When Kakashi came in all three of his new 'students' yelled 'You're late!' Even the Uchiha. "Good morning you guys!" They headed out into the field.
"I've set this alarm to go off at noon." The kids looked at him with confused expressions. He explained further… "I have here two small bells…You're challenge is to steal these away from me before the timer sounds. Anyone who fails…doesn't get any lunch. Instead you will be tied to that tree stump, so I can eat your lunch in front of you."
"So that's why you wanted us to go without any breakfast!" exclaimed Naruto.
Kakashi jingled the bells. "All you need is just one bell…Apiece. But since there aren't enough to go around, one of you is definitely headed for the stump. And whoever that is will be the first of you to fail. One of you is on your way back to school…and disgrace."
Their faces turned determined.
"You may, if you choose, use shuriken. Attack as though you mean to kill or you'll never stand a chance."
"But…" started Sakura. "That's so dangerous!"
"You couldn't even dodge an eraser! You're gonna get yourself killed."
"Only the weak speak loudly." Arrogance. Complete arrogance. I don't even need my Sharingan to see how this is gonna go.
"Now let's forget the dunce and we'll start at my signal!"
Naruto looked offended. Kakashi immediately became on guard. He knew the look of people when they had murder intent and he knew the movements they made when they were about to act on it. Naruto pulled a shuriken from his blue pocket and spun it on his finger. He then grabbed it mid-spin and charged. He could've hurt himself. A complete lack of caring for himself. Would make sense. No one cared about him. And he has no idea why.
"Naru-," stuttered the Uchiha. But it was already too late. Kakashi had already grabbed his hand and head and now had him in a position where Kakashi had all the advantages.
"Not so fast," he scolded. "I didn't say go." The side characters, or Haruno and Uchiha both stared at him. Haruno looked shocked while the Uchiha looked impressed. "But at least you tried to kill me so you must at least have some respect for me huh? Heh, heh, heh. Just maybe, I'm starting to like ya three. And now, ready, steady, Go!"
… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two and one! Kakashi opened his eyes to find all three kids gone. "The basis of all shinobi arts is to become invisible…eradicate yourself. All three of them are well hidden," he muttered under his mask.
And then Naruto popped out of nowhere.
"It's time for the match to begin! Let's make it a real match, worthy of the greatest warrior! Em-Warriors. I'm including you in there Sasuke!"
"You fuck head!" yelled the Uchiha before realizing what he had done and then Kakashi heard the leaves rustle and then stop. Really cares for the brat, huh.
He turned back toward Naruto. "I believe you're thinking of the wrong kind of match…"
Naruto charged. "The only thing wrong here is your hairstyle!" he cried. Okay, now that's just too far.
He went inside his pocket and Naruto skidded to a stop. "Let me teach you your first Ninjutsu skill. Tai-jutsu. The art of the trained body." He found what he was looking for and pulled it out. This was a very valuable thing to Kakashi. Something he loved more than his own life and would happily die if it meant he could have this forever, well, if Gai wouldn't complain to him after he died and went to whatever place they went after this.
What was this weapon you might ask? An orange book with the drawing of a man chasing after a woman. Whether she liked it or not remained unclear, just like in the book. The name of this great, no, holy book? Make-Out Paradise.
"Is something wrong? I thought you were coming for me?" asked Naruto. He stammered through more sentences before finally getting one out. "But that's a book."
"Of course it's a book. I've been dying to find out how this story ends. Carry on. It doesn't matter, I'm up against you. I can split my attention, can't I?"
It took a second of confusion on Naruto's face before he lost it.
"I'm gonna flatten you!" Like a pancake? Speaking of pancakes, the secondary love interest is very… Naruto punched fast, but Kakashi just blocked.
He tried to kick but Kakashi just dodged. Why would you do that? What type of man proposes in someone else's wedding! And she wore white?!
"All right! That's it!" cried Naruto. It happened to be the exact line Kakashi was reading. It was in the context that the female lead's sister was getting sick of her bullshit. This distracted him as it interrupted his thoughts. Okay, time to end this.
He went behind Naruto.
"What the?!" said Naruto.
"Don't show your back. It's bad ninjutsu dunce boy." The first two fingers on both of his hands were pressed against each other.
"Naruto," cried the Uchiha. "Get out of there!" I was right. He really does care about him.
Naruto turned to the Uchiha. "What?"
"Too late," said Kakashi.
"Naruto!" cried Sasuke. Kakashi put his fingers up his ass.
"Our villages' most secret and sacred technique. ONE THOUSANDS YEAR OF DEATH…to your ass. But we don't say that last part."
Suddenly a ball of fire hit Kakashi. Make-Out Paradise burned to crisp. Kakashi switched with a lodge, but it wasn't in time to save his clothing. He looked to where the fire came from, luckily sitting in a tree gave him a pretty good view. It was that Uchiha boy. Sasuke huh? They say Uchiha's love hard, don't they?
Naruto was fine. He had landed in the water like Kakashi had planned. The trees rustled again. Haha, I'll find a way to punish you for that. And then two ninja stars came out from the water. He's actually pretty clever. Kakashi caught them without a single glance and also without looking at where Sasuke was hiding. Guessing by his screams of agony he didn't dodge or see them in time. Naruto jumped out of the water with multiple shadow clones.
"Huh? What happened to the guy?" He seemed to have noticed Sasuke's screams because he came rushing over. He found Sasuke's body and boy, did he look bad. I outdid myself huh?
"Agh! Sasuke!" The first shuriken had impaled itself in the middle of his hand. Two fingers on either side. The second…on his head.
"I'm gonna kill you!" cried Naruto. Keep trying kid. It's about time you understood the path you're taking. Naruto looked around for the man. Kakashi just sighed and continued to read his book.
Oh, she slapped her too?! Oh my god!