"Once you drink from a fresh coconut, you'll never be the same," Kendall had jokingly said when he was sixteen. At the time, he couldn't have guessed how right he would be, how life would be divided into before and after. The day before the audition, he spent his time as an average teenager: fooling around, working in a supermarket and dreaming of being a center for the Minnesota Wild. Did he imagine that he would soon be building a career as a successful artist in Los Angeles? Well, it couldn't have been such a fortunate coincidence. The dream was too out of reach. No wonder it burst into his life as abruptly and unexpectedly as it left.
When Kendall arrived back, he wondered for a long time how his fate would have turned out if he had done things differently. Perhaps he should have turned down the arrogant composer right away. Or should he have disbanded the band after Griffin's first admonition? At some point, Kendall even imagined that after Gustavo's proposal he had agreed to a solo career without any hesitation. No boy band, no problems. All the responsibility and all the bitterness of loss rested on just one person, not him and his three best friends.
With each new thought the confidence faded more and more, and he was completely consumed by moping.
"You can't be pining all day long!" Katie was indignant and continued pacing the room nervously. "I had high hopes for Los Angeles too, and I wanted to go to a prestigious economics college there, but that's life, and you have to be prepared for anything."
"Yeah." Kendall stretched out on the couch.
"Let's go see your friends and talk about it. We'll figure out what to do next."
"No," Kendall said sternly. "We agreed on the way to Minnesota that we'd better not see each other anytime soon. Right now, you need to let go of the situation and try not to think about the past."
"It's been two days and you haven't even called anyone. You call that friendship?"
"Katie, my speeches aren't going to save anyone right now. To be honest, I could use a pep talk myself."
"No way!" She was outraged and smacked her brother on the head. "I'm tired of trying to help you, begging you, supporting you. I'm sick of it!"
Looking at her depressed brother, she realized that she had overreacted a bit, but she really didn't know how to save the situation. It made her feel angry and wistful.
"Eh... Okay, maybe the ice will help me get my thoughts together."
"Great, then let's go pick up the guys!" Katie exclaimed happily.
"I really appreciate your concern, but do you realize I don't have the energy for this?" Kendall continued in a high-pitched tone, standing up abruptly from the couch. "Not even that. Do you realize how much I don't? I shouldn't have signed the contract with Gustavo, I shouldn't have just sent him away. And after all this, you're making me feel worse by making me see the people I let down."
"I totally understand, but you're being selfish! Do you think Carlos is dancing for joy right now? He's probably hid his helmet. And Logan? It's too late for him to get a grant for medical school." She stopped suddenly, though she'd been speaking coherently and confidently before. "James dreamed of a boy band more than anyone. When you were ready to give up and leave, he did everything he could to stay, so he wouldn't lose the band and his faith in a brighter future."
"Stop it." Kendall wanted to cover his ears and not hear anything about his past. "You're right, I don't think anyone's having a good time right now. But I think the guys will find their strength and go out, like I did."
"Would you be able to do it on your own, or at least talk without my help?"
"No, and I'm very grateful to you." He smiled and kissed his sister on the forehead, but her expression only grew more somber.
"Exactly, you couldn't have done it alone. So get your ass up quickly and get to your friends. They need you."
"Katie..." Kendall wanted to object, but he was tired of bickering. Moreover, now his sister sounded much more convincing than he did. "You know, you're a great motivator, so you can go over to the guys' houses by yourself. I'd really appreciate it."
"They're your friends, not mine!"
"Look, we've lived together for years, so you know them as well as I do." Kendall hurriedly headed for the exit and turned around. "Now, if you'll excuse me, the rink closes in two hours. I don't have time to chat."
As always, I have to save everyone, the girl thought and rolled her eyes, but still headed to the address that was closest to her.
Whenever something bothered Logan, he would dive into research for a while. He reasoned that the world of science was devoid of positive, negative, and basically any emotion. There were only dry facts, which moved people into a familiar but new reality. A reality without the problems contrived by the psyche.
However, after the breakup of the band, the truth ceased to be so. Any material somehow related to science was associated with missed opportunities. He imagined what success he could have achieved if he hadn't agreed to a music career almost ten years ago... No, Logan couldn't even call music a career in his mind! Compared to medicine, it seemed to him to be just a fun, childish game. Something he'd foolishly given the best years of his life to.
"Open up. It's Katie," Katie said, and then Logan lazily went to the door.
"Kendall probably wanted to pick up his Battlefield disk," Logan said without greeting her and started to look for the game in one of the unopened bags, but Katie stopped him and took him firmly by the shoulders.
"I have no idea what you owe Kendall, but you'll figure it out on your own." She looked around the room and was horrified by the mess. "It has been a long time since you've had a chance to clean up."
"I'll do it without you. Why did you come here, then? To teach me about life?"
"I don't need you," Katie snapped, but at the same time, she decided to change tactics. "Okay, forget it. I came to ask you what your plans are for the future. Have you seen any of the guys?"
"Not much to say," Logan started and shrugged his shoulders in confusion. "Don't just stand there. Go into the kitchen. I'll make some tea."
"It's going to be a long conversation. I'll have a green tea, no sugar. So what about the boys?"
"I was gonna ask you about Kendall. He hasn't returned my messages," Logan said a little worriedly, wiping the kettle clean. This place could really use some cleaning, he thought, then ran the cloth over the pot again.
"I don't know," she admitted honestly. "But he said you'd agreed not to see each other for a while to recover."
Logan glanced meaningfully at Katie, and then she fell silent for a few seconds. Receiving no response, she continued: "Kendall sure sucks, but I'll deal with him. Do I have to go visit James and Carlos?"
"He could have at least sent one word. We're worried. James isn't any better. He's out of touch," Logan continued absentmindedly.
"Have you tried visiting him?"
"No. Let him be alone with his thoughts." He put the kettle on the stove, and then started going through the supplies on his shelf. "I have green with raspberry, with chamomile and without additives. Which one do you want?"
"Anything! Why should I care about you when you don't care about each other?"
"I care!" Logan shouted sharply and threw the tea bag away. "Just because I pretend things are going well doesn't mean they are. We agreed not to talk about music, about Gustavo and Kelly, about girls... Anything that reminded us of the Palm Woods, where we've spent a third of our lives! You think it's easy, don't you? You didn't have a career or a relationship there, so it's not for you to judge."
Logan seemed more aggressive than ever, making Katie uncomfortable. He cooled down a little and leaned his arms on the kitchen counter, but his heavy breathing continued to add to the atmosphere.
"Did you ever think that something might have happened to James?" she said cautiously, stepping back to a safe distance.
"Did you?"
"I thought. Maybe it's too late to think."
"You mean..." Logan was visibly worried and didn't finish the sentence. "No, I don't even want to imagine that! Katie, go get him and tell me what you know."
"Okay, in that case, you have to go to Carlos and tell me what's going on with him," Katie replied and reluctantly went to James. Even Logan had been emotional, though he hadn't dreamed of being an artist, and James, who literally lived for music and fame, could be worse.