"Couldn't you at least think about what you were doing?" The man was indignant, shifting his gaze from one boy to the other. "And here you are, young man. Not only did you sneak alcoholic beverages into a medical facility, but you gave them to a patient with a concussion. That's idiotic!"
"I'm sorry," James replied barely audibly. He looked exactly the same as he had when he'd broken the school window in seventh grade: his cheeks were flushed and his eyes were burning through the floor.
"Don't blame James, it was my fault. I asked him to go get a refill last night and I got what I deserved," Kendall replied, putting a hand to his temples. No hangover in his life had ever hurt so badly that his head felt like it was going to split open. Given his general malaise, he felt terrible. He wanted to get rid of the doctor's lectures as soon as possible, so he didn't pay attention to the following sentences and only nodded from time to time.
"But if we gave you drugs that are incompatible with alcohol. The same sedatives or anti-inflammatory drugs, can you imagine what would happen?" The man continued to be indignant, not paying any attention to the boys' condition. "All right, Mr.-"
"Diamond."
"Mr. Diamond. Our nurse on duty will handle Kendall's requests just fine, you've done enough as it is. I'm going to ask you to leave the room and stay out of here until the patient is discharged. You are dismissed!"
"Please don't!" Kendall exclaimed, but his shout aggravated his headache and silenced him abruptly.
"I'll figure out what's going on here and who wants what. You've already shown your level of responsibility."
James wanted to object, but he couldn't. He felt like the most guilty person in the world and wanted only one thing: to hide from the world outside. He silently left the room without saying goodbye to anyone. The doctor, too, decided not to linger and reminded Kendall of the nurse's availability, then went about his other duties.
Kendall couldn't think of anything better to do than to stare at the ceiling and remember yesterday's events. Getting intoxicated after the concussion had left him with no idea of what had happened after the second bottle. Judging by the empty containers, they were stronger than the first Light, but they didn't seem to be as strong as Kendall's memory lapses.
Apparently, he was the only one who'd been drunk last night. The dose was too small for James, who was healthy. So James must have remembered what happened yesterday, but how would he interrogate him? He didn't seem to be in the mood to talk at all right now, and... Damn head, it hurt. Yeah, Kendall would have preferred silence himself.
His thoughts were interrupted by a barely audible knock, and then he said "come in" without thinking.
"Hello, Mr.—"
"Stop, it's just Kendall," he corrected when he heard a thin female voice. Turning around, Kendall saw a young, fragile girl holding a heavy-looking package. "Put it down! Don't carry such heavy things!"
"Kendall, here are some analgesics and some other medicines that we allowed Mr. Diamond to buy. Don't take them unless you have to, but if you're in a lot of pain, you can take one Anaprox tablet with your meal. Mr. Diamond brought the food, too. We've double-checked everything you can eat. There are some glossy magazines in there, so you won't get bored. But if you need me, you're welcome to call me."
"Why would you ask James to buy so much stuff? I could have done without it." Kendall resented him, realizing that he'd had to spend a lot of money.
"We didn't ask for anything. It was Mr. Diamond's initiative. I let him drop it off in person, but he refused."
"Oh, James." Kendall wasn't surprised at his behavior, but he really wanted to thank him personally. "Thank you so much as well. Take something from the bag, I can't eat this much in two days. And, please, tell me your name."
"Alice."
Before she could finish, Kendall stood up and took her hand gently but firmly enough for her not to leave.
"It's a pleasure, Alice. Don't even think of refusing. Now let's see what's in here... Dark chocolate. Do you like that?"
"Kendall, listen." Alice took a deep breath and continued. "I understand that you had a fight with Mr. Diamond and that's why he didn't want to deliver the package in person. But, despite everything, he didn't forget about you, showed he was concerned, and you're flirting behind his back. I'm sorry, I don't want to intrude on your personal life, but you shouldn't be reckless."
"I just wanted to thank you," Kendall said calmly, but a moment later his expression changed dramatically. "Wait, what makes you think James is my boyfriend?"
Alice looked away awkwardly.
"I was on duty yesterday and I heard some weird noises coming from your room. When I came in, I saw you two kissing. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have intruded, but I didn't mean to."
"Keep your voice down. I still have a headache," Kendall said indignantly, trying not to show his shock at Alice's words.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," Alice said, barely audibly. He probably looked really upset because he sensed the pity in her tone. "I won't tell anyone. I promise."
"It's a misunderstanding, honestly."
Alice took a seat on Kendall's bed and pushed herself toward the very edge.
"Kendall, I understand what you're going through. My older brother was bullied after he came out, too. Our parents are conservative people, so they couldn't accept their son's orientation.
"Of course, no one beat him or kicked him out of the house, but conflicts often broke out between Alex and my parents. During dinner, our father did not hesitate to show how he felt and kept asking him when he would have children, when he would find a wife, and so on. My brother was hurt to the core by his words, so in the end, he moved in with his boyfriend."
"That sounds like it was an unpleasant situation."
"Yes, it was. Alex has been living with the man he loves for several years now, and believe me, they are happier than many heterosexual couples," Alice concluded with a sincere smile. "My point is, even here, in America, not everyone knows how to behave appropriately, but you shouldn't worry about their opinion. James seems like a good guy. I think he has real feelings for you. Don't let your love crumble under people's angry looks, because there are just as many understanding people."
"I'm happy for your brother, Alice... Just as I'm glad to have you here," Kendall said and put his arm around her as if she was an old friend. He slipped a bar of chocolate into the pocket of her medical coat without her noticing.
"Everything will be alright, you'll see! But right now, I have to rush off to my other patients."
"Of course, it's no problem."
Alice's last words struck a nerve with Kendall. His parents had always been pedants and, as in Alex's case, would not be happy about his decision.
And what would he even say to his parents if he couldn't make up his mind himself? It was unclear if the kiss was merely the result of intoxication, and if so, what was the awkwardness he felt while still sober? Why did James respond to the kiss if he was at most slightly drunk? Thinking back to the incident at his house and the strange questions at the game, Kendall decided: James had a thing for him.
But how should he react. He'd never had a crush on a guy in his entire life, and here he was, at twenty-two, gay? That sounds impossible.
"She won't respond. Of course she won't. I'm so stupid! I'm such a fool!" Those words went through his head to the rhythm of the beeps. They seemed like the most annoying sound in the world, but the complete silence afterward was even worse for Logan.
Why couldn't he express his emotions directly? Even the recent phrase to Carlos had been torture, let alone to other people. Instead of saying a proper goodbye to Camille, he'd condemned her and himself to the ordeal.
The people who loved him didn't deserve to be treated like this. He should have been solving problems, not ignoring them! But what could he do now to ease the suffering a little? Unless he stopped thinking, but that was hardly possible. Sooner or later, those thoughts would kill him.
Logan had not had time to let his guard down and dissolve into self-criticism when he received a phone call. He sincerely wanted to believe it was neither the guys nor anyone else. There was only one name he dreamed of seeing on the screen.
"Camille!" Logan exclaimed happily and picked up the phone in a flash. "Listen to me. Please."
"Hello to you, too, Logan," Camille answered suspiciously calmly. "Okay, I'm listening."
"There have been some strange things going on between us lately. I'm not the best person, Camille, and I know that.
"Things have happened, but you have always been a loyal friend and a person for whom I felt more than just respect, even after our breakup. I loved you, even if I was afraid to admit it. Loved every acting role you played and the real you. You're more than just a charming girl. You're incredible. And I'm a terribly unpleasant creature, even to myself.
"I've been replaying our conversation in my head so many times, but now I'm just talking gibberish, sorry."
"Logan..." Camille began, and then there were sobs on the other end of the line.
"Camille? Don't cry, please. An idiot like me doesn't deserve your tears! Yes, I ran away from my problems and didn't even call back, but now I'm ready to redeem myself by any means necessary!"
When the sobs stopped, Camille continued:
"Your problem is that you sometimes get too wrapped up in yourself. It's like you're immersed in a separate world from which you're unable to understand or at least hear others.
"I don't think you're bad, and I love you even when you hate yourself. You're just confused."
"You're right. When I felt bad, I didn't even notice how the other guys felt. I'm a terrible friend... Now Kendall's in the hospital with a concussion, James is taking care of him, and I haven't even called them."
"You're not a terrible friend, Logan. Here's the deal, you stop insulting yourself, and we'll figure out what to do together. Okay?"
"All right."
"First, you tell me everything in order. Everything that's really bothering you."
Logan told her about the sudden breakup of the band, about his fear of his parents, about the fact that he didn't know how and with what kind of money he was going to get into medical school. Now Camille was the only person he could confide all his fears to.
Camille was silent for a moment, and Logan even thought she had hung up on him. But then she said firmly: "First of all, you'll get into medical school if you really want to. As far as I know, some universities give out generous grants. You should look for information on that. Also, don't forget about distance learning. It's usually cheaper. You're a smart guy, so why panic?"
"I don't know. Suddenly—"
"There's no 'suddenly'! Secondly, they may have taken the band away from you, but no one's taking away your voice. Do solo gigs at coffee houses, corporate events, save up the money little by little.
"And third: talk to your parents. Nobody's gonna beat you! Set your pride aside and ask them to help you financially. They won't refuse their only son."
Logan fell into a stupor and at the same time felt an epiphany. In the last few minutes Camille had not just given him a plan of action. She had made him believe in his own strength again.
"Camille, I don't even know how to thank you. You don't know how much you've helped me. I'm gonna buy you a big bouquet of roses with my first paycheck!"
"I don't want roses, Logan. All I want right now is to see you."
Logan sighed sadly.
"I want to see you too. Come to me."
"I can't, next week is jammed full of casting calls. But I'll see if I can see you sometime soon. Now, before you lose your enthusiasm, go and do it!"
"I will, Cami," Logan said with a slight smile, giving her an air kiss and saying goodbye.
Finally, Katie could concentrate on finding a college. Carlos had warned her yesterday that Kendall was spending the night with friends, so she had the house to herself. As she finished her second cup of coffee, she searched diligently for information on Minnesota institutions.
To think that all year she'd been counting on Los Angeles City College, and now she'd have to change her plans. At least Minnesota's admissions process was easier.
The search was interrupted by the doorbell going off unexpectedly. Had the boys done something wrong again?
Expecting to see them, Katie clicked her tongue and headed for the door. But there was a completely different person standing at the threshold; someone Katie couldn't have guessed was coming.
"Gustavo?"
"As you can see," the man replied arrogantly and entered the house without permission. "Where are the dogs?"
"First of all, you no longer have the right to call them that. Secondly, why do you need them?"
"Too many questions," Gustavo said indignantly, but then he softened his tone and sat down. As Katie had already guessed, there was going to be a long explanation. "It's even better, because a private conversation with you was part of my plan.
"I've been wanting to quit Griffin or buy out Rocque Records for a long time, and I'll be doing one of those things soon. That's where I'm gonna need your help. You see, Big Time Rush's contract has a lot of pitfalls that Griffin set up after the band broke up the first time. I want to get around them legally, preferably without a lot of money. You know, the hits are long gone, and it's gonna cost a fortune to fire or buy out Rocque Records. Anyway, I'm counting on your help."
Katie always knew how to wittily answer the arrogant composer, but this time she was confused. What if Rocque's idea didn't work out and the band broke up again? The guys had just gotten their lives together and accepted the move. They might not be able to take it one more time. On the other hand, Katie had the opportunity to go back to LA and enter LACC.
"Why would you want Big Time Rush? You're not going to make the same money with them that you used to. There's something you're not telling me!"
"Big Time Rush is the most popular band of my career. The auditions may not be the same, but we're not going to be out of money." He averted his eyes, as if embarrassed by what he was about to say. "And I miss the dogs. They made me angry on several occasions, but they made me feel like family. If there's one thing that's heartwarming in modern show business, it's the bond between a songwriter and his favorite band."
"So close that you're willing to break your contract with LA's biggest shark?" Katie squinted her eyes and crossed her arms.
"I devote almost all my free time to the artists Griffin put me on. They seem like okay people, but, you know, the wrong ones. No better than the four knuckleheads I've grown to love." At the last word, Gustavo got all red in the face, so he stopped talking.
"Look, the guys miss their old life too, but now they're building a new life. World tours and sweet life are not eternal. The band has broken up twice already.
"And how many times have there been situations when they were on a roll? It's Hawk Records, it's the press, it's some other shit. You always have to have a plan B, by which I personally mean a college education."
"Big Time Rush is not the only band I plan to work with. There will be time in their schedule to study. Even part-time at a prestigious university in Los Angeles is better than full-time in Minnesota." Gustavo glanced suspiciously at Katie. "Where do you most want to go?"
"You know the answer to that, but don't try to blackmail me. Give me the contract and I'll tell you how bad it is."
"Yeah, take it. I won't be in this hole much longer. I'm leaving after the concert tomorrow. Call the number."
Katie probably had Gustavo's number, but he handed her a business card, just in case. She took it hesitantly, just as she had taken the contract. She gave Gustavo a cold stare and put aside the search for universities and opened the tab for the Copyright Act in the United States.