Chapter 10 Tunnel of Terror

"After you," Bowser said, wearing the most charming smile as he gestured for Rosalina to take a seat in the swan boat. She gracefully lowered herself in, curling her hair back as Bowser proceeded to situate his enormous frame. He took up so much space that Rosalina was practically squished, situated right on the bare edge of the seat. Admittedly, this made Bowser feel a little guilty, as well as extremely silly. Thankfully, Rosalina waved her wand and expanded the size of the boat; an action that drew a big breath of relief out of the Koopa King. He leaned back, grinning as he stared up at the Tunnel of Love's entrance.

"Well." He put his arm around Rosalina, squeezing the top of her own ar. "Let's do this dance, shall we?"

With that, the swan boat began sailing down the stream. When they entered the tunnel, pink and purple lights came on overhead, illuminating the path. It interested Bowser in many ways. Despite how much of a hopeless romantic he was, he had never actually been in a Tunnel of Love. He had wanted to; he could very clearly imagine taking Peach on such a romantic ride. With the two of them in close proximity, holding hands and observing the sights, a relationship between the two would certainly begin to blossom. The princess would be able to see past Bowser's looks (as well as his frequent kidnappings… his obnoxious personality… and his stubbornness…) and finally realize that Mario wasn't the perfect knight in shining armor that she saw him as. She would finally give Bowser a chance. She could finally make everything right in Bowser's world and accept his hand in marriage.

Of course, he was with Rosalina right now, not Peach. Kind of a disappointing fact, but hey. Sometimes life just worked that way.

Anyway, the tunnel ride was already underway. Bowser looked at all of the attractions. There were hearts everywhere, hearts of red, pink, purple, and white. Bowser could see some rose bushes growing in patches of dirt along the sides of the canal, red as his eyes. He also took note of the music; it very heavily featured a violin. It played a slow, thoughtful tune, one that was completely appropriate for the situation. It almost distracted him from some of the other sights along the canal. He saw swan statues, carved out of some of the finest-looking marble Bowser had ever seen. He saw cherubs hanging from the ceiling, as well as cupids that had arrows directly aimed towards them. He detected the unmistakable scent of chocolate, the sweetest aroma in the world. When compared with the watery smell of the tunnel itself, it created one of the coolest experiences ever for the lovey-dovey Koopa King.

He slowly reached his hand out and took Rosalina's hand. "Pretty neat, huh?"

Rosalina chuckled. "It's… certainly something else." She looked up at him. Thanks to the pink lighting of the tunnel, her blue eyes looked purple. "Thank you for taking me."

Bowser beamed; oh, progress was certainly being made here. "Of course." He reached out and pushed her bang out of her face. He smiled, staring into her eyes as if they held the secrets of the universe (which very might well be the case, now that he thought about it). "Anything for such an amazing woman."

Rosalina's face turned pink. Just as they passed by another rose bush, Bowser reached out and plucked one of them. Ignoring the fact that a very sharp thorn was digging into the tip of his finger, he gave the flower over to the goddess. She blushed even harder, looking down at the rose and taking in its smell. She looked like she was in Heaven taking it in. She looked content like she had never experienced something like this in the thousand or so years that she's been alive. Her smile made Bowser's heart flutter. It fluttered in ways that he never would've imagined going into this fake date.

He scooted closer to her. "I don't think I could imagine a better person to spend this with." Well, he could; Peach was still his true love, and the fact that she wasn't here caused Bowser a tiny bit of sadness. But… well, he shouldn't be dwelling on that right now; he had a mission that he was so close to accomplishing. "You are the most beautiful woman in the universe."

If Rosalina had blushed before, now she looked embarrassed enough to disappear. "Th… thanks."

Bowser chuckled. This was going extremely well. A kiss was sure to follow within no time at all.

…

Pinkbert stopped when he saw Bowser and his Mama, floating down the tunnel hand in hand. It made him sick and filled him with a type of anger he never experienced before. The other lumas mirrored his crossness, crossing their arms and giving the sight before them the most disapproving looks.

"Unbelievable," a yellow luma said.

"Yeah." Pushing his anger to the side for a little bit, Pinkbert took in a breath and turned toward his siblings. "Okay guys, we need to make sure that Bowser and Mama don't kiss." He smiled. "You guys know what to do."

The lumas nodded, wearing the same grin that Pinkbert wore. They zipped off, going to various parts of the tunnel. Pinkbert watched as they turned invisible, and he chuckled as he turned his attention back to Bowser.

"Your date ends here, big guy." With that, he turned invisible too and went to help his siblings.

…

Bowser ran his hand through the water, feeling the silky wet smoothness. He grinned, appreciating the feeling almost as much as he was appreciating the apparent success of his plan. He pulled his hand out, looking back at Rosalina. She had her eyes on some of the swan statues, looking at them with a sort of awe.

"Oh, I haven't seen swans in forever." She placed her hands in her lap. "I feel… I'll admit Bowser, you're making me feel special." She looked back at him, staring right into his eyes. "Extremely special."

"Good." Bowser scooted closer to her, putting his hand on her face. "Because you are special."

A silence befell the scene, one filled with suspense. Bowser slowly inched his way toward the Lady of the Shooting Stars. While under normal circumstances she probably would've pulled away, this time she allowed him to advance. He got closer and closer to her, ready to plant a kiss on her lips. He got closer and closer. She was so close now. So.. close…

"AAAH!"

The shriek in the tunnel made Bowser jump back with a gasp. "What was that?"

Rosalina blinked. "I don't know." Her brow furrowed. "It almost sounded like…"

Before she could finish speaking, the eyes of the cupids hanging from the ceiling turned red. Bowser's fear skyrocketed when he saw this, and it only got worse when the angels started to shoot at them. Rosalina shrieked, especially when one of the arrows lodged itself in her left arm.

"What the hell is going on here?" Bowser said as he removed the arrow. He extended his own arms, catching about four arrows but allowing them to lodge in his skin. It hurt like the dickens, making him grit his teeth. "This is supposed to be romantic! Why is everything attacking us!"

The lights above turned from pink to red. The burning hot color coated everything, and it made the cupids look… wrong. They detached themselves from the ceiling and started swarming Bowser and Rosalina. Bowser breathed fire on some of them. Rosalina used her wand, shooting arcane blasts at any of these rogue angels. Each one fell in the water around them, sinking to the bottom like they were made of lead.

"I swear Rose, I did not plan this going in," Bowser said right as he finished burning up another angel.

"I know you didn't." She shot down another angel, her face growing angry. "But I think I know who's causing this."

Bowser blinked. "You do?"

Rosalina nodded. "I think this is being caused by…"

Before she even had a chance to finish, the boat tipped over, sending both the Koopa and the goddess into the water. With his head submerged, Bowser's panic levels reached an all-time high. Seriously, what was going on here? Why was this happening?

He rose to the surface, gasping as the red lights overhead began flashing. Rosalina shot her head out of the water herself, gasping for air. Bowser put his arm around her and led her to the dry shoreline. Once they were both out of the water, Bowser really noticed how worried and wet the space princess was. She shivered, rubbing her arms as her teeth chattered and her body shook. She sneezed, all while her wet hair fell around her face.

"Oh, Rose." Forgetting about the kiss for a minute, he wrapped his arms around Rosalina. She sneezed on him, but he didn't care. He wanted to keep her warm and prevent her from getting too sick. He rubbed her back, noticing that her breathing rate was unbearably fast. He instructed her to take some deep breaths, which she did. She took deep breath after deep breath, and as such, seemed to calm down a little bit.

Even with that fact, Bowser was still worried. "It's going to be okay, Rose." He held her close. "I promise you it's…"

Before he could finish his sentence, the swan statues that had been situated on the shore rose into the air. Flapping their rocky wings, they charged towards Bowser and Rosalina. Shrieking, Bowser stood up. Holding Rosalina firmly in his arms, he rushed down the shoreline toward the exit. Some of the swans managed to hit his shell, turning into crumbly pieces of rock when they did. Even still, it hurt like hell. Bowser broke into a run, hopeful to get out of the tunnel in one piece. After all, with the things attacking him and the red lights creating the worst strobe effect in the world, the thought of staying in the Tunnel of Terror was ludicrous at best.

Within no time, Bowser got to the exit. He slowed down, taking deep breaths. The air was so fresh, the light was so relatively UNpainful. He set Rosalina down on the ground, noticing that she was still trembling. As such, he patted her on the back, telling her over and over that it would all be okay. They were out of the tunnel, they were safe from the killer cupids and the satanic swans. Much to Bowser's relief, his words seemed to have an effect on her. She put her hand on top of his, taking deep breaths as Bowser continued comforting her.

"There there." She was so small in his hands, so frail. She almost seemed like a regular human, especially with her very grounded and reasonable reaction to what happened in the tunnel. "It's all going to be okay." He went out of his way to use a soothing tone. His voice was much lower than he was used to, but he didn't mind. As long as she ultimately came out of this situation feeling better, then it would all be worth it.

Within no time at all, she was completely calmed down. She stood back up, pushing her wet hair out of her face and making sure her drenched outfit didn't stick to her body. "Th…" she cleared her throat. "Thank you, Bowser."

"Of course." Bowser looked back into the Tunnel of Love. The lights had turned back to pink, and any evidence that the objects had attacked them was long gone. "That's the last time I'm going on one of those rides, lemme tell you."

Rosalina wore one of the most serious frowns Bowser had ever seen, even beating the disapproving looks Mario would give him. "I can't believe it."

"I can't either." He turned back to her. "I think 'scary' is a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"

Rosalina opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, a coo sound could be heard. Bowser and Rosalin turned, seeing Pinkbert and his siblings floating behind them.

"Hey, Bowser. Hey, Mama," he said. "Is everything okay?"

Rosalina gave him a glare, a face that actually made him back up. "Young man," she said, her voice low and serious. "You are in BIG trouble."