Author's Note: I've never played any Wario games outside of Smash and have no idea what he sounds like. The Mario wiki says "thick Italian accent" but my mind leans more toward "biker guy on the New York subway".

Their conversation lasted two hours and one game. Peach lost, using the time between either of them speaking to ponder her fate.

"You understand we need to fight our way out?" Zelda started both the game and the conversation.

"How can we do that if our friends are being forced to fight against us?"

"We can't. We need another plan completely."

"Because there's no guarantee that Master Hand will actually deliver on his promise?"

"Yes. And not all the fighters have been promised escape. King me."

Peach scowled. "Oh bother. Let me guess, Wario just wants money?"

Zelda nodded, and didn't speak for another few moves. "There are a few that truly live for the fight. They could actually hinder us."

"Marth. And Pit."

"Perhaps. It can be hard to tell. I found Samus looking for weak points in the walls. I don't think he wants to stay."

"Maybe we can get word to our friends by making more friends. Then have them spread the word if they are switched to other rooms."

"I have already discussed it with Ness. He says Donkey Kong is with us on this."

Telepathy is certainly useful, Peach thought to herself. Though I bet Master Hand sees him as a threat. "I suppose he will be one of the first to be moved."

"Yes. We must be careful. I left out my cards and Master Hand took some of them. King me."

Peach sighed in impatience. "Zelda, do you have allies from your world here in a different room too?"

"One. Pit views him as his rival for some reason."

Peach tried to remember which of the fighters that was. She could just ask Pit again. It was his favorite subject. "I'm worried Bowser might leave with me and without Mario and Luigi."

"I'll speak with him. Master Hand pays less attention when we speak with people from different worlds."

"Then I shouldn't talk to Bowser?"

"Yes you can, he won't see your rival as a threat. We have to be careful because our positions in our worlds are similar. King me."

Hence the long conversation over checkers. "What should we do in the meantime?"

"Keep fighting. The lower in the tier you are, the less often you fight and are moved. We both need to gather as many to our cause as we can." Zelda picked up one of her kings and jumped the remainder of Peach's checkers. "I win. Care to play again?"

"No thank you. My head hurts." And not from the game.

Zelda nodded in sympathy and was about to speak when a loud POP announced the arrival of Master Hand next to the outside door. "Greetings and salutations, my warriors! It's time for us to mix things up a bit!" He turned to Ness. "Young man, time for you to switch places."

Peach and Zelda exchanged worried glances. Peach felt herself start to sweat. How much of their conversation had he overheard? It had taken them two hours to get through a five-minute discussion.

Ness shouldered his bat and stepped into the portal. "And now, his replacement!"

Wario stepped out. Peach facepalmed.

"Wario buddy! Care to pair up for some Mario-stomping?" Bowser called from the other side of the room.

"Well, if it isn't Peaches and the Not-At-All-A-Ninja Turtle!" Wario stomped his way over to Bowser. "Hey, I could really use a cool one right now." He pointed to Peach's table. "Care to join me? Hey, get a couple for the ladies too!"

"Coming right up!" Bowser pulled a few bottles out of the refrigerator.

Wario whacked Peach on the back. "Having fun, Peaches? Can you introduce me to your pretty friend?"

"Ah, don't start the party yet, we've got a newcomer!" Master Hand grinned wide and his eyes flicked over to Zelda for a brief second. Peach felt a thrill of foreboding. "Bowser, Wario, I'm sure you feel the 'good guys' get too much of the glamour, no?"

They sat down and banged their bottles on the table. "You got it, Crazy Hand!" Wario exclaimed.

"Superb! I'm just dying to see how you'll compare. Ladies and gentlemen, angels, cyborgs and gorillas…I give you the scourge of Hyrule, the King of Evil…Ganondorf!"

A very large man stepped out of the portal, dressed head to toe in black armor. Peach glanced over to Zelda, who had gone white.

"Well, then, I'll leave you to it!" Master Hand smiled with a grin that had a few too many teeth to be friendly. "I'm sure you'll all make our newcomer feel at home!" He disappeared.

The newcomer turned his gaze over to the little group at the table. He wore a scowl on his face and had gold-coin eyes that seemed to look right through them. Peach could see both Bowser and Wario sitting with their mouths wide open.

Suddenly the ring of metal cut through the silence. All eyes were on Samus, who extended the hand that did not hold a weapon. "I am Samus Aran. I am a bounty hunter and hold no affiliations. I trust we can keep any disagreements we may have on the battlefield?"

The man regarded Samus for a moment, then broke into a smile that made Peach even more uncomfortable than the scowl did. He clasped hands. "Greetings, Samus Aran. And greetings, warriors of the Smash Arena." His eyes raked each person in turn. "A warrior clad in steel, a dragon, a fierce beast, and a boy with the power of flight. And those are only the ones I can discern from looking at you. I'm certain you and the other warriors have abilities that will prove formidable in the ring. I look forward to the challenges!"

Peach watched Bowser and Wario turn to each other and shrug. Wario pulled a chair over to the table next to him and Bowser. "Hey, have a seat, new guy. Lemme get you a drink."

"Please excuse me, I am not feeling well." Zelda stood and made for the bedrooms as quickly as she could while keeping her dignity. Peach half stood, wondering if she should follow her. But Wario handed off his drink and clapped Peach on the shoulder, gently pressing her back into the chair. "Hey Peaches, relax. We're all friends here." He jerked his head toward Bowser, who turned to her and nodded, clenching his fist in solidarity.

Peach breathed a sigh of relief. They might not have been the Mario Brothers, but she felt more secure knowing she was not alone.

Much of the rest of the night, Peach sat in a daze, her face frozen in happy mode as her head spun. As people rose to go to sleep for the night, Wario motioned for her to stay put.

Once they were alone, he turned to her and said in a low voice, "Heroes do as they're told, but villains mix things up. Me and the turtle'll do what we can to help."

Then he stood, let loose a belch that shook the walls, and tossed his bottle in the bin. "'Night, Peaches. Get a good night's sleep for tomorrow's tourney." He turned and left for bed.

Peach sat staring into space for a few moments, then retired to her own room. In the bed, she stared at the ceiling for a while, then rolled over and closed her eyes. She didn't bother turning off the light. She felt strangely unwilling to lie in the dark.