A/N: Warnings in this chapter for violence. Also, my husband is a psych nurse and he hears bad things. Sometimes they influence my stories. I'm not downplaying the usefulness of anxiety meds - they have their place, but all chemicals you put into your body have side effects, and it's up to the patient to weigh the good with the bad to determine their own best course of action.

I know most people just skip past the lyrics at the beginning, but this song really is the essence of their whole conversation. Give it a listen if you'd like (after you read). It's not really a spoiler for the story, just my POV as the writer. I'd put all the verses up if I had room. It's "The Starting Line" by Keane

Define fulcrum: the point on which a lever rests and pivots,
A thing that plays a central or essential role in an activity, event, or situation.

PART III

Chapter 37: The Fulcrum
Enos```/_\```Daisy

"Girl, I still believe in you, you're too good to fall so low
We're gonna find a better life, I know
Things will be clearer, and as soon as we make a start
We'll be that much nearer
We're too old to just stand here
Waiting to break apart."
'The Starting Line' ~ Keane

"Quit elbowing me, Luke! There's another window right over there."

"You grabbed the better binoculars, Bo. The least you could do would be to stop knocking me in the head with them."

They jostled for position, holding up slats of the blinds with one hand while trying to keep focused on the two people walking through the dark yard.

"They must be going out to the barn," said Bo. "I hope they don't make things worse than they already are."

"It'd sure be nice if they buried the hatchet somewhere than in each others backs. Maybe we'd see Enos every now and again."

Bo wholeheartedly agreed. As little as he had in common with the former deputy, Enos being estranged from the Dukes wasn't right - like cutting off one of your fingers and trying to pretend you didn't need it in the first place. "After Daisy married that joker L.D., I can't tell you how many times I wished we hadn't talked her outta marrying Enos."

Luke gave up on sharing the space with Bo and moved to the other window. "Ain't that the truth," he sighed. "I reckon hindsight's 20/20."

Daisy caught up to Enos and together they walked through the darkness towards the new barn. The doors were closed now, but Bo had stacked hay bales by the fence for the animals' feed in the morning. She sat down on one, exhausted from crying and wishing she had brought a jacket. The night might be warm by Michigan's standards, but the forties were still chilly. Enos dragged another bale around and sat down across from her.

"I was afraid you'd find out yesterday with everyone over for Christmas," he said. "I should've told you myself weeks ago, but I couldn't, not after all you'd been through. It would have been confusing, anyway."

"If I had known, I never would have gone to Tamarack, Enos. I never meant to hurt you."

His smile was sad. "I know."

"You should have kicked me out and told me to leave."

"To go where, Daisy? Besides, I meant what I said that day you came. Don't matter that your last name is Duke and mine is Strate. My pa used to say moonshine is thicker than blood. You're family, and nothing's gonna change that."

She closed her eyes again as tears slipped again down her cheeks and rubbed at her cold arms.

"Hey-"

Enos' flannel shirt landed in her lap and she gratefully shrugged it on, feeling warmer of spirit as well as body, though guilty to leave him with only a t-shirt. "Thanks."

"We've both done some pretty stupid things, I reckon," he continued. "I forgot that family is more important than anything else. I tried to make us into something that we weren't meant to be, and I lost my best friend because of it." He sounded on the verge of tears himself, and she kept her head down, not wanting to see pain in his eyes.

Tried to make us into something we weren't. Perhaps he had never loved her, at all, then. Not with that kind of love. Maybe they had gotten so caught up in their own messes that neither could see a way out, so she had married some deadbeat she'd known for three days and he had fled to California.

"I don't understand the person I was, Enos," she said. "I don't think I could go a single day knowing that I'd hurt a friend without trying to make it right. Of course, you didn't leave a forwarding address so I didn't know where you were."

"Daisy?" He waited until she looked up at him. "How long did it take you to find me?"

Oh.

"Not very long, I guess."

"The Daisy I used to know would never have come to Tamarack. Ever. I'm sure she cared about me and was sorry for hurting my feelings, but not enough to snooker my address out of Rosco."

Daisy knew there was a better explanation. "Maybe she thought you never wanted to see her again," she said, finding it easier to speak of her past self in third person. "She probably thought you hated her."

The expression of surprise and regret on his face told her he had never considered that possibility, but to her it made perfect sense. Of course she didn't go to Tamarack!

He rubbed at the tension in his face. "Aren't we a pair?" he sighed. "You can't remember the last twenty years, and I'd just as soon forget them."

For the first time, she saw a chink in his heart's flawless armor. Here in this moment, it lay exposed and vulnerable, and she knew this would be her only chance to make things right.

"Enos...," she began, carefully as though navigating a minefield. "I truly don't remember anything that happened between us. Even after reading the letter and Jill explaining the robbery, I still don't understand." She paused and waited for her words to find their mark. His eyes met hers, unreadable in the stark, colorless light as he waited for her to continue. "Forgetting might be too much to ask, but...if you could see it in your heart to forgive me, I don't want to lose you over a past I can't fix or change."

"You really mean that?" he asked, sounding more like the Enos she knew. "You ain't upset over me keeping you in the dark?"

She shook her head. "I'm glad you didn't tell me," she admitted. "It would have made things awkward between us, don't you think?"

He looked relieved, and she knew he had come to the same conclusion.

"Daisy," he sighed. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to forgive someone who can't remember doing anything wrong."

She shrugged, "Still, it'd make me feel better."

He regarded her skeptically, but there was humor in his eyes. "Then can we never talk about this again?" he pleaded. "All this sentimental talk is gonna give me hives."

She laughed, and he grinned back at her. "Deal." She spat into her palm and held it out to him.

He did the same and sealed the promise.

Bo and Luke were waiting at the table when they came back inside, but Enos had seen the slats in the living room blinds fall closed as he and Daisy walked across the yard. Still gobsmacked by the conversation they'd had which seemed to have magically erased the entire mess between them, he contented himself with fading into the corner of the kitchen while Daisy apologized to her cousins, blowing off her tearful exit as too many things all piled on top of each other. Whatever different they had heard from the other side of the door, they managed to keep to themselves.

The Duke family set right again, Enos followed the boys out to the barn where they proved Murphy's Law true by spending two hours removing the rusty, bent disc from the harrow and ten minutes putting the new one on. Dirty, sweaty, and with aching shoulders, he groaned as Luke beat him to the shower and left him with warm water and every towel damp. Halfway through, with his hair full of soap, the last of the hot water ran out and he gritted his teeth as he rinsed off then hurried to dress.

He opened the medicine cabinet hoping for aspirin, but there was only a roll of Tums, an empty prescription bottle, and a half pint of Uncle Jesse's 'cough syrup' which was probably 90% moonshine. Curious, he picked up the prescription bottle and turned it around to read Daisy M. Duke and Xanax (alprazolam) 0.5mg.

Rosco had been right then, to an extent. Xanax was for anxiety instead of depression, and probably standard medication for anyone dealing with the stress of severe amnesia. The stuff had its uses, but it wasn't a monkey he had wanted on his own back, even after the nightmares began and the LAPD's shrink suggested it. He'd known a guy at Central who was taking it after a bullet had left him riding a desk. Enos didn't know if it was the pills, the desk job, or the bullet, but the man had been half alive afterwards and killed himself a couple months later.

Enos seemed to remember Daisy mentioned tossing her pills into the pond because they made her not care about anything and want to stare at the floor all day. He assumed these were what she meant, but that had been months ago and he hadn't been paying close enough attention. He put the bottle back on its shelf then gathered his dirty clothes and left the bathroom, running headlong into Bo who was waiting outside the door for the shower.

"I'd wait for it to warm up," he suggested. "Luke used all the hot water."

Bo smacked his towel against the wall. "Dang it, Luke!" he yelled. "Thanks a lot!"

There was laughter from the far bedroom. "I can't help it if you two move like sloths."

Enos left Bo to sulk and went back to the guest room. No sooner had he set his alarm for a blistering early 4:00am than someone knocked on the door. By process of elimination, he figured it had to be Daisy before he opened it and saw her standing there.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing," she assured him. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't planning on leaving without saying good-bye in the morning." She looked past him at the suitcase on the bed which was already packed. "I know how you love early mornings."

"I don't actually like getting up early," he admitted. "It's more of a habit."

"Still...Promise me you'll write?"

Deja vu, he thought, and repeated the words he'd told her in an airport parking lot the first time he'd left Hazzard: "I'll try."

She bit her lip nervously and held out his old jersey to him. "I guess you'll want this back."

He shook his head. "That's yours," he told her. "You won it fair and square, remember?"

"It was a good shot, wasn't it?" she teased, hugging it to her chest.

"It was a great shot," he laughed, then nodded at his bed. "I gotta get some sleep. I won't leave without saying goodbye."

The night crept slowly on as Daisy stared out her open window. It was cold now, and it reminded her of the place she had come to know as home. She missed the smell of the snow and the endless static of the waves on the Lake and racing around the hockey rink. She wondered how Joy's doctor appointment had gone and if Pete had asked that girl he'd met after the game on a date, yet.

An owl fluttered across the yard, its wings lit by the moon, hunting for mice along the fence line and she smiled at it's contrast to the seagulls fighting over french fries outside Julie's Cafe like grumpy old men.

God, she prayed, as she closed the window. Someday, please bring me back to Tamarack, again. She climbed under the covers and fell asleep replaying her hockey shot against Enos, only it ended in him kissing her instead of her slicing her hand open.

The clouds came down from the north, bringing winter at last and a dusting of flurries which no one was awake to see.

And time passed...

Daisy's eyes flew open, awake immediately, as she held her breath and listened. The sound came again and she threw off the covers, grabbing in the dark for her robe only to remember that she had put it aside to wash. Instead, she grabbed the jersey and pulled it over her gown to her knees. Trying not to wake anyone else, she opened her door and padded on bare feet across the cold floor towards the guest room, just as Bo and Luke got there. From behind the door came a mumble and a softly strangled sob.

She held her finger up to her lips and shook her head, motioning her cousins to be quiet.

"Is he okay?" whispered Bo. Behind him, Luke shot the door a worried glance.

"He'll be fine," she murmured. "It's just a nightmare. Go back to bed."

For a second, she feared they would insist on going in and waking him up, or at the very least stand there in the hallway nosily observing, but then Luke tapped Bo on the shoulder and they went back to bed.

She waited until their door closed before she opened the one into Enos' room. In the glow from the alarm clock, she could see him roll towards her then roll back, beginning the thrashing that always culminated in him waking with a scream if she didn't stop his dreaming first.

Worried the unfamiliar room might confuse him more, she turned on the closet light and left its door cracked before returning to him. She knelt down beside the bed and rubbed his arm, waking him just enough to break the cycle of the dream. Often, he would stay asleep, and she would sit with him until his breathing fell back into the gentle rhythm of resting. She didn't think he knew how often he had bad dreams, and she had no plans to tell him.

Tonight was different. He woke with a gasp, his eyes darting around the room in weary confusion until they settled on hers. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his sweaty hair.

"Sorry, Daisy."

He always apologized.

"You okay?"

With a groan, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah. I didn't wake anyone else up, did I?"

"You weren't very far into it," she deflected, seeing no sense in embarrassing him.

He scooted over to the far side of the bed, and motioned for her to sit down. Their eyes met before hers traveled down to his right shoulder where a three inch white line curved over his bicep. A 'battle wound', he had called it the first time she'd seen it. Courtesy of some drunk with a broken beer bottle who'd fallen into him while passing out.

He'd laughed at the irony of all his scars being from Tamarack instead of Los Angeles. Daisy figured all his scars from there were on the inside.

Across from her, he sighed again. "You're not as pushy as you used to be," he said. "There was a time you would've hounded me until I told you. Maybe I need that part of you back."

"I really think it would help if you told someone, but it doesn't have to be me."

"No," he murmured, weary. "It has to be you. You should know what you're saving me from." He gathered up the quilt and tossed it to her. "You look cold."

She wrapped it around her shoulders, then snagged his pillow and hugged it to her, resting her chin on it. "Okay. Out with it."

For a long time, he didn't speak as he gathered his thoughts.

"The first time I worked in LA, I was with the Metro Squad," he began. "We weren't a regular unit, in fact they called us a 'test case' to see how well cops from different backgrounds functioned together. You've seen the picture of me and my partner, Turk. We worked everything from petty crime to VICE, but the neighborhoods we patrolled were pretty tame as far as Los Angeles went. When I went back, after I left Hazzard, I worked the Central Division instead of Metro."

He paused, staring into space for a moment, and whether he was thinking of leaving Hazzard or his dream, she wasn't sure.

"Anyway, I joined Central which covered the most dangerous parts of the city. You learn real fast to pay attention and watch your back."

She tightened her grip on his pillow, knowing something very bad was coming.

"The call that came in didn't sound real important, just an abandoned car left on the side of the road down past the 7-11." He looked down where he was wrapping and unwrapping a loose thread from the sheet around his fingers.

"You have to understand," he went on, "the streets around Central were ruled by the cartels. We mopped up what we could, but most of the time it was a losing battle. Except a few weeks earlier, the D.A. had gotten a big break when S.W.A.T. had managed to capture one of the bigger dealers, and he'd turned state's evidence."

She gasped. "But that's good, right?"

"Hmm," he agreed. "Only, we didn't know that the cartel had put a hit out on Central in retribution. My partner and I found the car...but it was a set-up."

"Oh no..."

He shook his head, and in the dim light she could see that his eyes were far away. "There were several men, but to be honest I'm not sure how many. Maybe half a dozen or more, and thinking back I should have just taken out as many as I could before they killed me, I guess, but at the time... Well, anyway, we were outgunned and outnumbered. They disarmed us and handcuffed us, and even then I think we both figured they were just going to beat us and leave us by the car..."

"But they didn't?"

"No, they dragged us out into the middle of the street and made us kneel down, side by side. That's when I realized it wasn't one of the usual street gangs. A couple of minutes later, this silver Mercedes Benz with tinted windows pulls up to the curb, and this guy and his driver get out. The man's wearing a suit that probably cost more than my patrol car. His driver comes over to where me and my partner are, and he pulls out a .357 Magnum and puts the barrel between my eyes."

His voice had grown so quiet that Daisy could barely hear him. She leaned forward.

"Then he starts singing this song...this kid's song... 'Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Catch a tiger by the toe', and with every word, he's switching the gun between my head and my partner's." He swallowed and rubbed his forehead absently. "The song ended with the gun against my head, and I remember being glad because the other guy was only 22 and had just graduated from the Academy and had a wife and two kids. Just a kid himself, really. I shut my eyes and waited...I heard the hammer cock...and then he killed my partner instead."

She didn't know what to say.

"It's always so real, the dream," he confessed. "And I still never hear the shot. My ears were ringing, and I couldn't hear anything, and there was blood..." His eyes found hers. "I thought I was dead, Daisy, honest to God, I did. It should have been me."

"It shouldn't have been either of you," she told him. "Neither of you deserved what happened."

"I reckon," he said, without conviction. "Anyway, that's what happened. Maybe it'll help, now that I've told you."

Daisy didn't know if it was the time or place to give him a hug, so she reached over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. His fingers tighted around hers before letting it go.

"Is that why you went to Tamarack?" she asked.

His eyes studied her face. "If I stayed in Los Angeles, I was gonna get myself killed, whether I wanted to or not," he said. "And wanting to was starting to look pretty good." He looked at the clock which cringed visibly at the numbers which stated it was 3:25am. "You'd better get back to bed, Daisy."

She climbed off the bed and handed him the quilt, still wishing there was something more she could say, but not wanting to push him. "I'm glad you told me."

He nodded and lay the pillow back down beside him. "Thanks for listening."

Daisy woke before Enos did the next morning. It was still dark, but the eastern horizon was smudged with gray and the grass and trees glittered with hoarfrost like frozen diamonds.

Enos appeared just before 5:00, looking like he needed more sleep, and she worried about him driving so many hours in one day.

"I'll stop in Cincinnati," he told her. "That's only about seven hours, and I'll save the longer drive for tomorrow."

She sighed as she watched him haul his suitcase out to the truck and shove it into the back, then went back to her cousins' room and beat on their door. "Hey, you fellas better get up if you wanna say 'bye' to Enos," she called. "He ain't staying much longer."

There was a collection of muffled groans and whining from the other side, and she knocked once more.

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Luke. "Just a minute."

Ten minutes later, the boys and Enos had said their good-byes and she followed him out onto the porch.

"Remember, you promised to write," she told him. "And we have a phone, too. Joy can teach you how to use one of those."

He grinned. "I'll be back in June when Bo and Jill tie the knot," he reminded her. "But I'll call...and write. Try to stay outta trouble."

"Well, that's no fun."

They stared at each other in an uncomfortable silence until Enos took a step forward. "Come here."

He put his arms around her and she hugged him back, trying not to cry, but failing. How was she supposed to make it until June without him?

"It'll be okay," he said, as though hearing her unspoken thoughts.

She cleared her throat as he stepped back and swiped at a tear on her cheek. "Yeah, I guess so."

He turned and walked away, waving one last time before he climbed into his truck and drove away. She watched until his taillights disappeared, and Bo and Luke stepped out onto the porch. Bo put his arm around her and she lay her head on his shoulder.

"I was half expecting you to go back with him," he said. "I hope you ain't staying here just for us."

She shook her head. "I couldn't just go when he didn't ask me to. Maybe I'll visit in the spring."

Daisy sat down on the steps after Bo and Luke went back inside and stared out across the field. It was still and quiet and boring, and she wondered what she was going to do with herself. She'd have to find a real job this time and an apartment, too, unless she wanted to be underfoot when Bo and Jill got married next summer. The thought of sharing the same house with a couple of newlyweds promised to be strange and uncomfortable and, to be honest, she didn't want to think about why. Bo still seemed too young to be getting married.

She pulled her jacket tighter around her shoulders and rested her head on her knees, knowing there were chores to do but feeling like going back to bed. Daydreaming about better times and places, she didn't hear the vehicle turn into the drive until the door shut. Her heart lept when she looked up and saw Enos walking towards the porch, his hands shoved into his pockets. His cheeks were deeply flushed, but she couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or the cold.

"Forget something?"

"Yeah, you know, I got to the turn off for Highway 54 and remembered that I'd plum forgotten to tell you about Whitefish County''s Sheriff Department hiring some temporary help. If you'd be interested, that is... Just until our dispatcher gets back from maternity leave at the end of March. I know it's awfully short notice, but f you'd like to apply, I know the Sheriff and I could put a good word for you."

Daisy surreptitiously pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming, then looked behind her, thinking maybe the boys were playing some trick, but the door was shut. "Is this some sort of joke?" she asked Enos. "I don't think I'm qualified for that."

"No joke, Scout's Honor," he assured her. "And, you actually are qualified. I reckon no one told you that you were a Hazzard County deputy for about a week."

"What!?"

He shrugged. "Mr. Hogg fired you and you needed another job," he explained. "Now, I might have talked you into it, but you passed the certification process with flying colors. You were a great deputy, but Mr. Hogg already had one clean cop, and he didn't want a second, so he rehired you at the Boar's Nest. It did pay better, I reckon."

Obviously there were more chunks of her past missing than she thought, but first things first. "You really mean it?" she asked, cautiously optimistic. "About me coming back to Tamarack?"

"If you want. Only," he looked down at his fidgeting hands. "I'm gonna sleep on the couch, and I want you to take the loft."

"But-"

He looked back up, his face serious. "There's still a killer up there somewhere, Daisy," he reminded her. "I didn't feel good that whole last month about you sleeping downstairs. It's safer this way, and I don't want to hear any more arguments about it. So what'll it be?"

"About what?"

He rolled his eyes. "Are you coming or not? I'm in a hurry."

"Yes!" she cried. "Hold on, I'll grab my stuff."