CHAPTER SEVEN: FUGITIVES IN NEW JERSEY

Stuart Little awoke first. Margalo was still asleep. He went off, relieved himself, and then came back. When he returned, the found the canary stirring. "Where's you go, Stuart?" she asked.
"Do you really want to know the answer to that?"
"Um, I guess not," the canary replied, guessing where he had gone.
"Margalo, does it feel weird, being on the streets and all, to go #1 and #2 out here?" he asked.
"Number 1 and Number 2?" Margalo asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You know, peeing and pooping. I've had to go the first one before, when I went to the Pishkin Building with Snowbell to get you, but thankfully not the second one. Don't think I'll be so lucky on the second one this time."
"Well, I peeoop."
"What?"
"I have a cloaca."
"A what?"
"I, er, let them both out at once. One hole. "
"Well, I learn something new every day. That explains why bird poop always looks so weird."
"Well, it doesn't feel too weird for me, going out on the streets, but, then again, nobody thinks too much of a bird doing it. Though, of course, I try not to do it in public if I can help it."
"Understandable."

"Well, after I go peeoop, I'm going to go take a bath."
"I really should have one too. But don't bother me when I do. I'm going to be naked and would prefer not to bathe around a girl."
"I wonder why you wear clothes. We birds don't."
"I guess you have no fears of people seeing your, er, cloaca."
"It's covered by my tailfeathers. They'd have to be close up to actually see it."
"Well, I have some parts of me I don't want to be seen in public. And nothing natural covers them, hence the clothes."
"Ok, then. Be back after you're done. We need to find some food, since you gave all of the food you packed to rats yesterday."
"You know why I did that. Don't scold me for it."
"I'm not. I'm merely stating a fact. By the way, good move on your part to not use your last name when talking to them. It seems you're learning. The less information you give out about yourself on the street, the better."
"Oh, I wasn't really thinking of that, to tell the truth. I just can't consider myself a Little anymore, after what they did to you."
"Stuart, they're your family, and no matter how angry you are with them right now, they'll always still be your family."
"What would you know about a real family? All you've known is Falcon."
"I can remember bits and pieces of my family when they were still alive. But they were killed by that speeding truck."
"You told me that your mother just left one day and that you lived in a jewelry box."
"All lies. The only true part was that my mother gave me the pin, which you kindly literally gave that rat the shirt off your back to keep in my possession."
"It was nothing. So, anyway, what parts were true?"
Margalo spent the next several minutes telling him about her past, what she could remember about her family and what she'd suffered under Falcon."
"Sorry to hear about your family. They seemed nice. And I'm glad that Falcon's dead after he did all of that to you. I also lost my family when I was little. Too little to remember them. They were killed by falling soup cans when shopping."
"I'm sorry about your parents. And you shouldn't hate the Littles. They did what they thought was best. And they're assuredly missing you now. You can't hate them forever."
"You know what, you're right. If you're willing to forgive them for what they did to you, I certainly have no right to hate them. I was a real jerk to disown them. And, by now, they've, no doubt, seen my letter to George and feel that I hate them and never want to see them again. And, unfortunately, I don't see how I can go back. The police would, no doubt, be watching the house."
"Hopefully, someday, we can find a way for you to return. But right now, I really have to peeoop. And," she sniffed near him, "I insist that you take that bath before coming back to me."

After Margalo had relieved herself and bathed, and Stuart had bathed, he returned to her. "Any idea on where to get food?"
"I've got some ideas. Though, you probably aren't going to like them."
"Why not? I'm pretty hungry and am open to eating a lot of things right now., provided it's not out of a trash can or on the ground. Not that hungry yet."
"Well, I can get decent food, but, since we have no money, there's only one way we can do this."
"Which is?"
"I think we both know the answer to that," the canary sighed.
"Stealing," Stuart groaned.
"Yes. I guess I'm just so used to it by now."
"I'm not. And I hope I never become used to it. But maybe you're right. We're pretty badly off. And maybe, later on, we can find some money and pay them back," he said hopefully.
"I don't see where we can find money, while on the run, but, I agree, if we find a way to pay them back or pay for it ourselves, we should. I don't feel as comfortable stealing anymore now that I don't work for Falcon. It's such a bad habit."

The two snuck toward an A&W. Margalo flew up to the microphone at the drive-thru and placed an order. Stuart ordered meat, but she, mostly eating plants, ordered a vegan meal. The only meat Margalo ate was insects. And they obviously weren't going to serve that here. They weren't on board with Klaus Schwab's agenda of serving bugs to humans, thankfully. "That'll be $11.50. Please pick it up at the window."
"I'll do just that," the canary said smugly. The two waited around for the window to open and a girl to appear, holding the food.
"Hello, anybody there?"
Margalo took flight, carrying Stuart. As the girl held the bag out, still looking around, Stuart seized the bag. It was a bit heavy for him, but he managed. "Thanks. Here to pick it up."
"Hey, get back here!" the girl shouted at the mouse and bird. When Margalo flew out of her sight and reach, she groaned "What they heck!" She decided not to report it to management. They'd never believe her anyway that a mouse and a canary worked together to steal breakfast.

"I hope I don't go to hell for that," Stuart said uneasily.
"I think God's quite forgiving for desperate souls like us, so I'm sure we'll be ok," Margalo replied.
"I hope I don't get sick from eating stolen food,"
"I've done it before. Didn't get sick."
"Good to know."
"Well, you know, you should have thought about food before going on the run with me. It's a grim world out here on the streets. I'm not sure if you've got what it takes to make it."
"I hope I do, as I don't really have much choice in the matter now."
The two ate some of their meal, and kept the bag, to hold leftovers, for Stuart insisted that they try and keep some, so that they wouldn't need to steal food again till dinnertime. The two hopped onto the back of a pickup trick and let it drive them wherever. Thankfully, the driver didn't see them due to their small size. This method of transportation allowed Margalo to rest her wings and Stuart to rest his feet. It also allowed them to talk while they road.
"Margalo, I've been meaning to ask, what's your surname, the one you were born with? Mine, it turns out, was Bianktopo. Italian immigrants. But I was born here, a true-blue American."
"Mine is Juaneoiseau. My family came from Quebec, but I hatched here and am also a true-blue American."
The two talked for hours, heading further south as time went by. The two figured that they might as well get to know each other. They were fast friends. At the moment, they were too young (Stuart 12 and Margalo 13) to have strong romantic feelings for each other yet, though they did clearly have a crush on each other. Still, they figured they might as well get familiar with each other since they were going to be living together for a long while, perhaps even forever. At around 2 PM, Stuart asked Margalo to take him off the truck "Sorry, gotta go #2."
"Yes, it's best we stop. I have to go too."
The two stopped as they approached a public restroom. Margalo used the women's and Stuart used the men's. Truthfully, he wasn't really suited to use public toilets. The Littles had set up everything for him at home so he could do it and the same for school. But in public places, he held it. If he had to go in the car, #1 or #2, he'd just climb into a large cup, and go. He could put the lid on if he wanted privacy. But here, he didn't have it. And so, making sure that nobody was around, he clambered up to a urinal, the closest kind of toilet for him to use, and went both #1 and #2. When he was done, he hoped nobody would be really angry if they used it only to discover what he'd done. If only I could fly like a bird. Then it would leave less of a mess. he thought as he exited the bathroom.

Lacking the truck, Margalo again carried Stuart by herself, and, when she was tired of flying, the two walked. After dark, the two found an Olive Garden. Stuart definitely didn't have enough money for here, but Margalo had an idea. They snuck in a ventilation shaft. Stuart stealthily dropped down into the kitchen. He emitted a mouse squeak once he was in the middle of the room. This allowed him to be noticed by as many cooks as possible. "Mouse!" several people cried in horror. Several of them swung brooms at him. He dodged all the swings and this sometimes led to the people whacking each other instead. All of his efforts had been a diversion. While the people all focused on the icky mouse, none of them noticed the canary sneak in and carry first a basket of breadsticks and then a bowl of salad up to the ventilation tunnel. As the people were closing in on Stuart, Margalo came back down and, seized him with her talons, and took him to safety. They ate their big dinner up there, with the teenagers below looking stupidly around for the mouse and canary. "I wonder if I'm going to go to hell this time," Stuart asked.
"I think we're still good," Margalo reassured him.

It was already close to closing time for the Olive Garden by the time they had snuck in and they stayed till after closing time. Still, they didn't feel quite safe sticking around in the ventilation. Surely animal control would soon start poking around. So, they grabbed the breadstick basket and snuck down with it. They were going to use it as a shelter, as it had begun to rain, meaning that paper coverings wouldn't do this time to protect them from the elements. Still, they had little trouble finding paper to make paper blankets again to rest in. "Goodnight Stuart, great day, huh, even if we had to steal a bit."
"Yeah, great day together with my best friend."
"It's so good to have a friend, a best friend."
"Goodnight Margalo. Sweet dreams."

As the two friends slept in New Jersey, the police in New York, especially after Falcon's report of Margalo's crimes, had been panning footage from surveillance cameras throughout the city. They'd had no success all day. As they were about to leave for the night, however, a camera from the George Washington Bridge gave them a break. It showed the two travelling across the Hudson River to New Jersey the previous night. "So, our perps fled to New Jersey. We'll have to let the police there know about them," said the captain of the NYPD. "This is now officially a cross-state bird and mouse hunt."

Author's Note

Not sure if the whole 'peeoop' thing was appropriate. Birds have a different way of going than mammals such a mice. Also, Snowbell kind of brought up the subject in Stuart Little 2 when he said that he had to go "tinky" (Gee Snowbell, you've been out for about 24 hours and you haven't gone in that time? No wonder you peed yourself!) . And Stuart and Snowbell are same gendered, whereas Stuart and Margalo are opposite gendered, making the situation even more awkward. As for the remarks about clothing and bathing, I was just pointing out how birds like Margalo and Falcon don't seem to be wearing any clothing in Stuart Little 2 while mice like Stuart and the Stouts do wear clothing. Also, unlike with Snowbell and Stuart, same gender, not far trip, the issue with Stuart and Margalo, opposite genders, with a trip that could last weeks, it's going to need to be addressed eventually, so might as well get it out of the way early on, especially as the two probably reek from being in the sewers for hours. And Margalo might not understand, since she's a bird and has always lived with birds, and has a cloaca, about why mammals like Stuart might have "parts" that they want hidden and hence have clothing.

I wasn't meaning to be awkward, either, by having Stuart use the urinal to go #1 and #2, it's just that, well, how does someone his size use the toilet at a public place? I suppose he could get help from Fredrick or George, but here he only has Margalo, a girl, so he's out of luck.

Bianktopo is an abbreviation for Bianaca Topo, or "white mouse" in Italian, whereas Juaneoiseau simply combines the French words for "yellow" and "bird" together.

I also added Stuart asking if he's going to go to hell after each theft, not to be sacrilegious, but to show that Stuart has never really stolen anything before and fears that he's going to be severely punished by divine justice for doing so. In short, it was showing that he had a conscience, rather than that I'm encouraging this sort of behavior.

Also, the A&W scene was a ripoff from The Shaggy Dog, where Wilby, in dog form, went to a burger joint, ordered from the drive-thru, then ran off with the food when the guy was looking around for the human that had ordered, and instead been caught off guard by a dog coming to take it.

Also, I took a jab at the World Economic Forum and their "Let them eat bugs!" agenda by mentioning that Margalo ate insects (canaries do) but that they didn't serve them there at the A&W, so she ordered vegan.

I also brought up the fact that the two are 12 and 13 and thus, though they have a crush on each other, that that's as far as it goes, and that they are too young, thankfully, for us to wonder if, by the end of this story, if they'll still be virgins. (The only time they actually "lost" their virginity in a story of mine was in Stuart Little 4: Finding Margalo, and that was when they were both of age and already husband and wife, and there, it was more "gave away" than "lost". (And that is kind of needed if they want to have children of their own, which they get, having at least four of them by the story's end.)