Happiness is Fickle

Two weeks later Lena was working at her new project at L-Corp, she'd already spent the whole morning on it. It was a special project she had been thinking about for a while. It would essentially stop any pain that was localized, with the help of some pressure points and numbing of the nerves. It would be a difficult project to work on, but this one she was doing for Kara, she would do anything for Kara.

Today was their first appointment with the IVF doctor, Kara was going to meet her at L-Corp and they would go together. After that she had planned a date for them. They would often on dates, never letting the spark douse off.

As always Lena didn't remember to eat lunch, she was too entranced by her project, but around 1:00 pm Kara showed up bringing Lena lunch.

"Hey babe, brought you lunch." Kara rolled inside Lena's office with a brown paper bag in her lap.

Lena jerked her head up at Kara, surprised to see the blond in front of her. "Is that Big Belly Burger?" Her eyes were shining at Kara.

"Yeap, I know you forget to eat, so I had a bit of time and went there before I came here. What do you say, let's eat?" Kara was already setting up the food at Lena's coffee table of Lena's office.

"You know me so well darling, I'm starving." Lena got up from her chair at her desk and headed in Kara's direction. She leaned down and kissed her wife a passionate kiss, passing her arms behind her back and pulling her against her body.

Kara backed away from the kiss to breathe. "Wow, sometimes I forget how much fire you have in you."She looked dopey eyed at Lena.

"I just have to remind you then." The raven-haired woman gave her signature smirk and sat down on the couch facing her wife.

The two ate their lunches while telling each other about their days. Kara had been to physical therapy that morning, and was telling Lena that it had went well, she had then gone with Winn to play tennis, it had been a while since she had.

"It was kind hard, I'm not used to doing that anymore, pushing the chair and using the racket at the same time is what got me. But I think if I continue to go more I can get a handle on that. It was good to see Winn though. We need to arrange a game night soon. I miss our friends." Kara had finished her burgers and was already cleaning up everything.

"Well darling, I am pretty sure you can do this if you put your mind to it. You're literally an Olympic champion so I don't think that using the racket is really a problem for you. You just have to be more awesome now." Lena winked to Kara as she finished her burger.

"It's not the same Lee, you know that. Of course I know how to play, it's in my blood I think. But it's different now, I don't have the same control." Kara's shoulder slumped and her eyes were glued to her shoes, as if dreaming of what it would be like if things had been different.

Lena scooched closer to Kara, she lifted the blonde's chin so she would look at her. "Hey, look at me. I know it's not the same, but for me you're always gone be Kara, just Kara. Doesn't matter what happened or not, you're my hero, you'll always be. Everyone changes Kara, no one stays the same, sometimes things a lot and sometimes not so much. But we all evolve one way or another, so you the one that is looking at me right now would never be the same one who dazzled me that day in Paris." As Lena finished her speech to Kara a single tear made its way through Kara's cheeks.

The blonde woman had a longing look on her eyes. But there was love on those blue ocean eyes. She loved Lena, she loved the way Lena made her feel special and wanted.

"Thank you Lee. I love you so much." Kara leaned in Lena arms and rested her head on the crook of her neck. She just stayed there until Lena broke their embrace to look at her.

"So, what do you say that we go get ourselves a little bean of joy for us? I think it's time for appointment." Lena said as she got up on her feet to throw the trash away.

Kara cleared her throat and followed Lena with her eyes. "I think it's about time we get one for ourselves. I can't wait to hold our little nugget."

"Let's go then."

Kara and Lena left L-Corp to go see Doctor Rea Fields, specialist in IVF treatment.

Xxx

"No Sam, I can't go there, she is this tennis Goddess, look at her, those blonde curls, that tanned skin and those "abs" Sam, oh my God those abs, she is like everything I dreamed about and more, and people say she is the kindest person. At least on her interviews it does seem like she is very kind, she is always patient with the journalists. I mean who wouldn't want to be with her." Lena couldn't keep her eyes from the blonde.

Sam and Lena were sitting at the bar at Kara's championship party, they had crashed it because Lena had some contacts that had arranged it for her. She had been obsessed with the tennis player for quite some time now. It had developed into a crush and today was the day she had finally gotten to be in the same place that the blonde also was.

Sam was laughing so hard at what Lena was saying that Lena had to elbow her. "Hey! Watch it! You're practically drooling over there Lena, just go there and introduce yourself. You're gorgeous Lena, I'm sure she will find you irresistible too."

Across the room at the end of the bar Kara and Alex were talking about Kara's next trips, and how Eliza had been missing her.

"I know Alex, but there is only one more major tournament this year. I don't want to lose focus by going home. I'll call Eliza tomorrow okay? Now I just want to relax and enjoy my win." Kara gave Alex a wink.

"Oh my God Kara, I don't even want to know please. Just don't reckless okay? And don't forget to call mom, really she misses you." Alex noticed Kara was looking elsewhere, not paying attention to what she was saying.

"What?... Where? Are you listening Kar?" Alex turned around to look at where Kara couldn't take her eyes away and realized why her sister was looking hypnotized. There was a gorgeous brunette with green eyes beside another good looking woman and they were talking.

"Oh I see why you're so distracted now." Alex swung her arm in front of Kara's face to get the blonde's attention.

"What Alex?" Kara looked displeased at her sister. "Can't I at least appreciate the view from here without you bothering me?" Kara huffed.

There was a green eyed goddess in the room, she was the most beautiful person Kara had ever seen. She couldn't take her eyes away from her. 'Who was this woman? Where is she from?' Kara thought to herself. She had to talk to her.

Xxx

Lena and Kara entered the IVF clinic together, they were on the waiting room of the Doctor's office waiting to be called in.

"I'm kind of nervous Lee, what if they can't use the eggs I'd had frozen? It was so long ago." Kara was impatient In front of Lena. Inside her head there were only thoughts in which something was going to keep them from having a child and that it would be her fault.

"Hey calm down. There is no problem with that Kara, it actually was a good thing you had them frozen. It'll be fine darling, just come here, give me your hand." Lena pulled Kara's hands into her own.

"Now, we will listen to what the doctor has to say and then we can think of all these possibilities, because there is no need for this if there's no problem. Agreed?" She was gazing deep inside blue ocean eyes, trying to reassure her wife's fears.

"Agreed." Kara was calmer now. So they both waited to called.

"Miss Kara and Miss Lena Danvers-Luthor please come in." The doctor's assistant called them in.

Inside the office of Doctor Rea Fields was much like Lena's office, all white furniture, modern finishes and a glass table that the doctor sat behind.

"Please take a seat." Doctor Rea motioned to the seats in front of her table.

Lena pulled a chair for her and moved away the other one for so that Kara could be at her side.

"Thank you." Both women said at the same time. Kara put her chair right beside Lena.

"Please tell me about yourselves and what you are looking for by coming here." Doctor Rea started.

"Well, we are married and we think that is time to have a child of our own together, so that's why we are here. We can't exactly do that by ourselves." Kara said as she pulled a laugh from both women in the room.

"I see. And who would be carrying the baby?" Doctor Rea asked.

"That would be me actually. Kara can't carry a baby, she had an accident a few years ago and her uterus had to be taken out. But she had had her eggs frozen before that. So we were hoping one of her eggs could be implanted in me." Lena finished and looked to her wife at her side, squeezing her hand while she talked.

"Well, I do have to tell you that this is not an easy process and that we may need more than one attempt to be successful. Before that though we need to test those eggs to see if they are viable. And you will need to go through some tests to determine if everything is alright for you to carry the baby."

The doctor continue to talk about all the steps they would need to go through, specially the hormones, the tests she would need to have, the costs and everything the IVF procedure would entangle.

"Thank you Doctor Fields, you really eased my worries." Lena said as she stood up to shake the Doctor's hands.

"You're welcome, I'm here exactly for that. I'll see you two for our next appointment." Doctor Rea said as she leaned down to shake Kara's hand.

"Goodbye doctor Fields and thank you." Kara said as she and Lena left the doctor's office.

Outside the clinic Kara and Lena stopped and looked at each other.

"So how are you feeling now Kar?" Lena looked down to Kara's eyes.

"I feel better Lee, I think everything she said calmed me. It is a hard process, but I think we can do it together, and you? Do you still want to go ahead with this?" Kara had to be sure her wife wanted to do this, she wasn't going to force into it.

"I liked her, she seemed like she really knew what she was talking about and that really helped me be sure of this. I want it Kara, and it will change our lives, but I'm sure it will be for the better." She leaned down and kissed the top of the blonde's head.

"Good, now let's go, I really want to have a date with the most beautifully woman on the planet." Kara said and her eyes shined to her wife.

"I do too darling." They left the clinic and took their car to go to their date night.

Xxx

Kara and Lena went to the cinema. They wanted to watch the new Charlie's Angels movie before going to the restaurant. They both had a crush on Kristen Stewart.

They were on the line to buy the tickets when Lena noticed Kara had a weird look on her eyes.

"Darling are you okay?" Lena kneeled down to be able to look at Kara's eye level.

Kara didn't answer. She just starred at the wall, eyes dull, expressionless.

"Kar, answer me please." Lena was shaking Kara now.

It had passed a few minutes and Kara hadn't talked yet.

"Kara, I'm getting worried, please say something darling." Lena was swinging her hands in front of Kara to get her attention.

"Han?" Kara said after a few minutes, her eyes still dull looking.

"Are you okay Kara?" Lena was worried, Kara didn't look alright.

"Lee…what?" Kara was confused.

"Kara, look at me, what happened?" Lena was holding Kara's hands which were cold, almost freezing, and Kara was always warm.

"Don't know… what?" Kara was clearly confused, Lena didn't know what was happening.

"Kara you were starring at the wall for so long without saying anything. I tried talking to you and you didn't answer me." Lena was nervous now.

"Don't know Lee, I'm fine though." Kara's mind was a little fuzzy, but she felt fine.

"Are you really? You don't look fine Kara."

"I am Lee, don't worry. It was nothing. I was just day dreaming probably." Lena still looked worried, but conceded. If Kara felt fine then it was okay.

"Alright, so let's buy those tickets then."

"Okay." Kara was still a little out of it.

Lena pushed her chair to the counter, something Kara usually didn't like other's to do for her. Not that she didn't like that Lena helped her, it was just that she wanted to do things on her own after spending too much time depending on others.

Lena bought their tickets and they entered the theater. Lena had chosen their seats near the end of the aisle so they could leave Kara's chair beside the seat. Lena helped Kara transfer to the theater seat. It was a little bit harder for Kara to do it alone because of the arm of the theater chair. Moreover, she was still a little slow and wasn't really paying attention to what was happening.

"Hey Kar, are you comfortable?" Lena was worried for Kara, she didn't look okay.

"Yeah, thank Lee." She looked into Lena's eyes and after a few moments said. "Do you have any candies there? Forget to buy them." Kara was at least hungry, that was a sign for Lena that at least something was right with her wife.

"Yeah darling, but just this gummies. We are going to that restaurant you like after. So it might be better to wait okay?" Lena handed Kara the bag of gummies.

"Okay, this is fine thanks."Lena was observing Kara open the bag as if she was in slow motion.

Lena made a mental note to take Kara to her doctor soon. This was not normal.

The movie started and Kara seemed better. She laughed at the jokes and the color appeared to return to her eyes. She was more alert than before, so Lena relaxed and enjoyed the movie.

The movie ended and they left the cinema to go the restaurant.

Xxx

Lena and Kara were seated at the corner table at Kara's favorite Italian restaurant. Kara had ordered spaghetti bolognese and Lena had ordered chicken ravioli with pesto.

"Did you like it the movie Lee? I mean I loved it, K-Stew rocked it." Kara was excited because of the movie, she had enjoyed more than she'd imagined it.

"Yeah, I liked it. Much better than I had thought it would be. Very entertaining and very gay too." They both cracked a loud laugh.

"She is very hot, and very gay, I agree." Kara said as she looked at Lena's eyes, totally in love with those eyes.

"Hey, I thought I was the only hot one on your eyes." Lena teased Kara.

"Babe, you defiantly are the hottest woman alive, I have no doubt about it, you don't have to be jealous. I only have eyes for you. I was merely stating a fact, nothing more." Kara said in a husky voice, low tone, so that Lena would see it was just an observation.

"I know darling. But I have to disagree you are the hottest woman alive. I do recall a magazine a few years ago even said so. I still have that cover at home, I can show you." Kara's face blushed. She had been named hottest woman alive by People Magazine, six years before.

"Ah that thing. Thank god you're the only one that remembers that. I was so embarrassed when that issue came out." Kara cheeks were still flushed and Lena reached her hand to cup Kara's cheeks.

"I'll never forget darling. For me you are the most amazing woman always. I love you so much." Lena leaned across the table to reach Kara's lips, but they were too far apart, so Kara used her arms to push herself up to meet Lena's lips. "I love you too Lee. So so much."

As their lips met their food arrived at the table and they were a little embarrassed.

They talked while they ate, discussing the IVF treatment and the tests Lena would have to go through. Doctor Fields had already scheduled three appointments for her the next week.

Kara had already finished her meal while Lena took her time with her pasta, as always, Kara ate very fast.

"I was thinking Lee, that maybe we should move to a house before the baby, a child should have space to play, don't you think?" Kara didn't know if Lena would like that idea.

"I don't know Kar, our apartment is very big, and we would need to have renovations to make it our own, you know that. Our apartment is just perfect for us." Lena didn't want to say it, to not hurt Kara, but any place they move would need to be fit to her and that could take a lot of time and it would be a big project at the same time as her pregnancy would be challenging.

"I know honey, and I know why you're saying this. But I could be in charge of that, you wouldn't have to lift a finger. I promise… I … " Kara was in the middle of her sentence when she just stopped talking and her arms fell to her side.

"Kar?" Lena was startled.

Kara's body just collapsed on the floor tipping her chair. Lena watched as if it was slow motion. Kara's head tipped and took her body with it. Lena jumped, terrified for her wife.

Kara's body began to shake, her mouth started to foam, her legs were still attached to her chair and it was causing the table to rattle. Her legs were the only part of her that weren't shaking, but as her body shook everything she touched shook too.

Lena realized Kara was having a seizure. It had been a good few years since she had one. She was on her side in a second, putting her folded coat under Kara's head, releasing her legs from the chair, tilting Kara's body on its side and getting everything away from her, so she wouldn't get hurt. She could only wait now.

The waiter approached her to ask what was happening, Lena could barely look away from Kara, but she managed to say that it was just a seizure, which Kara had sporadically, and they just had to wait. That was when she remembered she had to time the duration. If it lasted more than five minutes they would need to get her to the hospital. It couldn't have passed more than two minutes by that point.

She reached for her phone that was on the table and stood by Kara's side, just waiting to able to hold her wife in her arms. Lena was so scared for Kara she couldn't hold her tears of despair.

Lena watched as Kara's hands and arms were rigid, her fingers stiff, her whole body contorting. Kara's eyes were rolled up behind her eyelids, but suddenly it all stopped and her eyes closed. Her body laid limp on the restaurant's floor.

Lena immediately pulled Kara into her arms, holding her head on her lap, making sure she was fine. "It's going to be alright darling. It'll be alright." She whispered on Kara's ears.

"I have got you. You're okay. I'm here." Lena murmured to Kara as she took a peak at the timer. It had passed only three minutes, although it felt like an eternity.

She called the waiter and asked for the check. Her hurried and brought it over to her. She paid for everything without dropping Kara. She asked him to help her get Kara's chair into the car, and he helped her with the chair and getting Kara inside the vehicle.

"Thank you so much for your help." Lena said as she pulled away from the parking lot.

Kara laid on the backseat of the car, she looked peacefully sleeping so Lena drove carefully to not make Kara's body fall.

They got home in ten minutes, Lena carried Kara to their bedroom, leaving the chair in the car, she would pick it up later. It was difficult to open the door with Kara in her arms, but she managed to put the key on the lock somehow.

Lena changed Kara's clothes and laid her on their bed, pulling the covers over her. She rushed to her medicine cabinet to look for her anti seizure pills. Maybe Kara had forgotten to take them.

Lena looked for it everywhere, but she couldn't find it. And then it her, Kara had stopped taking them, or maybe forgot to buy them. They could talk in the morning. Now Kara needed to rest. So did Lena, but she wouldn't be able to close eyes tonight. How could she rest with Kara having seizures like that. She needed to make sure her wife was okay.

Lena didn't notice that she was sobbing now, Kara made some noises beside her, so she covered her mouth with her hand, trying to choke out the sound.

Lena took Kara's hand in her's and held it to her heart. She fell asleep holding it and looking to her wife.