Exodus

By EDelta88

A Rude Awakening

Yuki no Kuni, A.S. 1113

"Sasuke? Kakashi-Sensei? Have you seen Naruto? She's not in her…" Sakura's voice trailed off as she caught sight of a blonde head of hair lying next to Sasuke.

What?

Sakura blinked several times, but the scene didn't change. She rubbed her eyes thinking sleep might be making her see things, but the scene did not change. She tried canceling the genjutsu, but the scene did not change.

Naruto shifted restlessly in her sleep, releasing an almost unnoticeable sound of discontent.

In response, Sasuke rolled toward her, pulling her closer until he lay half on top of her.

Naruto sighed, relaxing as she tucked her head underneath Sasuke's chin.

Sakura stared at the scene, frozen stiff by the simple intimacy between her teammates. They seemed so familiar, so at ease. Like they'd…

Like they'd done this before.

Like they'd done this many times before.

"Oh," she breathed, feeling like someone had sucker punched her in the gut.

The sight and the tangled web of realizations it invoked was such that Sakura never even noticed as Kakashi returned, giving a resigned sigh as he followed her gaze. "Let them sleep," Kakashi-sensei murmured, pulling her away.

Sakura nodded numbly as she let her teacher steer her away from the scene.

"Here," Kakashi-sensei whispered, pressing a mug of steaming tea into her hands.

Sakura blinked, staring down at the molded clay in surprise as she came back to reality. She blinked again, concentrating on the way the heat from the tea seeped into her fingers and traveled up her arms, letting it ground her.

Where… she was in her room again.

When had Sensei made tea?

Why as she even…

Naruto's head of sunny blonde hair tucked under Sasuke's chin as his pale fingers tangled in her hair, pressing her closer…

Right… that.

Sakura took a cautious sip of the tea, swallowing past the lump that had formed in her throat.

She'd never seen either of them so… relaxed. They had almost looked like something out of a faerie tale from one of the books her mother used to read to her when she was young. If she replaced the cheap hotel room with something more opulent, it wouldn't be hard to imagine them as a prince and his princess resting after some grand adventure.

Something inside Sakura cracked, falling into sharp, painful pieces even as the memory of the peaceful sight inspired something warm and wonderful in her chest.

"It will only keep hurting if you hold it in," Kakashi-sensei murmured as he nursed his own cup of tea.

Tears welled in Sakura's eyes as images of Sasuke's carefully guarded expression flashed in her mind's eye. He was always alert, always aware, always… distant. Then there was Naruto and her wooden smiles. Naruto and the way she would scowl in her sleep, tossing and turning restlessly, ready to wake at a moment's notice…

Sasuke smiling contentedly in his sleep, his arms wrapped around Naruto as she snored softly, sounding like a purring cat as she lay against him like it was the most natural thing in the world…

They never looked like that with her.

"I never even had a chance, did I?" Sakura croaked, her voice strained and fragile as she stared into her empty mug.

When had she finished her tea?

"Hmm, probably not," Kakashi replied gently, prying the mug from her stiff fingers and placing it out of sight. "Not with someone like Naruto around. If she wasn't? In a few years, once Sasuke had time to calm down and you had time to grow? Who knows."

"But she is here," Sakura replied, rubbing her eyes and scrubbing her face.

"She is," Kakashi agreed. "What she and Sasuke have been through? What they've survived? It makes them too similar. It allows them to understand each other in a way that… well, I hope you never understand. Especially in times like these, it's easy for them to just fall together, like puzzle pieces."

"I could have healed him," Sakura murmured, miserably.

Kakashi-sensei smiled sadly at her. "That's not your job," he told her, his tone gentle but firm.

"But-" Sakura protested only for Kakashi to cut her off.

"I have no doubt that you could," Kakashi assured her. "But you shouldn't have to. That's what therapists are for. Not partners. Partners support each other, but that kind of responsibility, that expectation can too easily turn toxic. Besides, you would have to work to understand them. You would have to get them to open up, to explain. You would always be at a disadvantage, always… a replacement or a substitute. Even if Naruto had been born a boy and they weren't romantically involved, you would never be as close to either of them as they would be to each other and you deserve better than that."

Sakura blinked owlishly up at Kakashi-sensei.

She deserved… better than Sasuke?

"I don't understand," Sakura mumbled. Sasuke was the best. Sasuke was the smartest, the strongest, the richest, the most handsome. She could remember when he was a kind soul and imagine him being that boy again. How could there be someone better?

The barest frown creased Kakashi's brow. "Power imbalances, any kind of power imbalance, cause problems in a relationship," he explained thoughtfully. "The most obvious example is that you will never be the sort of combat-ready ninja that Naruto and Sasuke are going to be. They are built, bred for open combat while you have all the hallmarks of precision work. You aren't deficient, just different, but that means that you will always be off to the side, applying your talents where you are most effective while they dive into the thick of things."

Sakura nodded slowly, processing that. She might be talented, but Sasuke and Naruto were singularities of hundreds of years of evolutionary pressure on some of the strongest ninja clans in history. They would always have an edge on her.

"The same applies to their mental health," Kakashi continued. "You will always be just a little out of sync with them because they are wired differently. You barely even think about where your next meal will come from, but Naruto prioritizes food and hoards supplies. You've made fun of her on more than one occasion for how she hunts and scrounges when we are on missions even though we carry plenty of rations, remember?"

Sakura blinked, thinking back. Then nodded. It was so weird the way the other girl always insisted on finding food all the time! It was always the first thing she did when they got to a new town and when they were out in the wilds she would find the most strange and disgusting things to eat.

"Naruto… To put it mildly, she isn't well-liked by most of the village," Kakashi told her. "It got better after the Sandaime found out and intervened, but the problem didn't go away. If they think they can get away with it, most of the merchants still won't sell to her or they overcharge her out of spite. The first ninja skills she ever learned were how to hunt, fish, and forage. Because if she didn't? She had to go without."

Sakura's eyes went wide with horror. That sounded… how could anyone do that?! Sure, Naruto could be annoying, but refusing to sell her food? That was just wrong!

Kakashi pointed a finger at her. "That," he told her. "That feeling right there. That disconnect between the life you know and what is just normal for Naruto. That is what I'm talking about."

Sakura blinked at him. Then the pieces slotted into place. "Oh…" she breathed like the wind had been knocked out of her. "But, um, Sasuke's not like that?"

Sasuke had grown up with a family. Sasuke didn't eat bugs and roots and charred fish when they had perfectly good rice or dried fruit.

Sasuke was normal.

...Wasn't he?

"Isn't he?" Kakashi challenged, quirking a brow at her. "Sasuke may not hoard food, but he's no less damaged. In fact, in some ways, he's worse off than Naruto."

Sakura scowled thoughtfully. How could Sasuke's situation be worse? Sure, he'd lost his family, but he was intelligent, talented, rich, well-liked by the people, and valued by the village for his heritage while Naruto was, apparently, an almost universally hated war orphan to the point that she had learned ninja skills just to feed herself.

How could Sasuke be worse off than that?

"Good, now you're thinking," Kakashi complimented as he watched the micro expressions flitting across her face. "Consider this, Naruto? Naruto has nothing to compare her situation to. She knows that other people have things that she doesn't, but because she has never had those things, she can't feel the full scope of their absence."

Sakura's eyes went wide in understanding as her teacher spoke. Naruto might miss the family she never had… but Sasuke had grown up with his family and knew that he would never get them back.

Oh…

Oh, poor Sasuke.

"Of the four of us, you're the lucky one, Sakura," Kakashi told her. "You treat your relationships carelessly because they have always been safe and stable, but Sasuke? What happened with his family created a vicious dichotomy. While he craves attachment because he's had a family and wants it back, he also knows what if feels like to lose that. He fears the pain of losing those bonds more than anything. Worse, he knows that losing people he cares for is a very real possibility because we live in a breathtakingly dangerous profession and he is in a position where people targeting his loved ones in order to get to him is a very real possibility."

"And because Naruto's so strong (and she's going to be stronger) she's… safer. She'll be able to protect herself if Sasuke's enemies come after her to get to him?" Sakura asked, trying to clarify the situation.

Kakashi-sensei nodded.

"And even though she's different, Naruto can understand why he feels that way because her feelings are similar," Sakura reasoned, her eyes narrowed in thought. Naruto may not have lost her family the same way Sasuke had, but she felt their absence and would value new bonds in a way that would be similar enough to Sasuke to make logical leaps easier. Additionally, both of their situations left them isolated from others and without the support a family provided. Sasuke might have had ninjutsu tutors but neither he or Naruto would have had someone to just… talk to. Not the way Sakura did. Hell, she couldn't even see one of them like this; just sitting with Kakashi-sensei, having tea, and talking about things like feelings. Sasuke and Naruto just didn't do that. "And… I would have to have a talk like this every time something similar came up," she concluded.

Kakashi-sensei nodded again.

"And if I hadn't dealt with a similar situation already, I'd probably stumble into problems all the time by just being me and expecting Sasuke to react like someone… normal," Sakura thought aloud, visibly upset but determined to follow this to its logical conclusion. "Then I'd get upset when he doesn't act the way I'd expect him to and he'd be upset because of… everything. We'd just keep hurting each other without meaning to until we couldn't stand the sight of each other."

"A bit extreme," Kakashi mused, "but more or less correct."

"Whoever said that opposites attract is a dirty fucking liar," Sakura muttered venomously.

Kakashi snorted in amusement. "Nah, opposites do attract," he argued. "The problem is that their compatibility is hit or miss and can backfire spectacularly. Similar people, on the other hand, might not be as exciting but they have a lot of common ground to stand on. Makes them more stable."

Sakura gave a thoughtful frown, staring off into space. "Can you really call it stable if Naruto and Sasuke are both crazy?"

Kakashi spat out the tea he had snuck while Sakura wasn't looking as he laughed.