The hearty smell of bacon hung in her nose. Toast piled up in mountains on the tables. Whispers filled the Great Hall. Most of the students had settled within these walls in the first week and by now Luna too knew a corridor or two that led her to her lessons.
There was something sleepy about the Saturday silence, uninterrupted by teachers and upcoming lessons. It was the first weekend at Hogwarts. The week's homework that piled up on Luna's bedside table was so little that some first years slept through half the day. It was a sluggish start for the castle's new arrivals, and yet no one dared disturb the peace between the fronts.
Half in thought, Luna shoved a piece of toast into her mouth, trying to follow the strange taste of jam combined with chocolate spread.
For the first time since she had been at Hogwarts, she had slept well. No Guardian had wanted to tell her a story and the certainty that a few of the dreams had to be more real than thought hadn't been subject to renewed questions at any moment. Instead, the night before last still haunted her mind; the little adventure with Ginny that she would have liked to relive. But on a day off, the castle took priority.
Hogwarts had to hold secrets like no other school. Every stone had a story to tell. Maybe even Myrtle knew something about it – long before death had embraced her.
"Luna?"
As a hand placed itself on the Ravenclaw's shoulder, the musings burst into bubbles, making her look hastily behind. What met her eyes was Ginny's red hair. A moment later, she let herself be spellbound by the gleam in the Gryffindor's eyes.
"Ginny." Luna's words were more statement than greeting before she realised her mistake and set the circumstances right. "Good morning."
"Good morning. But more importantly," without further ado, Ginny sat down at the Ravenclaw table, "Hermione's here."
Her attempt to look discreetly at the second year failed in the same breath as Hermione released her gaze from a heavy book on the table and raised her brows. Her bouffant brown hair reached a good bit past her shoulders and Luna thought she detected a magical shimmer between her strands that made them sporadically golden.
"She ... noticed us ..." Ginny's lips thinned a little before she slowly shifted her gaze in Luna's direction and snorted. "So we can go there, or we can scare her away with our questioning looks. At least I know from Ron that she doesn't like people staring at her."
"I don't think anyone likes to be stared at. It feels like you want to say something and you don't," Luna replied.
"So let's go." Determined, Ginny rose to her feet again, and it was only in those seconds that Luna noticed the book she was still holding close to her chest; almost as if she had spent the entire night in that position.
Wordlessly, the Ravenclaw followed Ginny's prompting, allowing herself to be led straight to the Gryffindors' table, where Hermione's attention was growing by the minute. Her piercing gaze, though seated, seemed to look down on them both and the fact she was sitting there alone put her in the light of a forgotten book no one wanted to take care of. A little lonely and yet full of knowledge.
Next to Hermione Granger, Ginny paused and Luna looked for a spot close, but not next to her friend.
"Yes?" Hermione had no greeting to spare. Instead, she shook her head slightly and let her brows move a little higher, causing Luna to follow them with excitement. The pointed undertone in her question faded somewhere in the back of her mind.
"Uh... Hi." Ginny's shoulders tightened. "I heard from my brother you were the smartest girl in Gryffindor, so I thought you might be able to help me with a question."
"And you are?"
"Ginny Weasley. This is my first year at Hogwarts."
For a moment, Hermione's features softened, as if she understood what it was like not to feel at home in your first year. But it barely lasted a blink before she turned up her nose and sat unapproachable in front of them. "If it's not much, maybe I can help with a question or two. Is it homework in Transfiguration? Potions?"
"Neither." At last the book detached from Ginny's chest and was reached out to Hermione. "I was wondering if you might be able to read this book. I'm afraid it's a language I don't understand and ... well ..."
With pointed fingers, Hermione accepted the book, careful not to risk too much physical contact. Then she opened it in the middle and glanced inside. The lines immediately drew her in, while her eyes darted over the pages and she turned the pages now and then. But what followed was her shaking head.
"I can't read it either, but I know it's written in Latin." She closed the book. "I could translate it, though, if you need."
Curiosity stifled any pointed tone or spark of haughtiness in Hermione's voice. What remained was a girl whose thirst for knowledge was greater than anything hiding behind her existence. Part of her was ready to go on a journey. The rest sat rooted to this bench, waiting for something to change.
Luna eyed her, met brown eyes whose gleam seemed to dance in the darkness behind them. She lived a different loneliness than Luna knew.
"You would do that?" Ginny's excitement washed all sensations aside. What remained was the mere image of two girls into which Luna didn't quite fit, and yet in which she stood waiting for something she herself didn't know what it was supposed to be. An affirmation? A helping hand? An answer?
"On one condition, though." Slowly, Hermione put the book aside. "I want to know where you got the book and what you hope to gain from it. I don't want to get in trouble for breaking the school rules if you broke them. My stay is spotless and I don't want to risk that."
Briefly, Ginny glanced at Luna. A sign that words were lacking, so the Ravenclaw took the lead. "The book comes from the Restricted Section."
Hermione's eyes widened as the Gryffindor beside her let out a restrained squeak, as if Luna had turned a goblet into a cockroach. But Hermione seemed like a girl who saw through bad lies quickly. Being honest was the only method Luna could offer her.
"Rowan White is my roommate. And now that she's gone, I want to help her." Luna's gaze fell on the book that lingered motionless on the table. "I'm looking for a spell that can lift a curse. A spell that can free someone from an object."
"You do realise you've probably broken almost four school rules, don't you?" Conspiratorially, Hermione leaned towards the two girls, letting her gaze slide from one to the other. It was a quiet, oddly tense moment that made Ginny pale around the nose. She seemed to love adventure and yet, when curiosity didn't get the better of her, to shy away from the consequences.
Hermione was in the perfect position to get them both into trouble. Everything hinged on her decision, on those shining brown eyes that were no less fascinated by it all than anyone else who went seeking.
"I'll do it." Hermione's reply was nothing more than a hasty whisper before she rose and straightened her clothes. Then she grabbed the book and took her stance. "But it will be a while before I can say anything, and I can't promise it will be of any use."
"Thank you, Hermione!" Ginny's joy spilled over as she grabbed the Gryffindor's hands and shook them vigorously, nearly sending the book sliding to the floor. Hermione managed to break away just in time to catch the cover in flight. The relieved sigh on both girls' lips was the first understanding they shared.
"I'm ... going to look closer at this," Hermione began again. This time, she pressed the book tightly to her chest before pushing past the girls and heading quickly for the exit.
Luna watched her go, unable to say anything. Instead, she eyed Hermione's shadow, following the jumpy movements – the curiosity trailed by little Luvipopeo. Creatures that collected lost feelings and guarded them until one was ready to take them back inside.
They were so small they could barely be seen with the naked eye, and yet Luna was sure she could clearly spot the fluffy white moth bodies with their orange little horns.
"I'm kind of excited already." Ginny, who had taken her place next to Luna, was glued to the same image the young Ravenclaw had been attached to. "Aren't you?"
Barely noticeably, Luna shook her head. "Not excited, but hopeful."
Silence reigned between them for a few blinks. It took an eternity for Ginny to take a breath and turn away from the doorway. "I think I'll start the rest of my homework. Professor Snape is creepy and I don't want to know what happens if I forget them. What about you?"
Luna's thoughts circled. "I think I'm going to look for magical creatures."
The corners of Ginny's mouth twisted, almost as if she had to put the desire to come along out of her mind. Eventually Snape won the day as she swallowed and put on a thin smile. "If you find anything, be sure to let me know."
Luna didn't manage more than a barely perceptible nod, which her friend – could she even call Ginny Weasley a friend? – took as completion of her task, and with light steps, also headed for the exit of the Great Hall. The young Ravenclaw's eyes followed her for a moment before she too retreated and once more found a seat at her house's table, where silence prevailed.
"Are you sure giving the book to Hermione Granger was the best decision?" Laima, stretching her black mop of hair barely noticeably from Luna's breast pocket, addressed the young witch with a whisper.
"She's smart," Luna countered, before adjusting the light fabric of her too-big blue overalls, trying not to catch any of the two hundred stitched-on sunflowers. No one but her was wearing colourful clothes this weekend and although she stood out, hardly anyone paid her any more attention than usual. Maybe it was because of the orange and brown ringed jumper she showed off under the bright straps, putting the others off.
"That's not the problem." Wincing, the sylph lowered her head. "She's a witch who has absolutely nothing to do with your search, and she's no Ginny Weasley who offered herself as a shadow and now wants to take this journey with you. Hermione Granger is a perfectly normal witch. She is, like almost everyone else here." Suddenly, Laima's green eyes seemed to pierce her. "You need to be careful how you go about it, Luna. You can't treat everyone the same."
"So I can't make more friends?" Her shoulders slumped. The strange tightness inside wasn't unfamiliar, and yet it seemed truly present for the first time in years. Spending time with Ginny was fun. Looking for solutions together brought a lot more joy than savouring the magic of this world alone.
Perhaps that was why she had spent most of her childhood with her mother between experiments and notes, even if she had been able to contribute next to nothing.
"I didn't say that!" Laima called her back into the conversation. "I'm just saying that when you make friends, you can't bring everyone near your seeking. You need to think of the consequences for you. If you tell anyone who isn't part of it what you're doing, you can never go on another search."
Luna's gaze wandered over the table, over the toast, and also over the students who were part of Ravenclaw. Everyone lingered in their own world and hardly anyone looked up from their food or notes.
Amidst all the silence, Laima's words hit her like the advice of a worried friend and even if the sylph's gaze remained stern, it was probably precisely this worry that was the reason she kept warning about the same things. Rules between which there were such narrow paths that in some hours it seemed strange to even want to walk on them. Still, the young witch brought a nod over herself before grabbing a piece of toast.
"If it's too dangerous to ask other students, then ... why don't I ask the guardians?"
"Absolutely. Not." Without further ado, Laima crossed her arms. "You know you're not allowed to a question aside from the important ones. It might make them keep you on the other side."
Danger. Again, something she had been warned about and had to get used to in slow steps. Being a seeker hadn't been lying on her shoulders for very long. In a few months, she would be ready, maybe. But these days, the first leaps towards her dream, remained bumpy.
Still, the guardians were the only beings who gave her things she might be able to do something with. Perhaps not with the doll anymore, nor with the object she had never seen, but one of those still to come had to help. After all, everything had enough magic in it to change the world, and Luna was the heroine of this story. A girl who jumped through worlds a little.
Once more her attention slid to the sylph, still looking up at her from the pocket. For a moment, their eyes met, but remained silent until Luna turned her attention to her breakfast. If her mind would only drift far enough, there was nothing Laima could do. She would meet a guardian and ask him for a hint – for something other than the predetermined questions.
"Then I'll let you have breakfast." Without further ado, the sylph climbed out of her chest pocket. "There are still a few corners of the castle I need to scan to declare a suitable location for our hideout."
"Good luck," Luna hummed. It was a barely audible moment that Laima used to fly unseen under the table.
Immediately afterwards, Luna's thoughts drifted off again. Her eyes fixed somewhere on the opposite wall, clinging to the cracks in the brickwork and letting her mind wander carefully around the room. Unsteady ideas fell upon her, flickering and disappearing, just like the awareness before her eyes. The world receded into the background.
Hogwarts faded into the background.
And a strange buzzing settled in her ears.
Briefly, Luna rubbed a shoulder over one ear before her surroundings came crashing down on her present, and the reception desk that hadn't caught up with her in the last two nights stood like a lonely counter in the middle of the cold of a familiar room. Behind the white painted wood, a woman stared bored holes into her surroundings. Head propped up in her hands, the air of half an eternity surrounded her.
Hastily, Luna turned to either side. It had worked. She had drifted off, found her way to a guardian all alone without a dream; and Laima wasn't there. The sylph wasn't in her overalls' breast pocket, nor was she fluttering about. All Luna found was her wand sticking out of the right side of her trouser pocket, and the doll sitting motionless at her feet.
She lifted the doll's rigid body up to her face, unsure if she was allowed to be loud or if someone was watching her. Her voice slipped across her lips in a whisper. "Are you awake?"
The lifelessness of the fabric remained. For half an eternity it seemed Rowan – if she was indeed in that body – wouldn't want to answer. Somewhere, buried between them, there was still no clear certainty. Still, Luna waited, gripping the rough fabric in her hands, eyeing every thread that stood out at the edges. She had agreed with herself that it had to be Rowan.
Just like that.
And Piper's words made the probability greater with every breath.
It was only when her grip loosened, secretly plagued by a narrow fear that she was smothering her roommate, that the doll lifted an arm and placed it gently on Luna's finger.
"You're here!" Still quiet enough not to be noticed, Luna's shoulders tightened. The lightness that swept over her body made any challenge easier. Even in this case, where it didn't seem like a challenge, but a trip to bring old languages back to life.
The doll's head leaned back far enough to set its sights on the counter. It stared in the receptionist's direction for a moment before lifting its head back to Luna and gesturing with one arm in the direction of the reception. They would go together, just as they had done before.
With a curt nod, the Ravenclaw followed the silent instruction. Her legs carried her silently to the desk, in front of which she stood on her toes to get a closer look at the countertop.
"What now?" She knew she had to ask for someone, but no matter which guardian was hiding behind the reception desk, she wouldn't be able to name them on her own.
Rowan, however, used her body and pointed to the ceiling. There, where the light glaringly illuminated the room and shrouded it in cold. Then she put both plump arms to her face to hide it. So Luna put the doll halfway into the breast pocket and put both hands in front of her face. The guardian's name almost smiled at her.
"Excuse me? I'm looking for the Guardian of Light. Can you take me there?"
She thought she could hear her voice echoing. Still, Luna kept her hands up, not daring to breathe too loudly or otherwise draw attention to herself. She merely let her feet slide back onto their soles, tolerating the silence she was met with.
Until a hand came down on her arm. She was grabbed, ungently, so hastily that the twitch of her shoulder was lost among it all. She stumbled over her own feet, felt her heart pound and let the breath hunt across her lips. The stranger's grip was so firm that she couldn't even fall down, was dragged a few feet across the floor because she couldn't find her footing, and only then staggered halfway behind on both feet.
The soles of her orange sports shoes made an agonised squeaking sound that could probably be heard throughout the corridor. Away from that, only silence followed her, the same oppressive feeling that had accompanied her the other times.
Luna had no chance to adjust to her surroundings, or to the darkness behind her eyelids. Instead, she was simply let go and her staggering steps stopped; until she heard a metallic rattle.
"Open your eyes, girl."
Instantly, Luna's eyelids snapped open. The throbbing in her chest reached her throat and the alertness that stiffened her arms dried up her every breath. Only then did she notice that she still kept her hands raised and peeked between her fingers.
The brightly lit corridor they had come through cut off directly in front of her in absolute darkness. The threshold seemed like a transition to a new, oppressive place, while the light of the otherwise empty, white corridor conveyed safety.
The receptionist didn't have to say anything to imply that she should move on. Straight into the darkness, where she couldn't tell if someone was waiting for her there, or if she was being urged to walk a long way again.
Half in thought, Luna stretched her arms out to either side. All she had to do was follow the darkness one more time. No matter how far the walk would be, she had her wand and maybe even the chance to just wake up. In the end, she was still sitting in the Great Hall, lost in thought for others at the Ravenclaw table.
Slowly, the young witch put one foot in front of the other. The cold, damp walls tickled over her fingertips, giving Luna a sense of newfound reality she couldn't escape. The blackness engulfed her, tugging her senses into a state she couldn't grasp and yet couldn't call completely alien.
For the first time, Luna heard her footsteps echo consciously. Their sounds bounced against the nearby walls, only to be reflected, distorted and in a unsteady beat.
She listened. Each sound germinated within her, grew, and yet produced no unfamiliar fantasies. Instead, all that remained was the lulling sound of her soles on smooth ground.
Eyes wide, Luna tried to locate patterns, to give the passage a personality. But all she was left with was the feeling under her fingertips, which kept brushing over hard bumps and still couldn't draw a picture. The only thing Luna could imagine was a straight line that would lead like a thread to her destination.
She followed the thought, always ahead, tirelessly. Her clothes gave her security, revealed a little of her courage, which wavered within that passage. Dark, confining spaces held little magic and no matter how much Luna wanted to think of something intriguing beyond the blackness, she couldn't allow herself to be distracted.
But her thoughts wavered as her fingertips brushed against an obstacle that reared up in front of her. Solid wood scraped across her skin, making the Ravenclaw take one deep breath before she pushed through her back, searching for something that would grant her access.
Sure enough, barely a moment later, she came across cold, round metal. With both hands, she clutched it and turned. Once, then a second time, until it made a soft click on the third turn that made Luna hold her breath to listen.
Nothing made itself heard on the other side.
The silence remained.
Slowly, she pushed the door inwards. Her shoes instantly cast an echo across the room and the flicker of her shadow chased across the barely lit walls.
It was so dark that little more could be made out than a vague play of shadows on the masonry surrounding her, and a candle in the middle of the otherwise barren room. Behind her, someone had settled down, head bowed and the hood of a cloak pulled low over their face.
Uncertainly, Luna pulled the doll from her pocket, clutching at the scratchy fabric, hoping for a clue from Rowan. But all she did was place her rounded hand on Luna's finger and give her a nod. Almost as if they were safe in this place from all the rules and consequences.
And perhaps therein lay the very question.
"Excuse me?" Awkwardly, Luna pushed herself a few more steps towards the candle and with it to the figure staring unceasingly into the flame. "What is it that can protect us?"
"From whom?" Roughly, like a faded breath, she was presented with a counter-question and it was probably the first time a guardian had spoken to her without answering a question.
So Luna cast another glance at the doll before keeping her silver-grey eyes on the figure warily. "What can protect us from them?"
Before the figure could answer, the candle flickered brightly, only to go out the very next moment. The sudden change made Luna draw the air deep into her lungs and wait. The silence was treacherous. Uncertainty hung in every corner.
And then the candles flared up again.
With it came a scream, clanging brightly, like fingernails scraping across a blackboard. It made Luna's face twist as the sound rattled through her bones, gripping her tightly in its hands.
It took a moment for the half-burned candle to stop flickering and instead cast small balls of light onto the walls, spreading out like paper-thin cloths on the stone. Light glow followed them, engulfing the shadows and drawing pictures Luna had never seen before.
Men put their hands around the necks of screaming women. A lady in uniform dropped from a mechanical bird. People in beautiful robes rammed knives into a screaming child. Blood spilled over edges of overflowing bathtubs. Snippets of conversation rang in her ears.
Luna felt her hairs stand up and also felt the images find firm anchors in her senses. She absorbed the pictures, listened to the screams, replaced by desperate laughter, by amusement and quiet sobs.
"Do you know what this is?" The guardian's question snapped her out of her thoughts and yet it took the Ravenclaw a moment before she found words.
"Humans and all the bad deeds they do."
"Close." This time, the head lifted from under the hood. Facing her were two black pearls that sat in a narrow face with a pointed chin. "But what you see are only fantasies. Imaginations of people who haven't done anything wrong yet. Sick ideas in the minds of everyone in order to taste a flavour that will forever be denied to them because they lock their natures deep inside." He glanced at the wall to his right, on which a young boy was pulling a sword from a stone after being threatened with picks and knives. "Whereas some of these images are also memories of what once was."
Once again, Luna turned her attention to the walls. It seemed as if the magic in these worlds, these memories and fantasies, had been lost for a long time. Then her thoughts gave way to the fact that most of these people had to be Muggles. People who had no powers and so had created their very own ways of getting what they wanted. In this sense, they were little different from wizards, as her father sometimes used to say. Azkaban didn't exist for nothing.
All that had happened was nothing she could still change. They were ideas that would never see the light of day and, simultaneously, memories of long-lived days. She could only change what lay in the future – a future full of dreams and a single wish in her heart.
So she turned her attention back to the guardian who was just rising from his seat and coming over to her in shuffling steps. His bent posture made him look old. A confused image that faded as he stopped in front and his face looked straight down at her.
He could never have been older than her father. His features were wrinkle-free, flawless, mesmerisingly magical in a very peculiar way. The fine nose and even eyes made it hard to believe that there was no magic behind it.
Caught firmly in his gaze, Luna stared into his eyes; straight into expressionless, black depths that threatened to swallow her and yet came not an inch closer. It was impossible to escape the nothingness behind his gaze. She couldn't even look away when she noticed him lift his right hand and open it. Something between his fingers demanded her attention and yet Luna couldn't break away.
All she could do was disengage one hand from Rowan and hold it out, open. Sure enough, he placed whatever he had been carrying in her palm. Something small that nestled strangely round against her skin. Warm, as if he had held it forever.
And it drained the fear that still sat in her bones from her body.
"Thank you," was the only thing the little Ravenclaw could bring herself to say. A sign of appreciation, because in those seconds it felt like kindness was what they were both looking for.
In return, she got nothing more than a narrow smile before a curt cry of pain escaped Luna's lips and she glanced hastily at her hand. The throbbing in her fingers made her tremble and yet she saw nothing but a worn glass eye.
Only hesitantly was she able to take her gaze from that object and return her attention to the guardian, whose soft sigh echoed through the room as he put distance between himself and her.
"It will help you shed fear in the shallows of nothingness. But it won't ever be able to take away the images and their effect." He tapped his temple. "They will forever be a part of your memory and I don't know ... if this eye can still help you when fear is no longer rigid humanness."
"Did it help you?" The question slipped from her lips faster than she could perceive.
He shook his head. "No. Never."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." For a moment, something like peace actually seemed to flare on his features before the rigid expression of his appearance returned. "The awakening has begun ... and they must never be brought together. Remember that."
She wanted answers, to ask. He seemed like the only guardian who would let her ask questions he would answer. He probably knew more than Laima. More than the basic rules she had been given.
But he didn't let her have a word. Instead, he raised a hand and snapped his fingers.
Light flared, so bright that it blinded Luna and she had to raise an arm. All at once she squeezed her eyes tightly shut and still thought she felt the brightness equal to painful stabs on her retina.
For a moment, she let the feeling subside before she carefully lowered her arm and caught sight of the opposite wall of the Great Hall. Little had changed, except there were two Ravenclaw looking in her direction as if she'd lost her mind.
Sure, not everyone just jerked their arm in front of their eyes like that to protect themselves from absolutely nothing. But they hadn't seen what Luna had seen.
She still held the doll in one hand while slowly opening the other to glimpse at the glass eye. In those seconds, it was helpful. It blocked out the surrounding people, the curiosity, made the path she was to tread easier. Yet, it got her nowhere.
"Y-you ... were seeing a guardian!" Laima's sudden outrage, which overtook Luna out of nowhere, made her lower her head. The sylph had settled on the bench beside her, her eyes wide. Her tiny hands had clenched into fists, her expression had lapsed into rigidity, and it took her two eternal breaths to regain her composure.
"You are beyond belief!" Her voice chased up to Luna in a hiss. "If you don't need me for anything else, then let me know. There are seekers smarter than you and your dangerous solo ventures."
"I wasn't alone," Luna returned softly. "Rowan was with me." She lifted the doll slightly. "And she knew the question I needed to ask."
"Of course, she knows the questions. If this really is Rowan, then she's locked inside an object that's probably been slipping through the hands of the guardians for centuries." Without further ado, the sylph shook her head. "If she couldn't see the questions there, she definitely wouldn't be a worthy Ravenclaw." Instantly, she held out both hands. "Give me the eye. I'll take it away. And save your little adventures. I can do magic. Rowan in this doll can't. If something happens, I won't be able to help you like this, Luna."
As ordered, Luna handed over the eye. Wherever Laima took it, it would be safe. Far away from other students.
And when the sylph flew under the table again with a flap of her wings, so quietly that no one noticed her, her worries faded as well. Anxiety Luna could feel prickling on her skin as her head sat heavy as lead on her neck.
The guardian had drained her.
He had given her hope and yet hadn't shared a single answer with her.
The path remained just as mysterious as before.