Interlude
Pride of the Bulls
Part 2
The days marched on just as they did towards Bastion, the conversation she had with Atris still fresh in her head. Pretty words and a nice sentiment, that's all they were once they saw the city of Bastion in the distance. Still, she couldn't just run away even if what she had long dreaded seemed to become more real.
From a distance she could see it, the great plume of smoke that billowed forth from the Furnace. Many would say the great workshop was bound to the lands and the people, its strength rising and falling alongside them. But even from afar she could feel the power of the Furnace's fiery core thrumming through the earth, the sound of its many hammers vibrating in her chest.
The people walked about tall, proud; the uncertainty of the future that once gripped the people of Bastion seemed long gone. The knights and soldiers who had once found their purpose lacking now stood with a resolve only matched by the great walls that shielded their city. Wherever she turned she saw in the faces of the people the triumph of her brother. Sul had done more than simply stabilize Gran; he had saved it and with it that vice of guilt gripped her once more.
It had never been the responsibility of rule that had burdened her brother, it had been her. She truly had been holding him back. How many years had she prolonged the recovery of Bastion, of Gran as a whole? The vice tightened painfully as she wondered if she had any business being part of the Shepherds, would she not simply drag down Chrom as she had Sul?
Yet, something wasn't right, something that confused her. It started at the gate, the guards confirming their identity when a familiar voice shouted her childhood nickname in surprise. There was a warmth in her cheeks at hearing the name "Little Horns" again as Simon approached them, his eyes wide.
The man had changed so much since she last had seen him, he gotten older and become blind in his right eye, he looked like the grizzled, old codger that the twins joked he would turn into. His breastplate bore the mark of Bastion's commander. She should've known he would become someone of importance, he had always been a capable and faithful adviser to Sul. Simon's posture relaxed as the corners of his mouth turned up so slightly.
"Welcome home, child."
Those words shook her, they weren't those of disappointment or indifference, they had been genuine. The way Simon looked at her, it was like the pride of the bulls had simply returned home. Making their way through the city there had been others she remembered from her childhood, the ones that recognized her greeted her with the same enthusiasm, but why? Why would they greet her like this? Was she not a burden? Hadn't she made things worse in the long run? It didn't make sense to her.
It wouldn't be long before she found herself before her brother once more. He stood next to another familiar face from her days as a young squire, Alain. Behind her brother were his personal retainers, Lyra amongst them. That was less of a surprise than Simon's newfound position, her old instructor's feelings for her brother had been made more obvious to her as she grew older. There was little doubt the woman would be by her brother's side once more.
Sullivan was in the middle of addressing Chrom, the usual grandstanding speeches and petal speak she had become accustomed to when his voice started to trail off. Their eyes met one another, and Sully could feel her jaw clench as the man who had spent ten years raising her simply stared at her.
Her brother started to walk towards her, the man picking up speed as he seemed to almost restrain himself from breaking out into a sprint. Atris leapt out of the way and Chrom was nearly knocked to the ground when her brother threw his arms around her and picked her up much to her shock and utter embarrassment.
Sully had forgotten just how damn strong he was as she tried to pry herself from him. The woman's face no doubt as red as her hair, she yelled at him to knock it off. Yet, a part of her didn't mean it. Deep down inside it felt... nice. It reminded her briefly of how things had been
There had been a year before all of that happened, Sullain and Sulland's knighting was just around the corner and somehow Sul had once more found time to spend with her. While Lyra had originally been more of her instructor she slowly became more and more like family, eventually joining them during their family rites.
An old memory flashed through her mind, the five of them venturing forth when Sully had turned twelve. It had been a custom dating back to the founding of her family to journey throughout Ylisse and bond with one of the many wild and spirited horses that roamed the halidom. All of her brothers had done so and now she had come of age to do the same.
While it would take nearly six months, she would finally find her loyal steed, a young foal that would grow into a powerful destrier with a temper to match her own. Getting off Lyra's horse she approached the foal that had separated itself from the rest of the herd. The horse stomped and neighed as fiercely as it could to scare her away. But she refused to be deterred and stood her ground until it finally bent its head down, almost like it was kneeling before her.
Approaching it she placed her hand on the foal's face and felt this odd sensation as it raised its head, and she met its hazel eyes. It was like there this energy flowing through her that felt as natural as her own breathing coursed through her body. Looking back to Sul mounted atop Rodrigo she knew what her steed's name would be and leaned forward to whisper the name Rory.
There was a sudden eruption of noise from behind her. Turning she found Sullain rowdily whooping, a contrast to Sulland's controlled but fervent clapping. Sullivan threw his leg over and hopped off his horse and approached her, arms folded and smiling. He didn't even need to say anything, the approval and pride he felt in her evident. It was at that moment she realized just what Sul had become, who he truly was to her.
The energy inside her couldn't be contained and she sprinted towards him, the man who had become more than simply a brother. As she threw her arms around him, he caught her and lifted her up into a hug, a bout of surprised laughter coming from him.
A hand soon found its way through her hair, its nails digging affectionately into her head. Lyra had come up from behind them and before her instructor could say a word Sully yanked her into the hug, the woman accepting it warmly as they whispered their congratulations into her ear.
For so long she had felt the pain of her missing parents, felt as if things were simply broken and unable to be put back together. For the first time though she felt none of those things, she felt whole, complete, that perhaps things could be made right, and she could finally be free from it all.
Unfortunately, the memory and the comfort it gave her were soon interrupted as she thudded dully to the floor. Sully groaned lightly at her request for Sul to knock it off being granted a little too literal. Standing up and dusting herself there was this sliver of hope that maybe things could be fixed once more, that her old life had not truly been lost to her.
But things had changed, and it was stupid of her to think things would simply stay the same because that was what she wanted. It was more than just the simple and superficial changes that time had brought to the place she called home. It wasn't just the fact the people she once knew had gotten older; they had changed in their own strange ways that made her unfamiliar with them.
It was in her parents' old room; her brother having finally decided to make it his that it truly hit her though. Sully had learned that in the time she had been gone that Sul and Lyra had married each other. It was something that she honestly hoped for as a child, and in a strange and humorless way she had gotten her wish and along with it something more.
Her brother had briefly left to attend to a few things due to Chrom's presence. Lyra had stripped off her mailed gloves and vambraces, so that she could nestle it in her arms. No, not it, Lyra was holding her, a child little younger than a year old. Sully stared at the girl, who simply returned her stare, curiosity growing in the child's familiar red eyes.
Shock, that was the first thing Sully felt upon seeing the girl, then it became something else, something that brought more than a little shame. The truth was she was scared, and it was of a child no less. A child who told her in more ways than one that things would never be the same, time had seen Bastion move on without her.
"Something's wrong," Lyra spoke up startling the woman. She put the child back in their crib before approaching her. "Talk to me, kiddo." Lyra's arms folded onto themselves as she looked directly into her eyes.
"Just... this is a lot to take in. So much has changed while I was away. I-I really don't know what I should say." Lyra's arms unfolded as she nodded.
"You don't have to say anything, and you're right, a lot has happened. That said there's time to catch up. You've been away from us too long, kiddo."
Sully's eyes shifted to avoid the gaze of her old instructor. How could she simply make up six years, especially when Sul had told her nothing of how home had changed. Were his actions in the audience room nothing more than a lie? Was he ashamed of her? Was this her home, did she even belong here? She felt like a stranger in the one place she dreaded most.
The thoughts coursing through her mind made her grimace. Lyra stepped forward to say something when the sound of the door opening behind them caught her attention. Sully turned to see her brother; a flash of hot anger cut through her as he shifted his eyes to avoid hers. The two stood there wordlessly as the anger built until she almost felt nauseous.
"So... you got married," Sully spoke, her trembling voice finally ending the ill quiet.
"I... -"
"Had a kid as well..."
"I... I thought it best that maybe, that maybe you didn't hear from me, I thought-." Sullivan paused for a moment before forcing his eyes to meet hers. "Sully, we didn't part on the best of terms, I-."
It's fine! Look... it's in the past. There's nothin' to talk about, okay!?" It took a moment, but her brother finally shifted his gaze to the ground and simply nodded.
"I... I understand." Damn it, she had done it again. "I-I've things to do, there is a prince in our home after all! Oh, and Lady Sumia and Princess Lissa requested an audience with you Lyra, seems that alias you made up during your adventures hasn't held up, again." Sullivan glanced towards her briefly. "I... hope to speak again soon, sister."
It was strange how quickly she wished to take back her words as her brother turned his back to her and left. Even quicker was how the anger from before left only for guilt to once more take its place. Sully looked down to the stone floor and kicked it with her plated boots.
"Well, I really screwed that up, didn't I?" There was firmness on her shoulder, her eyes shifted to see Lyra's hand on it.
"You two are too similar for your own good sometimes." It took a moment for her to comprehend the woman's words. Sully soon turned to meet her old instructor face to face.
"What?"
"For years I pushed him to reach out to you, it was one of the few things we'd ever fight over." Lyra fussed with one of the straps on her armor tightening it. "I know he missed you, but he always seemed ashamed when I brought you up. I always thought he got it stuck in his head that he drove you off."
"W-what!? No, he didn't! The reason I left-"
"I know why you left, and I know the twins are proud of what you've done. Sullain would be sporting that goofy grin of his, perhaps messing up your hair or loudly boasting about you, and Sulland would have his arms folded speaking in that flourish of his, taking five words to say what could be said in one."
"I eventually came to stop thinking that was why though. All I do know is for some reason Sullivan never contacted you because he was ashamed of himself, yet for those same six years you also never reached out once. Why?"
Sully felt a shiver up her spine, her hair standing up at the question. There was a brutal battle inside of her, one side that wanted to confide in her old instructor, the woman who had been the closest thing she ever had to a mother. The other though, it was the side that ultimately won and answered Lyra's question with silence. Strangely enough her old instructor simply gave her a small smile.
"It's almost funny, that's the exact same face he'd make whenever I asked him that question." Lyra sighed and gave her a light tap on the cheek. "As I said, you two are too similar for your own good. By the First Spirit, I've no idea what would make you so ashamed you'd avoid your home though."
Home, the mention of it caused the anger to return. Looking at her niece she knew that no matter how much she wanted it to be, Lyra wasn't her mother and Sul... he.. he wasn't her father. Sully simply scoffed at the notion of this being her home. Lyra's eyes suddenly snapped to her as she felt something firm, almost like a smack to her face.
"Look at me, Kiddo." Lyra's hand now rested on her face; the smack hadn't hurt, if anything it and the words that followed felt nostalgic. It was like she was a child again, frustrated at the lack of progress in her training. "I want you to hear me well on this, this is your home, and I won't tolerate anyone saying or implying otherwise. Not even you."
"I'm... I'm sorry, Lyra."
"Don't be sorry." The woman shook her head and sighed as they moved their hand from her cheek to her hair and ruffled it lightly. "That said, I'm even more worried about you than before. Why would you even think something like that?"
"I-I... I don't know." Sully's eye started the sting from the sincerity in her old instructor's words. Sully gave the woman a light smile and a small chuckle hoping to dodge the question. "Heh, when did you start getting so motherly?"
"When?" Lyra smirked knowingly as she folded her arms and cast a glance over to the crib. "Well, you see...-"
"Oh, for the love of Naga, no!"
"You see! It all started years ago when my father accepted the offer of a handsome if stubbornly foolish young lord. I was training in the yard when a small girl with hair like scarlet fire approached me. As it turned out she was the young lord's sister and I took to her instantly, even if the years would show how much of a brat she could be, the girl always had this charm about her that endeared her to me. I think it was then I started to become, 'motherly'." Sully's lip twitched and she looked upward for a moment before meeting the woman's eyes.
"Thanks, Lyra." Slowly she walked closer to the crip and stared into it. The child, her niece, had somehow since fallen asleep. "What's her name?" Lyra stepped next to her and looked down into the crib with a familiar smile.
"Erina"
That had been their mother's name. That part made more than enough sense; Sul had always wanted to break that stupid naming convention their father started. But there was more to it than that. Her brother wanted to give their parents a second chance just as he had been.
Sully wandered the halls wondering at her brother's words. Just what had he meant by that? Sul had sacrificed so much, not just for his family, but for Bastion and Gran as a whole. She had no clue what he would have done to even warrant him needing a second chance, nor why he would be so ashamed of himself as to avoid her for all this time.
With a light groan she kicked the wall with her boot and threw her hands up. None of it made sense! Yet, for as confused as she was there something was missing, and it took her a moment to realize it. The frustration of before was gone as was that mysterious anger that rolled around in the pit of her stomach
Still there was this heaviness in her chest, like she was weighed down by something. But it was lighter than before, she had felt a similar way before, when she had confided in Atris. Maybe she had stumbled into the right way to go about this even if it wasn't clear to her. As she continued to think about the situation a familiar voice spoke, causing her to jump.
I thought you'd given up on the whole mopey teenager thing." Her eyes narrowed at the source of the voice, Alain. The man was leaning against the wall and smirking at her.
"Oi! Whatcha say about me?"
"I said that moping around is a bad look on you."
"I'm not mopin' around you damned snob." Alain cocked one of his eyebrows, the smirk widening as he pushed himself off the wall.
"Better to be a snob than some mountain dwelling misfit."
"Rose sniffin' git!"
"Barbarous hill woman!"
"Prim and powdered ponce!" The two were nearly yelling at this point as they stared each other down. That was until she finally relented and shot a grin towards Alain as he shook his head in clear defeat.
"I'll give you the point, but only for the alliteration. It's been a long time, Sully; I hope you've kept up in the meantime." She simply slapped his hand in response and Alain nodded at her gesture.
Alain had been an old friend of hers, one from her days as a squire amongst the Order of the Great Knights. Granted friends wouldn't exactly have been the way she would've described in those days. No, she would've childishly referred to him as a bitter rival, and there was some truth to that. Even now she knew that the man was itching to challenge her to some kind of joust, race, or a contest of arms.
In a way she had been embarrassed how long it took her to figure out the truth that his attempts to goad and prod her weren't born from any ill-intent or him looking down on her, even if he was at times an arrogant arse. She had been an outsider amongst the order, the only woman to ever join them, and as such people treated her... differently. While their attitudes varied it always felt that none truly took her seriously despite her capabilities, like it was all some kind of joke.
That was until "Mr. Prodigy" himself started to challenge her specifically when the Knights of the Vine would engage in joint exercises with her order. He always pushed her, always sought her out to prove a point and the two would engage in a fierce rivalry because of it, one that slowly but surely won the respect of those around her.
It was during a late-night celebration after a recently hard-won tourney that she learned the truth behind their little rivalry. Alain was half Plegian, although you'd never have known it, not until you looked at his eyes anyway. He had the same shape and cloudy grey color of his mother, of the Plegians who lived along the coasts.
For years Alain was forced to watch and listen to the fervent hatred his fellow Ylissians cast towards the Plegians all the while ignorant of their own comrade's heritage. But the man endured it all and did so in silence. Much like her, Alain was an outsider, the only difference between the two was he was hidden amongst those on the inside. Their rivalry had been one misfit helping another.
"I'm sorry for not attending your knighting by the way. Things in Themis have been... rather difficult to control," Alain said, the two having walked down the halls catching up over the last couple of years.
"I don't doubt it, we're just comin' back after wranglin' a successful alliance with the Feroxi." Alain stopped and stared hard at the wall.
"I fear we might need them more than you know"
"Things are really that bad?"
"Yes, the skirmishing at the border only grows and despite our efforts more and more of the... of the enemy gets through. It's why I'm here." The two stood in silence for a moment before he spoke again. "I'm somewhat surprised, figured you'd be giving me grief over this."
"Oh, don't get the wrong idea you wine whelps aren't fit to wipe the shite off the boots of the Bulls. But you've got a damned tough task that'd test anyone."
"The Bulls?" Alain questioned, a sly smile appearing on his face. "I thought you were a part of the Great Knights, not the Bulls."
"You kiddin'? I spent years trainin' always expectin' to wear the horns, I just went about in a different way. Besides this is my home damn it, consider it dual 'knightship' or somethin." Sully had said the words with her chest and the certainty in which she did surprised her. Alain simply chuckled and that insufferable smirk he was known for popped up.
"Glad to see you're feeling at least a bit better." She shook her head and groaned at him, the damn cheeky git. Still, maybe she had to say those words before she could really start to believe them.
A panicked scream soon reached her ears as three people whipped past them. She recognized Virion and Kellam right away, but it took a moment to realize the two were chasing after Atris. Whatever got to the tactician had caused him to run faster than anyone she'd ever seen, truth be told if he wasn't screaming his head off she'd have been impressed. Still, she couldn't leave him like that and with a sheepish shrug of her shoulders she departed from Alain to chase down her friend.
It took a while to catch Atris, much longer than she expected, but she did finally manage to do so. After a few minutes of wrestling the man down she finally found the culprit causing all this this mess, it was a frog. Apparently, Lissa had planted the thing on Atris as some sort of prank, and in a way she kind of admired the princess. One, because Sully had no idea when or where she even found the frog, and two, it was just pretty damn funny.
It wasn't long after the group caught wind of the duel between Chrom and her brother. It was just a competitive thing, and she knew there wasn't really a chance for there to be any bruised egos over this. Watching the two go at it kind of reminded her of the first time she ever met the Captain.
How long had she been at odds with that damn gate warden? A week, maybe a week and a half? It didn't matter, she had left home to prove a point and she was going to do just that, yet she found herself blocked at the very beginning. No matter how much she bothered the damn warden, no matter how many of his "prized" initiates he rolled out only for her to thrash them about it was always the same. She could still hear that arrogant, condescending suggestion that she join the pegasus knights.
During one particularly bad argument she had with the warden, a young blue-haired man wandered by almost like he owned the damn place. Imagine her surprise when it turned out to be the prince of the halidom and even more when he challenged her to a fight, and a fierce one it was. Well, as fierce a fight could be between two people who had just entered their teenage years.
It took all her skill, but she managed to beat the prince in the end. Sully almost expected him to get defensive, brush off his loss to her just like the others prats before him, that wasn't what he did though. No, he just grinned at her full of energy, he seemed actually happy that he lost.
With his help she was soon initiated, and of course she childishly yelled at him claiming to have not needed his charity. Chrom simply shrugged and smiled saying it wasn't for free, that he expected a rematch one she was fully knighted.
The duel between her brother and the Captain ended much the same, even with that same grin. That was who she liked about Chrom, even if Sul was a better fighter than her by far it was all the same in the end. Sul though, the way he fought was different than she remembered. There was so much more hatred in his attacks, and she doubted that hate was aimed towards Chrom.
Sully rapped her knuckles on the stone walls just outside the war room. Of course with everything going on this would happen, a damned invasion by the Risen. She wasn't one for tactics and strategy that was more of Sul and Sulland's thing. Still, she hung around wanting to be the first in the know.
"H-hey Sully, got a minute?" The knight turned her head to see Kellam and pushed herself off the wall.
"Sure, what for?"
"It's a bit private." Pursing her lips she simply nodded, she doubted they would be done soon anyway. The two rounded the hallways several times before Kellam finally spoke.
"So, I, um, I had this whole speech I was going to say, but with the Risen and everything going on I don't-"
"C'mon Kellam, just spit out."
"I-I just wanted to talk to you about everything going on, I overheard you and Atris talking that morning and you, well you've not been yourself lately."
"We've got a literal army of the dead invadin' us and this is on your mind? Don'tcha have anythin' else more important to worry about?"
"N-no." It had been a simple word; he'd even stutter it as well, but it took her back a little. "I mean, yea they're both important, but well-." Suddenly Kellam stopped talking and took a deep breath to calm himself. "It's all important, but first and foremost I'm worried about you."
Again that battle raged in her, both sides fighting furiously to sway her one way or the other. The two stood there in silence for several minutes before she could finally make her decision. This was supposed to be her home, the people who lived here her family. The only way that could ever be true again was to take that first step to make it so. Kellam almost spoke up when she cut him off.
"Are you sure? It's a long story, too damn long honestly." Kellam nodded to her, and she sighed her chest feeling like lead. "Well, get comfortable then, I guess."
It all came out during that evening, the raid that killed their parents when she was but three, how Sul fought and bled to save her from the attack, but how he had done more than just that. Sul had raised her, her the burden he never asked for and still he tried to make up for the parents they had lost. The worse part of it all was he succeeded.
Sul had become the closest thing she'd ever known to a father. No, he was more than that, he was her father in all the ways that actually mattered, and it only added to the guilt she felt. It was never supposed to be his burden, she was never supposed to be his responsibility. Not only had he accepted it though, but he had also strived to be more, and it cost him.
She had been ignorant of it for years, but Sul had been running himself into the ground as he tried to take on more and more of what should've been their parents' responsibility. The mask slowly chipped over the years, but when Sullain and Sulland died in Themis valiantly defending a village from brigands it all came crashing down and left him broken.
Originally, she had left Bastion because of the whispers she heard. When people thought she wasn't listening they spoke of how the twins were too young or too weak to have been true knights, how they must've only been inducted due to them being family. The worse one was when someone had insinuated Sullivan had them knighted as some kind of political ploy, as if the man who treasured his family more than anything would do that!
The anger from that one flooded her and she lost it, her family wasn't weak, the twins had earned everything they worked for! She swore that she would prove every single of those damned shites wrong! Sully had decided that night she would leave for Ylisstol and join the Great Knights, an order long hostile to the Bulls. She would join them and become a knight through her own merit and nothing else!
And that she did, she became a knight and fulfilled the oath she made, and while it had been a shining day so long ago it all felt so hollow now. Remembering the oath to the twins, she swore that since Sul had put her on this path to begin with that she would strive to be the best to make up for all the pain he endured to raise her, to make things finally right.
Sully shifted uncomfortably having finished her story, Kellam rising to his feet as he looked at her. There was an awkward silence between the two as Kellam bit his lip, his eyes darting around the room clearly trying to think of what to say.
"Wow... I never knew you'd been through all that," he finally said. "I can understand why you feel guilty even though I think it's wrong."
"You think it's wrong?"
"Of course I do, why wouldn't I? Who would want someone they love looking at what they did and feel guilt from it. I won't lie, I can't imagine being as young as your brother was and taking on such a task, but he still took it on didn't he? Just like you chose to honor Sullain and Sulland, he chose to raise you."
"Doesn't make up for the pain I caused him."
"But why are you thinking you brought him nothing but pain? You saw him in the throne room, he was beside himself with joy to see you."
"Because in that very damn room I saw it Kellam! I saw the man who raised me at his lowest point, I saw him crack and saw the truth of it!" Her body shook as he was nearing yelling at the man who shrank away from her. It took a moment and a shaky breath before she calmed herself down. "I-I'm sorry... before I left, we had a terrible fight. It's just a bad memory is all." Kellam stood straight and stepped closer to her.
"It's fine. Here give it a squeeze, maybe you'll feel better." Kellam extended his hand, reluctantly she took it and perhaps gave him more than he bargained for as he grunted in pain.
"Gods above this is damn silly."
"Are you at least feeling slightly better?"
"I guess."
"Well, then a little pain is worth it." She shook her head, a smile springing up on her face against her will.
"Damn fool."
"Maybe I am a little foolish, I constantly get roped into sparring with you, don't I?"
"Pfft! You should consider your lucky to get schooled by me." Sully soon let go of Kellam's hand and rubbed the back of her head. "Hey... do you think what I'm doing is right?"
"What do you mean?"
"The reason why I train, why I fight."
"No, I don't." The two stood there a minute or two in silence, Sully narrowing her eyes at the increasing awkwardness between the two.
"Well?"
"What?"
"You gonna tell me why you think that or what!?"
"Oh! Well, erm. Y-you said that you're trying to make things right with your brother, but is this really the way to go about it? Is that even what he wants?" Sully cocked her eyebrow at those words.
"You think Sul wouldn't have constantly pushed me to my limits if he didn't want me to be the best?"
"I think you wouldn't have accepted him doing anything less." Her eyes opened, the words hitting her hard. "The Sully I've come to know wouldn't accept in her words, a 'half-arsed' effort to train her."
The woman bit her lip as she fought down the smile that was coming over her. Something was different about this smile, there was this warmth about it that was different from any other she had experienced. The heaviness had returned in her chest, but just like the smile something was also different about this. Kellam briefly glanced down to the ground and then to the ceiling as if pondering his next words.
"I'm trying to imagine a world in which there isn't a horse beneath you and a blade in hand."
"Yea, and how does that look exactly?"
"Honestly, pretty bad. I just can't see a world where you're not yourself without being a knight or a warrior of some kind, and I think Sullivan saw that too. That said there could also have been another reason."
"That being?"
"Well, he could've have just wanted to spend time with you." Sully's lip quivered as she looked down, her fist clenching slightly. Again, there was that stupid stinging in her eyes from before.
"You really think that?"
"Kinda, yea." Kellam shrugged. "I mean the way you make it out for a time he was constantly buried under his responsibilities, if he can only spend so much time with you why not do it with the thing you love most. I mean to be fair that's why... I... do-"
It took a moment for her to realize the oddness of her friend's speech, and even more the words he said. Sully looked up to see a scarlet faced Kellam. She didn't know why, but without warning these was this intense burning in her cheeks at the sight of the man.
"Why you, uh, w-what exactly?"
"I-I um, I mean..." Kellam fidgeted with his hands refusing to look her way, something that only caused her own eyes to shift about furiously. There was this sudden panic in her, she needed to get out of here.
"G-good talk, see you later, Kellam? she eventually blurted out.
"Y-yea Sully! S-see you later!" he replied with an awkward salute.
The two turned abruptly on their heels hastily marching away from the other. Sully in her panic walked right pass Lyra who had called out to her several times, eventually chasing her down to debrief her. However she couldn't handle it, not now and she simply mumbled out something to excuse herself. All the while her old instructor eyed her with a good deal more suspicion than she liked.
A strange smile soon came over Lyra as she nodded and started to walk in the direction that Kellam had gone. Frustrated by the odd look given to her and the situation in general, the woman resigned herself to her old room for the night, the damn heat in her cheeks refusing to go away for almost an hour.
It had been decided they would take the fight to the Risen, but the battleground would be one of their choosing. Spirits were high in the beginning, well as high as they could be knowing that an army of the dead awaited them. The march ahead was sure to test them though.
That morning had been early, too freaking early honestly and she chalked up the general unease not only felt by her, but by her fellow Shepherds and even the army to just that. That night however, it was like they started slogging through the hells themselves.
It started with nightmares, ones she couldn't even properly describe and as the march went on they became more... personalized. It wasn't just nightmares; it was like they were walking through this thick cloud that choked the spirit out of them. Fights had even broken out amongst the Shepherds from the stress. Whatever was going on wasn't natural, this wasn't just some pre-battle jitters, it was something evil and she felt it in her bones as she unwillingly fell asleep that night.
It had been a week since they left, a week since Sulland and Sullain's funeral ended and still they hadn't returned. Sully hadn't even the chance to talk to Sul before he left, and she only briefly managed to get ahold of Simon before he too departed. There was this grim look on his face when she asked where they were going.
"We're going to make things right, child." Those had been his words and he said them bitterly.
How could things possibly be fixed? The twins were dead, Lyra had still not returned even after a year, and now Sul. She shivered slightly at the memory of her brother at the funeral, Simon having hesitantly stepped up to him to whisper something in her brother's ear. It was like the light in his eyes died, his body trembled, and she swore she could hear him gnashing his teeth. For a moment she thought he was going to slug Simon before he simply nodded and the funeral ended soon after.
She had been unable to sleep that night, she was too worried about Sul, too upset at the damned whispers that went about their home. Wandering the halls she came across Simon sitting against the wall, his boots and armor caked in mud. Something wasn't right, even if it was late at night there should've been some announced they had returned.
"Simon." The name came out hoarse and caught her in throat. The man didn't respond, his fingers resting on his temples as he seemed to be staring at the wall. "Simon!"
"H-huh!?" Startled the man immediately rose, his hand dropping to his side to clench the hilt of his mace. Sully shrank back from him scared at this sudden aggression. "O-oh Gods, Sully, I-I'm so sorry. I... there's no excuse, please forgive me, child."
"A-are you okay?"
"I'm... I'll be better soon, just remembering bad memories is all."
"Is... Sul okay?" It took her a moment, and her voice trembled weakly as she asked the question. Simon's eyes refused to meet hers.
"He is... alive." She tilted her head at the strangely worded answer. "He's not well here." Simon pointed to his head. "You shouldn't see him, not now. Let's get you back to bed."
Despite the man's words she soon snuck out of bed and skulked through the halls looking for her brother. A part of her desperately pleaded to heed the man's words, but the other part was too worried, and after everything it was simply too much. She had to find him.
Sully had crossed the throne room several times, but it was only when she heard a sound in the darkened chamber that she stopped dead in her tracks. It was the sound of shifting metal, the sound of plate armor and it was coming from the throne.
Inching closer to the throne she eventually saw him, just like Simon, Sullivan's armor was caked in mud and dark streaks of something she couldn't make out. Across his lap was their family axe, the one wielded by Sir Rory himself crusted in blood that had since darkened. Her brother was staring at the axe mumbling something before he finally looked up to see her in the darkness.
Whatever stared back at her that night wasn't Sul, it wasn't the man who had raised her, it was something else. The nightmare almost sped up unnaturally, the fight that broke out between them constantly replaying. Despite how hard she tried she couldn't match the sheer hatred and vitriol that came so easily in her brother's words, and it broke her. Sully had already lost two brothers, and for the second time she was losing her father. She had lost her family.
That morning hurt more than any other and for the first time in years she woke up with tears already running down her face. Strangely though the nightmare hadn't affected her as it might have once done. Perhaps it was her experiences at Bastion, the moments of weakness she had shared with her friends. Maybe it was because it felt like something was trying to purposefully hurt her and that rightly pissed her off, but she wasn't deterred, she stood strong.
The march eventually ended, as did the nightmares and the strange dread from before. However she knew full well this was just the calm before the storm, whatever was coming to hit them was coming to hit them hard. It was after one final conversation with Atris that she finally made her choice, she needed to truly make things right not just for her sake, but for Sul's too.
Even still she hesitated at the flap to her brother's tent, for all the bravado she had before she couldn't help but shake now. Clenching her fist and finally giving her a cheeks a quick slap she walked through the tent to find Lyra and Sul there, both surprised, albeit her brother more so. It was a tense moment, her brother's eyes shifting furiously until he had no choice but to look at her.
"Sully."
"Sul." She wanted to say more, but the words were stuck in her throat. Her brother glanced over to Lyra and then to her.
"I should give you two some space, I'll be back soon, dear." Sullivan leaned forward to kiss Lyra on the head, the woman's eyes shifting downward. As her brother went to walk out of the tent Sully stepped in his way. Pursing her lips she forced the word out.
"No." It took a moment, but she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her brother. The positioning was awkward and uncomfortable, her body felt like stone refusing to bend to her will.
The woman stood there for a few moments holding her brother before she let go of him. Sullivan's face was a myriad of emotions, some she understood and others she didn't. Sully took a deep breath; she had come this far, and she had to see this through.
"For so long I've felt... guilty. I felt like I was a burden, like I was draggin' you down, that you would've been better off without me." Sully could feel her jaw tremble as she spoke. "That I was a reminder of the things that had been ripped from us."
"R-reminder?" Sullivan barely managed to stutter out.
"Of our parents. Even though they were taken from us you still tried to provide what was lost when you were little more than a kid yourself. As you tried to be the father I never had how could you not be reminded of them?" It was more than stinging this time, her eyes were burning as she looked to her side.
"It... it really freakin' hurts to look at the person who gave you so much and find out they've simply suffered in silence the entire time. It's even worse when you come to believe that you're the reason they're in pain. I guess that's why I never came home or tried to contact you. I couldn't, not until I could make things right."
"And I thought I was doin' just that by constantly pushin' and trainin' myself to be the best knight that one could be. But... in the end I realized it wasn't you I was pushin' myself so hard for, it was some warped version of you that never existed. Call it your shadow if you want to be poetic, I guess."
"This shadow pushed me just like you, but there was never approval or support you gave me, it just derided me, made me feel inferior, like I could never truly be good enough, that none of what I ever could achieve mattered. I guess what I'm tryin' to say is I'm done with that damn shadow, I'm done with the guilt and pain. I want to move forward free from it all and I need you to come with me Sul."
With a deep sigh Sully finally looked at her brother, it was just as Atris and Kellam had said, the look on his face was complete horror. She could see his hands shaking as he wiped his face and let out a sharp breath.
"How... how long have you felt like this?"
"I don't know... years? It's hard to really pin it all down."
"I'm sorry, Sully." The words took her back, they weren't what she wanted to hear, and her fist tightened. "I taught you skills without teaching you the most important lesson. I never helped you find a reason to use them."
"Sullivan that wasn't just your fault, you weren't the only one who had a hand in this." She couldn't stand the shame in Lyra's eyes. "I'm sorry, Sully, we should've done more, we should've-" It was too much, she absolutely refused to let them feel this way.
"That's enough!" she yelled, Lyra and Sul almost jumping at her voice. "No more! Sul, you could've pawned me off to some house of strangers and let me be their problem! Instead, you fought to give me a family again! And you Lyra, I was just some snot-nosed runt you weren't even related to, yet you cared for me in ways Sul couldn't! This is what I'm talkin' about, the guilt, the pain it all has to end here!"
Sully's eyes shifted a bit to the ground at her words to Lyra. As angry as she was, she couldn't help but feel a little flustered. While Sul did do his best to raise her, there were simply some things he really couldn't teach her, things Lyra as awkwardly as it had been stepped up for. Looking back at them they still seemed a bit shaken and confused, biting her lip she tried her best to think on how to word her thoughts.
"For all the pain the twin's death caused it wasn't them who ripped us apart, we did that to ourselves. We can't go back to the past, and this isn't something we can make right because no one is at fault. But I want to move forward with... with my family and I don't want any of us left behind." There were a few moments of silence between the three before Sullivan straightened himself, an odd glimmer in his eye.
"You figured this all out on your own?"
"N-no... I had help from some friends, particularly Atris and Kellam." To her shock Sullivan just smiled at her.
"I'm proud of you, Sully."
"W-what? Why?"
"Even though your heart was burdened you were still able to choose your friends wisely. They managed to give you a steady footing as you tried to understand the world around you, maybe the others simply provided you comfort when that same world seemed to be too overwhelming. I also don't doubt that you found a few that managed to give you the same drive and motivation in our absence."
Sully didn't even bother fighting back the smile that came to her face. Sul was right, even if it was Kellam and Atris who helped her solve this riddle the others did their parts too. Be it the peaceful moments she shared with Stahl and Sumia, or the odd hijinks Lissa and Vaike would put her through. Chrom and Frederick always gave her some goal to achieve or obstacle to overcome.
It wasn't just them, all the Shepherds, even the new ones had contributed in some way. Hells even outside the Shepherds she had people like Alain. Yet, something struck her as she thought about this. Kellam had always been a mixture of all three, again she felt that stupid heat in her cheeks as Sullivan arched his brow at her.
"What exactly are you thinking about?"
"N-nothin'! It's not important. Or... I mean... can we talk about it later?"
"Of course." Sullivan stepped to her and held her, the hug this time was more natural, it felt right as she embraced her brother back. "I love you, Sully."
The heat in her cheeks only grew hotter as she simply muttered something back, her brother chuckling at how flustered she was. A hand soon ran through her hair, its nails digging into her scalp affectionately.
"We love you, Kiddo," Lyra said, joining them, their arms wrapping around both her and Sullivan.
"Yea, yea, I know..." Sully mumbled out beyond flustered by this point, but none of that mattered. For the first time it felt like she could really start looking forward, she had her family, her friends, and a future to fight for.
This was one of the many moments of light that burned in her chest the day of the battle, when their center fiercely and bravely charged of the Risen army. Slaying countless of the charging dead horde, she was eventually challenged by a massive one near the size of Frederick.
The creature wielded an axe and a mace and the skill to go with them. As Kellam held off the small fry she dueled against the Risen dodging out of the way of its mace and counterattacking as she parried its next blow. Despite her efforts she couldn't quite put the damn thing down.
Unfortunately, one of the bastards managed to slip past their defenses. Leaping out of the way of its strike she managed to put it down with a single riposte. As quick as she was in dispatching this new foe it was all the distraction needed for her old one. The creature's mace crashed onto her blade battering it from her grip, the axe striking her calf, she could feel her chain leggings break from the force and the bite of the axe sinking into her flesh.
Sully fell to one knee a grunt of pain coming from her as the Risen rose both weapons high. Suddenly Kellam was in front of her, his shield battered by the creature's mace, he took the axe blow head on. The soldier's armor was smashed in by the blow of the axe and she heard the breath knocked out of him. Yet he still managed to retaliate, smashing his shield into the Risen to buy him some ground.
As he brought his spear to bear to counter the creature it brought its axe down on the haft hewing through it. Once more the mace smashed into the man's shield knocking him back and leaving him open. Growling and fighting through the pain Sully leapt up and snatched up the broken haft of Kellam's spear and drove it into the Risen's face. Seeing an opportunity Kellam smashed his shield into the Risen driving the spearhead right through the creature, finally destroying it.
"Kellam!" Sully shouted as she kicked her blade back into her hands. "I'll be the sword; you be the shield!"
"Got it!" The man replied as the two covered one another.
The fighting was hard, the hardest she ever experienced, but with Kellam, the rest of Shepherds, Sul, Lyra, Alain, hells with the entirety of Bastion by her side there was little doubt she'd come out on top as another Risen became dust beneath her boots.
That was until it happened, the Risen had stopped fighting them and sent in some kind of hell-creature. Sully had killed near a dozen of the things before she noticed the Risen no longer fighting them, in fact it was almost like they had performed a tactical retreat.
It started with a fractured image that painfully tore through her mind. She watched as the army slowly started to collapse around her, like some kind of invisible weights had been tied around them. She looked to Kellam who was on one knee and struggling to breathe.
As she went to help him the image tore through her again, the smell of smoke and something else accompanying it. Suddenly all the air went out of her, it was like someone had punched her in the lungs. Sully fell to the ground, Kellam weakly calling out to her as the single fractured image started to become something more.
One moment she was at Whistler's Pass, the next she was running as fast as she could and clutching something desperately to her chest. The sounds of battle and screaming were behind her, and it felt like someone was breathing down her neck. Shaking her head back to reality she tried to stand up only to find herself pinned down with a... with a soldier on top of her. She was screaming in pain even though she didn't feel anything. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a knife being driven into her shoulder.
Again, she tried to fight off this strange illusion, trying to find something to keep her in the real world. Sully looked into Kellam's eyes only to see they were completely glossed over. Once more she was thrust into the illusion, she was now atop the soldier and gripping a stone bigger than her fist that was raised high in the air. As she brought the stone down upon the soldier for the final time, she saw her nails were broken from how hard they had been dug into it.
The man's body spasmed underneath them, and her breath came in a series of ragged whimpers as her eyes frantically searched the area for something until she finally found it. On the ground ahead of her was a small, crying child with... with red hair. Involuntarily her body scrambled up and sprinted towards the child snatching it up as she saw it was a young girl.
It couldn't be, this was impossible! What sort of hellish illusion or devil's trick was this!? Except she knew it wasn't any of those things. Sully didn't know how, but she was reliving the raid that had killed their parents and she was doing so through her brother's eyes.
Finding herself abruptly torn from the memory she tried her best to claw her way towards Sul, but it was too much, and she knew whatever kept her connected to the real world wouldn't last. With the last of her energy Sully called out to her brother. As she collapsed, she saw him by Lyra's side, his eyes locking with hers before she finally succumbed to the hell that awaited her.
Once more she was in Sul's body, her brother desperately holding a younger version of herself close to him. The fighting from before was dying down and she could feel his panic as he tried to find a place to hide themselves. Finally, he spotted a crevice within the hillside and managed to squeeze them both in. There was a muffled sobbing coming from their chest.
"S-shh, y-you have to be quiet... p-please..." Sullivan pleaded with her younger self as he tried to comfort her. From the crevice they could see a number of soldiers still hunting them as they dragged along two people, a man and a woman.
The sounds of shifting rock came from outside the crevice and a shadow lurked near its entrance. She could feel her brother's breathing stop and the fear he felt was extreme. As the shadow started to wander away her younger self let out a small sniffle that echoed slightly. The shadow stopped and soon started to grow as it came closer to the crevice.
Soon the hole was blocked entirely as they could see a pair of eyes staring up at them. The eyes may have been those of a living man, but they were deader than any Risen she had ever seen. A tense moment followed, she could feel her brother's lips moving, silently pleading to the man who simply stared at them.
"Did you find them Alvarez?" The man stood silently for a couple moments before he finally stepped away.
"No, just a couple of dead children. They were probably too weak, so the Bulls left them here to die." Her brother's hold over her younger self tightened at the man's words, and the feelings that flooded him made her sick.
The memory skipped forward as she watched through her brother's eyes what the Plegains did to their parents. She wanted it to stop, she screamed as loud as she could in the hopes she'd be free from this damn cage. Yet there wasn't any respite and instead she was left with words that would only serve to haunt her, her brother's words as the Plegains murdered their parents.
"I'm so sorry... I'll never be weak again... I promise."
Suddenly Sully started coughing, the air flooding back into her lungs as she lay on the wet muck that was the ground. Her head was spinning, and it was all she could do to not throw up. As her vision started to clear she saw she was at Whistler's Pass, a small groan came from Kellam beside her as he started to shift about.
Giving her cheek a slap she tried to focus on things around her, the sunlight was pouring onto her back. Looking out onto the field she saw one of the Risen slowly melting away, Chrom was on his knees and Atris appeared to have just fainted. There was also someone else further away sprawled on their back and unmoving
Narrowing her eyes to focus on the person, her heart dropped when she saw who it was. It couldn't be, no, please not him! Sully noticed the Risen around the three not only rising to their feet but starting to rush towards them. Gritting her teeth, the weariness and pain rapidly fading from her Sully leapt to feet and snatched up her blade. Not again, she wouldn't allow it to happen, not while she still drew breathe!
Sprinting forward she managed to grab up Kellam's broken spear from earlier and lobbed it at the nearest Risen. The spear pieced through its chest knocking it several others. As fast as they might've been, she was faster and ran through one of the dead freaks. Deflecting the next attack, the knight lunged with a downward slice cutting the legs out from under her attacker and ended the creature by plunging her sword into its neck severing it completely.
She might've been one person, but so long as her brother's body was behind her she was a gods damned army! As she slew the next two Risen another caught her in a bind. In a single and swift movement she hooked her foot around her brother's axe and kicked it into her hand, a gout of fire exploding from the axe head as the knight pushed aside her foe's weapon and split the dead freak's head in two with the axe.
Letting out a sharp, growling breath, she saw three more rushing her down and firmly stood her ground. Sully was going to cut down every dead chump stupid enough to come close! As she readied herself to attack a blur came from behind her, it was Kellam. The man held his shield sideways and smashed it into the charging Risen as he held them at bay.
An arrow followed the man piercing through one of the Risen's eyes. She turned around to see Virion, his nose badly broken and profusely bleeding, and his teeth clenched tightly from the pain. Still, he managed to ignore it as he nocked another arrow and loosed it upon the enemy.
"Sully! Get your brother out of here! We'll keep you covered!" Kellam strained as he finally managed to shove aside the two remaining Risen on his shield.
"You heard 'em! Teach is here now so it's time to show these wimps what's up and make mincemeat out of em'!" Vaike roared coming up from behind her as he hewed a Risen in twain before charging into another.
Looking back, she saw Stahl carrying Atris off the battlefield and Frederick seeing to Chrom. Naturally the Captain shouted at the knight to go help either Atris or her brother, but it was one of the few times Frederick ever disobeyed the prince. It was clear Chrom was in no shape to escape on his own. Looking from her brother to Kellam she gritted her teeth and called out to him.
"Oi, Kellam! Catch!" She tossed the burning axe to the man who caught it, the fire still burning wildly as he brought it down on another of the dead legion.
Rolling her brother onto his stomach, Sully propped him up and hooked his arm around her neck before kneeling and picking him up entirely. She carried Sul on her back, the sounds of the Shepherds battling against the swarming Risen only grew. It was hard to fight down the feelings as the memory of him doing the very same thing raced through her mind.
But there was another sound, the sounds of hundreds of people charging, and she looked up to see Lyra at the head of them all. There were tears in her eyes as her voice led the great unified bellowing of the army behind her.
"Bulls! Show these dead men walking what happens when our fury is no longer constrained by only one of us! Show them our fury unleashed!" the woman commanded, rushing past the two of them as she and the rest of the army countercharged the Risen.
Finally finding a spot that was safe enough away from the battle, Sully lay her brother down on the ground. Her body trembled as she looked over him, his face mangled and covered in blood alongside his shield arm. Sul's breastplate was caved in, and it looked like his right wrist had been completely crushed. The worst part though was how completely still and silent he was.
"Please Sul... not like this. Wake up. Damn you, wake up!" Her hands trembled as she tried to stir him only for his answer to be a silence as cold as his body. "I... I just got you back and now I'm supposed to say goodbye, just like that!? Gods damnit!"
She smashed her fist into the ground and covered her face with the other. Despite how hard she fought the tears were stronger and they ran down her face. Why had she been such a stupid damn child!? She let six years just slip past, six years that were now just gone, that she could never make up!
It wasn't fair, or maybe it was just what she deserved. As she tried to wipe away her tears there was this weak grip on her hand, the one on the ground and it took her a moment to realize what that meant. Tearing her hand from her face she saw a single dazed eye looking back at her.
"Stop... not dead... things... do." His breathing was weak, but he was still alive. It was strange, you'd think the tears would've stopped, but they only grew at the sight and sounds of her brother. "Others... danger... go."
"Sul...-"
"Show... horns!" Sully took a breath and nodded as she managed to finally wipe the tears away. She looked at her brother one last time to see his eyes closed. A part of her wondered if she had simply imagined it all as she drew her sword and returned to battle. But it didn't matter, she had a place and a duty right now, and it wasn't to be a weeping mess at her brother's side and they both knew that.
The ending of the battle had been more of a mop up than anything else. The Risen may have swarmed about but they were disorganized and directionless, little more than mindless monsters by the time she rejoined the fray.
The journey back had been harder than the end of the battle. Sul's life was there, but he barely clung to it and every day she expected to hear the news she had been dreading since the moment she saw his body on the battlefield. She stayed strong though, Lyra had and so would she.
It helped that her friends would occasionally stop by to keep them company, her old instructor taking to a few of them. In particular she always had this odd smile whenever Kellam would show up, the man for some reason freezing up whenever she did it. It was weird, but she didn't really question.
It wasn't until they had finally settled back up in Bastion that her brother awoke, the stubborn arse he was, already trying to get out of bed until Lyra wrestled him down and forced him to stay put. Despite having to put up with her brother's antics, the woman left soon after to find him some food.
Sully bit her lip and was fighting back the smile as she gently hugged her newly awakened brother. A single arm wrapped around her weakly in response. It all seemed to go well until she pulled away and saw the grim look on her brother's face.
"Did you... did you really see it?" Any of the happiness she had vanished at the question and this monstrous rage exploded from her. She didn't know for how long she vented her anger for the murder of their parents, for what the Plegains had done to them. She only stopped when she felt a tight grip around her wrist and looked to see Sul holding it. "Please stop... you... you mustn't become a beast like me."
It wasn't so much the words as it was his eyes that choked the anger out of her. They were the same as that man, Alvarez. What followed was a bitter conversation as Sul told her of the raid, of their father's last hateful words with the man who had spared them, to his own fated meeting with the very same man years later when he hunted down the brigands that killed the twins and of how Alvarez's dying words and the smile they had said them with had haunted him for years.
The tale had been difficult to stomach and even harder to swallow, but she didn't have a choice in the matter. Still, for nearly two weeks she mused over her brother's words and found that even though the pain was there it was slowly healing.
Sully was standing at one of the many overlooks carved from the mountain, the entirety of Bastion was before her. It had been one of the many places that held a special place, and she hoped it would help clear her head. They'd be leaving soon; Lissa had talked about clearing Atris tomorrow, and as much as she wanted to remain home her place simply wasn't here, not now anyway.
"Thinking is good for the mind, but it'll also burn it out sister." She turned to see her brother coming up the steps, his right arm still in a sling and Lyra following close behind him. Even now she wasn't used to the scars he'd bear for the rest of his life.
"What are you doin' here?" Sully asked, arching her brow as she spotted the pair of training spears he carried in his off-hand.
"I'm feeling restless, I used to spar at least half a dozen times a day and now I can't even get a pittance. That said I'm here for more than just that. Do you remember our talk from back in the tent?"
"We talked about a lot of stuff."
"He's referring to how we never helped you find a reason to fight," Lyra said folding her arms and Sullivan nodded to her with a warm smile.
"Hey now! I thought we talked about that, about no longer-!"
"It's not about that, calm down, sis." Sullivan interrupted her. "It's about finding something to fight for. The truth is even the most mercenary of us need something to strive for, something to give us purpose. Without such a thing we slowly lose onto who we are. The vices of the world are strong and sheer dogged determination only goes so far."
"You're always on with that flowery language." Sully shook her head and smiled. "Fine, how do I go about that then."
"Unfortunately, I can't answer that, I can only help you help you. That said twice you've taken up the cause, something to believe in. One was truer to your heart than the other was it not?"
"Yea... I guess." Sully scratched her head and pursed her lips. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't both slightly annoyed and happy to hear Sul's freaking petal speak.
Still, he did have a point. The days she fought to honor the memories of Sullain and Sulland just felt right, it felt like something worthy, something to aspire to. Yet when she dedicated herself to making up for the pain Sul had endured it always felt like she was being dragged down, worth less than she truly was. Even with only the briefest of thoughts she saw the stark difference between the two.
But she also remembered something else, she remembered how she had felt barred at nearly every corner in honoring the twins. How her efforts had been cast down and mocked at worst, or at best she had been waved off as some kind of joke born out of pity. Despite her talent and ability she couldn't overcome these expectations, not without the help of those who either understood her situation or wanted to see her succeed.
Vaike's words about how women tended to gather around her whenever they saved some village or hamlet soon came to mind. Perhaps she was just imagining it now, but there had always been this glint in their eyes, and it almost reminded her of herself. The rush of excitement when she first held up Lyra's sword and how this new world of possibilities just opened up to her. Suddenly it all just made sense, perhaps she needed to give those expectations a right shake.
"Y'know, things are different outside of Gran. Things I simply wasn't prepared to deal with, and its time I think those things change. I think the rest of Ylisse, hells the entire world if it needs it gets a swift kick to the arse!" Sully raised a closed fist at her declaration, her brother laughing in approval and Lyra grinning with a contagious energy.
"Good, glad to see you fired up!" Sullivan tossed one of his spare spears to her and spun his own until it rested across his shoulder and assumed a stance.
"Your arms still in a freakin' sling!" Sully said, catching the spear as Sullivan tilted his head in confusion at her. Lyra groaned, shaking her head.
"I'm starting to think it's more than his arm that's broken by this point."
"And I'm still so fortunate you've yet to leave me, love. Besides maybe this is just the advantage you need to best me for once Sulle-"
"Don't even say it!" She assumed her own stance and readied to meet her brother when a sudden noise disturbed them. Both of them spun, pointing their spears at the disturbance.
"S-sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything! I just wanted to check on Sully was all!" Kellam was holding his hands up as if to offer surrender. Sully dropped her guard as she shook her head and chuckled.
Strangely enough Sullivan soon followed her as he rested the spear against his chest and rubbed his chin almost quizzically. With a bit of an awkward shuffle Kellam went to leave them when her brother called out to him and the man froze up and stood at attention.
"Your name is Kellam, isn't it?"
"Y-yes, your Lordship!" There was this odd shine in her brother's eye as he glanced towards her and then back to Kellam.
"Hmm, you know my wife was saying something about me getting some rest. The stubborn fool I was, I refused to listen to her. That said, Sully still needs a partner for this little dance." Sul tossed their spear over to Kellam smiling. "You'll be a good man and put on a good demonstration. Right?"
"Y-yes, sir!" Kellam exclaimed, catching the spear and offering an awkward salute. Lyra smiled and took Sullivan's uninjured arm in her own, the two finding a spot to watch them as the two started to circle one another.
"You know if you, uh, if you want to spend time me with, we don't have to just spar," Sully whispered as she chewed her lip, a faint blush appearing on Kellam's face
"Y-you sure about that?"
"Yea."
"How about when we return to Ylisstol then?"
"Feelin' a bit impatient, are we?"
"M-maybe."
"Good, I'm not one for beatin' around the bush."
"Awful lot of whispering and a lot less fighting going on over there!" Sullivan loudly exclaimed as Lyra covered her mouth to hide her laughter.
The two nodded to each other and it was clear they were trying to hide a smile and perhaps maybe more than that. As Sully rushed in to meet Kellam she noticed something. While the pain of the past was still there it lessened with each step she took. It all that she needed to do was keep walking.
A/N
Good lord it's done, I severely underestimated how long this would be. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed Sully's interlude and found the story more heartfelt than whiny, it was a massive obstacle I faced writing this. Next chapter we will return to our main story and will be far lighter (for the most part) in tone, and should be out late March, early April.
Anyway with all that said this story deserves an author's credit to someone rather special to me, someone who just like Sully was both strong and brave enough to be able to have a moment of weakness and share the rather ugly expectations that had been placed on her. A big part of Sully's story in game is about female empowerment/gender equality, and it would've felt wrong to cut it from the story. But I'm not and I still don't think I'm one for writing such things, I really don't know if I can do it justice. That said I managed to take a hell of a crack at with your help, Nomy. Thank you for the inspiration you gave me, and I hope one day you read this.
Anyway mushiness aside, hope you enjoyed the chapter and see you all next time!