Behold, it's the first One-Shot I ever released. I usually wouldn't do a one shot, but when I first uploaded this on AO3, Season 2 was just on the horizon, and knowing we were likely to going to get some backstory on both Loona and Blitzo and possibly even an explanation on why the imp adopted her, I felt compelled to write this.
I've always been curious why Blitzo, a lonely soul desperate for love and affection from others, would go on to adopt a bitter, grumpy, seemingly self centered hellhound like Loona, rather than a younger kid who would probably be more open to showering him with the caring he craves. Now we would eventually get our definitive, bittersweet answer in Seeing Stars, but this is the theory I had before we finally got the big reveal.
This was originally going to be a chapter of Newest Pup In The Family, but given that by the time I'd get around to it, Season 3 will probably start, I wanted to release it now and get it out there before it became non-canonical.
I can't believe I'm about to become a father!
Blitzo was absolutely giddy, practically skipping through the streets, as the thought danced around his head. Him raising a little kid of his own, just like his mom raised him and Barbie. A few days ago, he would've never even considered taking care of a kid. The whining, the tantrums, and extra spending, especially while he was still trying to save up for a van; always sounded like way too much of a chore. But now? Oh, he couldn't wait, to bearhug his very own little tike.
It had all started on a particularly rough day a while back. It had been a few weeks since he broke up with Verosika, permanently ending his career in entertainment and sending him down his new path of being an assassin for hire. It was not the job he would've wanted, but it paid the bills and he found himself quite enjoying it. But even so, he was having a hard time moving on from his recent in a long line of losses and breakups in his life, leaving him once again unloved and alone.
He returned to his rundown apartment after drinking all night, trying to remember when he was last truly happy. He thought back to his youth. To his kind and loving mother, always there to give him a hug, whenever he was feeling down. Or his sister, with whom he would do everything with, and anything for. The games they played, and the times they shared, truly felt at home and loved whenever they were near. No matter what, whenever he was with them, he never felt alone. Blitzo smiled at the bittersweet memories. It was then he realized what he had to do.
Adopt a child, so he could finally have someone who'd love him, no matter how many times he fucked up!
I mean, it was leagues better than trying to fix his past fucks up and trying to talk his sister in rehab, who now hated his guts right?
It was genius. He would give a lonely, parentless child a home, care, and all the spoiled love anyone could ask for, and they in turn would never abandon him, never hate him no matter what, and give him all the love and comfort, he had craved after one painful loss after another. He'd be killing two birds with one stone! And having had the single best mom in all of Hell, he pretty much knew everything there was about being the perfect parent. What could possibly go wrong?
After going through many brochures, Vooxling info on the internet, and thinking on which species to adopt, he had finally settled on getting a nice, young little imp, from The Bedlam's Organization for Unloved Brats. Especially after seeing an ever-so-cute, tiny imp boy, who reminded him of himself. It was practically meant to be.
Blitzo took another look at the map on his phone; grinning excitedly. He was almost there now! Just a few more steps now and he would be a father! It was just 30 minutes forward, a turn to the right, then 15 minutes forwards, two left turns and a right turn, then another 5 minutes forward, and then a left and finally-
"Ooof!"
Blitzo, distracted by his phone was completely unprepared when a tall, gruff shape bumped roughly into his right side, knocking the imp onto the hard concrete floor, while they walked past him. The fall wasn't too bad; Blitzo had gone through much worse in his time but had it sent his phone flying from the imp's hands and into the driveway. He had just enough time to see it crack upon hitting the pavement…and then turn into small bits of metal and glass, as it was crushed by a passing tank.
His phone gone, the directions already fading and his happy day ruined in an instant, Blitzo was absolutely livid. He was quick to spot the rude stranger, a large figure in a long black coat, a wallet in one hand making them look like a pickpocket, walking a bit too quickly than the others, and screamed: "You fucking son of a bitch, you stole my baby! Get back here so I can kill yah!"
Blitzo bolted after them. The pickpocket, in turn, ran away from the mad imp. The two ran through streets and alleyways, Blitzo struggling to keep pace with the stranger, who was always 10 steps behind and slowly gaining as it went on. And with only his two special, very previous magazines of bullets left from his last assassination job, he couldn't afford to shoot them dead, as he had wanted.
Still, the imp's rage kept him going, even as he was panting and wheezing, while the thief barely seemed to break a sweat. Blitzo had no idea how long they been runing through Imp City; but as much as he hated to admit it, the imp knew this wasn't working. If he was ever going to catch the asshole, he had to change tactics.
When the pickpocket ducked into a nearby alley, Blitzo instead climbed a nearby fire escape ladder, leading him onto the roof. It did result in the pickpocket gaining a solid lead on him, but it also made it seem like he had disappeared. When they couldn't hear him chase them, the stranger assumed they had lost him, stopping to catch their breath.
Blitzo smiled devilishly from the roofs, sneaking over like a scaly little lizard until he was right on top of them. Pulling out a waller from their jean pocket, they went to check out their bounty, when he jumped from the roof, to catch his prey right on top of them, while he was right on top of them. His grin grew wider and he whooped in victory as he came right at them.
The stranger, who had rather easily heard him screaming, lazily stepped out of the way, causing Blitzo to fall face into the nearby rolling trash can, breaking through the lid, the garbage cushioning the impact; the can rolling an inch forward from the recoil.
The sight was so absurd, that the stranger stopped to laugh at the imp's plight; leaving them completely unprepared when Blitzo leaped out of the trash, covered in garbage, and tackled them to the ground.
"Aha! Finally gotcha, you phone-wrecking, child-stealing fucktard!" Blitzo growled as the two clumsily wrestled each other. "Oh, you're gone regret bumping into me, you alleyway pickpocketing stereotype!"
The stranger growled at him and yelled in a rough, feminine-sounding voice: "Get. The. FUCK off me, asshole!" One sharp kick to his ribs, and he was sent flying into the side of the trash can, rocking it forward to slowly roll off out of view. Though not before he pulled off their coat.
Blitzo shakenly got onto his feet, finally managing to get a good look at the pickpocket. As it turned she was a tall, female, teenage hellhound, both her ears pierced, as was her right eyebrow, and her red eyes, with some light make-up, glaring at him, one of which was hidden by her unkempt silver mane. Her white & grey fur was dirty and unwashed, covered by a long-sleeved red shirt, torn black jeans, and a spiked choker. Her tail, white and a shade of grey much darker than that of her body, stood raised and guarded between her legs, and her maw of sharp canines was barred at him.
Then, with a tired and frustrated exclamation, she tossed a wallet to his feet. "You know what? Fuck it! Take you dumb money, just get the fuck out of my hair!"
Blitzo picked up the wallet with a dismissive snort and glared back at her. "You think you can bribe me, with whatever shit you've-wait a minute." He stopped for a moment, finally recognizing the wallet in his hands. "Hey, this is my wallet! You stole my wallet! What, was it not enough to smash my phone and ruin my chance at a kid, you had to take my fucking money too?"
The hellhound looked at him dumbfounded, baffled that he had just now figured out her theft. "…Are you. You didn't know? Oh my Beelzebub, are FUCKING kidding me?!" She snapped at him, even more, pissed off. "Why the hell else were you chasing me for, you crazy pedo?!"
Blitzo snapped right back, putting the wallet in his pants pocket. "Don't play dumb with me, you thieving, little harlot. You ran into me and destroyed my phone! I was using it, to get my kid! Now the directions to that orphanage are completely gone, because of you!"
"We're literally in Hell dumbass! Just steal a phone from a store or some other asshole! Don't throw a damn tantrum at me, like a god-forsaken maniac!"
"You know damn well, only sinners get to get away with that shit! Folks like us, have to buy another one…again! And I don't care if it's with blood or $ouls, either way, you're paying!"
"Sit on dick, you flaccid dicked reptile!"
"Go fuck your mama, you flea-ridden-"
Their argument came to a sudden halt, to the sound of hard metal, colliding with other metal and then hitting the ground. While the pair had been at each other's throats, the trash can had continued rolling, until it finally collided with a nearby motorcycle, parked next to a pub. Said cycle, had then fallen onto another motorcycle, which had hit another, and like a line of dominoes motorcycles were tumbling over each other, both hellborn watching the sight, their feud forgotten, which continued until the last motorcycle, a large, wicked-looking Harley fell to the ground, it's mirrors and lights shattering upon impact. And then inexplicably exploding.
The two of them looked at the sight in wordless shock for a while. "So you're cool, with taking the blame for this right?" Blitzo eventually asked.
The hellhound was about to lash out at him when the rub doors flew open, and a large group of imps, dressed in biker gear stormed out, looking at the sight in horror. The largest of them, a big beefy imp with bull horns, gasped in shock at the sight of the bike in flames: "My bike! My baby! I just got it washed! Whyyyy?!" He fell to his knees and wept for a while, his biker mates comforting their boss before he rose to her feet and seethed furiously. "Who did this? Who's the mother fucker, stupid enough to destroy Ares' baby?!"
"Hey, maybe it was that kennel cunt over there!" One of Ares' men, another muscle bond imp pointed at Blitzo and the hellhound standing across the alley; their leader's eyes narrowing and muscles bulging at the sight of them.
"It was him!"/"It was her!" Both said, pointing to each other. Then blinking with shock, they turned back to each other, completely forgetting about the furious hippo in the room.
"Don't you dare pin this on me, dickweed! You're the one who fell into that dump and sent it moving. It only started knocking down bikes because of you!" The hellhound exclaimed at the imp.
The imp fired back equally pissed off. "Oh yeah? Well, I only landed in that trash cause you stepped out of the way when I was trying to get at yah!"
"Oh, so I was supposed to let you kill me, over a phone?!" The hellhound shouted, grabbing Blitzo by the collar, and lifting him up. "Neither of us wouldn't be in this situation, if you hadn't started chasing me, like some horny freak from the internet!"
Blitzo didn't back down, despite the uncomfortable situation, grabbing onto her arm and screaming. "Well, maybe if some asshole, namely YOU, hadn't destroyed my phone, causing me to forget my directions and lose my chance at adopting a child, none of this shit would be happening right now."
"Like anyone would be dumb enough to let a creep like you end up a father. I did you both a favor!"
"Gaaaaasp, how DARE you! I'll have you know, I'm perfect father material, you bitch!"
"ARRGH! SHUT THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU!" A furious and irriated Ares shouted at the top of his lungs cutting them both off. "That's it, I'm just gonna kill the both of you off, and figure this out later! Grab'em!"
At their leader's command, his goons surrounded the pair of hell-born, both of whom were too caught up in their fighting, to fight back as they were knocked out.
"Uh, boss, why don't we just kill'em off now? I mean, it's Hell. No one would care if we just off'em in the middle of the street," The muscular imp asked his boss, shifting uncomfortably in the middle seat of their recently stolen car, between two equally muscular goons. The rest of the biker gang kept up with the car on stolen bikes.
From the front seat, Ares scowled cruelly to himself. "After what they did to my baby? I wanna make sure they die nice and slow. And there ain't no better slow death, than drowning in ol' lake Acheron." He began chortling and snorting to himself, as he drove towards the great lake of the Pride ring; enjoying the image of her captives sinking to their grizzly fate.
Said poor souls were currently stuffed in the trunk, and not in a good mood. "Hey, hey, lady, get that tail out of my face! I don't want your street hairs covering my favorite suit," Blitzo groaned in discomfort as he tried to push the hellhound's bushy tail off him.
"How about you stop fucking kicking me in the chest?" The hellhound growled, as one of the imp's feet nearly hit her in her stomach. She slammed her fist against the roof of the trunk in frustration, as she started screaming; first in anger, but as it went on it slowly began turning into fear and panic. "Shit! Shit! I am not fucking dying like this! Not now! Not when I'm this close to finally getting out of that piece of shit foundation! It's not fair! It's not fucking fair, damn it! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!"
She eventually started gasping for breath in panic, having all but given up on the situation. Blitzo meanwhile, seemed more annoyed at her cries than worried about his life. He whispered to her harshly and seemingly without pity. "Hey, toots would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to get out of here, and your hysterics ain't helping."
"Fuck you!" The hellhound exclaimed, her eyes welling up, as she grew more agitated and scared. "We're about to die, and it's all your fault! I'm gonna drown in a fucking car, with a stupid, stubborn asshole imp because of a dumb wallet, or a phone or-or" At this point, she started hyperventilating and becoming hysterical of the situation. All the while Blitzo could just watch awkwardly at the display, unsure of what to do. For one thing, it was annoying as hell. For another thing, if she continued like this, their captives might get annoyed, and then escaping was going to be a real problem for both of them. The last thing he wanted, was for them to kill them both early.
But then, he was also starting to feel bad for her? That didn't feel right. I mean, she was the one who destroyed his phone. And also stole his wallet too, but that wasn't important right now. She deserved this probably. But…looking at her, it was hard not to sympethise slightly. She looked surprisingly young; despite begin a teenager. She was probably either homeless or on the run. And given her mention of a foundation, she likely didn't have a family anymore. It sounded like it was just herself, alone in the world without anyone that cared about her. And that…was starting to sound awfully familiar.
Blitzo whispered again, softly but loud enough so that the hellhound could hear her. "Hey, hey hey, okay, okay, look I know things are intense right now, but we ain't fucking dying you hear? Like Satan, I'm going to let myself lose it to some steroid-chugging waste pods! I can get us out of here, but I need you to calm down and listen to me for a second. Can you manage that?" Okay, so maybe he wasn't the best at the whole comforting thing, but she seemed to at least be looking at him, and her breathing was slowing down by a hair. That was a good sign at least. Now what? Shit, what did his mom used to do, when he was panicking? Maybe he could try that.
Carefully Blitzo grabbed her tail, and did his best to rub it gently; it came off as more rough than comforting, and told her gently. "Just try and slow down, close your eyes, clear your head, breath in deep, and some shit like that, okay? We're gonna get through this, you just need to relax for now." Reluctantly, the hellhound did as he suggest, her breaths becoming longer and her panic slowly dying down. He let do this for a full minute before speaking up again. "You okay?"
She opened her eyes, looked at him, and sarcastically but calmly answered: "You mean beside's the fact, I'm stuffed in a car trunk with a dumbass, who get me here in the first place? Yeah, I'm just fucking peachy."
The imp rolled his eyes but was nonetheless thankful that she had finally calmed down. "Yeah, yeah, I hate you too. Now, you've got a name kid?"
The hellhound coldly muttered: "Yeah. It's Nun-ya,"
Blitzo let out a small but hearty laugh at that. "Hah, seriously? Yeesh, you must've grown up in a creatively bankrupt home or something."
"…It's Nun-ya business," said the hellhound completely deadpanned.
"Didn't ask for your last name Nun-Ya. Now shut up and listen up." Nun-Ya looked at him dumbfounded, but couldn't make any other snarky comment when the imp cut her off, explaining in a quiet but confident voice. "Okay, I should be able to get us out of this truck; it's not the first time I've been stuffed in the back of a car. Word of advice, never date jester twins. But, the problem is the fuck ton of goons waiting to kill us out there. There are too many of them to take out on our own, but if the two of us put this little feud on hold for a while and team up, I think we might just have a shot of killing them all and making it out alive. What do yah say?"
Despite the imp's confident grin, the hellhound did not look enthused with his plan, snorting peeved at him. "And why the shit should I help you? You're the asshole who brought them here in the first place!"
The imp rolled his eyes, annoyed by her attitude. "Satan damn it whore, we get it. Alright? Would it kill you to let it go for two seconds? Especially since, it probably will if you don't?" The imp whispered harshly, then after taking a sharp breath, continued as calmly as he could. "Look, I'm trying to be the bigger dicked man here, so how about we agree both of us are responsible for this mess, youmoresothanme, and just get fucking over it? So how about, we forget the phone business for now, team up to kill everyone and then we never, ever, ever see each other again from here on out? Sound good? Unless, you have any better ideas for getting us out of this shit?"
The hellhound wanted to try and argue with the imp, but couldn't think of any better solution to their problem, that didn't end with her dying. With a frustrated growl, she relented with a small nod. "Fine. But how, the hell are we supposed to kill them exactly? I'd don't exactly have any weapons on me, if you hadn't noticed."
Blitzo however only grinned wickedly and reached into his coat pocket. Even though it was tight squeeze, his years at the circus allowed him to easy contort his way into the pockets. "Oh, you mean like…these?" He pulled out his last two remaining magazines of bullets and a pair guns; a golden flintlock and a regular pistol.
Nun-Ya blinked in surprise. "Wait, you had guns this whole time? Why didn't you use them before they jumped us?!"
Blitzo just shrugged while loading his guns. "Yeah, it pays to be an assassin. Would've used them before but you were distracting me and I didn't have the time. At least now, you can make up for it." He turned to Nun-Ya and handed her the pistol. "You're good with a gun right?"
She gulped at the weapon. She had never so much as held a real a gun in her life. Tentatively she accepted it with a nervous chuckle, the weapon much heavier than expected. "K-kinda? I've played a lot of first-person shooters. It's just aim and shoot right?"
Blitzo shrugged and smiled enthused. "Good enough for me."
The car finally slowed down and eventually came to a stop. Ares laughter could be heard from inside the vehicle. "Alright boys, let's take our baby murders for a swim!"
The car doors opened as Ares and his goons stepped outside. Blitzo turned to the hellhound, with a determined look. "Shit, looks like it's now or never. When I give the single you kick up the door, and get ready to fire got it?" Nun-ya nodded hesitantly. Blitzo flashed her a smile and got ready.
Outside the vehicle, Ares stood back and watched as his men grabbed onto the back of the car, getting ready to push it into the cold, green, wild waves of the Acheron. The larges ocean in Pride, where the souls unfortunate to fall in, were doomed to spend the rest of eternity in endless, watery woe. "All right, we push'em down in three! One! Two-"
BANG!
At that moment, a bullet cut through the trunk, hitting one of the imps right between the eyes. He fell down dead, while everyone looked in shock. A moment later, the trunk was kicked open and Blitzo and Nun-Ya jumped out, each with their gun, and glared at the group. One furious and a secretly anxious, and one cocky & excited as hell. "Anyone one else wanna piece of this ass?!"
Ares was the first to recover, furiously turning to the imp from earlier at the backseat and shouting: "Duke! I thought I told you, to search them for weapons!"
Duke nervously dodged his gaze and pointed to a fellow biker, a weasel-looking imp, in a panic. "Wha-what? But, I thought you were looking at Daxter when you said that. You should've said my name, how was I supposed to-"
He was cut off, by a holy bullet creating a hole in his shoulder. And then a second in his chest, causing him to tumble to the ground lifeless.
Nun-Ya's hands shook from the recoil of her first two shots, and the loud bangs almost made her go deaf, with the piercing ringing causing a sting to her sensitive hellhounds ears. And yet, as she held her gun, and watched the life leave the fucker who had tried to kill her, she couldn't help but grin thrilled and overconfident. "Yeah, that's right, assholes! You ready to fucking die?" Blitzo couldn't help but smile in proud approval.
Ares meanwhile was fumming and turned to the rest of his men. "Don't just stand there, being useless you morons! Kill'em!" And with that, he along with the rest of the gang, charged at the two of them. Despite the overwhelming odds, Blitzo and Nun-Ya met them head-on with their heavenly weapons.
What followed was a long, tired dance of bullets shot and punches thrown. And while Ares had the numbers, the new pair had the skills to match. Well, mostly Blitzo, the imp practically dancing around his attackers, being able to expertly and quickly shot down sinner after sinner, with expert potshots from his flintlock, before they could even touch him.
The hellhound on the other hand was not doing as good. Most of her kills were either by luck or accident, as she missed many of her shots or only managed to graze them with the bullets. This quickly made her the easy target of the two, the bikers soon ganging up on her. For a moment Blitzo was worried he was going to lose his new partner, one minute into the fight…right until she ripped one of their heads off, horns and all, with a chump of her teeth.
Blitzo looked on amazed, nearly forgetting the goons trying to kill him. Turns out, what the hellhound lacked in sharpshooting, she easily made up for with fighting. Nun-Ya could expertly dodge and evade against any oncoming attack and then claw, punch, kick and bite twice as hard as they could. And from what he could see, she was enjoying herself, judging from the overconfident, excited grin on her face. He had to admit, it was pretty impressive.
And yet, she still seemed to fall back on the gun, shooting and missing her shots, wasting her bullets much to Blitzo's growing annoyance. It wasn't long before her lacking aim and overconfidence lead to her undoing, one of the imps tackling her to the ground. Nun-Ya dropped her gun, while the imps on her side, started to gang up on her, barely holding her down despite her fierce struggling, the one in the lead pulling out a crowbar, intending to crack open her skull. With a savage smile, he raised his blunt instrument and prepared to strike.
BANG!
Which he never would, as his brain matter exploded, a holy bullet ripped through his skull, much to the shock of Nun-Ya and the ones on top of her. Before the body had time to collapse, two more bullets rocked the other ones, causing them to slump on top of the still shocked hellhound. Turning to the source, she saw Blitzo, most of the goons now dead beside him, blowing out a smoking flintlock.
Nun-Ya quickly rose to her feet, pushing off the dead imps ontop of her and looked at the imp in confused. "You…you saved me?" She hesitantly asked hesitant, not expected him to actually care enough to save her, even with the current circumstances.
Blitzo just grinned casually and shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing to do. "Duh! I can't lose a badass street brawler like you when there's still a bunch of assholes to kill! Now are you just gonna stand there, with your mouth hanging lose like a sexdoll or are yah gonna help me, lick this turd's ass?" He was cut off when Ares, finally joining the fighting himself, slammed one of the bikes against his chest, nearly knocking him off the bridge. The impact, knocking the flintlock out of Blitzo's hands forcing him to face the large imp barehanded. He turned to the hellhound one last time, before he charged. "Also, stop wasting bullets. Just stick to the whole punching them to death thing, until you can actually hit them! Come help me, when you're done with the rest of 'em."
Nun-Ya just growled annoyed at the criticism, but seemed to take it, judging by the sounds of gunfire decreasing, and the sounds of bitting and clawing taking it's place. Blitzo assumed it wouldn't be long before she had killed off the rest of the assholes, and could help him take care of this beast of an imp. Blitzo was more than capable of dodging Ares' swings with the bike, but found that without his flintlock, he was not doing too good. Blitzo's hits on the giant imp, seemed to hurt him moreso than him, whereas Ares' hurt like being hit like a semitruck.
Ares chuckled roughly, as he cracked his knuckles as he watched over the beaten down imp. "Where's your precious puppy now, little man?" he asked cruelly. Blitzo was wondering the same. Where the hell was Nun-Ya? It sounded like she was done by now. The imp turned towards the hellhound, and immediately regretted doing so. Nun-Ya had found the keys to the car, and was already in the processes of stealing it, while smiling thrilled. She…she was abandoning him.
Blitzo couldn't even fire back a sarcastic retort or a furious scream, as Ares drove his knee right into the imp's gut. He let out a loud, pained gasp, that caught the hellhound's attention. Blitzo could briefly see Nun-Ya turning to him, her smile turning into a concerned, conflicted frown before quietly slinking into the car. After that, she became a bit of a blur, as he was hoisted over Ares head, while he slowly walked over to throw him into the Acheron.
So, this was how he would die huh? Fucked up by some tough guy muscleman, fucked over by his latest partner and about to drown in a hellish sea, surrounded by other assholes forced to spend the rest of his short life, abandoned and alone, forced to wallow on his past fuck ups. Good Satan, this was sounding way too over the top to be right and yet so deserving. But, then why was he surprised; with the rest of the assholes gone, there was nothing keeping her from leaving at anytime she wanted. Just like everyone else around him, had left when they were finally done with him. And with his constant mistakes. At the end of the day, maybe this was for the best. Afterall, at least now, he wouldn't have to worry about fucking anyone over…
Blitzo prepared for his unfortunate fate, as Ares laughed over the waters of woe: "Say your prayers, sucker! Time to meet-"
BANG!
The imp's rant came to an end, as a bullet cut through his arm. Ares screamied in pain, while Blitzo was knocked out of his funk from the sudden turn. Could it be? Was it really true? Turning, he smiled in relief to see Nun-Ya, standing there with a smoking pistol aimed at Ares.
"Took yah long enough Nun-Ya! Hahaha! Now that's now you shot a gun!" Blitzo cheered and laughed from atop the Ares arms. She was still here. She hadn't adbanonded him after all! The excitement was enough to rock some fight back into the imp. While Ares was caught off guard by his growing rage, Blitzo kicked him in the eye, escaping his hands, and somersaulted back onto the ground with the grace of a circus star. He practically danced over to his flintlock, grabbed it, and ran next to the hellhound. "Okay, after all the murderizing we've been doing today, I'm pretty sure we're both done to our last bullet. Care to join me in fucking up this cunt?" He grinned mischievously.
After a short beat, the hellhound grinned ever slightly, and the two aimed their guns at the fuming Ares.
BANG!/BANG!
Both of their bullets, shot right into the large imp, tearing out his eyes and carving through his brain matter, leaving a pair of gunfire smoke steaming through the holes. Ares could only take a few weak steps backward before he tumbled off the edge and fell lifeless into the unmerciful water of the Acheron.
The two of them watched his fall in silence, both much too exhausted to move. Especially after all their running and then having to fight for their lives, against dozens of crazy biker and the giant imp. Slowly, Blitzo walked towards the edge and stared down at the waters of the damned, where Ares now had to call his final home. With a big fat spit, he smiled brightly and whooped proudly. "That's what you get BIATCHY! Wooo, yeah you shit on me and Nun-Ya, and you're gonna get DUNK'D fuckers! Hahah! Awww, that was fun. Who's for tacos?"
Nun-Ya just groaned exhausted, as she all but collapsed from exhaustion. "Could you not, be yourself right now? I feel like I'm about to die."
Blitzo just chuckled lightly at her response, as he walked up to her joyfully: "Awww don't be such a sourpuss Nun-Ya. We won! I mean, did you see me mowing down those bastards? I was like a sex god at fucking Woodstock! FUCK, I love being an assassin. And of course, you did great too, Nun-Ya. Especially all the biting stuff. Could use some practice on the aiming, but nothing a few trips to the shooting gallery won't fix. You'll be a gun-totting killing machine in time. " Blitzo quickly chimed in proudly to Nun-Ya, the hellhound not saying anything but still appreciating the small praise, then spotted a HellPhone belonging to one of the now-dead imp, happily taking it for himself. "Oh hey, check it out Nun-Ya, I got a new phone too! Guess it all worked out after all."
"Congrats," Nun-Ya muttered annoyed, continuing to lay down on the ground, staring at the distance. "Shit, my legs are killing me. I gotta fucking sit down and sleep until Armaggedon rolls around."
"Hehe, yeah you and me both," Blitzo chuckled lightheartedly, taking a seat next to the Hellhound. They stared into the distance, their vantage pointing giving them an amazing look at the cities. Neither said a word as they gazed at the sight of bright city lights, the occasional explosion, and the sky growing a darker shade of red, nighttime starting creep around. Even with the smell of death, burnt metal and the several corpses lying around, it made for a peaceful, pleasant sight. Despite their deal being fulfilled, neither tried to move or even say a word. Both silently sat and admired the view.
In between glances, Blitzo turned to the Nun-Ya. Looking at her, he supposed she wasn't all that bad. Sure, she ruined his day, smashed his phone, nearly gotten him killed and almost left him to die, but it had all worked out in the end. He got a new phone, which seemed to bebetter than his previous one. It was a shame to lose his last bullets, but as long as they were alive at the end that was all that matters. And she had held up her promise. Despite the odds, she fought by his side and helped kill those asshole bikers. And even when he thought for sure she had abandoned him, she chose not to leave, instead saving his life from that brawny, tiny dicked jerkoff. Plus, she was a damn awesome brawler and could be just as awesome with a gun, if she trained hard enough. And hey, it had just one day. He could always go adopt the kid tomorrow. All things considered, Blitzo could see him growing to like this Nun-Ya.
Pushing himself back onto his feet, Blitzo yawned and turned to Nun-Ya gesturing to the car: "You know, I think I can see my apartment from here. Should only take us an hour to get there, if we take the car. If you want, I'll even let you crash for the night. Promise I won't try to kill or sleep with you or anything."
The hellhound quickly considered rejecting his offer and leaving on one of the bikes, even making some sarcastic quip about how that was exactly what someone who would do those things would say if they wanted to kill/sleep with someone. But, she just let out a small sigh and shrugged. "Whatever."
Practically kicking the door open, Blitzo and the hellhound trudged inside; the tall imp got the lights while she closed behind him. Once they were inside, the imp turned to Nun-ta and gestured around his apartment. "Well, Nun-Ya, welcome to my castle. Make yourself at home I guess, but if you try to steal anything I'll fuck you so hard, your tail flies off."
Ignoring the bizarre threat, the hellhound took one sniff and almost gagged; it was obvious the imp had never aired out his apartment once in his life. The place reeked of burntout smokes, rotten leftovers, and bleach with a hint of shit and death. Looking around, the sights were hardly an improvement. Torn-up wallpaper, a table or two filled with horse & MLP dolls, some crude drawings, an outdated TV and DVD player, and an old, moldy couch. There was also a crudely made banner saying: "Velcum hum!" over by the table, alongside confetti and balloons all over the place, no doubt for the kid he had planned to adopt today. She scoffed in disgust: "Not like there's anything to steal. This place is a dump."
The slightly exhausted Blitzo frowned deeply and opened his mouth to protest. Then looked over the apartment and sighed in defeat: "Yeaaah…it kinda is a dump. Beats living in the streets though." He went into the kitchen and raided the fridge. "You wanna beer?"
The hellhound answered with a exapserated sigh: "Oh, fuck yes! Give me twenty!" Blitzo let a good, hearty laugh in responose, pulling out a twelve pack of Algol's Blood beer, and putting it onto the counter of the kitchen. Both of them grabbed a bottle and started drinking.
Blitzo, had barely made a dent towards the first third of the liquor, when the hellhound slammed an empty bottle onto the counter, grabbed a second one, and started chugging. The imp looked in awe and shock, as she emptied the bottle in three large, rapid gulps before moving on to the next one…and another and another. In 2 minutes, he had to pull away the remaining two bottles from her, when she tried to grab another. "Okay, that's quite enough for you missy! Seriously, this was fucking Algol's Blood, how the hell are you not barfing up your intestines yet?"
She scoffed annoyingly and rolled her eyes: "The hell do you think you are, my mom?" She dropped her empty bottle on the floor, shattering it into pieces. "Relax old man, I'm a hellhound, we can take alcohol better than any demon in Hell. That there was pretty much an afternoon drink for us. Shit, it takes double of that, before I even start getting tipsy."
Blitzo went from concerned and irritated to impressed by Nun-Ya's casual remark. "Well…shit. Not gonna lie, that's pretty damn awesome. Kinda getting jealous right." Turning to stuff the remaining beers back into the fridge, he just missed the hellhound's brief blush and faint tail wag. She was not used to being complimented. Especially not for her drinking skills. For some reason, hearing it from him…felt nice. "Still don't want yah, drinking all my good stuff. I'm gonna head to the bathroom for a quick wash before I get the couch ready. There are some snacks in the fridge if you're hungry, just try not to eat or drink me out of home alright? Seriously, that beer cost me two months' worth of paychecks."
With that, Blitzo slipped into the bathroom, taking one of the last beers with him, leaving the hellhound alone. She helped herself to some leftover takeout taco and the last beers from the fridge, and walked around the apartment for a bit, trying to find something to pass the time with. There were no books, the films he owned were all either cheesy animated baby cartoons or movies about horses, and scrolling through the channels, she found there was nothing worthy of her interest on TV.
With else to do, she had wandered around the small apartment, inspecting her temporary guest room, to learn more about the strange imp, she was sleeping with. This what lead her to his bedroom.
There was the usual, a bed, a small nightstand, a window by the bed, a few posters, and some pictures, but no closet or anything. All the clothes were just piled up into two bundles. One clean, the other dirty. Sitting on the bed, Nun-Ya could feel how small it was. It was tall enough for an imp, but barely her size. The mattress was lumpy, worn, covered in stains, and hadn't been washed in days. And neither had the cover and pillow. The depressing thing was, it was somehow still better than her old bed back in the foundation.
While lying on the bed, she started to take notice of the various posters and pictures on the wall, of which there were plenty. There was one, looking like a poster for one of Mammon's concerts. And one that looked like a ruined poster from that amusement park Loo Loo Land, she sometimes saw ads for on TV. And a disturbingly large amount of pictures of horses.
But then there were some like an ad for a stand-up night advertising The Incredible Blitzo. There was one in a picture frame, that was torn in half, showing only him with a pink arm wrapped around his neck. There were hardly any pictures featuring him, and in the ones there were, she could barely make him out, as it looked like he had tried to erase himself with a marker. The only exception was another advertisement poster, this one a circus-themed one dedicated to The Amazing Imp Twins: Blitzo & Barbie Wire.
Looking at all of them, Nun-Ya was unsure what to make of her host. He was already a strange one, back on the streets, but looking at these pictures, the glances into the imp's past, the hellhound couldn't help but wonder what kind of a life he had lived until then. And how it had ended up here; being so angry, bitter and alone. She accidentally knocked over a picture frame on the desk. It had a picture of a family of three imps and a card. One was a mother, judging by her age the misspelled message on the car, and a pair of young imp twins holding a card. One, that looked very familiar.
"Hey! Get away from that, right now! Get out here now!"
That was when Blitzo had found her, his voice shouting out loud, as he marched towards her. He was pissed. Not annoyed or peeved pissed as he had been earlier. No, genuinely furious, like she had just stabbed him in the back and he was moments away from killing her.
Nun-Ya was quick to comply, putting the frame back, getting off the bed, backing far away from it and Blitzo as possible. "Okay, easy, easy, I'm away from it alright?" She cried out in defense, a little scared of the imp's change in tone. "I didn't mean anything, I was just looking around, I swear."
"Yeah? Well don't look at something that isn't any of your damn business, yah hear?" Blitzo growled, checking on the picture frame frantically, making sure it wasn't damanged. Beside him, Nun-Ya shuffled uncomfortably.
"Right. Sorry about that. Didn't know this was a personal matter. I'm leaving" She awkwardly began walking out the room. But as she did, Nun-Ya couldn't help but spare a few glances at the imp, as he hugged the frame protectively. She frowned, sympathetically.
"That's your family, right? What were they like?" The question had left her lips before she could take it back or even think about it. The hellhound cringing at herself for asking.
Blitzo flinched at the sensetive question, his frown growing darkening. The hellhound gulped, worriedly bracing herself for a scream fest and for the imp to kick her out of the house, right there. The imp might've done either, when he stopped himself, and just sat on his bed quietly. An uncomfortable air filled the room, as Blitzo thought about how to respond, or even if tell her anything at all, and just try to forget about it. The hellhound was just about to step out the door, when she heard: "They were great." The hellhound blinked, at the quiet statement from the imp. Blitzo turned to her with a saddened frown. The imp didn't know what was going on; why he was telling his past to some hellhound, he had just met! But for some reason, he felt…comfortable around her. Almost like, he could trust her with this. "My sister and I were as thick as thieves our whole childhood. Fuck, we damn near did everything together. Can't remember the number of times we nearly burned down the circus, with the crazy antics we went up to along with my other best friend. And my mom, she…" He fought back a choke, before continuing. "She was everything a mom should be."
"Are…are they dead?" The hellhound asked hesitantly.
"Oh no, Barbie's still around. Mind you she's in rehab now and doesn't want a fucking thing to do with me, which is pretty much the story of my life, but hey it's better than if she was a rotting corpse right?" He didn't mention his mother. He couldn't. Even now, years later her memory was too painful. He bitterly cut off Nun-Ya before she could say something, and waved away her hand coming for his back. "Don't apologize okay? Not like I need her much now anyway. I'm a grown ass asult, with an assassination permit and a soon-to-be-father. Got too much shit on my plates, responsibilities to worry about shit from the past. Some broken shit just can't be fixed, so it's better just to forget about it." Blitzo has tried to sound confident and unaffected by it all, putting on a brave smile; Nun-Ya just looked at him sadly, clearly seeing past the lie.
"Yeah well, I'm still sorry about your mother," Nun-Ya softly apologised, as she sat next to him. Blitzo didn't acknowledge her, just went back to looking at the frame. They sat there in silence for a while, the hellhound unsure what to say for a bit. She thought back to her own family, and with a snort she quietly said. "Hey, at least you had a family and people that loved you. I mean, not all of us are lucky to even have that down here. Your family never abandoned you in a Ring filled with dicks screwing you over just by existing."
That got Blitzo turning to her, his curiosity getting the better of him again, as he frowned disgusted. "Wait? Your family abandoned you? When the hell was this? And why the fuck would they do that?"
Nun-Ya laughed bitterly. "You fucking tell me! Dad didn't stick around for any of the parenting. And my mom? She didn't want me. I was a mistake. Said so right to my face when I was a kid. So, she dumped me in the nearest orphanage she could find, where I spent most of my childhood waiting for a mom, who viewed me as a fucking load from the moment I was born, to come for me. Surrounded by asshole grown-ups and even bigger asshole kids, all either imps or succubi with maybe one or two other hellhounds if I was lucky, all treating me like a fucking, rabid kennel bitch, just for being there; all the happier to try and hand me off to the first foster family they could find, not giving a damn, whether they were trying to sleep with me, train me up to be cheap labor, or turning me into their fucking pet! Hah, not that anyone ever wanted me. No one wants a troublemaking hellhound, that won't obey orders like a good little doggie. Not that I ever needed an adult, I've always taken care of myself. I try to leave, and they just dump me with someone else to be their fucking problem. I've been to orphanages and foundations than any child should go through, and each time it was the same fucking thing. Asshole adults, dickhead kids, shitty wannabe foster homes. No end, no change, no care." Nun-Ya paused to wipe her eyes before any tears could fall, bitting back her sadness into bitter anger. "So yeah, you're pretty damn lucky all things considered."
The room went quiet again, aside from Nun-Ya's heavy breathing, the hellhound silently cursing herself for pouring out to some imp stranger, who she had just met and had been hunting her all day. That was when, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Slowly she turned to see Blitzo, looking at him with his best comforting smile. "I'm sorry, they did that to you. No kid should ever have to go through any of that shit. It fucking sucks. Fuck'em. Fuck'em all, okay?" Blitzo told her honestly and softly.
The hellhound trembled, and her tail wagged just a beat from his touch. She was thankful that he was there, but didn't say it. "…whatever, I'm over it." She finally lied, very poorly too, Bltizo could immediately pick up on it, as she brushed off the imp's hand. She continued in a dismissive voice, before he could press on, not wanting to be vulnerable again. "Besides, won't be for much longer. I'll probably get caught and sent back to the foundation in a week or two, but on the bright side, I'm finally turning 18 four months from now."
"What's so great about that?" Asked a courious Blitzo.
"Duh! Once I turn 18, I'll be a full adult and no longer eligible for adoption." Nun-Ya actually smiled excited at that. "I'll finally be free. Free to live my own life, the way I want it, away from all those assholes I've had to endure for the last 17 years!"
Seeing the hellhound with an honest excited smile, and even her tail starting to wag, Blitzo felt in a better mood. He asked on about that, eager to know what she had planned. "Oooh, really? Well, about fucking time. Got any plans on what you're gonna do, once you're long gone from those shits? Maybe the assassination buisness? I have been looking for a partner," he winked, with the subtly of an elephant in a china shop.
Nun-Ya just shrugged dismissively, but never losing her excited smile. "Not really. Probably get a job somewhere as a drunk dealer or something, until I get enough $ouls to move to Gluttony, find some pals there and get a fresh start on my life. I got four months, I'll figure before then," The hellhound sighed, as she leaned onto the bed. "As long as I'm free to live my life however I want it, I'll be happy."
"Heh, sounds pretty good to me. And if you're half as good with work, as you were kicking asshole ass and downing on those beers today, I'm sure you'll do awesome as hell." Blitzo agreed encouragedingly, sounding fully supportive of her plans. "You know, I don't think I told you, but I was actually planning on adopting a kid myself. I was thinking about getting an imp but now…if hellhounds are anything like you, I might be convinced to make a change."
Nun-Ya laughed sarcastically and snarked: "Yeah, I heard. You mentioned it like 10 times today. With that short fused temper of your, your trigger finger and cavalcade of issues, I betcha you'd make a Helluva Dad."
"Awww, thank you! I mean, I always knew, but I appreciated that you think so too," Blitzo smiled brightly at the compliment. Nun-Ya didn't bother to tell him she was sarcastic, just rolled her eyes and laid on the bed, the imp quietly sitting beside her. "You know what? You take the bed," Blitzo said suddenly. The unexpected offer, taking the hellhound by surprise.
"Wait, are you serious?" She asked caught completely off guard. "I mean, this is your place, you're seriously not just gonna give me the couch? It'd probably be a better fit.
Blitzo waved off her concerns, with a smile. "Naah, it's fine. It's just for one night anyway. I'm sure I can make myself perfectly comfortable on that old chair of dirty mattresses and feathers. You could use a good rest, after all the work you've done today."
"T-thanks." She fought back a smile. "Seriously. I promise I'll be gone first thing in the morning. You won't even know I was here," she quickly assured him.
"Awww come one, don't worry about it. It's the least I can do, after helping me take care of Hell's Angels reject fuckers today. Plus, it sounds like you need it more than me." Grabbing his unopened bottle of beer, he took the cap off and raised it towards the hellhound. "Hey, how about a toast? To staying alive on a shit day like this and taking whatever losses Hell takes from us, giving it twice as much back!"
After a beat, Nun-Ya shrugged tiredly, as she flicked off the cap of her own bottle. "What the hell? I'll drink to that." The two clanged their bottles together and shared a drink; the hellhound naturally emptied her bottle before he could even finish his.
After that Blitzo yawned, finally getting off the bed. "Well, I don't know about you, but it's getting late. Normally, I'd be all for a late night's drinking, but sadly I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. Adopting a kid and all. Night, Nun-Ya." He got up and went to leave.
"…Loona."
He was right at the doorknob when she spoke up. Blitzo blinked in surprise and turned to her, eyebrow raised and a little confused eyebrow: "Huh?"
The hellhound rolled her eyes, but still gave him the smallest hints of a sincere smile. "My name. My real name. It's Loona."
Blitzo looked back at her quietly, repeating the name in his head, then warmly smiled back. "Well, then Loona, enjoy the bed. Sweet dreams and all that." He closed the door behind him, leaving the hellhound alone in his room. It took only a few seconds for the both of them to fall into a peaceful sleep.
"Hey, Loona! Are you decent? I made breakfast!" Blitzo cheerfully knocked on the door. When he didn't get a reply, he opened the door and wandered inside. "I didn't know what you liked, so I decided to do a little bit of everything. We've got some toast, cereal, juice, eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes-the pancakes might be a little dirty cause they fell on the floor, but five-minute rule and all-"
Empty.
The room was completely empty. The bed was undone and the window was wide open, a few stray hairs by the still and covers.
"Oh…you're gone," said Blitzo softly to himself, his excitement turning into disappointment. "Right, of course. You did say you would be, after all. Just like everyone else…well, at least I won't go hungry today."
Blitzo sat on the bed alone, helping himself to a large tray of food. He needed something sugary and filling, to try and cheer him up right now; even if he would feel bloated and sick by the end of it.
He didn't know, why he was getting so worked up about it. It was just some random orphan hellhound he had met. They had both agreed it was only for one night. And she was a bad-tempered, rude jerk who had destroyed his phone and stolen his wallet. Obviously, she wouldn't stick around for long. Plus, it was par for the course with his luck.
Besides, he had more exciting things coming up. Once he could figure out how to rework his new phone, he could finally get back to getting his kid! Hopefully, that cute imp child was still available. If not, he was sure he could find some other hellion who would love him. The plan was going forward! In a few hours, he'd finally have the loving family he had always wanted!
…Too bad Loona, couldn't have that. Blitzo scowled at the thought of her treated all these years. Even now, he couldn't help but feel bad for her. He had ruined more than his fair share of friendships, relationships, and family in his life, but at least he had them. He had friends, lovers, and a loving mother and sister to help him by for most of his life. Poor kid had no one. No friends, no family, not a single soul to turn to. For a kid to have to live through that…it wasn't fair!
Seriously, what the hell was wrong with people? Why would anyone want to do that to her? Loona was awesome! She had attitude, plenty of backbone, a nice heart underneath her doll interior, sass, she could kick serious ass, drinking any gluttony demon under the table and took no bullshit. Sure, she had a bit of a temper, but that was no deal breaker. Heck in Hell, that was pretty much a blessing. So what if she was a hellhound? Any idiot with half a brain cell would be lucky to have her!
Fucking Hell! It was a heartless place most of the time. But on the bright side, she'd be eighteen soon. She'd be old enough to go out on her own and live her own life, without any family, bastard teachers, or assholes getting in her way. And knowing her, she'd be great. I mean, s-sure she almost died yesterday, might've even have drowned if it wasn't for him and his bullets but that was just one time. But that was just one time. Like he had said before, Loona was a badass. She could totally handle herself.…right?
On a whim, Blitzo took out his new phone and typed "hov lung du onadobted hellhons lev in Hell?" on Vooxle. And the results didn't look pretty. He knew hellhounds were rock bottom in Hell's totem pole, but he never realized or never cared, how bad they had it until now. Outside of their native ring in Gluttony, the treatment towards hellhounds was absolutely fucked up. Most hellhounds could barely manage to keep any good jobs, aside from brutal labor where overwork and deaths were common, drug testers, being cannon fodder for the wealthy elites, or sex workers in seedy establishments. They weren't even allowed into many buildings like certain clubs, stores or banks. There were some decent jobs for hellhounds such as becoming bodyguards, bouncers, assassins, drugdealers or melee fighters for entertainment, but with an over growing sinner population willing to do those for cheaper, they were becoming increasingly rare.
And apparently, it was worse for unadopted or orphaned hellhounds, as they were treated as common strays or untrained dogs by the other hellborn, making their chances at a stable job and a better life even lower, without the support of others. Unless they could find a good support group or a fellow pack, the mortality rate for them was frighteningly low, from deaths in fight rings, drug overdose, STDS, and so on.
Oh fuck, was this going to happen to Loona? Blitzo got flashbacks to his own homeless faze, shortly after leaving the circus. He could remember being young, having to fend for himself, often eating out of the trash for food, and having to constantly fight and steal just to survive; and the days he barley made it out alive. The thought of Loona having to go through all that? On top of all the bullshit, that came with being a hellhound? It sickened him. He wished he could help somehow.
…so why didn't he?
After all, he was still adopting, but that didn't mean he had to adopt a young kid. And there were still months left before she turned 18.…
A flash of inspiration lit up in Blitzo's head. He began searching for orphanages with hellhounds, typing in the word Foundation for good measure. It didn't take him long to find a website for the Hellhound Foundation, and after scrolling through their websites and images for 10 minutes, he found her. He looked up the address and phone number. Okay, it was big for a road trip, about a day's worth of driving. But, he had a car now, so he could use that to get there. Or maybe pawn it off and finally buy that van he'd always wanted. If he saved enough money for gas, he could do it in about a week from now! Maybe even less.
Blitzo smiled excitedly as everything started to fall into place. There was so much to do. He'd have to redecorate the room. Move his stuff into the living room or kitchen, set up for a big welcome party, and try and get more assassination jobs done to pay for gas, food, the upcoming expenses to raise a teenager and to get her a gift. Maybe a Hellphone of her own? And of course clean the place up, so things would look and smell at least a little better than last time. Nothing but the best for his soon-to-be daughter. Oh, how he would spoil her. When she got here, she'd be treated like a queen.
This was going to work. He could feel it in his bones. Oh, I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees me again and hears the news! She's going to cry tears of joy!
True to Loona's prediction, she had been caught and returned to the Foundation in less than a week. She got the usual lecture from the higher-ups, small smacks with a belt, the ridicule from her peers and was sent to her room without food for three day. Not that she cared anymore. She was almost there; just a little more time.
She had felt kinda bad about ditching that imp, without a goodbye or something. Sure, he was a reckless, stubborn, annoying asshole, but he did have some pretty good moments to him, letting her have his bed, giving her a drink, helping her out in the fight, and talking with her; he was already leagues better than most of the adults she had met in her life…
Loona still didn't quite figure out, why she had told him her name and all her personal baggage. Or why she didn't just ditch him when she had the car. She could've pawned that thing off and gotten enough money to get to Gluttony and live comfortable her whole life, away from these assholes a lot sooner. But, she did kinda owe him for saving her life earlier and for being the reason she was still alive at all. And she kinda appreciated his encouragement and compliments. She couldn't remember the last time anyone had done something like that for her.
But all that didn't matter now. She doubted she'd ever see him again, and that was just fine. Sure, it might be cool be cool if they bumped into each other again, but if not? Eh. In less than four months, she would have the fresh start and true traste of freedom she had always wanted. She didn't need him anymore. Not when she would be out of this miserable hellhole and free to live however she wanted. No more shitty Foundation, asshole caretakers, pencil-dicked kids, and being the punching bag of the place. She was finally-
Knock-Knock!
One of the staff members walked through the door, without waiting for her acknowledgment. "Ahh, Ms. Loona, good to see you're not busy. I need you to follow me please."
Loona rolled her eyes at the staff member's dumb, fake smile, greeting them with a heavy huff and turning from their gaze. "Whatever it is you assholes think I did, it was somebody else. I've been rotting and boring myself away in here, as per your demands. Thanks for that by the way. Now kindly fuck off."
The staff member awkwardly cleared their throat and said something she never thought would be said to her: "A-actually, for once you're not in any trouble. Quite the opposite in fact. You've been adopted."
"…what?"
The staff member laughed nervously at the hellhound's response: "Yes, we were just as surprised as you."
Loona's mind was such a blank, she could barely register anything as the staff member grabbed her by the hand, and started leading her out the door. She had been adopted. The words danced in her mind, as the full weight of them slowly started to sink in. After years and her whole childhood of not being adulted; of being neglected, treated like a dog, and not even looked at by other adults and families, finally someone actually wanted to adopt her.
Someone had adopted her.
Someone, had come in right the fuck out of nowhere, when she was finally about to be free; finally able to become her own person, to live her own life, to have something she had never known…and taken that dream away from her in an instant. All those years of waiting patiently, wasted and thrown aside in one swoop, without her knowing or agreeing to it. Just like that, her dreams were over.
Recovered from the shock, Loona ripped her arm out of the staff member's grip and growling furiously: "Wait, hold the fuck up! What the hell do you mean I'm adopted?! No one's ever wanted to adopt me when I was a kid, so why the hell would anyone wanna take me now?! Is this some kinda fucked up joke?!"
The staff member started fumbling his words, as they struggled to lead Loona along. "Look, I don't what to tell you alright? Honestly, we were hoping you'd explain the situation. All I know is some crazy imp kicked down the doors just now, and demanded to adopt you. He didn't even want to give the other children the time of day, he insisted on you.."
"Who the hell would-Wait. Did…did you say it was an imp?" A formerly confused Loona asked tentatively, as an uneasy thought on who it could be entering her mind.
"Yes. We tried to convince him to give the rest of the pups a chance, but that bald, crazy bastard was insistent it be you. Bloody idiot was absolutely steadfast on the matter. Nearly caused a scene just to get us to agree. Still, at least we got some good $ouls for it," they sighed as the two of them approached the door.
From behind them, Loona was growing anxious from the description of the imp. He…he wouldn't! Would he? After opening up to him. After trusting him. Telling him all about her dreams, how happy she was to finally make something of herself, he wouldn't take that away from her like that. Right? No, no no, please don't let it be him.
The staff member opened the door, and revealed Loona's new adoptive father…
"THERE SHE IS!" …And much to her horror, disappointment, relief? and fury…it was him. Holding a signed adoption certificate, with a big, bright, stupid, punchable smile on his face.
"Hi, Loonie! I finally found you! Isn't that great? Now you can finally have that loving family you've always wanted!" Blitzo gushed happily, like a kid in a candy store and ran towards her with open arms. "Come over here, and give your new daddy a hug!"
She growled fumingly.
"OH, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
And thus a beautiful family was born.
I've always liked the idea that Blitzo & Loona met before he adopted her, giving him more time to relate to the hellhound and a reason to want to pick her own other children. Hopefully you don't mind the cliffhanger ending, as there won't be a chapter 2. Just assume stuff happened in between then and canon that caused Loona to warm up to Blitzo enough, to wanting to stay longer and not leave him even after 5 years.
Anyway, thank you all for reading.