Chapter 4 ( warning: one tiny mention of people killing themselves because of rejection )( for a mini playlist check the author's note! )
"So?"
"So what?"
"So what are you going to do about your flirtatious doctor" Athenadora said no doubt at the edge of her seat from all the excitement
"Ahh, what can I do?"
It was true. I had, for once in my life no idea what to do. On the one hand, the doctor was sweet and caring but on the other, he was a constant mix of hot and cold, an exhausting combination of temporary 'I adore you's' and we 'can't do this, it's not right'
But I couldn't exactly leave my husband
"he doesn't want to be a mistress" I added
"He's such a fool"
"Athenadora!" Corin scolded
"I mean come on, he thinks she's going to leave her husband for him? Not a chance"
"You're sure you cannot leave Aro to be with Carlisle?" Corin asked promptly
"Of course not. It's just a fling anyway"
"Okay, then there is no other choice than to end it. Problem solved"
She rolled her eyes at our expressions
"You don't want to leave your husband and he doesn't want to be your plaything, then you end it with him"
"You say it like it's the easiest thing in the world" I chimed in
"It is."
"...but he's handsome"
Life seemingly never got boring with Athenadora and Corin, even though we were basically on permanent house arrest, life never got too dull, and for that, I thanked my lucky stars
"Tell him it's over" My sister in law demanded "he's too much trouble anyway"
"But do it gracefully, please. People have killed themselves because of cruel rejections" Corin added
"He's not going to kill himself, be serious"
"He wouldn't be able to" Athenadora smirked
I rolled my eyes
"How would you two do it then?"
My best friends, with mischievous glints in their eyes, turned to each other and assigned roles as if in a school child's play
"Listen, you are simply below me" Athenadora began
"Please, I'm nothing without you!"
"You are truly scum"
"I love you..."
I cracked a smile. Such theatrics.
"That's how you do it." The Greek woman declared.
"Come on, as we practiced, don't let him talk you out of it"
The words of my advisors echoed in my head
Just grow up Sulpicia, do it. Just knock. And I did
After a minute or two the doctor opened the door with a smile on his face
"My lady," he said while trying to tame his golden locks
Does this man not own a comb? God, he's handsome
"I have to talk to you"
"Alright, come in"
As we entered the room I glanced at the all too familiar hyssop blend he had been working
on earlier. It was now done and placed atop a high shelf
"You're done?" I questioned
"Yes, it didn't really work as I had intended it"
"Then why do you keep it?"
"To remind me of you." He admitted, "Anyway, what did you want to talk about?" He hurried away from the vulnerable confession
"Uhm, I-I don't remember"
Coward, I chastised myself
"Well I can help jog your memory"
He placed a light kiss on my lips, and I turned away. It used to please me but it just feels sad now
"What's wrong?" He pried
A nervous knot had now formed in my stomach, I couldn't.
"I have to go"
Who's hot and cold now? Without looking back I quickly made my way out of his chamber. A dark feeling clouded my mind. I just wanted to curl up and cry.
"Did you do it!" An excited voice made its presence known
Of course, my handmaids were waiting. The only moment I wanted to be alone, how brilliant
"No. And you are both to leave me alone" I barked sternly
"Why? And why are you...? Don't tell me that scum did anything to you"
I spun around at that accusation
"Did I not tell you to. Leave. Me. Alone?
"What's up your..."
I didn't even care to finish that conversation
I wanted to be alone. And I couldn't care less what anybody thought about that. Why can't I let him go?
I had now reached my chamber and the second I closed its doors my tears started to fall.
All the guilt and upset that man had caused me, my life being ripped from me so long ago, every heartache I ever had started to surface in the form of tears
Fuck. I hugged my knees trying in vain to pull myself together
The damp rag felt cold in my hands. I looked pathetic, tears stained my face and I barely recognized the person who looked back at me in the mirror
I tried smiling or pulling my usual tight, well-mannered grimace but it didn't look the same.
Stale tears creased around my eyes as I attempted to disregard any emotion that thought it could get the best of me.
For 3 hours I had gone through a mountain of feelings, a never-before-felt cycle of sadness and anger ran through my mind. Now in an embarrassing attempt to conceal my emotional activities, I sat with a damp rag in my hands scrubbing my porcelain skin.
The sound of a knock on my door made its way to my sensitive ears. I wanted to scream for the person on the other side to go to hell
But that's the way a tantrum-prone child conducts herself, not a queen. I'm a ruler, I'm set to a higher standard.
Quickly wiping my tears on the rag I made my way towards the door.
Carlisle.
As soon as I saw him on the other side of the door I wrapped my arms around him and like
my tears never stopped I began crying again
"What's wrong, Cara?" He asked his voice filled with concern
Cara... dear
I once again wiped my tears, now on the sleeve of my dress trying to straighten myself out
"Close the door."
He did.
"Tell me please, trust me" he begged
He wanted me to tell him what was wrong when he was the problem.
"I... I can't let you go" I started quietly, "Let's be together"
"Sulpicia," he said sighing loudly as he did
"What..?"
He took my hand gently
"I can't be what you want me to be, I'm sorry,"
No.
Why did this hurt? He wasn't anything to me, well a fling but nothing more than that. I didn't love him. Or maybe I did? Confused thoughts racked my brain, I shouldn't care, I'm basically a queen here and queens don't care about the opinions of peasants. It was my turn to sigh now
"I don't want or expect anything from you and I never have" I turned away as venom tears threatened to spill from my eyes
"Why can't you let me go? Or at least be honest with me? Are you not happy with Aro?"
That made me lose it.
My husband
The man whom I married, the man who promised me everything, the man who has stood by me through everything.
"I do! I love him and I'm trying to forget you because I know we don't love each other but... I guess I like it when people pay attention to me, is that so bad?" My voice was small and frail now, a good depiction of how I was feeling on the inside
"Madame," Carlisle said softly "Talk to your husband, you don't need me I promise. You are a wonderful lady, an elegant and graceful wife and you know that even without my help"
"...Thank you, Carlisle Cullen, you really are a beneficent wizard" I chuckled earning a smile from him. "I guess you won"
"Won?" A look of confusion painted his face
"You rejected me. You won"
"I don't see rejecting you as a win. Romance isn't a war or a competition, it isn't something you win"
He's right. A comfortable silence filled the room.
"I guess this is a bad time to tell you I'm leaving" he laughed softly
"I think that's for the best... Where are you going?"
"I'm gonna try my luck in the new world"
Epilogue:
The snow fell heavily on the ice as our troops stood erect.
In the big crowd, I noticed two faces, one a previous guard I didn't bother getting to know and the other…my healer.
Even though vampires couldn't age he looked older now, his eyes filled with equal parts content, no doubt because of the fact he had built a family, and worry. Worry for the future of his coven, we shared that worry
I caught his gaze from across the field, it had been ages since I knew that man and the previous longing I had felt for him had now turned into nostalgia. The type one gets when they look at old photos.
I had merely heard that he and his son had been sniffing around voltera but I was unsure then. If I could face him.
I made eye contact with another person, a tiny brunette woman, his wife. I searched in her expression for anything directed at me
I sighed, Of course, he hadn't told her. My hand searched as far as it could until I felt the comforting feeling of my sister's hand. It's fine it doesn't mean anything anymore.
May he rest in peace.
A/N: Okay! let's explain some things that need explaining:
1. Carlisle being called a mistress wasn't a typo, it was the others making fun of him
2. Life never got dull with Athenadora and Corin was a slight nod to Corin's powers to make people content with their situation
3. Sulpicia calling the other girls handmaids was her, not only showing she thinks she's better than the others because of her status ( married to the leader and basically queen ) but also her making fun of the others
4. May he rest in peace was pre-battle so she wholeheartedly believed they would kill the Olympic coven and that's why she wished he would rest peacefully
Phew, with that being said thank you so much for reading and supporting this story, it took about a month-ish to write and I hope you loved it just as much as I loved writing it. Maybe I'll write a Denali story next. PS Some good songs that work with this story are Lights by Ellie Goulding, Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths, and White Ferrari by Frank Ocean.