The next car the trio went into was a vast improvement over the Cross-Eyed Ducks car. For one, it looked like an exact replica of Venice, Italy. Crystal clear water stretched as far as the eye could see, with fancy buildings and houses lining the canals and cobblestone sidewalks. Black gondolas gently waded across the water, with denizens gently rowing their oars. The denizens resembled people, but had vegetables or flowers for heads. Mary's blue eyes stretched wide open in awe as she marveled at the scenic beauty around her, and she smiled so big, her cheeks started to hurt, but she barely paid it much notice.
"Ooooh! It's so beautiful here!" Mary proclaimed. She stopped at the edge of the stone platform that the back entrance stood upon, careful not to walk too far, lest she fall into the water.
"My word. This place is certainly lovely," Blanca agreed. "But I imagine getting to the exit won't be easy."
The only one who wasn't ecstatic to be here was Vic. The ordeal with the cross-eyed ducks had passed, and Vic thought he could relax now that he was out of that car. However, his face contorted with disgust when he saw the vast expanse of water before him.
"Just great. First it's birds, now it's water," Vic groaned from atop Mary's left shoulder.
"You don't like water?" Mary asked.
Vic shook his head. "Any large body of water that's bigger than me or a bath gives me the willies," Vic told her. "I can't swim very well."
Understandable. Mary wasn't sure if hamsters were capable of swimming or not. But she could definitely see why Vic would be put off by the vast canals. She herself wasn't much of a swimmer, and preferred shallow waters whenever she and her parents went to a pool or the lake. Any swimming that required not letting her feet touch the ground was impossible, as she always felt like no matter how hard she swam or how much she tried to keep her head above water, she always sank if she didn't have someone or something to hold onto.
"I don't know how to swim either, so I know how you feel," Mary was quick to sympathize with him.
"I'm also not very good with large bodies of water. I absorb water too easily, and it weighs me down if I absorb too much. Hot water would make me melt or dissolve, and that's a death sentence for us marshmallows," Blanca explained.
Hot water could kill Blanca? Mary couldn't stand the thought of that happening. Real marshmallows could dissolve in heated liquids like hot chocolate. Mary kneeled down at the edge of the stone platform and stuck her fingers into the water. It was cold, but not so cold that it hurt her fingers or felt like ice, more like mildly cool. Mary smiled, knowing that since the water wasn't hot, Blanca was in no danger of melting or dissolving.
"I wonder how we'll be able to get to the exit, though?" Mary asked as she pulled her hand out from the water. "Maybe there's a boat we can use?"
"Like that?" Vic pointed towards the water.
A denizen with a cabbage for a head came rowing towards them on a fancy black gondola. Said denizen wore a black and white striped shirt, black pants, and red shoes. "Bon giorno! Welcome to the Venice Car!" The cabbage-headed denizen cajoled in a merry voice.
Even though the denizen had no visible facial features, like eyes or a mouth, it was easy to tell the denizen was happy from the way he welcomed them. "Would you like a ride to the exit?"
"Yes please!" Both Mary and Blanca replied in unison.
The cabbage-headed denizen scooted the gondola closer. "Watch your step," He told them. Mary stepped into the gondola first, and it bobbed slightly under her weight. Right as she sat down, she noticed how narrow it was. Not for herself, but for Blanca, whose whole body was wider than the inside of the gondola. Cabbage Head noticed it as well, putting a hand on his chin in contemplation.
"Hmm…this might be a problem," Cabbage Head mused aloud. "I'm not quite sure you can fit."
Catching on to what he meant, Blanca smiled. "There's no need to worry. I can adjust myself accordingly."
Blanca proceeded to retract her body into herself, shrinking inward, along with growing a set of human-like legs and arms. She even rounded her head, making it resemble a person's head, complete with a chin. In no time at all, Blanca went from a giant marshmallow to a completely white, person-shaped denizen. She even fit both arms through the straps of Vic's big, yellow backpack like any normal person would.
"Is this better?" Blanca asked.
Cabbage Head's frills fluttered. "Definitely! Come on in!" He gestured for her to step into the gondola. Blanca slowly made her way inside, sitting next to Mary as she did so.
As soon as Blanca settled in, Vic crawled out from Mary's dress pocket and hid under one of the wooden seats. The gondola bobbed on the water as Cabbage Head pushed his oar against the dock. Mary remained as still as a statue so she wouldn't fall off, clutching her backpack tightly against herself, as if using it to anchor herself onto the seat. She felt the reverberation going through the gondola as Cabbage Head pushed the oar against the dock, setting them out onto the water. Luckily, once Cabbage Head started rowing, the gondola settled, no longer wobbling with their movements.
With that, all was quiet save for the rhythmic strokes of the oar cutting through the water, which answered back with splashes and glugs against the gondola. Mary had a feeling getting to the exit was going to take a long time at the rate they were going, which she figured was probably intentional. Good thing she made sure to bring some books with her in case she got bored. Even so, she and Blanca did take some time to marvel at the bright, colorful houses that really popped against the blue sky. They looked like they came right out of a painting, and many of them had doors that almost touched the water, with no porches in sight.
"Oooh. These houses are so pretty!" Mary exclaimed, her blue eyes wide with awe as colorful houses ran parallel to the canal as far as the eye could see. "Look! There are even pink ones!"
"They certainly are a sight to see," Blanca noted, smiling as she stole a glance at a bright orange house. A laundry line stretched from one window to another, and white dresses and shirts fluttered in the Venetian wind, as if they were dancing. "I never would have seen this had I remained in the Sweets Car."
Mary wondered if the actual Venice, Italy was like this. But she looked down at the seat and noticed Vic hadn't moved from his spot at all. Was he that scared? He had to be if he hadn't moved an inch.
"Hey, Vic. The houses here are really colorful and pretty. Wanna see?" Mary asked, lowering her voice so as to not scare him. "You can see them from my dress pocket, and you won't fall into the water."
Vic shook his head. "No thanks. I'm perfectly fine here."
He wasn't fine. Mary could tell that much. His voice was sharp and stony, almost grumbly, like how Mary made it whenever she was frustrated or mad. Plus, his body was straight and rigid, like he was doing all he could to not move at all. Mary wondered if his being scared of the water was like how she felt being stuck in the Black Market Car with the slugs.
"We'd best let him have some space," Blanca whispered. "He might want to be alone."
Mary knew the feeling, so she decided to leave Vic be for now. But her heart swelled with concern for him. Won't he be bored doing nothing but sitting under a gondola seat all day? The thought lingered in her mind even as she pulled out her favorite book— A Little Princess —and proceeded to read it. Her mind wandered as she read through the familiar chapters and scenarios, and her ears caught Blanca making conversation with Cabbage Head—who revealed his name was actually Alvise.
"Have you been a gondolier for a long time, Alvise?" Blanca asked.
"Yes, for 20 years now, and I have no plans to retire anytime soon!" Alvise responded back, his voice and frills rippling with cheer.
As much as Mary liked Alvise and his friendly demeanor, his voice was a little loud, so she tried to focus on her book, sometimes repositioning her legs when she felt she was getting stiff and restless. But at the end of every chapter, she looked up to see if Vic had moved. He hadn't. She made it up to chapter six before she decided to talk to him again.
"Hey, Vic. I know just what'll take your mind off things," Mary chirruped, putting her bag down so she could crouch down to his level. "Want me to read you my favorite book out loud?" She slipped a bookmark into some pages and showed Vic her book. "It's called A Little Princess , and it's my favorite."
Vic's ears perked up upon hearing her voice, and he did lift his head up to get a look at her book, but he remained where he was. "Thanks, but no thanks. I already have a copy at home," Vic replied. "Besides, your copy's an abridged version."
"Abridged?" Mary cocked her head to one side, confused by the new word. "What's that mean?"
"To make something shorter by cutting stuff out while keeping the most basic stuff," Vic explained succinctly.
"Wait, really?!" Mary shrieked, looking back at the cover of her book. There was a sentence that said 'Retold from the Frances Hodgson Burnett original.' She had barely paid much attention to it before, but now that she heard Vic explain what the word abridged meant…was this what retold meant? Telling it in a different way? And the sentence referred to an original. Did it mean an original version that didn't have changes made to it?
"Your copy's smaller than mine," Vic added. "The one I have, the original version, has more pages."
"Wow. I had no idea," Mary sat back down on her gondola seat to take in the new information her brain was processing. So A Little Princess actually had a bigger, longer version that she didn't know about until now. "So that means there's a big kid version of it out there!" Mary proclaimed, holding the book and her backpack close in an attempt to squeeze out the excitement bubbling from within her. "Maybe if I get home, I can ask my dad to take me to the bookstore so I can buy it and see how different it is from this one! Thanks for telling me all this, Vic!"
Vic said nothing more, leaving Mary to ruminate on this new information. With this in mind, Mary went back to reading her book…but she frowned after two pages. It was the first time since she got on the train that she had even thought about wanting to go back home, even if it was just for some small thing. It's been a little over a week since she went missing. She told her sister she was alright, so Reagan knew, at the very least, that Mary wasn't dead or anything, and based on her replies, she was relieved that Mary was okay.
What about Caitlin and Leo? Mr. Bryant? Mary's thoughts drifted to them. Were they worried about her? Did they want her to come back just as badly? Were they okay? She wished there was some way she could at least see how they were doing. But she knew she couldn't just get off the train. For the first time in a very long while, she found herself yearning for home. For her father's big, warm hugs. Her sister's smile and advice. The trips to the park, the lake, the bookstore. Hanging out with her friends at school. Mr. Bryant helping her with lessons when she had trouble understanding them. Secretly listening to Reagan playing her oboe.
Mary shook herself out of her reverie and focused on her immediate surroundings. Denizens went about their day on both sides of the canal. She saw two denizens with red roses for heads, wearing floral aprons and exchanging plates of food at what appeared to be a restaurant. One denizen had a patch of grapes for a head and was dipping laundry into the canal water. Mary wondered what kind of lives these denizens lived. But sometimes she went back to reading her book, as she grew bored with staring at the same scenery for a long time. She would occasionally glance back at Vic, who still remained under the seat in the same position as before.
The gondola ride was smooth and pleasant, though at one point, Alvise pulled out a pocket watch from his pants pocket. "Goodness! That reminds me!" Alvise exclaimed before directing the gondola towards a dock nearby. "Sorry, dear passengers. I just remembered I have to run an errand. Would you like to get off the gondola for a bit and take a break while I get what I need?"
Upon hearing the words get off, Vic immediately stood up and shouted "Yes please!" like he couldn't get off the gondola fast enough. Mary recoiled from his sudden shouting, as it was the first time Vic had raised his voice or even moved since he got on the gondola.
Once Alvise parked the gondola and tied a rope to a piling, he gestured for the passengers to disembark. Vic scuttled up Mary's back and settled onto her shoulder, and the two of them got off first. Blanca followed suit, but remained in her humanoid shape. Mary noticed that while Blanca was still taller than her, even while shape-shifted, the marshmallow was slightly shorter in her current form than she was as a marshmallow.
"Alright! I promise to be quick, but I don't know how long I'll be in there, so feel free to relax and stretch your legs!" Alvise told them before sprinting away.
"Whew!" Mary stood up and stretched her arms up into the sky, along with standing on her tip-toes to get the kinks out of her legs. "That's been pretty nice so far!"
"I agree. But I do wonder if we've gotten any closer to the exit," Blanca mused, brushing some dirt off her legs.
Vic bristled his fur, reaching up to scratch his left ear. "It better be soon, because I don't know if I can stand this much longer," He grumbled, his voice still stony and terse.
Mary's eyebrows furrowed. There had to be some way she could help take his mind off being in someplace that scared him. She took a minute to remember all the ways Reagan used to cheer her up when Mary had a bad day. Watching videos on the computer, reading a book together, watching a movie or a show, telling jokes…maybe the last one would work.
"Hey Vic! Wanna tell jokes together?" Mary kneeled down to his level and smiled as she spoke. "I know some funny ones!" She didn't wait for him to answer. "Okay, why do we tell actors to break a leg?"
Vic said nothing, but Mary told him the answer anyway. "Because every play has a cast! Get it?"
"Ooh, I do," Blanca held a hand to her chin as she contemplated the joke briefly.
She looked over at Vic to see if he cracked a smile. Nothing. "Alright, next joke! Have you heard about the new restaurant called karma?"
Yet again, no response from Vic.
"There's no menu! You get what you deserve!" Mary bellowed with laughter upon saying the answer. "My dad taught me that one!" She persisted, fishing for any kind of response.
Instead of laughter, Vic shot a glare at her. "Mary. I am seriously not in the mood for jokes right now."
The chill in his voice was enough to make everyone shudder. The tension was getting excruciating. Everything Mary tried was failing, and she had run out of options at this point. "Vic, I'm trying to make you happy and take your mind off the water," Mary told him. She could feel herself trembling slightly as she groped for anything she could think of to make him happy. "I know you're scared, but it won't be much longer until we get to the exit, and I don't want you to be bored."
Vic curled into a ball. "Mary, this isn't a conversation I want to have right now."
Blanca's eyes drooped. Tension was building, and she could tell this wasn't going to end well. She instinctively acted to mitigate the situation. "Mary, sometimes trying to take one's mind off their fear isn't enough. Everyone has their own ways of dealing with things they're afraid of, and Vic is doing all he can to keep himself together."
"But Blancaaaa! Vic's been sad for hours and my teacher says it's good to cheer up someone who's sad and try to make them happy!" Mary argued, unable to comprehend why none of her attempts at helping him worked. "We would act out scenes in class and play pretend, and Mr. Bryant would tell us what we did right, what we did wrong, and how we can do it differently! That's how we learn social skills and now I'm trying to put them to use and it's not…!"
Mary trailed off as the realization hit her like a lightning bolt in a blue sky. The whole situation wasn't going in the way the social skills role-plays she and other kids acted out in class usually would. One lesson went over cheering up people who were sad, and often the solutions consisted of listening to them, offering moral support, or actively trying to cheer them up, like telling jokes or offering to play with them. Even outside of the role-playing, whenever she saw Reagan was upset, she always managed to cheer her up by either telling her jokes, sharing candy with her, or giving her a hug. Same with her father. Nothing she tried worked for Vic. Did being surrounded by water, or even being in this car, frighten him that much? It wasn't like Vic was in any immediate danger, and unlike the Black Market Car, which was grimy and overrun with slugs, the Venice Car was pretty safe, even when riding on gondolas as long as one was careful.
"Well, this isn't pretend, and I'm not an actor in a play!" Vic half-shouted.
'Don't push it further,' Mary's consciousness echoed in the confines of her mind. 'Just leave him alone. He'll go back to his usual self if you give him his space. You can't rush these things, and you're annoying him right now.'
But she ignored her mind's warning and continued to argue. "I'm just trying to help you! That's what friends do, right?" Mary proclaimed. Most people would kill for at least one person to be there for them when they're scared and cheer them up. Why wouldn't Vic take her up on her offers to cheer him up?
"You can help by giving me some space," Vic reminded her. "I really don't want to be cheered up right now. Please understand."
She tried giving him space, and it didn't work. It felt as if the space between them was freezing over, glossy and treacherous like thin ice on a freshly frozen lake. Even Blanca wasn't quite sure what to do, as she kept nervously glancing between the two of them in their awkward silence. Mary sucked in a breath, the sea air burning her lungs as her hands curled into tight fists. This was so frustrating. She was doing everything she could to be there for Vic and make him happy, but he didn't seem to want to appreciate it. Being scared was one thing, but..her mind grabbed hold of an uncharacteristically dark thought, and before she could stop herself, the words spilled out.
"Fine. Be that way," Mary muttered bitterly. "I guess I shouldn't try to cheer up someone who likes being miserable—" She cut herself off the second the venomous thought was vocalized, and her hollow voice broke in her ears.
Unfortunately, Vic heard every word. His tiny eyes flashed fire, and his reflexes came to life. He jumped right onto Mary's hand and proceeded to sink his front teeth into the skin.
"Owww!" Mary yelped, waving her hand to get him off. There was no need, as Vic released her right afterward and jumped back onto the floor.
"Vic! You needn't have—" Blanca attempted to scold him, but the irate hamster cut her off.
"You have no right to decide what I should and shouldn't feel!" Vic screamed at the top of his lungs. "You know how scared I am of water! I've told you this, and I've been telling you hundreds of times to give me some space, to leave me alone, and you refused to respect my wishes and personal boundaries! And you have the nerve to say that I enjoy being miserable?!"
"That's not—I'm sorry, I—I don't—!" One word crashed into the other as Mary groped for something to say to contradict him. Nothing came to mind.
"My emotions and feelings don't come with a damn on-off switch you can flip whenever it's convenient! Did it ever occur to you that you can't just tell someone to be happy or sad or whatever?!" Vic shouted, baring his teeth as he did so. "You should know this! You've been through that kinda stuff with your damn mom! But when it's somebody else going through the same thing, you just want them to get over it because you can't be bothered to acknowledge their fears as valid or listen when they tell you to not do something?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Vic's angry voice exploded in her ears, and not even covering them with her hands worked to muffle it. Every word was like a salted knife being stabbed into her, and Mary could feel tears swelling in her eyes. Her throat swelled and closed up, rendering communication impossible.
"Vic, there's no need to lash out," Blanca reminded him, trying to keep her tone tempered. "What Mary said was wrong, yes, but we can handle this more maturely. Let's just—"
"Don't you dare defend her, Blanca! She needs to hear this! She needs to feel ashamed!" Vic hollered back at her.
"She already is ashamed! Do you really think screaming at her is going to help?!" Blanca shot back, her voice sharper than usual.
Paying her no heed, Vic continued his tirade, turning right back to Mary as he did so, his furry face contorting with anger. "Let me ask you something, Mary. Did you want to cheer me up because you actually wanted to make me happy, or was it only because my being scared of water was inconvenient for you and you didn't like it?"
Mary opened her mouth to respond…but nothing came out, and her face blanched as she took a step back. Did she really want to make him happy, or was he right? That she only wanted to cheer him up because seeing him scared made her uncomfortable?
As far as Vic was concerned, her silence spoke volumes. "Hmph. I really thought you were my friend. But I guess you only see me as some prop for your own validation or social skills practice, don't you?"
Now this, she wasn't going to let slide. "That's not true!" Mary shouted, finally rising to her own defense. "I'm sorry I said what I did just now! It just slipped out!"
"Like hell you are! Quit with the excuses!" Vic yelled, stamping his foot on the ground twice. "You've done nothing but pester me and disrespect my personal boundaries and dismissed my feelings like they meant nothing to you! You flat-out accused me of enjoying being miserable! Do you see me doing the same thing to you?! No! And you say all this stuff even though you've been through it lots of times before!"
Then he went for a low blow. "How does this make you any different from that damn mother you hate so much?!"
What?
Both Mary and Blanca's jaws fell agape, appalled by what just spilled out from his mouth. Was he serious?
He actually claimed that Mary was somehow no different from her own mother?
Mary's pulse rushed through her body, and blood pounded in her ears. She knew she had said something she shouldn't have, so she knew Vic was right to scold her on that. Even if it was an accident, she did hurt his feelings and knew she should have listened to him instead of pressing the issue. But did that really warrant comparing her to her mother? Even when Vic had never even met her mother before? How would he know if they were similar or not? Her world ground to a halt and heat rose in her chest. She did not appreciate Vic calling her integrity into question…and saying she was like her mother?
Now that was a line he shouldn't have crossed!
"NO! I'm nothing like Mom! How can you even say that?!" Mary shouted. Attempts to blink away her tears failed, and they trickled out as soon as she rose to her own defense. He had no idea what she had been through, so he had no right to claim she was no different from the person who made her life hell. "Why is me trying to help you such a bad thing?!"
"I told you I didn't want help! I'd ask for it if I did! And I told you the best way to help me right now was to leave me alone, and you didn't listen! You're still not listening even now!" Vic roared right back, his fur bristling.
"Alright, enough!" Finally, Blanca stepped in. She coiled her hand around Vic and lifted him up, holding her other one in front of Mary, keeping her from moving. "I think you both need to step back and cool off. Vic, come with me real quick. Mary, you stay here and take a minute or two to calm down."
With Vic still in her hand, Blanca walked away from the pier and into an alley close by. Vic struggled and pushed on her hand to try and free himself to no avail. Once they were out of sight, Mary found herself alone with the gondola. She put her backpack and Mimi down on the ground to give her back a break, then sat down next to it. Anger simmered inside her, boiling her up from the inside.
"Why does Vic have to be so mean?!" Mary screeched, shaking her fists up and down to push the anger out. It didn't work. "All I wanted was to cheer him up! What's so bad about that?! Why is this going so wrong?!"
None of this made any sense. She had tried to give him space, but she could tell Vic was still upset the entire time he was on the gondola. Did he mean give him space until they exited the car? She would have left him alone had he just told her that. At this point, she didn't know what to think. But…a part of her wondered if he was actually right. Did she really want to make him happy for his sake, or her own? Was she no different from her mother in that aspect? Previously, Mary had been happy to have a friend like Vic, who seemed to understand her pain and loneliness. But at this point, he probably wanted nothing to do with her anymore, and saying sorry didn't seem to work.
Mary looked over at the gondola…and lightning struck in her mind. If Vic wanted her to leave him alone, she'd do just that. Although her heart protested, reminding her that this was dangerous, she paid the internal warnings no heed. She sat in the gondola and reached over to the piling to undo the rope, which was surprisingly loose and easy to undo. She pulled one of Alvise's oars out of the gondola and pushed it against the peer, allowing her to set out onto the canal. Maybe it was better this way.
"I'll go through the train by myself," Mary muttered to herself as she pushed the oar through the water to propel the gondola forward. "If Vic doesn't want me around, fine. No matter what I do…it's never good enough…I bet Blanca will be better off without me, too."
Her consciousness pleaded with her to stay, that this was a reckless, dangerous thing to do, that she ought to just wait things out and apologize again when Vic cooled down a bit. But considering how her mother seemed to love holding Mary's mistakes over her head even years after the fact, she was sure Vic would probably do the same, since he was so angry about it. Tears trickled out as she pushed the oar into the water to move the gondola. Guilt weighed her down. One mistake was all it took to completely ruin everything. One single mistake, one slip of the tongue, and it all came crashing down. Mary wished she had just kept her mouth shut and left him alone like he asked.
Another thought came to mind: Maybe her mother was right. Maybe all she ever did was cause trouble for everyone around her. Maybe she really was a burden, like her mother said she was, doing nothing but hold everyone back. Thank goodness she still had Mimi. Otherwise, she didn't know what she'd do.
Wait…where was Mimi?
Mary looked down. Her backpack and Mimi were nowhere in sight. She looked up, right at the peer, and saw her backpack and Mimi near the end, gasping as the realization hit her. She had put them down so she could get herself onto the gondola, planning to take them with her, but was so wrapped up in her anger that she forgot to bring them with her. Her eyes widened and in her panicked delirium, she shot up from the gondola.
"Mimi!" She pulled the oar out from the water and tried to move it to the other side
But when she attempted to position herself, the gondola bobbed wildly, and…she lost her balance. Craning downward, Mary let out a scream as water consumed her whole.
Today was not a good day for Dana Summers. Her car was surrounded by other cars, all of them stuck in a big traffic jam on the Squirrel Hill Tunnel, and all moving at a glacial pace. At this point, she had been stuck here for about an hour, and while she was closer to the tunnel than before, waiting was no less irritating. Even putting the radio on didn't ease the tension amassing within her. Then again, she had spent another hour being interrogated by the police, and about her blog, no less. Her heart pulsated in her chest, and she pressed her teeth down on her lower lip as she recalled the interrogation.
"They have a lot of nerve, going through my personal blog like that," Dana muttered to herself, her words dripping with venom.
It wasn't just the blatant invasion of her privacy that left her simmering. The only other people that knew about the blog were some other mothers at the autism support group she attended and some friends on the internet she shared the link with. Even though the blog was technically public, that didn't mean the detective overseeing Mary's case had permission to see it, as far as Dana was concerned. It wasn't even that the detective actually believed she was going to go through with sterilizing Mary when she turned 18.
"Just because I wrote something out on the internet doesn't mean I'm actually going to do it! I was just venting!" Dana had shouted at Detective Outteridge when he questioned her about it. As far as Dana was concerned, that statement was just a bad thought she wrote out to get it out of her system. Said sterilization wasn't even set in stone. Not yet, anyway. Besides, what choices Dana made for her daughter were nobody's business. It wasn't even that they suspected her of abusing Mary, with the blog detailing all that she had done to her. What could they possibly know about abuse? They didn't live through it like Dana did.
No, it was something that Detective Outteridge had asked her about earlier.
"Do you think it's possible that Mary saw the blog and all that you wrote about her?" Dt. Outteridge's words echoed in her mind like a bad dream. "Because if I was a child and found out my mother basically broadcasted to the entire internet that she hates me and my whole existence, I'd be crushed."
Mary? See her blog? And understand everything Dana wrote about her? Impossible. There was just no way. Dana was always careful never to keep her blog open for all to see. Not even minimized whenever she had it open. She even made sure to clear it from her internet history whenever possible. She didn't want her husband seeing it and jumping to conclusions about her. Besides, it wasn't like she could trust Todd with anything anymore, since he pulled Mary out of ABA against Dana's wishes. And even if Mary did see her blog, there was no way she could understand anything that Dana wrote. She knew nothing about things like power of attorney or sterilization, and she still struggled with reading comprehension, if her teacher's notes were anything to go by. Mary was nine years old. She didn't need to learn about those things.
At least, that was what Dana told herself.
Her phone blared to life, the ringtone making a merry, musical chime. Dana glanced at the name on the caller ID. It was an unknown number. Probably a telemarketer. As much as she wanted to ignore it, a part of her reasoned that maybe someone was trying to reach her. Maybe a friend she forgot to name in her contacts. Maybe it was a telemarketer. Who knew? At this point, Dana was bored, and her frustration mounted. Answering it would at least pass the time. With a grunt, Dana swiped the green phone button upward.
"Hello?"
"Dana! About time you answered!" The raspy voice of an elderly woman croaked from the other line. "You've been ignoring my calls for months! You really should know better than to ignore your mother like that, young lady!"
Great. The one person she never wanted to talk to again. Dana's expression contorted with disgust. As much as she wanted to just hang up on her, she knew doing that would be futile, as her mother would just keep calling her until she got what she wanted and said her piece.
"Mother, I really don't have time to talk right now," Dana's voice cracks, harsher than her greeting. "My youngest daughter's missing and I'm out looking for her."
"Oh, I'm well aware. It's been all over the news," Her mother said. "You really need to keep a closer eye on your children. A good mother is always attentive."
Good grief. Dana shrugged, but her brows furrowed. Just like that, her mother dropped barbed words on her as easily as putting mail in the mailbox. She had braced herself, but every hit seemed to hurt worse than the last. Not only that, Dana had been nothing but attentive to Mary, and look what happened. She shook her head lamely. Her mother wouldn't understand.
"It's not like we were out and she just wandered off. She was kidnapped," Dana hissed through clenched teeth, and her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Dana knew her house had no signs of forced entry, and there was still no solid evidence that she even was kidnapped, like unfamiliar footprints or signs of a struggle. All they knew was that Mary's window had been opened early in the morning and that she was gone when they woke up. But Dana knew her mother wouldn't care how Mary disappeared. "By who, we have no idea, and the police have been searching for her this past week and a half."
"Maybe you ought to invest in one of those newfangled security systems from now on," Her mother sneered.
If there was one thing Dana hated more than anything, it was people thinking her problems had a quick-and-easy solution when there couldn't possibly be one.
"I mean, you do work, don't you?" Her mother continued, her voice bordering on condescending. "I honestly don't see why you have to. Maybe if you didn't work so much and did what you were supposed to do, you'd have been able to keep a better hold on that spoiled brat of yours."
"That's not the reason why she's gone!" Dana shouted, slamming her hands on both sides of the steering wheel. "Stop trying to make everything out to be my fault! I have enough on my plate as it is without you adding to it with your constant nitpicking!"
Dana was trapped. She felt trapped her whole life. Trapped in this traffic jam. Trapped in a house where she was used as a tool for her parents' performance evaluation. Trapped in a house raising an unruly child who would probably never be normal according to Dr. Goldman. Trapped in a possibly crumbling marriage, and now, trapped yet again with her mother's voice chipping away at what little sanity and composure she had.
"You ought to be grateful that I actually bother to call you and check on you!" Her mother screeched. "I wouldn't be nitpicking if you had just accepted my help and advice to begin with!"
"Says the woman who looked through my husband's cell phone and wrote down my number even when I told you to never talk to me or call me ever again! Do you honestly think after everything you've put me through, that I ever wanted your so-called help and advice?!"
A staticky sigh crackled on the other end of Dana's cellphone. "Tch. What else is new? Dana Summers ignoring sound advice and refusing to acknowledge when she's completely and utterly failed," She scoffed. "I never should have let you run off to Pennsylvania and shack up with that spineless, floppy noodle you call a husband. You let your kids run wild and don't even bother to discipline them—"
"I discipline them just fine, thank you very much!" Dana shot back, but her mother paid her no heed and continued talking over her. "And don't talk about my husband like that!"
"—And now you've let one of them go missing because you can't be bothered to keep them under control."
"I do nothing BUT try to keep Mary under control! That's all I've ever done for the past eight years!"
It was here that Dana noticed traffic was finally starting to move like normal again. Cars were gradually gaining speed around her, and she slowly put her foot on the gas.
"The fact that you couldn't prevent her from getting kidnapped proves you're an unfit mother. Always have been," Her mother growled, her venom only growing more potent with every word.
Unfit mother. The two words put together echoed in her mind on repeat, like a broken record player. It was like she could never escape that label.
"I don't have to listen to your bullshit! I'm done!" Dana barked before swiping the red icon across her phone.
"Don't you dare hang up on me, young lady—" Her mother attempted to get the last word, but her line got cut off.
Everything around her turned orange as she drove into the tunnel. Not even seeing the aftermath of the car accident pulled Dana from her thoughts. In a way, Dana was happy her mother was at the very least being honest with her feelings, rather than feigning contentment and making everyone, herself included, play pretend at being a functional, happy family. But knowing that did nothing to alleviate the pain she endured over the past few decades. It was obvious her mother saw Mary going missing as yet another attempt to criticize Dana and her life choices. Did she seriously think mothers could see into the future and set up magical barriers that prevented children from leaving their houses or intruders coming in? It wasn't like they could afford a security system. Those things cost thousands of dollars, which Dana didn't have.
Was there no end to her turmoil? Dana heaved a great big sigh, her eyes blank and desolate as she kept her eyes on the road. All around her, there was so much life. Sounds from every direction…and Dana wondered where she fit among them. Would there ever be some place Dana could escape to?
Dana wasn't sure. She thought things would be better now that Mary was gone. Only now did she realize that wasn't the case at all.
"Put me down!" Vic struggled from within Blanca's surprisingly tight grip. For a squishy marshmallow, her grip was really strong. It wasn't long before they found a quiet alleyway, and Blanca set him down on a wooden box. When he looked up, he saw a stern expression on Blanca's face that was very unlike her. In a way, it made chills run down his spine.
Blanca let out a sigh before she spoke. "Vic, I understand you're angry. You have every right to be. Mary shouldn't have said what she did, even if she didn't mean anything by it," She kept her voice calm and composed, though Vic could hear lingering frustration as well. "But you know lashing out at her isn't the best course of action."
Vic turned his head away. "Yeah, well, it's her fault for not respecting my space and personal boundaries!" Vic spat. "And saying I enjoy being miserable! Well, I don't! I just don't want to be in a train car that's full of water! It's like when Mary was in the Black Market Car and couldn't stand the slugs! It's the same thing, and we respected her right to be afraid! But she thinks she has the right to control how I feel?!"
"I highly doubt that was her intention," Blanca reminded him. "She only wanted to cheer you up, that's all. I do agree that she should have respected your personal boundaries, but you have to understand, she told us she isn't like regular passengers. She said it's harder for her to understand or process certain concepts as quickly and as well as other people do. I'm not saying that's an excuse, but it's something to at least take into consideration."
The hamster remembered what Mary told him in the Heian Era Car. Blanca was right. Mary mentioned being autistic, and that made it harder for her to understand or process the world around her…and all the pain people who didn't understand or accept it caused her. His tiny, furry body deflated.
"Besides, it's likely she was just restless and bored from the gondola ride," Blanca said. "You have to remember, she's still a child. Children say things they don't mean all the time, and we both know for a fact that Mary isn't the type of person who would only do things for her own self-satisfaction. Why would she save you from the cross-eyed ducks if she genuinely didn't care about you?"
The ducks…how could he have forgotten? His contorted, angry face softened as he remembered Mary holding off the ducks with the umbrella spear he gave her. She could have easily just let the ducks eat him and go on her merry way. She was under no obligation to help him in any way…but she did. Hell, she even offered to let him join her on her journey, when so many others had rejected him. After all that she did, how could he not see her as a friend? Only now did the gravity of his previous words sink in. Remorse overtook him.
"I'm an idiot of the highest order…" Vic curled back into a ball, hiding his face in shame. "How could I say those things to her?"
Blanca kneeled down and stroked his fur with one finger. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Vic. You and Mary both just need to cool off for however long you need, and you can apologize to one another when you feel you're ready. It's not the end of the world," Blanca reminded him, her voice returning to its dulcet sweetness. "You're both learning and growing up, and that's what life is all about."
"...this isn't my first rodeo."
"Hm?"
Vic slowly uncurled, turning around to face the wall. "You saw how the other hamsters in my car are, right?" He asked. "After those kids attacked us, everyone became a lot more nervous and on edge, treating every passenger who passed through with disdain."
"I'm well aware," How could Blanca forget? When she and Mary went through the Hamster Car, the denizens wanted them out as soon as possible.
"Me and my parents are the only ones who didn't change our views on passengers," Vic continued on. "We helped people who would stop by whenever possible, but all the other hamsters seemed to take it as a personal offense. Like we were committing some kind of crime. Dad said it was best to leave the other hamsters alone, as we can't forcibly change their worldview. But…" Vic's voice faltered, and he curled his hand into a fist. "They wanted us to be just like them, and were pretty persistent, too."
Vic looked over a large set of blueprints set out over his table. He moved all the books he had on there to the front of one of his shelves so he could have space to work. There was so much that needed to be done. The roof and ceiling were completely gone, so Vic's brick house was completely exposed from the top. But he was too small to take that on by himself, so for the time being, he needed to fix what he knew he could fix. After glancing over the blueprints, he scuttled over to one side of his house and began examining a large yellow tube that he had lying around. He wanted to make sure it was sturdy enough to hold his weight. Tapping on it twice, he could feel it was reasonably light, but not too light. He put both hands at the edges of one end, dragging it across the house, but stopped when his ears caught footsteps. He looked over at the entrance. A group of hamsters watched him from the entrance, with arms crossed and eyes narrowed into disapproving slits.
"What are you guys doing here?" Vic groaned. "I'm busy right now."
"We were hoping to get you to see reason," One hamster with gray fur replied tersely.
Vic knew what they were implying, and had zero interest in humoring them. "Well guess what? I'm not interested in anything you have to say," He spat back at them before hoisting the yellow tube upright. "Unless you want to help me rebuild my house."
The hamsters all exchanged concerned glances. As far as Vic was concerned, their silence spoke volumes. A hamster with brown fur and darker stripes walked into his house and spoke next. "Vic, please. We're concerned that this obsession of yours is clouding your judgment," She said.
"Clouding my judgment?" Vic sneered. "My judgment is just fine, thank you very much! I'm not the one treating every single passenger that walks through here like dirt just because they're human!"
Another hamster, a pure white one, immediately ran over to his books and began rummaging through them. "Hey! Don't touch those!" Vic shouted, dropping the tube and rushing over to take the book back. But the white hamster persisted, clamping both hands on the corner of the hardcover book and attempting to pull it away.
"These cursed objects need to be purged!" The white hamster bellowed. "You'll thank us for chewing them up or setting them on fire later!"
Other hamsters rushed into the house as well, ransacking the place. The gray hamster kicked an antique lamp off a cabinet, and the colored glass exploded into shards as soon as it made contact with the floor. Several other hamsters began throwing books onto the floor, ripping or chewing through the pages. Vic's jaw fell agape. He couldn't believe what he was playing out before him. He knew all the other hamsters were terrified of humans, but…here they were, ransacking his house, destroying his property even though he told them to keep their hands off it!
"Stop! Stop it!" Vic screamed, unable to take it anymore. He kicked two hamsters off the book they were ripping up, and threw a small pillow at three others who were tearing up a knitted scarf.
"What's all that noise?" An older hamster with Vic's color scheme crawled over the brick walls. When he saw the carnage taking place, the older hamster's eyes flared with anger. "HEY! Take your hands off our property!"
The hamster's voice boomed all across the area, and with Vic's house having no ceiling, it seemed to reverberate. Thankfully, to Vic's relief, the hamsters put a stop to their destruction and scuttled back to the entrance.
"Dad…" It was rare for Vic to see his father showing anger. He was usually calm and composed. Vic's father crawled down the brick wall and stood right in front of the coffee table that was covered by Vic's blueprints, staring daggers at the other hamsters. It was as if he dared them to even so much as lay a hand on his property again.
Unfortunately for them, the gray hamster refused to budge. "You two are insane! How can you possibly behave the way you do after what those hellions did to us?! We're trying to help you see the error of your ways!"
Vic's father shook his head grimly. "I fail to see what's so wrong about acquiring knowledge from passengers, Nils," He said, his voice a calmer, deeper baritone than before. "You have every right to fear humans and passengers, and you know we won't force you to change your way of thinking. But don't you think resorting to destroying our things just because we don't share your beliefs is a little overkill? Do you see us doing the same to your property?"
The gray hamster—Nils—bared his teeth, his face contorting into visceral disgust. "You Liberatores think you're so much better than the rest of us, don't you?" Nils' tone bordered on patronizing. "Acting all high and mighty with all that knowledge of the outside world you've acquired!" Nils began waving his index finger at both Vic and his father, shouting as he did so. "I can't imagine why you enjoy being miserable so much!"
Enjoy being miserable? What did he mean? Vic couldn't believe his ears. What right did these hamsters have to barge into his house, destroy most of his property, jump to conclusions about them, and act like they were doing him some great service? And they claimed Vic and his family enjoyed being miserable? Just because they didn't share their view of passengers? Vic couldn't keep it in anymore.
"Oh, suck it, asshole!" Vic roared right back at him, stomping right up to him and leaning in so close, their noses were only centimeters apart. "We're not the miserable ones here! We're not the ones going around destroying people's stuff just because we don't think like you do! When are you gonna accept that not every single passenger that comes through here is like those damn Apex kids?!"
None of the hamsters had a response. But as far as Vic was concerned, their silence spoke volumes.
"I'll handle this, Vic," His father put a reassuring hand on his shoulder before approaching the group. "Nils, everyone…we understand you're afraid, and we're more than happy to respect that. But we would very much appreciate it if you respect our way of life and don't try to dictate how we should live it."
"So stay in your lane and we'll stay in ours!" Vic couldn't resist getting one last parting shot on. "If you guys wanna sit in the mud, you do that! But you don't get to drag us down with you!"
Realizing that this was going nowhere, the hamsters finally decided to leave Vic's house, with Nils being the last to leave. The tension in the air finally dissipated, but Vic frowned as he looked upon the state of his house…or what was left of it. Several books had pages torn out or were chewed into pieces. His antique lamp was little more than a pile of glass shards. The knitted scarf he once used for warmth was now reduced to yarn. Other knick-knacks he and his parents acquired were scattered to and fro, with some broken into pieces. Like it wasn't bad enough their house had been destroyed previously.
Vic's father flashed a smile as he picked up a piece of yarn. "It'll be alright, Vic," He told his son reassuringly. "How about we get back to work? There's nothing that'll keep us down."
Getting back to work would certainly take his mind off things. Vic smiled at his father and nodded.
"My word…" Other than those two words, Blanca found herself speechless when Vic finished his story.
"I know Mary didn't mean anything by it," Vic said. "And a part of me knew that. But hearing those words 'you enjoy being miserable' ...just brought that memory back, and…I shouldn't have lost it and said what I did. I just…" Vic grunted as he slammed his fist on the wooden box he sat upon. "I'm just so damn sick of people telling me who I'm supposed to be and punishing me for wanting to be myself!"
Oddly enough, Blanca held a hand to her mouth to stifle a chuckle.
"What's so funny?" Vic asked tersely.
"I apologize. It's just…it seems you and Mary are a lot alike," Blanca pointed out.
Vic and Mary? Alike? How so? Before Vic could ask, a high pitched scream cut through the air. It belonged to a voice they recognized right away. Vic and Blanca sprinted from the alley and back to the pier. The black gondola they rode on was back on the water, laying on its side. A black haired figure splashed water everywhere in an attempt to stay afloat, and they kept bobbing up and down into the canal. Both Vic and Blanca blanched when they realized who it was and what was happening.
"Help meeeeee!" It was Mary.
"Crap! Mary needs help!" Vic cried out.
So many questions ran through his head, and they all froze him in place. What was Mary doing out there? How'd she even get out onto the water? How could he even help her? He was too small to just go in and try to save her, lest he wind up drowning himself. What could he even do?
"Vic," Blanca's voice brought him back to reality. "Go find Alvise. You can track him by smell, can't you?"
Vic lowered his nose to the ground and caught Alvise's scent. "Sure can! Be right back!" At least Blanca gave him one thing he could do. With Alvise's scent locked into his nostrils, Vic sprinted away from the pier, leaving Blanca all by herself. The human-shaped marshmallow looked all around, hoping to find something she could use to help Mary. Her energy was seeping away fast. Luckily, she found something she could use, a large, round lifesaver ring, white with orange stripes, and with a thick rope. She pulled it from the piling.
"Mary! Grab onto this!" Blanca called out as loud as she could. With the flotation ring in hand, the marshmallow stretched her arm as long as possible, right toward Mary. Once she held the ring close enough, Mary wasted no time twining both arms around it.
"I'll pull you back slowly! Don't let go no matter what!" Blanca shouted. Mary nodded and held on as the marshmallow carefully pulled her back, with one hand on the ring, and the other pulling the rope for extra security. She didn't want to pull her in too fast, because if she did, Mary might slip and let go by accident.
Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Blanca pulled Mary out of the water and onto the pier. At this time, Vic returned with Alvise following behind him. Mary coughed and hacked water out of her system, her clothes and hair sopping wet, clinging to her body on all sides.
"Mary! Are you okay?" Blanca asked.
Mary kept coughing, unable to answer right away, but she saw Vic approaching her with a worried look on his face. When he got close, Mary instantly recoiled, scrambling away from him. She took a minute to process Blanca and Alvise staring at her with equally worried expressions…and her eyesight blurred. Tears trickled out, and everything was too much to bear. She immediately broke into a crying fit before standing up and running away.
"I'M SORRYYYYY!" Mary screamed before sprinting away from the scene, leaving a trail of wet shoe prints behind her.
It took no time at all for Vic to figure out what she was apologizing for, and guilt weighed him down further. He barely noticed Blanca setting his backpack down and leaving to go after her. But his peripheral vision did catch Blanca…shrinking.
As for Mary, she ran into an empty alley, sitting down between two trash cans, curling into a ball, and bawling into her arms. She didn't care that her clothes and hair were wet. As far as she was concerned, this might as well be a fitting punishment for not listening to Vic and leaving him alone when he told her to several times and saying that he liked being miserable. How could she have said that to her friend? At this point, Mary wouldn't blame Vic at all if he decided he didn't want to be friends with her anymore after that. Who would want to hang out with someone who was so dismissive of their feelings and fears? Mary's tiny body was wracked with sobs, and the tears seemed endless.
"How does that make you any different from that damn mother you hate so much?!" Vic's words, like shards of glass, tore into her memories. Was Vic right? Was she a lot like her mother and was deluding herself into thinking she wasn't? Maybe she really was just a whiny, entitled brat who couldn't handle the harshness of reality, or didn't have empathy, like many of the weird doctors her parents took her to said.
Surely, that was the case, right?
"Mary?" Blanca's sweet voice, like a river flowing through a vast desert, pierced through the garbled static of her self-deprecating thoughts. "Mary. I'm glad you're okay."
"Well, don't be! You should have let me drown!" Mary shot back. "I didn't deserve to be saved after the mean things I said to Vic! You should be telling me I'm a bad kid who doesn't care about anybody but myself and that my mom was right to hate me! That Vic is right to be angry at me!"
"Why would I do that?" Blanca asked. "I hardly think your mistake warrants a punishment so…extreme. But can I ask…did you try to take the gondola and leave all by yourself?"
Mary gave a slow nod.
"Why?"
"I thought you and Vic would be better off without me," Mary sputtered, keeping her focus on her arms and the darkness that came from closing her eyes. "Vic said to leave him alone, so I figured I'd do just that. Besides…I know all I do is hold you back and make you guys mad. You don't have to lie or pretend to like me."
"Now Mary, that's certainly not what Vic meant by leaving him alone. Neither of us want you to leave. Not permanently, and you know we're not pretending to like you," Blanca reminded her. "He only wanted some space until we left the car, that's all. It's like how you couldn't stand to be in the Black Market Car because of the slugs."
Come to think of it…that did make sense. She did wonder about that earlier, but wasn't sure if she should ask him about it, as her mother told her it was rude to ask someone personal questions. There was so much she wished she could have done. Anything except what she actually did in response to Vic wanting her to respect his personal boundaries.
"Let me ask you something, Mary," Blanca said. "In your world, did you ever have times where you were sad to the point of not wanting to be cheered up? Were you ever in a place that you absolutely hated and wanted to get out of there no matter what, but couldn't?"
Mary stopped to ruminate on Blanca's question. Actually, there had been plenty of times like that. The ABA sessions, for one, but she wasn't sure she could really explain that to Blanca well enough. She barely understood them herself. It had been so long ago, and it was hard to put what she experienced into words, if at all. She lifted her head up from her tear stained arms to think about it a little more. One memory came rushing right back.
"I remember one time last year, my parents took Reagan and I to one of their friend's houses for a party," Mary explained. "But people were talking really loud and the music was loud. Mom wouldn't let me bring earplugs or Mimi, and she kept wanting me to talk to people there, even when I was tired and didn't want to."
Everything came back to her like she had experienced it just yesterday. The loud rock music playing on a big radio. Bearded faces and overly curious eyes looking down at her, expecting her to parrot greetings and answers to weird questions she barely understood. Noise in every direction. People taking up all possible space, leaving her with nowhere to run. Her mother glaring at her whenever she either wanted to hide or said something she thought was inappropriate, even when it wasn't worth making a fuss over. At one point during the party, Mary went into the basement and found a big, plush couch to sit on. The basement was quiet and she sat in there for probably the better part of half an hour, savoring the silence for as long as she could.
"Mom found me later on, and she was mad," Mary told Blanca, remembering the scolding she received when her mother tracked her down, along with her venomous voice.
"What are you doing in here? You need to come back upstairs!"
"Mom, it's too loud and crowded."
"I don't want to hear your excuses. You get back out there and socialize like you're supposed to!"
"But I'm tired!"
Mary winced when she remembered her mother's fingernails digging into the skin of her arm as she dragged her out of the basement. "Just because you like being miserable, doesn't mean you get to humiliate me in front of my friends and colleagues!" She had hissed right in her face, her anger spilling out all around Mary, and there was no escape. "Go out there. Eat the food. Look people in the eye when they talk to you. Pretend to be interested in someone else's feelings for once. You're not going to pull these tricks on me and make me into the freak-show of Woodland Hills."
Wait…Dana had claimed Mary somehow "enjoyed being miserable," ignoring the fact that Mary just wanted to hide from the noise and crowds.
Just like she herself did to Vic when all he wanted was to get to the exit and leave the Venice Car forever.
A new wave of guilt washed over her. It was here that Vic's words and accusations finally sunk in.
"Maybe…maybe I am just like my mom. I said something horrible to Vic…I did the same thing to him that Mom did to me!" Mary broke into another pitiful sob as she finally understood the gravity of what she had done.
A squishy hand rested on Mary's wet pant leg. "You understand now why what you did was wrong. But that doesn't mean you can't learn from it. You've done so before," Blanca reassured her. "Let me ask you: Do you want to be like your mother?"
Did she? Mary knew the answer to that, and it was easy as pie to decide. "No. Not at all. I don't ever want to be like her, even if we are…similar in some ways. I don't want to be mean and cruel and hurt people's feelings like she does or make people do stuff they don't want to even after they say no."
"Then that's all there is to it. Besides, I highly doubt a bad person would feel guilty about their actions and want to apologize, now would they?"
Good point there. Mary wiped her eyes. Blanca was right. Even if she and her mother were similar in some ways, that didn't make Mary a clone of her. Mary didn't want to be like her mother. She needed to apologize to Vic and make things right.
"I'm sorry, Blanca. For taking off with the gondola and worrying you," Mary lifted her head up from her arms and looked towards Blanca…her mouth fell open when she saw that Blanca had shrunk to Vic's size. "Uhh…why are you tiny?"
Blanca's cheeks flushed pink. "Well, I've neglected to mention something to you previously," The now tiny sentient marshmallow stammered shamefully. "Shapeshifting takes a lot of energy, and I find that if I spend too much time in a form that's not my original one, if I transform back to normal, I shrink to this size. When I'm like this, I can't transform again until at least half an hour passes so I can conserve energy."
That made sense. Mary also figured out this meant that Blanca, being as small as she is now, wouldn't be able to carry their backpacks. Mary didn't mind carrying her own backpack, but knew Vic's was too big for him to carry on his own.
"But there's no need to worry," Blanca reminded her. "I'll be back to normal later on. Why don't you take a moment to calm down so you can get yourself together? You can apologize to Vic when you feel you're ready."
That sounded like a good idea. But there was one thing Mary needed to do before then.
"I need to change my clothes, though. I'm all wet and sticky."
Once Mary's sobs dissipated and she and Blanca returned to the now upright gondola, Mary took a moment to grab some clean clothes, hide somewhere quiet, and change into them so she didn't feel wet and damp anymore. She put her wet clothes back in her bag, making sure they were separated from her books so the water didn't ruin them. Alvise let them back onto the gondola, and from then on, the ride was back to being slow, smooth, and pleasant. There was one noticeable change: Instead of hiding under the seat, Vic sat on top of his backpack, which Mary kept between her legs so she could keep it in place. Blanca rested on Mary's left shoulder throughout the entire ride.
Thankfully, this ride only lasted about twenty minutes, and they finally reached the exit. "Alright, guests! Here we are! Watch your step," Alvise positioned the gondola in front of the platform. Mary took it upon herself to put Vic's backpack on it first before stepping off the gondola.
"Thank you for the ride, Alvise, and sorry for…what I did," Mary bowed in a 90-degree angle.
"It's alright. Be careful on your way out, and have a safe journey!" Alvise waved goodbye before sailing down another canal nearby.
Mary knew exactly what she needed to do next. With her own backpack secure on her back, Mary picked up Vic's yellow one, holding it close to her body as she approached the exit. Mary then lifted one of her legs to nudge the yellow handle to make it move. It worked, and the door opened. The trio went through, and the door closed behind them. Once it did so, Mary sat right down, with Vic stretching his limbs outward, heaving a big, relieved sigh.
"Finally! We're out! God, that felt like forever!" Vic exclaimed. "Now I can actually relax!"
Mary didn't blame him. She felt the same way. The three of them remained where they were, not wanting to move on to the next train car yet. For now, they just wanted to savor the silence, hearing nothing but the roar of winds across the wastelands. Vic took a moment to reorient himself before standing up and crawling to the top of his backpack, facing Mary with a remorseful look on his face.
"Mary. I'm sorry for the cruel things I said to you earlier," Vic said, his voice more fragile than Mary had ever heard previously. "I never should have gone off on you the way I did."
"No, you were right to be mad at me," Mary shook her head. "I should have listened to you and left you alone like you wanted me to, but I didn't, and…I'm sorry, too. I know I can be annoying and careless, and I guess I still have a lot to learn about being…a friend."
Vic crossed his arms. "True, but I could have handled things better on my end, so in a way, we're both in the same boat."
The two of them broke into light chuckles. A green flash pulled them out of their laughter. The number on Mary's hand was changing. Mary opened her hand so she, Vic, and Blanca could have a look. After a few seconds, the number turned into a solid 70.
"Wow. I think that's the most it's ever gone down," Vic noted.
When Mary first got on the train, her number was at 120. Now it was down to almost half that. It was here that Mary began to see the pattern. Her number would go down if she faced her flaws and mistakes. Like Blanca had said, learning from one's mistakes was how one grew as a person. A smile spread across her face as warmth lurched in her chest. Maybe seeing her number go down wasn't bad after all. Even if having it go down meant she was that much closer to going back home, she didn't want to leave just yet. Not when she just managed to reconcile with Vic.
"So…do you still, um…want to…be friends?" Mary stammered.
Vic wasted no time answering. "Of course. I mean, yeah, we got into a fight, but it's not the end of the world. Friends don't just stop being friends just because of one spat. We work it out and move on. That's all there is to it," Vic reminded her. "That being said…if you're okay with having someone as blunt and temperamental like me as your friend, I still…want to help you through your journey. Is that okay?"
The sheepish hamster extended his tiny hand out. Instinctively, Mary knew what this gesture meant. Vic wanted to know if Mary was okay with having someone like him as a friend, flaws and all. Did he even need to ask? Mary stuck her pinkie finger out, making contact with Vic's hand.
"Only if you don't mind having an annoying, thoughtless kid like me as your friend, too. I promise to be a better friend from now on, and I'd be happy if you could teach me how."
Blanca sprouted a tiny hand and put it on top of Vic's hand and Mary's pinkie. "Count me in as well."
With that, the friendship that had been briefly broken was mended. Better than mended, probably made stronger than before. Mary was unsure of the last time she felt this happy. Even though she had made a mistake, said and did something she shouldn't have, this time it didn't feel like it would be held over her head forever or used as "proof" of how she wasn't normal like everyone else. It was here that it dawned on Mary: All throughout their argument, not once did Vic ever draw attention to her being autistic. This only made her respect Vic all the more, blunt honesty and all. Of course, both Mary and Vic weren't blind to the fact that past traumas can't necessarily be fixed overnight. They can still have a relentless hold…but for now, they weren't the same chains as they once were.
For now, in this very moment, things were fine, and that was enough for the time being.