"I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you." I said the words as seriously as I could, my old gala outfit contrasting horribly with my companion's armor. Honestly I was surprised that the formal wear still fit me as well as it did. I looked good, even if I'd forgone all of the fancy makeup this time around. "Seriously. If you want to drag me into that alley for some fun, I'm totally down for that."

Brennan Evighan threw back her head, laughing, one armored hand clapping me on the back as we walked away from the Viscount's Keep. "I bet you tell that to all the women who save you from stuffy dinners with pompous nobles."

"Just the cute ones." I replied with a chuckle, giving her a quick embrace with one arm on the move. "Seriously though, thanks. I was about to stab Saemus with the nearest blunt spoon."

The city's Captain of the Guard snorted, hugging me back before we separated for the sake of our balance. "As much as that Qunari loving little bastard deserves it, probably bad form to stab the Viscount's son in front of him. Even if I don't think the old man would have blamed you much."

I grunted, rolling out my shoulders as the pair of us trotted down the long stairs.

The 'Welcome Back Party for the City's Most Annoying Elf' had gone both better and worse than I'd expected. Better in the sense that Dumar had the good sense not to invite anyone who would have caused duels to break out, leaving the small banquet filled mostly with his political allies. That meant it had been a handful of Templars, Deshyrs, and those Nuevo Riche who enthusiastically supported him.

I'd successfully distracted most of them through the evening with blow by blow accounts of our raids on Tevinter shipping. The descriptions of how we'd made a mess of the 'Vints convoys to Seheron and their slave running operations had delighted my audience, Meredith and Cullen in particular.

Sadly my segue into describing our operations against the Qunari, in particular how we'd been interdicting the supplies they were trying to send to Kirkwall, had set the Viscount's son off. He'd held his tongue at first, until I'd really gotten into the details of how we'd raided an island they'd been getting drinking water from. Apparently my advice to Dumar hadn't worked out as well as either of us had hoped, and the young man was still overly enamored with the medieval communists.

I'd held my tongue for about... seven seconds before I'd sniped back in kind, and it had taken Meredith telling the kid, in no uncertain terms, to shut the fuck up to even get things sort of calmed down again.

To his credit Dumar had apologized for his son, and tried to recover, but from everyone's expressions Saemus causing him political problems wasn't anything new. It had been right around then that Brennan had finally arrived, apologizing to everyone for being late, then saying that she needed me for an immediate conference.

It had been a blatant excuse to get me out of there, everyone had clearly known it, but they'd rolled with it as a good enough reason to end the evening early. Meredith had given us her blessing to leave, and we'd slipped outside as quickly as our legs could carry us.

"Has the brat been causing that many problems?" I asked, following beside Brennan as she began a lazy walk around the plaza.

"Eh." She waggled a hand in a gesture I knew she'd copied from Varric and I. "Less than he used to. The Viscount did bring in a couple of, what did you call them... Vashoth. That's it. He's got a dozen on staff now, and they did their best to make him realize how awful the rest of the Qunari are."

"Didn't take." I guessed.

"Not really." Brennan sighed. "He's not as blindly worshipful of them as he used to be, but he's still convinced it's somehow better than what we've got. Personally I think it's all about how much he hates noble politics, and would do almost anything to avoid being the old man's heir. He can't stand either the merchant's business that his father loves, or the politics around the Viscount position."

I let out a soft grunt. "I guess I can't blame him, but you'd think there'd be easier ways to make Dumar disinherit him. Like begging and pleading, or falling in love with a prostitute and getting her pregnant."

A quiet snort escaped her. "Hey now, don't let Thrask's wife hear you say that."

"Of course I won't, and you know I think she's awesome. We're having her and Thrask over for dinner tomorrow." I shook my head. "Point is that, as much as I like her, Thrask hadn't seen a promotion in six years before we roped him into our little gang, and his choice of wives was definitely a major part of that."

"True." She allowed. "Come on, let's wander the streets a bit. Make it look like we're patrolling to make the excuse stick."

I was hardly dressed for patrolling, even if I did at least have my sword and dream-catcher on me. Still, I wasn't exactly eager to go back to an estate where a pouting Merrill would be waiting.

She hadn't been happy I'd gone off on my own yesterday, and Varric had firmly taken her side in the entire affair. By which I meant he was clearly on board with Isabella's little scheme to get Merrill and I into bed with each other, my opinion on the matter be damned. Me telling them that I had to attend a formal event, something Merrill definitely wouldn't be invited to, hadn't improved the mood in the estate.

Not that I'd been happy to go either, or happy to know that Merrill wouldn't have been welcomed among my 'allies' in the city's government... but... fuck. I don't know.

Our relationship was turning into a mess I didn't know how to handle, it really was.

"How are things?" I asked, the two of us turning down the first street we came across, casually strolling past those estates closest to the keep. "Personally, I mean. I know the Guard is finally getting a real budget again."

"And thank the Maker for that. Or Meredith, I guess." Brennan stretched out her arms with a little groan. "Not too much to report really. Things have been mostly quiet since you left, both personally and professionally."

"It can't have been that dull." I said, shaking my head and waving an arm around us. "It's Kirkwall. As miserable of a city as it is, one thing you can't call it is dull."

She dipped her head. "True. Hmm. Well, I've finally had a few nice evenings with a gentleman."

"Oh?" I asked, intrigued. "I thought you'd given up after the fiasco with that landed knight who demanded you quit your job to start pumping out kids for him."

Brennan colored slightly, "Well, yeah, sort of did for most of a year. Then, well, things kind of happened."

"Mmhmm. The kind of things that involve alcohol I'm guessing?" I asked knowingly.

"Just a bit." She admitted, with a little smile. "We woke up in bed together, said it wasn't happening again. After the second time it happened he agreed to spend a bit more time with me, and things have been... interesting."

"Anyone I know?" I asked.

Thankfully she shook her head. "No. A second son of a merchant who was hanging around a Guardsman's bar I go to once a week. He's aristocratic enough that my mother can't complain if anything does come of it, but not as stuffy old money as most. He's a bit naive, more of a boy than a man, but I honestly kind of like it. He's very attentive."

My lips curled. "Attentive in or out of bed?"

Her cheeks reddened further, quickly looking around the quiet street to make sure that no one was nearby before murmuring. "Both. You want the lurid details?"

"Maybe later." I grinned. "Do I get to meet him?"

"I'll think about it." She teased. "Can't traumatize him so badly that he runs away."

I snorted, "I'll behave. Probably."

It was her turn to hum, grinning. "I'm sure you will. You're such a beacon of restraint and civility."

"Fuck you too." I said, but I laughed while I said it. "How's everything else going?"

"Mostly well, like I said. The Guard is doing better. Not great, but better. We've gotten rid of most of the corrupt fools, so we're just left with the regular fools." She paused, then added. "It's helped that Aveline is turning into a temporary member of our little secret society."

I raised my eyebrows. "She lose that stick up her ass?"

"Nope!" Brennan chuckled, "But I think there's a place for her. Friends like Varric is the kind of thing she needs, especially after last year."

When I gave her a questioning glance, she winced, voice lowering as her good mood visibly fled. "She and her husband have been trying for a child. Twice they thought it quickened, but... well, neither one ended well despite their best efforts."

"Ah." I winced, feeling for her. "That's rough."

That next nod was more grim, her voice going quieter. "Yes, very. Don't tell anyone, but she broke down crying in my office once, blaming herself. Her husband blames the lyrium, and put in a request to stop taking it. Meredith granted it, but that's left him... well, you know how the withdrawals are. It made things worse between them instead of better."

I shook my head, trying to imagine Aveline having that level of break down. I... really couldn't, which was either a testament to how little I knew her, or how hurt she had to have been to collapse like that.

"Fuck." I muttered.

"Yeah." She agreed. "It's a little better now, but only just. The Knight-Captain started bringing them both those nights he came to the Hanged Man. I wouldn't trust either one of them with our full run of secrets like we do Mother Caelia, but Varric and Fenris have let them in on a few things. His 'Vint and slaver hunts, mostly. They both pulled their weight, and fighting side by side did seem to help them a bit."

"That's good." I said. "I really don't want to play relationship counselor. Not my strong suit."

Brennan snorted, "It wasn't mine either until you and Varric stuck me in this post. Now it seems like counseling is most of what I do every day. If it's not trying to patch up her marriage, it's dealing with bad break ups between my guards on the good days."

"Nobles on the bad ones?" I guessed.

"Yeah. Half of them are furious that I don't let them murder their rivals in broad daylight." She paused, huffed, and shook her head. "The other half are furious that I don't take bribes so that their sons go down and rape some fisherman's wife."

"Have the new Watches been helping?" I asked.

She shrugged, the two of us strolling past a cafe still doing good business even as the sun began to set. "I guess they have. The Alienage and Enclave police themselves these days, which is two less areas for me to worry about, but the laws still make them turn over anyone they catch to me for processing."

I nodded, getting it. "So you still get all of the complaints about how they shouldn't let the filthy elves arrest them."

"Yup." She popped the last letter. "Or that their arrest was obviously because the Deshyrs are trying to frame them for something so that the Dwarves can seize their wealth. That excuse has gotten very popular lately."

"I believe it." I said. "Did you need me to do anything for you while I'm here?"

A long hum came as she thought about it. After a minute of silent walking she shook her head once. "Don't think so. I love you to death, Maeve, but your personality's not really... suited for what I actually need help with. I've got Varric for that. Just make sure he doesn't run off for a couple of months again."

"No insult taken, and I'll do my best. Still, you know how he is. Always finding something new that might get us all horribly murdered."

We both snorted, chuckling as we found our good humor again. For a little while, at least. We walked in silence for a few blocks, turning down another major street, passing a group of Brennan's guards. They all saluted their boss who gave them one in return, said something about them doing a good job, and waved for them to continue on.

They did, leaving us free to continue our stroll.

"How have you been?" She asked finally. "I know you said you had fun attacking 'Vint and Qunari ships, staying with Hawke, but you were really good at not actually telling me how you're feeling in your letters. How are you doing, really?"

My lips pressed together for a few steps before I admitted. "I'm tired, Bren. I'm really tired."

"...of?" She asked, almost hesitantly.

I sighed. "Everything. Just... Thedas. The killing, the magic, the factions. I'm sick of it all."

A strong hand found my shoulder, squeezing gently to stop her gauntlet from hurting me. "Still not drinking either?"

"No. You'd think it'd be easy at this point, but..." I shook my head. "...I still want to feel that numbness again. To get buzzed and let it help me pretend I can handle what's going on. I nearly broke down at Hawke's place more than once. Even more times when we were with Isabella."

"Why?" She asked softly, our pace slowing to a stop, the two of us just standing on the side of a quiet street.

"Everything." I repeated, my hands falling to my hips. Emotions I'd barely been controlling bubbling out of my lips with barely any filter. "I just... fuck. I don't even know any more. It was supposed to be a break, you know? Time away, help me get better. Grieve. I mostly grieved, I think, but the rest of it... fuck. The rest of it just got worse. There's so much shit going on and I know it's all going to fall apart sooner or later. I'm even more stressed out than I was then, and I feel like I'm one bad day from just snapping completely."

Brennan gave me a sympathetic look, and another gentle squeeze of my shoulder. "Come on. We're going to my house, and we're going to sit down and have a good woman-to-woman talk."

I shouldn't. I really shouldn't. With as tense and fragile that I was, I knew for sure that I was going to say something I shouldn't. About home, my lies, my half-truths, my... well, everything.

But... fuck. I needed someone to vent to. Someone besides Longing, at least. The Spirit did its best, but she remained what she was. While she was a good way to release tension just by venting it all out there, her ability to actually help was far more minimal. That wasn't her fault, but she had her limitations.

Having another mortal to talk to was probably something that was long overdue.

Brennan wasn't Isabella, or Hawke, or Merrill... but that was probably a good thing, really. We were friends, but there was no chance of anything deeper happening between us. Teasing aside, I mean. Plus, well, I had far better odds of Bren keeping her mouth shut about anything I said than anyone else.

Varric or Isabella or Hawke or Fiolya absolutely would tell one another even if I asked them not to.

They'd definitely tell Merrill, and she was the main topic I needed advice on.

"That sounds good." I said with a tired exhalation. "I need a lot of help, I think. Another girl's opinion on Merrill would be a good start."

She gave me several quick blinks as the two of us turned back, heading towards the tiny middle class part of Hightown where her house was. "Merrill? What's going on with Merrill?"

"She snatched my sleeping roll out of my bag when we left Isabella to make sure we had to share one." I told her. "And she pouted and wiggled against me until I cuddled with her every single night."

"Ohhhh..." Brennan drew it out, glancing to one side as we walked past the cafe once again. Several of the lingering customers clearly recognized us both with fewer people to distract them, and from their expressions they weren't happy to see one of us. Me, probably, but it might have been Bren as well.

She'd made a lot of enemies thanks to being very choosy in whose bribes she accepted.

. "...damn." Brenan said, clearly referring both to the notice we were getting, as well as the actual topic at hand. "She's caught feelings then?"

"Seems to have, from what I heard her and Isabella talking about one time before we left."

She turned back to me. "And you don't feel the same? Or is that the kind of question that makes you want to drink?"

"Definitely one that makes me want to drink." I muttered, flicking my eyes left at a second bit of motion from the restaurant. A server was darting inside from the outdoor seating space, his pace furious. "I... don't know. I really don't."

"She's cute." Brennan noted.

"She's extremely cute." I agreed, letting my eyes return to the front. "She's fanatically loyal, wonderfully intelligent, and... I don't know. If we were both back home I wouldn't think twice about trying something, but that's kind of the whole problem. I'm ninety-nine percent sure her mirror's not going to get me there."

There was more than that. Even after a few years of knowing her I still felt... I don't know. Wrong? Stalker-ish? Weird? She'd been a character in a video game, who I'd known a whole lot about before I'd ever met her as an actual person.

No matter how I sliced it, I'd manipulated her when we'd first met into being my roommate. My friend. My magical tutor. It was a minor guilt I'd thought I'd been able to deal with at the time, but it had become something that was churning up soul every couple of days or so.

Brennan nodded seriously. "So what? You'll need to go sailing to get back?"

"Maybe." I couldn't help but hedge. As much as I needed to talk to someone, fully admitting my origins wasn't something I could do. Not yet, probably not ever with Brennan, as much as I liked her. "I might have another option, but it's a ways out and pretty dangerous. Whether or not I make that work, or if I have to go sailing, I don't think there would be any way to get back here. If she came with me, Merrill would be cut off from the Elves of Thedas, maybe forever."

It was her turn to wince, looking behind us for a moment when we turned down a side street. "Ah. Yeah, I don't think she'd handle that very well."

"Not at all." I agreed. "But how the hell am I supposed to tell her that? She's so convinced her Eluvian is going to get me home. Worse, how much of her feelings are actually because she likes me, and how much are because I helped her with the stupid thing? Because she thinks I can lead all Elves to some paradise?"

That wince deepened. "...damn. I can see how that would leave you conflicted."

"Just a bit." I muttered, rolling my shoulders as we walked down a very empty street.

"And you can't try something casual, that's not you." She paused, then added, "Or like Merrill either."

"Nope." I said.

"Varric know?" She asked.

"He, Isabella, and Hawke are all encouraging her." I replied. "So is Fiolya."

My old friend let out a quiet groan. "Of course they are. I'm sure that's helping you figure things out. Did they at least wait until you grieved for Mother Petrice?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't be speaking to any of them otherwise." I replied, noting that one of her hands had dropped to her sword, my own mimicking the motion. "The other problem is that I'm four years celibate, and every time Merrill slides up against me I have to stop myself from ravishing her on the spot."

"You're seriously still holding out?" Brennan asked, "Two years with Hawke and Isabella? I mean, the Maker knows I don't have any desire for other women, but I know how beautiful you think they both are."

"Still holding out. Don't tell Hawke, but there was one time she would have had me give in if she'd been patient for an extra few seconds" I said. "Woman's a damned temptress and she barely even has to try. Completely unfair."

She grinned, "My lips are sealed. Which side do you want, by the way?"

"Left, I think." I said. "Finish this conversation later? I really do need advice."

"I'll plan a breakfast for us." She promised, drawing her blade in a flourish, turning at the same time. I mimicked both the draw and the turn, our backs colliding as the first of our stalkers came rushing forward.

I had two on my side; a lean woman with a soldier's broadsword, followed closely by a broader man with a mace and shield.

With my mana drained the sword was my only defense. It rose, parrying the woman's wild slash, my left fist lashing out to break her nose. She proved herself competent by recoiling without losing her guard, deflecting my quick slash at her belly before trying a riposte.

Twisting in place, I parried the blade just enough to push it past me, the tip of it sending up sparks when it met Brennan's armor. My companion didn't seem to notice, too busy with someone else, which left me free to dart in, keeping the woman between me and her companion.

She snarled through the blood running down her face, and tried to both deck me with her free hand and bring her weapon back into a guard position with the other.

It was a bit too much for her. She missed the punch when I ducked, leaving her over-balanced, wavering as she tried to catch herself, and wide open for me to run her through as I came up against her side.

I saw her eyes widen in shock when the sword jabbed into her belly, emerging out of her back. Clenching my teeth, I twisted at the hips, shoving her back and off the weapon even as her own clattered to the ground.

Her friend showed his opinion of her by stomping right on her chest in his charge, drawing a breathy scream that was swallowed up when one of Brennan's opponents began howling. Ignoring both, I backpedaled rapidly, then had a split second to realize the man intended to simply run into me.

I dodged laterally at the last heartbeat, avoiding being trampled, but he still caught me with a wild bash of his shield. My left arm exploded into pins and needles, my own yelp of pain joining the music, my boots sliding a bit on the stone as I came to a stumbling stop.

He'd recovered nearly as quickly, quickly deflecting a probing slash with his shield before lashing out with the pace. Knowing better than to try and parry or block the metal club, I dodged back again, then threw a quick attack that he again caught on the shield.

Growling in irritation, I stepped in, feinted a slash at his eyes to make him draw the shield up, then fell into a falling lunge aimed at his shin.

He saw it coming and tried to leap back, but his initial rush had left him too close to the buildings on the side of the street. His back struck the stone, leaving him immobile when I cut into his calf, twisting the sword as I drew it sideways. He screamed, wildly swinging his mace to force me back one more.

I retreated, and his attempt to lunge after me faltered on his wound.

He fell to a knee, snarling in pain...

...and then Brennan came around my left, and neatly removed his head with a heavy swing of her long sword.

"Thanks." I said, trying to catch my breath. "Damn shields always frustrate me."

"You're welcome." She said, both of us looking around for more enemies. I didn't see any, but there was a pair of Guards sprinting our way, along with several people poking their heads out of windows or stepping onto patios. "Me or you, you think?"

I glanced at her two attackers to find them both very, very dead, leaving us with only one option to get an answer for that question.

A few steps brought me over to the woman whose guts I'd opened to find her clutching at the wound, pale, but still alive.

"Hey." I said. "You want to live a bit longer?"

Her throat worked in a painful swallow, her voice ruined by the broken nose. "Ah ahtacked a guard. Gonnah hang me anyway."

That was certainly true. Brennan didn't fuck around when people attacked her, or her people.

Clearly hearing the words, the Captain walked over as well, looking down at her. "I will consider commuting it to a lifetime exile if you cooperate."

The woman clearly noted the 'consider' part of that statement, but a shudder of pain stopped her from speaking, and gave Brennan a chance to go on, her voice cold as stone.

"Or," She said, "I can make sure you get just enough healing to not bleed out, but not enough to stop your guts from rotting inside you. It'll take you a day or two to die that way, and every hour will be torture."

The woman broke. "...ah'll tahlk."

"Good girl." Brennan waved her sword at the two Guards finally arriving, "Get her bound, hand and foot. Once she's secure pour enough potions down her throat to keep her alive until we get back to the Keep for interrogation."

The Guards, both men, nodded, the older of the two speaking. "Yes, Captain. Come on you. Let's find out which blue blooded inbred has it in for the Guard this time."

"That," Brennan muttered, her voice so quiet only I could hear her. "Or someone's already after you, Maeve."

I nodded, resting my bloody sword on my shoulder, whispering back. "Yeah. Either way, I owe you one. I'll handle it."

She glanced at me. "Thought you were tired of all this."

"I am." I narrowed my eyes as the woman was tied up, the first red potion being held to her lips. "But you're my friend, Bren. A friend I left behind for two years."

"I didn't blame you."

"I did." I took a deep breath, smelling the awful stench of death, and then let it out. "Come on. Let's see who sent these idiots, and figure out how to reply in kind."

Brennan stared at me, then gave me a small smile. "Good to have you back, Maeve. Let's get to work."