Friday 3rd October 2003, Lyon, France
"Well, I started moving around a lot, I only spent about three months in Bordeaux, until my father discoveredthat I was working in hiding, which didn't even get me 500 euros, which was about 9,000 euros short of beingenough, so we had to move, spending the summer in Lyon, where I spent a long time working on the sly, butnothing that allowed me to earn anything, As I was only 13, even with the false identity it was difficult, I hadto always find a way, which only managed to get a few temporary jobs at most, which only gave me about200 euros in so long, but soon I received an extremely unwelcome visit, during that time I was in Lyon,someone who suddenly appeared at home, precisely the damned one."
Another day with nothing, there are still at least 8700 Euros to go to get to where I want to be, before it was much easier to get this money, but now it's simply impossible, even more so doing it on the sly, if my father finds out I'm screwed, I just want to close my goal and get away.
Well, I think I'm going to play for a while, I'm too frustrated, that's what I should do, I even huff, when I get to the door of the house, I walk in and just see my father talking to someone, when I realise he's with her... What is this woman doing here?
"What the hell is that?" I say angrily.
"Oh, it looks like she's here" said my father with a straight face.
"Send that bitch away, Dad!" I say clenching my fists, I can't feel the slightest remorse for her.
"Woah woah woah, look at the language girl, be polite to Daryl, she's come to give you a golden chance round here" Said what's worse than her.
"Calm down Chariot, I've come to give you a unique chance, you're going to visit your family, I want to give you this trip, don't you miss your mums? You haven't seen each other for almost four years, or have you forgotten them? I guarantee it'll be a marvellous trip" Oh yes, of course, I'm sure that's a lie and there's something horrible going on in her head.
"What if I don't want to go? You could be lying" I'm not going with that bastard.
"The hard-earned money you've been saving to go to Luna Nova will all be taken from you, either you go or you lose everything, what do you say?" I even swallow saliva.
"That's... That's... That's horrible blackmail" I say angrily.
"So what are you going to do about it? Nothing's going to change your life because of this, stop being so fresh and do what I tell you, I've already decided this years ago, don't come and spoil everything, or I'll spoil everything for you, after almost four years you don't want to see your mums so dear, oh and more surprises that are there, you'll love it" I know surprises, there'll be something horrible behind it.
I don't have much choice, since worse could happen, it's horrible to feel so powerless in front of her, it's just a huge difference from what I can do, if I were at least a more trained and stronger witch, I'd be able to at least defeat her and show her who's boss, but I can't even do that, just by looking at her she intimidates me.
I go to my room, where I'm going to pack and I'm already getting very angry, I can't believe she's made me do this, just now, it's just to damage my head more, what a bastard, I swear I'm going to... Ugh, I just want this hell to end soon.
I go back to the room with my bags packed, I've only taken enough, at least I don't know how long I'll be there, but I've taken a few things.
"It doesn't have to take long, you'll spend a very short time in Wedinburgh and you'll follow exactly what I tell you, I guarantee you'll like it, by the way, it's been a while since we've seen each other, you've even grown a lot, the girl the size of Laura is now the size of my sister, who would have thought" As if she cared about me.
"Have a good trip, enjoy the scenery" said my father, as usual being the usual idiot.
And we're leaving the house, we take a taxi, I just avoid looking at Daryl, who is even looking at me, but I'm still very angry about everything, I can't believe she's going to be that comfortable, it doesn't even look like she's up to something much worse, I just hope it's not a robbery.
Well, if all this is true, I'm going to love seeing my mums again, I'm going to do everything I can to spend as much time with them as possible, it's going to be perfect, I can't imagine what must have happened all this time.
[...]
We landed in Edinburgh, after a long journey, we had arrived by taxi at the airport and then we were dropped off at the airstrip where a jet was already waiting for us, I had never travelled in something like this, but all this fake luxury doesn't fool anyone, they only live on appearance, but inside they are not noble at all.
We took another taxi, it was dusk in Edinburgh, we arrived at a hotel and got out of the car, which I found strange, it really was something very different from what I expected, I thought we were going home.
"What are we doing here?" I ask Daryl.
"You're not staying at the Cavendish mansion, not as long as I say you can, for now sleep in the hotel and spend the night, tomorrow we'll go there, you'll be able to find out what happened, I've already booked a room for you, enjoy the luxury, it makes up for what you did on that job, doesn't it? - It's not like she got the better of me that day, this talk of redemption isn't going to cut it for me.
"Ah, it was too good to tell the truth" I say, rolling my eyes.
"Don't look like that, I'm going to show you that this trip is worth it, you're not going to come out of this with nothing" said the damned woman.
I'm taken by the hotel management to where my room is, as I enter I'm surprised, at least they've booked something very luxurious, if that's what Daryl wants, then I'm going to make a point of using it until the luxury of this hotel is gone, oh if I do, she's going to pay me back for every cent she owes me that day.
I throw myself on the bed, it's huge, it's comfortable, there's a television, that's wonderful, that's what I needed, I took my MagicStation 1 with me, just for the emotional memory, when I thought I was going to see my family, I don't know why this trip, honestly, she must be hiding something much worse.
[...]
Wow, the food here is good, it's all quality, the bathtub has a Jacuzzi, there's even a sauna, things here that I never thought they had, it's another level of luxury, compared to what I lived in for three years in France, it's cosy, but none of that compares to the love of being close to loved ones, I can be in the most precarious house and I'll enjoy it if I'm with my mums.
Soon someone knocks on the door, it's bloody Daryl who comes in, I'm already dressed, ready to leave, just waiting for what she promised, I'm sure she's just going to fool me with all this.
"Look, you've even changed, you've come all prepared, but at the same time these overalls just make you look poor, you should dress like someone with class, you're not going to the playground with your friends -This is my best outfit, I love these overalls, I can't believe she said that about me.
"Let's go, I just want to visit them" I say to my evil aunt, who keeps laughing.
"I'm not going to judge your poor clothes, I forget that you are one, you must have enjoyed every moment, I don't doubt that in that suitcase you already have the shampoo and soaps from the hotel inside, like every poor person does, but let's go home" I don't do that? Why would I steal those things? It's from the hotel, you don't do something like that.
And we're leaving, I'm very happy and anxious, seeing the surroundings, it's my chance to finally go to my mums, if everything is true it will be the happiest days of my life in years, I'm really looking forward to it, we're leaving the hotel, I leave my chae at reception and then I go to a car that picked us up, there I look out of the car window.
I have memories of when I was younger, the many times I travelled by car in the back seat looking at the landscape, the way I drove from one side to the other, it was the best feeling in the world, everything took me back to my childhood, that road, everything becoming more rural, we're arriving at the mansion.
The car stopped, nearby, which we had to get out of, this is too strange, but I'll get out, there's still a long way to go to the mansion, there's a path that the car passed, what are we doing out here?
"Come with me, we'll go another way" What's that? I knew it was too good to be true.
"What do you mean? Why don't we go indoors? Have you come to trick me?" I ask confused.
"I'm not fooling you, I told you you'd see your mums and I'm going to keep that promise, now come with me" What a strange thing to say.
I'm not going to question it or anything, she said I'm going to see my mums, but even so, it's suspicious, but what can I do? Daryl has enormous power over me, I'm obliged to do what he tells me. We're going to follow a path around the house, through the trees, I already knew this path from exploring the backyard with my friends.
We get to a hill that faces the backyard, where I used to play a lot, I can already hear their voices, and I feel a hand grab my arm.
"If you open your mouth you're fucked, so watch everything very quietly and from a distance" Ah now I understood the promise, of course, she would only let me see if I was far away.
We get to the top of the hill, she gives me a pair of binoculars, I can hear the voices from a long way off, but I'm hidden behind some trees, when I look closer I notice that my mums are there, I see that there are two children there too, a newborn baby and another baby with Cavendish hair, they've had two daughters, this is marvellous, I have two sisters now, I really wish I could meet them up close.
"How do you feel now? You see how happy they are, they're over you now Chariot, they're getting on with their lives, you've just been replaced, they're both their biological daughters, there's no way you could have any more love for them than they'll have for you, you're just an adopted girl who got lucky, but who they've forgotten" That kind of talk doesn't fall on me, they're happy and they have to be, there's no reason to be sad and bitter, they're two beautiful and cute little girls.
I'm very happy to see them, even from afar, I know that the mums are getting over the loss and having these two daughters is going to be very good, when it comes in five years I'm going to make a point of being present at the childhood of these two, I can't wait to go back, I only think about it now, since I can't talk I just look at it, I'm really happy, seeing my mums again, seeing new people, I hope they're really happy, someone has to be.
"They don't need you to be happy Chariot, you're just a throwaway, you always were, they just saw you as a piece of the puzzle, they wanted to make you the leader of the family, to throw all the responsibility on your back, then take the lead with their daughters, Look at how little they care about your absence, look at that, you're not important, it was just a phase, a page turned" She thinks that this kind of manipulative talk will somehow work on me, but I'm already smart about this kind of thing, I don't get scared, they're happy and they have to stay.
I remember that the older one the mums wanted to call Diana, I think it must be Diana, she's already able to walk, what a cutie, that's wonderful to see, I wanted to follow this closely, but unfortunately I can't, the other one looks much younger, I think she must have been born recently, but I don't remember what name she was going to be given, I think mum Laura must have thought of it at the last minute, I'm sure of one thing, it's one of each, the older one came from Bernadette, while the younger one came from Laura, they're just beautiful like that.
"What a beautiful, marvellous family, all together, but it would be a shame if something happened to them, wouldn't it? You know I didn't keep my plan to myself, and you're seeing this family together for the last time, soon it'll all fall apart, they'll each be in their own corner, Cavendishes on one side, McLarens on the other, where they should be, or else horrible things could happen, don't you try to open your mouth, or reveal anything, or it'll all happen for the worst" I feel powerless now, she could just do what she told me about separating the two, how could I forget that.
I keep quiet, watching my family in the background, I even press harder on the binoculars, I don't want this to be true, I don't want to lose my family, they shouldn't have to go through this, but damn it, why would she do this, I even start to cry, seeing this makes me feel so bad, I don't want to lose them again.
"Enough, you've stayed too long, that's what I wanted to show you, now let's go back, that's what I wanted to show you, I have a proposition to offer you, let's go to the hotel now" Isn't it enough what you've told me now? You bastard.
I get up from the grass, seeing the four of them in the distance, as if they were dots, I take a deep breath, I follow the evil witch, through the woods that are by the Cavendish house, from there we go to the road near the entrance to the mansion, the car was waiting for us, I had even wiped my tears, I get into the back seat, very sad, I can't process anything anymore.
I see the landscape no longer having the same magic as before, I remember when I was going to Edinburgh airport being taken by my father, moments that I just wanted to forget, so much so that tears start flowing again.
"I did what I promised, you can't disagree with that" she said as if she had done the great kindness, I'm just going to keep quiet.
We arrive at the hotel, we get out of the car, I take my key, we walk to my room, I'm honestly very down, I don't even want to go any further, what the hell, when I get to my room I'm still accompanied by the damned woman, so I lie on the bed crying.
"Get up, stop crying, you look like a child like that" she said and I decided to punch the bed in anger.
"I'm a child!" I say angrily.
"Look, she's trying to be a rabid lion, I'm scared, boo, I'm terrified of her... How pathetic, all this little show when I've done what I promised and what's more, you're not going to leave empty-handed, here's some compensation for all this" she said, throwing money on the bed and I was a little confused.
"What is this? Why do you want me to take your money?" I ask her.
"Because I want you to keep quiet, you're not going to open your mouth about what you've seen today and now, take it with you to Luna Nova, I've had enough fun with you" Had fun with me? You ruined my life.
"You're a heartless woman!" I say angrily.
"And you're a needy little girl who I know will keep her mouth shut, because if you open your mouth mums will suffer even more and we're not talking about you losing the money to go to Luna Nova, because you won't even get there, if you know what I mean, so keep your mouth shut, I want you to stay inside this room until I get there tomorrow, otherwise the money won't be yours, don't try to open your mouth to Laura and Bernadette or they'll find you in a black bag" I turn white, is she really serious that she would threaten my life? This woman is a monster, I'm really terrified.
"I hate you Daryl! I hope you pay for everything you've done! You heartless monster!" I say to her who, as usual, pretends to react.
"Look how terrified I am of the little girl's threat, oh hohoho, what's she going to do, hit me with those noodle arms? You have neither size nor strength hahahaha! Besides not having the power to know what to do, I control you, you've been my servant all this time, take advantage of the fact that this is the last time I'm talking to you, you've always turned down my jobs and offers, you could be swimming in money today, happy with your family, You could be swimming in money today, happy with your family, but you preferred to fight for justice, what a cliché thing to say, I'm so touched by it, hahahahaha, you're only getting what you deserve, go live your life and use your money to go to Luna Nova, where you'll fail" she said and I'm already unable to process it properly.
"I'm surprised you're still helping me go to Luna Nova despite everything, you've always hindered my every endeavour, you've made my father move from place to place because of it and now you want to help? Why do you want to do that, you weirdo?" I ask her.
"Because I know you'll fail, besides, your father's services and yours are of no use, let him get on with it from now on, don't tell him I helped because you know he'll get that money from you, I just want to see you discovering the reality of Luna Nova, failing there and being frustrated by the truth of what it's like to study there, ahhh that's going to be marvellous to see, you must still be very angry about all this hahahaha, all I wanted was to see you suffer, to take the shine and hope out of your heart, until you were corrupted by everything and came to me" Said the damned woman leaving my room.
"I would never give in to you, Daryl" I say angrily.
"Society would make you surrender to it, I manipulated everything just right, but you're even resistant, even so you continued to commit crimes for your selfish goals, false identity, money laundering, selling cookies in the name of witches, who would have thought that you yourself are capable of committing offences for your own selfishness, I don't need to make any influence, I just need to let things roll" Said the damned woman who then left my room.
I just get so angry, my blood even boils in my head, I can't believe that the world has left me with so many injustices, how angry, at least she'll leave me alone now, but what's the point, if now I've been through everything that's worse? I feel powerless, I feel useless, I can't do anything and I know she's behind it all, she'll destroy any chance.
I'm crying because I can't think of anything else, this whole thing is shaking me to the core, she's a monster, my whole life has been ruined by this woman, I feel useless.
[...]
I'm taking the plane back home accompanied by Daryl, who continues to watch me, this is a dead Sunday for me, I can't think about anything after this, I'm just thinking about what lies ahead, Luna Nova, that's what I have to think about, I can't think too much about mums or I'll get worse.
"Remembering here that it's important, this conversation today didn't happen, you didn't address me and neither did we have this moment, keep that money you received and don't tell your father anything" I know, I know, now you don't have to remind me of that.
"Now that you've ruined my life, you don't have to remind me of the monstrosities you've committed against me, I just want to go home" I say sullenly.
"By the way, just a reminder, during these days of your absence, your father has moved once again, just so he wouldn't change his habit, but he hasn't moved very far, now you're living in Clemont-Ferrand, remember to act as you always have, or leave the old man alone and pretend you've given up" I haven't given up, in fact I already know what I'm going to do from now on, you won't get away with this.
It's a shame I didn't take a tape recorder, but it's quite possible that she'll find out and destroy the device, otherwise I'd be more relaxed, but I'm not going to give up, I'm going to raise the money to bring these two to justice, I'm going to sue my father and get out of here, it's going to be all or nothing, this money is going to be used in some way.
[...]
Friday 12 March 2004, Nevers
"I unfortunately knew that Daryl would do something to you and she really did, cursing you and Mama Laura,so you would be forcibly separated and nothing could be done, after all by law you are not Laura's daughter,you were only registered as Bernadette's daughter, you could only be recognised as Laura's daughter afterthe age of 12 and if it was proven that you were a biological daughter on top of that, but until that happened,Daryl knew what he had done, on the other hand Hellene was not recognised as Bernadette's daughter,things only got worse for us, Well, after that, I started running around trying to sue my father and Daryl incourt, but I was too easily found out, it wasn't even two weeks later and he'd already left Clemont-Ferrand, sowe went to a nearby town, Vichy, where I stayed for two months until he found out and left, And so it went inthis circle, which was already the beginning of 2004, which could have been a new year for me, but it wasanother year of living little in various places, three months in Magny-Cours, then going to Nevers where myfather gave me a big ultimatum. I was really getting to know France and my dad hated all this travelling backand forth."
The whole time I'm going from one place to another I'm moving, it sucks, I just want to get my money, I've barely managed to get 500 Euros together since it happened with Daryl, worst of all I can't even make friends at school, it seems like my dad knows everything, all I can do now is lie down and cry.
I get home, I go home, I rest my head, the best I can do, before I get more affected, I can't stop thinking that worse things have happened on the outside.
"Look, once again the girl who's always picking on me has arrived, I've already sent her and I'm going to send her again, don't make fun, I've already moved on my own several times, I think we'd better make the time in this city worthwhile, don't try to work, I've already warned you, I don't want to spend money or else the move will come out of your pocket, are you listening to me girl?" Ugh, as if you were any good, you old fool.
"Look at the miracle of you spending your money on something that's no more than your duty, let me work in peace, I'm old enough to work, I just want my things, does it bother you that much that I'm going to Luna Nova? Daryl's not controlling us anymore" I say to him and he shrugs.
"I've already said that I don't want you to be a witch, be a normal girl, I don't care if it doesn't make you money or not, or if you want to be happy, being a witch is a path to heartbreak, if I know you've got a job I'll make you spend money out of your own pocket for the next move" he said angrily.
"So don't bother me, I can work and help with the bills, it won't hurt anything, what do you think?" I ask him.
"At your age they'll let you work, that's why I don't want to, you get easy money, I don't know how but you do, I bet you must be prostituting yourself for it" What's that? And I'm not supposed to do these things.
"What's it like?" I get confused.
"From the way you talk, you probably don't even know what these things are, you're too naïve to think about it, but let's be clear here, if you make any more fun of moving out, then consider getting yourself kicked out of the house, you don't want to do that, do you? I know you don't, just look at your face, an innocent little girl like you the streets won't forgive" he said.
"Throw me out of the house and I'll take everything out of here, don't forget who paid for all this, you bastard, if you throw me out, you can kiss the fridge, the cooker, the cupboards, the sofas, most of the furniture goodbye, I'm not leaving here empty-handed" he waggles his fingers in denial.
"The furniture is mine now, I've already paid so much for the changes that it's mine, no one will believe that a 14-year-old girl paid for all this, so you're going to leave here with just the clothes on your body and your suitcase, good luck trying to find a place to stay, that's what I say, so be very quiet or else I'll make you know what real hardship is and you won't have my hand holding you back" Bastard, but he's going to pay for all this.
I just get angry and go to my room where I stare at the wall, I don't know what I'm going to do now, on the one hand I'm free, on the other... Living on the street must be cruel, but I can manage, I've already got the money for Luna Nova, I've even got some left over, that's good enough, there's a few Euros I've set aside for this plan to sue these people, and now what do I do? I'm really indecisive about all this.
"What I did was wait for the summer, to at least get through the year, I didn't know what decision to make, butI knew that one of them was to go out on my own to conquer life, I needed to take my own steps, somethingthat isn't mentioned in the book, but I didn't leave home to study at Luna Nova, I did that a year before, I lefthome expelled, I expelled myself from home, But I couldn't go to Edinburgh, because I still had therestraining order that was valid until I was 15, but what made me afraid was precisely the fact that Daryl'sthreat was always hammering away in my head, I knew I couldn't go to Edinburgh, but outside France Iwould, a long journey, I would spend my money, but I did it, for my principles."
Wednesday 14th July 2004, Nevers, France
I've packed my bags, I know I can just stay here quietly, wait here until I leave Luna Nova, but I want to be free and I will be free, no more being on a leash, I'll be able to work and live on my own, I trust that I can, I won't be abandoned for this, I've made my decision, I'll leave a letter, I'd rather not risk getting home, but at least I'll be close to Luna Nova.
"Since you don't want to let me work so that I can realise my dreams, I'm going to pursue them on my own, I'm leaving here for good, take the opportunity to live alone like I've always wanted to, it's not like you care about my presence, I'm leaving this house to try my hand at life outside, and you won't have any control over me... Chariot Du Nord"
"Goodbye, Dad, I hope you're happy with what you've done" I say as I leave the house, carrying my suitcase.
Now it's all or nothing, my next stop is Glastonbury in England, I think I'll stay to get used to what it's like to study at Luna Nova, I've already got everything I need and the restraining order will soon be lifted, on 20 February 2005, I'm free from these restraints, but there are others that could take me away, which are Daryl's clutches.
"I had a long journey, it was days and days, hitchhiking, I went to the nearest train station, took the TGV tothe coast of France, then took the train to the other side of the tunnel, took another train through the south ofEngland, from there I made my way to Glastonbury, It was a gruelling five days of travelling as I stopped in afew towns to eat and spent around 500 euros to get there, until in Glastonbury I first settled in a hostel whereI paid for accommodation by working, but I had to find somewhere to stay and I soon found a job, I'm sureyou're familiar with it, but before Chum worked there, I was the handyman at The Last Wednesday Societyfor a year, I lived there and worked, it was a cramped little room, but it was enough to live on, at least, apartfrom the fact that I only stayed there for a year until I studied at Luna Nova, the book never mentions thispart, it just says that I arrived in England in June 2005, already making a name for myself as a street artist,but the truth is that it was all more down to earth, I woke up early, went to school, then I worked and enjoyedthe little free time, until I got to Luna Nova."
See you, family witches...