Chapter I: The Beginning of the Day
(alarm on phones ringing)
*HJ and the others stop the alarms on their phones*
*HJ and the others get up*
HJ: Well, Josh, Jamie, Tom, Ryan, and Zoe. Happy birthday to all six of us.
Candace: *gets out of bed* Happy birthday, HJ, honey! Happy birthday, Josh, Jamie, Tom, Ryan, and Zoe!
HJ: And also, happy birthday to Zara.
Tom: Can't you believe it, HJ? We're all 31!
Josh: Which means it's been ten years since we've legally allowed to drink!
HJ: Hey, I know what we should do! We're gonna spend most of today in Royal Woods!
EPF: I couldn't help but overhear.
HJ: I'll be 46 in the year 2039. I'll become my Future Russian Self by then. And it's only 15 years away!
Josh: Should we get dressed first, HJ?
HJ (to Josh): Yes.
Narrator/EPF: After several minutes of getting dressed, the gang is finally ready to spend most of the day somewhere else.
HJ: Okay, we're upstairs now, and we have to leave a note on the fridge so mom and dad can know that we're gone.
Josh: I'm on it! *writes down the note* "Went some place. Be back whenever. Singed, The Cork Men"
*Josh tapes the note on the left fridge door*
Josh: There. All set.
HJ (to EPF): EPF, teleport us to our driveway.
EPF (to HJ): You got it, Hugh Jacob! *does so*
(teleporting noises)
Josh: Okay, we're on our driveway, now what, HJ?
HJ: Easy, Josh. *to EPF* EPF, Zara and the others to get over here pronto.
EPF (to HJ): You got it, Hugh Jacob! *does so*
Josh: EPF, how long until the others get here?
EPF (to Josh): In about a few minutes, Josh.
Josh: Okay.
Narrator/EPF: A few minutes later...
(teleporting noises)
Zara: Okay, HJ. We're here! The other 13 of us are here.
HJ: Glad you're all here, you guys.
Chance: HJ, why are we all here this early? It's a quarter past six in the morning!
HJ: Chance, because I think I know how we're gonna most of the day today on our birthday. Me, Josh, Jamie, Tom, Ryan, Zoe, and Zara.
Chance: Well, happy birthday, you guys! Plus, we all know that the first seven of you guys are 31 today.
S.T.A.R. Jr.: Happy birthday, first seven members of The Cork Men.
Paul: Where are we going, HJ?
HJ (to Paul): To Royal Woods. We're gonna get there by teleporting.
(HJ's future communicator rings)
HJ: It's my Future Russian Self. *answers his future communicator* Yes. What is it, Future Russian Me?
Future Russian HJ (on device): Hugh Jakob, listens up. If you go to Lynn's Table, I want you to rrrequest have Luan, Lynn Srrr, Kotarrro, and Grrrant sing that "Happy Birrrthday" jingle of theirrrs in rrrussian among eighteen otherrr languages, including English. That's a total of 20 languages. Please have one of the langauges be in rrrussian on my behalf. Okay?
HJ (speaking to his Future Russian Self on future communicator): Okay, you got it, Future Russian Me!
Future Russian HJ (on device): Spasibo, Hugh Jakob! Dasvidaniya! *hangs up*
HJ (to the others): You all hear that, you guys? We're gonna have to have them sing that birthday jingle of theirs in English, Russian, and 18 other languages at Lynn's Table, okay?
All 19 others in unison: Okay!
HJ (to EPF): EPF, please teleport us to Royal Woods and when we get there, please transform into your true human being self.
EPF: You got it, Hugh Jacob! *does so*
(teleporting noises)
WORK IN PROGRESS...