Dean slumped back over the Motel railing, pondering, questioning his past choices.
Where the hell did it all go wrong?
When did he make those first mistakes with Dad?
"Dean?" Castiel poked his head out of the doorframe, passing the flush paneling. The floor groaned with each step. "Are you…okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just…thinking." Dean brushed off. It was an obvious lie.
Cas could tell that from a mile away. If anything, he couldn't hide anything from the angel.
He scooted a little closer, his trenchcoat brushing against Dean's.
"You aren't fine, Dean. I'm an angel, I notice these things." Concern laced his tone.
"I know," the hunter breathed, staring out into the empty parking lot— except the black impala.
"Then why hide them?"
"There are some things that…" Dean's mouth formed a line. "that just….shouldn't be said."
A beat passed.
"Well, you can tell me." Another inch closer.
Dean's eyes scanned the angel for a moment, observing, sizing up his options— before he submitted.
He sighed, "Do you ever wonder…what it would've been like if we never became hunters? If Mom and Dad were never hunters? Hell, if the whole world didn't know Demons and Angels existed? Only the exorcists and Satanists? The crazies that summoned them for fun without a worry in the world? If we had no part in this damn Celestial War?" Dean gaped for air, "If we just…lived. Like normal people."
His eyes tranced the blue icy eyes staring back at him. Not affected by the looming darkness. "Do you ever wonder that?"
Castiel leaned on the railing in lieu of Dean's movements. "No. I haven't."
Dean's eyebrow rose in surprise, "Really?"
"Mhm.." the angel nodded, "but if I did have to, I would say I would've never raised you from Perdition. I would've never gone in a conquest to find God, or rebel against the Angels. And The Fall most likely would've never happened."
"See? Doesn't that sound fucking awesome? You would've never lost your grace, and like down here would've been— nice. Sam would've gone to college, and—" Dean began to daydream, as Cas snapped him back to reality.
"If that was true, Heaven would've gone to chaos." Castiel advocated. "And you both would've never stopped Michael, or Lilith." Michael's mere mention forced a shutter out of Dean. He continued, "Which means if you didn't know Angel's existed, and I wasn't here to warn you, nevertheless Zachariah… you would've inevitably said yes."
Dean blinked, taking in the news. Dammit. Another hole he had to think of. He groaned quietly to himself, arms sagging with his shoulders, "so there's really no escape then, huh?"
"I'm afraid not, Dean. Everything has its own rules. Including time." They both made momentary eye contact, as Dean pulled away.
"There's no change in the things that are bound to happen. No matter what you do."