Chapter 2 - Running Interference
When Elin and Chance got back to Westchester, neither of them had spoken to the other the whole flight back. A few times, one or the other would try to start a conversation, but they never got past the impulse to say something — at least, not beyond what needed to be said to take care of the twins.
As soon as they landed, they were practically accosted by Annie, who had obviously been missing her grandbabies. She scooped them up and immediately started cooing before she declared, "mine now," and walked off to get reacquainted. And that was good, because neither Elin nor Chance had the energy to deal with a welcome mob when they were both so entirely in their heads. And the twins would get plenty of attention off of them by going first.
That just left the two of them to unload their things.
And for just a moment, without the twins and before anyone else got there to welcome them home, they were truly alone. Chance cleared his throat with a quiet, "Hey, El," that caught her attention enough to look up at him before he let his gaze drop too. "I'm sorry."
Elin narrowed her eyes at that. "Don't do that," she said, grabbing the portable cribs, one in each hand, to take them upstairs, leaving Chance feeling even more like he had no idea how to help her.
"I am, though," he muttered under his breath long after she was gone before he grabbed a couple bags and headed out himself.
He had almost made it out of the hangar before Rachel stepped in, and he gave her the kind of glare that, on his brother or dad or sister, would have come with a red glow. "What, did you come down from Chicago just to say 'I told you so'?"
Rachel folded her arms, automatically matching his glare with one of her own. "I came down hoping that going out into the woods was the right call, but yeah, Dad's worried and wanted me to get a read on how things went once you got back. Not that I even have to try to use my powers when you're like this." She gestured at him with one hand. "Was it that bad the whole time?"
"I'm not debriefing with you about my vacation!" Chance shot back.
"Chance," Rachel started to say in a placating tone, but he cut her off.
"You were right, okay? Go ahead and celebrate or whatever it is you came to do, because you were right and I didn't see it until it was too late," Chance said, trying to shoulder past her. "Are you happy now? You were right; we were never on the same page."
Rachel stepped out of his way, purely because she could hear him projecting not anger but fear, and she wasn't going to give him the fight he was angling for. He was mad at himself, and he was terrified that he'd screwed up by letting Elin sacrifice for him again and that their relationship would always have that stain. That their kids would always be a reminder of that.
And the self-blame and determination to find a way to take it all on his own shoulders was also what she was worried about, but was he listening to that part of the advice she'd been trying to give him? Of course not.
It really was like locking horns with Scott sometimes, dealing with Chance.
Rachel frowned as she watched Chance go, and then, because the two of them really were having such a hard time getting past this, she went ahead and peeked at his memories of what had happened, so she could fill their dad in.
Both Rachel and Chance were so distracted that neither of them noticed that K had been coming toward the hangar — and had then hung back to hear what the story was. She'd already seen the look on Elin's face when her daughter had come back from the trip steeling herself to return to the world. And she'd seen Annie with the babies but not with Chance.
It hadn't taken a telepath to put together that things had fallen apart, but hearing Chance and Rachel, K was starting to get a better picture of the details.
She was already nodding to herself, deciding on her next course of action, before she called out to get Chance's attention. "Did you two have a nice little break?"
Chance stopped in the hall and turned to face her, his expression tight. But, to his credit, he didn't lie to her; he knew better than that. "While we were there, yeah," he said. "I think she loved being out in the woods. Thanks for setting us up."
K watched him for a moment before she put a hand on his arm with her best smile. "Would you be a dear and bring some coffee to the Danger Room?"
"Yeah, of course, Mom," Chance said with a reflexive smile. "How many do you need?"
K knew that as soon as Scott saw the Danger Room in use, he'd be there, especially if he put together who was in there, so she ruffled his hair and said, "Let's start with four and see if we need more once we get started."
"You got it," Chance said, already in motion with a chore to do.
With that settled, K simply had to wait until Elin came back to grab the very last of hers and Chance's things from the jet. She didn't even let Elin get to the hangar before she held a hand out and stopped her daughter in her tracks.
"Danger Room," she said, leaving no room for argument in her tone — and Elin knew better than to do anything but follow her mom when she was looking like that.
The two of them didn't really say much to each other short of the basic chit-chat. When they got to the Danger Room, it was in use, but once K punched in her code, the sim died. She took a few strides into the room to kick out the occupants — which was interesting, since the group of hopeful junior team members had never been kicked out by K before. Logan, sure, but it was rare for K to simply take the room over.
She waited until they were cleared out and then she looked up to see who was on the board before she hit the comm and told Cassie that she needed to lock the door to the booth on the way out. As soon as she knew that everyone was gone, she turned to Elin. "What the hell's wrong with you?"
"I don't know what the big deal is," Elin said. "Chance is pushing for me to go join the senior team with him, but … it's not like they need me. At all."
For a moment, K stared at her as if she'd grown an extra head, but when it didn't get her anywhere, she had to reach out and tap the side of Elin's head with the flat of her hand. "Try again."
"Hey," Elin said, taking a step back before her mother could land another one on her so easily. "They don't need four ferals on the team at once. And I've been off the team for … well. Almost a year."
"Yeah, did Scott or your father get the memo on that?" K asked before the two of them simply started to spar. "Because Scott in particular has been plotting and planning for you two to help handle things this whole time."
Elin looked visibly taken back at that — just long enough for K to sweep her feet out from under her. "No, he has not."
"Listen, I know he's getting older, but of all of Scotty's problems, he is not senile," K argued. "If you didn't hand in a letter of resignation, you're still on the roster. You've just been keeping yourself off of it playing house, you powder puff."
Of course, that was enough to get Elin riled, and she made an honest attack at her mother that really didn't have nearly the impact that she thought it would. "He's been talking with Chance — not me. I'm not in it."
"Wrong," K argued, then paused long enough for Elin to take a solid hit — even if she misjudged where she hit her mother and ended up swearing under her breath with a cracked wrist. "How long have you been ignoring every word that falls out of Scott's mouth? Mind you … I'm not going to totally bust you out, but your father will want something to be proud of."
Elin bristled visibly, but the conversation was cut short when the lights flickered and the door to the Danger Room opened up to let Chance in — and of course, he had brought both of them coffee. She took a few steps back from her mother, clearly not sure of the answer herself.
"You two," K said, shaking her head as she took the coffee from Chance. "Tell me what you think the trouble is, big boy."
Chance looked between the two of them, suddenly taking a tighter grip on the remaining coffee. "I… tried to tell her she's not superfluous," he said, wondering what else Elin might have told K, especially when he still felt like the whole thing was his fault in the first place.
"She's not ignoring you, she doesn't believe you," K said, shaking her head. "But I get it. I do." She started toward the door. "The girl is depressed. Internalized too much already. But you knew that about this family before you married in."
"I did, and I took her out to reset," Chance pointed out.
"And that was wonderful," K said, nodding. "But it also didn't address what had her thinking that way in the first place." She gave Chance a little half-smile. "You missed it when she turned off."
"I know." Chance was paper-white and deathly quiet. "I know. And I'm so sorry." He hoped Elin knew he was sorry about all of it, but he was honestly still not sure how to approach that part of things, the part where he'd pushed her even while promising her that the next step was her choice. Their lines of communication had fallen apart so badly on that score that he wasn't sure he should even be there in that moment.
"She's considered herself off the team since practically the beginning of the pregnancy," K said when the two of them still seemed to be looking past each other. "It's incredibly hard to feel like you're just on leave when you listen to all the plans and thoughts and hopes that go along with something when you can't have anything to do with it." She gave Chance a significant look. "I think you'd get that part, at least."
Chance felt his face go bright red, and he looked down at the coffee. "No one ever stopped trying to involve you, El," he said quietly. "And I don't know how to make you believe that, but it's true."
"That doesn't change the fact that that's how it felt," Elin said, her eyes narrowed.
"I know," Chance said, even more quietly. "And I'm sorry I screwed up not seeing how this hurt you."
Elin scoffed, already drawing herself up, because she could see him doing what he always did and didn't want to put up with that. But K got there first.
"You're both still talking past each other," she said. "Chance, you know better than anyone that the women in my family don't cave for no reason, so stop looking like your father or so help me…"
"Can't help that," Chance said automatically, which at least got an affectionate huff out of Elin.
"Just because she agreed to it doesn't mean the consequences weren't hard," K said. "And you can't keep acting like this will be some easy fix. You can't argue with someone that's beating themselves up and already thinks their feelings are not relevant."
Elin flat out growled at her mother for that one, but of course, K simply moved her hand from Chance's mouth to Elin's cheek. "Chance, sweetie, you need to understand how heavy depression works."
"Mom," Chance said in a tired tone, "I literally dropped everything to take her north. I know she was hurting. I don't know what else to do except try to get her back to normal."
"Yes. you did a great job resetting her, but it didn't change what she thought her truth was. It didn't happen overnight. It's going to take time to fix."
"That's why I want you back on the team, El," he said, shaking his head. "I've been trying to tell you this whole time that I can see you hate not being on it. It's not going to get better by staying away and watching everyone continue on without you. That's just going to make it worse."
Elin turned her head away from him, but K didn't let her slip off, instead dragging her toward the booth, knowing Scott was already up there. "This isn't just a simple 'come back'," K said. "This is one of those where you have to admit to Scott how long you think you've been out." She looked over at Chance. "Then you can know exactly how long your wife has been under the impression that she's entirely useless."
"No, no, I got that loud and clear. From the start when she got off the team. I heard," Chance said, his arms crossed. "And I'm sorry I didn't see it, El. Won't happen again."
K shook her head at him and let out a sigh before she knocked on the door. "Annie didn't let you touch the babies, did she?" she asked Scott.
Scott smirked as he waved them in. "Not even a little bit," he said. "What's going on?" he asked, even if it was abundantly clear he had been watching — and K had known it, judging by how easily she handed off the coffee.
"Major Miscommunication," K said. "That I'm sure you're at least a little familiar with."
"Vaguely," Scott said, gesturing for them to sit down.
"Scotty," K said as she took a seat and leaned back. "Do you know how long Elin hasn't been hearing a word when you've talked about the team with Chance?"
Scott looked between K's expression and Elin's glare before he let out a breath. "It's clearly been longer than I thought," he said.
"As far as she's concerned, she hasn't been a part of any of it since practically the announcement."
Scott leaned back and watched them for a moment and then nodded. "Ah. Okay," he said slowly, then turned Elin's way. "Well, for your information, you're still on the team. And I'll take it as a personal insult if you try to tell me otherwise, seeing as I'm the one running the roster. I think I'd know if you were off it at any time." He shook his head. "I've been looking forward to seeing you on the senior team and getting to watch you stretch your wings."
"It's unnecessary," Elin said through her teeth.
"What is, Elin? Getting to see you shine?" Scott asked with one eyebrow raised.
"All of this," she said. "I've been out, it hasn't affected anyone, so … why screw it up?"
Scott looked between the three others in the room before he let out a long sigh and slowly got to his feet to make his way over to Elin, putting one hand on either of her shoulders to look her in the face before he pulled her into a long hug.
Elin didn't see it when K reached over and tapped Chance in the chest with the back of her hand a little harder than she usually would have.
Scott kept Elin in the hug for a long time and didn't let her go when he did finally speak again, actually tucking her in harder as he said in a very soft whisper, "Elin, you will be an amazing addition to the team. I've been doing this since before you were born; I think I'd know." He smirked. "Besides, I'm getting old. I want to see the people I love happy doing the things they're good at and love."
Elin, for her part, just snuggled in and stayed right there.
Scott didn't move until Elin did, and when that finally happened, he kissed her forehead. "Now," he said. "Team practice is on Friday after class. I'll be up in the booth, so please, feel free to show off and impress your father-in-law," he teased lightly.
"I'm sure it would be more like me trying not to fall on my face," she said, rolling her eyes.
"I've been there," Scott said with a little smirk. "The key is not to stay down." He gestured to himself. "Do what you can. I of all people can tell you that there's more to the X-Men than just the physicality."
"It's okay, Scott. She's just dealing with a hard come down from being one of the big bads," K said. "The only hit she landed in our spar broke her wrist. She just needs to blow off the cobwebs."
"That's what practice is for," Scott said with a smirk, then turned back to Elin. "Alright. If you two need some extra sparring time after all that relaxing in the woods, I'll set up some Danger Room time and run you through the gauntlet."
Chance smirked Elin's way. "Lookit that. Date night already planned out and chaperoned by my dad. Not weird at all."
"Shut up, Summers," Elin said with a little growl, already heading out when it seemed like no one was going to stop her.
"Uh-huh." Chance shook his head and then reached over to give K a hug. "Thanks, Mom. I'm going to go find my kids and make sure Mom shares."
"She'll share when she's ready," K told him as the door closed behind Elin. "You left your mother stranded, Chance. Stranded."
"Not sorry," he said. "Elin's feeling better, even if she's still…" He gestured her way.
"Clearly, you need lessons from your dad on how to take care of a feral right. Decades of experience there, Padawan. Decades and decades."
"Yeah, okay," Chance said, his expression going flat as he gathered up the coffee cups and quietly excused himself.
Scott waited until Chance was gone before he sighed, dropped his shoulders, and turned toward K to rest his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks," he said quietly. "They needed the translator."
"She's been hiding it to keep him happy," K told him frankly.
"I know. And she finally told him just before they flew back that she'd only given him the green light because he wanted it so badly. He's convinced he's ruined her, so lay off a little until he cools down."
"I know," K said, just as slowly. "I'll lay off of him, but you need to take a moment to make sure he understands that her issues are not something he can control. That's on her. Especially after she dove into this before she was really ready for him. Her mistake, but she's paying for it nonetheless. So, yes, I want to be sure Chance is okay? But I need to be sure my daughter doesn't get lost to the point that she leaves if she thinks it's too much."
"And I'll talk to him. I'm just trying to tell you what I'm seeing so we don't have two kids on our hands with complexes."
She did laugh at that. "We wouldn't have to have this conversation if they didn't already have complexes."
"Fair point." Scott worked his jaw for a moment, frowning in the direction Chance had just left. "I'm going to suggest they go back to that therapist Kurt had the kids see when they got married. The marriage and family counselor. Those two … no one could possibly say they don't love each other, but they keep cutting pieces of themselves out to try to make the other happy, and if they crash…" He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair, visibly stressed. "Elin means the world to me. And I'm so sorry it's gotten to this point. She doesn't deserve to think she has to throw herself away."
"And you know you and Chance mean the world to me," K said in a breath. "But there are two sides to this — and though he's making the concessions he can, it's pretty clear to me that she's having trouble dealing with becoming a mom and feeling like the last portion of her life wasn't the end of her life as she knew it. The emphasis on matronly sacrifice can hit hard. But I don't expect you to understand it. I don't think you can."
"I know she wasn't hearing it, but I also know he's spent two months trying his best only to come home to hear he doesn't get it. That's not really helpful. I can tell you from experience: we hear what you say … we just want to help."
K nodded. "I know. But there are some things you can't fix. Like her rushing in to appease him and realizing after she got pregnant that she was nowhere near ready. He spent the past two months being wonderful, I know. But she spent the last nine-plus feeling like her worth is in those kids and nothing else. She can't see herself for who she was."
Scott leaned back and gestured broadly. "It comes down to neither of them feeling like their feelings are valid. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let this go on without both of them knowing they have advocates. Both of them."
"I love you, Scott," K said. "But I have never met anyone in my life that makes it irritating to agree with sometimes. And I'm not going to stop trying to advocate for her — even if you don't get that side of it."
Scott smirked at that, but since they were both in agreement, he had to try to cut the tension with a little tease. "The feeling is entirely mutual."
"I'm sure," she said with a little laugh. "And doubly so for you."
"I'm getting totally outnumbered," he said, the smirk widening.
"I'll tell Logan it's over, then," K replied with a smile. "Give you something else to deal with."
"Yes, K, because that's exactly what I need in my elder years," Scott said dryly. "I definitely need a heartbroken Logan on top of our idiot kids."
"Perspective," K said. "That's all I'm saying. It could be much more irritating."
Scott shook his head at her. "K, I'm very grateful to you for making things easier around here, but if you make me put up with Logan in that state, I'll never speak to you again."
"Well, in that scenario, that's probably accurate. You know. Because I'd be gone."
"Go away, K," he said, shaking his head at her, though the smirk was still obvious.
"Sounded like a request," she said with a little laugh. "I'll be sure to put that in my letter."
"Out of my booth," he said. "Before I throw something at you."
What Scott wasn't expecting was that the very next time K saw Chance, she put everything aside and made a point to head over to him and wrap him up in a snuggle. "You're a wonderful son-in-law; I've told you that, right?"
Chance looked surprised by the move before he hugged her back. "Umm… yes?"
"I just wanted to be sure that I was clear. I'm sure something was lost between the Howlett-Summers translation, but you've been doing everything right that you know how to do. Keep it up."
Chance looked surprised again for a moment before K could actually see the relief in his expression, and he all but melted into her, resting his head on her shoulder and holding her tightly.
"Yeah, love you too," K said. "And I know it's hard to deal with us. It's normal. Her particular brand of misery isn't one you're prepared for."
"I just want her to be alright," he said quietly.
"I know. And you're doing all that you can do right now," she promised. "The rest is up to her and her thick head."
Chance nodded and doubled down on the hug for a moment before he took a deep breath and tried to surreptitiously wipe his face with the heels of his hands. "So, d'you think we'll have to drag James in for the same thing, or is his head harder?" he asked with a small smile.
"Definitely harder," K said, though she was frowning slightly. "What fresh hell of stupid is he into now?"
Chance frowned. "I thought you knew," he said. "He's been convinced that he's superfluous since before Elin started up."
"Oh, I thought he'd gotten over it after he spent some time on the team," K said.
Chance shook his head. "Pretty sure half the reason he's on the Avengers is because he thinks they need him and we don't."
She nodded. "I can see that," she said. "But … if there was only room for one person with this powerset, how do they explain me and their father?"
Chance shrugged. "Hey, I know better than to get into that argument again. I can't logic away the useless feeling."
"You're a good boy," she said, nodding. "And you're right. You can't use logic to attack something that hits deeper than the brain. Which … is probably where there has always been a little disconnect between our families." She smiled his way. "Sometimes, it's hard to find the words to attach to the feeling in your gut. Which just makes it harder to logic through."
"Well, that, and we tend to respond to emotion by planning," Chance said with a smirk. "I mean, my sister is literally an empath and still tries to logic through it all."
K nodded. "And we respond to it by following our instincts."
"No offense, Mom, but sometimes your instincts are stupid."
"Believe it or not, the ones you think are stupid are the very tiny 'flight' instincts in action."
"I didn't think you had those," Chance teased. "What does that even look like?"
She gestured toward the stairs, where Elin hadn't appeared yet. "Depression, mostly. Isolation. Self blame. Doubt."
"We go the opposite way," Chance said. "Massive anxiety and an attempt to fix everything."
"Oh, there is anxiety," K agreed. "But if it's just aimed to the self," she rested one hand over her heart, "that always feels more … of a throwaway. If it's aimed at someone else? Fight tooth and nail for them."
Chance shrugged. "Yeah. Well. On that part, we tend to agree."
She gave him another little smile and then pulled him into another hug. "I'll keep an eye on James and do what I can."
Chance smiled at her. "Thanks, Mom."