Sookie's POV:
I could hear the rain beating against the shingles on the roof of my Gran's old farmhouse as I lie on my bed. I tilt my head to the side to look at the clock. It was currently 3:30 in the afternoon. I had to be at work in a half hour, but I couldn't care less if I was late.
Everyday seemed like a struggle to wake up and do the things I was expected to do. I missed Eric immensely. He was constantly on my mind since the last time we spoke over two months ago at the airport. I was lonely for him, but I was also deeply hurt by the fact that he hadn't called or answered his phone. At first I had thought that he had somehow lost my number. But then I tried to call him, but every call went to voicemail. After awhile I stopped trying to get ahold of him. I didn't want him to think I was some sort of crazy, obsessed woman. I get off my bed to look at my disheveled self in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes and my hair was messy. Hell, maybe I was a crazy, obsessive woman.
I wasn't sure what to make of it and why he was avoiding me. Tara had suggested that I try to contact his management or the film production company. I had become friends with Indira, and we had exchanged numbers. A week after Eric left, I called her to see if she had seen Eric. She indicated that she had seen him in one of the Hollywood night spots the previous night. That tidbit of info had made me feel even more sad and upset. Why was he avoiding me? Had I done something wrong?
I needed closure; that is if our relationship was over or not. Maybe he was confused? Maybe I had scared him away with my declaration of love? I had tried not to fall in love with him, but I did. I had given him my virginity and my heart all in one shot. He hadn't uttered those words back to me, but I could see the love he had for me in his eyes. Or maybe I was just deluding myself.
I let out a huge sigh and get ready for work.
I am five minutes late for my shift at Merlotte's and Sam gives me a disapproving glance. I had been late so many times these past several weeks that I was surprised that I hadn't been fired yet.
"You're late again Sookie," Arlene scolds me. She grabs the plates for her table. "I don't know why Sam puts up with you."
"I know why," Lafayette comments quietly as he flips the burgers.
I close my eyes despondently. I knew why as well. I knew that Sam had a crush on me, ever since the first day I applied to work here two years ago. I wasn't sure why he had never asked me out, but I was glad he didn't. I liked Sam, but I have ever only liked him as a friend.
I clock in and begin my shift. We make it though the dinner rush with only a few hiccups, before the bar closes for the night. Sam counts the till and hands each of us our tip money.
I think back to the night and recall that I hadn't received much tips from my customers.
"You look depressed Sookie, no one wants a sad waitress serving them their food," Lafayette says as though he had read what was on my mind just now.
"I know," I say dejectedly.
"Whatever it is that you're going through, you need to fix it ASAP," he says as he leaves for the night.
"Sookie, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sam says to me from behind.
"Sure, Sam," I respond.
I follow him to his office and he closes his door while I take a seat.
"Sookie, are you feeling well?" he asks. "I mean, I don't mean to pry, but you haven't been yourself for a long time."
I stare at his computer in silence. I wanted to say that I was fine, but that would have been a lie. Not only was I not a good liar, but I hated dishonesty in general.
"I don't know Sam," I respond. "I think I need some time to get my head together."
"Is it because of Eric Northman?" he says hesitantly.
I shoot him a look.
"Sookie, I kind of figured you were dating him, when you would stay on the set after we had finished catering for the day," Sam responds.
I let out a sigh. I didn't want to talk about this with Sam or anyone. I don't think anyone would've understood how I felt.
Sam looks at me for a few seconds, before going into his tin cannister. He pulls out a wad of bills and begins counting the money.
After he finishes counting silently, he hands over some of the money to me.
"What's that for?" I ask him.
"It's your vacation pay. I am giving you one weeks' worth of salary to take a week off. Now before you say anything, you've earned this money. You are one of the most hard-working employees I have ever hired," Sam says.
I pick up the money and look at it. I was beyond grateful. "Thanks Sam."
"Now get some rest Sookie. I hope that you will be refreshed when you come back to work," Sam says.
I clock out for the night and head home.
The next morning, the telephone rings.
"I got it Gran!" I say loudly to my Gran who was busy in the kitchen.
"Hello?" I answer.
"Hi Sookie, what are you up to?" Tara says.
"Oh nothing much, I was gonna help Gran and maybe run to the library to borrow some more books. Sam gave me the week off with pay," I tell her.
"Ooooooo, yeah I heard," she answers.
"How did you hear that?" I ask.
"Because I was the one who suggested to him that you needed a vacation. Sookie, I know how sad and depressed you've been since Eric left," she says.
"I know Tara, but I will get better," I lament.
"Yes, so that's why we are going to California tomorrow!" she exclaims.
I blink a few times and am silent.
"Sookie, are you there?" Tara asks.
"Yes, I'm still here. What do you mean?" I finally ask.
"It was a surprise. I knew how you have been feeling lately and your Gran and Jason knew as well, so we all pitched in to buy you a plane ticket. I bought my own of course to accompany you to Los Angeles," she says.
"We're going to Los Angeles?" I say with no emotion in my voice. I wasn't sure how to feel. I mean I wanted to see Eric again, but I was also unsure of showing up unexpectedly because he hadn't even bothered to try and contact me after all these weeks.
"Yes! Now get packing! Pack lots of bikinis and short mini dresses for the nightclubs. I bet Eric's tongue will drop when he sees you!" she says.
"I don't know what to say," I say to her.
"Don't say nothing! Just get ready. I got to go. My mother is taking over my store while we're gone. I have to go over some stuff with her," Tara says. "I'll see you soon!"
I pack my clothes as Gran explains that she and Jason pooled some of their savings together to buy me a plane ticket. I check my savings account to see how much I would need for meals, transportation, and hotel. I didn't want Tara to pay for everything. I wanted to go halfers with her for this trip.
Later that night, the excitement builds inside me. I was going to see Eric! I had his address, he had given it to me when he was here. Since he wasn't taking my calls, I guess I was going to have to surprise him tomorrow. I hoped that he would have a valid reason for not calling me. Or maybe he didn't have one. Either way, I was going to Los Angeles for some much-needed closure or to be with the man that I loved.
The next day we board the flight that was taking us to Los Angeles. This was my first trip away from Louisiana. I had gone to New Orleans a few times before, but this trip was my first time going out of state. I knew that seemed pathetic, but I truly loved Louisiana and Bon Temps. I never had the desire to leave home, that is until now.
"Just let me know how much I owe you for the hotel Tara," I tell her as we walk down the hall, looking for our room.
"Oh, we can sort that out when we get home, we made it to Hollywood baby!" Tara exclaims in excitement as we enter our room.
It was a decent size with a small minifridge and two double-sized beds. The carpet looked a bit dinghy and our view wasn't the greatest, but we made it! I knew that Tara was excited to see all the tourist attractions as well as experiencing the night life. She had talked non-stop on the flight about the places and movie stars she wanted to see, but the only person that I wanted to see was Eric.
I take my phone out of my purse and begin dialing Eric's number. The last time I tried it was a week ago and it went straight to voicemail. The phone rings once before going straight to voicemail again. I try to leave a message, but the automatic voice tells me the mailbox is full.
"I'm going to go see him Tara," I say as I look at the address in my notepad.
"Oh honey, I think you should freshen up first. You don't want your man to see you like that! You're wearing sweatpants and your hair is a mess Sookie," Tara comments.
Ouch! She was right. But in my defense, I dressed this way because I wanted to have a comfortable flight. It wasn't easy travelling in one of those low-budget airlines. There was barely any leg space and the kid sitting behind me kept poking my arm.
I take a shower and get ready to see Eric. I blow-dry my hair and apply some makeup and styling mousse. I had packed plenty of sundresses and decide to put on the white lace dress that I knew Eric liked. He had almost ripped it off my body during one of the many times that we had had sex at his place.
An hour later, I am in a taxi that was taking me to the address of Eric's apartment. I look up at the building. It looked modest, not like one of those luxurious-looking buildings and there also a doorman.
I walk up to the doorman, "Uhhh I'm looking for Eric Northman's residence. I believe he lives in apartment 1500."
The doorman scans me from my sandals to my face, before stopping for a few seconds on my breasts. I cover them with my arms. I knew I should've worn a cardigan.
"He doesn't live here anymore," he says.
"Wait, are you sure?" I ask confused.
"Yes, he doesn't live in this building anymore. He moved out a few weeks ago," he says.
"Ohhh. Uhhh do you know where he lives now?" I ask. I could feel my emotions reeling in a mixture of confusion and despair.
"Lady, they don't usually let me know where they are moving to. If you really know him, then wouldn't he have told you what his new address was?" he retorts.
He got me there. I walk away feeling massively disappointed. What was I going to do now?
I walk about a block before I decide to call Tara. I tell her that Eric didn't live there anymore and had moved. She tells me to call the cab company to bring me back to the hotel.
"Oh my god Tara, what am I going to do?" I say sadly. "I have no clue where to look for him."
"Sookie, don't lose hope," Tara says. "You still have connections. Call your friend!"
Indira! Maybe she knew where he was.
I call her but I only reach her voicemail. I leave a message letting her know that I was in town and was wondering where Eric was.
I wasn't hungry, but I walk a few blocks from the hotel with Tara to have a light dinner.
"I'm starving," Tara says as she looks at the menu.
I scan the menu before my phone rings. It was Indira.
"Hello?" I answer.
"Sookie! So, you're in town now?" she says.
"Yes, I just arrived this morning," I reply.
"That's awesome. I got your message, unfortunately, I don't have a clue where Eric lives now," Indira says.
"Ohhhhhh," I say sadly. Shit, what was I going to do? I wanted to go home now. This trip was turning out to be a disaster.
"Sookie, don't sound so down," Indira replies. "Because I happen to know where Eric will be tonight. There's a party at Chateau Marmont. I think it starts at eight, but most people don't start showing up till after ten. Listen, I can't make it tonight, but I will get my assistant to leave your name at the door to let you in."
"Oh my god, thank you so much Indira," I say happily with a big smile of relief on my face. "Could you give them my friend's name too? It's Tara Thornton."
"No problem Sookie," she replies. "Have fun tonight. I will talk to you later."
I end the call and squeal rather loudly as some of the patrons give me a glare. I let Tara know what our plans were for tonight. She squeals in excitement as well as we begin talking about what we were going to wear to the party.
We return to the hotel to start getting ready. Tara helps me with my hair and makeup. I throw all my clothes on my bed and try to figure out what to wear. I pick up the white dress with red flower splotches and decide on that. It was the dress that I had worn for my first date with Eric.
A few hours later, we are ready. We call a cab and it takes us to the hotel. There were many expensive cars, limos, and SUVs lined up as guests begin to trickle in.
"There's no way we can get any closer ladies," our cab driver says.
"Oh great," Tara huffs. "I guess we will walk from here."
We pay the driver and begin walking to the entrance. I glance at Tara. I couldn't believe how beautiful she looked tonight. She was wearing a skin-tight emerald satin dress that clung to her slender frame. Her dark curly hair was in an updo and her makeup matched her olive colored complexion perfectly.
We wait in the line. We start to get closer and I begin to get even more nervous. I had been looking around, trying to see if I recognized Eric, but so far I hadn't seen him yet.
We finally reach the front. I give the security my name as he looks over his list.
"Snookie Stackhouse?" he says.
"Uhhh, no it's Sookie, Sookie Stackhouse," I say as my face reddens a bit.
He looks me and Tara over before letting us in.
"Ahhh I can't believe it!" Tara says as we make our way to the party.
It was dark in there, but there was enough light to see and mingle with other people. The music was blasting as people gyrated on the dancefloor. I look around the room again to spot Eric, but I didn't see him.
Tara and I find a small table. She orders drinks right away and chugs them down. I only order a soda. I didn't want to be buzzed or drunk when I finally saw him.
It isn't long before Tara is drunk and is begging me to dance with her. I oblige her and dance a couple of songs with her. A man comes up behind her and starts dancing with her. She puts her arms around his neck and moves closely to him.
"I'm gonna go sit down Tara," I yell to her.
She waves her hand at me and I go back to our table. I sit down and watch the crowd for another hour. I keep scanning the crowd continuously, but so far, I don't see him. Maybe he decided not to come.
I close my eyes hopelessly, with feelings of gloominess overshadowing me again.
"Did you want to go sit in the VIP section?" Tara yells. I had not seen or heard her returning to our table. I look at her and see the same man that she had been dancing with earlier.
"Eggs here, can get us in there," she says as she puts her arm around his waist.
I nod my head and follow them. The security checkpoint lets us in and we walk down the hall. The music wasn't as loud in this room as it was on the main floor. I look around and see a few familiar faces that I recognized from movies and tv shows that I had seen over the years. Though it was intriguing to be in the same space as some Hollywood stars, I was only interested in seeing Eric.
We stop near a booth as Tara and Eggs slide into it. There were a few other people already sitting in it. From the way they were greeting Eggs, I guess these people were his friends.
"Come on, Sookie, you can squeeze in too," Tara says.
Just as I was about to sit down, I suddenly catch a glimpse of the man that I had been looking for. I notice his long blonde hair at first, because it was the same shade as mine. His back was turned to me, but I knew whose gorgeous butt that belonged to. I had spent many times ogling it when we were together.
A smile begins to form on my mouth, but that quickly fades away as I continue to look more closer at him. A pair of slender hands were wrapped around his waist and one of those hands squeezes his ass. Eric begins turning slightly towards my viewpoint, along with the girl who was clinging to him. His eyes were closed as his lips were glued to her lips. She was tall, beautiful, and slender. She laid her brunette head against his chest after they briefly stop making out and she kept her body close to his. I start to think back to the many moments when that used to be me in her position.
I continue to stare at them, bewildered, but I could feel hot tears forming behind my eyes. I had to get out of here. I couldn't start crying in the middle of a party.
"Sooke?" I could hear Tara faintly calling out my name as I continue to stare at Eric making out with the woman again.
"I need to get out of here," I whisper, as I rush out. I brush past the other patrons as I try to find my way out. I finally find the front entrance out to the street, but I was too late. Tears blur my vision, as I feel my heart breaking in two. I loved him and I thought he had felt the same way! I thought he cared about me! I thought that we were together, that we were still a couple! But it was all just bullshit!
I let out a few sobs. One of the security guards ask me if I was alright, but Tara comes to me, followed by Eggs.
"Sookie! What's the matter?" Tara asks.
I continue to sob. "It's Eric, he's in there, but he's with someone else. He's with another girl!"
"What!? That bastard!" Tara seethes. "You want me to go in there and hit him?!"
"Noo!" I cry out. "I mean I just want to get out of here. I want to go back to the room."
Eggs calls me a cab. Tara tells me that she was going to come with me, but I tell her to continue with her evening. I didn't want to spoil her night, even though mine had gone to shit. Tara and Eggs get into another cab, intending to go to another party, while I head back to the room.
When I reach the hotel room, I sit on my bed and cry. I knew that my makeup was probably smeared as I continue to cry. After I calm down, I go to the bathroom and wash it off. I take off my dress and put on my pajamas. I pull the covers over me and scan my phone. I delete and block Eric's number. I sniffle a few more times before finally falling asleep.
The next day, Tara and I sit in a restaurant and have breakfast, but I don't eat anything. I pick at my hashbrowns as I listen to Tara telling me all about who she met last night.
"That's great Tara," I say flatly. "I've been thinking all morning about this. I'm just going to go home. I looked up flights and saw that I can change my flight to one that's leaving tonight. I can be home by midnight."
"You're leaving already?!" Tara says sounding surprised. "You can't go, we only just got here!"
"There's nothing for me here," I reply.
"Sookie, I know it stinks to find out that your man is a lying cheat, but you can't let him ruin your trip. We can still have fun. We came so far," Tara says.
"Tara, I can't stay here. I can't stand being here for another second," I retort. "I've made up my mind. I'm heading home tonight."
After a long day of travelling, I finally make it home. Jason had picked me up from the airport and Gran had stayed up to wait for me.
"Oh Gran…." I weep as I go to hug her sadly.
"Sookie….," is all she says as she holds me while I continue to cry.
For the next two weeks I barely get out of bed. I had taken an extra week off of work, but this time there was no pay.
"You need to work Sookie," Jason says as eats the sandwiches that Gran had made him. "You're not exactly rich and Gran only gets so much in government pension."
I sigh sadly. "You're right."
Later, I call Sam and tell him to put my name back on the schedule. A week later I was getting ready to go in for the midday shift when the landline telephone rings. I answer it without looking at the caller I.D.
"Hello, Stackhouse residence," I say, but I was met with silence.
"Hello?" I ask again.
"Sookie?" a voice asks on the other side. It was a voice that I had been longing to hear from for so many months.
"Eric," I finally say.
"Uhhh, how have you been?" he says in a reluctant tone.
"What do you want?" I say rather harshly.
"I wanted to apologize," he says.
"Really?" I scoff. "Well Eric, it's a little too late for that. Don't ever call me again."
I slam the phone down and head out to work.
The next day, I head back to work for the midday and evening shift. I was pulling a double today, for two reasons. First, I needed the money, and secondly, I needed to get my mind off the phone call with Eric. What did he want? Did he just call to break up with me officially? Though I didn't want to talk to him because of how angry I was, I was also a tad bit curious as to what he had to say and what his apology was for.
It was about 9:30 in the evening when the crowd began to slow down. There were only our regular nightly customers left, so I help Sam behind the bar.
I was putting the glasses away when suddenly someone, whom I didn't expect to see, walks in.
I look up and for a moment I am breathless. Though I was still angry with Eric, I couldn't help but still feel enthralled by how devastatingly handsome he was. He was wearing a black tank-top with black jeans and a black leather jacket. His beautiful blonde hair cascading over his shoulders.
My heart felt like it was ready to explode inside my chest as he finally sees me and begins walking towards me.
"Hello, Sookie. Can I talk to you privately for a moment?" he asks me. I was speechless. It was then that I realized how much I had missed him and hearing his voice.
"Uhhhh, excuse me, but Sookie is busy right now. And besides, I'm not sure she wishes to see you," Sam says with a firm voice.
Eric shoots him a menacing glare. I had forgotten that Sam was standing beside me.
"It's okay Sam," I tell him calmly. "I will take my fifteen minute break right now."
There was nowhere private for us to go, so I lead Eric outside to the parking lot. I walk towards my car and lean against the passenger side.
I fold my arms against my chest and stare at him. Though I was initially enthralled by his presence, I quickly remember the mess and devastation he had caused in my life.
Though I could tell he wanted to get closer to me, he keeps his distance. I was glad for it, I needed the space between us. I knew that if he had even given me a brief touch, I would most likely fall into his arms and fall in love with him all over again.
"How are you?" Eric finally says.
I scoff. "What do you think?"
He looks down to the ground before looking up at me again. "I'm sorry. I should've called you like I said I would."
"Did you really come all the way here just to say that?" I ask.
"No," he says after a brief pause.
"I came here…. because I missed you," Eric says. "I regret how I have handled things."
I gulp back the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks. I couldn't forgive him. I couldn't forgive him for ghosting me. I couldn't forgive him for cheating on me. I just couldn't.
"Well, it's too late," I say. I could feel my bottom lip quivering, but I decide to stay strong. "I'm not the same person I was before. I loved you Eric. But you broke my heart and I don't think I could ever forgive you."
"Sookie, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but…." Eric says.
"There is nothing left to say!" I cry out. "You can't just do that to people! You can't just toy with another person's emotions and expect them to take it! I feel like you used me! You used me then you threw me away when I had no more use for you!"
Eric stands there silently, looking forlornly at me.
I let out a huge sigh. "You know, life is too short to feel hatred and misery. And I am going to do what you did to me. I will cut you out of my life and will move on. You don't deserve me and you most certainly don't deserve my love. Now get back into your car, drive away, and never come back to this town or me again."
He stands there for a moment before doing what I had just asked him to do.
I watch him drive away. As soon as I could no longer see the back of his car, the tears flow from my eyes as I lean back against my car.
I take a few minutes to collect myself, before going back in to finish my shift.
I was soooo never going to fall in love with anyone else again. I was determined to live a life without love.