Sheldon laid awake. The bed was made perfectly to be as comfortable as it was humanly possible, the room was dark and he was wearing earbuds to dampen his sensitive hearing.

All of these things were things that through the years made it easy for him to fall asleep, and yet, here he was. Awake.

He didn't have to turn to look at the alarm clock, his own internal clock knew that it was three in the morning. Other people would most likely turn and toss in bed, but he was Sheldon Cooper PhD and he did not do such a thing.

Instead he laid awake and stared at his ceiling.

It's been a month since the Arctic, a month since the betrayal was revealed. His 'friends' continued living as if everything was fine, as if they hadn't destroyed his career. Leonard even achieved his goal of entering into a relationship with Penny.

But Sheldon laid awake, staring at the ceiling and thinking.

Betrayal. Such a curious word. Sheldon thought that it lacked something, it did not do justice to the feeling under his ribs, to the anguish that plagued his mind. Sheldon liked creating new words but even he found himself lacking trying to come up with a word that captured all of these feelings into a proper single word.

Ein Vertrauensbruch.

Sheldon hummed, something he rarely did before the Arctic event. German always seemed to have a word for everything and it was the closest word that felt satisfactory.

裏切り

Japanese seemed appropriate as well, to cut another in the back.

Sheldon let out a breath in frustration. Here he was, losing sleep while the rest of the world kept moving forward. His friends were more than happy to let him fall on his own sword. Sheldon did not miss anything…a bitter laugh forces its way through his mouth at his own lie.

He had missed the electric can opener.

Sheldon shook his head at the hubris he still showed despite knowing it had been his downfall. Habits are hard to break and Sheldon Cooper was a creature of habits. But no, he had not missed the way his friends not so subtly tried to make him accept all the fault so their career would not be jeopardized.

His mother might have been proud of him for forgiving his friends but now Sheldon couldn't sleep. Couldn't work. Couldn't find satisfaction in his hobbies.

So, he laid awake at night and stared at the ceiling.

Something had to change or he would go insane. Sighing he closed his eyes and tried to force himself to sleep.

'I need to talk to Meemaw.'

Sheldon opened his eyes in surprise. The thought had been errant, there before he could fully realize it…but it wasn't a bad idea. His Meemaw did not have the same religious compulsions that his mother had.

She'd be a fair judge of the situation.

Penny smiled as the guys entered 4A, she knew that things were a little tense between them still but she was hoping that soon things would go back to normal.

"Sheldon, Honey. I got your Tangerine Chicken, I made sure the chicken was diced and-"

"Thank you Penny. But I'm not hungry at the moment."

Sheldon moved to his room, never looking up from the floor and Penny's words died in her throat. Her eyes watered at seeing him so defeated. She turned to the other guys in concern.

"Guys, we have to do something, Sheldon is not acting like himself since you went to get him back from Texas."

"I know!" Howard said gleefully. "We have been able to have lunch in peace, we can eat burgers on pizza night and we don't have to watch Star Trek on loop anymore." He threw himself against the couch and sighed in exaggerated joy.

Raj nodded but his smile was shaky.

"Enjoy it while you can guys, soon Sheldon will be back to his normal self." Leonard smiled wryly and went to kiss her.

Penny kissed him back chastely but she would not let herself be distracted.

"I'm serious. Something's wrong." She put her hands on her hips and glared at the group. "You're sure that you told me everything about why Sheldon went to Texas?"

The guys shared a quick look but before she could judge if it was a guilty look they were already nodding and telling her how Sheldon took things out of proportion like always and he couldn't take a joke.

Penny glanced at the hallway and decided against going to see Sheldon.

She'd do it later.

"...Moonpie." Meemaw's voice lost all teasing. "Why in the hell would you listen to your mother? Did you even explained it properly to her? What these bastards do to you?"

"No. Mother refused to listen and said that whatever it was 'It couldn't be that bad.' so I stopped trying."

"I will go and deal with her later. Now listen to me, Sheldon Cooper. I didn't raise no bitch."

"Meemaw!" Sheldon removed his phone from his ear and gave it a scandalized look.

"Shush! Now, listen to me very well. Our family, and yes, that includes your Pop-pop, our family doesn't stay quiet. We get even."

"..."

"I know your dad taught you how to fight. Why didn't you swing at the bastards that did this?"

"Violence is a primal response and I'm an intelle-"

"You're the one losing sleep."

"..."

"You're the one throwing away everything you worked for."

"I'm no-"

"Are you really happy with the way things are right now?"

"..."

"Sheldon Cooper. I asked you a question."

"No." He muttered against his phone.

"I know you don't like change. But Moonpie, things have already changed."

"I…I will think on this conversation."

"You better do that. Your Pop-pop would be terribly sad to know you let some no-good goblins bring you down to this level."

"..."

"You're Sheldon Lee Cooper. Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't." Sheldon said quietly.

"I love you Moonpie."

"I love you too Meemaw."

Penny laughed at something Leonard said, she wasn't sure what it was but the alcohol made it so it was the funniest thing she had ever heard.

They were flirting and making out against the door of 4A after a successful date. Leonard was struggling to open the door but after a couple of attempts he was able to do it.

His laughter died right away once they entered the apartment.

"We've been robbed!" He yelled and ran to his room, leaving her in the middle of the apartment.

Her buzz was quickly leaving and she looked around, it was true that things were missing, but weirdly enough the place wasn't cleaned out. The TV was still there, but the Xbox was gone. Half of the figurines were gone. Leonard's desk was still as cluttered as it ever was but Sheldon's was cleaned out.

Soon after Leonard returned with a confused look on his face. "My room is fine."

"What about Sheldon's?" She asked as she moved towards it. Sheldon would freak out if something was missing from his room.

An empty closet, a bed frame and a single piece of paper was all that waited for them.

Penny picked up the piece of paper and her eyebrows tried to escape her face. Leonard was still looking around Sheldon's room.

"Uh Leonard, I think you need to see this." She handed him the piece of paper.

Leonard took it from her and she could see his eyes dart across the page before he paled and passed out, hitting the floor hard. She tried to catch him but alcohol made her slow and she only succeeded in slamming her knees against the hardwood floor.

Sheldon was gone and he had apparently stopped wanting to protect his friends.

Joyce Kim, military fuel, a broken laser, misuse of Caltech's labs, sabotage of a Caltech funded expedition among other things.

Sheldon had kept thorough proof of everything. And he had emailed everything to Caltech's president, to the NSA and to Leonard's mother.

Holy…

Notes:

I'm sick as a dog. So that means angst and dark places.

I truly, really hate the Arctic episode and that it was made at all.