"The first time I had a drink was when I was 13 after I'd just won this surfing competition. I just entered it on a whim, by accident really. I was bumming around at the beach and I saw the sign for the competition. I had nowhere to really go that day. My dad was working. It was a Saturday but he was still working. He was always working..." I swallow hard as I look out at the sea of drunks in front of me.

I managed to get myself to a meeting tonight, and somehow I ended up sharing in front of the whole room. I don't know how I got in front of this microphone, but I guess I just couldn't hold all this shit in any longer. It was either get here tonight or keep drinking until I fall for good. It's like I'm hanging by a finger off the tallest mountain knowing that I'm going to drop soon, but still hoping someone somewhere is going to come out of nowhere and throw me a rope, as impossible as it feels.

I look down trying to regain my focus. It's nothing these people haven't heard before. I've sat here week after week as they've all shared the reasons why they're drunks. I've listened to the reasons they've all given of why they couldn't cope with the world around them and why the liquor was so damn good. That's what this is all about. None of us can really cope. We still can't, but we're here we're trying to make sense of it all. At least I think that's what I'm doing. What I'd really like to be doing though is heading back to the liquor cabinet at the Bel Age and finishing off whatever I didn't get to the other night.

I shake the thought away and try to get back to my story. "So I saw the sign, and I thought what the hell, I've got my board I'll just go hop on some waves. So I did just that. Afterward, we stood in front of the judges, and they told me I was the best. The best... I'd never really heard that before growing up. Jack always told me I was anything but, he didn't even have to tell me. He showed me with his actions. Anyway, they handed me this big trophy, and put this ribbon around my neck, like I was some big deal. I was just kind of shocked about it until Jack appeared out of the crowd. Which was amazing on that day of all days. The day I won this competition. He appeared out of the crowd like magic, with the sun shining and I remember feeling so proud that he was there to see me. I wanted to share it with him, this love I had of the ocean. I didn't even understand how he knew to be there, I was just glad that he was. So I looked down at his hands, and there was a camera in them. I remember running up to him, and the first thing I said, after seeing the camera was, "Dad get a picture of me with my board." I propped it up in the sand ready to take the pic, but he said, "I was just here getting photos of Kiara son, for her portfolio, plus I've got a meeting on the other side of town, it's time to go." Kiara was one of his model girlfriends. I just remember feeling so humiliated in that moment. I picked my board out of the sand, and just followed him to the car in a daze. It was like being in the car with a stranger. Like I was a stray dog, who had just wandered inside off the road. Jack drove with the top down that day, and I remember on the car ride back up into the hills my ribbon blew away. My winning ribbon just blew out of the car, and it felt like I went with it... He dropped me off, and took off to work. I didn't know what to do. I walked inside the house which was way too big, but not big enough for the both of us if that makes sense. I walked around the house and didn't know where to go. Every room felt cold. It didn't feel like my home, I just felt like some piece of furniture in a room that nobody goes in. So, I wandered over to the liquor cabinet, and I decided to celebrate my win in my own way, and after that, I celebrated all the time. I celebrated my failures, my rejections, and my losses...my many losses." I was done talking now and just looked out at the crowd.

Someone somewhere started slow clapping not that I needed any applause this time. I just need to keep myself away from that liquor cabinet tonight. I stay for the rest of the meeting and listen to more stories as pointless as my own, but they all lead somewhere. They led to all of us in this room together.

After the meeting comes to an end, I manage to spot my sponsor Pete in the crowd. I'm ashamed to say I haven't been calling him much lately. I've been giving into my every whim.

Pete and I shake hands. "Good to see you tonight McKay, I was hoping you were going to come back soon."

"Yeah but unfortunately I've only been sober for less than 24 hours."

"Hey, it's a start man. How's school going?"

"Honestly man, I've started to think about dropping out. I just don't see the point. There's nothing there for me."

"Don't do it Dylan. If anything school should be your lifeline right now. It's a life preserver. It'll keep you busy, and give you some direction. That's what you need right now if you're going to stick to the program," Pete tells me earnestly.

His words life preserver echo in my ears and I wonder how you find one of those in an ocean as dark as my own.

Hi guys,

I know this is another short chapter, but I really wanted to write about the first time Dylan had a drink. I always wondered about how his alcoholism started, since it was such a central part of his character. I know you're ready for him to meet Brenda and Brandon. They are coming up next I promise! I just had this idea for this scene and wanted to go with it. Lots more to come so stick with me, as it's only going to get more mad, bad and dangerous! I am having so much fun writing from Dylan's perspective. He's unpredictable and there are just so many places to take him. Stay tuned...