Maria had days when it seemed like everything in the world was against her. It was like someone was testing her resilience. The ability to get into trouble or to be the instigator was in her blood. And it usually started in the morning with some small thing. It was like a sign that things were only going to get worse.
And this morning it all started with her damn alarm clock. It didn't ring. How could it not ring? She remembered setting it before she went to bed. Maria hated getting ready in a hurry; she was already late almost everywhere, it was like a curse. But she decided for herself that being late in the morning was the worst, the most disgusting kind of late. She had to run around the flat like a madwoman trying to get ready as quickly as possible.
Halfway to work, she realised that she had forgotten her lunch at home. A cheese sandwich, a banana and a thermos of green tea. It was all left on the kitchen table. Oh, how upset she was. In her haste, she had tried so hard to prepare and put it all together, and now she had failed again. During her lunch break, she had imagined the three items lying alone, waiting for her to come home and eat them.
For lunch she had a coffee from the machine and a candy bar, not the most filling and certainly not the most satisfying lunch.
Then she had an argument with Magda. It wasn't really an argument, it was more a matter of her talkativeness. Without going into too much detail, Maria was a little unhappy that their wages were being delayed again, and in short, she had perhaps, in part, expressed herself unkindly to Magda, calling her a few unflattering words.
She wasn't wrong, of course not, and everyone knows that she never was afraid to speak her mind. But as usual, she was punished for her words. By punishment it means being put in the back room, unpacking the new goods.
It wasn't as bad as it could have been, Maria thought. The whole job was to take identical toys out of huge brown boxes and count and record the number of toys.
On top of everything else, she forgot her headphones at home. If the day before was just obnoxious, now it's officially awful. music. Today she's going to spend the day without music. Or rather, without music on her phone. Maria, of course, made sure that she hummed tunes to herself all day during work, for which she received a couple of disapproving looks from her colleagues. She couldn't help it, they knew it and she knew it.
But somehow the day wasn't getting any better, even with the singing.
It happens, it'll pass, she kept repeating it to herself like a mantra, trying to convince herself to believe it.
But it was terribly difficult, considering that the day was terribly long, dragging like tar. It seemed that time itself had decided to go slower today.
The cherry on the cake of insanity was that towards the end of her workday she started to get a hell of a headache. Normally she didn't suffer from migraines, but if she was going to go through a rough patch, Maria thought, she had to make it to the end.
She wanted to cry, to curl up in a ball and lie in bed all day. These thoughts ran through her head as she pulled on her coat, heading out of the shop.
The air was cold, darkness enveloped her, and it seemed as if no one walked the streets at this hour. The lantern light illuminated the path, along which Maria slowly stepped there was only the sound of rustling leaves under her feet. Eerily quiet, she thought to herself. Her breath visible in the cold air, she imagined that it was as if she were exhaling in this way all her worries. Maria, however, did not go on too long, suddenly a familiar baritone caught her.
"Hi."
She instantly turned round, Georg was standing at arm's length.
"What are you doing here?" She felt a pang of guilt, she didn't want to offend him, but that didn't change the fact that she was surprised. He had taken her by surprise many times before, finding himself in the most unexpected places.
"I was hoping for a more cordial welcome," she tilted her head slightly, "but that'll do too," he gave her his trademark grin.
"Sorry," she softened, "I just, just, well, didn't expect," she looked him over from head to toe, here he was standing in front of her in his oversized black coat, in his right hand he held a cup of something. The steam from the lid was rising upwards, drawing almost imperceptible scribbles in the air.
A million questions popped into her head. It seemed like that every time she met him.
"Oh, here," he said softly, holding out the cup to her.
She blinked a couple of times, reaching out to take the cup. It was as if he knew it was what she needed. Their fingers touched for a moment, she didn't do it on purpose.
He was so warm, the thought crept into her head almost unconsciously.
Quickly pulling her hand away from his, Maria hastily taking a sip, cocoa, "thank you," she blushed slightly.
"Could I walk you home?" he was still looking at her with that strange look, it read either mockery or admiration, she couldn't tell for sure, it was dark and she didn't want to look into his eyes so much.
It was something new. To come and pick her up from work and walk her home like that. Maria didn't know how to react, but she nodded almost obediently in agreement.
"You know," he began after a minute of walking in silence, "you walk really fast, you're almost impossible to catch up with."
She dissipated, grateful to him for breaking the slight awkwardness hanging between them.
"I guess I'm used to walking alone, so I picked up my own comfortable rhythm."
He let out a chuckle as he continued to stare ahead, as if not noticing the way Maria was scrutinising his profile.
"I thought it would be more convenient to call me than to wait outside my work, how did you know where I worked by the way?" she tried to sound casual, and hoped she was succeeding.
"You told me yourself," was his simple reply.
"No, I didn't."
He slowed his step, "I'm pretty sure you told me, and besides, if we've already met, does it really matter."
Georg wouldn't tell her that by some clever calculations he had found out that there were only three toy shops in the area. One was too far from where she lived, and he often went there with his children, she certainly didn't work there. The second one he went to yesterday, no Maria worked there. So that left the last, third option.
He watched as she took a large and apparently final sip, and turned around slightly, clearly looking for the rubbish bin. It was, thank God, right in front of them. The idea of taking her a cup of cocoa, had been as spontaneous as anything to do with their strange interactions, but Georg didn't mind.
It was so strange, but it was as if he was naturally drawn to her, he wanted to see her live, he wanted to surprise her with something, he wanted to be intimate with her. It wasn't even anything intimate, well, he didn't want her in that way, it was something that seemed very strange to him. First of all he saw her as a charming interlocutor. It had been a long time since he had felt such ease in the company of a woman.
She squinted her eyes slightly, "you know, being the mysterious type doesn't suit you," she tried not to smile, but a smile still touched the tips of her lips.
He raised his eyebrows, staring at her and trying to look offended, though just like her, he couldn't suppress a smile.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I'm just having a bad day today," she blew her nose a little.
"Georg," she called him by his name. He decided for himself, that he liked to hear her say it so simply, in her own graceful way, "do you ever have things go wrong and you can't change anything?"
"All the time," Georg replied on an exhale, "I'm having a bad day today too," he rubbed his hand over his arm, either in an attempt to warm them or because he was getting nervous, "I needed to talk to someone, well, I wanted to talk to you, to be perfectly honest."
He looked at her, there was so much seriousness in his face, Maria looked back at him, there was no hint of a joke on his face now.
"I, I think I know what you mean," she was suddenly both uncomfortable and very comfortable under his gaze, "sometimes each of us, even the strongest of us, needs a friend."
Georg nodded, staring off into the distance again.
She asked him how the children were doing and he asked how the choir rehearsals were going. The whole journey didn't take more than fifteen minutes, and each of them secretly wished they had more time.
"You know," he coughed, cleared his throat, "t's almost on my way from work. I could stop by sometimes, and well, we could stroll like this," he spoke softly, they slowed noticeably again, as if delaying the moment of goodbye until they stopped altogether.
How many such stops had they made during this walk?
Maria had to weigh up the pros and cons for a moment. Was this something friends often did, and were they friends? And the biggest sticking point was still the golden ring on his finger. But they weren't doing anything wrong, were they? She just enjoyed his company, and hoped he enjoyed hers as well.
For how long they stood like that, enveloped in the silence of the streets, studying both of them. They were almost strangers, for indeed they had only seen each other a couple of times. Maria had to admit that she had never felt so at ease with anyone, as if there was something about him that allowed her to be herself.
"Well, alright," she finally said, "but next time, please, and I'm dead serious, you better text me beforehand, okay?" she gave him a slightly embarrassed smile.
"Deal," he smiled back, those dimples appearing on Georg's face again.
Just as they were about to resume their step, Georg stopped abruptly, as if he had remembered something too important:
"Oh, before I forget," he thrust his hand into his pocket, digging around for a second before he pulled out something bright and shiny, "here, Gretl insisted I give it to you."
She raised an eyebrow questioningly, "what on Ear…", she reached out hesitantly and accepted the bracelet from his warm palm. Bright, pink, shiny little beads. Gretl, Gretl, Gretl, that name started going round and round in her head. Gretl, the youngest girl. Why did she want to give it to her.
Maria felt her eyes dart from the bracelet to his face, on which the familiar haughty grin was now playing.
Maybe he was just trying to play a joke on her.
She scrutinised his face, looking for anything that might give him away.
"Don't look at me like that," Georg said defensively, "trust me, as strange as it sounds, you're something of a local superhero to my kids now, and after they found out you work in a toy shop their interest has grown almost sky high."
She still stood silent, and what was left for her, she didn't know what to say. Georg had told his children about her. His children knew about her. Well, she knew about them, too, but that was different. Her thoughts were racing and she blinked rapidly a couple of times.
"I'm sorry if I..." he faltered slightly, "I probably shouldn't have..."
"No," she interrupted him, her gaze was still fixed on the object in her palm, "I just didn't expect it," she quickly tried to slip the bracelet onto her wrist, she must have looked comical, "tell Gretl I was very pleased to receive such a gift, and give everyone else a big hello."
Georg smiled and nodded.
In the couple of times they had met, he had felt almost obliged to tell the children all about her. Moreover, they had listened attentively and seemed genuinely interested in her. He had been reassured by the fact that she had accepted it calmly.
That was probably the main problem and the sticking point. Maria was not the only woman in his life now, but she was the only woman he wanted to share with his children.
Because there was Elsa. And they were kind of together. They kind of were.
They spent a fair amount of time together, nights too, sometimes, but they never really fussed about their relationship. They didn't need to. They were two adults. He's a widower, she's divorced. It seemed like a given.
They worked together. For many years they had been good friends, neither of them had ever thought of having an affair. But over time, the pain of loss and the natural desire to find solace in another took over. At first their meetings were not regular, but as time went on they started spending weekends together, he started inviting her to restaurants and they went to all the social events as a non official formal couple.
He didn't introduce her to the children, well, they knew of her existence, but he didn't want to complicate life, neither for himself, nor for Elsa,and off course, for the children. It was more convenient for everyone.
That was the difference. All those years of knowing Elsa and nothing. A couple of meetings with Maria and he desperately wanted her to know about his kids, and vice versa.
Because the kids know Max, he's your best friend, he reminded himself , and with Maria it's the same, she's a friend. A friend.
It was only when he opened his mouth to say something that a strong wind, too cold and threatening, suddenly enveloped them, cutting off his words.
He watched as Maria clutched herself, pressing harder into her coat, her nose reddened, and she seemed to struggle to remain standing.
He wanted to pull her into him, to protect her from the cold, the wind and everything in the world. But he didn't move, tucking his hands into his pocket, he stayed waiting for nature to calm down.
It hadn't been more than a minute, but it seemed like an eternity. Georg straightened, waiting for Maria to open her eyes again and look at him.
"I think it's a sign that we should hurry," he watched her lick her lips, they were badly weathered, whether he should even be looking at them he wasn't sure, "unless we want to get cold and sick of course."
Maria gave him her shy smile again, shaking her head they resumed their step.
The familiar buildings of the street he had so carefully avoided for the past month to avoid meeting her. And now he was leading Maria, escorting her to her flat, the very same flat.
"Do you want me to tell you a big secret?" his voice sounded playful, he leaned forward slightly to be closer to her.
She looked at him with a chuckle, "ho ahead," she said pompously, trying to imitate his voice, "try to surprise me."
Georg looked at her, the shadow of a smile still played on his lips, "since I left your flat I've never once walked down this street," he saw her eyebrows go up slightly, that genuine surprise playing across her face again, "I think part of me was afraid to see you again."
Georg wouldn't admit it to himself, but here and now, he wanted to share this with her.
Maria studied his face. The way he was walking so close to her, sharing something so intimate with her: "and now," she didn't know where she got the courage to ask him, "are you still afraid?"
Georg, didn't stop his step without looking at her, he spoke slowly, "no. Now I only hoped."
She didn't know what to say to his confession. It flattered her, but was she ready to accept such a statement from someone? Not wanting to think much about it now, they continued walking in silence, each absorbed in his own thoughts.
So they were at the entrance to the multi-storey building, she went up the stairs standing close to the door, he stayed at the bottom.
"Well, um, thanks for walking me home."
"It was my pleasure," Georg replied easily, that almost youthful smile playing across his face.
"I guess," she paused for a second, "I might say, see you soon, now," she didn't notice her voice had dropped to almost a whisper.
He smiled again, "I guess so too, goodbye then."
Maria turned round quickly, almost at bullet speed up the stairs to the top of the stairs to her flat.
Georg stood there for a while longer. Just staring at her.
He knew he was playing a dangerous game, but he couldn't help it. Something about her pulled him fiercely. It seemed that every time he saw her, he wanted to get to know her more and more.
Whether it was wrong, perhaps. Whether it was immoral, quite. But he was but a mere mortal, and how could he not be tempted, especially when Maria, like an angel, beckoned him after her. No, not tempted, he corrected himself.
He longed for friendship. Yet, he longed for something more. If with Elsa they had a more vicious relationship, with, he mused for a second, with Agatha, he was not only a lover, but a faithful conversationalist. Ready to take as much from her as she was willing to give him.
If this could be the case with Maria. If he could find happiness with her again. Could he be able to give her that happiness. To share all her grief and suffering, to share her worries, and to accept all of her.
Maybe he's lost his mind, maybe he had high hopes. Ultimately, does she need him. An old, closed and secretive, broken man. No, he couldn't torture her like that. He had been given a great gift as it was, and he was willing to accept it, if he was only allowed to enjoy her unintelligent company, he was willing to accept it unconditionally. That was all he was capable of.
With these thoughts, he forced himself to turn around and staggered home. It was late, and he clearly had a lot to think about.
Did Maria guess that he was standing there, staring after her, no, she didn't even hope so.
She spent the rest of the evening on the couch, wrapped in her warmest blanket and finishing her sandwich that she had forgotten from the morning. She wanted to watch some film, but tiredness and sleepiness took over. So she decided to lie on the couch for a while longer, and start slowly getting ready for bed.
And yet it was strange what had happened today, she reflected.
She raised her right hand up, twisting it slightly and scrutinising her wrist, which now bore a pink bracelet. Clearly the girl had made it herself. Taking her preaches time to make Maria feel good. And she felt good. It felt good and kind of scary to know that he had discussed her with his children.
What had he told them about her?
She smiled, running her fingertips over the small beads, funny how something so simple and innocent could bring so much joy. She suddenly wished she could meet his children in person, she wondered if she would ever get the chance, she hoped so.
She wouldn't tell him, but that night, it was him and their walk that helped her fall asleep with a smile on her face.
Winter, stress, and a couple of rocket attacks on my hometown have taken a terrible toll on my health. So, I've been sent to the countryside for a fortnight to get my health back (sounds like I'm the character of an old novel, but there's nothing romantic about it hehe).
I apologise for the delay in this chapter. I hope you're still interested to see where this story goes.
As always I look forward to your reviews, and apologise for any mistakes in the text.
I own nothing.