Chapter four: Safe Haven
That night something happened. Something that triggered my every fiber to please stay aware of all the dangers around me. Bane and I had maybe slept a few hours before Hunter's loud barking woke the both of us. Bane instantly sat up in bed, I slowly followed. His enormous body was so much bigger than mine, even in the dark he was easy to watch. We heard Hunter bark some more, and then a car stopped near the house. I froze. My visa was still legal. They could not be here because of me. Or would it be the truck Bane had mentioned. Would that come at night?
'What is that?' I asked, my voice small and breakable.
'Stay here,' Bane told me. He easily put his pants on, watched me for a second and then walked out of the room. I still sat in bed, frozen to my spot between the sheets. What was going on? I forced myself to step out of the bed and put my shorts on. I was shaking all over my body. Memories of being cuddled up in a closet when I was ten, afraid of the drunk foster dad coming home. I told myself this had to be something else. Bane had not looked afraid of worried. I kept telling myself that. I noticed the barking had ended and the engine of the car was off.
I found Hunter in the kitchen, watching me enter. He waddled his tail, happy to see me. Ik heard voices outside, calm ones. No yelling. No shouting. I tried to calm down. I tried to stop shaking. I failed. I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and waited. Bane walked around in the garden. It took half an hour for the engine of the car to come alive again and leave. Hunter barked some more and stilled suddenly when Bane entered the house again.
'You are up,' he started, seeing me sitting on the chair, fidgeting with a kerchief. I nodded. He stood there a tat too long, watching me.
'Everything alright?' He asked me then. I nodded quickly.
'Who was that?' I asked. He cocked his head to the side.
'You are nervous, scared even,' he said. He walked closer, taking place across from me, on the other side of the kitchen table.
'It was a neighbor who lives a few miles further down the main road. His water well was not working anymore. He needed water for his family and animals.'
'What got you so riled up?' he tried again. I swallowed and placed the kerchief down. I noticed his eyes followed my hands, till the moment I placed the kerchief down.
'Nothing.' He raised his brows.
'Either you have been hurt in the past and are afraid of that, or you have committed some sort of crime. Which one is it Odette? I cannot accommodate a criminal.' This time there was no room to remain silent or walk away. His tone made that very clear. It made me more nervous.
'I have never hurt anyone,' I told him in small words. He remained perfectly still. This time that made me more nervous.
'But you have been hurt yourself.' It was no question. I nodded. He did too.
'We'll talk in the morning. We both need some sleep. Come.' He moved his chair backwards and stood, making Hunter stand too.
'Stay, Hunter,' he told the dog. I slowly got up and followed Bane, petting Hunter when I moved past him. Bane removed his pants again, lying down on the bed, a deep sigh leaving his body. I watched him for a second. He could just made me tell my story. What had happened to me. What had hurt me so. But he choose to give me time and space. Like he trusted me to tell him everything eventually. Or not. I did not understand his patience. But I appreciated it.
'Odette?' he asked. I hesitated in removing my shorts. I felt vulnerable. I decided to keep them on. It was not much clothing anyway, but the more the better I figured, when pictures from my mind came back. I stepped in the bed and instantly turned on my side, away from Bane. He was lying on his back.
'Sleep well Odette,' came his gruff voice. His tone was kind. I hesitated a second.
'Goodnight,' my answer softly came.
That next day I avoided Bane a bit. Not that he had done anything wrong. Not at all. He came too close last night. He was breaking down walls I was not yet ready for. I needed to keep myself together the best I could. I hated my past. Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents, I truly did. But I hated everything that came after their deads. I hated the foster homes, the foster parents, even the foster brothers and sister I met along the way. I had been bullied enough to know I was better of alone. I'd never let myself get into that position again.
Bane was moving the camels into another venced piece of his land, while I occupied myself with washing and cleaning the house. I even washed the windows. Cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. I made the bed and when there was nothing more to clean, I walked outside hanging the sheets in the sun. They moved slowly in the wind, the white color blinding to my eyes. I walked around to see where Bane was, when I saw a truck coming up again. I froze. Maybe it was the car from last night, but there was a chance it was someone else. I hesitated a second, just until Hunter barked loud enough. I shook my head and turned moving inside the house. whoever it was in that truck, they came for Bane, not me. They did not need to see me. Hunter stayed outside, barking so I knew Bane must have hurt it too.
I moved towards a window and moved close enough to see what was happening outside. Bane had walked up towards the truck. He watched around, probably searching me. I still hesitated. Was it safe? Bane talked with the man in the truck and when he got out of the truck they both walked around the vehicle. Bane paid the man some money and then both of them moved some bags out of the truck. It took them awhile. The last thing they moved out of it was a cage filled with some chickens and a rooster. I smiled.
Bane looked around once more. The man talked a little more, before the driver of the truck shook Bane's hand and stepped inside the truck once more, driving off. I finally moved. I waited till the truck was far enough so he would not see me, before I met Bane outside.
'You missed the truck,' he told me, taking the cage in his arms, and walking towards the vence he had been making for the chickens.
'I did not know you were planning to get chickens,' I tried to change the subject. He let the chickens out, adding the rooster.
'You were hiding, were you not,' he said. He placed the now empty cage down and looked at me. He was almost two heads bigger then me I noticed. I met his eyes shortly, before I looked at the ground, and nodded.
'Afraid I'd send you back with it? hmm?' he continued. Those words made me look up, right into his eyes.
'No, it's just that- I'd rather stay low profile.' He squinted his eyes against the sun. I wondered if he understood what I meant.
'You don't have to hide yourself. Nobody will harm you here.' He still stood there, watching me. It made me nervous. I nodded once, not totally agreeing with him. There was another moment of silence between us. I hated every second of it now the tension was so present.
'The chickens will be your responsibility. Treat them well and we soon will enjoy some eggs.' He walked towards the other bags, starting to pack them away. I was sure it was proviand for the next month to come.
I was in the vence with the chickens. They were funny little creatures. They weren't scared of me and whenever I sat down they would hop on my lap, chirping happily. The rooster was something different. He was a proud bird, parading around the chickens, showing of. It made me laugh.
'Show of,' I told him, petting the chicken on my lap.
'Don't be mean to the rooster now, he's the only guy in the middle of all this hens. Show him some mercy,' came Bane's deep voice. I turned my head so fast I felt something crack in my neck.
'Easy, it's me,' he said, getting inside the vence, and closing it, so the chickens would not escape.
'You have been working hard inside the house. I reckon it's the cleanest I have ever seen it,' he told me. I gave him a small smile.
´Last night you seemed truly afraid,' he gently started. I placed the chicken off my lap and stood, facing him. I wondered if he was on purpose standing before the vence. To get out he would have to move.
I remained silent. What was it he wanted me to say?
'You slept in your clothes afterward.' I felt my skin turn red. My body freezing.
'You must admit that if I did not know you better I could suspect you from some sort of crime. You keep avoiding people, seem always ready to now.'
'Í have committed no crimes.' It came out angrier then I meant. Bane cocked his head to the side.
'I never said you did.' He was right, I felt myself grow more nervous by the second.
'Please let me out,' I asked him. He was not moving an inch.
'Bane,' I asked again. He took a step aside. I moved instantly. I walked out the vence and away, until his hand around my arm stopped me. His touch was gentle enough, but I could not walk away.
I froze and stilled. He must had felt it too, because he released me instantly.
'Your scars show me you've been hurt. More then once,' he told me, his voice deep and low. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling small and fragile. I was sure he could not have seen my scars, I kept them hidden properly. What was he talking about?
'Know that I would not have sent you on that truck, I enjoy your company.' He then walked away. Leaving me alone with my thoughts.
We ate dinner in silence. Bane had cut some meat that tasted nice and added some sort of broth. It was good. I still wondered why he had mentioned my scars. Did he mean something else?
I was so in thought that him placing his knife down next to his plate made me jump a little.
'I could help you better if I knew what makes you so afraid,' he said. I met his eyes, feeling insecure.
'What scars did you mean?' I asked him. He seemed surprised.
'The ones on your heart,' he stood and cleared the table, before he came back with a bottle of gin and two glasses.
'But you have more scars than only those, hmm?' he asked, pouring both glasses. I took a small sip, coughing. It was strong, but good. the liquid burned it's way down my throat.
'Do you trust me Odette?' he asked, after taking a sip himself. I nodded. He nodded too.
'Then tell me your story. Maybe it will set you free.' I hesitated. I was ashamed to tell it. I wanted it gone, not told.
'I don't think I can,' I said honestly. He took another sip.
'Try.' I took a shaky sip, feeling the gin do it's work. Maybe the alcohol would made it a little easier.
'I don't know where to start.' He licked his lips.
'Anywhere you'd like, Odette.' I took a shaky breath.
'I- the reason I was afraid last night was because… I once lived in a foster home. I was ten years old. I still missed my parents terribly and the foster dad was a man with no patience.' I took another sip. bane remained perfectly silent, his eyes always resting on mine. He was giving me the room to tell anything I wanted to share.
'He would come home drunk most nights. He beat his wife, the other kids. Even his own.' Bane poured my glass once more.
'And you,' he said. I nodded.
'Me and the other kids would hide in the closet, but that made him angrier when he finally found us.' Bane emptied his own glass and refilled that too.
'Is that why you sleep in your clothes?' he asked me then, when I remained silent. I shook my head. That story was even worse. He sipped his glass, waiting for me to go on. I did.
'I was replaced when I turned thirteen. The foster mom was nice enough. She worked a lot, so she was almost never home. I'd work on my homework and stayed in my room a lot.' I had to stop there. sharing more would open all my old wounds. I was not ready for that. Bane seemed to notice. He waited patiently though.
I emptied my glass and shivered. It tasted bitter, but made me warm inside. Bane poured me another glass.
'He started visiting me in my room almost right after I was placed there. First he came once a week, but soon he'd visit me regularly. Only when his wife was gone.' I felt tears leak from my eyes, after those sentences. I felt so ashamed. Dirty. Unworthy. I hated it.
Bane swallowed. What would he be thinking right now?
'He raped you. You were only thirteen and he forced himself on you.' It was no question. I wiped my tears, taking another sip. Then I nodded. For the first time Bane averted his eyes from mine, he watched my face a little longer before he watched at one of the windows. It seemed he needed some time to get himself under control.
'It haunts me. I am always ready to run, especially at night.' That made Bane watch me again. He moved a little closer.
'You might fear me sometimes, I know I am a big brute, not sophisticated in any way. But I will never touch you against your will, Odette. That is a guarantee.' I nodded, and cried some more.
'What happened to that monster?' Bane asked me then. I swallowed.
'I don't know. I ran and lived on the streets for a few days before I was placed in another home.' Bane nodded.
'It might seem like they have won. Like you will never get rid of those memories and ghost of the past. But you can, and you will.' His words surprised me as much as the intensity he spoke them with. Like he understood my pain. My damage.
'I don't want to burden you with my past. I can function fine. I can do every chore you need me to do,' I said. I suddenly feared he'd think less of me now. I saw something in his eyes that was new. Worry.
'You already have proven to be a hard worker. Sharing your past with me changes nothing. Don't ever think it does.' I took the last sip of my glass. Shoving the glass away.
'I think I'll go to bed now. It was a long day,' I said. He finished his own glass and nodded.
'Goodnight Odette.'