Chapter nine:
Somewhere in her sleep she had grabbed my hand, because when I woke, she still held it firmly against her chest.
That day, that had started so nicely, turned out to be an extreme hot one. The sun was unforgiving, burning down on our plants and bodies as we worked in the garden. It was important to water the plants enough, or they would dry away. Odette worked in her shorts and a shirt with long sleeves. I myself had already pulled my shirt off, only a cut jeans shielding me from the sun. Sweat dripped down my forehead. I wondered if my body could get any browner then it already was. Probably not.
When I finished my side of the garden I leaned back and watch the woman next to me. Odette. Never had I met a young woman so afraid of others. It was a small wonder she had joined me on the covers last night. She could have just gotten under the covers, shielding herself from me. But she had not. She had chosen to come closer, even being as afraid as she was. I knew she feared men in general, and I was no exception. But she tried. And that meant a lot.
Her skin was turning golden in the sun. Well the parts that could be kissed by the sun, that was. She slept with less clothes on now, but during the day she liked to shield herself as much as the hot sun allowed. I shook my head. I would have loved to kill the person that made her like this. That buried herself so deep in her shell.
Suddenly she turned, her eyes searching around her, searching for me. When she found me, she smiled. She was very timid, afraid and nervous around me, but I also could pull her from her shell every once in a while. And she seemed to understand that.
'It's so hot today,' she said, walking closer. I brought one hand above my eyes to shield them from the sun, so I could see her better, and nodded.
'Even Hunter is staying inside today,' I told her. She instantly watched around for the dog, seeing I was right.
I stood and saw her flinch back just the tiniest bit. My sudden movement scared her away sometimes, no matter how hard I or she tried.
'Let's join him, it is too warm to stay outside for too long today.' She nodded and followed me inside the house.
She poured us both some water and offered me a glass, taking a sip from her own glass.
'We do have to water all of them later though,' I mentioned. She nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. I wondered what she was thinking right now.
'Even with this hot weather, I love it here,' she said. Her voice was soft, but sounded firm enough.I sat down beside her and watched her open her eyes and search for mine.
'Well, I myself prefer it a little less burning out there,' I answered her. She smiled a little bit.
'You should be used to it, being as sunkissed as you are,' she told me. I chuckled. It was the first attempt to a joke she had made in a few days.
'Well Odette, you are not so white anymore either,' I answered. She giggled, watching her lower arms that had a bronze colour too.
'Nope, but I like it that way,' She answered right back. I smiled at her and emptied my glass.
'We should lay down until the evening comes, we can water the plants then.' She emptied her glass too. She nodded.
I stood and shook the dirt from my trousers, watching her. She followed my movements. I made my way into the bedroom and removed my trousers. It was too hot for clothes, but for her I kept my underwear on. She sat down in her short and shirt. I knew she felt comfortable enough to remove her short. But she had never undressed herself more.
This time was no exception. Sweat beaded on her forehead, but she only removed her short.
I was debating on asking her about it, but knew it could make her fear me more then she did. She sat down and watched me. I gave her a small smile, laying down on my back, still watching her curiously. She slowly followed my movements, momentarily forgetting she was showing me skin, but giving me a good look at the scars on the inside of her thighs.
'He cut you with a knife?' I then asked her. I inwardly cursed myself for asking, seeing her freeze completely, closing her legs and making herself as small as she could. She swallowed and moved a little away from me. I kept silent, and let her. I just watched.
Her answer came after some minutes.
'He did.' I balled my fists in anger, but forced myself to keep calm. I did not want to make her afraid of me. I just wanted to know everything there was to know about her.
'Why?' I asked her then. She sat up against the headboard and pulled her knees to her chest, making herself even smaller.
'The first few times… He just held me down.' Her voice was so soft, and so fragile all of a sudden. I gave her all the time she needed. I always would.
'But eventually he grew tired of me crying and begging. First he only threatened me, but eventually he used the knives.' Her voice broke at the end of that sentence. She swallowed her tears, but I saw one making its way down her cheek.
'He said he would give me something to really cry about,' she said. She wiped her tears away and bit her lips.
'Did he hurt you more than those scars alone Odette?'I then asked her. The thought he mutilated her had crossed my mind a few times, but I knew asking her that was a risk. One that could bring her further away from me all over again.
She took a large gulp of air and watched me for the first time while we had been on the bed, before she quickly averted her eyes again.
'I- I don't want to talk about it anymore. For now.' I nodded. Sharing what she had had surprised me, although her answer made me worry there was even more to hear about her past. She had not just been raped. The man had cut her thighs, multiple times. Maybe he had hurt her more. No wonder she was hiding herself so much.
'Come, lie down. Thank you for sharing this with me Odette.' She very slowly met my gaze again, her eyes red. I wanted to hold her, but was afraid to scare her away.
'May I hold you?' I asked her. She froze a little more. I saw the dilemma in her eyes. Last time we had been in this bed she had asked me to hold her, even though she feared me. I wondered if she would this time.
Completely to my surprise, she nodded and laid down next to me, turning on her side, away from me. I slowly stretched on arm towards her, placing my hand very lightly on her side. I felt how tense she was. But he did not protest. Not at all.
When she relaxed the tiniest bit, I stretched my hand even more, placing my arm around her, keeping her close, hoping to make her feel safe and secure.
I could not travel in time, nor could I change her past. But I knew I would never let harm come to her again. Nobody would touch her without her consent. I would make sure of that.