Hell

She stood, leaning her palms onto the bathroom sink. Unaware that I could see her from the top of the staircase.

I'd wondered if she was feeling sick or if she was in pain. Both were easily considered when I took in her expression.

Her eyes starring at the sink. Her teeth gnawing aggressively at her lower lip. Taking deep breaths as though she was preparing herself for a fight.

I realised then what she was doing.

She was trying to build up the courage to look at herself in the mirror.

How incredibly heartbreaking, to be scared of your own reflection.

I wondered if Jacob had trouble facing himself, if he ever avoided mirrors for fear of seeing a monster starring back at him.

From the text messages I'd read, I doubted it very much.

The bruises and swelling were almost non existent now, all that remained were the raised scars that had not yet settled into her skin.

I had seen her fingers trailing them more and more over the past few days, as though she was trying to commit them to memory. In an attempt to settle the war, she was at with their existence.

Slowly she lifted her head and steadied her eyes on them. She glared at her reflection, and I felt something twist inside my chest.

She choked out a sound as she took them in. She seemed so incredibly desperate to make her peace with them.

But she just couldn't do it.

The longer she looked at them, the angrier she became.

With no warning, she snatched up the ceramic cup, that held her toothbrush. She smashed it into the mirror again and again, until I appeared behind her.

I curled my arms around her waist and pulled her out of the small room, away from the glass that now covered the tiles.

I could hear the rain coming down heavily as I dropped us onto the floor, pulling her onto my lap.

She didn't start crying like I thought she would. Instead, she fisted my shirt and pressed her brow into chest. Shaking with anger. Burning with a rage that was so foreign to her, that she didn't know what to do with it.

"I'm sorry." She murmured into chest.

I gently tangled my fingers into her hair, holding her head against my chest.

"Don't be." I told her firmly, as she struggled to steady her breathing and loosen her grip on me.

This was hell. I didn't want us to stay in this place, burning away. But I didn't know how to remove us from it or extinguish the flames.

So, I decided to follow her into them and let them swallow me whole. Release that anger that had spread down to my bones. Smash it until it shattered into a thousand pieces.

Maybe then we could move forward.

I picked her up from the floor and settled her in our bed, holding her as close as I could until she finally fell asleep. Planning and plotting. Those hazy thoughts filling that space at the front of my mind.

Until I was content with every last detail.

Sliding myself away from her so that I didn't disturb her.

The plan was so simple. It would be quick. It needed to be.

I stepped into the hallway and made a call. It took no convincing or pleading. She was ready.

I waited.

I sat in the armchair, listening to her breathe. Hearing her heart beating. Letting it all wash over me. I let myself dwell on every bit of it. I let it consume me.

The sight of her blood on his hands.

Wondering if she was dead.

The sound of those machines screaming in my ear.

The fear in her eyes.

Skin that had strung back together.

Watching her smash that mirror.

It went on and on.

I heard them come inside. Their footsteps almost silent against the floorboards.

I took that moment to hit send on her her phone. One last message to end this.

"What if she wakes up?" Emmett asked, stepping through the doorway of the bedroom.

I looked over at her, sleeping soundly. Smiling at the sight of her curled up in the blanket, her dark hair spread out over the white pillow. Unconcerned with her scars, her self-loathing temporarily silenced. Completely unaware that when she woke up, everything would be different.

"She won't. She sleeps well." I assured him.

He nodded.

"Alice?" I questioned.

"She'll cover us. Carlisle won't find out. Not tonight anyway." He finished nervously.

I stood up and walked over to her dresser.

"Take care of her for me." I asked as I picked up her ring, looking at the small piece of jewellery in my hand before putting it in my pocket.

"You got it." Emmett promised, patting me on the shoulder before I left the room.

I stepped into the hallway where Rosalie stood waiting, leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

She rolled her head toward me. A smile curling up on the corner of her mouth, eyes dark and narrowed. "Are you ready to begin?"

I nodded as I walked past her.

"I am." I growled roughly.

We left the house in silence.

Not a single sound was made as we walked out into the rain, getting into Bella's truck and disappearing into the night.