Eren and Mikasa spent the next 2 years in the cabin just about the same as their first. Spending everyday completely relishing in each others company and living every second to the fullest.
The only activities they did that differed from their routine was at one point they saved up as much money as they could and traveled to Hizuru so that Mikasa could learn more about her ancestors. They also traveled to the sea for beach days every once in a while.
Before they knew it, over 3 years in the cabin had come and gone. As much as they wanted to stay happy and optimistic about the future, as the end of Eren's life drew closer and closer, they found themselves feeling somber more often than not.
Anytime they started talking about the reality of their situation, it always ended in tears on Mikasa's end and days of sadness for both, so they decided to live in denial.
One night, they laid in bed cuddling naked and Mikasa, drawing circles on Eren's chest, decided to ask some of her final questions.
"Eren?"
"Hmm?" He asked. One arm draped across his eyes, the other tickling her bare back.
"Can I ask if you make amends with any of the others after all the horrible things you do? Or is is just me?"
Eren lifted his arm from his eyes and looked down at her.
"No I talk to almost everyone else too. Especially Armin."
"What's your conversation with him like?"
"A little like the one we had. He hits me, we hug and make up, and I think he says he will see me in the afterlife. I'm not totally sure though because the memories aren't perfectly clear sometimes. I see some things very clearly and others in glances."
"So am I going to have to explain anything to him?"
"Hopefully not. I tried to cover as much as possible with him. And he'll get his memories back when I die. So you guys should be somewhat on the same page. The others too."
"You said you talk to everyone?"
"Pretty much. Even Annie because I'm pretty sure she and Armin are going to fall in love." He chuckles at the thought.
Mikasa feels a tinge of jealously at the thought of Armin and Annie getting a happy ending. An ending she wanted more than anything with Eren.
"You even talk to Levi?" Mikasa asks, watching Eren's slight smile fade.
"Yeah… I do. Though I doubt he would tell anyone about it."
"Why?"
"Because he's him. And he got emotional in our goodbye. And there's no way he would want to admit that to anyone."
"He did? What happens? Will you tell me? I'm sure he never will."
"Well I start by apologizing for all the people he's lost and the part I played in that. He immediately starts kicking and attacking me almost to death, if I were normal. Very similar to you in that way honestly." He chuckles before going on. "I let him get it out. After a while he asks me what I was thinking and I try my best to explain, but of course there is no great explanation. We sit in silence for a while and I thank him for being somewhat of a father figure to me and for everything he did for me. That's when he gets emotional. He does his classic "tsk" sound and turns away but then he hugs me. It's super foreign and weird but is nice. Then he tells me to say hi to Hange and Erwin for him and that's that."
"Woah…" Mikasa replies. "That doesn't sound like him at all."
"I know, it's pretty out of character. My guess is that he has always cared about us kids much more than he has let on. I think he sees us as family. And after losing so many people, I think he was willing to show that he cared for me one last time. Especially since no one would ever know…. By the way, will you try to be there for him after all this? Or make sure someone's got him? He really is the only one who has no one left."
"You mean the other me right? Because in this timeline we're probably all going to die anyways."
"Yeah I mean in the other reality."
"Okay yeah. I'm sure I would do that."
Mikasa places her ear on Eren's chest, listening his heartbeat. She takes a moment to appreciate the sound of his body working to stay alive, because she knows that too soon that heartbeat will stop. They sit in silence for a few moments.
"Eren?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't hate you for the rumbling."
"You don't?"
Mikasa can hear his heart begin to pick up the pace a little.
"No. I get why you did it. I don't agree with it, but this reality really is doomed because we did this instead. I get why you felt the need to find a better solution."
"Thanks… I actually really appreciate that. I'm far from perfect, but the one thing I can say is that I tired. And that there really was no right answer."
"It's true. And I see that."
"Mikasa?"
"Yeah?"
"You know I could never hate you right? Not ever?"
"Yes of course I know that."
"Every part of you knows it? Knows it and believes it?" Eren asked getting choked up.
Mikasa thought about it for a moment. Did every version of her know it?
Yes.
He had done everything in his power the last 4 years to atone for the way he made the other Mikasa feel when he said he hated her. He had done everything in his power to prove that not only did he never nor could he ever hate her, but that he absolutely loved her.
"Yes Eren. I can say without a single doubt that every part of me knows that you don't hate me. And that you did everything you did, for me. Me and Armin. I know it. I don't question it anymore."
Eren let out a deep shaky exhale.
"I'm so thankful for that." He said, fighting back tears.
He hadn't cried in ages. He didn't want to. Mikasa would cry to him sometimes, but he felt the need to be strong for her.
But suddenly everything he was about to lose hit him. He wasn't ready to lose this yet. Lose her.
"You know" He says, choking back tears. "I open my eyes one last time to see you. I kept them closed through the rumbling. But I had to see you… one last time."
Before he could stop himself, he started bawling. Bawling hysterically. It was the first time he had cried like this since he cried to that random, foreign Eldian boy he saved in Marley.
Mikasa was caught so off guard by this. She sat up and grabbed him, pulling him into her lap, wiping his tears from his eyes and holding him tight.
"Shhh! Sh. It's okay Eren! You're okay! I'm right here."
Eren was bordering a panic attack. He tried as hard as he could to find his breath but he couldn't.
"I'm. Not. Ready. To. Die." He stifled out.
At these words, Mikasa lost her resolve. She started crying right along with him.
"I know. I know." She sobbed. "I'm not ready for it either. I could never be."
"I want to grow old with you. I want it more than anything. That is the freedom I want. Not just the world outside the walls. You are freedom. And I never really get freedom do I?"
"It's cruel. But the world has always been a cruel place. We just have to remember the love we felt along the way. We have to remember this! And as horrible and as bleak as it sounds, I will find you in the afterlife. No matter what that looks like. We will be together again. And maybe in this reality, that's not too far away. Not with Marley banging down Paradis door. I'll go back and help them fight and die with them." Mikasa said through her tears.
Eren looked up at Mikasa once his breathing had slowed down.
"You're so incredibly strong. I admire your strength." He said with a soft smile.
"I know. I'm worth at least 100 soldiers." She joked, another tear streaming down her face. Eren chuckled softly before getting serious again.
"So it's not goodbye. It's see you later?"
"Exactly. And until then, no more talking about these horrible things. We are going to be happy for the little time we have left."
"Okay… I'm sorry that I broke our rule."
"Don't be. It was good. I'm glad you did. But now I'm reinstating it." She replied firmly.
"Deal."
Mikasa laid back down next to Eren in tangled limbs, holding on to one another desperately. Both too afraid to move for fear of the day Mikasa would once again sleep alone.
—
For once, Eren fell asleep quickly. After his emotional outburst, he was exhausted.
Mikasa on the other hand couldn't find sleep for hours. She laid, eyes wide open at the ceiling while her mind raced about how little time they had left. They weren't positive the exact day Eren would die, but they were already in the same month that Grisha Yeager had disappeared 13 years ago meaning that any one of these days could be Eren's last. She could have broken into tears at the thought, but for most of the night and into the early morning hours, she felt numb, dead inside.
Eren woke at 4am and asked Mikasa if she had gotten any sleep. When she responded that she didn't, he grabbed her and held her in a loving embrace before falling back asleep.
Finally, at around 5am, Mikasa fell asleep. Shortly after at around 6, Eren started to stir. Once he woke, there was no hope of falling back asleep. These days were now precious and the thought of sleeping more than he needed made him extremely anxious.
As quietly as he could, he tried to sneak out of bed. He wanted Mikasa to be able to rest as he was sure she was exhausted. But it was to no avail. The second Mikasa heard him leaving she shot up in bed.
"Where are you going?"
"Just fishing. You should really get some more sleep until I get back." He said, pulling some clothes on.
"No way. I'm coming with you." Mikasa wasn't about to sleep a second longer than Eren did. She was going to spend every waking second with him.
They set out to the lake at the sunrises most beautiful moment. The clouds were vibrantly pink and orange. They hiked up the hill to the lake holding hands, silently enjoying this peaceful moment.
The entire fishing trip was also mostly silent. Not because either person was upset. It was because last nights conversation really took it out of them, and they were both feeling anxious about what was just around the corner. They knew they would eventually break out of it, but they silently agreed to let each other have this numb day of acceptance.
When they got back to the cabin, Mikasa plopped down on the little bench just outside their cabin door. She was starting to feel the affects of only getting one hour of sleep.
Eren started grabbing firewood and chopping it into smaller pieces with his axe. The sound of wood breaking apart made Mikasa sleepy, and slowly she felt her eyelids getting heavy.
She was jumping out of a plane, fighting off the old members of the nine titans, trying to get Armin back from out of a titans mouth, and trying to save her friends lives, getting picked up by a flying titan.
Levi had gotten injured. Armin was still gone. And they had no clue what they were going to do to stop the rumbling.
"Mikasa." Jean said through tears. "I'm sorry… But our only choice is to kill Eren."
"Kill Eren?" Mikasa got flashes of the boy who had saved her from the kidnappers. The boy who punched a titan to save her life and promised to always wrap her scarf around her. How should she participate in this? How could she let that boy die? She heard her name being called as if from far away.
"Mikasa."
"Mikasa."
Someone grabbed her shoulder, bringing her back from her memories.
"Mikasa!" Annie yelled. "You can just concentrate on rescuing Armin okay?" Annie saw the tears in Mikasa's eyes. The pain in her face and her tone softened. "Leave the rest to them. You don't have to think about it."
The fight continued on. She did rescue Armin and then braced herself for the worst.
Armin transformed into the colossal titan, right on Eren's nape. There was no way he could have survived.
Mikasa thought back to Eren saying he hated her and her heart physically hurt that, that had been the last thing he had ever said to her.
Everyone started celebrating that this nightmare was finally over. But then Eren's colossal titan emerged and tried to make contact with the worm thing to continue the rumbling.
Levi grabbed her and they jumped on Falco's titan together, leaving Jean and Conny to turn into pure titans. How could this get any worse?
Flying through the air, suddenly she felt like her head was going to split in two. The most intense, searing headache bleared through her skull. She grabbed at her face and screamed out in pain.
"Pull it together! There's nobody else that can kill Eren. It has to be us!" Levi shouted at her.
"It's too much! I can't take it anymore! I want to go back. I just want… to go back home."
"Mikasa." Eren said softly. "Wake up. You'll catch a cold."
"Eren? Wait I'm confused when did I fall asleep?" She was back at the cabin, sitting on the bench.
"Not sure but you must have been exhausted." He said, swinging down and axe to cut up the firewood.
"I feel like… I just woke up from a really long dream."
"Well it's nothing to worry about now. We can take it easy today. I caught some pretty big fish so-" He stopped and looked stunned at Mikasa. "Uh Mikasa? Why are you crying?"
Mikasa gasped a little and reached up to her eyes to feel a tear on her finger.
"Oh… I don't know. But I feel… like… this isn't where I should be right now."
"There's… nothing we can do anymore." Eren said, looking a little somber.
"Huh?" Mikasa asked. Still feeling confused as to what was going on. Eren did understand what was going on and decided to explain to her from the beginning.
"That day, we cast everything aside to run away to this place."
Mikasa looked at him, puzzled, so Eren continued.
"Two months after the end of Marley's war, an invasion of Paradis Island was on the horizon. If we hadn't run, they would have killed us all. It's hard though. I'm sure that Armin's been desperate to find us. I couldn't bring myself to plunge Historia into hell and commit to an endless cycle of killing. And I couldn't bring genocide upon all humanity outside the island." Mikasa looked up at him as he walked over to her.
"So let's leave. And live out the four years I've got left in peace. We'll find somewhere quiet. Just you and me." He said with a smile. "You're the one who said all that, Mikasa. It was your idea."
At these words, Mikasa finally came back to her senses. That was right. They had lived together in peace. For four short years.
"Yeah." She said, standing up right in front of him. "I'm sorry." She said leaning into him, putting her face on his neck, breathing in his glorious mahogany teakwood smell. "I know we promised we wouldn't talk about that stuff." She placed one arm around his waist, the other on his chest, feeling his lungs rise and fall, enjoying how alive he felt. Eren wrapped his left arm around her.
"Do you mind making another promise?" Eren asked, reaching his right arm up to hold at the back of Mikasa's scarf. "Once I'm dead and gone, please throw this scarf away? You're gonna… live without me for a long time. So forget you knew me. Forget and be free. Please Mikasa. Forget about me."
Mikasa's eyes shot open, she stood up on the flying titan, looking over all the horrors below. Armin and Eren's titans fighting to the death. Annie and Reiner trying to stop a horde of pure titans including Jean and Conny.
She remembered it all. She had lived for four years with Eren in that cabin. He had apologized and explained. They had laughed, cried, and joked. He had touched her, loved her, and needed her. If possible, even more than she had needed him.
"Im sorry." She ripped her scarf out of her pocked and wrapped it around her neck, tying it securely so it wouldn't fall off. "I can't."
Suddenly, a memory hit her. Eren's voice, the summer breeze, the stars above as they sat on the roof.
"Then I need her to know. My body is in my titan mouth. Thats where you'll find me. If you go in there and cut my head off, I'll really be dead and the rumbling will stop."
"Eren's inside the mouth!" She yelled. "Everyone! Help me reach him!"
"Understood Mikasa!" Levi yelled.
Falco's titan flew higher in the sky before allowing Levi and Mikasa to jump off. They dodged huge boulders coming at them. Levi threw a thunder spear at Eren's titan's teeth, giving Mikasa an opening. She took it and used her ODM gear to fling herself into his mouth.
And there he was. Body gone from when Gabi had shot his head off. Instead, his head was connected to a network of bones. All she had to do was cut off his head.
She lifted her swords, positioning herself for the final blow. When she remembered his words.
"You know…. I open my eyes one last time to see you. I kept them closed through the rumbling. But I had to see you… one last time."
Mikasa's eyes started to burn, and she looked down at his pathetic figure. Right as her blades started cutting through his boney neck, as promised, he looked up at her.
For that brief moment, their eyes made contact. It was like they were reliving the last 4 years, and all the happy memories that they now, both clearly remembered and cherished. Eren saw the pain in Mikasa's eyes. The same pain he felt. He closed his eyes and used the power of the founding titan one last time to pull Mikasa back to their haven at the cabin.