To go again and again

by Ashmole

Harry was finally having a real childhood. But it would be over way too soon. First years got to play. No other years did and Harry had never been able to play before. But he found a way out. A book on timeloops had made its way into his hands. He would have his childhood. One way or another. Again.

3. Diagon alley first loop day 2

"I love magic…"

Harry Breathlessly whispered to himself. He was viewing a toy store he had found next to Gambol and Japes Joke shop which was next on his list but this… Mulcibers Toy Emporium was inconspicuous from the outside showing a self propelling rocking horse from the outside. But inside… Soft plush dragons whizzed through the air breathing cotton fire at equally cartoonish witches and wizards on brooms. Rows upon rows of toys Harry had never even imagined filled every square inch of the too large shop.

He had just come back from shopping for clothes that actually fit him for the first time in his life in whatever colors fancied him. Socks, Underwear, shoes… He had gotten everything. All brand new and form fitting. He found that at least for now he wanted to avoid loose clothing whenever possible. The memory of only ever wearing Dudleys too big cast offs making him gnash his teeth and almost start crying from frustration then and there. The overworked and underpaid teenagers at the register did not blink at a 10 (almost 11!) year old ringing up such a large purchase. After dropping off all of his purchases in his apartment he now sported a sweatband instead of the conspicuous tourist hat from the day before. New Form fitting red and blue Trainers adorned his feet and everything hugged him just so. Now that he no longer looked like a homeless vagrant (or at least he thought so). He was ready to begin his plan, starting with a memory that was very fresh upon coming back.

Not one month previously chronologically speaking at least was Dudleys birthday. Foul Pig that he was Harry still had looked longingly at the presents he would never get. And the pig could not simply be grateful for what he got. It left dark feelings of envy, greed, and want in Harrys Heart. It festered, but seeing this and knowing that not a single one would ever end up in Dudleys Grubby claws put a smile on his face and went a long way to massaging these ugly feelings. He smiled like the cat that caught the canary. There were a small smattering of parents and children scattered around the shop gawking at one thing or another. He walked up to the register and the kindly looking old man manning it. He looked up from his book and smiled genuinely at Harry thinking he was ringing up some small purchase with his pocket money. Instead he put down a bag of one hundred Galleons enough to buy the new nimbus 2000 on the counter causing the man to choke and almost look like he was stroking out. Harry saw no reason to be shy or cautious about this knowing there would be no permanent consequences to any of his actions really. Honesty was serving him well so far in getting what he wanted.

(Harry really wished that were truly the case good or bad a great many loops later)

"I would like to ring up a very large purchase sir. I don't want to think about price would this cover just about everything?"

The man only dumbly nodded having had as much money that came through his shop in a month dropped on his counter. Harry made to turn around and walk deeper into the store when the man seemed to find his senses.

"Wait young man are you certain you should be spending this much money? Where are your parents?"

He looked around trying to eye if any of the families in the store matched Harrys appearance.

"Dead Sir. Please don't say my name out loud."

Harry said as he briefly raised the headband showing his scar. Harry really did not like using it and wanted to stay incognito mindful of being swamped the last time. But it worked in his favor this time as the man got a look of almost worship on his face as well as sadness from Harrys bluntness. He leaned down to whisper.

"Your secrets safe with me Mr. Potter welcome back. I am proud to have you in my shop. But why so much? This is some ministry personnels yearly salary."

Not wanting to trauma dump to a complete stranger vs someone in a loop who could understand. Harry thought up a believable excuse that still contained part of the truth.

"My guardians did not really believe in toys and playing games Mulciber sir. I feel rather deprived, and I want to make up for lost time."

The man looked positively heartbroken and thoughtful at that point and squinted his eyes in thought. Meanwhile Harry looked at the wall behind the man covered in various childrens blankets and toys and books in display cases. One blanket was prominently displayed and showed the most vivid colors imaginable that danced as if on fire. Harry could hear even from this distance extremely pleasant songs of windchimes and birdsong. He had to have it. Interrupting the mans thoughts Harry asked.

"Sir, that blanket behind you. What is it?"

The man had a proud smile on his face as he beamed and told Harry.

"That's the work of Generations that is. It started as a pet project for my Grandad and continued through my Father and finally me. It is made of 80% phoenix down feathers. It prevents all nightmares while wearing it. Sleep comes almost instantly no matter what as you drift off to sleep with phoenix song. You will never get cold under it even in the snow. Cuts, scrapes, and bruises heal overnight as if they had never occurred and scars fade to nothing. It repels Dark Magic as well I believe. There might be more but I have yet to figure it out. It's one of a kind it took a century to track down enough phoenix down feathers to make it."

Harry was already sold before the description but after he was almost manically chomping at the bit now. No more bad dreams? Everything else he mentioned?

"How much?"

Harry asked.

The man looked regretful but replied.

"Sorry Mr. Potter its not for sale. Not even to you I am afraid. And even if it were the money you have already put on the counter would not cut it. Sentimental value you see? And it draws in a lot of customers to see it."

Harry did not bat an eye and brought out his main Money pouch.

"How much sir?"

The man was sweating now seeing Harry was serious. Tugging his collar he again denied.

"Mr. Potter it's not about the money…"

Harry interjected, not caring how much this went against his own principles and hatred of using his fame for anything. His hate for his nightmares would always be stronger and knew once the euphoria of coming back wore off his experience with Quirrelmort would cause him no end of nightmares. He needed this blanket.

"I will let you take a picture with me smiling and after I go to Hogwarts you can put it up in the same spot and tell everyone you sold the Boy who lived his first toys."

The man looked shrewedly.

"Give me a signed letter talking about the wonderful time you had and you have a deal. Sign a few sets of 'The adventures of Harry Potter' and I will give you a discount and this shrinkable expanded toys chest as a bonus."

Harry looked pointedly, thinking hard in haggling mode.

"Whats so special about this toy chest? Couldn't I just get an expanded trunk?"

In truth Harry had no idea what an expanded trunk was. His first year had been rather sheltered and he was constantly learning new things about magic all the time. He forgot a few things even as he learned them sometimes. It was an experience he shared with Muggleborns. He figured in the spirit of Haggling this was a good question in any case. The man smiled readying his sales pitch.

"This toy chest was hand carved and painted by myself for the discerning wealthy family for their young ones. It is expanded on the inside with multiple compartments that auto sort the toys and books. It has a permanent featherlight enchantment so even the daintiest of child can lift it as they would a quill. It can shrink and expand on command able to fit in the child's pockets wherever they go. When expanded all the child has to do is say the name of their preferred toy and it will fly out to their waiting grasp. It is fire and waterproof and very durable. You can even change the color just by tapping it with your wand and saying the color."

Harry looked over the handcarved chest seeing well made magical creatures he did not even know the names of dressed up in fantastic colors.

"How much normally?"

The man did not pause his sales pitch and said without skipping a beat.

"50 Galleons normally this is the top of the line. That plus 300 Galleons for the blanket and you have a deal Mr. Potter."

Harry struck out his hand shaking the mans hand. Counting out the money the man looked greedily at the pile of Gold. He hurriedly shooed out the other customers who seemed to only be browsing. Closing up shop he basically gave Harry the run of the place. He first said a word Harry could not hear which made the blanket fall folded into his waiting hands he gave it to Harry to try and the man had understated its effects feeling extreme Euphoria just holding it. Harry quickly put it back on the counter not wanting to fall asleep now. The man made the toy chest float. Opened it and put the blanket inside. From the back hell pulled out 10 sets of 4 books with a cartoonish him on the cover. Of the one on top he saw himself fighting a dragon.

"Wait you weren't kidding about there being books about me? But I just learned about magic a week ago…"

The man shrugged then frowned when he thought about what Harry had just said.

"Mr. Potter your very existence is fantastical you gave hope to many, and it makes for good children's stories no Adult truly thinks you did any of those things. Wait… What do you mean you just learned about magic? Dumbledore had said you were hidden away with a magical family for protection. Earlier you had said you never got to play with toys before… I don't mean to pry Mr. Potter but where were you? And are you alright?"

Harry honestly did not know what the big deal was as he began signing the cover pages to each of the books.

"It is private sir, but I don't really care anymore now that I am going to Hogwarts I am not going back. It was my Muggle relative's sir I only ever knew magic as freakish. I was made to cook and clean and do all of the chores around the house. Its normal sir-"

The man took Harry by the shoulders and shook him nearly spilling the quill ink onto the books.

"No Mr. Potter it's not normal."

He said with a lot of urgency.

"Who told you it was normal? Did they hit you? Its not alright Mr. Potter, not for any child especially you."

Harry, overwhelmed and not expecting such a reaction out of the man answered without thinking. (Many loops later as he repeated events he wanted based upon advice from Ollivander later on he would see the consequences of this admission. Harry learned that simple truths and actions can have far-reaching consequences. Some good some bad but that is neither here nor there.)

"Sometimes Mr. Mulciber but it was usually my cousin beating me up with his friends. I did tell people sir but my relatives always spread nasty rumors about me and I told Professor Dumbledore and others and they never reacted like you did."

The man put his face in his hands.

'I am a toymaker not a psychwizard.'

He thought.

The boy who lived clearly needed help but what to do? Harry had absently continued signing the books and had just finished. He was looking at the man strangely like he had grown a second head. Weirded out by his reaction. The man sighed and took the books placing them in the back. He pasted his smile back on his face. Shocking Harry again at the abrupt about face.

"Why don't we get to filling this toychest up then. Shall we? Lead the way Mr. Potter and pick whatever you fancy. Don't worry about the price."

He could at least give the boy top rate service

Harry smiled back to familiar ground. And he turned around his attention turned back to all of the toys games and books arrayed before him.

Elaborate magical costumes, ornate chess sets, childrens books with moving pages and narration stones the man added to the books. Fantastical block puzzles, real looking lightweight plush swords, plush stuffed animals, board games. Toy wands, practice cauldrons and magical candy sets. Harry threw all these into the chest until he zeroed in on a Dog Plushie that made a rush of Nostalgia he could not place flow through him. He gingerly picked that one up hugging it to himself. The man did not comment as Harry did not put that one in the chest. He kept going until the chest was filled to bursting. Finally, he stopped and when Harry made his way to the register to see the total the man waved him off. In truth Harry had gone over what he paid the man by some 20 Galleons, but the man simply said.

"You paid exactly enough Mr. Potter. Don't worry."

After setting an appointment for the photo the man waved Harry off to a late Lunch. He could not identify the look on the man's face. Giving him a business card for a woman named Marlene here in the alley and that he could talk to her about troubles in his past and the Dursleys. Harry was quite alright thank you very much he simply wanted to play. But it would be rude to deny the man. So shrunken chest in his pocket and plush dog in hand he returned to his apartment to drop it off and went into the alley to find lunch sitting down at a café. Weird conversation aside he had a fantastic haul and he now possessed more than he ever had before. And the best part was he had barely gotten a fraction of what the store had to offer. And if was being honest with himself, he would probably barely get through a quarter of what he had bought before the next loop. Harry smiled; Dudley would be green with envy if only he could see this. And giggling he thought.

'And he never will'

While eating he noticed more people in the alley than in the previous two days. It was nearly time for the Hogwarts shopping rush. He should probably get that done today to avoid the rush. He wanted his privacy. So, the rest of his afternoon he knocked off his shopping list buying extra copies of the books for Ron. He knew Ron was very sore about his family's financial situation so he would simply switch out his books while he slept and pretended, he knew nothing. Buying some extra advanced books as a Christmas gift for Hermione. At Madame Malkins he also ordered some additional play robes in red, blue and green. They were enchanted with comfort and cushioning charms, Harry honestly just wanted to try them and he might not get them again. Honestly a lot of this loop was just a trial run. Seeing what worked and what he did not like. He was only just beginning. It was evening when he returned to his apartment.

He was tired and he had spent a ludicrous amount of money in hindsight. He was tired but happy. Stripping down for his bath he got some bath toys from his toy chest and settled in for the night. He was a little old for bath toys he admitted to himself, but this was all about making up for lost time. He would use a different one every day and all of them were fantastical. The first one he used was a magical floating iceberg with animated penguins and polar bears that jumped off the side and swam around him in the tub. The iceberg felt cold to the touch but it did not transfer to the water. He put on a loose blue collar around his neck which immediately put a bubble around his head but did not impede his sight. Mulciber had called it a safety bubble for children left alone in a pool or tub so they would not drown. It was a low powered form of the bubble head charm. He began exploring the crystal caves and features swimming down not having to swim up this time. He was almost certain it was an illusion because the surface was never not just above him. But he did not care.

He giggled underwater bubbles floating to the surface as the animated penguins swam around and under him through the tunnels keeping him company. They reacted to everything he did. Playing games with him spewing out bubble rings for himself and them to swim through. It was a fantastical experience he would remember for every single one of his loops. He went on until his body was pruned again and sadly had to get out. The penguins returned to their iceberg. Harry cleaned up and brushed his teeth. Putting on fitted pajamas with snitches flying over it. He laid back in his way too big bed phoenix blanket off to the side. And curled up with 'The tales of Beadle the bard' reading until he could not focus on the words. Putting it to the side and hugging the dog he had decided to name padfoot he put out the light and pulled the phoenix blanket over him. He underestimated its effectiveness and he was asleep before the blanket had even settled down over him. Too quick for him to even be shocked at the extreme Euphoria that came over him.

Nothing would top that first Christmas in Hogwarts. But that first sleep was the best he had ever had. He slept all the way through the night dreaming of crystal caves, penguins, and a rabbit and a stump. He slowly came to awareness the next morning with calming birdsong of what he thought must have been phoenixes. He was so incredibly warm and comfortable he almost did not want to get out of bed. But nature called and once he was out he got dressed for the day choosing one of the playrobes from Madame Malkin he was going to start his plan in earnest. Looking in the mirror once he finally wore clothes that fit him Harry looked much younger than his 10 almost 11 years of age. He could pass for 9 easily and 8 if he was not still so skinny starved as he was. He made himself an English breakfast that he ate on the balcony overlooking the alley. Instead of the headband he wore the matching childs wizard hat that came with the outfit shielding him from the sun. Mixed in the first crowds of the Hogwarts rush Harry could tell which children cam from Wizarding families and Muggleborn families based on the clothing they wore. Younger wizarding children almost universally were dressed like him sans the hat in most cases. Normally he would forgo the hat too thinking it was a little ridiculous, but he still wanted to hide his identity. He liked being able to walk around without people gawking.

Shrinking his toy chest he put it in his robe pocket along with his wand and set out for the day. He wondered if there was a wizarding park? As he set out onto the street he almost immediately backed into the alleyway he came from when he recognized Professor Flitwick escorting a muggleborn family not wanting to be caught so soon.

Right… He had forgotten the professors showed incoming muggleborn first years around. That complicated things a little. He began exploring again gawking just like first year again. The Dursleys were not religious, viewing it as more freakishness but Harry prayed to whatever or whoever would listen that he would never lose this feeling of awe.

Asking around a lovely witch hawking confections on the street pointed him in the direction of Barnaby Park. He could reach it by floo or apparition. If only he knew what the floo was. Asking her, she asked him if he was Muggleborn as he was dressed like a wizarding child. To which he blushed admitting he had bought the robes yesterday wanting to fit in. She was very excited at that notion saying.

"Now if only more Muggleborns were like you maybe there would be less prejudice. Go to the book shop and ask for the muggleborn primer."

After a moment she added.

"Both of them."

Thanking her he passed her a Galleon which made her eyes bug out trying to give it back as the confections were only 5 Knuts. Harry closed her hand saying.

"You have been more helpful to me than you know, and your pastries are very good. How about I pay for everyone today since you seem insistent?"

The woman was still being insistent so glancing around to see no one was looking he flashed up his hat making the woman go white as a sheet and a Medley of emotions go through her face.

"Harry Potter…"

She whispered with reverence as Harry rolled his eyes acting his age.

"Please don't shout it out to the street. I am trying to remain incognito."

She vigorously nodded holding the Galleon to her chest like it was her most precious possession and said.

"Anything for you Harry, have fun at the park."

Harry was still unsure about the whole hero worship thing but it certainly cemented his desire to remain hidden for now. Walking away he could see a line form as people cleaned out her stall. Harry was beginning to realize just how precious a Galleon was and felt chagrined at the sheer amount of money he had been throwing around. But he rationalized that it was all going to reset anyway. So he went to the bookshop and did just that.

"Both of them you say?"

The cashier said.

The first one already laid on a table by the counter but he left without another word and came back with a dusty tome from the back.

"That will be 4 sickles."

Harry paid the man and walked back to his apartment. The first book was more of a pamphlet really. Outlining the facets of wizarding life and seemed like a primer for muggleborn parents it was all very flowery and had little substance but there were a few nuggets of information and information such as how to open a vault at Gringotts and a map of wizarding points of interest. The explanation about the nightbus helped Harrys worry on how to get to Kings Cross. Maybe next time he could leave immediately? Though he would have no money to pay. He squinted cursing his terrible eyesight and glasses. There was fine print at the bottom. Children under Hogwarts age could ride free. The little worry Harry had evaporated. He would pay them back in any case after he got his vault again but he winced in phantom pain of his hand getting stabbed.

Finishing the book he moved onto the second older one. It waxed on about Wizarding superiority and congratulated the aspiring Wizard on adopting a superior culture. Harrys nose and brow wrinkled this sounded like Malfoy. But past the introduction the book was very thorough with an appendix so he could deal with the occasional barb. Skipping through the surprisingly thick book Harry found the section on the floo and how to use it. He read it three times to be certain and he looked outside. It was late morning now. No time like the present he supposed.

(That book would be a constant companion for the first 3 loops. It was not as bad as he expected and actually encouraged the reader who wanted to fit in. Explaining every cultural nuance and little wrinkle and taboo. It had apparently been written by a Hogwarts Muggle studies professor. Before Voldemort of course. The politics surrounding Muggleborns were different then he found. After Voldemort it had fallen out of popularity as tensions had been inflamed and was once steadily improving.)

He walked up to the fireplace and took a pinch of what he found out was floo powder. Stepping into the fire he threw down the powder saying.

"Barnaby Park!"

He stepped out of a fireplace in a cabin, a teenager he vaguely recognized from an upper year glanced up from his magazine saying in a nasally voice.

"3 Knuts entry fee. The park closes at 6."

His voice cracked at the six. Trying and failing not to giggle Harry handed over the money. The teenager he would later see in Hufflepuff rolled his eyes and went back to reading his magazine.

Stepping out of the cabin Harry gawked even harder than Diagon alley. Practice Quidditch pitches of a couple different sizes dotted the landscape along with fantastical play equipment and plants that he had only caught glimpses of in the Hogwarts greenhouses. The centerpiece was a series of floating spheres of multicolored water children and teenagers were swimming in falling from one bubble to another floating through the air like planets around the sun. Many many more different structures and play areas dotted the landscape sheltered by multicolored trees. Harrys grin could light up the sun.

"I love magic."

AN 1: This story started as a wish fulfillment fic but I have decided to play with the concept straight. Too many fics make Harry this too smart all knowing juggernaut. The world always seemed to revolve around him. This is my answer to that. And while eventually Harry will be really powerful it will be logically consistent with the world. Harry is 11. He does not even know certain questions need to be asked. Does not care to answer them either. He will react to situations as an 11 year old would and adults will react as adults will. He wants to do everything and anything he fancies. And while eventually he will start doing responsible things and uncover the secrets of the wizarding world now is not the time for that. What happened to Harry was not ok and most adults if and when they learn will act as normal humans would. Life exists outside of Harry's whims and things will move with and without his knowledge.

On the money situation its difficult, but we know a 1000 Galleons is a princely sum. A wand is 7 Galleons, food is consistently sold in Knuts and books and certain objects in Sickles. Harry giving the confectioner a Galleon is equivalent to giving a street stall 200 dollars. Maybe what she would make in a whole day. Most of the toys he filled his trunk with were valued in sickles at most. With only the more elaborate and enchanted items being valued in Galleons. I do not pay attention to the Galleon pound conversion so it wont be mentioned. Thank you for reading.