The coyote managed to hitch a lift to Toontown on the back of a blimp that conveniently happened to be floating overhead. He aimed a grapple-hook at it [thankfully managing to pierce only the metal, not the fabric] and swung underneath like some sort of coyote-Tarzan. When the skyscrapers of Toontown came into view, the coyote simply dropped onto the pavement, smashing through the brickwork in the process.
"Oi! I just laid that!" A human construction-worker toon yelled.
Wile.E struggled to his feet, held his hands up in surrender and staggered away. Now...where was ACME headquaters? After holding up a lot of signs and ending up in a lot of wrong places the coyote ended up outside the gates of ACME.
He took note of the bored-looking security guard posted outside and frowned, thinking of the best possible way to get past him. A lightbulb flicked on above his head and the coyote grinned. Perfect.
One cutscene later and the coyote - now clad in a janitors outfit - strolled confidently up to the guard and handed him a card that explained he was here to fix the pipes.
The guard looked confused and excused himself to put a call through. After a few minutes the guard came back. "All clear, Mr Coyote." He said. "Have a good day."
Fighting the urge to smirk triumphantly, the coyote was let in. Now for disguise number two. He stuck a moustache to his lip and switched the janitor outfit with a smart suit. Standing up straight and hoping to look professional he headed down the corridor until he finally saw another Toon. Clicking his fingers he got the toons attention and held up a sign asking for directions to the head offices.
"Eh...sure." The other toon said, looking confused. "This way." The coyote was escorted to the head offices, where there was thankfully no one in, and asked if he'd like a cup of coffee. The coyote's tummy rumbled and he was quickly offered lunch as well. Lunch! Wile's mouth started salivating, he should come here more often!
Finally left to his own devices, Wile.E started poking round the room, looking for a list of other toons that ACME had victimised. He tried to hack into the computer, but found himself unable to crack the code. Cursing, he hit his fist on the keyboard.
"Mr Coyote?"
The toon in question spun round, eyes blazing, only to immediately relax when he saw the food that was being offered to him. A cup of hot coffee, a plate of sandwiches, some biscuits and a few slices of cakes and some crisps, all things he had only dreamed about. The coyote fell on the sandwiches and started eating with gusto. He savoured each bite as it was his second-favourite - turkey! Granted he would have preferred roadrunner, but he wasn't about to be fussy.
The human-toon who had brought him the food watched the destruction with a mix of awe and horror. "W-was it nice?" He said, faintly, once he'd judged it safe.
The coyote, sitting with a comically full belly, burped and held up a sign that said. 'Great, thanks.'
The human-toon nodded and quickly excused himself, taking the plates with him.
Wile.E took a few moment to savour the delicious meal he'd just enjoyed, then reluctantly dragged himself to his feet. He had work to do. Unable to get into the computer he went to the cabinets and after straightening out a paper clip [sometimes the old tools were the best] he hacked his way into the files. They were alphabetically by invention, with a list of what had gone into making them, how much it had cost, how much staff power it had took and - crucially - how many people it had gone out to.
The coyote clicked his tongue, that was all very well, but the names! He needed the names. It was fine knowing 164 people ordered a ACME Boxing Glove, but without a list of names-
Just then Wile.E felt a cold wind behind him and he shivered, drawing his arms around himself. Turning to see what idiot would leave the air con on, he noticed a little bit of paper that he'd clearly overlooked before attached to the top of the computer monitor. He ran over and snatched it up, kissing it in joy, the password! Oh, thank the stars for the security-blind!
He quickly logged in, cheering when it worked, before flexing his hands and starting investigating. The coyote scanned through documents and finally tracked down a list of clients who had had almost as bad luck with ACME products as he had. He quickly scanned it, but only got as far as the top name before a knock at the door interrupted him. The same human-toon was there, but this time without food and scowling. "Who did you say you were here to see?"
Wile.E paused and screwed his eyes up, trying to remember who owned this company. Mr-Mr Charles.E-
The human-toon carried on: "Because Mr Ton says he's not expecting anyone so..." The human toon stood aside and a security guard filled up the doorway. The coyote grinned nervously, gulped and waved.
One swift kick in the tail later and Wile.E hit the pavement, scraping the fur of his front, but he barely noticed because he now had a name to go off.
Mr Ralph Wolf [Employee of ACME Sheep Farming]