Ah, just in time for the dvd release of Season 5. hehehe. This one took me some time to get the dialogue to my liking, sorry for the wait!
You knew this was coming - Dean's having a moment, and then things are getting steamy.
Hope you enjoy this one!

Two hours and a few more drinks later, it was just Sam and Manda who were still sitting around the kitchen table. Bobby had passed out awhile ago, and Dean had yet to come back inside.

Poking his head out the door a little bit earlier on the way back from the bathroom, Sam had spotted Dean sitting on the hood of the Impala. Knowing Manda was right about Dean coming back in when he was ready, and that she'd deal with him and whatever mood he was in when he did, Sam had closed the door and decided to keep her company until then.

The younger Winchester didn't think it was fair to leave Manda on her own just now, especially when his brother had called her out here, forgotten her birthday, and hadn't bothered to spend much time with her yet.

Sam had to hand to her. She seemed fine with it, and given the way she and the older Winchester were with each other, she probably was. But he had caught her casually glimpsing towards the doorway every once in awhile as if she were hoping for the reappearance of Dean. He knew she was waiting on it, because he'd also noticed the way she eased up on drinking shortly after his brother had gone outside.

Somewhat drunk, feeling tired, and wondering when Dean was going to come back and claim Manda for the rest of the night, Sam noticed her eyes drifting to the doorway again, and then how the faint trace of disappointment registered in her. "Dean's just sitting out there… doubt he'd mind if you joined him."

Manda looked at Sam awkwardly. He'd figured her out now, but she wasn't giving in to the desire to go get Dean just yet. "Why? He'll wander in sooner or later. Don't feel like you have to babysit me until he does."

Feeling a little sheepish, Sam smirked not only at the comment, but also at how much she sounded like his brother to him. "I'm not… but it is your birthday, and unlike Dean, I just thought you'd still want some company instead of being left alone."

Maybe Sam was just being polite, but still touched by the consideration, she smiled. "There wasn't supposed to be another mention of that… but thanks, appreciate it."

"Don't mention it." Sam grabbed the whiskey bottle, eying what remained in it. "So… how about another round or two?"

Manda laughed. "Might as well…"

Pouring their shots, Sam slid one in front of her when he was done.

"No more toasts," Manda smirked. "Just drink."

Downing their shots quickly, both smacked their glasses on the table at the same time. Neither one noticed Dean was now standing in the doorway watching them.

Having just walked in, Dean had gone past Bobby snoring on the couch and headed straight for the voices coming from the kitchen. Sam was making sure Manda wasn't on her own, and seeing her with his brother, he felt a little more like an ass for having been outside when he should have been in here. It wasn't like he had set out to neglect Manda so far, but he had. The fresh air had done him some good though, and now he was ready to start making it and that little matter of forgetting her birthday up to her. He was pretty sure she wasn't too bothered by his behaviour, so now he just needed to get her alone.

"You're out of your league, Sammy," he said with a smirk. "Better leave this one to me." He walked in and met Manda's questionable silent look. She wanted to know if he was ready to stick around now, and he let her know he was by sitting in the empty chair next to her.

"Dude," Sam groaned, exasperated. "Is that drinking or Manda you're talkin' about?"

Manda shook her head, but grinned. "Play nice, boys," she teased.

"Both." Dean shot Sam a look that told him to get lost now. "You're half in the tank, but she's not even close to that and neither am I."

Dean's look was hard not to miss, and while Sam knew he should leave, a few more minutes wouldn't hurt. He thought it was only fair to keep Dean waiting now since he had vanished earlier. "Sure you got enough fresh air?"

Seeing some tension rise in both brothers, Manda knew what she had to do. "Let's finish off that bottle, guys… one round left by the look of it."

Grabbing the whiskey bottle and a shot glass, Dean said, "I got it."

"One more, and then I think I'm done for the night," Sam murmured, catching another not so subtle look from Dean.

Scoffing, Dean held back a pleased smirk as he poured the last shot into his own glass. "Suit yourself, lightweight."

Throwing back their shots, all three glasses hit in the table within seconds of each other.

Getting comfortable, Dean let his outstretched knee touch Manda's leg and casually put one arm out to rest behind her along the top of her chair.

"Well… way to be subtle now that you're ready to spend time with me," Manda sarcastically joked. Dean really was anything but subtle sometimes, and this was one of them.

"Don't need to be subtle, Chambers. Sam knows how this goes, so do you." Dean flashed his trademark grin and let his eyes tell her he'd make it up to her.

Scrunching up his face with a sour look, Sam said, "And it's more than I want to." He stood up. "So, I'll leave you to it… she's all yours, Dean."

"Thanks for the company, Sam. It's rare I get to spend this day with such a handsome guy." Manda smiled up at him, knowing Dean was bound to get a bit riled up at the comment.

Clearing his throat, Dean cocked his head in her direction. "Sure you're not drunk? You're looking at the wrong brother when you say that. The handsome one's sitting right next to you."

"Says you." Sam grinned as he left them alone to engage in their flirty banter and end up in each other's arms like he knew they always had and would. Both clearly needed it too, so he was happy to head to bed now, leaving them to spend some quality time together.

"Not a chance. Sam's the one who sat with me while you were out gazing at the stars. Nice night for it, Winchester?" Manda stacked some shot glasses together then, appearing as if she was annoyed when she wasn't. If Dean had wanted her with him earlier, she would have been out there.

Her remark was snarky, but Dean knew he deserved it. "If that's your sorta thing… and don't pretend you're pissed. No one was stopping you from coming outside if you wanted my company."

Turning in her chair to look at him, Manda just chuckled softly. "Yeah, well… too late now, isn't it?"

Moving in for the kill, Dean laid one teasing open kiss on her. "Not for that... and more."

"Dean," she quietly said, feeling his hand lightly run along her thigh. "You really are a pain in the ass sometimes."

"So? You still like me for it," he chuckled, meeting her lips again for a softer kiss this time.

Not saying anything because it was true, Manda just searched his face for a moment. There was lust and a look in his eyes that told her she was getting a damn good night from him, but there was still so much else he was trying to hide. "That air do you any good?"

Not as much as you will… "Bit… just been a helluva week."

His eyes broke from hers then, and it showed her what she needed to know. "Then you can tell me all about it… but first I need to hit the little girls' room. Meet you in the one place where no one will overhear us here in a few?"

"Downstairs?" Dean smirked as turned his head to look at her.

She nodded in response. "Unless you've got a better spot in mind?"

"No… but you know we're not doing much talking down there, Manda."

"Maybe not, but you'll end up telling me what's wrong one way or another." Manda got up, and then leaned down. "Don't keep me waiting this time," she whispered in his ear, and then walked away, leaving Dean by himself.

Going to help himself to a beer, Dean knew she was right as he took a long sip. He turned out the light, grabbed another beer for Manda, and then headed for the basement knowing she'd be there within minutes herself.

{ } { } { }

Waiting for Manda, Dean sat on the desk in Bobby's demon-proof panic room. It was quiet, and as he looked around he couldn't help but think of how he and Bobby had locked Sam in here to dry out from his demon blood addiction. It was the only way to stop Sam from what he thought would lead him to going completely darkside, the only solution he had left to fight for his brother at that time.

Tried everything I could and it just wasn't enough, he thought, thinking of how badly it had backfired. Sam had escaped, trusted Ruby instead of him, done her bidding by cracking open the final seal that turned out to be killing Lilith, and the rest was history. Up came Lucifer like a jack-in-the-box, and now here they were in this mess.

All the roads taken had brought them to here and now, and no matter how hard they seemed to fight against it, things were still going south. They were losing the battle he knew they had little chance of winning.

Dean knew he was damned if he did and just as damned if he didn't. He didn't want to have to fight or kill Sam, didn't want to give in to hosting Michael, didn't want the goddamn weight of the world on his shoulders. So, he just kept on looking for another way, hoping he'd stumble upon some answer to everything. But time was running out, and his will to fight was wearing thin when everything he was doing just seemed to be futile.

Walking in, Manda found Dean sitting on a corner of desk with a distant look as he nursed a beer. Within the few minutes since leaving him in the kitchen, he seemed to have slipped back into the dismal mood he'd been in earlier. Here's hoping he talks a little…

"Don't know about you, but locking ourselves in here doesn't seem like a bad way to try riding out an Apocalypse," she said.

Being pulled out of his thoughts by her voice, Dean grabbed the other beer and held it out as she came up to him. "There's worse ways to spend it." He mustered up a smile, but didn't feel it.

Taking the beer, Manda couldn't help but notice just how down he was again. "Definitely." She tapped the neck of her bottle to his, took a small sip, and then leaned more than sat on the desk next to him. "So…"

"So…" Dean took his own small sip, finding he needed to make what was left last now. He knew she had just read him like a book.

"Just you and me, Winchester. Ready to talk yet?"

He wasn't and he was. He knew he could talk to her, but if he said he didn't want to, she'd leave it at that. Still, he knew he at least owed her some sort of explanation when she hadn't pried or even asked why he bothered calling her only to avoid her until now. "'Bout what?"

"What happened in Carthage," she said.

"Guess you already know… so if Sam told you the details, there's no reason I need to." He gave her a smile. It was a small and sad smile that didn't reach his eyes, and disappeared as he took another sip of beer.

The sadness in him was so evident then that Manda moved just an inch closer and opted for a simple touch. Her hand curled over his leg just above his knee and she squeezed it lightly as she looked at him. "Okay… we can save the heart-to-heart for later then, and you can go right ahead and throw me down and go to town just like last time if that's what you want. But you were a million miles away when I walked in, Dean, have been for most of the day."

Knowing what she was getting at, the last time she hadn't pressured him to talk about anything. It was the middle of the night before he was finally ready to talk to her about Sam and everything else as they lied entangled in bed. It just didn't seem fair to do that to her again. "Sorry."

"It's all right," she assured him softly. "I don't expect you to be all sunshine and lollipops, but you called me, and it wasn't just so you could jump my bones."

Quiet because there was truth in what she said, Dean couldn't say anything. But then he felt her arm wrap around his, and how close she was now. She seemed to know how much he needed to feel something other than what he was, so he closed his eyes, just feeling her against him.

"You've gotten all the space you're getting from me today 'cause you've got me worried… have been since your call. That's why I got here earlier than I should have. Got nothing to do with Sam or Bobby, not even my goddamn birthday… just you. So tell me what's going on or just say you're okay, shut me up with a kiss and take me to bed," Manda stated, knowing it would either go one way or the other.

He knew she meant it, and that this was the last bit of coaxing she would do because she'd given him an out if he wanted it. Opening his eyes then, Dean knew he had to talk to her, but it just wasn't as easy as it should be. "I'm…" he turned his head and laid a light kiss on her lips, unable to say okay. Far from okay? Hanging by a thread? Failing again?

Nowhere near okay… "Say it," she uttered, her eyes pleading with his as she saw how haunted he seemed now.

It took him a minute to find his voice as he just intently stared back at her, finding he couldn't lie to her. "I'm so tired, Manda," he quietly admitted.

The vulnerable side he almost always buried deep down was coming out now. "I know you are," she said, an understanding tone taking hold of her voice. "But it's more than that now."

Hesitating, Dean once again wondered how she just always seemed to know. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore," he sighed heavily, and then drank what was left of his beer. "I'm winging it a little more every day, but it's just never enough…" He tilted his head away from her and glanced around the room, staring into nothing and nowhere particular.

There was such utter hopelessness bleeding through in him then that Manda did the only thing she could do for him. She leaned a little more against to let him know he wasn't alone.

"You know what happens if I can't stop it." He closed his eyes again, feeling the warmth of Manda with him. "Ain't much of a friggin' world left once Lucifer's running around in Sam… I saw what becomes of everyone in my angel induced trip to the future…" his voice faltered as he stopped himself. He didn't even know if she existed in that future. She hadn't been there, which meant either she had died before then or was hiding out somewhere else and couldn't get to him. He wasn't sure he wanted to know which it was though, but more than likely it was the former, and he knew losing her was going to hurt almost as much as losing Sam.

Remembering what he'd told her about it, Manda just rested her head on his shoulder and then closed her eyes for a moment. "Croatoan… the devil's making Resident Evil a reality show."

"And everyone's a star," he muttered, taking the beer out of her hand then and drinking from it.

Rubbing her hand on his bicep, Manda just sat there with him in silence for a few minutes.

"I shot that son of a bitch square in the head with the Colt, Manda… and he gets right back up like some freakin' kid's toy…" He chugged back a heavy sip, finishing off the beer he'd taken from her, and then put it behind him with the other one, not wanting to break it like he almost felt he could now.

Sensing his guilt in failing, she also felt him tense beside her, so she let go of him a little and just looked at him. "That Colt's supposed to kill anything. How were you supposed to know it wouldn't work? We're always taking shots in the dark like that, hoping one of them sticks."

Not looking at her, Dean knew she was right, but that wasn't taking his guilt away. "Yeah, well not knowing… that one shot… that one shot cost Ellen and Jo their lives…" he scoffed a little roughly, trying to mask the pain he felt.

He had so much guilt and pain, and true to his fashion, Dean was stuffing it down, pretending it didn't matter. Manda would have given anything to take it away, but all she could do was try to help lessen the weight of both. She tentatively put a hand on his shoulder, hoping he didn't shrug out of it. "I'm sorry they died… but, Dean, that's not your blame to shoulder. They made their choices, and you had to take that shot no matter what. They knew it, and so do you."

He just sat there, not saying anything, not moving either. She had just told him what he already knew despite how guilty he felt for it, and for everything else. He'd broken the first seal, hadn't been able to stop Sam from breaking the last. All that blame rested on his shoulders, didn't it?

Waiting, she was glad he didn't pull away on her now, but she wasn't sure what he was thinking. He still wouldn't look at her. "Dean?"

"What if giving in is the only way to stop it, Manda?" he asked with a sullen tone. "What the hell do I do then? Let everyone die… let the world end 'cause… 'cause…" he stammered, feeling his throat closing with the words and what he knew were rising tears as he tried voicing what he worried and feared would be the only option sooner or later. "What it means… I won't… I-I… can't… I can't do that to Sammy…" His voice had broken as he choked back his tears trying not to cry and break down even more in front of her, wanting to hide this vulnerability. But Dean felt the stream of wetness down his face as he closed his eyes, and then he looked away completely, tipping his head with defeat.

Hearing his faint stifled sniffle, and seeing as he wiped away at silent tears, Manda rubbed her hand over his shoulder, knowing there was nothing she could say now. She had no answers to offer, and no words would comfort him either. So, she got up then, stood in front of him and then just wrapped her arms around him whether he wanted her to or not. She knew how much pain and guilt there was in him on any given day, but this was worse. It hurt to see him so broken down, so full of despair, and as he tensed a little, she just tightened her embrace, unwilling to let him go.

It took Dean a few seconds and then his arms went around her. He buried his face into her shoulder, and held on as he shed a few more silent tears knowing she wouldn't think less of him for it. There was a lingering kiss against his hair, and then her cheek rested against the top of his head as she reminded him it was okay to break down with her, that she was here for him no matter what.

When his grip loosened and his hands fell to her waist, Manda pulled back. He wouldn't meet her gaze as his eyes were still closed and his head was bowed again. She tenderly placed a hand on his cheek as a way to reassure him could take as much time as he needed, he knew she wasn't going anywhere.

Not able to move out from her touch, Dean pressed his cheek further into her hand for a moment. And then he opened his eyes, looked up into hers. There was love and such gentleness for him in her normally hardened eyes. He knew it hurt her to see him this way as the unspoken understanding that existed between them was there now. She was wordlessly asking if he was okay, and he was silently telling her he was trying.

Seeing the raw emotions still so present in Dean, Manda rubbed her thumb along his cheek lightly, and then she pressed her lips to his with a gentle, loving kiss. It was what he needed now, and it was what she needed herself as the need to be with him was taking over.

Breaking away, Dean just looked at her with his lips pressed together. Bobby had been right – Manda was still his girl even if she wasn't, and that's when he knew how much he still wanted, needed and loved her. The need to feel her with him was rising fast, so he kissed her then, harder, deeper, full of his sorrow and despair, but also with what he still felt towards her.

The pain was obvious, and she knew then that Dean was more torn up than he was even letting her see. "It'll be okay, baby… least for tonight," she whispered.

The softness that would always be there for her ran through him then. All the feelings he hid inside when it came to her were coming on strong as Dean reached up and gave her face a caress so light his fingers barely brushed over her skin on their way to the back of her neck. And then he pulled her to him, kissing her again as he slid off the desk to stand, only his kiss was slower now, tasting her, loving her, and throwing all his need for her into it.

Aware of his hands that were slipping from her waist to her ass, Manda felt his desire as he squeezed and then she was quickly off her feet and sitting on the desk without knowing how she got there.

Hearing a beer bottle tip and then roll from the rushed and kind of hard way he'd sat Manda down, Dean caught it behind her, edging her down a little as he did. "Oops," he whispered, locking his mouth to hers, and clumsily putting the bottle out of reach.

Passion was stirring, and the kisses went from hard to intense. Manda was struggling to breathe, and then she knew whatever was on the desk was being swept off as she trailed kisses down Dean's neck. She barely heard the clattering on the floor as he got her leaning back on her elbows with hungry kisses.

"Miss you, babe," Dean cooed with a low whisper in her ear, using one hand to undo the belt she wore with her jeans.

The words sobered Manda up, just as the expert tugging on her belt which had already had it opened and half off did. It was rare he said those words, but she knew he meant them when he did. "Easy, tiger," she said with a flirty tone.

"Think it's time I take you to bed," he said with a naughty glint in his eye, and a playful smirk. He dropped her belt next to the desk on the floor. "That throw you down and go to town offer still good?"

Manda just gave him an open kiss in response, and started pulling his shirt up his back with one hand.

Dean knew the desk was sturdy, but figured it would probably give under then once they got into the swing of things. So he backed off a little, finished pulling of his shirt and then went for hers just as she sat up straight realizing she must have figured the same.

Letting him get her out of her shirt, Manda caught his eye a moment after his gaze scanned down and up. The delicate black and white lace bra had been the last clean one in her bag, so she smirked, knowing he liked what he saw, just like he always had with her.

Dean traced her collarbone, pushing away the strap on her right shoulder where her scars started. His mouth crashed to hers then with a deep, passionate kiss, and once she wrapped her legs around him, he lifted her from the desk and headed for the cot with her.

Threading her hands through his hair as he walked them to what she guessed would be the small cot, Manda moaned as Dean kissed the spot on her neck he knew drove her nuts and then raised his mouth back to hers.

Groping her ass tightly with one hand, Dean was breathing hard when his leg smacked into the cot, and it scraped against the floor with movement. Manda giggled and went to get down, but he held her tighter, distracting her with a deep kiss as he slowly bended down on a knee to take get them down together.

Unwrapping her legs from around him as he let her slide out from his hold instead of lying her down. Manda shivered as Dean ran his hands gingerly up her back then. It was clear he was slowing down now, his urgency was giving way to something else as he lightly kissed her and then just found his way over her without being right on her. "Sweet and even a bit romantic, Winchester… you'd think it was my birthday or something," she playfully teased in a soft tone.

Pursing his lips together and raising an eyebrow, he bit back a retort, and then just soulfully searched her eyes, letting her see words he didn't want to say out loud.

Manda smiled softly, knowing what he was telling her. "Hey… still love you too," she said, pulling him to her, ready to show him she meant it.

"Sorry I, uh… forgot. Happy Birthday, Chambers," he whispered with a sweet kiss.

She let her fingers crawl light and slow up his jaw line, and then cupped her hand on the back of his neck. "Thanks, handsome… but don't sweat it. I got a feelin' it's about to be the best one yet," she assured him with a knowing smirk.

"I'll make sure it's one to remember." Dean didn't hesitate then, just kissed her with intent as he undid the button and zipper of her jeans, not wanting to feel anything else but the girl he still loved more than he could say.

All right - that was Dean's moment. Didn't you want to hug him? Poor guy's so down, so lost. Anyway, hopefully I managed to keep him in line with how he might be given everything that's just happened and has been happening. I figured he'd open up enough and let down his guard because he knows he can do that with her after how much they get each other and what they've been through in the other stories. This time Manda's the one there for him, not the other way around like it usually is.
Getting past that bit of a breakdown, true to how I've always written them, they go to the lighter mood with a bit of banter and fun.

Hope you've enjoyed this chapter!
As always - I'll try to get the next one up as soon as I can, but as you can tell - sometimes it takes time to get it to my liking.
Thanks for reading, and commenting/adding if you have or choose to! :)