Notes: The break is over. Sorry it took longer than expected to post a new chapter. This story and the characters were not at all speaking to me, and it took some time to find it again. I always try to make the 3 – 4 week deadline, but sometimes it's just not possible if the writing isn't there.

I tried writing this chapter one way, didn't like it, scrapped it, and then tried it another way. Didn't like that way even more, and ended up back where I had started – with the idea that kept nagging at me. So stick with what won't get out of your head when writing, right?

I hope it all worked out and makes sense. As always – the version with the swear words (and there wasn't many in this one) was posted over on ao3 first, and can be found there if you prefer reading it that way. But staying here for the censored version is fine too.
So, if you've been waiting for this update – the wait is over. Hope you enjoy it! Happy reading!

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Manda pulled a few items out of her duffel bag, tossing them next to her granddad's journal. Eyeing one of those items – a cell phone – for a moment, she shifted her attention back towards the journal and sighed.

Having skimmed through that journal downstairs, the information she had been seeking within it hadn't taken long to find. The name of the psychic who had told her granddad everything years ago wasn't much of a surprise in the end. She realized she should have figured that was who it had been considering her mom had been good friends with the woman when Manda had been a little girl. But now it had been so many years since she'd last seen this psychic or even spoken to her. So she wasn't even sure she was still alive, but at least she knew someone who would know. That same woman's niece was also a psychic, and was the very one Manda had consulted just as soon as Zachariah had finally figured out she was pregnant.

Tired and somewhat hesitant, she rubbed her hand over her face, and then picked up the cell phone to call her childhood friend to find out what else she wanted to know and what had happened since Castiel had been headed to there after talking to Dean.

About to make the call, Manda nearly dropped her cell phone when the angel simply appeared out of nowhere near the bedroom's closed door. "Goddamn it. Startle me like that again, Castiel and I swear I'll reconsider using that blade," she hissed out the warning.

"I didn't intend to alarm you. Sorry," Castiel replied, taking a step towards her. He had seen her jump, tense up, and instinctively put her arm over stomach to protect her unborn child without a thought even if there was no threat. "But Dean can't know I came back to talk to you, Manda."

"That must mean you're gold starring the plan after talking to Rosalind," she said, curiously looking at him. Part of her could only imagine how that conversation had gone. It had no doubt been an interesting one. The psychic would have been ecstatic to meet an actual angel even if Castiel was awkward at best.

He nodded with a heavy sigh. "Yes… Rosalind was telling the truth. Her predications have not changed. I'm afraid there is no other way around this now. You have to do this spell."

Rubbing at the furrow in her brow then, Manda just shook her head a little. She had tried telling him that earlier. But now she had heard something in the angel's tone that said there was something else troubling him about this. "What else is wrong, Castiel?"

"Dean," he stated, saying the hunter's name with a serious tone.

"What about him?" She stood up then, giving him an inquisitive glare while wondering what else could possibly being going on now.

"Dean is…" Castiel started and then stopped, unsure how to broach this subject with her. He'd poked around in Dean's dreams before, and he'd taken a quick look in his mind again earlier just to see how the hunter really felt about her and their child. "Your daughter, you… that's the life he wishes he had. You must know it's what Dean dreams about most, and how much he actually does want it. But once he no longer has that to hold on to…"

She turned around, closed her eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek almost instantly. She knew what Dean was losing in a few days since she was losing that same thing too. But only one of them was going to be able to hang on to that dream and it wasn't Dean. "Take it up with the man who obviously crafted this whole mess and refuses to clean up aisle five - your father," she uttered sarcastically with a cold tone.

"I can't," Castiel shot back harshly. Not being able to find God was now a sore spot, and he was losing his faith a little more every day, but he didn't know how to give up on the hope of being able to find him.

"Doubt he cares anyway. If he did, I sure as hell wouldn't have to scrub Dean's mind of me and our daughter just to keep them both alive." Manda turned around to see Castiel giving her one hell of an unfriendly glare. She met it with her own. "So what now? What do you want?"

Staring at the female hunter then, he noted again how much she seemed to stand her ground in all situations. It reminded him so much of the older Winchester just then that it was the reason why he was here to ask her his next question about what plagued him most about this situation now. "There's something I need to know. You're Dean's soul mate. Your nature is incredibly similar, nearly identical to his at times. What do you think he'll do once you've done this spell? How do you think he will be after he no longer remembers you and your child, and that dream of his is gone?"

She broke the angel's gaze and just shrugged. "We're still different in ways. But since you're asking, Cass… he'll basically give up, feel broken and empty. I know I would. And yet he'll go on as long as he can that way because that's just how Dean is," she answered, her voice going hollow. Manda knew there was no way possible doing this to Dean wouldn't leave some kind of emotional fallout in him, she just hoped it wouldn't sent him past the point of no return. She worried it would, and obviously so did Castiel. "After that, I don't know. So if you're actually asking me if he'll say yes to Michael right now, well, I don't think he would. But depending on what push comes to shove at the wrong time… that's a hard call to make."

Hearing her honesty in that answer, Castiel appreciated it, but he also realized how quick she was to have picked out what he wanted to know. That indirectly he'd been asking about what worried him most about this situation. With Dean now knowing the lives of Manda and their daughter were at stake it made him wonder it was enough to make his human friend say yes. But so did not being able to remember them in a few more days, because losing what that dream life gave the older Winchester deep down inside might also lead him directly to saying yes to Michael. "It is."

Unsure if he was saying that was what he wanted to know or if he just agreed that was a hard call to make, she just nodded. "Look, I know what I'm taking from him. But if at the end of everything that happens he's still alive and so is our daughter… then I did my part. Even if we're not together, our family will have survived at all costs, and hopefully he'll get to meet his daughter one day because of that. That's what really matters here, and after everything else Dean deserves to have the family he dreams of having."

"Yes." Castiel stared at the female hunter, feeling sad for her at this moment. The situation she was in, the strength it was taking her, and the heartache she'd be left with soon enough might just do her in, but he wasn't so sure it would. So as he thought again about everything he knew about Dean and about her, it really didn't surprise him she was who God had most likely chosen to be the one to bear the older Winchester's child, especially at a time like this. "But what if you don't make it, Manda?"

She stared at him for a moment. That was a question she'd thought of enough of already. "Then I don't make it. And this was all for nothing, but at least I gave it the best damn shot I could. I owe my baby and her father that much. Now if only yours felt the same about his offspring and the world, huh?"

Castiel stared at her impassively. Part of him wanted to defend his father to her, and the other part of him was beginning to feel like her point was valid enough not to. God obviously didn't share her sentiment, and the angel just wasn't sure why or what to think about that anymore.

The cell phone she had left lying on the bed started to ring then and Manda turned her head to look at it. "That's probably Roz calling to give me the dirty details of your first rendezvous." Turning her head back to look at Castiel, she found the room empty. The angel had just left without a word. She shook her head, muttered out her thanks to the empty room and then answered the call.

[ - ]

Heading upstairs, Dean stopped when he got to the top, reluctant to go any further for a moment. Downstairs he'd been telling Sam and Bobby all about what Castiel had gotten out of Manda's mind, and maybe why it was she hadn't told any of them about what Zachariah had done to her in one of her dreams. It had left a bitter taste in all their mouths, and the three hunters had then sat around discussing what to do next. They tried to come up with an idea of where she might be able to go and the best way to hide her for the rest of her pregnancy or at least until the apocalypse was stopped or over. Still, none of them had been able to think of a sure-fire plan, and not one of them quite wanted to admit that letting her go this alone like she wanted to was still probably her best shot at surviving.

So, this had been one hell of a day for him so far, and as he stood there thinking about how tired he was, how beyond screwed up his life was right now, and how much the woman in Bobby's spare bedroom still needed him tonight, he knew it wasn't over with just yet. Manda needed to feel safe and sound, to relax enough to stop looking over her shoulder for at least one night, and that was something he knew only he could offer her now. Like so many times before, Dean knew that just being there beside her was enough to do that, but he knew he'd end up holding her as close as he could. If he was honest with himself then they both needed that comfort tonight.

Walking over quietly to Bobby's spare bedroom then, he got to the doorway and stood there once seeing Manda in shorts and a loose v-neck tee that sat off-shoulder to leave her unscarred shoulder exposed. He blinked because he didn't think he'd ever seen her wear this much clothing to bed. He had definitely almost always made sure she hadn't. But as he watched her sitting there against the headboard, reading a book with one hand and rubbing small circles over her stomach with the other, he realized why. Her body was no longer just hers – their daughter also inhabited it at the moment.

"What?" Manda suddenly asked, glancing at him for a second. She knew he'd been watching her because she'd heard him approach and then just stop, but he hadn't said a word.

"Nothing," Dean muttered, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. "You said take it easy but it looks like you've already got your feet up. Really milking the whole pregnant thing, huh, Chambers? Hope you're not expecting me to give you a foot rub tonight."

Laughing, she closed the book in her hand and then dropped it on the bed beside her. "Not at all. But the look on your face said you weren't expecting to find me wearing this much clothing. Sorry, handsome. I'm a little more for comfort than sexy these days."

Chuckling deeply with an expression that said she was right, he came over and sat on the side of the bed. His gaze travelled over her just then. "Wouldn't say that… those bare legs and shoulder suggest you haven't entirely lost the sexy."

She rolled her eyes, but grinned anyway. He was clearly teasing her about it even if the look in his eyes said something else. "That's the goal."

Dean picked up the book she'd been reading, looking at the title then to see what she'd been studying so intently a minute ago. "Baby books? That's your bedtime reading these days?" he asked.

"Research. Thought it might be better to know what's normal or not when growing another human instead of just reading the usual lore on and for how to gank this week's monster."

He nodded in agreement, began flipping through the book with mild curiosity because he had no idea what was in a book like this one. "Makes sense. So does this explain things like why your boobs are getting bigger and why the waterworks start out of nowhere?" he somewhat joked with her.

Reaching over, Manda gently placed her hand on his wrist to stop him just as he got to the page she had stopped at, not wanting him to see what she was using as a bookmark. It would hurt, or at least stir up a bunch of emotions she hated to think she was robbing him of once the spell on his memory of her was done. She wanted all of this to be as easy on him as it could possibly be given the circumstances, and even then she knew it was still going to hurt him beyond belief. "Dean, don't… you don't need to read it."

Glancing up from the book to her and seeing how much she didn't want him to pay attention to what was inside of it, Dean just brushed her hand away. He pulled out the black and white photograph a little unsure of what he was actually looking at first, but quickly realized it was an ultrasound photo. For a moment he stared at the image like it was alien before making out the shape that was clearly their child growing in her womb. He let his eyes wander over to Manda's stomach, seeing it completely different now, and then looked back at the ultrasound photo. Holy freakin' hell… that's… "I-is this, uh… this the kid's first mug shot?" he asked, his voice breaking with a trace of nervous wonder.

She nodded with a small smile. "First one I let be printed. Had a check-up last week and I said no to learning the gender when they did that, but Castiel spoiled that reveal earlier… So yep, it's definitely her mug shot for now."

Taking another good look at the image, Dean nodded. It hit again, sinking in even more at that moment that he was actually a father and how in a few months he'd actually have a daughter if nothing happened to Manda and the baby before then. He closed his eyes briefly wishing to hell and back and heaven and beyond that nothing would happen to them and that in a couple months he'd be lucky enough to able to meet their child. He put the photo back in the book and closed it before handing it back to her then. "You're both really doing okay? No problems or whatever after what happened with those goddamn demons?" he casually asked.

"Doctor gave us a clean bill of health. Baby's healthy, and everything else looks normal according to him. He basically even called it a model pregnancy at this point. So minus the enormous asshole angel after both of our asses right now, we're doing just fine," Manda said, tossing the book on top of her duffel bag on the floor she had left near the bed.

He took a moment to take off his boots and then sat back a little further on the bed next to her. "Good. That's some good news at least."

They both got very quiet then, neither was quite sure of what to say to the other next.

Dean used that moment of silence to remove his undone plaid shirt and get a little more comfortable while Manda just sort of slid down more so she was almost lying down now.

"Well this is… kinda awkward," he uttered quietly, finally breaking the silence that had settled between them after a few minutes.

"A little," she agreed. "But it's obviously not our first rodeo."

Chuckling, he slid down a little and then inched a bit closer to her. "Most definitely nowhere near our first rodeo."

Turning her head to look at him, Manda just lifted a brow. "Um… are you seriously gonna hog the bed tonight?"

"No," he scoffed, feigning insult. "Just getting comfy here, sweetheart. This double ain't that big, and don't pretend like we both don't know we'll end up even closer than this soon enough." Dean looked back at her with a cocky smirk.

She let out a soft yawn. "Uh-huh. Although, I'm not worried you're making a move tonight. Pregnant isn't your type and I might not be huge yet but that baby bump's showing enough to remind you that's exactly what I am. Not like I feel attractive enough right now to try making a move on you either."

Wanting to laugh, Dean couldn't, but the look on his face was comical as he tried to suppress it. "Maybe that's true, but shut up. You're a total MILF… or soon-to-be MILF, or whatever it is, Manda."

Manda chuckled at the so-called compliment. "Thanks?"

"Not that I'm suggesting it, but if you can't contain those hormones while I'm here…" he half-kidded with her. Even if she already knew it or not, he was now just letting her know he was here if that's what she wanted tonight.

She laughed deeply then, shaking her head at him. "Winchester, I don't think you could handle it."

"You're probably right," Dean chuckled. "But who knows…"

"As much as I'd love to when it's been a few months and will be many more, I'm not sure I could handle it either," Manda admitted. Physically she knew sex wouldn't be a problem, but knowing what she was going to do to him in a few days would probably rip her apart emotionally, and all the pregnancy hormones already had her emotions all over the place anyway.

Dean cocked his head at her, raising a brow, not believing he'd just heard her say that. "Months? Hmm, well if that's not a reason to make sure you get laid tonight… I don't know what is."

Guffawing, Manda turned a little more on her side to face him. "There he is… same old Dean looking to get lucky."

He scoffed. "Just saying. If it's gonna be that long for you, well, I'm here, you're here, and we could both do with relieving a little stress tonight as it is."

She sat up, looking at him comically. "Yeah, and knowing there's a bun in the oven right now isn't going to freak you out somehow during that?"

The point was valid. Dean had never messed around with a pregnant woman, not that he knew of anyway. If he had, they hadn't been showing at all. "Okay, maybe I've never slept with a pregnant chick before. So no doubt that it might be a little weird for a second or two."

"See," Manda said.

"But that's my kid you're carrying." He sat up beside her then. "So it's not that weird when all we deal in is weird, is it? My life and yours have been so full of things way weirder than this, Chambers. The things we've both seen and done?" He let out a hard scoff. "We've both spent our whole lives hunting supernatural pieces of crap, and we've both been dead and brought back too, so this barely makes a blip on our scale of weird if you think about it."

Dean was giving her a speech and making a point. She just looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, and then reached out to lightly caress his cheek. "True enough. But I'm still a mess. Hormones are so whacked out that I'll probably cry on you the whole time, and my body's not quite the same since it's accommodating a baby."

"Yeah, I noticed that," he chuckled softly. "Stomach's no longer flat, but you're wearing it well. Can't even tell from behind you're knocked up. And you're glowing or whatever, which only makes you even hotter somehow."

Manda guffawed with amusement. "Laying the charm on now, huh?"

"Shhhh," Dean whispered, leaning in and softly kissing her then. "Charm's not what matters here. But you know we could just…" he trailed off, lightly running kisses down her neck. "Go to sleep and try to pretend you're not scared crapless about having this kid during the apocalypse, I'm not the glove one of those archangels needs to wear to that crap-show, and that this might be the very last time we see each other alive. If that's what you want do?"

She closed her eyes, shoving down all the heartache in that. He wasn't wrong about any of that, but he didn't know this was probably the last time he'd see her and know who she was, never mind alive. Charm didn't matter at all here, just being here and together right now did. They both knew it. Not wanting to take that away from him tonight, she opened her eyes again and stared deeply into his. "It's not," she said. Reaching out to graze her fingers along his cheek then, she just smiled before pressing her mouth to his with a gentle kiss. "But sometimes, Winchester, I really hate loving you."

He tilted his head at her and a wide smirk took hold. "Same here, Chambers. But it's a little too late to stop that now, ain't it?" His arm slide behind her back and he pulled her closer for an open kiss, his tongue slipping past her lips almost immediately.

Moving to be over him a second later without breaking her mouth from his, Manda straddled him before pulling back from the kiss. "Well, long as we're in the same boat… no one else I'd rather be stuck up the creek with minus the friggin' paddle."

Dean chuckled deeply as he let one hand run slowly up her back and end up at the nape of her neck, tangling his fingers in her hair. "Oh, sweetheart, you know I can't save you this time."

She leaned in closer to him again, her face an inch from his, and crossed her arms behind his neck. "Never asked you to, handsome. Not before this and definitely not now."

"No, you never have…" His eyes just searched hers. She never had asked him to save her, not once, and yet he had whether she had wanted him to or not. The truth was he knew he wouldn't have had it any other way either. "But I did it anyway," he softly told her. "And I'm not sorry about it." He put his hand under the back of her shirt then, letting his fingers graze along her spine before drawing her even closer for another kiss that was slow but even more heated and intense than the last one.

Manda moaned deeply as his hands travelled down to her ass and then out along her thighs. And then she was grabbing at his t-shirt and yanking it up his back. "Thanks for always being my white knight, Dean."

"Mm-hmm, anytime," he uttered, letting her get his t-shirt over his head before seeking her lips with intent this time.

Feeling his hands sneak along her waist, and then as his fingers curled under her the hem of her t-shirt, she also felt how they brushed along the skin of her swollen stomach. He tensed up and froze under her then, so she just pulled back a little to look at him.

Eyes locked with hers, he just took that moment to breathe even if a whole string of emotions threatened to overwhelm him now. It made this moment too much and yet not enough at all. It took him a few seconds before he just gently ran his hand under the t-shirt, feeling the taut bump for what it, thinking all the while of how much he loved the woman currently on his lap, and how much he would love the child they'd created.

"Second thoughts? If this is too much, we can stop now," she whispered, barely breathing as his fingers grazed back and forth then. Her eyes welled up with tears that threatened to spill because she could read what was written all over his face right then.

"Nah," he muttered, giving her a light kiss to reassure her. "Just… maybe it's better if you steer this ship tonight. Not like I want to hurt you or the kid somehow, so I'm not too sure what the rules are for you like this."

She let out a soft chuckle, patted his cheek tenderly. "Dean, it's sex, not rocket science. I think you know what to do and what not to."

Dean rolled his eyes at her but grinned anyway. "Yeah, well, just checking." He let his fingers grip the end of her t-shirt and then he was pulling it up slowly, not breaking eye contact with her until he was getting the shirt over her head. And then his gaze dropped, his eyes travelled over her and an playful smirk lit up his face. "Okay, I'm over the weird part, gorgeous. And maybe rocket science is a subject I know jack-squat about, but lucky for us, sex isn't…"

Notes: Well, having Castiel come back to talk with Manda is the idea that kept nagging at me. I tried writing it with having her talk to the psychic first and then having him appear while that happened, but it just didn't quite work out. So back to the writing board, and this is how it ended up. I'm not entirely certain Cass would ask her that about Dean, but that's where it went while I was working on it. Show's timeline at this point has Castiel's faith in everything is somewhat faltering. So maybe it makes sense that he did ask.

Then it all came down to figuring out how Dean and Manda were going to spend this night together. From day one of the original outline, I always saw them being how they usually are with each other and ending up in bed. So I do hope that it all rang true not only to how I've always written Dean, but for how these two are with each other.
Having Dean see the ultrasound photo was a way for him to meet his daughter, because quite frankly, he suspects he never will get to. It allowed for the reality of the situation to sink in with him just a little more. Because you know as things usually do for them, something might go sideways soon enough... such a possibility after all.
Maybe you feel Manda should have broken down on him and confessed everything she's still keeping from him. But I don't think she would. As she has always done, she's just trying to spare Dean as much pain and heartache as she can.

Now the next update might be awhile again. I will try to get it up as soon as I can, and hopefully it doesn't take as long. Got a good idea for it, and fingers crossed I can pull it off.

So, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and as always – thanks for reading!