Apologies for the very long wait in an update. This chapter was difficult to come up with and while I had hoped to add more to it, it just didn't work out that. So it's a little shorter in length, but hopefully not lacking in quality either. It's taken so long because I got annoyed with it, tried to see it going a different way, but decided this one will be written the way I want it to instead of just trying to please readers or gain readers and whatever else. I tossed my hands up at it a bunch, but in the end this is how it went. Obviously it's been slightly edited of swearing for this site as opposed to how it's posted on a03. I'm also having trouble with accessing this site (which I've discovered is somewhat of a common problem these days) so the updates may be slower to be posted or stop at all.
Now, on to reading... hope you enjoy it!

Back in bed for awhile already, resting with his eyes closed, envisioning how family life would be for him and Manda and the daughter they were going to have, Dean became all too aware that not only was she now awake but that he was still strumming his fingers across her stomach as her hand clamped down around his wrist. This wasn't the reception he thought he'd get when she finally woke, but it was the one he got. It was also far from the one he hoped for if this happened to be the last morning they ever got to spend together again. "Morning…" he muttered in a bit of a cold tone.

Already struggling to keep herself together, Manda was grateful he was behind her, unable to see her face. Having woken a few minutes ago from Zachariah's revelation about her daughter also being able to be Michael's vessel and his offer still fresh in her mind to Dean running his fingers back and forth over her belly was just too much. She knew he'd say yes to save their child in a second once he found out his daughter was the angel team's back-up plan, and nothing she could say would be able stop him from it either. The stakes had just been raised again and now she was no longer sure what to do or if her plan was enough to save both him and their daughter. It took her a few more seconds before she drew in a deep breath, gripping even tighter onto his wrist then. "H-hey…" she barely whispered out.

Hearing the break in her voice, he quit moving his fingers, yet his hand stayed right where it was – splayed firmly over her stomach as if he could the one thing he felt he couldn't do after today – protect the unborn child within it. But when Manda's nails started digging into his skin, he knew something wasn't right because she didn't seem to be about to let go of his wrist either. "Sorry."

The shortness of his tone stung her a little, but he must have felt like he was doing something wrong when he really wasn't. Biting her lip to stop from bursting into tears, she took another deep breath, shaking her head a bit. She didn't want to face him yet, didn't think she could without falling apart. "Don't be. It's okay."

"Sure? That death grip you've got on me says otherwise." Dean wasn't sure what was going on with her. He thought maybe she was just overly emotional again. That maybe the way he'd gently been grazing his fingers over her baby bump had just set her off, or maybe she was just feeling the same way he had when he'd first woken – unprepared to face the rest of this day for what it held in letting each other go for who knew how long if not maybe forever. "You all right?"

Manda used her other hand to rub at her eyes even though it really didn't matter if Dean saw she'd been crying. He'd only assume the hormones were making her emotional again anyway. Twisting more on her back then, she finally looked at him. "Yeah," she lied. "Sorry. That was nice, soothing even, but…"

"Weird?" he interjected. Propping himself up on his elbow now, he looked down at her. The smile Manda wore was weak. He was about to read more into when he realized what else she had said. "Wait, soothing? What's wrong? Is it the baby?" he asked, concern leaking through in his voice. Lifting a brow at her, he curled his fingers a little more over the swell of her stomach like he might be able to feel what was wrong. It quickly crossed his mind then that maybe her quick trip home with Castiel was already physically catching up with her, that sex last night hadn't been a good idea in the end, or that Zachariah's dream torment was the actual culprit here.

"No," she replied, finally letting go of his wrist. "Stomach's a bit unsettled this morning. That's all." It was a complete understatement because the nausea was overwhelming and it wasn't at all related to being pregnant. Lying to Dean had already been hard yesterday, but the guilt she now felt over it was making her sick. "Been that way every morning this whole week. Nothing to worry about."

Searching her eyes for a moment, he wasn't sure that was the entire truth, but physically she seemed to be okay. "Alright. Well, you're the knocked up one here, so if you say that's all it is…" he uttered, leaning in to give her a soft kiss then. He rubbed her stomach again, giving her a look that said more than he realized it did. When she tensed a little, he stopped. She now looked like she was about to break down on him. "I, uh… I don't have to do that."

Eyes misting over, Manda shook her head. It was evident that he was trying to bond somehow with their baby and how important it was for him to do this. Refusing to let him do what he needed to now wasn't right or fair to him, not when she could see how much a moment like this meant to him. "No… it's fine. Really." Staring into his eyes, she reached up, lightly brushed her fingertips along his jaw line. "Maybe she's growing inside of me, but she's also yours… so take a few minutes if you want. Who knows if you'll get another chance, right?" He wouldn't. Hell, Dean wouldn't even remember doing this at all if she still carried out her plan, but even if he didn't quite know about that, it wasn't like they both didn't know him getting another chance like this was slim to none after today.

Dean looked at her a little sheepishly and nodded. That was why he'd been doing it in the first place. When he'd gotten back into bed, he just wanted to make what little time they had left together matter. He wanted his unborn baby girl to somehow feel her dad was here right now and that he loved her. Especially if he wasn't going to be around for her later, because he wasn't even sure there would be a later at this rate. His gut kept telling him there wouldn't be. Tenderly, he strummed his thumb over the taut bump again. "You're sure you're both okay?"

"Mm-hmm," she mumbled, closing her eyes again. The pain and the guilt she now felt was crushing, and all she could do was shove it deep down for the time being so Dean wouldn't pick up on it anymore than he already was. "We're fine. I swear." She felt his hand slide under her t-shirt, and just took in the roughness of his hand and the softness in the gentle way he was gliding his fingers along her skin. She'd miss that touch, but knew she would miss him even more.

Watching her for any signs of discomfort, he saw none and just let his hand keep moving. It took him a minute to work up the nerve, but now was as good a time as any to ask something he was curious about. "So… you, uh… you got a name in mind for our girl yet?" He posed the question casually, hoping maybe she had thought of one already so he could at least know what her name would be.

Manda opened her eyes, raising a brow at him a little funny, because she hadn't been expecting that question at all. She wondered why he was asking. "Umm…no… I haven't let myself even think about names at all, just in case. Why? You got a suggestion?"

"No… no… just wondered." He let his eyes drift away from hers, pictured the little girl from last night's dream. "Actually, if it was up to me… probably Mary, after my mom. You know she… she named me and Sam after her parents." Dean was still softly rubbing circles over her belly just then when he felt something move under his hand and her skin. Quickly removing his hand because it freaked him out, he sat up in a hurry. "Whoa, Chambers, what the hell was that?" he asked with suspicion, pointing at her stomach. Even though he knew there was in fact a fetus in there, he now eyed it like some creature was about to rip her apart from the inside and pop out at him. "Tell me you're just gassy or something because maybe we're hunters and weird stuff is our thing but I've seen Alien… and uh… yeah…" Damn it, why am I freaking out? It's a baby, not an alien or a demon or something with claws and fangs…

Eyes widening with some surprise at the same time he sort of freaked out, Manda inhaled sharply upon feeling something a little unusual that she hadn't before. Anticipating this moment, knowing it was supposed to happen around this time even, she just hadn't been sure of exactly when it would. At close to nineteen weeks along now, she'd just felt her baby move for the first time and she almost couldn't believe it was happening or that Dean was actually here for it either. She took a quick glance down at her stomach and smiled before looking up to see his disturbed face, and could only chortle even though her eyes were misting over. "Dean, I'm not gassy. Quit freaking out. Nothing's bursting out of me with claws or fangs. That was… o-okay, wow…" she trailed off, feeling another harder kick or punch or whatever somersault it was her baby girl was doing. Carefully, she sat up then, leaning back into the headboard, softly rubbing a hand along the side of her stomach to encourage the baby to keep moving. "Baby's moving. Kicking, I think. First time she's done that, too. So either you've got the Midas touch or she wanted her daddy to know she's perfectly fine." She grabbed his hand and quickly placed it on the spot the sensation was coming from again. "There. Feel that? Girl's definitely using some force."

"Wh-what? That was… she moved… she's kicking?" he kind of stammered, stunned. Reluctant, he tried pulling his hand away again, not sure he should let himself have this, but Manda held his hand there clearing wanting him to share in the moment. Looking at her then with a hint of disbelief, he realized he did feel it. He was unsure if it was tapping or some kind of fluttering, or what exactly the baby was doing in there, but he could feel it. The movement still freaked him out, but as it kept happening, it also kind of amazed him. Eyeing her baby bump with another curious look, when the movement stopped for a second, he gently tapped a finger on it and felt another kick in response a moment later. "Alright, yeah… knew that's all it was. Huh… so that's really my… our girl doing that?" He smirked proudly. Thought maybe, just maybe, somehow his daughter knew he was there, and maybe he had connected with her on some level. His eyes met Manda's, his smile widened. "She's definitely trying to get someone's attention with those moves. And the good news is she's already hitting harder than her Uncle Sammy does."

Manda chuckled, let go of his hand then. She had seen the way Dean's eyes lit up for a second, the intense emotion on his face. So of course he chose to lighten the moment for them both instead. She went with it for his sake. "I won't tell Sam you said that."

"Don't worry, I'll let him know. Then maybe you should let him feel this so he can take a pointer or two from his not even born yet baby niece." He moved his hand slowly then, feeling the movement follow under it. "Hmm. Feels like she's really kicking some ass in there. But of course she is. She's my kid. Just gonna be trouble for your insides if that's how she hit on a first go."

Laughing softly, she nodded, feeling the baby's movement somewhat uncomfortable and yet comforting. "Figured as much. With her timing she's already a troublemaker through and through. Must be the Winchester half of her genes," she joked.

He felt a fainter kick and then the movement under his hand stopped completely. Dean felt a little disappointed it was over with already, but he grinned at Manda anyway. He took his hand off her stomach then. "Sweetheart, your half ain't so innocent on that front either. And I know you can handle my kind of trouble, but here's hoping the kid goes easy on you."

Eyes clouding with tears, she smiled at him. She reached up, caressed his cheek softly. "Glad you were here for this, Dean."

"Yeah, Manda… so am I," he muttered, leaning in real close to her. He was thankful he'd been around for this, that at least he'd gotten to share this moment with her, and that he'd gotten to be there for a first of his daughter's because no more were guaranteed after today. His lips slowly met hers for a deep kiss.

When he pulled back a little, she just grazed her fingers lightly through his hair at back of his neck. "So… is the usual out of the question this morning?"

Dean chuckled, he knew what she wanted. "It's not," he murmured as he kissed her again. Then he moved to be beside her. "We can do that as long as you want because Sam and Bobby figured you might actually get some sleep here, and that there might be a few things you and me need to settle before we do things your way later today."

Manda shifted onto her hip, curled up against his side. She laid her head on his shoulder and then took his hand into hers, lacing her fingers with his. "You still okay with that?" she asked.

"No." He just let her get as comfortable as she wanted. Her fingers squeezed his, so he squeezed hers back. "You know I don't like this plan of yours at all. Even less so now that I felt her kicking, and especially after last night," he admitted. "And I'm fighting every goddamn instinct in me not to make you stick with me and Sam whether you want to or not, Chambers. You're having my baby and… hell… you and me are always gonna be you and me… together or not we're family, and maybe you don't want me to do it, but it's my job to protect you and our kid from here on out."

Tears clouded her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to let him do just that – protect her and the baby. She knew he'd do it to his dying breath without a thought, and that was exactly why she couldn't let him do it. "Winchester, you know I'm fighting those same instincts," she confessed.

He nodded, let go of her hand and put his arm around her instead. "Course. Because the safest place in the world for you right now is with me even if it's also the most dangerous. But the truth is it's just the worst place, and I get that, okay. She deserves the best shot at being born and you being with me for the next few months isn't giving her it. So you go so freaking far underground Zachariah and anyone else looking for your ass is digging up fossils, Manda."

"Dean, they'll have better luck finding an actual trace of Bigfoot."

Guffawing, Dean smirked. He almost completely believed that was true, but he knew Zachariah wouldn't stop turning over stones to find her. "Add Hoffa and D.B Cooper to that and I'll rest a little easier knowing it's that hard to find you."

Tilting her head to look up at him, Manda chuckled. "Copy that, handsome. And I'll do my damnedest, but that's a tall order."

"It would be," he said, glancing down at her then. "But I know what I'm asking just as much as I know who I'm asking it of."

She stared up at him for a moment with a thoughtful look. He definitely knew her and what she was capable of. He also wasn't asking for anything less than he would do himself. She knew there really would never be another man like Dean Winchester in her life after this. "Wish we didn't have to leave here," she said, tearing up. "Guess that open road was always meant to be between us though, huh?" The pain leaked through in her voice, the heartache of saying goodbye was quickly sinking in deeper than she wanted it to.

With a half-smile that projected sadness, he knew this was it – she was preparing herself to say goodbye to him. It wasn't she wanted, that was written all over her, but it was all she could do now. He didn't want it either, but there didn't seem to be much of a choice. The thought of never seeing her again after this wasn't one he could bear. No other woman out there would get him quite the same way Manda Chambers did. "Don't," he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead. "We rode it together for awhile, Chambers. More than once, too. And we'll do it again… if there's still even a frigging road left to ride by then."

"Hope so." Putting her hand over his heart, she held back her tears, spoke truthfully. "But if not, Winchester… you know I'd do it all over again."

He smirked, put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up a little more. "Damn right I know," he muttered as his lips met hers for a heated kiss. "No regrets there, gorgeous. Not one."

She nodded, opening her eyes to look at him. In that moment, her eyes said it all as they filled with the intense emotion that swirled through her when it came to Dean – love.

Searching her eyes, Dean just nodded, understanding what she was telling him. "Oh, so you'd still do that in a heartbeat too, wouldn't you?" he asked with a bit of a chuckle.
Grinning a bit sheepishly, she shook her head. "If you were the settling down kind of man… you can bet that fine ass of yours I'd still say no."

"Sure. Whatever." He laughed. "But who said I'd ask you in the first place, sweetheart? It's more like we'd be mid-rite in exorcising a demon and somehow end up hitched."

"Nice try. My Latin's as good as Sam's and you know it. So that ain't likely." She chortled. "But, Dean, who are you kidding? You'd ask. In a typical you kind of way. No grand gesture, definitely no plan. It'd probably happen in bed, and probably post sex. You'd just look over and say something like, "Uh, Chambers… we tying that knot yet or what?" and then make it seem like it was all my idea."

Making a face at first, he thought about it for a moment and then his expression said she had a point. "Hasn't that been your idea since the day you gave me your dad's ring, Manda?"

"Told you that day it didn't come with a commitment or the hope for one. And shut up. Because you've had more than enough chances to slip that ring back into my things without me knowing about it but you never have."

She was right about that, and she knew it. Not that he was about to admit to it. "That your way of finally asking for it back?" he deflected.

"Not a chance in hell. That ring might end up being one of the only things that'll remind you of me some day, Dean."

"Manda, you're not a chick I'd ever forget. Knew that from the moment we met."

Her eyes welled up. But you will forget me, handsome… You have to… God help me. "You may need to for these next few months. Not just for my safety but also yours. You don't need to be out there worrying about me, not with everything else on your plate."

"You saying you won't be out there worrying about me then?" He scoffed.

"I'll worry enough for the both of us. Make that the three of us." Manda grinned a little sadly. "Trust me, I already am. But you can't afford to fill your head with worry about me and the baby. It won't do you any good out there, and it won't help me any."

Dean searched her eyes for a moment, wondering how she thought it was even possible that he wouldn't worry about his family. "You really think it's that easy?"

"No… but when do you ever do easy? And I'm not talking about the chicks you pick up on the road here." She gave him a knowing look.

A small, deep laugh escaped him. While he knew she was lightening the mood by teasing him now, it wasn't like he could argue with that. It was true. They both knew it, but she seemed to forget something as well. " Yeah, well… picked you up on the road, didn't I?" he shot back.

She playfully smacked him in the arm with a flat palm, and laughed anyway. He was right about that. "Yeah, but I wasn't easy… well, not until we met up again after that first snafu in your plan to bed me."

Smirking wide, Dean nodded. "That snafu was all your doing, Chambers. After that… well, it's been smooth sailing ever since. Now it's impossible for you not to end up in bed with me every time we see each other."

"Which is how we ended up here," Manda said quietly. She rested her head back on his shoulder and slipped her arm across his waist. "Bun in the oven and screwed at every turn at the end of days."

Not saying anything because that was completely the truth of the matter, he just wrapped his arm a little tighter around her. He wanted to tell her not to worry about it, not to even think about it, that somehow he'd figure out how to stop it all without saying yes to Michael, but he knew she'd see through all that right down to his doubt and fear. "Wouldn't be us if it was any other way, would it?"

She moved her head to his chest and laid a gentle kiss on it. "Uh-huh. And on that note, thanks for the night, Winchester. Got something to dream about for at least the next sex-free year."

Dean guffawed even though he didn't quite feel it. He softly ran his hand up and down her arm then. "Year? You kidding? It might be sometime after you pop, but it won't be year. We'll do this again, Manda," he uttered, feeling like he was now lying to her. "You'll see. And that sex will be at least a hundred times better than any dreams you have while you're hiding. I'll even bet my life on that."