The first thing Ben felt when he woke up was snow crunching underneath him and an oppressive icy wind pressing against his face. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw a small figure with a shovel digging around.
"Great, another dead Vault Hunter. Handsome Jack's been busy."
His vision returned to him but still being blinded by the blizzard, he slowly got to his feet as the figure noticed him and turned around, revealing it was a box-shaped robot with metal clamps for hands, a single wheel for mobility, and a glowing blue optic.
"Wait a minute! You're not dead! YES! Now I can get off this glacier!" The robot cheered. "Claptrap, you're metaphorical ship has finally come in!"
"Oh, my back...my back and my torso..." A familiar voice groaned as Ben turned to see Double-D pick himself up along with Gaige.
"My head...who turned off the sun?" Eddy groaned as he got up next.
"My spleen!" Ed cried as he popped out of a mound of snow along with Krieg.
"THE COLD IS NIPPING AT MY NOSEBUDS!"
"Rolf has experienced death a thousand times and now wakes up in the cold pits of Hell..." Rolf mumbled as he and Salvador awoke next.
"The snow oppresses/a chilling air bites my soul/but we are alive."
Zero and Axton were the next to revive, followed by Maya as the Mann Co. Mercs got up one by one as well.
"What did I miss?" Demoman asked, shaking the snow off his head.
"I did not give you all permission to die, men!" Soldier barked, throwing off a corpse that had been lying on top of him.
"Holy stinking crap! Not only has a metaphorical ship arrived but it's a frickin' CRUISE LINE!" The robot cheered as he looked at the twenty people who had miraculously survived.
"Oh god, don't tell me that's a Claptrap..." Axton groaned.
"Allow me to introduce myself! I am a CL4P-TP General Purpose Robot! But my friends call me Claptrap!" The robot introduced himself, confirming Axton's fears. "Or they would if any of them were still alive...or had even existed in the first place!"
"That's depressing..." Eddy muttered.
"Oh, I got you something!" Claptrap said as he went over to one of the skeletal remains of some unfortunate previous victim of Handsome Jack and then handed it to the group. "Here, take this ECHO device that I totally didn't loot off of one of these corpses! It comes with a Class-12 Heads Up Display, complete with a mini-map!"
"Okay, but who gets it?" Ben asked. "There's like...twenty of us here."
"We already came prepared, son." Engineer said as he and the others showed that they already had ECHO devices, even Krieg.
"Okay, guess I'm the only one who didn't get the memo..." Ben muttered as he accepted the ECHO from Claptrap, seeing holographic images begin appearing, displayed so close to his eyes that only he could see them.
"Now, come come, friends! Let's get you all inside!" Claptrap said as he turned and began leading the way.
"I say we ditch 'em," Axton said. "Claptraps are idiots who try to help and blow up half the planet in the process."
"Would you rather we just wander aimlessly and freeze to death?" Maya pointed out. "I say we don't have much of a choice."
"Yeah, and honestly, I'll take the little annoying robot over death any day," Gaige added.
With everyone in agreement, barring a few exceptions, they followed Claptrap through the glacier.
"Man, this is great! Now that I've met a mighty Vault Hunter, I can finally join the resistance in Sanctuary, take vengeance against Jack for killing my product line, and repair my central processor so I stop thinking out loud! I wonder what it's like to have a belly button."
"It's great for storing gravy!" Ed replied to Claptrap's out-loud thought.
"Ed, please, I thought you moved past that..." Double-D said, looking rather green.
As they continued following Claptrap, the group of twenty Vault Hunters suddenly got a message from an unknown person. Judging by their voice, it was obviously a woman.
"I'll explain everything soon, but know this – you're alive for a reason, and I… am here to help you."
Everyone was silent as Scout awkwardly looked between the group.
"Oooookay, did anybody else see 'dat?"
"You're not the only one, Scout." Spy muttered, trying to process things himself.
The group arrived at what looked like some kind of stronghold. Claptrap got in front of the door and it scanned him before opening up.
"Just a little added security. Gotta keep those Bullymongs at bay, or they'll rip your eyes out!" Claptrap explained as he led everyone inside.
Claptrap's place was filled with random junk, a couch with a rotting corpse on it, a table with deactivated Claptraps displayed as if they were playing Poker, desks covered in oil, and, most importantly, a giant furnace.
Pyro happily got in front of the furnace and held his hands out to it, being joined by Gaige, the Eds, Rolf, and Scout.
"Sorry about the mess. Everything Jack kills, he dumps here." Claptrap apologized. "Bandits, Vault Hunters, Claptrap units… If I sound pleased about this, it's only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I'm actually quite depressed!"
"Sorry to hear that, little fella." Engineer said sympathetically.
"Don't sympathize with it!" Axton hissed.
"Now, the creatures around here are dangerous, none more than this Bullymong named Knuckle Dragger – killed everyone I know," Claptrap warned. "Anywho, I keep a pistol in the cabinet over there for emergencies, but in here, we should be pretty safe!"
"Ever heard of Murphy's Law?" Ben asked.
As if Murphy himself was answering, a roar was heard as a giant creature resembling a four-armed ape with mandibles came down the chimney, grabbing Claptrap before anyone could do anything as he cried in alarm, being held upside-down before the creature ripped out his optic.
"MY EYE! AHHHHHH!"
"Ooooh, that had to hurt!" Eddy winced.
Claptrap was dropped unceremoniously as the creature, which was apparently Knuckle Dragger, escaped the way it came in. Claptrap got up and tried to move but without his eye, he was blind and fell over.
"The gun...the gun in the cabinet."
Pyro made his way over and opened up the cabinet, some money and ammo spilling out as he took out a Dahl Basic Repeater pistol.
"Okay, did anybody's weapons survive the explosion?" Ben asked. "Because I don't think I had any guns with me when I came."
Everyone checked their loadouts. Axton had a Maliwan Panorama rocket launcher and a Dahl Carbine assault rifle, Maya had a Maliwan Vexation SMG and a Hyperion Synergy pistol, Salvador had a Jakobs Rifle and a Bandit Carbene assault rifle, Zer0 had a Hyperion Sniper Rifle and a Vladof TMP pistol, Gaige had a Vladof Vanquisher rocket launcher and a Hyperion Transmurdera SMG, and Krieg had a Bandit Spinigun assault rifle and a Hyperion Presence shotgun.
"All good here! What about you guys?" Gaige asked her four best friends.
Eddy had a Bandit Mashine Gun assault rifle, Double-D had a Hyperion Vision pistol, Ed had a Vladof Hero rocket launcher, and Rolf had a Jakobs Coach Gun.
"How about you, fellas?" Engineer asked his compatriots.
Scout had a Jakobs Scattergun and a Vladof Fighter pistol, Soldier had a Vladof Glory rocket launcher and a Bandit Room Clener shotgun, Pyro had a Hyperion Crowdsourcing shotgun and a flamethrower, Demoman had a grenade launcher and a stickybomb launcher, Heavy had his minigun and a Tediore Sportsman shotgun, Engineer had a Jakobs Quad shotgun and a Tediore Aimshot pistol, Medic had some kind of strange gun that was connected to a backpack that had a red cross on it, Sniper had a Dahl Scout sniper rifle and a Bandit Rokgun SMG, and Spy simply had a rather fancy-looking revolver.
"Guess I'm the odd man out..." Ben muttered as he took the Dahl Basic Repeater pistol.
Everyone then turned back to Claptrap, who was aimlessly bumping into stuff due to having no eye to see.
"Apart from the excruciating pain, this is great! I've been waiting for a mighty Vault Hunter to help me reach Sanctuary! I will be your wise leader, and you shall be my fearsome minions" The robot cackled at the end.
"How long has he been alone in this snowy wasteland?" Maya asked Zer0, who shrugged.
"Time is quite fickle/he must have been here a while/he is clearly mad."
"And we gotta follow him...great." Axton sarcastically commented.
"Like it or not, this little fella has given us orders and we must follow them!" Soldier said.
"Great! Just let me get this door open and we'll hunt ourselves a Bullymong." Claptrap said as he wheeled through a door shaped like him before opening the gate from the other side. "Onward, seeing-eye minions! Let me know if I'm gonna run into anything!"
Ben rolled his eyes and grabbed the funny little robot by his antenna before strapping him to his back.
"Hey! Good idea, minion! Comfortable and practical!"
"Hope he doesn't weigh anything to you." Gaige chuckled.
Ben shook his head. "Nah, it's like carrying an empty backpack to school."
"Even though Knuckle Dragger blindsided me, I know my way around this glacier. I bet we'll find my eye in Frostbite Crevasse." Claptrap said.
With their destination set, the twenty Vault Hunters headed off together in such of the Bullymong. As they walked, they got another call from the mysterious woman.
"Stick close to the robot – he will help you get off this glacier, and into the city of Sanctuary. That is the only place you will be safe."
"Whatever ya say, lass." Demoman said casually as if he was already used to being talked to by some strange ghost lady.
The group continued through the glacier, picking up some stray ammo along the way as well as money which was buried in the ice for some reason.
"It is not as cold as homeland." Heavy noted, not being too bothered by the blizzard.
"How are you not cold, man? It's freezing!" Eddy asked Ben.
"I'm a Siren. I guess I have some kind of internal heater inside me."
Maya nodded. "Ditto for me."
"You are too ninny-limbed, Greedy Ed-Boy!" Rolf laughed. "In Rolf's homeland, we bathed in the icy waters to stave off the tempting succulence of the Great Sea Cucumber!"
"Uh..." Axton began but Gaige and Double-D shook their heads.
"It's Rolf. His home is weird. Don't question it."
"I'M READY FOR A SPINE TINGLER!" Krieg cried for no reason.
Suddenly, Claptrp let out a cry and tucked into himself, confusing the group before growling was heard and they saw Bullymongs arriving in droves to attack.
"AH! I HEAR BULLYMONGS! SIC 'EM, MINIONS!"
"Don't have to tell us twice!" Eddy smirked as he opened fire with his assault rifle, being backed by Axton and Maya.
Zer0 and Sniper both got a good vantage point to snipe some of the approaching Bullymongs. One tried to pounce on Zer0 from behind but he spun around and decapitated it with a swift strike from his katana.
"Bullymongs are also native to Rolf's homeland!" Rolf said as he tackled a Monglet and then cut open its throat with a hunting knife. "Rolf and his Great Nano would hunt them on many an expedition!"
"Sounds like my kind of place!" Salvador grinned as shot down a charging Brat Bullymong.
Soon, all the Bullymongs were dead, allowing the group to continue unhindered. However, midway through their trek, a tremor shook through the glacier, causing everyone to brace themselves.
"AGAIN?! Jack's tearing Pandora apart to find the Vault." Claptrap complained. "They say Jack's drilling operations are causing those earthquakes. That, or yo mama just got outta bed, ZING!"
"Hey, leave my Ma outta this, Juicebox!" Scout snapped, smacking Claptrap with his bat.
"Easy, dude! I'm still carrying him!" Ben said.
"You'll need that funny little robot's help to reach Sanctuary, the last bastion of the resistance against Jack, and the only place you will be truly safe. Get to Sanctuary." The mysterious woman spoke again.
"We know that frauelin. If we didn't have use for him though, I would have torn him apart and seen what makes him so annoying." Medic said with an evil grin.
"Heads up, lads and lasses!" Sniper warned as everyone stopped. "I see Bullymongs down below that crevasse. Let me and the Haiku Master handle 'em."
"Targets are in sight/they will not bother us long/let's kill these bitches."
The two snipers managed to take out all the Bullymongs prowling around down below. When the coast was clear, everyone jumped down and approached a door, only for someone to call on their ECHO channel.
"Hey, kiddos. Jack here – President of Hyperion. Lemme explain how things work here: Vault Hunter shows up. Vault Hunter looks for the new Vault. Vault Hunter gets killed. By me." A smug-sounding voice oozing with charisma spoke. "You see – seeing the problem here? You're all still alive. So, if you could just do me a favor and off yourselves, that'd be great. Thanks, pumpkin."
"Well, that was quite rude." Double-D huffed. "As if he expects us to do that simply because he asked us."
"Tell me about it, Nino. Jack is a Grade-A asshole." Salvador said, patting the boy on the back.
"He likes to present himself as this gentleman but we can already tell who he is." Spy scowled. "An amateur and a fool, that is all."
Claptrap had Ben turn around so that he could open a door in the group's way, allowing them to head upward before Claptrap perked up.
Oh! My eye just switched back on! I see a bunch of brave and strong minions, and an incredibly handsome robot. Which means that whoever has my eye…" He droned off as he realized the horrible implications. "...is very close!"
Sure enough, Knuckle Dragger jumped down with a vicious roar, throwing a tanker at the group, who ducked to avoid it as they readied their weapons.
"This is gonna hurt..." Axton groaned.
"There's twenty of us and only one of him!" Scout smirked. "We can take this bozo!"
Sure enough, the Vault Hunters managed to take down Knuckle Dragger and all the other Bullymongs that showed up. However, Knuckle Dragger managed to bring up some last vestiges of strength and tried to pounce on Gaige, only to seize up and fall over, a knife wedged right in the spinal cord as Spy uncloaked.
"You got blood on my suit." The French Assassin huffed, dusting himself off.
"Here's your eye, little fella!" Engineer said as he took Claptrap's eye from Knuckle Dragger's corpse.
"Great! Now we just gotta find someone to put it back into me. Much as I'm sure you'd like to jam your fists into my skull, optic surgery is best left to professionals." Claptrap said happily. "My pal Hammerlock in Liar's Berg can fix me up! Allons-y!"
"Now see here, fella. I happen to be an Engineer, that means I solve problems." Engineer chuckled as he approached Claptrap, who Ben was still holding on his back. "Not problems like what is beauty, because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy."
Before Claptrap could make an argument, Engineer jammed his optic back into the socket. Taking off his welding glove to reveal a metal prosthetic, which caught Gaige's interest, Engineer proceeded to work a bit on Claptrap to make sure his optic was fixed back in and maybe also fix a few bugs the funny little robot had.
"And a little bit of this and...there we go!"
Ben let Claptrap down, who was now strangely quiet and still. Suddenly, the little robot began flailing around in place as if he was having some kind of seizure before going straight and then falling on his back.
"Aww crap, he's dead!" Scout said sarcastically. "So, uh...anyone wanna go find where this Liar's Berg is or whatever?"
"CLEAR!" Ed shouted as he punched Claptrap with both fists, shocking the robot back to life as his optic glowed green then red then purple then back to its normal blue.
"FRAGTRAP BACK ONLINE, BABY!"
Everyone was completely confused by this as Claptrap began happily wheeling around and doing pelvic thrusts before realizing they were staring.
"Oh, sorry about that, minions! Allow me to explain!" He said. "See, five years ago, Handsome Jack reprogrammed me to be a Vault Hunter so I could join five other guys in finding a Vault on Pandora's moon, Elpis. After that, the six of us went on a journey through my mind because something important was stored there. Once Handsome Jack found what he was looking for, he shot me and then killed my entire product line!"
"Then how are you here now?" Sniper asked.
"Well, as it turns out, a part of my software managed to keep me from permanently shutting down and was rescued by my buddy, Hammerlock! Ever since, I've been living in this frigid hellhole, a humble robot the last of his kind trying to get by in a cold cruel universe."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Double-D said sympathetically.
"But now, your hard-hatted friend here has restored my old Fragtrap program!" Claptrap happily said. "Which means I can join you on your adventure and finally take vengeance on Jack for killing my product line!"
"Are we really gonna let him join us?" Axton asked.
"If he can make himself useful, I don't see why not." Eddy shrugged.
"A Vault Hunting Claptrap. Now I've seen everything." Salvador chuckled.
"THE TOASTER DOESN'T JUST BURN TOAST! IT BURNS PEOPLE!" Krieg shouted.
"Liar's Berg's on the other side of this Hyperion barge. What say we cut through it, chums?" Claptrap suggested as everyone approached the barge, Claptrap standing in front of the door. "HA! This door's Hyperion tech – child's play! Aaaaaaand OPEN!"
"Intruders detected. Locking door."
The door to the barge proceeded to lock and reinforce itself. An awkward silence filled the cold snowy air as Claptrap turned to everyone flatly.
"Well, it was nice knowing ya! I hear getting eaten alive by Bullymongs isn't such a bad way to go."
"Whelp, guess that's it." Spy sighed as he prepared to give his revolver to Scout. "Scout, be a dear and shoot me. Then I shall shoot you in turn."
"Let me get that for ya. Executing Phaseshift." The mysterious woman spoke up, that last word catching Ben and Maya's attention.
"Wait...could this lady be...?"
The door swung open, causing Claptrap to jump in surprise before passing it off as him having done it.
"Yes! I knew I'd get it eventually."
"You're welcome! Perks of being an Artificial Intelligence. I'm networked into almost everything in this planet." The woman spoke. "It's a long way to Sanctuary - please take whatever you need for the journey ahead."
Several loot boxes were in the barge the one in front containing some guns that the group decided to give to Claptrap, consisting of a Hyperion Leverage pistol and a Maliwan Gospel SMG.
"This way to the Southern Shelf, minions! Let's go!" Claptrap cheered as everyone proceeded to leave the barge and make their way to Liar's Berg.
Well, how about that? Claptrap has got his old Fragtrap program from The Pre-Sequel, meaning he'll be able to kill people alongside the Vault Hunters and most importantly...CLIMB UP STAIRS!