For those new readers finding this story for the first time, welcome! I hope to see some of you follow, favorite, and review this story. I am still working on the second half of this chapter and I haven't forgotten about this story, believe me, I want to get it finished. (03/14/2024) Note.
A/N: Daisy POV chapter. I decided that this chapter was too long. So I split the chapter into two parts. This Part 1 is going to be entirely just Daisy's thoughts as she lays in bed the next morning. I enjoy adding personality to Daisy's character since we did not get very much screen time with her in the actual game. Sometimes she has funny, entertaining, and unique thoughts, and she is more interesting as a woman who isn't just a tough as nails survivalist that we see in the game. The only things that Far Cry 3 showed us about Daisy, is that she is a no nonsense hot blonde, likes swimming and won a swimming competition, was Grant's girlfriend, knows how to fix boats, and that she had spoken to Jason about Liza during that nightclub flashback and also was critical of Jason's decision to abandon his friends. But I agree with Katdog161 and what she said in the intro to "Heal My Insanity", it did seem like Jason had been closer to Daisy than his other companions, at least in some sort of way. I want to show the personalities of Jason, Daisy, and Liza outside of the life or death situation that they found themselves in on the Rook Islands. There should be more to the characters than only what we saw in the video game. This chapter and the next chapter are new and not another rewrite from my original version from 2019.
Part 2, will be a flashback from Daisy's POV of the night after Jason had spent the night in her hotel suite. (That was from Katdog161's story) And, I know that we do not see Jason and Citra start a sexual relationship until after Jason rescues his last friend Keith. But I am making their sexual relationship start from the first time that Jason meets Citra. They could have been fucking the entire time for all we know. Plus it shows the difference between the unhealthy sexual dynamic that Jason had with Citra, and the healthy sexual dynamic that he has with Daisy. Citra was manipulative, Daisy is not. And Part 2 of this chapter will be a flashback to the next day after chapter 8 of Katdog161 story "Heal My Insanity." And these two chapters will be my attempt to bridge the gap between Katdog161's story and my own story.
Chapter 11:{Questions And Uncertainty}(Part I)(Updated)
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(The Next Morning)
What filled the mind of Daisy, was a swarm of random thoughts.
Thoughts pertaining to her past life, her present life, and whatever the universe had in store for her future life. She thought of sexual intimacy with Jason, she thought of her family, she thought of religion and otherworldly forces.
And she also had thoughts of the man that she had lost.
Grant.
Inside of Daisy's blonde head, there were truly all kinds of thoughts. A myriad of randomness that could not have made a lick of sense to anyone else.
Daisy laid in their bed. It was morning, and she almost always woke up before Jason. She laid on her side and just stared at Jason's sleeping face. A face that she found conflicting because it looked both goofy and handsome simultaneously.
A couple days ago, Daisy had decided to get the name of her deceased boyfriend, tattooed onto the inside of her left forearm. She would see Grant's name each time that see turned her arm over.
It was her only tattoo. And Daisy found it highly unlikely that she would ever get another tattoo.
Jason had made fun of me when I had taken him with me to get my tattoo. He joked that I was twenty seven and way to old to be getting my first tattoo.
What I hadn't been expecting was this itching sensation around the ink of my new tattoo. But the guy who tattooed me, said that it is normal for the etched skin to be a little sore and itchy for up to a week after getting inked.
Last night, she had the ludicrous idea to take a vacation with Jason back to their former hell of the Rook Islands. Jason had reluctantly agreed with Daisy that he would accompany her on a vacation there, if she was dead set on doing it.
They agreed that it would be a pleasant time to see the Rook Islands in a state of peace and not a war zone of death and calamity.
Jason had also admitted to Daisy this fact last night. Earlier that same morning, when he had met Liza for coffee, he had mistakenly kissed her on the lips.
And this admission caused Daisy to be upset at first. Not severely upset, just befuddled and unsure of what emotions she should be feeling. She knew that Jason and Liza were not having an affair. But it still weirded her out just hearing that they kissed.
It was the first time that he had kissed Liza since breaking up with her two years ago, Jason assured her. And she believed him.
And she had sensed that Liza and Jason had also discussed something else important. But Jason hadn't told her what that topic might have been. And Daisy didn't want to bug Jason by peeling apart his layers until she finds that hidden secret.
No.
Daisy figured that maybe Liza had told Jason something that he did not feel was his right to go blabbing on to Daisy. Whatever it was, Daisy wondered if she would ever find out from Liza herself.
Daisy hadn't been furious or aggravated with Jason to the point of no return. He had explained the context detail by detail of what led up to the kiss, and Daisy immediately forgave him. Daisy knew the story of Jason and what he did to that teenage boy, so she knew just how emotionally fucked up he must have felt.
And Daisy knew Jason's personality. He didn't treat women as things. Jason also didn't ever let his love for Daisy jeopardize his relationship with Liza or Grant. Despite Jason and Daisy having romantic feelings for each other even as they both dated other people, they never engaged in an affair. Daisy knew that it was entirely possible that a small part of Jason will likely always have some miniscule remainder of romantic love for Liza, but on that same note, she knew that Jason would never cheat on her with Liza.
Daisy knew that she and Jason has this… unexplainable and mystical connection with each other, than Jason didn't share with Liza. He has said as much.
He accidentally kissed Liza's mouth. So what? I'm not pissed. Honestly I am not being passive aggressive with him.
Well, I was more thrown off balance than pissed off when he told me.
The simple fact that Jason told me that he'd kissed Liza on the same day that it happened, and didn't try and hide it, let's me know that he is a good man.
A man with a damaged mind and fractured sanity, but a good and honest man. Jason is a man that would not ever choose to intentionally harm those that he loves.
Right?
Of course I'm right. He is a hero after all.
Well, he still hasn't been honest about whatever this secret is that he won't share with me is. But, he did promise to tell me within a month. So I just have to let time play out.
I don't hold any resentment for Liza either. She is still one of my closest friends. And I love her for being a good buddy and for being there for Jason. He desperately needs people that he trusts to talk to, since he refuses to see a therapist.
Before our tragic vacation, Liza and myself were not as close as sisters or the best of friends. But we grew close in a short month and a half timespan as we bonded in the cave that we hid out in.
It was Jason, Liza's then boyfriend, that I was closest to after Grant. In out mutual friend circle, Jason was the one that I felt the most familiar with. Despite the two of us not knowing each other for a long time, only about a year or close to that, we developed this bond that I didn't feel to Liza, Keith, Riley, Oliver, or any others that we hung out with at parties or whatever weekend gathering we attended.
Growing up, I was never someone who had that one best friend. The typical best friend that comes to mind when that term is used. I had close friends all throughout my lifetime. None however, I viewed as my single best friend.
That's why I have always thought of Jason as my bestie. And we hadn't known each other for our whole lives like most pairs of best buddies. The first time that I had called him my best friend out loud, was on that day when he came to check up on me while I was hungover in Bangkok.
Daisy didn't know the proper etiquette that two best friends shared. And before Jason moved into her house, Daisy did not interact with Jason on a daily basis. The two texted often back and forth in short conversations. Never conversations that meant anything serious or sexually inappropriate.
Nothing involving sexual intimacy had ever happened between the two of them before that first time that Jason had sex with her. It was an unwilling rape that the pirates had forced Jason to commit on Daisy by threatening death on them both if Jason had not complied. But that was still the first time that any type of sex or stuff of that nature had occurred between them.
The texting fun that Jason and Daisy would have prior to their romantic relationship, was nothing more than silly jokes or uplifting comments that either one made to the opposite participant.
Sometimes Jason would send Daisy a text message complaining about something ridiculous that happened to him that day. And Daisy would do the same.
Daisy had known that Grant knew that she and his brother, Jason, liked texting each other. And to Daisy, Grant had never openly disapproved or had been suspicious that they were having an affair. He never seemed to mind that his girlfriend was constantly texting his brother.
Sometimes Grant would ask her what stupid thing that Jason had sent in a text. The first few times that Grant had asked this, Daisy had wondered out loud to him how he knew that it was Jason texting her. Grant would always answer along the lines of him noticing Daisy's smirk when she'd opened her phone.
The two friends simply had a blast sending each other goofy texts.
I am sure that Jason and Liza have a relationship similar to the one that Jason and I used to have before we fell in love. Those two are just friends.
Jason had assured me that he was the one who initiated the kiss, and not her.
Liza was probably as stunned and surprised that Jason had kissed, as Jason was himself.
And if Jason and Liza were having an affair involving sex in seclusion to avoid suspicion, I would have noticed that by now. That would have be impossible for him to hide from me. And Liza isn't the kind of woman that would be easily tempted into sex with Jason just because of the two of them being former sexual partners.
Life is not a television show. Most people have self control. Liza definitely has enough self control to not tempt Jason to fuck her out of the blue. Liza and I were able to remain friends even after me and Jason began dating.
The awkwardness between this love triangle of the three of us was always non-existent. Not like a TV show. Characters in those shows seem to always be so hung up on their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. Probably just written in to add drama to the show.
Jealously, revenge, passive aggressiveness, none of those emotions have manifested between the three of us. Well, four of us, including Menelik.
The relationship that I have with Liza is not what most people would think of as normal. Being friends with your current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend sound like a convoluted plot to a movie and not reality.
What's that old saying? Truth is stranger than fiction? That's the one!
It was just a tiny bit awkward for the first few occasions that I had saw Liza in person. But she also quickly started a brand new relationship with somebody new very shortly after we arrived back to America.
And I really like Menelik. He is awesome!
Not just because of his celebrity looks. But he is a really sweet man. His personality is similar to Liza's. Almost as if they both share the same soul. Or maybe Liza has one half and Menelik has the other half of that mutually shared soul.
Only real noticeable difference between Liza and Menelik's personalities, is that Liza is not as quick witted and jovial as Menelik. Not to say that Liza is a bore or always completely serious. Liza can be fun.
However, Menelik is more… kind of like me. Silly and light hearted. Which somebody would assume that just because he is a lawyer, that he should have this serious personality made up of impenetrable iron walls and sharp corners. But he really isn't. Menelik likely spends so much time grilling people as a lawyer, that he doesn't want to take that personality home with him.
Who wants to live their life without teasing, clowning around, or being spontaneously goofy?
As much as they were alike, Daisy didn't have the smallest of lustful feelings for Menelik. But she often wondered, if she had grown up in an alternate timeline, she might have fallen in love with Menelik.
Menelik was a hot and handsome man in Daisy's eyes, but he wasn't Jason. And Daisy never fantasized sexually about Menelik. Not once.
Daisy also thought of some women as hot and sexy. Not in a bisexual way. But she would assume that if she was bisexual or a lesbian, then Daisy would have found them to be irresistibly sexy.
And although she knew that most dudes wouldn't ever mention this to anyone under any circumstances, Daisy was certain that heterosexual men also can view other guys hot. It is just human nature to find good looking people to be attractive on a sexual level.
So, she had just figured that Jason had gotten caught up in a slurry of mixed emotions when he'd gotten coffee with Liza. Jason probably was experiencing nostalgia from his time as Liza's boyfriend, as well as the fact that Liza is gorgeous. Not to mention the story that he had told her. A tragic tale indeed.
That poor boy. Jason didn't mean to kill that kid. An understandable accident that occurred during a gunfight. The fog of war.
Daisy knew that Liza would never have tempted Jason with sex. But she couldn't understand why after so much time had passed after they had broken up, why Jason randomly kissed Liza on the lips.
Although… Jason has been sexually tempted by hot and sexy women before. That witch Citra was able to get Jason to blindly follow her after she offered her body up like a bargaining piece.
No. That isn't Liza.
Citra was a psycho, manipulative bitch.
Liza is a friend, and she doesn't have some evil scheme planned for Jason like Citra did. Citra only used Jason for her own goal of clutching power.
If Jason had not told me last night that he kissed Liza, I am sure that Liza would have told me in person a couple days from now. She is the honest type of person that would tell me straight.
How weird life is.
Both me and Jason have found that it is entirely possible to be friends with his ex-girlfriend.
Yesterday night, Jason and Daisy had also discussed marriage.
But ultimately, the two mature adults decided to put a pin in that discussion for the time being. And not to jump into a marriage just yet, or possibly ever.
What would the two of us gain from marriage? My last name would change from Lee, to Brody. That's about the only difference that marriage would make.
Daisy then thought about something that she had never, in the whole stretch of time dating Jason, had once considered.
Having a child. Would I ever want to have a little baby with Jason?
The concept had not ever crossed my mind.
Does it make me a bad woman if I choose not to have children? Isn't bearing children the ultimate goal of a relationship between a man and woman that love each other?
Lots of women and couples decide to never have children.
Maybe that is how I want to live my life.
I don't know.
My body will look different after having a baby. I will have flab on my abdomen and my butt and thighs will get all chubby. But that is the price to having children that only women can ever understand.
Some women still look beautiful after having children. Even after a couple months after giving birth. I have seen women pushing big eyed bundles of joy in strollers down the sidewalks of Santa Monica and the rest of Los Angeles. Their husbands or boyfriend's still like putting their hands on their woman's body. That much I have noticed.
Jason would never tell me that I am ugly after giving birth. As obsessed as he is with my body, it is doubtful that he would ever lose sexual interest in me.
By the time that I reach thirty three, I will likely have already made up my mind regarding bearing children. I definitely want to have a baby before thirty five.
But I honestly don't see kids in the mix.
My life with Jason and only Jason is all that I need. And that life is boring, but pretty fantastic.
We don't need any more high stakes adventuring. We've had our fill of adventure, thank you very much.
But I have this skin scratching feeling that whatever this so called secret is, had to have been something that happened on our so called adventure.
Adventure… what the hell is an adventure?
Is an adventure when your boyfriend gets murdered and your best friend goes on some revenge filled rampage?
If that is what an adventure is… then fuck adventures.
Relieved, Daisy had been relieved when Jason promised to finally admit to Daisy, what his secret was. The secret that he hasn't been able to bring himself to tell her.
He said, within the timespan of one month, he will have built up the courage. And that's the best deal that I am getting. My mind has been racing everyday just trying my best to figure out what the hell this secret could be, and why it is so bad that Jason doesn't want to tell me.
But perhaps, I understand Jason's hesitancy. For the last two years, he hasn't returned to being the same man that was once my best friend. As much as I believe that he is buried underneath Jason's scars and rough exterior, my best friend is still trapped.
The two of us with both be thirty years old in just a few, ever encroaching years. The two of us getting older, maybe Jason won't go back to his former life of being clownish, exciting, and filled with energy.
Is that just the reality of aging? We all get less fun the older we get?
I know that my bikini wearing days won't last forever, and I will not be that girl that every guy says looks hot.
But beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Daisy never was oblivious to her beauty. She knew that she was very attractive and had a pretty face.
Her good looks were not what Daisy relied on throughout her life to get ahead.
Daisy's opinion on attractiveness were as such…
Daisy found it very shallow that a female would use her advantage of attractiveness to earn favors from men in reference to her education, employment, or whatever career in life that she chose. Daisy never pressed her genetically fortune advantages of her beauty, to advance her life at the expense of her own merits.
And Daisy couldn't ever prevent herself from staring at couples where the duo was a makeup of two people that were so diametrically opposite to their respective partner. One plain or what other people would call ugly partner. And a hot and beautiful partner.
She never jumped to conclusions or judged those uncommon looking couples. But her human curiosity overwhelmed her sense of staring, despite what her mom had always told her and her sister about how impolite it is to stare at people.
Daisy and Jason didn't go on very many dates in the conventional way of using that word. Once two people were hunkered down together in a committed relationship, Daisy did not see the purpose in traveling to locations outside of one's house in order to spend time with their lover.
They did go outside the house every now and again. Sometimes to restaurants, or walks on beaches, or even to that same coffee shop that Jason and Liza liked to meet up at.
But a more sedentary life of being boring by sitting on the couch and watching television, was what defined the romance between Jason and Daisy. And Daisy enjoyed doing three things with Jason more than anything. Watching TV, having Jason massage her feet as she played Xbox, and the amazing sex that Jason was more than capable of preforming on her.
She knew that Jason was the one for her.
My boobs are not huge, my ass is a little flat, and I don't have a hourglass figure type of traditional womanly body, the full figured woman that has had her body imitated, emulated, and sculpted throughout human history. Whether in paintings or sculptures.
When I was a little girl, I used to love read books about art. I wasn't put off or grossed out by nudity in art, unlike most other children. Even before I hit puberty, nudity of both females and males did not appear sexual or make me uncomfortable.
Natural beauty of having a human stripped down to nothing but their purest form. That was the way that they appeared in my eyes. It's rare to find any art from humanity's past that is a depiction of sex. No graphically detailed paintings of men having their erect extremity sliding into a lady's bulged out vulvas.
Not to say that type of erotic art is unheard off. It exists, but is not common. At least not in any books containing art that I've ever seen.
This might explain my proclivity to be completely nude around Jason. Sleeping nude, changing or removing clothing, having Jason join me as I shower. None of this makes me feel uncomfortable or awkward in any way.
Even when I am alone in my nakedness as we fall asleep together, it makes me feel relaxed. Often, Jason accompanies me in my naked sleeping adventures. I enjoy the tranquility of both of us having the blanket covering our completely nude bodies.
Do I view sleeping naked next to Jason as some subconscious form of sexual intimacy?
Probably.
But the sexual aspect is just a pleasant byproduct. The love we have for each other does not just involve the primitive sexual attraction that we have. But something more.
Jason usually sleeps naked with me.
But sometimes he decides to be a boring stick in the mud and keep his boxers on.
Being nude in front of total strangers would almost certainly make me uncomfortable. But it is different with Jason.
His brother also never made me feel awkward when I would sleep naked in bed with him. Grant never lived with me. He spent many nights at my house. But never moved in with me to make my home his permanent residence. Grant liked sleeping in a white t-shirt and his flannel boxers while I would usually lay nude next to him.
Not always. Some nights I just felt like wearing soft cotton pajama pants without any underwear and a t-shirt without a bra.
The nights that Grant did not sleep in my bed, I often just slept wearing My underwear. I don't get cold easily. But even when I slept in my home all alone, I liked being naked in my own bed.
And I definitely don't get chilly whenever I have a handsome man snuggling with me.
Seeing so much nudity in art at a young age, must have inoculated me against the exclusively sexual aspects of nakedness. My brain does not correlate nudity with sex only.
There is a raw mystique and beauty with people in the nude. Like an Adam and Eve sort of thing.
Seeing those images of nude curvy and full figured ladies in various art mediums… that's where I got the idea of how society believes women are supposed to look.
Neither Grant or Jason have ever suggested in the slightest that they didn't like my slender body.
I have gone as far as to flat out ask Jason if he thinks that I am too skinny. Two days ago, I had asked him about his opinions on my body. We had been sitting on the couch watching a stupid zombie movie when we engaged in this conversation
This is how I remember that conversation going.
I had asked. "Got a question for you dummy. Am I too skinny?"
Jason had answered. "You are not a stick figure. And no, I do not consider you to be just a skin and bones girlfriend. And I don't think of you as being too skinny. Not like an anorexic or bulimic model that look like they are walking skeletons. You may not be as thick as some women, but I have not ever seen you as a skeleton. You have enough meat on your figure in the places that matter."
I had responded with. "What about my boobies?"
Jason had tilted in my direction and proceeded to put one hand on each of my boobs. Giving them a very gentle squeeze that felt more like a professional massage than anything arousing or sexual.
His gentle squeezing of my boobs caused me to purr involuntarily. I hummed with content, like waking up after a long sleep and stretching out my stiff legs.
He had only squeezed the twins for a few nice seconds. Then removed his hands and turned back to the television.
All the while I continued to stare in awe at the man that I loved both as my lover, and my paramour.
Jason then had said. "Boobies? What are you? Twelve years old?"
Which had made me laugh.
My response had been. "Seriously though. My bra size is not a perfect fit, but they do fall between an A-cup and a B-cup. I actually own both sizes of bras. So what do you think now, knowing that I have mosquito bite breasts?"
Jason had chuckled at that mosquito bite joke.
Jason had answered. "Daisy… I have never ever seen a single woman on this entire planet that has a perfect body. Some chicks have humongous boobs, but a flat ass. Some have a huge ass but small tits. Some ladies have both huge asses and huge boobs, but then that is offset by their areolas looking like large salami slices. Or maybe they have slightly crooked teeth. Or wide thigh gaps. No human can have perfect proportions throughout their entire body. But to answer your question regarding your boobs. They wouldn't matter one bit to me how they look. You are the perfect woman, my best friend. Do you think that I would have been in love with you for such a long time, if I found you hideous?"
I had sarcastically said. "Aww! Aren't you so sweet? You know… that crack that you made about salami nipples, was… that a reference to Liza?"
He had asked. "How would you know what Liza's nipples look like?"
I had explained. "Well… when It was just me and her living in the cave under Dr. Earnhardt's house, Liza would sometimes take off her clothes and get into the salty pool of water in the cave for a rudimentary bathing. I joined her once, but I usually got into the cave water alone. This was before Oliver and Keith were there with us. It would have been impossible to get naked in front of them and be assured that they wouldn't be watching us. Even if we would have made Oliver promise not to turn around, we knew that he still would have."
Jason had asked. "What about Keith? Weren't you all worried that he would try and take a peek at you good looking ladies just like Oliver would have?"
I had answered. "Keith mostly stayed in his tent after you had brought him back to us. I know that the man that held him captive most have done some terrible things to him, but I never got the courage to ask for specifics."
Jason had said. "It wasn't anything good. That's all that I want to say about what he went through. But anyway, can we get back on the topic of Liza's nipples? I was enjoying that conversation."
That's when I'd responded. "You filthy minded man! Of course you want to keep talking about Liza's nipples!"
Jason had responded in good strides. "Guilty."
That's when I had said. "Yeah… she does kind of have large areolas. She is still so gorgeous though. And weird nipples aren't a turn off for me anyway. Personality is the main thing that I find sexy."
I had scoffed. "Wow! You are so sophisticated. But that was so corny. Being attracted to personalities. You don't need to pretend around me, I know that men care about hotness also. Don't deny it."
I then had given him a kiss on his cheek. His facial hair was similar to barbed wire, but I liked the way he looks with his short facial scrub.
Jason had said. "Of course Liza is smoking hot. That is why I had hit on her the very first time that I saw her in lone at our coffee store. Those big brown eyes and dark brown hair that she likes to bundle up behind her head… that made it impossible not to ask her out on a date. Plus, her big boobs were just a plus!"
I had responded with banter. "You're lucky that I am your girlfriend. All this praise of your ex-girlfriend's hotness and her big boobs, and even her nipples… that my dear Jason, would have gotten you slapped by any other woman than me."
He had responded. "I know. That's why I knew that I could get away with talking about another woman's tits in front of you."
Then I had asked. "So do you think that I look like a perfect specimen? Or is there some things that you think would be improvements to my body?
Jason had replied. "First you tell me what you would have improved with my own body. Then I'll tell you what I would like to be different on your body."
That's when I had to think on the fly. What would I change about Jason's body if I had that life altering power at my fingertips?
I jokingly responded. "Well… your penis is a sort of on the small side."
I don't actually find his penis to be small in the slightest. I just wanted to get a rise out of him.
Grant's penis was pretty big, and so is Jason's. But my frame of reference isn't all that wide when comparing men's genitals. I have not had sex with that many different men in my lifetime.
Jason had quipped back. "That's only when I'm cold. Or it isn't hard."
I found that funny, and responded. "Okay then… tell me exactly how big you are when you're erect. Does nine inches sound like the correct measurement?"
Jason had scoffed. "Nine inches?! What am I? A horse?"
I had chuckled.
No way his dick is nine inches. Still funny to try and make him uncomfortable with sexual innuendo. The little that we discuss sex now, is always so casual. As if we are having conversations about the weather or our favorite foods.
Wanting to continue this ridiculousness, I replied. "So what then? Four inches?"
Jason responded with his goofy behavior. "Four inches? You have wounded me my Daisy. My pride will never be restored. But for your information, I will have you know, that my penis is a respectable six inches at peak hardness."
I had responded. "I guess that I'll have to take your word for it. So I will go along with your given measurement of six inches. But aren't you forgetting something? You were going to say what you would like improved on my body."
He had responded. "Can't think of anything."
I replied with. "Oh no, you're not getting off that easy."
Jason then had responded in a way that I found very sweet, as well as genuine. A little bit weird. But sweet nonetheless
He'd said. "I don't find any part of your body to be ugly or worth changing. Your eyes are so gorgeous. And your blonde hair feels perfect in my hands whenever my fingers glide through it. I love massaging your feet as you play your video games. The bottoms feet are perfectly balanced simply because they are not rock hard, but also, not baby soft. Which shows me that you are a lady that keeps her skin soft, but also isn't afraid to walk around barefooted, even over rough surfaces. The way that your nipples get hard and press into my chest whenever you get horny… indescribably amazing."
Then we had both leaned in and kissed. As if we knew what the other one was thinking through telepathy.
I had responded. "Okay… you're doing good… what other compliments can you give me?"
He had answered. "Well… your nose is kind of cute. You know that I often wake up randomly in the middle of sleeping. And often, the sound of your snoring coming from your cute nose, help me drift off to sleep."
That I found funny. And I even giggled for a brief few seconds.
I had said. "What a weirdo you are Jason. No other guy would love to listen to their girlfriend snoring. Especially to help them fall asleep. Continue on with your praises please."
My crazy boyfriend had responded. "As if the fact that I am a weirdo has ever turned you off. Would you rather I start wearing a business suit and shave off my facial hair completely? Maybe you would like me to quit my hardware store job and go to college to get a degree in engineering. Then I would be a complete square."
I had responded. "At least you be making a crap ton of money as an engineer. That way I could give you puppy dog eyes every time that I wanted you to buy me something expensive and luxurious. Maybe even pay for a breast enlargement and butt enlargement for me."
Jason had responded. "But if you had fake tits, and a fake bouncy ass, you wouldn't be my Daisy. Plus you already have a cute booty. Every part of you is cute to me."
I wanted this conversation to keep going.
Then I had asked. "Okay… so you think that my nose is cute. Any more unusual and parts of my body that you find cute. And I said unusual, so don't give me a duh answer, like my vagina."
Jason had answered. "Well that is my favorite part obviously. But your ears are cute. So is your bellybutton. And… well…"
I had jumped in. "Well… what? Spit it out dummy!"
He had sheepishly responded. "Okay this is odd, but a couple days ago, the same day that we went to the beach with Liza and Menelik, and you got your tattoo… I looked at your backside as you stretched down and touched your toes. Then I saw your… pink… you know… your asshole… and I found it to be another cute addition to your body."
That, I had found odd.
I had responded with an. "Huh."
Jason had said. "I told you that it was odd. Don't belittle me because you just happen to be blessed with a gorgeous body. "
Despite being gross, that butthole compliment still made me involuntarily grin.
Then I had giggled.
I couldn't help but take this whole conversation unserious. But still a serious conversation.
If that makes sense in the slightest.
Jason's ability to make me smile and laugh are unexplainable. The combination of his ridiculousness, artificial naivety, and good nature, just makes my days worth while.
I had scoffed and responded. "Really? That is very creepy that you found my anus to be sexy. But it is still sweet to hear you compliment me. Even in a gross way. I may need to see your own butthole sometime. Maybe it is cute like mine."
Jason had replied. "I can't see my own anus, but I assume that it isn't as cute as yours."
I had giggled. "Of course it isn't as cute as mine! So let me get this straight. My boyfriend finds noses and buttholes to be cute and attractive?"
Jason responded. "Oh no Daisy. Don't misinterpret my words and twist them around. I said that I find your nose and asshole to be cute."
I had sarcastically responded. "Okay then… how is that different to liking every other cute looking noses and buttholes?
He had responded perfectly. "Because, you are the only person that has a cute butthole."
I had said. "What about other cute noses? Don't other people have cute noses as well?
He had jokingly responded. "Well… yes, other people do have cute noses, but only you have a cute anus."
I had leaned in and kissed him on his cheek. "Aww! You are just so sweet. I've never had someone compliment my butthole before! Thank you so much, my big dumb boyfriend."
I could not resist laughing.
He had snapped back with good humor. "Hey! You asked. That was complete and total honesty from me. I wasn't going to lie. And you must have totally forgotten that I had also told you that you're bellybutton is cute."
I had told him. "There is something about you Jason… you are just so unusual. But I think that I'll keep you. Other women wouldn't let you stay with them like I do. You're like a lost little puppy."
Jason had turned towards me. "I would be lost without you. And being here with you… talking about stupid topics like nose and anus cuteness… and how you always know how to make life easy and perfect… I know that I made the right choice."
I knew what choice he was talking about. I could literally sense his thoughts. But I wanted him to clarify.
I had asked. "The choice to save your friends? That same choice that meant that you rejected Citra?"
Jason had leaned in to slowly kiss me.
When our lips had twisted together, that was all the confirmation required. It was his way of saying yes.
I closed my eyes as we kissed for what had to be an entire minute. But my eyes had reopened when Jason gradually pulled away from my lips.
Jason had said. "I'd make that same choice every time. Citra manipulated me into believing that I was in love with her. The terror that saw in Liza's eyes… it was like she didn't even recognize the man that was her boyfriend. That's when I knew… Citra had transformed me into a monster. So I thought of Grant. He would have disowned me as his brother if I would have killed you all. He would have told me that you guys didn't deserve to have slaughtered like cattle. Liza was to pure to have her throat slit… I guess that I was kind of still her boyfriend… slit her neck open. I had told Citra once before that Liza was the other woman that hindered me from being with her. I lied. You were that woman that stole my heart, but I was selfish and didn't want Citra to hurt you in any way. I regret throwing Liza to the wolves like I did. I do not want the life that she had planned for me, if that meant that you weren't in it."
I had responded. "After all of that… I don't know how to respond other than with me saying that I love you so much."
We both kissed again for a briefly beautiful moment.
His words were genuine. But I also knew that Jason had finally found what he had been searching for in his life. Jason must have felt that he'd discovered his destiny by being a warrior.
And I am no fool. Part of Jason misses that bloodlust and violence that he had grown so accustomed to.
I have killed before also. Only once. I had stabbed the pirate Jay to death that day that Jason had gotten us to safety after we escaped from that pirate ship.
I killed that man to save Jason. No sort of bloodlust surged through my veins after that man died from that knife clutched in my hand.
So… I will never understand this bloodlust that Jason has tried to explain to me. Several times, Jason has done his absolute best to describe the enjoyment that he got from killing. And I did my best to keep an open mind and attempt to understand him.
But I… couldn't. Not for lack of trying, but for a lack of comprehension.
Jason had ended the conversation by saying. "I Love you too."
We both laughed, then continued watching or zombie movie as we snuggled up together. Sharing love. No more talk of cute body parts that night.
Jason did give my nose a kiss though during the middle of the movie. Apparently, I have a cute nose, which was no doubt the reason that my excellent, if not unusual boyfriend, couldn't help but give it a kiss.
It was a silly conversation indeed. Cute noses, bellybuttons, and buttholes, oh my!
Daisy smiled and turned her face into the pillow. Stopping herself from bursting out in laughter.
But Jason and I speak in our own language. If someone would have witnessed the two of us conversing about the cuteness of buttholes, they would have considered us messed up in the head. We can speak to each other however we like in our own home.
We have a judgment free house. In this house, all jokes are permitted. I even allow Jason to make fun of me. But our unspoken understanding is that humor at someone else's expense, goes both ways. Jason isn't allowed to stop me making fun of him, and I can't make him not make a joke about me either.
This is what is so unique about our love and friendship. Jason and I can make any conversation humorous.
I like my body. After all, it is the only one that I got. So I might as well consider my body to be beautiful.
Even if Jason dislikes this idea, I am going to insist that once we both turn thirty, we will go on long walks and exercise to keep our youthful twenty something bodies even after we aren't in that age group any longer.
What lady wants her lover to be a boring and barely moving blob during sex? Certainly not me. We need to both be as flexible and limber as physically possible for two human beings.
What if we want to test run a acrobatic like sex position? Like some form of me being upside-down or on one of us doing a headstand?
Daisy gave it her all to not burst out in laughter at her crazy pseudo-sex fantasy. She found it hilarious to think of doing gymnastics during intercourse.
But something that Daisy did like that Jason did to her, was when she lay with a crooked back on the couch or on their bed with her legs swung way back. Her body resembling a human "W".
As a human "W", Jason would serve Daisy as she laid looking like the most expensive and tasteful meal that money could buy. That's when Jason would pleasure her clitoris with his warm tongue.
Sometimes the pair of lovebirds wouldn't even engage in traditional vaginal penetration. Many times in their boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, their night of sex ended in Daisy experiencing a mind blowing orgasm. A stretched out moment of pure bliss with an orgasm lasting probably close to ten minutes, maybe more.
And after Daisy's nirvana of cumming, the horny couple would then curl up together and drift away to sleep. Jason not even penetrating her pussy to achieve his own orgasm and shooting his white goo inside of her.
Daisy never saw Jason pleasure himself with masturbation or asking Daisy to give him a handjob or blowjob. He simply went to sleep without having an ejaculation caused by any form of sexual stimulation.
Maybe I should offer to give Jason a blowjob.
Am I unusual for being a twenty-seven year old woman and never once have gone through the experience of giving a man oral sex?
Maybe someday I will try giving him oral sex.
And I know Jason's kryptonite. I am his kryptonite.
Jason would never refuse me if I had decided that will start exercising to stay fit.
He doesn't ever refuse me. No matter what I suggest, he doesn't ever say "no" to me. So he may peddle about ant tiptoe around agreeing with me, but he always, always ends up saying "yes" to me.
Jason… we are never growing old. We will be healthy and fit even in our golden years.
Her next thoughts turned to the day and age in which she was born.
Us people born in the 1980s won't have grown up with all the new technologies that these kids born in the 1990s and later, will have had access to.
I can remember talking to school friends on the landline home phone. Now, kids have smart phones and social media.
What will the world of social media look like in a decade from now?
It's not like I don't know how to keep up with the modern trends, I'm not that old yet. Maybe I am just acting older than I really am.
I couldn't have ever imagined that kids and young adults would be clicking pornographic pictures of themselves and sending them out over their phones.
Daisy smirked as she imagined how someone growing up in the late 1990s or early 2000s would have ever sent nudes to their adolescent crush or their college lover.
They would have had to mail an envelope containing explicit photography. Man, that sounds nuts! Sending an actual envelope through the mail service.
Sexting is something that is becoming increasingly popular with teens and the early twenties crowd. We didn't have anyway of send nude pictures of ourselves over the phone when I was their age.
What would Jason think, if one day out of the blue, I texted him a picture of myself completely naked? Or a picture of my lower half, flashing my vagina and my butthole? Isn't that what guys like to stare at with googly bug eyes?
Or do most guys like pictures of boobies more than pussies and buttholes?
Wouldn't it be downright hilarious if I sexted Jason just a picture of my bellybutton? He has said before that I do in fact have a cute bellybutton.
Maybe one day I should get him all excited by telling him that later in the day, I will send him a sexy picture of myself. Imagine his surprise at receiving a picture of me on his phone, only to just be an image of my abdomen and cute bellybutton!
But… where is the intimacy in pictures?
The most enjoyment that I get out of lovemaking, is kissing Jason while he is inside of me. No to mention the intimate kissing and caressing before and after sex.
And I believe that Jason finds the intimacy to be the most enjoyable part as well. I'd be super bummed if he didn't, since he is just oh so good at kissing and cuddling.
Would it be better if the picture that I clicked of my nude body, be of me on my knees showing my butt? Or laying on my back so that my boobs and pussy are in full view?
I find it funny, picturing Jason's reaction to getting a text message from me while he is at work, only to open it up to discover a pornographic picture of myself.
Doubt that I will ever do something that brazen. It's not because I wouldn't trust Jason not to show that picture to anyone, I know that he wouldn't, I'm just not that type of gal.
What people do sexually in their own homes doesn't bother me. I am not a morality crusader, they are grown adults, so they are allowed to have sex however they want.
But that doesn't mean that I want to have detailed conversations about their sex lives.
I don't watch porn at all. Never have. But I did Google porn a couple times throughout my life just to see it, out of pure curiosity, which isn't abnormal, I don't believe. Curiosity about porn shouldn't be a ridiculous notion for a human being.
Sometimes it is interesting to view sexuality from the male centric point of view of pornography.
I never masturbated to it. Porn is directed towards an almost entirely male audience.
In porn, there's no love.
The little bit of internet pornography that I have watched, I haven't ever had the interest to sit and watch the full video. So I skim and skip through the video randomly.
Usually the hunky stud with have the woman get down on her knees at the very end right before he ejaculates. The woman always willing puts his penis in her mouth until he reaches peak sexual stimulation. He'll then shoot his semen in full view of the camera.
And every porno seems to follow that same basic plot.
The girl begins by giving the man a blowjob, then they move on to penetration, then finally the guy has his orgasm all over the woman's face or directly into her mouth.
So ridiculous.
These horny teenage boys that are watching porn, are getting a immersed in sex without the understanding of romance and intimacy.
Jason has told me that he watched porn when he was a teen. Apparently, he had a pornographic DVD that he watched whenever he could find the time to be alone. It's odd that I know this about him.
The conversation in which he disclosed this fact about his life, I cannot recall how we got onto the subject of porn and masturbation. But I do remember giggling a little bit when he told me that he had a hidden porno in one of his drawers in his room, and that he would watch it on his DVD player that was hooked up to his television in his room.
I asked Jason if any of his family ever walked in on him masturbating.
He said that one time his mom almost caught him. I chuckled then when he told me this. As I had imagined his mom Amanda, catching her son in that awkward act, I couldn't help but laugh. And as I laid in Jason's arms on our couch as we watched a low budget zombie movie, he chuckled along with me.
He then had asked me If I ever had masturbated.
I then responded with "duh".
When Jason wanted specifics, I embarrassingly told him about the very first time that I had pleasured my myself.
Jason laughed at me when I told the embarrassing in hindsight story of masturbating to a picture of a nude man from one of my art books.
He was hysterical in his mocking laughter. So I tried to justify my actions be telling him that I didn't have porn like he did.
So I decided then and there that his mockery of me could not go unpunished. And the only just punishment, was for me to kiss him on the lips. Which led to more kissing, and then something more than just kissing.
At that point in our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, we had made love so many times that it became a casual norm to joke about sex.
In the little bit of porn that I've seen, there is no cuddling, no kissing, no telling their partner how much they love them.
The women in porn probably don't even experience an orgasm.
Jason adores me after sex. He hugs and squeezes me in a cuddling embrace. Just because he has finished having his orgasm, doesn't make him any less interested in staying in bed with me. Kissing me and holding me in his strong arms.
But besides watching a few minutes of various porn videos, I did see some websites that had selfies of girls snapping pics of themselves topless or nude. Sometimes they turned their phone in their hand and took pictures of themselves, other times they took a picture of the mirror in front of them to get the widest possible angle of their suggestive sexualized bodies.
Even if there was sexting when I was a few years younger, I would not have taken part in the sexting cultural phenomenon.
Pretty much all of my other friends in high school had lost their virginity before they were sixteen. I was the abnormal one, as I didn't have sex for the first time until I was eighteen.
I guess… I was a late bloomer in reference to my sexuality.
Masturbation for me, was also not a regular occurrence. Well, exactly how often does a normal person usually masturbate? I guess it depends who you ask.
My middle school and high school years were spent being a shy and dorky girl. The type of quiet introverted teen that didn't like big groups of people.
I got along with everyone, no bullies, but not a whole lot of close friends. Only about six people were who I considered to my closest friends.
Most of my hobbies included reading fiction and sci-fi fantasy books, or the occasional history or art book. I still liked watching cartoons even as I got older.
Looking back, I am unsure of exactly when I became more extroverted. Probably right after I graduated high school. After high school, I became a party girl.
Well, a tame and collected party girl. The type of girl that didn't want to remembered as a cock sucking slut, who would offer her body up to whatever guy propositioned her with sex.
Never have I, or will I ever, have sex with a random hookup at a party.
The only time that I have gotten crazy and blackout drunk at a party scene, was that night in that Bangkok nightclub. It is all a blur to me, but Jason told me that I was dancing on top of the platform like a stripper.
Fortunately, Jason was the only one that had witnessed me acting like a fool. Apparently, the way that he tells the story, I had slipped and almost fell to the floor but Jason caught me before I landed face first into the floor.
Daisy looked at Jason's closed eyes and imagined their lives together, fifty years from now.
And she hoped that after they both died, that they would spend their afterlives together. That if Jason died before her, he would be there waiting for her at heaven's doors. Or vice versa, if she died before him, she would be greeting Jason's soul with open arms.
My biggest fear is simply getting older. Just getting old and boring, and not necessarily death. No use in fearing my eventual death.
I know that I will die someday, and while I don't welcome death, I recognize how foolish it is to try and deny the great equalizer of death, that comes for everyone, no matter their station in life.
Rich and poor, nice and mean, loving and hateful, death is inevitable for each one of us.
When I die, will my spirit live on? Breaking through space and time to live on in an eternal state?
Will Jason go to the same afterlife that I will? Will everybody go to the same place when they die, regardless of how evil or noble their actions were in their lifetime?
Will Grant be there?
Awkward…
My dead boyfriend and my current boyfriend, who both happen to be brothers, living out eternity in the same afterlife…
Would Grant understand if I am head over heels in love with Jason?
Daisy felt uncomfortable thinking about the awkward scenario of entering heaven and having both boyfriends there.
How would she know which one to love?
Maybe I should have pressed Jason to get professional help with his mental health long, long ago.
He is better than he was for that first half year after he left the islands and resumed his life here in Santa Monica.
But even after two years, he still isn't the man that he once was.
My best friend.
The man that I fell in love with.
I fell in love with him the day I first met him. In the early days of our friendship, it felt like a childish crush, nothing more. But as the months went on, those feelings only ever got stronger.
Deny, deny, deny. That was all that I could do, deny my true feelings.
For a whole year, before that tragic vacation, I knew it wasn't right to have these… feelings of sexual attraction and… I guess… love, for Grant's brother.
It only took me three months after first meeting Jason, before I realized that he had stronger than platonic feelings for me.
We both had an unexplainable attraction to the other. Would it have been easier if I had just broke up with Grant right after I met Jason? At least that way I would not have been around Jason, and every time that I hung out with Jason, either be at a party, double date, or even just me and Jason hanging out alone, I couldn't help these feelings from crawl out from the depths of my soul.
It was an anguished existence. Dating the older brother of the man that you were obsessed with. But neither Jason or myself could have ever broken up with our partners and immediately start our forbidden relationship of dating.
How would that have looked to the entire world? Not to mention how Grant or Liza would have felt. For the rest of mine and Jason's lives, we would always have gotten the cold shoulder from my former boyfriend and his former girlfriend.
Grant… he was perfect… and I was in love with him. Just the same as I am in love with his brother.
The way that Grant took care of me, the way that he loved on me with kisses and hugs, I… miss him so, so much.
As perfectly as Jason was able to deceive everybody else in our friend circle that he did not like me as anything other than his brother's girlfriend and just one of his friends…
But…
I could feel the feelings… if that makes any rational sense at all, but I could feel Jason's feelings of love for me.
That is the only difference between the love the Grant and I had, and the love that Jason and I have.
With Jason… we share this… telepathy… if I had to label it.
I would never be able to explain this to anybody other than Jason.
What he feels, I feel.
Sometimes, I swear, I can actually hear his thoughts.
Feel feelings? Telepathy? Maybe mine and Jason's thoughts and theories on this "magic" may not be nutcase crazy.
Neither one of us believe in hokey-pokey magic or the ridiculous magic that is in fiction or fantasy stories like in novels or movies and stuff.
But I have an open mind.
My mother is kind of a spiritual hippie. And mom always dressed like a hippie on the weekends when she was off work. Her white collar job required her to dress in professional clothing befitting a woman in her line of work. But mom must have felt trapped in that boring suit or dress shirt and pants that her job made her wear.
On the weekends, when mom was not working, she always liked prancing around the house in her colorful and long maxi skirts, with her long blonde hair almost always held together under a paisley headband. It was like mom became an entirely different person when she was in the relaxing environment of our house. It was were mom could live freely in her clothing that made her look like she was about to go to the Woodstock festival. She even has flower tattoos all across both of her arms, from her shoulder down to her elbow. The are etched in a black outline with red and blue flower petals.
So odd that mom loves flowers, considering that she was born and raised in Maine. And that cold and chilly northern state is not a friendly climate to flower, regardless of the year.
Mom's tattoos do not extend far enough down her arm to where they are visible unless she was wearing a short sleeve shirt or tank top or a swimsuit. So her juvenile tattoos are not a hindrance to her professional career, as no person could see her tattoos while mom wears her long sleeve shirts.
Even as mom turned fifty years old last week, she still acts like that giddy and youthful twenty year old that she always will be at heart, and as long as I can remember.
They were pretty young when they got married. Dad and mom both being twenty. Although they were not at a mature age when they got married, they seem to still have always loved each other. It is not uncommon for people who get married at an young age, like under twenty-five, to get divorced after only a few years. Being that young and not having their brains completely developed, ends in separation and eventual divorce in most cases. People are not mature enough to understand the complexities of marriage at that age.
But not mommy and daddy. They have always gotten along so picture perfect.
Three times in my life, I've accidentally walked in on them having sex when I was younger. Once when I was twelve, then when I was fourteen, then the last time was when I was seventeen.
I was mature enough that last time, that it didn't weird me out as much seeing my parents having intimate sex.
And now that both Lilly and me have moved out… I wonder what kind of sexually adventurous things my parents are up to these days.
I wonder… but at the same time… I really, really don't want to know. Mom is kind of outgoing, so it wouldn't surprise me one bit if she randomly began telling me about her sex life with dad.
My only option during that awkward scenario, would be to roll my eyes and cover my face with my hands out of the sheer embarrassment.
For some reason, they were usually pretty quiet while they had sex, so I wasn't the wiser when I'd bust in on that awkward cheek blushing scene.
If my mom doesn't change, she will still be acting like she is twenty even when she turns seventy in twenty years.
Well, maybe when she turns seventy, she might actually start acting her age.
And by acting her age, I mean that she will act like she is twenty-one when she is seventy.
Daddy, on the other hand, looks a little older than mom. Even though he is the same age as her. His outwardly appearance portrays him as a boring square, and serious looking parent. But that is not the truth.
Dad has always been more serious and less outgoing that mom, but he is still very fun when he wants to be.
Knowing about Liza's dysfunctional childhood, and how the Brody brothers lost their father to cancer when Grant was only fifteen years old, I guess that I had a good childhood home by comparison.
Mom has always been into this new age spirituality type mumbo-jumbo. Dad wasn't outwardly religious, he always just kind of went along with whatever wacky spirituality that mom was into. Probably in order to stay on mom's good side, that's why dad just went along with mom's goofy spiritualism. Stuff about everyone and every living thing having a "life force" and being interconnected by an invisible network of strings and bridges.
I didn't grow up in a traditional Christian household, but we didn't hold any resentment towards Christianity. We celebrated Christmas and Easter.
And after the unexplainable feelings and connection that I've always felt for Jason from our first moment meeting, maybe there's something to the spiritual hullabaloo that mom is into.
Additionally, two of those nights that I spent inside that cave, I would leave the cave under the cover of darkness, and walk to the cliff side opening of the cave where the saltwater from the ocean entered the cave.
I wasn't being unnecessarily stupid. The pirates never came out that late at night, at least the pirates never patrolled the area in the vicinity of Dr. Earnhardt's house that late in the night.
But those two nights, there was a full moon out. The clear ocean skies allowed the moon to appear glowing and it's reflection was imprinted on the water of the sea.
I loved dipping my toes in the cave water, but I loved the euphoric feelings that immersing my entire body under water felt as I walked into the salty ocean.
The first of those two nights I was alone. Well, alone in my little adventure outside. Jason had found Liza a couple days earlier, and she had been living in the cave along with myself. But Liza was asleep in her tent, so I had the urge to go at it alone.
Maybe I was tired of being cooped up in that cave for… I don't know how many days, and I just couldn't take it any longer. I needed to see the outside world. Or maybe there was some power or spiritual energy calling out to me, and I need to follow it.
That power then led me outside to let the moonlight from the illuminated full moon cover my skin with it's magical rays.
Daisy felt her cheeks curl as she smirked at her loony thoughts of magic.
It took a lot of effort to not let out at short chuckle. She didn't want to wake Jason up. Daisy enjoyed looking at his dumb looking face as he slept.
Calm down.
If I laugh, the exhaling with cause my breath to hit Jason's face, likely waking him up. And I would rather look at his goofy face as he sleeps.
As they had sat on the living room couch last night, Daisy had mentioned to Jason that tomorrow would have been his brother's birthday.
Grant's birthday.
Jason was so upset with himself last night for forgetting that his Grant's birthday was going to be today.
It tore me apart when Jason started crying. He had punished himself too harshly. But to him, forgetting Grant's birthday was catastrophic and something that gave him more grief than I've seen in almost two years.
Fortunately, I managed to calm him down. He remembered Grant's birthday last year, but somehow forgot about it this year.
We talked about Grant for a while. Only the happy memories.
Jason told me that if Grant was still here and celebrating his birthday, Jason would have made fun of him for being thirty years old.
I was glad to see that the idea of sibling harassment brought a smile to Jason's face.
For all the heart stopping terror, death, loss, and evil that Daisy survived for those two and a half months on the Rook Islands over two years ago, she felt safe in saying that her current life in the present, was good.
She has a decent paying job, her monthly payments on her leased house are affordable and not outrageously priced, and she has the love of her life living with her and helping her pay bills as well as be a companion for her.
And she saw no flaws with Jason. Other than his inability to reintegrate back into his Los Angeles life. That funny and extroverted guy that she once knew, was still trapped inside of Jason body. Daisy always saw the glimmers of the old Jason beaming out of the shell of the new Jason.
But Daisy knew that he wasn't the same as before their southeast Asian vacation. In the two years that they had been together, did not have violent outbursts or any episodes of PTSD, except a couple of isolated instances. Jason also could laugh and smile. He could hold down a job and not let his past effect his present life with Daisy. That is how Daisy saw Jason. As a functional but distraught man.
While they had been dating, Grant had a few conversations with her about some soldiers that he had known personally. Daisy had heard him tell her that one of his friends that he had served with in Iraq, had such bad PTSD that he was barely functional. And while Grant said that he had not known personally most of the other soldiers in his division, simply due to the thousands of soldiers part of it, he had heard through gossip and his former brother and sisters in arms, that his division had an unusually high percentage of veterans returning with PTSD.
Grant never spoke much, hardly at all, of his time in Iraq. But Daisy did know some details about Grant's military service.
In 2004, Grant had joined the Army branch of the United States of America's military. He had been twenty years old when he had joined. After he went through training, he had been deployed to Iraq the next year in 2005.
Grant had earned the rank of sergeant in 2008 after his distinguished service. Daisy had not known the specifics of what actually happened or what Grant had done in the Iraq War, but Grant had been honorably discharged in 2009.
Daisy did not ask Grant to speak about his time in Iraq. She figured that if he felt like telling her about his time overseas and all that he had witnessed, he would talk about it one day.
The two of them had met at a party hosted by a friend of a friend.
Daisy had not had many boyfriends in her life. There were also not many guys that gave Daisy butterflies in her stomach. It took a combination of gusto as well as gentlemanly elegance to win over Daisy's heart.
When Grant had flirted with her, he had made Daisy feel comfortable. He had broken the ice between the two of them by plainly saying that he had not had a girlfriend in over six years, so he apologized if he was going about the process of flirting incorrectly. Something about Grant being so plain spoken but also disingenuous and foolish with his comment about his rusty pick up game, won Daisy's favor.
Grant and Jason are both different. I had fallen in love with them both. Those brothers each took one half of my heart. Even after being with Jason all this time, I still miss Grant being my boyfriend.
Does this mean that my mind isn't normal?
Jason and I have our minds synced together and feel things for each other that go far beyond normal love.
But Grant… I loved everything about him… only… our minds were not synced up like it is with myself and Jason.
What is this sci-fi feeling of telepathy that I share with Jason? It doesn't make any rational scientific sense. We both have the exact same thoughts have the time, and we both have been able to know exactly what the other is thinking without speaking out loud.
And I don't even have to use a sarcastic tone when joking with Jason, because he just… knows… that I am not being serious. If I speak in a sarcastic manner to anyone other than my love Jason, I am going to have to use the sarcasm tone so that a person will know that I don't aim to hammer them with any ill intent.
Maybe telepathy is somehow real.
Jason and I had this invisible string connection long before we were together as lovers.
But something about the Rook Islands and Citra really brought something out in Jason. As if his alter ego had been dormant until being unleashed.
The exact time that Jason had changed… is hard to pinpoint. Safe I am in believing that It was the day that he met Citra.
But he started killing pirates out of necessity to save his friends. It wasn't as if he had changed much. He still would check up on me almost every night as I stayed all alone in that cave.
The nights that we spent sitting around a small bonfire under the cave… they made me feel as the world was not such an evil place after all. Just Jason and me.
Before Liza stayed in that cave, it was just me. The only company that came around was Dr. Earnhardt and Jason whenever he would check up on my well-being and bring me supplies.
The doctor usually would be stumbling around, hopped up on some of his wo called medicinal herbs.
Those herbs that he took, were little more than an excuse for him to get high. But the doctor had mostly just been aloof and out of his mind. But never did anything inappropriate to me or had wronged me in anyway. He had done his best to take care of me after I had been poisoned by those thorny bushes after escaping from those pirates.
If he hadn't have sent Jason on that mission to find those healing mushrooms, I would have died.
Dr. Earnhardt was just a man who had lost his little toddler of a daughter many years ago. And he must have turned to drugs as an escape from reality.
A reality where his baby girl was dead and gone. Who would want to live in that reality?
Losing a baby girl… that pain is something unimaginable.
Daisy had her mind swap to another thought.
Only once, in the two years that Jason had lived in Daisy's house, did he ever physically hurt her.
Last month, Jason had been living out a nightmare while he had been sleeping. And that dream caused him to lash out in reality.
Daisy had woken up to find her boyfriend wrapping his hands around her neck. Their bedroom was almost pitch black in darkness. But dimly lit just enough for Daisy to immediately recognize the man on top of her body to be Jason.
Jason had cried and profusely apologized to Daisy for choking her like that. It was Vaas, the man who killed Grant, that's who Jason was dreaming about. Daisy had figured this out before Jason had told her as he knelt down next to her bedside.
A week later Jason apologized for a second time, completely out of the blue.
I had already forgiven him. Why did he apologize for a second time? And out of nowhere like that?
I can't even imagine how excruciatingly disgusted Jason must have felt when he had squeezed my throat so violently. But it was definitely an accident.
Scared… I was scared when he had woken me up with his fingers curled around my neck. I had to believe that Jason was going to stop before he killed me. He was going to snap out of his confused state, I just knew that he would.
He didn't go through with murdering Liza and everyone else, so I knew that he wouldn't kill me.
As much of an antagonist that Vaas was to Jason, he never talks about Vaas at all. And Jason never mentions dreaming about Vaas either. He had explained that night was the first time in two years that he'd dreamt of Vaas.
A year ago I had asked him if he ever thought about the man that killed his brother. He responded by telling me that he doesn't think about Vaas at all. Which is odd considering that Vaas had killed Grant right in front of Jason. As well as antagonizing Jason long after by holding his friends captive and taunting him.
Daisy had not ever met Vaas in person. She didn't even know what he looked like.
It's better to not have ever seen the face of the man who killed my boyfriend. That way I don't have to ever imagine him shooting Grant.
Daisy would not have believed those years ago, that one day, she would be in a public romance with her friend Jason.
Having Jason as my boyfriend, how do I describe it?
Hmm… If I was forced to put this feeling into words…
It's just like some stupid romantic comedy movie where two best friends, that just so happen to be a woman and a man, end up falling in love and getting together at the end of the movie.
Only difference is, our life together is not just the ending of that movie, but what happens after the end credits.
It still feels… like Jason has been having second thoughts recently, about choosing to leave the Rook Islands with the rest of his old friends, and not stay behind with Citra.
But he would have had to of killed each one of us. That was Citra's desire. For Jason to kill off the people from his past life so that he had no strings tied to him from his past life.
After he would have killed Liza, which person hanging on the wall would he have killed next?
Keith?
Oliver?
Riley?
Or… me?
Would he have had just the slightest bit of hesitation before murdering me?
Or, would Jason have killed me as if I was a minor nuisance? Like squashing an annoying bug that lands momentarily onto a window, unaware of its looming fate to get swatted.
The way that my bestie Jason was in the first few months after our return to Santa Monica… well, he wasn't all put back together mentally. That took some time and understanding on my end.
I will always remember that morning after we had both engaged in risque sexual behavior in my hotel suite the night before, when we almost had sex. Getting butt naked the both of us, showering together, and then my involuntary urge that caused me to hop on top of Jason's nude lap. Fate made certain that we didn't have intercourse.
We only fell asleep, naked, in the same bed.
The morning after, I stood behind my best friend and hugged him in my arms and laid my head on his back, trying to comfort him, he had told me that I wouldn't ever understand the way that those islands made him feel.
But she then thought about what this secret that Jason is having trouble telling her is.
Whatever it is, I'm sure that I can forgive him.
Right? I can't be that bad of a secret.
Does this secret have to do with the rape?
Two years ago, Daisy had decided to be Jason's anchor. His confidant for all of his woes and worries. His caretaker that he could always lean on.
In that Indonesian hotel room, the two of them pretending that nothing atrocious happened on that pirate ship.
But Daisy had thought of Jason, and the state that he was in, just days before returning home to Santa Monica…
/
(To Be Continued)
The next part of this chapter is coming soon!
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