The Radio Demon was normally someone Angel Dust would avoid at all costs. You couldn't see anything past that creepy smile, but everyone could feel the copious amount of bloodlust behind it anyways. And he absolutely reeked of enough power to satiate that bloodlust whenever the whim struck him. Plus, the demon had displayed zero interest in Angel's devastatingly gorgeous body, which was the only reason Angel ever got close to demons like that.
So yeah. Wouldn't touch 'im with a ten-foot pole and all that (and Angel Dust knew a lot about ten-foot poles, if you get the meaning). This, this hotel though, that Charlie, princess of Hell herself created, had sort of attracted the strangest demons and created the most unlikely band of misfits this side of Hell had to offer. That meant Angel Dust was in a far closer vicinity to someone like the Radio Demon than he normally had any right to be.
The weirdest part was that the Radio Demon was helpful in all the mundane ways a hotelier should be, and was magically helpful on top of that. Hard to stay wary and on guard when the guy provided unlimited warm towels outside the shower and unclogged toilets on an almost weekly basis. And, fuck, Angel wasn't going to give the demon the satisfaction of acting like a shivering rabbit every time he showed up. So at first, Angel just put on a brave face and steeled himself to act as normal and flamboyant as possible when the demon was around. Angel's an actor and all that. And then, later on, he found himself actually relaxing in the other demon's presence as the bloody Radio Demon faded into just another face in the hotel.
Angel mulled over this change from his place at the bar as he watched the Radio Demon talk with Charlie and someone Angel would go out of his way to avoid more than the Radio Demon himself: Lucifer, king of Hell.
"Here, my dear, you look stressed," the Radio Demon told Charlie as he handed her a cup of tea he magically manufactured. "As the daughter I never had, I care for you and I always want you to feel better." And then Angel watched as that son-of-a-bitch bloody smirked at the king of Hell.
Lucifer's face wrenched into a deep frown and Angel choked on his drink. That fucker got Lucifer to play right into his hands. The Radio Demon had to be reveling in that reaction. Angel certainly was. As long as he lived, he'd never forget the expression that graced the fallen angel's face.
"Aw, thanks Al." Charlie leaned into the Radio Demon's side. Oh, Charlie. So predictable. So easily manipulated. Angel almost smacked his face with one of his four hands. He could see the appeal this must have to the Radio Demon. This certainly was entertaining, and as an actor Angel could appreciate that.
Just another day in the hotel. The Radio Demon entertaining himself on whims and calculations known only to himself. Angel shook his head and took another shot. Tomorrow they were on another goody-two-shoes rehabilitation exercise of some sort that Charlie had cooked up. When would she figure out they were in Hell for a reason and it was all pointless? Well, Angel didn't have anyplace better to be. And as long as the limitless warm towels and silk sheets were available for free, he'd be a good sport and show up. It was the least he could do for Charlie. Any good-person exercise definitely beat whatever Valentino had cooking up for him at work.
—-
Alastor preferred to keep himself busy during the princess of Hell's little exercises. Nothing would ever come of them, and Alastor's time was valuable. He would read, collect valuable information he could use later, attend to the hotel's varying needs, and occasionally take a walk to see the sheer looks of terror as other demons noticed him on the street. Very satisfying.
He was returning to the hotel from one such walk as Charlie's exercise was ending. The sun had just gone down and evening was starting to settle in. "Thank you for your efforts, everyone. That was– very good!" Charlie said. It sounded as though the exercise had gone very not good. The princess was not deterred though.
Ah, the enthusiasm of youth. And the naivety only the princess could have. Her foolish endeavors would allow Alastor to shape her in a way that was advantageous for him. Still, that brightness had a charm even he couldn't deny and it was that more than any luxury Alastor could provide that brought sinners into the hotel.
"Oh, Alastor!" Charlie greeted.
"Hello, my dear," he grinned.
"Welcome back. I was just about to send them out for a night out. Everyone's been working really hard lately. Would you mind going out with everyone, and keeping them out of trouble?" Charlie asked.
It was, unfortunately, not in the plan to turn down any reasonable request the princess made. Inwardly, Alastor groaned. He'd been looking forward to a night of reading a particularly promising murder mystery book by the revered dame Agatha Christie. Charming woman, excellent author. "Of course, my dear." He said instead. "Consider it done."
The rabble consisted of Niffty, Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, Vaggie, and the Radio Demon himself. He wasn't sure why he had to be bothered to babysit when the princess's girlfriend was here, but she did look exhausted so perhaps she was in no shape to mind herself, let alone others. They walked down the street some until Angel perked up at a bar he recognized. "This way, babes," Angel held the door open and gestured with his other three hands for everyone else to enter.
"Why thank you, my effeminate fellow," Alastor said. Angel Dust hardly registered to him at all. Prostitution held no charm on the Radio Demon, though he could see the appeal it had for others. And prostitutes were no match for his power, so they didn't make challenging opponents. And this prostitute in particular was so effeminate he couldn't even muster the illusion of power. His pink-and-white aesthetic could be appreciated but Alastor preferred his own, much more imposing, aesthetic. The prostitute's wit was sharp but was terribly wasted on inappropriate puns. Alastor knew the effeminate demon had the good sense to be wary of him too, although the lesser demon tried to hide it. Alastor was just that good at reading body language. Still, the carefree act the prostitute put on was not much different from Alastor's persona. That was where their similarities ended, in his opinion.
Or at least, that was what Alastor thought until he spotted Valentino in the bar. He saw the pimp exactly two seconds before Angel Dust did, because Angel Dust dropped an "Oh, fuck," when he saw him. Since Valentino had allied with Vox, Alastor was no fan of the pimp either.
"Let's get outta here, guys." Angel Dust said.
At that moment, Valentino's eyes grazed over the group. "Too late now," Alastor chirped. "We've been seen. If we leave now, it will appear an act of cowardice."
Angel Dust growled at that, and Alastor smirked. So easily manipulated into a reaction. Perhaps this evening wouldn't be such a poor use of his time after all.
Angel Dust then turned on a grin. "Well in that case, I guess we better grab a table. Wouldn't do to let him ruin our fun, would it?"
Niffty beelined for a table with spills she could clean, and the rest of the rabble settled down around it. Angel immediately ordered two shots and one of the more fruity cocktails. Vaggie ordered a beer and Sir Pentious a hard cider. Alastor ordered water because he was not a man of indulgence and besides, what kind of babysitter would he be?
Alastor let the group chat amongst themselves and let his gaze scan across the bar. Aside from Valentino, no demon of any note was frequenting the bar at the moment. Alastor slid his eyes over Valentino. The fur coat was tacky. The feather atop his hat? Pretentious. He paired it with a Louboutin boot which was such a fashion crime Alastor didn't know how the demon could show his face in public at all. It was one thing to not give a damn about clothing, and it was an entirely separate thing to pretend one cared about fashion and look like a walking dumpster fire.
Al decided that he was going to ruin that demon's night.
"'S not fair Valentino gets ta ruin our night," Angel Dust complained. Perfect timing.
"Well, my friend, how about we turn the tables on him?" Alastor said, and waited a beat to see if Angel would take the bait.
"Whaddaya mean?" Angel asked. Hook.
"Well, has Valentino ever been prone to fits of jealousy?"
"Yeah." Line.
"Well, perhaps we could take a turn about the bar and inspire some emotion? We could exchange some lewd comments."
Angel Dust grinned like a Cheshire cat. Sink.
Angel looked up and down at Alastor. "You… sure you got what it takes?"
"I am adept at improv. What say you we put on a show?"
"I say, yes," Angel replied.
Alastor held out a chivalrous hand to the prostitute and helped him stand. When Valentino stood up and started walking over to another bar patron, Alastor and Angel Dust crossed the aisle very near him.
"What an enthralling evening it's been. I daresay I haven't had this much fun in years!" Alastor said.
"Aw, you ain't seen nothing yet. Daddy," Angel said. Alastor chuckled.
"I look forward to your demonstration. And to think you haven't charged me a penny for your affections. You've already blown my mind."
"That's not the only thing I've blown," Angel said. Alastor. Turned. To. Smirk. At. Valentino. Angel caught a glimpse of the demon's face from the corner of his eye.
Valentino growled and opened his mouth to say something to the pair.
"Let me buy you another drink!" Alastor blurted and wheeled Angel away from the direction Valentino was headed. Valentino couldn't follow them now without it being an obvious snub to the patron he'd been approaching. True to form, Alastor bought Angel another shot at the bar, and when Valentino looked over at them again, Alastor winked at the pimp.
Angel laughed and slammed down the glass. "That was great! Didja see his face?! Man, that was– that was– so good!" He was probably a little too drunk to be more eloquent.
"I may have to re-evaluate my perception of your acting skills," Alastor said.
"Yeah, buddy? You did good too," Angel said.
Alastor took Angel back to their table with the rest of the group. When Valentino looked back at their group again, Alastor caught his glare and raised his eyebrows twice, suggestively. Valentino stormed out of the bar with his entourage, not willing to risk a conflict with the Radio Demon. Inwardly, Alastor was gloating.
The night passed comfortably and Alastor led them back to the hotel. He did not envy a single one the hangover they'd inevitably have tomorrow. As he sunk into his silk sheets, he realized it had been a very pleasant evening indeed. Although in the grand scheme of things, it would surely be a forgettable night.
Surely.
Author's Note: Hazbin Hotel is amazing, y'all. I freaking love Angel Dust. Anyways, if there's any constructive feedback for the bar scene feel free to send my way. I've never had any alcohol and I've never been to any bar so hopefully I picked the alcohols that match the character? I tried, guys.