Chapter 2: Disco

Teresa

Standing by the bar, I rested my forearms on the sticky, and slightly damp wood. Waiting for the bartender to see to me, I tapped a coaster on the counter and rotated it around with my fingers. Feeling someone standing just a little too close, I turned over my shoulder to see Todhunter beaming down at me.

'Look who decided to come down for a dance,' he said, yelling slightly to be heard over the sound of the disco music. He was eyeing the very low back of my very short, little black dress appreciatively. Turning slightly, I noticed he hadn't brought his gaze back up and was now blatantly staring at the tops of my breast in the expensive velvet.

This guy was beyond persistent. Sure it had been a bit of a laugh making faces at him, and goofing around during the "Welcome Back George" party, but this was all too much too fast. The guy was so full of himself it made Rimmer look modest. Plus the sinister part of me wondered if he was only being nice to me to get laid, and once that happened he'd drop me like the others had. He certainly seemed hot for me. Too bad for him it didn't go both ways. I could probably go there, but I knew I wouldn't feel very good afterwards, even if there was the possibility of a bit of fun and an orgasm. Course with upper class types, an orgasm wasn't guaranteed.

'Yeah,' I nodded and then briefly looked for the bartender. 'Well a drink actually,' I smiled politely.

'Let me get that then,' Todhunter offered and then I smiled a bit warmer, he'd said the magic words. While always a way to get me to talk to you for five minutes, a free drink was never enough to get into my pants, and hopefully Todhunter bought at least a few rounds before he realised.

'Alright Kochanski Jr.' I heard Chen say from my side as he came up for the next round of drinks for his table of misfits. Flashing him my pearly whites, I offered him a return greeting. Why couldn't I have mates like Lister did? Although, I suppose if I really wanted to, I could have hung around with Lister and his mates, but that sort of felt like tagging around with an older sibling. I didn't want to cramp Lister's style. Especially if he was too nice to tell me to go away.

'Alright Chen,' I nodded at him. Pushing up on the bar top and leaning over it, I nicked a pen from behind the bar and scribbled a quick note down on a nearby napkin. Sliding it over to him, I put a finger up to my lips and pointed to an oblivious Todhunter. He nodded understanding easily and went back to doing his own thing.

'So,' Frank said, leaning down so he wouldn't have to yell as much. His warm breath fanned the shell of my ear, making me shift uncomfortably. 'What're your plans after this mission ends?' He asked, dropping an arm over my shoulders and shuffling in even closer. His elbow was resting right where the halter tie to my dress sat, tugging it back unintentionally along with the short hairs at the back of my neck. At least I'd tied my hair up in a messy, half bun half pony, or he'd be yanking all the hair from my head. 'Since you dropped Astronavigations for Flight Mechanics.'

'Continue to be a flight mechanic,' I replied, as he pressed his chest into my bare back. I could feel the crisp fabric of his salmon shirt and the cold buttons pressing into my hot skin. 'Lest I follow George's steps out the door.'

'You'd really give up your superior position for rolling about in grease all day and a lower pay check?' Todhunter scoffed, shaking his head as he tried and failed to understand. 'I thought you were just messing about, having a lark and what have you. Darling, you're meant for better things.'

'Actually, Hollister kept my pay the same,' I replied, feeling distaste for the man currently trying to climb right up my rear. He kept shifting his hips against the back of me, as if trying to cop a feel with his waist alone. 'And yes, I would rather work in a job where I make achievements, where I'm kept busy and satisfied, rather than work in a boring desk job where all the calculations, formulas and procedures I committed to memory are completely redundant. Because they are, all we see all day every day is a black sky with white dots everywhere. This job makes me happy, I get to go to work and make an actual difference. Isn't that what's important, being happy?'

'Didn't know you felt that strongly about it, Kochanski,' Todhunter replied. 'Your sister seems to enjoy it enough.'

'We're sisters, not clones,' I replied and necked the drink he'd bought me and prayed for my SOS distress call to be answered. I singled the bartender for the same again.

'I'll say, you certainly got the better end of the attractive stick, Teresa. You know, no one really likes their job. There are other ways you can be happy, I bet I could make you happy,' he said, hot breath once again hitting my ear and neck. He smelled heavily of cologne and cognac and I wanted nothing more than a quick escape. Even from here, I could feel the moisture coming off his lips as he was itching to brush them against the shell of my ear. Maybe I couldn't go there, I didn't want to sleep with him, but I couldn't even if it would get him to lose interest in me.

Lister

Chen sauntered back over, plonking the tray that had been balanced on his arms on the sticky, wet table we had gathered around and claimed as ours for the night. The tray hit the table with a thunk and some lager sloshed over the sides of the pint glasses.

'Alright boys, another round,' Chen said as he sat down, taking his share off the tray of 16 mugs of lager. Yeh see, each round consisted of four pints each, an idea cultivated by Petersen and meself. The idea was you'd have to get up less often to go to the bar, and therefore, could get drunker, quicker.

'Yeeees,' I called enthusiastically, stamping my feet and yanking me arms.

'You know who I saw at the bar,' he said, leaning over his arms like he had scorching hot gossip.

'No,' Petersen shook his head, taking the question literally.

'Little Kochanski Jr.' he told us, nodding to the bar. I spotted the back of her head, brown hair scraped up at the crown of her head, back and neck all exposed like. She looked quite fit, so it was no wonder Todhunter was directly behind and all over 'er. 'Slipped me this note and everything,' he proudly held up the napkin she'd given him at the bar.

'Well go on,' I prodded, wondering exactly why she was writing notes to Chen of all people. I always thought if she was gonna go for one of us, it would be Petersen for sure, he always seemed to think she was quite a looker, and they were both very nice.

'Yeah,' Selby agreed.

'What's it say man?' Petersen asked, looking annoyed. See, told yeh.

'It says,' he held up the napkin theatrically and cleared his throat. ' "Lister," oh damn, it's for you man,' Chen handed the napkin over to me, making me laugh. See, knew she wouldn't be writing to 'im.

' "Lister," ' I read just after clearing me throat. ' "If ten minutes passes and I'm still stuck with this total smeg-pot please come and rescue me."

Looking over to where Resa was standing, I watched her shift uncomfortably as picked up a glass off the bar. Todhunter was guiding her across to the dancefloor, hand touching the bare flash of her back, just above her arse. She was currently necking what was in her glass while he seemed to be trying to get underneath that short little dress of hers.

' "Send the cavalry if you have to, I owe you one." ' she finished off in the note and I watched the two of them sympathetically. She'd only wanted to prove she didn't need those smegheads from the flight deck. They'd been really cruel to her since she switched jobs. And she'd only done it to have more fun, how could anyone be upset about that?

'Well looky here boys,' Selby clapped his hands together.

'Seems the smeg has moved up in the world,' Chen grinned.

'We're nights in shining armour,' I said, stamping me feet and trying to look excited. Really, I was just in a hurry to go 'n rescue me mate. 'Yeeees.'

'We're getting a favour,' Petersen pointed out enthusiastically.

Teresa

Feeling Todhunter's hand on my butt where the fabric of my dress met my lower back, I grabbed the glass of wine the bartender had bought me and sipped it to stop me from yelling at him. This was the second wine he'd bought me since we'd been standing here. It definitely felt like it had been more than ten minutes. So much for that rescue. He gave my arse a squeeze, roughly palpitating the flesh beneath the velvet material of my dress. Well, at least he couldn't crease it with his tight grip.

'How about a dance then, Teresa?' Frank suggested and I agreed, at least if we were dancing over on the incredibly noisy dance floor I wouldn't have to listen to him talk. Plus, I could always get lost in the crowd and go home.

'That sounds like fun,' I said and necked back the rest of my drink. Putting my empty glass on a random table, I let him lead me out to the dance floor. If I was stuck here, I might as well look like I was having fun and show up my fellow officers who had gone out of their way to make my life a misery. Maybe I should have paid Petrovich a visit before I came down here, at least then I'd care less about Todhunter's wandering hands. Moving my hips from side to side with a slight lift, I started working my magic, moving like a dance machine. It was almost easy to forget the pompous prick in front of me as I focused on moving my little butt across the floor.

'You're quite good at that,' he commented. And I thanked him, choosing not to comment on his clearly inferior wiggling skills. He stepped forwards, trying to grind his hips against mine, much like the others were doing. He wedged a knee between my legs, trying to encourage the sexual nature of our dance. His thigh brushed against the soft material of my pants, stirring something, just barely and I hated it. Shuffling back away from him in my strappy high heels, I kept wiggling. Keep up the dance, don't let him - or anyone else - know he got to me.

He moved his hands around to rest on the small of my back and I felt a little grossed out. His palms made contact with my bare skin and the heat from both our bodies started creating sweat that was easily rolling down into the fabric of the dress. This was definitely needing a dry cleaning after tonight. He stepped forwards again, putting his knee back between my legs and grinding his hips into mine, effectively trapping me into doing what he wanted this time. He grinned at some of his male friends who were around us with their own dates and I saved my eye rolling for later. See, I knew I was just a play thing.

He ducked his head forwards, hot breath hitting my collar bone and he moved his lips down to the crook of my neck. He started kissing my skin with his hot, wet mouth and I was unable to hide my disgust. While I had agreed to dance with him, I'd been pretty clear I wasn't interested in him tonight, hadn't I? I'd done all the right things, not been outwardly rude, given him soft no's what else was I supposed to do?

Lister

'Alright boys, one more quick game before we go and rescue Kochanski Jr.' Chen clapped his hands together.

'I've been to Titan, I've been to Juno, I can name eight things that go in jars that you know! Pickles!' Petersen clapped and banged on the table, playing the usual rhyming drinking game with his boys.

'Jam!' Called Selb, slamming his fist on the table.

'Spaghetti!' Called Chen, doing the same.

'Brains!' I cried, throwing me arms out, grinning and setting the stage for another one of me classic jokes.

'What? In jars?' Selby asked, confused as everyone stared at him. They glanced between the two of us and I tried not to smirk.

'My uncle's brain's in a jar. It's really sad,' I explained, sounding genuinely empathetic.

'Why is it sad?' Chen asked.

'He's not dead yet,' I said, cracking up, grabbing me pint and taking another swig. Glancing over to the dancefloor, I saw the back of Todhunters head as he leaned down, lips on Resa's neck while she looked like she was about to cry.

'Right, everybody's punished. Finish your drinks,' Petersen ordered, also seeing what I had. Everyone then skulled what was last of their larger, eager to go on the rescue mission we'd temporarily forgotten about.

Teresa

Spying the crowd of slobs get up from their table and make their way over, I felt my body flood with relief. I instantly became less rigid and felt the stiffness exit my body. Thank god, I could always rely on Lister. He was at the head of the group, closely followed by Petersen, the other two of his mates behind them.

'Is that,' Lister said exaggeratedly, pretending he wasn't sure it was me he was looking at. He poked his head around Todhunter and theatrically checked to see if I was the right person he was thinking of. 'It is! Kochanski!'

'Lister, hi,' I greeted, pushing hard against Frank's chest and breaking out of his arms. With an overly cheesy grin, I stepped away from him and immediately leaned forward to wrap my arms around Lister, like you would an old friend. Gripping him so tightly I was afraid he might break, I relaxed when he gave me a squeeze back. He pulled away and I refused to leave his side now I was near him.

'Todhunter get down,' Lister did his usual greeting and was met with the usual response.

'Yes,' he nodded, barely acknowledging him.

'So what are you two love birds doing out and about?' Lister asked, trying to make conversation with us. He also opened the door for me to shut down what Todhunter was trying.

'Oh we're not together,' I replied chirpily, trying to shut down the notion as swiftly as possible. He'd done a lot of damage kissing my neck like that, it was like he was marking his territory. 'Just ran into a college and thought we'd have a dance. You celebrating George's return?'

'Kochanski,' I heard from behind me and saw Chen waving finger guns at me. Beaming as he finally made it over.

'Ayyy it's little Kochanski Jr.' Selby greeted from my side.

'Teresa,' Petersen's thick Danish accent slurred from my other, other side, enclosing me in a protective ring of slobs. Properly able to relax now I had my own personal guard, I stood a little taller.

'Good to see you guys,' I smiled up at them, eternally grateful for them coming to my aid. Thank god that bartender had had a nearby biro.

'Well,' I heard Todhunter say from somewhere outside the circle. He looked awkward, and might have finally decided to bow out. 'I might see you around Kochanski.'

'Bye bye,' Lister said, and all his boys joined in, waving and saying "bye bye".

'Oh my god! I am so glad you showed up when you did,' I threw my arms around each of the guys.

'The cavalry my darling,' Petersen slurred, doing his best to look charming.

'Course we would,' Lister replied, punching my upper arm lightly. 'Couldn't let you get trapped with a complete and total smeg head, now could we?'

'No,' I smiled affectionately.

'Are you alright though?' he asked and I nodded.

'I will be, thanks again,' I said and he grinned impishly. There was no doubt in my mind he actually enjoyed making Frank feel so uncomfortable, and I was just happy he'd been enough to make him go away.

'Are yeh sure?' he prodded, asking one last time. I nodded.

'He grabbed my arse, stuck his knee between my legs, and kissed me neck a bit, but you guys scared him off for me, so I doubt I'll be seeing him again tonight,' I told him and he looked a little concerned, maybe even a little upset, but nodded.

'Anymore trouble, you let me know, kid, alright?' he insisted and I beamed at him, nodding and giving him another tight hug. He clapped his hands on my sweaty back and let me go.

Now that Lister and co. had seen to it that Todhunter had left for the night, I headed out on my own, and went to dance with some of my old friends that I had spotted. Hopefully they didn't outright reject me. I said goodbye and another thank you before leaving. Hopefully, I could still have a good evening now the awkward and disagreeable not date with my superior was over.

With little luck, I eventually grew tired and wanted to sit down. All the tables were full except the one next to Petersen's table. I went up to the bar and bought another round of drinks for them and myself and put them down on their table.

'Gents, a real thank you,' I said and then walked away from the table, going to sit by myself. While I might have been welcome to sit with them, honestly I was too angry and just wanted to sit by myself till I calmed down. I sat in my trademark slouching position, one foot on the plastic base of my chair, the other one resting on the table with little regard to just how short my dress was. Rolling my shoulders back, I pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a deep drag. I felt a lot better now, albeit a little tired. Perhaps this was too much too soon, and I should have just stayed in bed. Had I really proved anything? All I managed to do was look like a slapper in front of the entire crew. Sighing, I looked up from my cigarette for a moment only to see a still uniformed Arnold Rimmer marching through the disco.

'Excuse me, please. Could you please excuse me? Some of us have more important things to do than wiggle our posteriors. Could you move please? Please? Thank you. Could you move? Excuse me, please. Excuse me. Excuse me, please. Excuse me!'

Say what you like about the guy, one thing he was legitimately good at was making a spectacle of himself. I could just barely hear him over the music but I did enjoy seeing how frustrated he got. Spotting he'd gotten stopped behind my sister, I laughed a little knowing she thought he was as much of a smeg head as I did, if not more so. Rimmer bumped into her accidentally, and knocked her purse out of her hand. He bent down to pick it up for her and just when I thought he was going to apologise and redeem himself a little, he instead reaffirmed just how much of a plonker he was.

'If you want to dance, do it over there,' he said and threw her purse over to the other side of the disco and my eyebrows shot through my hairline. 'Sorry.' He called out to the person he threw her purse at, making me audibly scoff.

'That woman's out of your league. She's just too classy for you,' Chen said to Lister as he watched my sister leave. I mean, he was a slob but she couldn't have been that out of his league if they'd dated before. And I liked Dave better than I liked Tom, even if Lister was a smelly git. Plus, Kristine had bragged once or twice in passing that the sex was amazing, even if she had described him as a "bit of rough".

'Who is?' Lister tried to play coy. Poor guy.

'Kochanski,' Chen answered.

'I've got no big thing about Kochanski,' Lister defended, he absolutely did have a big thing about my older sister. I didn't mind, maybe him being so down to earth would knock her down a few pegs.

'Stick to your usual type. Women with little wispy beards who wear three overcoats and carry little bags full of string,' Chen teased, gesturing to his chin and making out like it was covered in hair.

'Kristine Kochanski?' Selby asked, an important clarification to make since the ship was host to two of us.

'Shut up!' Lister yelled, getting irritated.

'What, Officer Kristine Kochanski?' Selby continued and I rolled my eyes. Was there another?

'Selby, have you ever eaten a coconut whole?' Dave threatened and the visual that popped into my head made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I'd always adored cartoon violence.

'Ah, you've got no second chance with her. You're just too ugly,' Selby told him and I shook my head, going back to my cigarette. Arguably, he was the nicest looking of the four of them, Petersen a close second.

'Listen, hadron head, I've got no big thing about Kristine Kochanski!' Lister defended, denying his very obvious crush. Not that anyone believed him.

'I have,' said Chen and I stubbed out my cigarette butt and looked the other way for something to do. Their conversation was boring.

'So have I,' said Selby.

'You know who's also fine?' Petersen asked.

'Who?' Chen asked.

'Little Kochanski Jr.' He answered matter of factly and I sighed quietly, pretty sure they were unaware I could hear them, or that I was even nearby.

'Yes,' Selby clapped his hands together. 'Much more in your league, Lister. Gorgeous, but ultimately aware of your existence. Plus, she can drink!'

'She doesn't have a little wispy beard,' Chen said. 'I know, I like to look at her face when she's not looking. I've seen it up real close. No beard. Just smooth, baby soft skin.'

'I don't fancy my ex-girlfriend's little sister,' Lister told them.

'I do,' Petersen replied.

'I do,' Selby joined.

'I do,' Chen agreed before tapping his chin. 'I wonder where else she's baby soft.'

Suddenly I was uncomfortable again. It was then Rimmer turned up and I lit up another dart. He gave the table his signature pillock salute and the boys returned it mockingly. Tonight was a flop, I should just give up and go home. I would, in fact, if I could be bothered getting up out of my chair.

'Ha ha ha,' Rimmer laughed sarcastically. 'Lister, where's my revision timetable?'

'Sir, it's Saturday night!' Chen unhelpfully informed him.

'Come on, no one works Saturday night!' Lister told him, encouraging him to take an arguably much needed break.

'You don't work any night. You don't work any day!' Rimmer replied.

'Skive hard, play hard! That's our motto!' Lister said and everyone cheered.

'Look, I've got my engineering re-sit on Monday. I don't know anything. Where's my revision timetable?' Rimmer asked.

'Wait, is this the thing in all different colours, with all the subjects divided into study periods and rest periods and self testing time?' Lister asked.

'It took me seven weeks to make it. I've got to cram my whole revision into one night,' Rimmer said and I shook my head, no wonder he was a complete novice. I put my leg on the seat down, leaving the foot I had on the table, shifting uncomfortably. Given how short my dress was, I was grateful my pants were black, otherwise I'd probably be giving anyone who looked my way an eyeful.

'Hang on, is this the thing with the note on it in red which said, "Vital. Valuable. Urgent. Do not touch on pain of death?" ' Lister asked.

'Yes!' Rimmer replied, getting stressed. He looked very distressed at this particular moment and even though he was a complete smeg head, I did feel a little sorry for him.

'I threw it away,' Lister joked and laughed with his friends.

'Ha ha ha ha. Tee hee. Where is it?' Rimmer asked.

'No, I didn't. I pinned it up on the wall,' Lister told him honestly.

'What? Why?' Rimmer asked, surprised and confused.

'To dry it out,' Lister explained.

'What do you mean, dry it out?' Rimmer replied.

'Well, I spilled a cold vindaloo on it. Don't worry, it's a little bit red, but you can read most of it, especially if you scrape the lumps off,' Lister assured him. There was me, feeling bad for Rimmer again, everyone was mean to him. But it was hard to feel completely sorry for him, because he was actually awful, and a completely selfish git.

'You spoiled my - no, I haven't got time. I'm taking learning drugs and all I'm memorising is this conversation,' Rimmer said rubbing his temples. With the amount of times he'd abysmally failed his exams, at this point I didn't think learning drugs could actually help him.

'They're illegal!' Petersen drunkenly scolded. As if the catering officer hadn't taken worse. In fact, we'd once been in Petrovich's quarters at the same time buying MDMA off him. Well, that's what I was buying, I didn't stick around long enough to find out about what Petersen got into.

'Where's my revision timetable, Lister? It's Saturday night. No one works Saturday night. You don't work any night. You don't work any day. Skive hard, play hard, that's our motto. Lister, where did you put my revision timetable? It's Saturday night. No one works Saturday night. You don't work...' He muttered, going into a sort of meditative trance.

He tried to move around the table, walking by me as he mumbled to himself and tripped over someone's pile of stuff. He came straight for me as I sat holding my cigarette up in my right hand and I was too paralysed by shock to do anything. He landed between my thighs, knees hitting the floor and face landing in between my boobs. My probably very sweaty boobs. My probably very sweaty boobs that were now touching Rimmer. With my leg now balanced over his shoulder, I held a look of complete shock on my face and almost dropped my cigarette. Rimmer pulled his face out of my cleavage slowly and then looked up at my face, going completely pink and unable to move.

'What the smeg are you doin' man?' Lister climbed up out of his chair and yanked Rimmer up out of my boobs by his collar. The latter accidentally slapped my thigh on his way up, making an audible smack sound throughout the room. A few heads turned my way, leaving me in a further stunned silence.

'Are you alright?' Lister asked and I sat agape after Rimmer walked off. Dropping my leg to the floor, I sat with my knees parted, still too shocked to speak.

'That really wasn't how I saw my evening going,' I eventually said and he snorted. 'Two smegheads in the space of a few hours.'

'I bet it wasn't,' he laughed and patted me on the shoulder. 'Look after yourself,' he smiled and then went back to his table. Home time for me I think, I decided. I stubbed out what was left of my cigarette and got up, heading back towards B deck where my quarters were.

'I've been to Titan, I've been to Bolanski, I can name 90 men who've slept with Kochanski! Me!' I heard Chen start up their rhyming game again and rolled my eyes. Scumbags.

'Me!' Called Petersen.

'Me!' Cried Selby.

'The London Jets Juniors!' Said Chen.

'The service droids!' Petersen clapped.

'My mother!' Said Selby.

'OK, leave it alone, leave it alone,' I heard before I was able to get out of the disco. At least I could always rely on Lister.

It was a short trip from the disco to B deck, and thankfully it was frightfully empty when I stepped inside it. Making it to my quarters without further incident, I let out a sigh of relief, resting my sweaty forehead on the cold door.

'Kochanski,' Todhunter greeted, sounding both perky and drunk. Glancing behind me I spotted him swaying as he stood there, nearly ending up on his face more than once.

'I'm not sure how you managed to get more drunk than I did when you left early,' I commented, smelling the alcohol rolling off of him in waves and watching him sway.

'I went to the officer's club after,' he told me and I nodded. 'Sat down, played a little cards, and had bottomless port. Thing about drinking while you're sitting is, you don't feel it until you stand up.'

'Maybe the next place you should go to is your quarters, sleep this off,' I suggested and he beamed.

'Sleep it off,' he nodded enthusiastically. He stepped closer, soft, callous free fingertips brushing against my sides. They slid behind me, rubbing the slightly sweaty skin of my back, seeming uncaring that I was visibly damp. 'Let's do that together,' he suggested. 'Nothing makes me more randy than bottomless port. Hehe, bottom.'

'Let's not,' I replied, putting my hand up in front of me. 'You're very drunk, Todhunter.'

'Frank,' he corrected. 'I like it better when you call me Frank.'

'Frank,' I said firmly. 'Go home, drink some water, go to bed.'

'Come with me,' he said, pulling my wrist. At first he just pulled away, holding my arm but when I didn't budge he gave my arm a yank. Decided to agree, I went with him, leading him far far away from my quarters. Thinking I could shove him in his own door and head back to my own quarters, this should be an easy way to get rid of him. Last thing I wanted was him hanging around outside my door, banging on it and loudly begging to be let in while I was trying to sleep.

'Okay,' I smiled and let him stumble at my side. He dropped an arm around my shoulders again, clumsily massaging one of my shoulders. 'Holly, is Petrovich in?' I asked.

'Yes, he's just gotten back from the officer's club and is relatively sober,' Holly replied. 'Would you like me to inform him of the situation?'

'Yes!' Todhunter yelled. 'Tell him to bugger off so I can shag this beautiful woman!' he turned to me, smirking down in an attempt at being seductive. He leaned into my ear, hot breath catching in my sweat. 'You're a lucky girl, you know. I'm quite experienced.'

'Tell him I'm escorting a drunken Todhunter home, and to be ready to take over,' I told him, ignoring the piss head. We walked past a food dispenser and I stopped him. Hopefully something to eat would absorb some of the booze. 'Kebab and chips, chill sauce, and a water,' I ordered and carried the container and the giant water bottle while Todhunter wandered at my side muttering idly about a sports game he went to when he was 12, and how eggs and soldiers was far superior to fried eggs with toast triangles.

'Petrovich,' I knocked hard on the door and the door opened immediately. He was waiting for me, looking unimpressed with his roommate.

'Out you go!' Todhunter ordered as I walked in, put the food down and forced Frank into a seat. He hit the base of the hard chair with a thud and he reached out for my waist. Dodging him, I pointed to the tray in front of him instead.

'Eat,' I ordered and he nodded.

'I'll need to keep my strength up,' he agreed, grabbing my hips again and successfully pulling me down onto his lap. He put both his large hands on my rear and gave it a rough massage, leaning into my neck. 'Because I'm about to give you the most wild night of your life,' he told me. 'Just wait till you find out what I can do with my tongue, and where I want to put it.'

'Man, he really is gonzo,' Petrovich commented and I rolled my eyes at the understatement of the century. Jumping when two hands came down on my arse, I threw Frank's arms off of me. Pushing Frank away completely, I managed to climb off of him and I walked towards the door, waving to Petrovich as I went and headed back to my own room. Tonight was a mistake, a complete waste of time.

'Good morning Teresa, this is your morning wake up call,' Holly chimed and I moaned into the pillow. 'I have specific instructions to tell you from Mister Lister, would you like to hear them?'

'Uhhhh...' I rubbed my face and tried to process what Holly had just said. 'Yeah.'

'Dave said to inform him when you've woken up, and not to leave your quarters before he's had a chance to speak to you, it's urgent,' Holly repeated. Pushing up, and feeling my head spinning I tried to process what he'd just said.

'Well if it's urgent you'd better tell I'm up,' I commented, reaching for my nearby packet of cigarettes. 'Thanks Holly.'

After having my first fag of the morning, I jumped into the shower quickly and was brushing my teeth when I heard the hurried knocking on my quarters door. 'Holly open the door please,' I slurred, spitting out the toothpaste.

'You haven't heard anything yet, have you?' Lister asked and I raised a brow. Rinsing my mouth, I put my toothbrush back in the holder.

'Heard what?' I asked, walking over. 'I haven't left, like you asked. I've only spoken to Holly this morning.'

'It's Todhunter..' Lister started and I cut him off.

'He didn't die of alcohol poisoning did he?' I asked, rolling my eyes.

'No,' Lister replied with a shake of his head. 'He's going around telling everyone you slept with him last night.'

'Holly, can you burn me a tape of me escorting Todhunter back to his room and then immediately leaving again?' I asked, plonking down on my unmade bed.

'Certainly, Teresa,' Holly replied. A plan was forming in my mind and if Todhunter was gonna do something like this to me, I was going to destroy him, to hell with the consequences.

'You still have that napkin?' I asked and he pulled it out of his pocket.

'It's got a bit of vindaloo on it though,' he said sheepishly and I took it from him.

'It's fine,' I said and asked Holly to copy the napkin as well. 'Holly can you make an announcement at lunchtime for me today?'

'Certainly Teresa, what would you like to say?' He asked.

'Please inform everyone that I didn't sleep with Todhunter, and then present them with the evidence on all screens on the ship, napkin first and then video,' I said and then handed Lister back his napkin. 'If anyone needs me I'll be down in the Shuttle Bay doing my job instead of childish gossiping.'

'If it makes you feel any better kid, the guys and I don't believe him,' Lister said.

'I know,' I gave him a half hearted smile. 'I'm just thinking about how much trouble I'm going to get into with Hollister later for using the announcement system for this.'

'Holister likes yeh, yeh should be fine,' he said and I shrugged.

'Hopefully, but he can't blatantly ignore this. I can't believe him, I should tell you what he did to me last night,' I said and sat across from him at my table, filling him in on the whole night as well as when he showed up outside my quarters.