Now that I've gotten some drama out of the way, let's get this comedy back on track.
"Steady," Knuckles said, a serious look on his face. "Steadyyyy. Just a little longer." He glanced down at a pocket watch he'd pulled from nowhere. "Okay, you're good."
Joe immediately stopped the plank he was doing and collapsed on the sand. "Whew, I could use some water." He looked up at his coach. "Is she still watching us?"
Knuckles jabbed a thumb behind him. "Oh yeah."
Following his thumb, Joe saw Sticks peering at them from behind a rock at the edge of the jungle. As soon as she saw him looking, she vanished again. He went back to pretending to ignore her.
"So, how many more of these sessions before I'm in good shape?"
"Well, I'd love to give you an estimate, but that would involve knowing how to count," Knuckles answered. He offered a hand and helped his protégé up.
"You don't know how to count?" Joe asked. Before he could follow that train of thought any further, his stomach growled. "Never mind. I'm hungry. How 'bout you?"
"We could go to Meh Burger," Knuckles suggested.
Joe cringed. "Again? That can'tbe the only place toeat around here."
Knuckles shrugged. "We could look around, I guess?"
And so, the duo began walking through the village in search of their lunch.
"You sure I need my sword here?"
"You never know," Knuckles said. "Hey, what about that place?" He pointed to a small restaurant with a sign that said "High Hill Steakhouse."
"Steak? Wouldn't be my first choice, but I'm game," Joe nodded.
The two walked in and ordered some steaks, which arrived in no time at all. The atmosphere in the restaurant was lively and inviting, and their lunch tasted so good after a morning of hard training that they hardly noticed anything else.
"Wow, that was actually pretty good!" said Joe as he finished eating. "Let's get the check."
As he looked for a waiter, the smile on his face immediately disappeared when he saw that everyone in the restaurant had turned into bedsheet ghosts.
"Whoa. Are you seeing this, Coach?"
"Yeah." Knuckles was looking himself over, in awe of his now furless skin, muzzleless face, and— "I've got pants now!"
"Wait, what?"
Realizing Knuckles was seeing something entirely different, Joe grabbed the echidna's ghostly form and dragged him out of the restaurant. Although he looked like a spirit, luckily he was still quite tangible.
As they left, Joe noticed water splashing up from the ground every time he took a step, but there wasn't a puddle to be seen anywhere. He realized that was the least of his problems when he started looking around, trying to figure out where to go. Every building had an arrow on it pointing in a different direction.
"So many arrows. And so many ghosts," he muttered.
A bedsheet ghost hovered up to him. "What's wrong with you? You're actin' like I did that time I ate some weird mushrooms in the jungle."
Joe smiled at the familiar voice. "Sticks? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad to see you… sort of see you, anyway. Long story short"—he jabbed a thumb behind him—"I think that place needs a health inspection."
"What happened in there?" the badger asked.
Knuckles decided to interject, "Aww, Sticks, you look adorable as a human!"
"Uh, what?" Sticks asked.
"We're tripping out right now," Joe explained.
"You poisoned yourself just to take Knuckles down with you?" Sticks speculated. She shook her head, disappointed. "You're not too smart, are ya?"
Joe gawked at her. "Why would I—Ugh, how long is this gonna be a thing with you?"
"A while," she shrugged. Before the conversation could continue, Sticks' communicator lit up. "What's up?"
"Sticks, Eggman's on the loose again," Tails answered. "Find Knuckles and Joe and meet us there."
"Roger that." Sticks shut off her communicator and began pulling her two comrades along with her. "Alright, you two. Unmelt your brains and come with me!"
Sonic, Amy, and Tails were smashing robots left and right as Eggman looked on from above.
"Wait for it," the doctor muttered to himself. When the three got close enough together, he hit a button, causing a small cannon to lower its cylindrical head from the bottom of his pod. With a dull swoosh, it launched an object that landed between the three heroes and burst on impact.
"What the—?!" Sonic yelled out. When the smoke cleared, he discovered his right index finger was stuck to Amy and Tails's index fingers in a three-pronged Chinese finger trap.
"Hahaha! Perfect! And to think, I got this idea from my subordinates," Eggman said proudly, recalling an image of Cubot stuck in one such trap.
Just in time, Sticks arrived on the scene with the rest of the team.
Once again, Joe was singing. "Time is a valuable thing! Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings! Watch it count down to the—"
"Please. Do you really think I'll fall for that again?" Eggman scoffed.
"I'm not trying to trick you!" Joe replied in a panic, pointing. "They said they'd leave me alone if I sang for them!"
The villain and heroes all looked to see that he was pointing at absolutely nothing.
"They ate some bad steaks," Sticks explained.
"High Hill Steakhouse?" Eggman guessed.
Sticks nodded, "Yep."
"Why didn't they just go to Meh Burger?"
Sticks shrugged and joined the battle. However, she and the rest of the team had to watch themselves. Knuckles' and Joe's condition caused them to take wild swings, hoping that they were aiming for Badniks. This resulted in them nearly hitting their teammates a couple times.
"Gimme a second." She hopped up and whacked Joe and Knuckles upside the head with her boomerang.
Joe shook his head and blinked a couple times. "Wow, that actually worked."
"It also bruised," Knuckles rubbed his head.
Eggman nodded. "Yes, yes, that's all well and good. Now, back to my regularly scheduled scheme." He fired another trap from his pod, ensnaring Sticks, Knuckles, and Joe this time.
The badger and human looked at their bound fingers and then at Eggman.
"Why him?!" Sticks cried at the same time Joe said, "Why her?!"
The doctor chuckled. "Heh. Internal strife already? Lovely."
Eggman's robots advanced on the group, forcing them to try to fight. Knuckles dragged his unwilling partners toward a robot crab. Joe and Sticks were left flailing, trying to avoid shots from the Bee bots flying overhead. Then the echidna tried throwing a one-two punch. His left fist connected, but when he tried punching with his right fist, all he accomplished was hyperextending his index finger and yanking his teammates off their feet, causing them to land on top of him in a heap.
Sonic, Tails, and Amy weren't faring any better against the bots. Amy was struggling to keep up with Sonic and Tails as they ran as they ran and flew respectively, and Tails couldn't lift both Sonic and Amy off the ground to fly. Sonic attempted to do a spin dash, but this only got him more tangled up with his friends.
Amy was the first to get up and swung her hammer one-handed, smashing a few robots. As it turned out, they were all a lot more effective when they weren't trying to move. Meanwhile, Sticks threw her boomerang, destroying a few Bee bots. Joe thrust his sword repeatedly to ward off attacks by the bots on the ground.
More bots started closing in on the two trios. Knuckles smashed his free fist into the ground again and again, creating a shockwave that rippled out to destroy the bots surrounding his group. However, it also caused his friends to lose their balance and fall over, dragging him down with them.
"Guys, get down," Tails instructed Sonic and Amy. With all his tethered friends safely out of the way, he threw a small cluster of bombs into the ocean of bots. The resulting explosion destroyed all the attacking robots, showering the team with shrapnel as they ducked and covered. Thankfully, none of them were hurt.
"Unbelievable!" Eggman shouted, frustrated that Team Sonic had overcome this ordeal. "Oh, well. You only barely held on this time. Let's see how well you do in round two! See you then!"
With that, he made his exit, leaving the team to pick themselves up.
"Alright." Sonic surveyed the group. "Everyone, Tails's workshop, now."
"I can't believe I'm literally stuck with you," Sticks complained to Joe.
Knuckles shrugged. "At least Joe and I aren't seeing things anymore. This is one plot switch I'm glad for."
Joe was confused by Knuckles' statement but ignored it and instead tried sawing through his group's finger trap with his sword. He muttered, "Steady, steadyyyyyy" in a way that made everyone feel concerned for their safety.
Knuckles was sweating, hoping Joe didn't slip up. Unfortunately, no matter how much Joe sawed, the trap wouldn't cut, so eventually he gave up. "Figures it wouldn't be that easy."
Since they'd arrived at Tails's workshop, the fox had been busy gathering an assortment of gadgets into a formidable pile.
"Alright, first we'll try the hacksaw."
After two whole minutes of sawing, nothing happened, and Knuckles, Sticks, and Joe's trap remained uncut.
"Did it work?" Knuckles asked.
"Does it look like it did?" Sonic deadpanned.
Next, Tails got out a chainsaw. "This time, you guys try cutting through our trap."
"Are you nuts? I'm not letting Knuckles near my hand with a chainsaw!" Sonic objected.
Amy nodded. "I second that."
"I'll do it if it makes you feel better," Joe offered. He picked up the chainsaw and tried pulling the cord. It was a bit awkward since he was pulling his teammates hands in the process, but that didn't stop him. What didstop him was how the power tool wouldn't start, no matter how hard he pulled. "Okay, that's not as easy as it looks. Coach, would you mind?"
Knuckles nodded and started the chainsaw in one pull. When he handed it back to Joe, Sonic and Amy began to look like they were reconsidering their choice.
"Showoff," Joe muttered. With great care, he pressed the saw against his friends' trap. However, not only did this fail as well, but the saw's teeth actually broke.
"Did it work?" Knuckles asked.
"No, Knuckles," Amy answered, annoyed.
Tails's next tool was a blowtorch. He covered Joe, Sticks', and Knuckles' hands in fireproof cloth and started torching their trap. For the third time, they failed to escape.
"Did it—" Knuckles paused when he saw everyone glaring at him.
"Okay, don't panic," said Tails. "I've got a laser cutter. Let's try that."
He, Sonic, and Amy held their trap in the path of the cutter beam—which, once again, did nothing.
"Would this be a good time to give up?" Joe asked.
Sonic shook his head. "No, we can't give up. We gotta get rid of these traps. I can't go fast with theseonandIgottagofast—"
SMACK!
He was cut off from his increasingly manic rambling by a slap from Amy.
"Thanks," he said.
Knuckles patted the hedgehog on the back. "Relax, buddy. I know exactly what we need to do."
"This should be good," Sticks said.
"We need to do some epic training, preferably in the form of a montage, to get used to fighting while stuck together," Knuckles proposed.
"As someone who's watched too much TV, I agree with Coach," Joe nodded.
"Well, it's not like we have another choice at this point," Amy conceded. "We might as well start getting prepared for when Eggman attacks again."
The two sets of three moved outside. "So, uh, how exactly do we do this?" Tails asked.
Knuckles shrugged. "I don't know. I figured it'd just come naturally to us."
Everyone facepalmed with their free hands.
"New idea," Joe suggested. "Let's just go home for the day."
The gang all attempted to go their separate ways, only to be quickly reminded that they were still stuck to each other.
"—after we figure out who should go to whose house," Sonic added.
"Let's stay at Tails's place," Joe said immediately.
"Nah, let's go to my house," Knuckles insisted.
"Knuckles, you don't have a house," Sticks pointed out.
"Oh, right."
Watching the three friends he wasn't stuck to bicker, Sonic pitched his own idea, "Seems like Tails's place might get crowded tonight. I say we crash at Amy's house."
"Right, you do like my house," Amy deadpanned. That said, she didn't object, and the three of them retired to her house for the night.
"Okay, I shouldn't have to remind you two: my house, my rules."
Things almost immediately went south, starting with dinner. Amy tried to cook, but it's hard to use both hands when one of your fingers is tied to two other peoples' fingers.
"Please, just reach a little further over here, Sonic," said Amy. "I need that lemon juice."
"I'm trying, but Tails is kinda in the way," Sonic snarked.
"Not on purpose!" Tails protested.
The argument stopped when Amy caught a whiff of something in the air. "Oh no, my fish!"
She'd been so preoccupied trying to maneuver around her friends that she'd forgotten about her main dish. She dragged her compatriots over to the oven, which was belching smoke. Opening it up, she already knew the fish would be burnt to a crisp.
"Well, there goes dinner," Sonic said.
Amy groaned. "Alright, time for Plan B." She hauled her friends over to her cabinet and pulled out some crackers. "This should tide us over for the night."
After their "dinner," the trio tried watching TV, but they couldn't agree on what to watch.
"Come on, there's an action flick I wanted to see tonight!" Sonic complained.
"I was gonna watch a documentary," Tails objected.
"Too bad. My program's about to come on and, as I said before, my house, my rules. So sit down!" Amy ordered.
The boys quickly obeyed, shutting their mouths. Not wanting to face Amy's wrath, they sat through her cheesy soap opera without complaint.
Unfortunately, they were also forced to share Amy's bed, which got a bit crowded with three people. The rest of the night didn't go any easier. Whenever one of the three got to sleep, they'd keep the other two up with their sleeping habits. Sonic was a kicker and Tails mumbled technobabble.
Amy, meanwhile, apparently needed something to snuggle with while she slept. Being so close to her friends, she ended grabbing onto them instead of one of her pillows, much to their annoyance.
The next morning, the trio decided to go check on their other bound comrades. They checked Tails's place first and found them all lying in the same spot they'd been in the previous day.
"Uh, guys?" Sonic asked. The sound of his voice roused Joe, Knuckles, and Sticks from their sleep.
"Did you guys spend all of yesterday arguing about where to stay?" Tails wondered.
"Yes," the three of them chorused as they got up.
"I take it you didn't come up with any new ideas on how to deal with these traps, then," Sonic said.
"I said we should just cut off our pointer fingers, but these guys aren't as tough as they act," Sticks said, jabbing a thumb at her partners.
"If you're so eager, how about I cut you loose right now?" Joe shouted, drawing his sword.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, Joe!" Knuckles stopped him by grabbing his wrist.
Sonic chuckled. "Nice to know I'm not the only one going nuts from this." His smile faded as a look of realization crossed his face. "I think I just got an idea."
"That idea being—?" Amy prompted him.
"Eggman put these things on us because he thought it'd hurt us," Sonic began. "If we can make him think they're actually helping us, maybe he'll take them off for us."
"That sounds great and all, Sonic," Tails said. "But how do we do that?"
Sonic grinned. "I have a plan."
"Oh, this is going to be good," Eggman chuckled. Riding atop his Eggmobile, he floated into the village with another group of robots to prepare for the day's battle.
"Which type of Badnik do you think will get each member of Sonic's team, Cubot?" Orbot asked from his sidecar.
"Well, I think a Bee bot will shoot that human again, a Moto-bug will get the pink one, and I'm still deciding on the rest," Cubot replied.
"Who cares which bot destroys who?" Eggman pointed out. "With their fingers stuck in those traps, any old bot could do it."
"That's what you think, Eggman!"
The doctor and his minions saw Sonic and his team arriving on the scene.
"While this does save me the trouble of hunting you down, I wonder, how'd you find us so fast?" asked Eggman.
Amy shrugged. "Word spreads fast when a big group of robots shows up in town."
Sonic grinned. "You're gonna regret putting us in these traps, Eggman. They've actually made us better fighters."
"Say what now?" Eggman said in disbelief.
"Let's show 'em, guys." Sonic proceeded to pick Amy up bridal style, careful not to tangle their arms in the process. With Tails flying alongside them, this allowed him to run at full speed with no consequences. Amy used her free hand to swing her hammer and smash any Badniks that were in their path. Tails kept pace in the air, using a laser pistol to shoot down any Bee bots they passed.
Knuckles grinned at his friends' success before turning to Joe and Sticks. "What's our plan again?"
"Nothin'. Sonic just told us to improvise," Sticks reminded him. "By the way—Joe, behind ya!"
At her warning, Joe held his blade in reverse grip and thrust it behind him, impaling a Crab bot. With that done, he went back to holding it normally and returned the favor.
"Both of you, duck!" His friends crouched, making it safe for him to do a wide, sweeping slash with his sword, destroying two Moto-bugs.
Sticks threw her boomerang and destroyed a Crab bot.
"Huh, that gives me an idea," Knuckles thought out loud. "Joe, give me your sword."
Joe was a bit reluctant about the request but decided to trust his coach. He handed his sword to Knuckles, who immediately threw it.
"Hey! What are you d—" The young man cut himself off at the sight of his sword spinning along an arc similar to Sticks' boomerang. The sword soon returned to them. The trio's eyes widened, and they all ducked as it flew past them and landed in the ground, pointy end first.
"Wow, that thing doesn't obey the laws of physics at all," Joe commented.
Feeling they'd shown off enough, Sonic began boasting. "Any more finger traps you wanna give us? I'm sure they'd help us even more."
Eggman was flabbergasted by the sight of the team's success. "I don't think so!" He flipped a switch and fired some beams from his Eggmobile. The beams hit the teams' traps, causing them to disintegrate.
"Hah!" laughed Eggman. "Just try to use those fancy new skills now!"
"Man, you're a sucker," Joe and Sticks said, glaring at each other when they realized they'd spoken in unison.
"I believe you just got played, Doctor," Orbot commented.
"Yeah, played like an old record," Cubot added, earning a glare from the doctor.
"Alright, everyone, spread out!" Sonic instructed. He then realized one thing was amiss. "Uh, Amy? You can let go of me now."
Amy blinked before realizing she was still clinging to him. She quickly let go. "Uh, heh, sorry."
Now able to mobilize better, the group took out the remaining Badniks in no time at all.
"You think you're so clever, bluffing me like that!" cried Eggman. "Well, one more round from my new weapon, and you'll—" He was cut off when Tails fired a shot from his pistol straight into the barrel of his cannon, causing it to explode.
"And this is for tyin' us together!" Sticks yelled as she threw her boomerang. It hit the doctor in the head, prompting a chuckle from some of her friends.
Eggman muttered angrily but took the hint and left the scene.
Sonic sighed contentedly. "Finally, I can go to my own house."
"Yeah, I think we've spent enough time together," Tails chuckled.
The group stood in silence for a second.
"Catch you guys tomorrow?" Knuckles asked.
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"See you then."
The rest of them agreed.