Mayor Fink sat in his office, frowning as he sifted through a list of complaints. "Ugh, popularity is falling again. What does it take to keep these people happy?!"
One of his assistants, a monkey, gave a suggestion, "Proper leadership?"
Fink glared at him, "If I wanted someone's opinion, I'd ask my yes man." Hearing a noise outside, he looked out the window to see Sonic and his team engaged in yet another battle with Eggman. "Hmm, I think I just got an idea. I'll do what Sonic always does."
"You'll engage in heroics and directly save people?" the assistant guessed.
"What? No, that'd just get me killed," Fink refuted. "I'll do something big and attention-grabbing. That should get people behind me."
Sonic roundhouse kicked a Moto-bug. "Everyone else doing okay?" he asked. He looked over to see a Crab bot had grabbed Joe by the ankle and was swinging him around and around before throwing him through a wall. "You alright, Joe?"
"IIIIIIIII'm every woman!" came Joe's voice from the other side of the wall.
Seeing his team finish off the rest of the Badniks, Sonic announced, "Well, guess our work here is done. Knux? Maybe take Joe to a doctor?"
The gang nodded and walked away to do whatever miscellaneous junk they had planned for the day.
The next day, however, everyone got a small surprise.
"Did anyone else find one of these on their door or near their house?" Tails asked, holding up a flier.
Amy nodded and looked at hers, "The mayor is hosting a talent show in three days? Sounds like fun."
"I dunno. Seems fishy," Sticks said, paranoid as usual.
"Talent show, huh? I think I already have something in mind," Joe said, putting a hand to his chin. "Anyone wanna join up with me?"
"No thanks, I've got ideas of my own, and they're all solo acts," Sonic declined as he walked away.
"Aww. Any of you guys wanna-" Joe cut himself off as he saw that the rest of the team was already gone, save for Knuckles. "Wow, that was fast."
Knuckles put a hand on Joe's shoulder, "Don't worry, buddy. There are plenty of extras in town you can ask."
"Extras?" Joe repeated.
"See ya!" Knuckles walked away, leaving Joe by himself.
The young man took a deep breath, "Okay, there's gotta be someone to do a routine with me." Walking around, he immediately began eliminating people. "Hmm, Leroy the Turtle? Eh, too old, plus, he's a turtle. Not exactly agile. Charlie and Belinda? Villains. Ah, little walrus boy. Seems like a logical choice."
Joe walked up to the kid, "Hey, wanna join the talent show with me?"
"Sorry, mister, but I'm already going by myself. I'm gonna play the kazoo," the boy answered, pulling out his kazoo and playing it a bit to demonstrate. "Also, my mom says I shouldn't go off with strange men."
As the kid ran off, Joe furrowed an eyebrow, "Thanks for making me sound like a creep…Well, back to square one."
"Sounds like you need a partner."
Joe turned to see Eggman. The young man's wide eyes quickly became half-lidded, "I actually shouldn't be surprised you're gonna enter this thing. Why don't you just team up with Orbot and Cubot?"
Eggman crossed his arms and deadpanned, "Think about what you just said."
"…Okay, good point," Joe admitted. "Still not partnering with you, though."
Eggman grumbled and walked away, muttering "Your loss."
Joe shrugged and kept looking through town for a partner. "Wow, there's so many people I don't know the names of. Guess that's what Coach meant by 'extras.'" He scanned over the area one more time, "Come on, there's gotta be-well hello there." He stopped as he spotted two identical purple whatever-they-were. Walking up to them, he broke the ice. "Hi there. Perci, right?"
"I'm Staci," the one he addressed corrected him. She jabbed a thumb at the other one, "That's Perci."
"Oh, uh, my mistake," Joe scratched the back of his head. "So, you guys wanna team up? I've got some ideas for a dance routine."
The twins looked at each other and shrugged.
The new trio made their way to the rec center, where squabbling almost immediately began.
"Nirvana." "Dude-itude." "Crush 40."
None of them could agree what band to get down to.
Perci scoffed, "Nirvana? Really? What are you, middle aged?"
"I'm 19, thanks for asking," Joe corrected angrily. "And I have other ideas. You guys like Green Day?"
"…Is every band you like some old classic?" Staci asked rhetorically.
"Not all of them! I just-" the young man sighed. "Look, you guys like pop music, right?"
"Yes." "Very much." Staci and Perci answered respectively.
"Then I have a couple ideas." Joe sifted through the music option on his communicator and showed the twins some suggestions. Thankfully, they happened to like one of them. "Finally. Now we can start coming up with some choreography."
Just then, a blue blur sped by all of them.
"Was that Sonic?" Perci wondered.
"Yep. Preparing whatever he's got in mind for the show I presume," Joe nodded. An explosion sounded in the distance. "That was probably Tails." He and the bandicoots perked up and put hands to their ears, hearing what sounded like piano music in the distance. "And I assume that's Amy."
The evening of the talent show came in no time, with the whole village assembling at the village center.
"Spoiler alert, I'm gonna blow you guys out of the water," Sonic grinned.
"Funny, coming from a guy who can't swim," Joe chuckled. When Sonic glared at him, he raised his hands defensively, "Hey, I keep offering you swimming lessons."
"I wouldn't go saying I've won if I were you, Sonic," Amy smiled, "I'm confident in my own act as well."
"Hello, losers," Eggman said as he walked up to the group. "I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think I've got this thing in the bag."
"You're gonna cheat, aren't you?" Sonic deadpanned.
That made the doctor chuckle, "Oh, you can read me like a book."
As Eggman walked away, Amy asked, "What's your act gonna be, Sticks?"
"I'm not in it. Last thing I need is to be in plain view. If people get too many pictures, they could use me for fraud, or worse, creepy fan art," Sticks explained, cringing at the last part.
"Then you can be on Eggman duty for tonight," Sonic said, "May the best talent win…And trust me, I will."
"This is Soar the Anchorbird, covering our village's first ever talent show," the eagle reported. "As the show is about to start, we find ourselves asking two questions: who will win, and who around here even has much talent to begin with?"
The mayor stood on the makeshift stage, "Welcome, everyone! Without further ado, let's get to our first act!"
Said first act was Og the Frog, whose talent was playing the banjo…badly. When he was done, there were maybe one or two sarcastic claps.
"Ugh, that wasn't even worth sabotaging," Eggman commented from his spot way in the back.
Next up was Tails, who got up on stage with Zooey. Cuing some music, the two foxes took each other's hands and began doing the tango.
The audience was smiling in approval. Joe even wiped away a tear, "He's learned so well."
Eggman glared, "Okay, this is looking a bit too promising." He pulled out a gun and fired it. A fine, nearly-invisible wire shot out from the gun and wrapped around Zooey's leg. The doctor yanked the wire, making Zooey fall.
Tails caught her before her back hit the ground, putting the two of them in a dipping position.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Eggman muttered. He retracted the wire and fired it again, this time wrapping around both dancers' torsos. Before he could pull it taut, though, a sharp rock flew in and cut it. "What?" He tried again, this time, scanning over the stage. This time, he saw an orange arm reach up from under the side of the stage and throw another sharpened rock to cut his wire.
Sticks chuckled from her spot underneath the stage. She heard the music end and heard applause. Peeking out, she saw Tails and Zooey taking a bow, meaning that they'd finished their dance in peace. "Mission accomplished."
The next act was Eggman himself. The doctor deployed a few small drones to create a laser light show.
"Man, I hate to admit it, but that was actually pretty good," Sonic said, wide-eyed.
After Eggman was Amy, who displayed a quilt she'd knitted. At first, no one was impressed, but then she revealed the kicker: depending on how she folded the quilt, the pattern would change. One fold would show diamonds, another circles, and so on.
As the audience was about to applaud, Eggman snuck up behind the stage with a flamethrower all lit up and ready to go. Just before he could fire, though, a bunch of water splashed on him, dousing his fire. He looked to his left to find Sticks holding a now-empty bucket.
The badger shook her head and walked away.
Sonic took his place up on stage. He aimed a thumb at the mountains, "Wanna see me run to that mountain and back?...Wanna see me do it again?"
And once again, the audience applauded.
Next up was Mike the Ox doing a juggling routine.
Sticks scanned all over, seeing that Eggman was no longer in the audience. She did notice a glimmer of light and peered further, spotting the doctor with a sniper rifle. Before she could do anything to intercept him, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to find Orbot and Cubot behind her.
The two robots held out a golden spatula, making the badger go "Ooooh."
At the sound of laser fire, Sticks turned to see that, while she was distracted, Eggman had sniped the balls Mike was juggling, ruining his act. Sticks glared at the robots for distracting her and pulled out her boomerang, prompting them to flee.
The penultimate act was Joe, Perci, and Staci, who stepped onto the stage. Joe snapped his fingers, cuing the music.
Play Domino by Jessie J
I'm feeling sexy and free. Like glitter's raining on me.
Perci, or at least, the one the audience assumed was Perci, went first while Joe and her sister stood back. She swung her arms left, then right, then 360. She then moonwalked back a few steps before handspringing forward.
You're like a shot of pure gold. I think I'm 'bout to explode.
The bandicoot did a brief heel toe shuffle before quickly spinning 360 degrees. She then dropped down into a perfect split before rolling forward and springing back to her feet. Staci stepped up to join her sister.
I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air. Now I'm breathing like I'm running 'cause you're taking me there. Don't you know? You spin me out of control.
Perci began cartwheeling counterclockwise in circles around Staci while Staci did pirouettes clockwise. After a few seconds, the twins stopped and separated. Perci rolled toward Staci, who front-flipped over her sister.
Staci threw a roundhouse kick, which Perci ducked under. Perci then immediately tried a reverse leg sweep, though Staci jumped over that too.
The twins began moving in sync. They crossed their feet and stuck their arms out before spinning 360 again, slowly moving away from each other.
Joe finally took his cue and stepped up in between the girls.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. We can do this all night. Damn, this love is skintight. Baby, come on.
The trio stomped their feet several times. They then did an Irish step dance.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Pull me like a bass drum. Sparkin' up a rhythm-
Joe held his sheathed sword out horizontally, allowing the two girls to hop onto each end of it.
"Okay, this is looking way too impressive," Eggman glared. Said glare turned into a grin as he held up an RPG, "So impressive that they'll end with a bang."
"Hey, Eggman."
Eggman looked to his left as he pulled the trigger to see Sticks, "What?"
The badger grinned, "Made ya look."
Eggman looked back to the stage to see that, because he hadn't looked where he was aiming, his rocket landed behind the dancing trio, ultimately enhancing their performance with a background explosion.
Every second is a highlight. When we touch, don't ever let me go. Dirty dancing in the moonlight. Take me down like I'm a domino.
The bandicoots had dismounted from Joe's sword, and the three jumped up, clicking their ankles. Joe began spinning in place, with each sister taking one of his hands. He spun them around for a few seconds before tossing them into the air. Perci and Staci posed while Joe got down on one knee, flexing his arms. The girls landed on his shoulders as the song ended.
"Well, that certainly was something," Mayor Fink commented. "The final act will have to be pretty good to top that."
Joe lightly elbowed his dance partners, "I'm liking our chances." His eyes widened though when Knuckles, with much effort, carried a piano onto the stage.
"I get the feeling you just jinxed us," Perci commented.
"I probably did," Joe admitted.
They were proven right when Knuckles began to play a beautiful piece. A piece so elegant, so majestic, that mere words in a fanfiction couldn't begin to properly describe it.
Tails, Amy, and Zooey, plus various members of the audience actually teared up at the performance.
Mayor Fink walked up on stage, "Congratulations, muscle man. You are the winner of this talent show."
Knuckles was ecstatic, "Really!? Awesome! What do I win!?"
"Uh," Fink droned, having not thought this part out. He hastily made something up, "A great feeling of satisfaction!"
"Really," Knuckles smiled and put his hands on his hips, "That's really satisfying."
The main gang and the audience all exchanged glances at such an underwhelming prize, but shrugged and decided to resume applause anyway.