In the end, it was Arthur who convinced Merlin that he was ready to remember.
The sun had risen. Merlin had insisted that they get their bearings first. They had their breakfast early so that they could avoid the others who might be over eager.
Then, Merlin suggested they go walk out along the ocean. He was extremely anxious, far more than Arthur. Arthur noticed this and said nothing, but led him lead him out across the streets.
Arthur flinched when he saw cars.
"What...what are...they?" His eyes had the same look as a fawn might when jumping into the road. Wonder of a newborn, and something like fear, but too fascinated to be wary enough.
"They...oh...they're like carriages..but they have no horses. Rather, a furnace of powerful oil makes the wheels turn." Merlin tried to explain. Arthur's jaw dropped.
"Are they safe?" He tilted his head, disturbed. Merlin chuckled, amused and heartbroken at his wonder at everything about him.
"Yes, they are safe. Come, Arthur...The sea air will help us think of what we must do next." Merlin found that, in many ways, Arthur had been rendered childlike by resurrection. He might have fussed at Merlin for telling him what to do when he was the zealous prince of Camelot, and later its king under great duress.
Today, his eyes turned to him, with the wonder and trust of a child, but the sobriety of a man whose soul had grown deep. Merlin put an arm around his shoulders and led him to the shoreline.
They stood there for a long, long while in the solace of the sea. The wind swept over them. Arthur stared out over the shoreline. This was the first mother he had known, bereft of the woman who had given birth to him from infancy. The sea cooed to him, called to him, scolded him and rushed to his need for peace. He looked as if he could weep, and his ears were pricked, knowing her voice now in a way a child knows his mother.
Merlin stared at him in wonder, pondering him. It was like looking at a ghost. But he was so alive. An exclamation point against the skyline and the sand. His soul was fathomless as the ocean that he had risen from, and he was so alive that it made Merlin feel as if he would crumble under the glare from him.
After a long moment, he turned to look at Merlin beside him.
"Alright. Let's have the potion, then." Arthur frowned.
"Are-are you sure?" Merlin felt his hands shaking.
Arthur nodded.
"Merlin..." He smiled at him, tenderly. It was Merlin who was balking at this.
"I-I..."Merlin shook his head, and gulped.
Arthur took him by his shoulders. He nodded.
"We must." The way he said it reminded Merlin of how truly old they were by now, having passed through the 25 ages in cycles of repeating life, sometimes stuck in time loops, sometimes spit through the same life more than once, never able to prevent Time or the battle of Camlann from having its way.
"I know..."Merlin was shaking.
Arthur tilted his head, smiling at him gently.
"I wish it didn't have to hurt this much...but Merlin which is the greater torture? To know, or to not know?" Arthur cringed. Merlin looked at him then, as if he had transformed into a creature. What he said was so profoundly horrifying, and yet, Merlin realized he was right...
He nodded, consenting at last. Then, he reached into his coat and produced the bottle.
"Wait..." Merlin had a thought.
"Merlin..." Arthur scolded him gently, trying to reach for the bottle.
"No, wait...Trust me...This will be the easier way..."Merlin took Arthur by his arm and led him over to the waterline.
"What are we doing?" Arthur asked, curiosity getting the better of him.
Merlin smiled.
"The ocean was the vessel that brought you back to life. The magic that knit your body back together should still be coursing through the water, for some time, possibly from now on. In a way, you are part of the ocean now, a creature born from the sea..."Merlin laughed at the look on his face, a brow raised in a way so typical of the young Arthur. It hurt, but it was humorous, and Merlin's constant urge to weep in his presence came up instead as a choked laugh.
"What I'm trying to say, Arthur...If you were to lay down in the water, while you take the potion, whatever ill it might cause you, the magic that resurrected you should soften the blow." Merlin smiled.
Arthur studied him for a moment.
"Alright, well if you say so. You know more than me about all this magic business..."He let Merlin take his arm. Merlin handed him the potion.
"I'll hold you under the water at first. Don't worry, I won't let you drown." Merlin chuckled at his pursed lips.
"I think it would be counterproductive, wouldn't it? After all the trouble that's come of my coming back to life." He nodded. Merlin was shaking still as Arthur reached to pop the cork out of the bottle. He paused for a second and studied Merlin.
"What?' Merlin felt vulnerable all of a sudden at the extremely tender way he was studying him. Arthur had been more guarded in his past life. This Arthur had no walls up, and it unnerved Merlin sometimes.
"Are you alright?" Arthur smiled now, seeing he had caught Merlin off guard.
"What do you mean?" Merlin swallowed hard, trying to hide the panic on his face.
"I just want to make sure you can breathe before I follow through with this. You look as if you could keel over." Arthur laughed, nervously.
Merlin reached and hugged him. Arthur let a surprised "oof" sound. Merlin stood back.
"I-I just needed to do that first. Okay, yeah I'm alright.. Let's get this over with before I can't go through with it." Merlin smiled. Arthur nodded and knocked the potion back. His eyes rolled back in his head and turned bright white.
"Oh, what?!" Merlin cried out and pushed him under the water desperately. He thrashed around as if he had been electrocuted.
"Oh...no, no...this...this is a lot worse than I thought it was going to be..."Merlin sobbed. The magic from Arthur's resurrection surged up like the bubbles in cola and glowed white. Arthur's thrashing stopped. Merlin lifted him out of the water. His eyes were still completely rolled back in his head and his head shifted about as if he was looking in different directions.
"Arthur?! Can you hear me?!" Merlin shouted.
"What's wrong with him?!" Emma had been drawn to the shoreline when she couldn't find them. She wasn't sure how, but it had been the magic she shared with Arthur telling her something was wrong. Hook ran up behind her, panting.
"Save us! What's happening to him?!" Hook held his throat, mortified.
"I...the potion. His memories are worse than I thought..."Merlin pushed Arthur's hair back over his forehead, looking for any way he could to console his torment in that moment.
"I had thought...the water from where he revived would help, but...Oh, this is so much worse than I thought it was going to be..."Merlin was weeping shamelessly now, and cradled Arthur to his chest.
"Is there something we can do? like...oh wait..." Emma gasped. She hit her knees beside them, reached out and put her hand on Arthur's forehead, trying to use some of her own magic to help him. His face turned towards her, but he did not revive. Rather, he reached out and clasped her red leather coat.
"Emma Swan...?! Beware the Gatekeeper of the Spirit World...Beware the price..."Arthur spluttered.
"What...are you talking about?" Emma begged.
His eyes closed then and he fell back limp and cold as death in Merlin's arms.
"No!" Merlin shouted, mortified.
"Is he...?" Emma couldn't think.
"What was he saying?!" Hook hit his knees beside them all.
For a moment, they all knelt there staring at Arthur who was blue and looked as if he had died once again, even though he was faintly breathing. After a moment, the glow came back to his skin and his eyes fluttered open. He looked up at Emma first.
"Emma..."He swallowed.
"Hey..what happened to you?" Emma gasped.
"I...um...the memory potion..."he blinked.
"Oh, my side..."His teeth gnashed and his hand reached up to a space under his ribs. Through the hoodie he was wearing, they saw blood come up.
"Whaaa...Oh God..."Emma gasped.
Merlin quickly reached and tried to heal him.
"M-Merlin..I recall what happened to me now..."Arthur hissed through his teeth as Merlin closed the wound.
"Alright...take it easy...You just had something awful happen to you..."Merlin's voice was bouncing up and down, more upset and pained than Arthur by what had just happened.
"But we haven't got time...The Gatekeeper and Nimueh have a pact. She made it with the Gatekeeper when she was sacrificing me..." Arthur collared Merlin.
"See...when...when Nimueh sacrificed me...it was the first time that a witch ever performed the Spell of Darkened Heart. She...uh...she...cut...she cut my heart out while I was still alive, Merlin. By stabbing me with magic blades that would ensure I did not die until she had done as she meant to do...Then, she crushed...my heart in a goblet and made me drink the magic she made from it..."Arthur whimpered then...his lips turned black and blue.
"Mmhhmmm?!" He whined like a child and touched his lips, leaning back in Merlin's arms. Tears were running down his face. Black tears. Blood tears.
"Oh dear God! What's happening to him?!" Emma gasped.
Merlin was so horrified by what he was seeing that he had frozen. For the first time, he was understanding what exactly he had done to save his life.
He had gotten to the altar so late that Nimueh and the Gatekeeper were already gone. Arthur had been quite pale and cold by then, not yet dead, but still suffering from something invisible. Merlin held him as he died, too out of his mind to even know if his sacrifice had worked. What had hurt Merlin almost as much as Arthur dying in his arms, was not knowing what he'd had to go through, all alone. Now he knew that he had died by himself in monstrous agony, and it made Merlin want to rip his soul and body apart from each other.
Hook, realizing Merlin and Emma were rendered immovable by horror, gently reached and took Arthur's hand down from his lips.
"Alright, mate...Alright, here..."Hook gave Arthur his metal hook hand to hang on to. Arthur grasped it desperately. He leaned back and suddenly shrieked in pain in such an unholy sound that sea gulls died of fright, dropping from the sky.
Arthur's companions were petrified for a moment. They sat beside him completely frozen with fear, unable to move or speak. Arthur continued to weep and cough up blood for a few moments after they heard his cry of pain. The sea began to wash over him as the magic that revived him was soothing the wound. His eyes fluttered back open.
Hook realized after a moment that as Arthur was holding onto his metallic hook for dear life the magic that had slaughtered him had frozen the end of it. Gently, Merlin reached and pried Arthur's hand loose of the hook. He pulled him closer to him, using his scarf and the sea water to wash off the blood that remained on his face and lips. His lips had returned to their natural color now, but he was shivering, teeth chattering.
"Nimueh and the Gatekeeper have made a pact..The ritual...that they used to sacrifice me to stop Morgause's plot...I think they must have taken some of my blood from the altar while they were draining it all into cups and bowls. They mixed a magic potion from it...I heard Nimueh make a pact with the Gatekeeper to grant her immortal, revenant life until she could use the spell to completely bring to ruin all of the magic created by my birth...and by my death." He reached up and took Emma by her jacket.
"She means to do worse than kill you and your boy...Just as she did to Merlin of old, she will attempt to turn you...And use you to pervert the magic of this world and all who live in it with a curse darker than the last..." Arthur grappled Emma.
"Mark me well...she covets the magic that created you. It was the magic that set in motion my father's reign of terror against her kind...you...must guard your heart, Emma..and your son. The boy is in danger...You must put a guard over your hearts somehow...prevent her from casting her curse for a time until we know how to break it..."He nodded intensely, commanding her now. Emma looked at Merlin.
"Okay, Teach. I think this is something you're gonna have to show me how to do, right?" Emma looked frantic but she was keeping her voice calm. She had absently taken Arthur's hand as he continued to shiver, falling back in Merlin's arms with his teeth chattering wildly.
"Yes, that is a spell I have mastered. We must do it with haste." Merlin nodded and smoothed Arthur's hair back again.
"Shh...shh...let's take you back to your room. You've done enough for today..."Merlin gently swept Arthur up. He motioned for the others to follow him back to Granny's so he could perform the spell for Emma and Henry while he saw to Arthur.