Thanks for your patience. For the guest reviewer that commented about the bad smells of the time, that is absolutely correct. So, imagine how bad Percy and the Mushroom House had to smell to horrify Caroline, as being so much worse than all the background odors.

68. Co-Conspirators

Percy left to get ready to make the call upon Lady Henrietta and before he departed from the house his dentures were back in. Now knowing how uncomfortable they were (and how disgusting they were, too), I knew this would never do.

Although Percy's valet, Mr. Sem-? Mr. Stun-? Mr. Sin-? I had not paid sufficient attention before, did not answer to me, I knew I needed to speak with him about what could be done to help Percy. As Mrs. Mecham had said, "We must do what we can to serve the master to the best of our abilities." There was no time to lose in doing just that, and to do that I would have to enlist other people's aid. As I thought about the matter further, it occurred to me that perhaps his valet was in over his head when it came to certain things or perhaps his affection for his master was overwhelming his common sense. So instead of trying to find him I decided to seek out Mrs. Mecham again for she seemed likely to have some ideas of how to serve the master without negative repercussions in a masterful dance of obeying and also doing what had to be done and I felt she would know who could be safely brought into such a scheme.

I found Mrs. Mecham peeling potatoes along with a girl who was perhaps thirteen, her flaming hair pulled back in two tight braids, a mass of freckles upon her face. I would have never had such a girl in Charles's employ (too young, too ugly), but I rather thought I would not get to be nearly so choosy as the mistress of the Mushroom House. Not knowing whether the girl could be trusted, I asked, "Mrs. Mecham, may I speak you alone?"

"But of course, Lady Lancaster." She addressed the girl, "Now Hattie, fetch me two parsnips from the root cellar." The girl hurried away, clomping heavily. When her footsteps faded, Mrs. Mecham told me, "We have two minutes at least, but likely three or even four if she daudles, as is likely."

"Mrs. Mecham," said I, determined to get to the point right away, "I keep thinking about what you said before, that 'We must do what we can to serve the master to the best of our abilities.' I have been thinking there are some things that perhaps can be changed for the good of the master, that the staff may have some helpful ideas. Perhaps we ought to have a meeting of sorts, but only of those that can be trusted. For I would not want anyone openly talking to others about anything that might embarrass Lord Lancaster."

She considered, and I could tell when he made up her mind to trust me, for she gave a single nod. "Then you should meet with the housekeeper, Mrs. McHenry, his valet, Mr. Samuel, and me, for the rest of the staff have not been here very long and like the others before them, I doubt they shall stay long either, for it takes a sort of fortitude to work here."

"Yes, I know."

"When should you wish to meet?"

"Right away, while Lord Lancaster remains from the house."

She nodded again. Just then, I became aware of Hattie's clomping growing louder as she returned. "Ah, not much daudling this time, I suppose she did not see our young gardener about."

Hattie thrust her bundle into Mrs. Mecham's hands.

"No, Hattie, this is not right. You brought me carrots. Parsnips have a similar shape but are sort of a yellow-white color and are much thicker. Take back these carrots and try again."

Hattie grimaced and clomped away, harder this time, her displeasure demonstrated by her hard steps.

Mrs. Mechum shook her head, "Once I have trained her up decently, if I can that is, she'll be gone. And if I cannot, well then she will likely linger. The master is too tenderhearted when it comes to his servants, but perhaps you will not be."

"Should you want someone gone, I shall see to it."

We arranged to meet in the front parlor in a few minutes, Mrs. Mechum agreeing to fetch the others after she set Hattie to finishing the potatoes, bemoaning, "Of course I shall probably return to half peeled potatoes in irregular chunks browning on the table."

Having nothing to do, I hurried past the mushroom farming rooms to the parlor and opened the windows to the street. It was loud and smelly in its own way, but allowed for a breeze to air out the room. When all were assembled, I closed the windows again and began.

"I plan to meet with you all regularly about how to help Lord Lancaster and improve the running of the house. The task for today is to determine what can be done to clean his dentures as he is unwilling for the moment to procure new ones. Mr. Samuel, what has been done thus far?"

Mr. Samuel listed what he had tried with frequent interruptions from Mrs. McHenry questioning his methods and suggesting what else would be efficacious. Mrs. Mecham's only contribution was to say, more to me then them for they seemed to have forgotten us entirely, "If boiling would ruin them as Mr. Samuel insists it would, I have nothing to add."

I said "We shall leave you to it, then" (which I doubt they heard), and I walked Mrs. Mecham out. It occurred to me then to mention as an aside that which perhaps I should have kept to myself. "Should all else fail, then perhaps your method would solve things rather neatly for then he would needs must get new ones."

She nodded thoughtfully but prudently said nothing.

I returned to the sitting room I shared with Percy and began making some calculations about what I could safely spend from my dowry each year and my needed expenses. It was a frustrating endeavor for of course I had to pay my maid, procure dresses and the like, and Percy had not yet told me what my pin money would be. I expected he would exercise the same frugality in giving me funds as he did for the household budget. That made me think about what he must have paid to refresh my room. I entered my chamber and looked at it with fresh eyes. Everything within was of good quality. Then I wandered into his room, which I had not yet seen. Everything within was rather faded or shaby. And I had been upset with the lack of purple in my furnishings . . . .

Yes, I had been chosen to be his bride for my appearance and dowry, but perhaps, just perhaps there was more to it than that. Percy's willingness to talk freely with me and share those letters, to even consider changing some aspects of his personal habits to please me, this boded well for a marriage of respect and even affection.

When Percy returned, he shared freely what he had learned, that Hatchington had drugged Mrs. Darcy with laudanum, likely with the plan of having his way with her while she knew not what he did. He told me, "I hope you know that I would never give you mushroom tea or the like without so much as a by your leave and I think it a far different thing for a man with no such rights to use such a technique to get at an unwilling woman."

"Yes, indeed," I told him. "I never saw any commonality between the two acts. But now knowing what sort of man Lord Hatchington is, surely you will decline his dinner invitation."

"No, indeed," Percy replied. "I have a notion of how I might deal with him, which I shall not share as yet, for I am still considering possibilities. I shall send a note accepting his invitation, shall say we are available tomorrow." Percy explained, "Linny, I know it is odd that we will dine with such a wretch, but we need to keep up appearances. It is said that one must know as much of one's enemy as one can. I am hoping that I shall learn of some way to help Linny short of hiding her away. But it depends upon Hatchington having no hint that anything is wrong. Can you pretend things art ever as they were, be as friendly with him as before?"

I thought back to how Hatchington had propositioned me when it was not yet an hour since I had spoken my marriage vows. I also thought about his little improper comments now and then, when I was yet a maid, a guest in his house. With further reflection I believed he indeed wanted to take me as a lover, the thrill of it probably being that it would be done right under Percy's nose.

It had never occurred to me to confide in my husband before, but given his willingness to listen to me, I thought I should tell him. "Percy, I shall try my best, but there is something I think you should know. Part of why I think Lord Hatchington capable of everything Lady Lavinia wrote in her letter and what Lady Henrietta told you occurred at her ball besides is . . . well . . . that is to say . . . . Do you recall seeing me with Hatchington together in the music room, right before you and I left for the inn?"

"Yes." Percy's eyes narrowed in suspicion and his voice dropped lower. "What did he do?"

"Well, he very crudely suggested that later I should become his lover."

Percy grimaced and clenched his jaw even as his eyes grew resolute. "I do not like this, not at all. Would that I could have you simply stay here, not accompany me to dinner. I would not have you near a man who would do and say what he has done. But we must both act as if you have never told me."

"Yes, we must." I considered further. "Just what are you willing to undertake to keep me and your daughter safe?"

Percy looked at me, considering perhaps my loyalty. "Perhaps it is wrong of me to even think it, but how much better all might be should he suffer some unfortunate calamity, which would either remove him from this life or render him incapable of harming another."

"Would you . . ." I drew a finger across my throat in a slashing action.

Percy hesitated in answering, so I added. "I should not think less of you if you did, so long as it could not be connected with you. For I should not like to lose a husband just after gaining him."

Percy looked about, then even opened the door and looked both ways down the hall before closing the door and locking it. In the quietest of whispers by my ear (which wafted his horrid denture breath against my face as he had not removed them yet upon coming home), he declared "I might, if I thought it could not be found out. I had thought to dose him with some deadly mushrooms, but I should not want anyone else to suffer harm. Should I bring any such thing into his house, others might eat of it also and it would soon be determined that I had supplied them. If I had something prepared in this house, well the cook would surely sample the dish and serve it to the whole staff as has been our practice, would only not do this if I told her of the plan. But I should not want to bring anyone else into a conspiracy to end his life."

"Is there not anything that is such a delicacy that he should not be willing to waste it upon others?"

Percy shook his head. "I cannot think of anything like that."

I saw a way forward most clearly then. "Not even the mushrooms which enhance a man's performance with his wife?"

Percy curled his lip as he considered. "I suppose what I take might give a man in his prime more stamina, but what should he need with that when his wife be not about?"

"Well, if he had a lover, or even the hope of one, say a woman he found desirable who had lately married an older man, he might want to use such mushrooms to prove his vigor and how he was superior in every way to her husband."

I saw the moment he understood.

"You are suggesting I offer him the mushrooms I used on me, but give him a deadly variety instead, which he will be glad to take if he thinks he might be with you?"

"Yes, that will induce him to take them willingly at a time of our choosing, to share them with no one else. After that, he can be a threat to no one else."

"Would you willingly engage in such a scheme?"

"Yes," I whispered back.

"Would you be able to pretend at welcoming his attentions? Agree to a future tryst if he suggests it? You will of course not go, never. But it would be useful if he thinks you would."

The idea disgusted me, but the hope of getting some revenge on Hatchington for his vile proposition, for all he had done to Lady Lavinia and even Mrs. Darcy (for though I did not like her, not at all, that did not mean I wished for her to be assaulted), and most of all for matching me up with the Mushroom King while undoubtedly knowing all about the Mushroom House and being paid for such services besides, that was appealing to me. While it was tolerable being married to Percy, and I was coming to like him quite well, despite his eccentricities when it came to him mushrooms, Hatchington had certainly not intended that such a match be for my benefit but to instead line his pocketbook.

"Yes, if the opportunity presents itself, I shall hint at my interest."

"I can arrange that it does, but never fear, I shall not step out of earshot though I will make sure he thinks I will. Let us consider the matter further tomorrow."

We separated for a time and when I saw Percy again for dinner in our sitting room, he was newly washed, which I could tell as his hair was still damp, and better yet I smelled no obvious odor about him. He explained, with his half gummed mouth (for he had put his dentures aside) that he had sent Mr. Samuel to procure him gloves and tools that he would wear while working with his mushrooms, and besides this had his valet trim his nails short and scrub his hands many times with a boar bristle brush and strong soap. He even held his hands out to me for me to smell. While there was a faint lingering odor that must have been imbedded in his skin itself (but hopefully would vanish as his skin renewed), it was much improved and I told him so. In seeing his efforts to please me despite what it might cost him (for I saw that it was indeed more laborious for Percy to eat as he had to slide his fork into the side of his mouth to get the food off it, but otherwise he seemed to manage well), with his mouth fresh and pleasant and his hands clean, I was eager to reward him. It was I who said as we stood to part, "Percy, tonight I shall be glad to have you visit me."

When he came to my bed, it was I who leaned into him and initiated a kiss with our mouths. It was quite pleasant and the other things he did were pleasant, too, and when he slid atop me and into me, I wrapped my arms and legs about him and pulled his closer still. Oh, how he praised me afterwards! "Linny, you are such a marvelous wife. None could have been better. How blessed I am to have you as my wife!" He seemed most earnest and sincere and oh how pleased I was to receive such praise.

Friday morning, we traveled together in his carriage to see the warehouse he planned to use for his mushroom farming. I liked that he wished me to see it. While there he continued to speak to me about his techniques. It was much more than I could retain, but I resolved to learn what I could as this was evidently of keen importance to me. I suppose I had began to accept that if he was the Mushroom King, I was the Mushroom Queen.

That afternoon, we talked further about the plan to rid the world of Lord Hatchington. Perhaps it was evil and vile of us to be plotting, to take on the role of God in parting a man from his life, but I found something delicious about being the ally of my husband in such a way. We worked out how we would manage everything. It was not to be resolved all in one evening, would in fact take several steps.

When we left for the dinner with Lord Hatchington, Percy was wearing his dentures again, which were just as vile as before, as unfortunately Mr. Samuel must have not figured out any method of cleansing from his discussion with the housekeeper. Interestingly enough, in just the little time that he had taken to not wearing them, his speech had become clearer as he had adapted to making certain sounds without his front teeth, now I could scarcely tell a difference.

Lord Hatchington was at his most charming and insisted that I take his arm into dinner. It was just the three of us. We ate and laughed, and all was much as it had ever been. I made sure to enjoy the heavy-laden table as I did not know when I would dine so well again. Given that it was only three of us, after dinner Hatchington suggested "Let us forego the separation for a while, although perhaps later we might have a tipple." He said the latter to Percy.

Percy agreed but then added, "I shall need a moment. You no doubt understand how it is with a man my age." By this, he suggested that he needed to use the necessary.

"Not at all," said Hatchington. "I shall keep your dear wife well entertained."

I felt a stab of fear before recalling Percy promising he would not be out of earshot of me.

Hatchington talked about nothing of consequence for a minute or so, likely waiting to make sure Percy was well away. From having stayed in his house, I knew how far the necessaries were away from the parlor.

Then Hatchington took a seat next to me on the sofa, took up my hand, kissed the top of my glove, and said in a deep and sensuous voice, "Tell me, Lady Lancaster, how do you like your marital duties with such an old man?"

I wished to snatch my hand away, but I knew I had to play the game that my husband and I had agreed upon. I shrugged. "It is tolerable, I suppose." I fluttered my fan. "But I am angry at you for not telling me about the mushroom farming and my husband-to-be's relative poverty." I closed my fan and lightly tapped it against his chest in a manner I hoped would be interpreted as playful, flirtatious.

He laughed, "I suppose that was poor form of me. I tell you, Caroline, I wish I had still been an unmarried man, so I could have married you instead of silly Lavinia."

I knew it was all a lie, but I pretended to be most flattered, even added, as I opened my fan and half hid behind it, "I wish I could have married you, too."

"Ah, but such is life, but that does not mean we need to miss out on the better parts of married life."

"That's easy for you to say. You are rich and can satisfy any of your desires. I know what rich men do with actresses."

He shrugged. "Actresses are all well and good, but . . . " he leaned forward and cupped my face, "keeping it in the family is so much simpler." I wished to pull back, but I forced myself to submit to this touch, to even smile at him. "Tell me, my dear, are you missing the idea of having new fine clothes to wear? You still must have pin money from your remaining dowry, so it is not all bad."

"I suppose," I leaned back, away from him, but to my dismay he simply leaned forward into my space, "but I shall need to be careful that it does not run out."

"Have you thought about what it should be like to have a real man? I can get you all those pretty things that women love so. I will not require much of you, and I am sure it shall be far better with me than it is with him." He reached a hand toward me, and I feared he would seek to touch me intimately. The thought was abhorrent to me, but I did my best to not let my feelings show.

Fortunately, just then I then heard the door open. Hatchington sprung away from me. When Percy entered there was a suitable distance between us, although we both still sat on the same sofa.

Percy frowned slightly. "Perhaps we should go," he offered.

"Nay, do not leave yet," Hatchington rejoined. "Let us have a quick drink. You do not mind us leaving you alone for a bit, do you Lady Lancaster?"

I murmured my assent. The men went away for perhaps a quarter of an hour and then Percy and I left.

In the carriage he said, "Although my ears do not hear as well as they once did, I believe I heard more than enough to confirm that Hatchington still seeks your favors."

"Yes, my lord, he does. I did as we agree and did my best to hint at my possible willingness, although it was difficult not to shy away from him when he grasped my face. I did not like that at all."

"All is well," said Percy. He whispered, "I have taken the first step and if he comes to a bad end, it shall be his own fault."

I inquired of Percy as to what he meant, but he shook his head and said "later."

It was quite late by then, so we agreed to retire when we returned home. I was no sooner in my bed when Percy joined me. His clean breath informed me that his dentures had been removed and his mouth cleansed. He told me, "I suppose I should not be surprised that he desires you. For you are very desirable to me." He held me tight and soon we were lost in our duties. We did not speak more until the morning.

While we were still abed, I inquired of Percy as to what he and Hatchington had done the night before. Percy explained that he had given Hatchington a sample of the dried mushrooms he regularly used to enhance his performance with me, and they had even bartered that if Hatchington liked the results that perhaps Percy would deliver him regular quantities of this in lieu of the money he owed Hatchington from my dowry. Percy told me, "He believes that others would be interested as well. If I do not miss my mark, he hopes to sell what I shall deliver to him for quite a tidy profit."

"That was brilliantly done, my husband," I told him, leaning into him and running my hand down him.

"Perhaps better yet, I have told him that the effects are even stronger when the mushrooms are fresh and ground into a paste, reach their peak when they sit for one day and then quickly spoil. I shall prepare this myself, so he shall not be wise to the substitution of a different blend, shall deliver it to him when we dine with each other again. Unless I miss my mark, having received these, he shall try to arrange a tryst with you for the following day and willingly take his full dose shortly before you are to meet."

"I suppose, then, I must agree."

"But you will not go," Percy said. He tenderly pulled me close and whispered hotly in my ear, "For you are mine, and mine alone."

"Yes, I am yours as you are mine." I found his hardness and grasped it with my hand. "Never fear, I have no desire to be with such a vile snake, no, indeed. If we are lucky, that will be the end of him." We then lost ourselves in certain activities that were most pleasant indeed.

A/N: I plan to wrap this up with one more chapter, from Elizabeth's POV and then an epilogue.