Caitlin woke up the next morning to the sound of laughter coming from the living room of her parent's house and she recognized Maddy's laughter. Smiling softly to herself, she glanced at the clock – six in the morning. Not too bad. She was up at four the day before. She swung her legs out of her bed and slid into her robe. Tying it around her waist, she walked out of her bedroom from her youth – the memories she shared with Cisco whenever he came over – and into the living room. "Mommy!"
Caitlin smiled at Maddy, bending down, and opening her arms so she could get a proper hug. "Hi button. Did you sleep well?"
"I slept good, mommy!" Maddy replied, hugging her tightly around her neck as Caitlin rubbed a hand up and down her spine.
"Do you want some breakfast, Maddy?" Caitlin asked her daughter from where she was crouched in front of her.
Maddy bobbed her head. "Yes please! I'm hungy!"
Caitlin laughed gently. "Well, then let's get your tummy fed, baby."
She walked into the kitchen, her mother following after her and explaining there was a fresh pot of coffee made. Caitlin went ahead and put Maddy's favorite toast – cheese toast – in the oven and then poured herself a mug of coffee. Taking a quick sip of it, Caitlin looked towards the oven, checking on the cheese toast so she didn't burn it. There had been an accident or two in the early days of Maddy's breakfast and Caitlin had a lot to teach herself about being a mother. Of course, her own mother helped as often as she could. Carla Tannhauser loved Maddy as much as she loved Caitlin and even though both her mother and father hated the way she came about, they were the perfect grandparents to that little girl.
"Mommy, can I have some milk?" Maddy asked and Thomas, who walked into the kitchen just then, was quick to pour her a glass as Caitlin took the toast out of the oven. Putting her breakfast on a plate, Caitlin accepted the glass of milk from her dad and walked over to Maddy, settling her food in front of her.
"Enjoy, baby," she said, carding her hand through her daughter's auburn, messy curls. How she got curls, Caitlin would never know, but she loved her daughter's hair. Maddy munched on the toast, sipping her milk the next moment.
Caitlin looked towards her mom and dad. "Don't forget I'm going to take Maddy to the park this morning."
"With Barry, right?" Carla asked, a knowing look in her mother's eye. Caitlin dismissed the look and looked away. She nodded her head as she stared down at her daughter.
"Yeah, Barry said he wanted to go," she replied, trying to keep her voice nonchalant. Her mother knew about her crush in high school – she had spent many a night lamenting over the fact that he was with Iris and her heart was breaking. It was rather pathetic now that she thought back onto it.
"Well, I think it's great that you're spending time with them again," Thomas said as he sat down at the table and watched Maddy eat. Caitlin frowned at her father.
"I know you do," she sighed. "Dad, why did you tell them I was coming back?"
"Caity," Thomas sighed, looking at her beseechingly. "They were your best friends at one point. They need to be in your life. You're not going to be able to stay strong without them."
Caitlin's eyes fell to her daughter, who was still munching happily on her toast. "He's right, mommy!"
Laughing quietly, Caitlin sighed. "I know he his. You'll get to meet Barry properly today."
"He seemed nice. Said I was pretty!" Maddy enthused and Caitlin smiled gently.
"You are pretty button, but more importantly, you're smart," Caitlin reminded her.
Maddy beamed. "Like you, mommy!"
Caitlin smiled. "Yeah, button."
They fell silent then, with Caitlin watching her daughter as she ate. Maddy was so young, too young to know how she was conceived and, even if she was old enough, Caitlin didn't have the heart to tell her. She didn't resent her little girl; not in the slightest. So why bring that type of unwanted pain into her life? She opted to keep the truth to herself; her little girl didn't need to know such horrors existed in the world. Not yet, anyways.
XXX
The morning passed by and soon enough, there was a knock on the door at eight forty-five. Right on time. Caitlin opened the door and hitched a smile in place when Barry smiled back at her from the other side. "Hey Barry."
"Good to see you, Cait," he said quietly, soft smile still adorning his features as he appraised her. "You look good."
"Thank you," she murmured, then held the door open for him. "Come in, come in. Maddy is just going to the bathroom really quick and then we'll be on our way to the park."
Just then, Maddy walked down the hallway. "Done, mommy!'
"Did you wash your hands?" Caitlin asked knowingly, and Maddy shifted around guiltily.
"Uh," she trailed off.
"Button, you know what happens when you don't wash your hands," Caitlin warned, curving her hands into monster shapes. "The...GERM MONSTER will get you!"
"No, no!" Maddy shrieked with laughter, turning on her heel to run away from Caitlin, who was chasing her. "I'll go wash them again!"
Caitlin stood up straight, laughing as Maddy high-tailed it back into the bathroom and she turned to look at Barry as the water ran. "Sorry about that. We're going through the "I don't like washing my hands" phase."
"That's okay," Barry replied with a chuckle. "She seems like a terrific kid."
"She is," Caitlin agreed with a smile. "Couldn't have asked for a better one."
Barry opened and shut his mouth, nodding his head with a half-smile. "So, the dad?"
Caitlin felt a pang of fear every time she thought about Jay or he crept into her mind unbiddenly. She shook her head. "Not an active member in her life." She left it there and Barry got the hint. Maddy walked out just then, spotted Barry, and ducked behind Caitlin's leg.
"Hi," her shy voice was muffled into the fabric of Caitlin's jeans and Caitlin smiled apologetically at Barry.
"Sweetheart, you remember my friend Barry from yesterday," she said, crouching down to the floor so she could be eye-level with her daughter. Maddy nodded as she hid her face.
"You're friends with the nice man who's going to bring me a gift later," she mumbled and Caitlin quirked an eyebrow.
"That's not why we're friends with him, Maddy," she warned her daughter and Maddy nodded.
Barry stepped in. "Its good to see you again, Maddy."
"You too," she mumbled, then pulled on her mother's jean leg. "Mommy, are we going to the park soon?"
"Yeah, button, we're leaving right now," she replied. "Remember? Barry is coming with us."
Maddy nodded. "I know."
"Okay then, if everyone is ready, let's go," Caitlin encouraged, knowing her daughter had a couple of hours' worth of play time in her before she'd start to get cranky and need to be put down for her nap. Maddy latched onto Caitlin's hand and then hesitantly offered her other one to Barry, who took it with a grin.
"What's your favorite thing about the park, Maddy?" Barry asked as they walked.
"The swings!" Maddy cried. "Mommy pushes me up, up, up into the air and it's so much fun!"
"Would you like me to push you?" Barry asked kindly.
"Will you push me up, up, and up?" Maddy wondered with round eyes.
"And up," Barry assured her with that same gentle grin cocked her way.
"That's four pushes! Mommy, that's four pushes!" Maddy exclaimed.
"I heard button," Caitlin replied. "What do we say to Barry?"
"Thank you, Barry!" Maddy replied, letting go of Caitlin's hand so she could hop up onto his back. Barry carried her the duration to the park, with Caitlin keeping an eye on her so she didn't decide to try and slide off his back before he set her down again. Once at the park, Barry tossed Maddy into the air, who laughed joyously, and then set her down on the ground.
"Race you to the swings?" Barry asked.
"Yes!" Maddy cried, taking off at a run and Barry jogged behind her, letting the little girl touch the swing pole first.
"Wow, you're fast!" Barry exclaimed and Maddy laughed, causing Caitlin, who had been walking behind them, to smile. Barry lifted Maddy into the seat and began swinging her, staring at Caitlin the next moment.
"So, you guys move into your apartment tomorrow?" Barry asked.
Caitlin nodded. "I go get the keys today and then the movers will meet us there tomorrow."
"Just tell me the time you want Cisco and I there and I'll call him tonight," Barry said.
"Oh – Barry, you guys really don't have to help me move," Caitlin replied. "I'm sure you have other things you want to be doing on your Saturday. What's Iris up to?"
"Wouldn't know," Barry shrugged dismissively. "We haven't spoken in two years."
Caitlin was floored. "What?"
Barry cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. She took a job in Starling two years ago. Haven't heard from her since."
That didn't sit right with Caitlin. "Oh, Barry, I'm so sorry."
"Its okay," he replied, smiling. "We weren't super healthy together in the first place."
Caitlin didn't know what to make of that; didn't know if she was supposed to make something of it. She nodded but didn't offer up a verbal response, unsure of what there was to say in the first place. She looked back at her daughter, then Barry out of the corner of her eye. He was smiling down at her daughter, laughing as she asked to be pushed higher and higher. He kept one hand on the swing chain and the other on her back, rather protectively. Caitlin received a jolt when she noticed that. Her father – Jay – didn't care about protecting anyone or anything. He had assaulted Caitlin after all, and she knew he would have made a bad father. Barry was looking at her daughter with warmth in his eyes and she regretted never introducing them before.
They went to the slide when Maddy got tired of the swings, Barry racing her there, too. He sat behind her, at her request, and they slid down the slide together, Barry making sure she didn't go flying through the air ever. Caitlin's heart was beating warmly inside of her chest as she watched the two of them, wondering, yet again, why it had taken her so long to come back home. Had she come back home when she was first pregnant, she probably would have had all the support she needed. Her parents were great but she needed her friends. And she had kept them at a distance and for what? Because she was ashamed a guy roofied her and then raped her? Caitlin knew she wasn't being very fair to herself. "Still with me?"
She blinked, giving her a head a shake to clear it as she looked back at Barry apologetically. "Yeah – yes, I'm here. Just thinking about some things."
"Hmm," he hummed. "That sounds purposefully vague, Ms. Snow."
Caitlin laughed; she couldn't help it. That's what he always said anytime she didn't want to divulge information. He would try to wind her up into telling him what was bothering her most times but he seemed to respect her choice not to talk about it this time. He just smiled at her and went back to the top of the slide with Maddy. They played for another solid hour before Maddy started yawning. Caitlin went to go pick her up but was surprised when the little girl held her arms out to Barry. Barry looked at her and Caitlin nodded, so he picked her up and settled her on his hip. He smiled when Maddy pushed her face into the crook of his neck.
"She's tired," Caitlin stated apologetically but Barry shook his head.
"Its fine, Cait," he said quietly. "Let's get her home and in bed. I'd be more than happy to order us a pizza or something. I'm not quite ready to let you two go."
So that's how Caitlin found herself twenty minutes later. Barry ordering a pizza after putting Maddy down for a nap and Caitlin wondering what on earth was to come.