When I felt the familiar throbbing in my head, I knew something was wrong. My stomach didn't seem to be doing so good either. At first I thought the throbbing in my head was just from crying myself to sleep. I had just left someone and well…

My body wanted rest but my mind wanted adventure. I hadn't realized how amazing it was to see the sunset and not worry about going to sleep tomorrow. Again, my head throbbed and I realized how sick I really was. With even a moment of sitting up, I was too tired to do anything else.

If that was difficult, then knowing there's no one else to help you is even worse. I had woken up panicked, looking for anyone for comfort. Yet, when I was met with a wall and an empty area, I knew it was a false hope.

Settling back into bed, I picked up Gone with the Wind again. The cool soft cover throwing me out of my thoughts. I was to the part where some gallant men ran into war. They reminded me a lot of Sodapop.

That thought hurt me badly.

Again I wished for Sodapop, for him to make me his chocolate cake that was too sweet. For him to joke with me and talk with me until the day. Maybe it wasn't just him I was missing. It was anyone.

With a newfound understanding of myself I made myself get up. The car keys caught my attention and with a quick shower I was out the door. The map I had was marked with places I wanted to see in New York. Although, one place in specific had my heart.

Dallas had told me about where specifically the "wild side" of New York was. He also told me some gangs he was in and how he got in. With the car slowly speeding up on the highway, I knew for a fact that maybe I couldn't go back. If I did, would I be the same? Or will I have changed in a way I didn't know?

My head continued to ache as I drove. Every so often I found myself on the other side of the road. At first I wanted to be angry at the people cussing me out, but they had a good reason so I couldn't be angry.

When I made it to the "wild side" I could really see why it was called that. There were syringes and blood on the ground. A faint pungent smell harassed my nose, even worse than the one at the diner.

From behind me I could hear some faint gunshots. My hand instantly went to a switchblade I had. Wait- I checked my pocket again. No switchblade…

Mentally I panicked, if I didn't have a switchblade- would I be killed? There's no saying they play fair here so maybe I really would be killed!

"Hey kid," a deep voice called. I turned around suddenly and saw someone. They looked similar to one of the Brumly boys.

A large body, one that could compare to Darry's, stood in front of me. It was obvious that he had been here longer than I have even lived. He was tuff, with a scar that ran down his forehead to his eye. Although, his eye wasn't damaged, unless you could count the glare it seemed to hold.

"Y-yes?" I mentally cussed myself out. I had stared at this man and then stuttered. I really needed to use my head more-

"Ya from 'round 'ere?" His accent was so thick I almost didn't know what he said. With a bit of vague words I was able to pick up, I shook my head.

"Ya the 'ne they talkin 'bout?"

Again I shook my head. Although he must've caught my confused expression.

"Come with me kid," he started to walk and I followed. I tried to ignore the ache that seemed to grow in my head. I remembered where I parked the car, just a few blocks in a nicer neighborhood.

I tried to keep my mind on where I was, instead of where I would be. Keeping tabs on all the scenery helped me to keep my eyes open instead of drooping. My body didn't want to move as fast as it could, with my legs seeming to lock in place.

The guy guided me to a warehouse. The smell that came from it wasn't welcoming. It seemed like blood was coming out of it as muffled screams were heard. He seemed to pause.

"Ya know Winston?"

With the mention of that name I froze. I knew Dallas had been in these gangs before but I didn't expect them to remember him! He had been gone for a whole 5 years. Unless it was someone else…

"Which?" Was my answer. I vaguely remembered the chat me and him had once. We had been talking as my dad went to get something for us. Dallas had been joking about my dad, saying about how his could never do anything like that for him.

One thing had led to another and it ended up with Dallas crying on my dads shoulder. I had been there, trying to help the best I could. Still, I remembered him telling me that his dad was still here, in New York.

I felt someone touch my back and everything went black. It felt too cold then too hot. Suddenly it was like I really was reliving that memory. Although, instead of my dads voice, it was- TWO-BIT?

There were some hushed whispers and some yelling. My mind seemed to race and tried to remember what was happening. Slowly I opened my eyes, peaking out into the warehouse. Except, I wasn't near the warehouse anymore, I was in a run down apartment on a weird couch.

There was a new smell, cheap cologne and cigarettes. Although I could catch the slight waft of a cigar in the mix. It smelled better than the warehouse but it didn't make me feel any better. Being here and looking at two people that didnt seem the happiest to see me didn't really seem all the pleasing…

Dallas caught my eye and I saw a flame in his eyes. Gently I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep again. There was a faint rustling and it sounded like he was next to me.

"Kid, wake your ass up," his voice was demanding. It scared me to think what would happen if I didn't open my eyes but I've tried so many new things already. It wouldn't hurt to try one more new thing…

I laid still and I felt him shake me. He shook me until there was another voice again.

"Stop that Dal. You're gonna hurt him more than he already is," Two-Bits voice was gentler than I've ever heard it before. Almost as if he was telling a rabbit that it was okay to go into his arms.

Suddenly I felt horrible, I felt so sad for everything. I missed my gang and I regretted what I did to Kitty. Then my mind raced to now. What was happening? How did they find me?

"Kid had his eyes open. He's awake I know it," Dallas said, although he didn't sound too sure of himself. His breath seemed to be lost at every other word.

"Maybe he's delusional again…" Two-Bits voice went a bit quieter as if they were listening to my breathing. Subconsciously, I held in my breath.

"I think ya needa lay off on that kid! Ya know 'im?" A deep voice came from somewhere. The apartment must've been empty because it echoed again and again. Dallas seemed to get up and go to the person. When I thought no one was near me, I cracked open my eyes again.

The sight scared me something awful…

Dallas was there, with someone that looked similar to the guy that took me to the warehouse. Maybe everyone in New York had a big build. Or maybe everyone in New York just looked tough. Although… not every man in New York looks similar to Dallas Winston.

Not unless they were his old man. His dad. His- his reason for leaving this place…

The guy caught my eye and I shut it quickly again. Not bothering to try and listen as to what they had been arguing about.

"Gig is up kid, I saw you open your eyes," Two-Bit said using a more teasing tone. I knew that if Two-Bit saw it as well then there would be no point in lying. I sighed and sat up.

I made a point to look down, for some reason, looking at Dal or Two scared me. Two sets of heavy footsteps came near and seemed to settle in front of me.

I was able to see the floor that seemed to be covered with mold. I could mostly see that I was on a brown couch. It was a fake leather and didn't feel that good to be laying on. I wanted to see the roof but decided against it. If I did then I'd make eye contact and that didn't seem like the best choice.

From a set of the shoes in front of me, the smaller of the pair walked to me. My nose picked up on the cologne but I couldn't pinpoint whose it was. The smell of cigarettes was heavy on him though.

"What the hell were you thinking kid?" Dallas yelled at me. I flinched involuntarily back into the couch. That shut him up pretty quick. After a moment of silence I continued to look down.

"Look at us Pony," Two-Bit said as he crouched down to my eye-level. I looked at him and couldn't help the tears that fell.

He pulled me into a tight hug and I could see his tears.

"Glory kid, you scared us something awful," Two-Bir cried as he picked me up. It felt childish to be picked up like that so I tried to push him off.

"Cmon kid! We go searching for three days and you don't even give us a hug?" Two-Bit joked as he finally put me down. I smiled, it had felt good to see them. I didn't forget Dallas but I didn't expect him to do anything.

"Kid, if you ever do something stupid like this again, I'm gonna skin you," Dallas said before he pulled me into a hug. I stiffened but hugged him back.

"I'm- I'm sorry…" was all I could say. The tears were coming back up and I felt the hole in my heart come back.

"It's okay kid… let's just go back okay-"

"NO!" I said suddenly pushing Dallas away and interrupting Two-Bit. They looked shocked but then angry.

"K-Kitty s-shes-" I remembered why I was guilty. Then I remembered why I even came to New York. I would've driven to the countryside if it wasn't for her. Now that I had left her, would she even make it?

"Why do you care about her?" Dallas yelled back. His voice was harsh and I was backed into the couch again. I felt the keys in my pocket and looked around. There was a door-

"Answer me!" Dallas yelled, "You made your brothers worry themselves sick just so you can run off with someone you just met? Then make us come all the way here-"

"I didn't ask you to!" My voice is exasperated. This is starting to feel like an argument with Darry instead of Dallas. I could feel my anger and repressed feelings come back. The sadness of never feeling like enough.

It was too much for me. So I got up and ran out the door. I didn't know where I was running. I didn't know anything anymore. My mind ran to where I had been or what had happened and nothing came up.

All that was on my mind was making things right.

The address in the book cover kept me going. If I could make it to that place then Kitty would be there. I would be able to say sorry and then… then what? Have her get beat up by my gang?

What would she think of me? What does she think of what I did to her?

When I ran past the warehouse empty from the screams I knew where I was. I may not use my head all the time, but I had a good time remembering things. Then when I made it to the car I looked at the address and then on the map.

The address was the warehouse.

My blood went cold as I tried to put the address to anything else. Yet, the street names lined up and the numbers did too.

They weren't looking for me but ended up doing so. They were looking for Kitty.

Was I too late? Or too early? What would I do? What could I do?

That place wasn't no damn library.

Were those screams hers?

How late am I? Most importantly, what could I even do now?