She looked up at the sun, its blooming light hid behind the emerald leaves, and let out a content sigh.
She felt so secure and free,but it wasn't because of the sunlight or the beautiful woods surrounding her, but because of Rad's strong yet gentle arms around her, because of the steady rhythm of his breathing and his calm way of… being him.
Rad's love felt warm and kind, it made her feel cherished in a way that sparkled mischievous flames and playful butterflies inside her. Rad's love made her heart race and yet it felt mature, in a way she had craved for since… so long ago…
—--
A woeful howl pierced the silence of the night. Long and ragged, more akin to an animal's cry than a person's sound, yet it was fitting for the feelings behind his voice.
Loss… Pain… Grieve… Fear…
He had let out every one of them, crying while he rested his head in Frisky's lap.
Bosco could feel her fur growing wet with his tears. She cradled him and cooed, coddling him as if he was a beaten, broken, motherless pup… which was very fitting…
"Mum- Mum…", he sobbed and muttered into Frisky's fur, trembling as he felt her soft hands caressing his scalp in such a calming way…
"….Ahhh… kind, beautiful Frisky… how on earth did your compassionate and joyful heart fixate its gaze on my own, ever hurting, heart?", he thought.
He sighed away a long breath and looked at her in the eyes, while cupping her creamy cheek. Bosco smiled ruefully "You deserve heaven itself, Frisky…", he said to her. "Thanks for coming so quickly, I love you…"
And he honestly meant it.
She returned his smile.
"Why wouldn't I? You need me…" she said, her hands now above his heart, as a shield against pain.
He looked up at his mothers empty bed, Frisky followed his gaze and let out a sadness laden sigh. "Do you need anything, my love?" she asked.
"I- I haven't called my siblings yet… I need to-"
"Oh! Do you need me here by your side or -'' She looked at him after a brief pause…he was averting his eyes… She noticed how his shoulders slumped and his tail hung sadly… he was in need of privacy for this, and he was asking her for it without speaking. So, she instantly followed his cues, happy to provide whatever he needed to, even solitude if that was the case. "I'll leave you to it then" she said with a kind smile, "I'll make some tea for us in the meantime, just call if you need me…", the spaniel added, leaving him alone in the room.
"The way in which she understands me is almost frightening" he thought, smiling ruefully to himself.
After some time, with his duty fulfilled, he went to the kitchen, and paused before entering it, just to admire Frisky going through the simple chore of preparing tea.
It was night, yet somehow the lamp on the ceiling filled the small space with a warm hue that lightened up the golden tresses of Friskys fur, so she was inadvertently sporting a golden halo around herself.
She looked so absorbed in her task and yet so calm, so serene and beautiful at the same time!
So much so that a flame of need sparkled inside him, and the sheer necessity to keep this wonderful vessel of calm at his side ignited a searing question inside him.
He went to her and took the kitchen towel out of her hands to press her petite frame gently against his thumping heart.
"Could it be?" his mind flared while he kissed her adoringly.
"Could this be real love…? or I'm just a lost kid howling in need of a protecting woman?".
"Please, Bosco!", his mind pleaded to himself, "let it be real!".
Frisky stayed with him that night to keep the lingering shadow of death away, but only that night… he wanted to make it right.
—--
"How would it be to share everyday of my life with Frisky?"
Rad could imagine it, and the very thought of it made his heart race. He saw himself finding new joy in mundane tasks just because of Frisky's presence beside him.
He wanted her to trust him with her daily business, to help her, to make her feel cherished and protected, gosh! He even wanted to do THEIR laundry!
He chuckled at himself, Bandit and Stripe would have chuckled at that too.
Frisky broke his inner reverie, snuggling to his side and sparkling shots of wonder into his soul, yet he remained calm, because her voice came out in a pensive way.
"After his mother passed away", she said. "I proposed to him to start living together, yet he refused time and time again".
—--
He closed the door of the cafe behind them.
It was a particularly cold winter morning.
They had just left the place holding hands, when Frisky suggested to him to move in with her… again…
Bosco sighed while looking into her eager eyes with worry, truly caring about not to hurt her feelings.
"Not yet, babe…" he said with something akin to embarrassment in his voice. " I - I, to be honest It would feel like taking advantage of my mum's death.." he exhaled. "You know how much she hated the idea of me having a relationship… and just even to feel relieved on that matter, feels …wrong to me, somehow".
Frisky embraced him, just there in the street while people passed by, at the corner that separated their daily routes.
"Oh, sweet, patient woman…", he thought.
Frisky sighed.
"Bosco, it's ok, I understand…" she didn't like it, but she could empathize with him.
She rested her head on his chest."...Besides, you ought to know that it's normal for caretakers to feel a kind of relief when their loved ones die… it doesn't mean that you hurt less nor that you didn't love her, but that you were tired, which is normal…I have seen it before, love" she said, reminiscing on the similar cases she was unfortunate enough to be a part of due to her work.
He closed his eyes and breathed in, smiling ruefully while placing his brow in hers.
She looked up into his eyes again and smiled while softly caressing his cheekbone.
"I'll wait until you are ready", she added kindly, as if time was just an anecdote to be forgotten.
They parted ways after that, he to his students and she to her patients.
"Would have… Astra, been so understanding?", he found himself thinking.
Yes, she would have, yet her style would have been different, she would have pushed him to overcome his indecisiveness in a way fitting to the force of nature she was. He smiled with nostalgia despite himself, she had always pushed, and sometimes even forced, the best of him to the surface.
"This is not right", he thought with a huff. "I shouldn't be thinking about her so often… not when I have Frisky in my life". And, oh, his girlfriend was so loving and kind that even his mother would have loved her eventually, if the circumstances had been different!
On the other hand, his mother had hated Astra since the first moment, she feared he would follow her to London given the chance, and never fully accepted the strong willed young woman…
"What had come of her? Did she finish her major? Does she have a family of her own?"
He frowned while waiting for his turn to cross the street, and exhaled in frustration.
"How can I be thinking about… Her … after so many years and after all the pain she left behind!!?? …How, when I have Frisky's love?"
"Frisky deserves better," he thought., as a reprimand to himself.
Yet, he hesitated about starting a life with her for months on end.
—--
"Hey, Rad…", Frisky said, comfortably snuggled in his chest. "You said you had planned something for us, what was it?", she added looking up to his eyes, suddenly as curious as a pup.
He smiled into her hair, reveling in its scent. "Well, I discovered such a beautiful clearing in the park, it has a stream and a deep pond with clear fresh water, and trees which dip their roots in it… I had planned to have a little picnic there…"
"Oh, with the food we just ate?" she chuckled, raising her thumb to wipe some stray crumbs from the fur on his chest with a light touch of her fingers.
Rad blushed and chuckled at the familiarity of her loving gesture.
"Yeah… and I had planned to confess my love to you in that place, but I just blurted it out inside the car… sorry, I wanted to make it special for you..". He smiled a bit contritely and scratched behind one ear, somewhat embarrassed and maybe a tad afraid of having disappointed her.
"Oh! But it was special!!", she exclaimed. "You- you don't need to make things special, Rad…" Frisky assured him, rolling over her belly to look at him better.
"Fact is…" she added with a timid smile, "...Anything you make or say is already special to me…".
Her face was so close to his, his eyes looked impossibly big and bright to her, making her heart race so fast that she could hear it pumping in her chest, and at the same time, she felt Rad's heart thumping wildly, just under her hand.
He smiled widely, so much so that his cheeks hurted.
"Oh…and everything you do is magic, Frisky…" he whispered while caressing her chin "...even the most mundane things! From the way you tie your hair to the way you treat your patients!"
Her tail wagged playfully. "So…everything I do is magic?" she asked with a mischievous grin.
"Everything, absolutely", he said with a matching smile of his own.
She resumed her previous position in his chest and closed her eyes. "Well, take note of this Radley Heeler: I don't need great romantic gestures, I only need real, living love".
He took her hand and squeezed it lightly. "That's precisely what I need…" he said with deep conviction "...and what I feel for you…".
Frisky's heart skipped a beat, feeling like willingly jumping over a cliff.
He continued in a more light way, but no less seriously. "My love will be there for you whether you want to be an epic heroine or to do the dishwashing as a team", he chuckled.
,
She laughed lightheartedly. "Ohhhh You have a gift to find happiness and beauty in everything, Radley Heeler '' she exclaimed. "And I love it… Gosh…I love it so much!", she thought with a beaming smile.
—--
Bosco looked out of the window of the teacher's room and let out a long sigh, while shutting his stinging eyes for a second, before looking back to his laptop.
He had been searching for a place of his own for a long time, he knew he could have moved to Friskys, but he wanted to invite her to move in with him in a special and romantic way, besides, he didn't want to bring her to his somber mother's house.
Yes, he wanted to create a great romantic memory for her, she deserved it.
He looked through the window, at the children playing during recess.
Not too long ago they had encountered Chilli and her children, the oldest girl was Frisky's god-daughter.
"Charming little tackers!", he thought, remembering the way the two girls waved at them when they caught them entering Java Hounds, the cafe in which they were having smoothies with their mother.
He sighed. Frisky was surprisingly good with children, she loved them and they loved her back.
"I would love to be a mother someday" she told him after the Heelers had gone, her smile bright and her eyes dreamy.
"It's something I need to do, it feels part of my path… to raise a family and to grow old beside the love of my life…"
He had looked at her, feeling strangely alien to her wish, although he could envision it… Frisky glowing with pride while looking at a sleeping child.. his child? He knew she meant hat child to be his, but…
He gulped, and yet he smiled down at her, while she snuggled herself into his arm thanks to the wide couch in which they were seated.
Bosco looked back at the rent advertisements on his laptop, and smirked.
He had never felt like being a father before, nor did he now, but he could try, if it made Frisky happy. He could give her the family she wanted so much. After all… he doubted he could do any better, there couldn't be anyone better than Frisky, right?
--
Rad knew Frisky wanted to be a mother.
"Thanks, Bluey and Bingo!", he thought, remembering the way in which his nieces had helped him to get to know her better.
He wanted children of his own too… "So if she loves me as I love her…maybe someday, if she wants it…" He couldn't help but daydream about her, giddy with happy smiles and sweetness, expecting for their child, their shared dream.
…Oh he would be so happy!
He sighed softly, while looking at her peaceful countenance, she had fallen asleep while snuggling beside him, lulled by the breeze among the leaves.
Rad couldn't help but to admire her beauty. "She looks so young…so much more than she really is!", he thought.
—--
Bosco rested his chin in his hand and smiled dreamily, remembering the last time Frisky had visited him, and her tranquil features while she slept at his side…
"She's so beautiful!" he thought, remembering the golden tresses of her hair and the silky feeling of it in his hands.
—--
"I wonder if these golden tresses will ever become white…" Rad's inner voice observed. "...maybe one or two children would do the job…" he chuckled. "Would she be too upset about it? I hope she won't, because she would still be my love, golden hair or not!"
—--
"I can't be deserving of her love" Bosco thought. "It's like some sort of miracle!"
—--
"...Hell yes, her love feels like a miracle!", sighed the heeler " …a miracle that inspires me to be a better man every day".
—--
"I will make her happy! I'll build a beautiful, happy life for her!!", smiled Bosco, satisfied about this noble purpose.
—--
" I know we can be happy! … We could build a future together, and I'll have her back through it all…" he smiled dreamily " …a life for the two of us!". Rad thought, while caressing away a lock from Frisky's brow.
—--
"Ohhh! That would be easier to achieve if I have her as my wife!". Bosco thought, a goofy grin lighting his face.
—--
"...Well, that's if she wants to have me …" Rad sighed with longing. "I'll wait what it takes for it… in the meantime, I'll just love her…"
"Bosco!!", called a fellow teacher, bringing him back to reality. "It's your turn to look after the kids while the parents pick them up".
"Oh, Righto!" He exclaimed while whisking his cup of tea.
"Keep in mind that kindy has a new boy since wednesday, so there is one more squirt to watch out for!"
He chuckled, it was good to know! Children could be a little bit anxious to leave for home, especially the younger ones, and that makes them cheekier than usual.
The school day went on the expected way, and some hours after, he was watching the kids at the entrance of the school, looking at the little ones who were picked up by parents, grannies, aunts and so on...to go to their families.
He smiled. "I should marry her… yeah, I should buy a ring after I get a house…". He smiled; that would be soon, after all, he had only three houses to check before deciding for one.
It was a lovely thought; he seemed to have finally reached a decision about it and the fact of moving on and beginning a life with Frisky felt… so sweet and filled his chest with playful butterflies and a comforting warmth… and yet, he sighed, "Why do I feel everything is playing out like a romance movie, it's beautiful, but it's not my own?", He thought.
"I'll marry her", he said to himself as a way to reinforce his conviction, "Ill love her like she deserves, and Ill make her happy!".
He looked back at the kids in the yard, and one of the kindy students got his attention.
A brown and white husky, surely the new boy.
His brows went up out of shock… "What the…?!"
"C'mon Bosco, You have just decided, don't get lost in memories about her! they're nothing more than memories!" he thought.
The kid had bright blue eyes.
"Just like…" He gulped.
He couldn't help but to follow the boy with his stare.
The little one was frowning lightly, mightily focused while observing a bird's nest perched on one of the trees in the front yard.
He observed attentively the gestures and features of the kid, and smiled because of the memory they brought to him, about the gestures and features of another face...
His little nose scrunched and his left ear flicked in such a familiar way… a way that was almost too recognizable to him, while his big blue eyes were busy and absorbed in the contemplation of nature. "Just like her… with her nose scrunching with focus over a math assignment", he thought, chuckling despite himself.
"Gosh!" he felt his heart overflowing with memories. "...Astra, would have began to sweep his tail with enthusiasm, right now…" he smiled with nostalgia, "...this little mate will not, that would be too much of a coincidence "
….But so did the boy… wagging his brown tail with sweeping motions.
Bosco was astounded. His heart was racing wildly, "What?! Why?… oh no…why does her memory still have that kind of power over me? it shouldn't be like that, she's just a memory!", he recriminated himself.
Suddenly he noticed that the little one had abandoned bird watching and was trotting away all too happily, and way too fast for a preschooler.
"Awww man, no!" He followed his young charge, he shouldn't be running that fast, he was about to get out of the school!
"Gosh! Runs too fast for having those little puppy feet!", he exclaimed while sprinting after the kid. "Hey!! wait for your Mum inside the school, young man!" he said, halting the boy by gently grabbing his shoulder.
Then, a lady's voice reached his ears. "Oleg, wait for me inside the school, sweetheart!!".
Bosco felt himself suddenly transported to the past, to the very root of a deep feeling he believed dead, while the silvery quality of the voice tingled, oh so pleasantly! in his ears and nape.
A woman had come hurriedly to the open gates of the yard, to prevent the kid going into the street.
"Mum!!" exclaimed the boy happily.
Bosco looked up.
He suddenly went out of breath.
His heart almost stopped.
…Astra…