Surviving Malfoy _ Part II : Anger and Depression
The Pixies 'Where is My Mind' - Way out in the water.
Chapter 5:
I don't hear much more from Hermione throughout the rest of July. News in general is rather quiet that month. Debbie and I make a habit of scouring through each new edition of the Quibbler, picking through its articles for valuable information, never finding all that much. We take out subscriptions for the Daily Prophet and the Owl Times as well, comparing stories from one publication to the other.
There are muggles disappearing every other day, mostly travelers on their own, but occasionally entire families vanish from their homes without a trace. These incidents happen all over the UK, and the muggle media hasn't picked up on a connection yet. In fact, they barely ever mention it when someone vanishes on their own; they are simply branded as runaways. The Daily Prophet mentions these in passing, but still, they concentrate on the hunt for Snape and Draco, sweeping any other signs of Dark Magic under the rug.
The Quibbler, however, publishes a list of all disappearances once a week. Not all of them prove to have anything to do with You-Know-Who, some of them are regular muggle disappearances and the people in question reappear a few days later. Others, however, are undeniably linked to Death Eaters. We keep our own little list pinned to Debbie's fridge.
Austin sometimes joins us in dissecting the newspapers; from time to time, he brings home information he's heard through the grapevine at work. But again, nothing valuable, nothing that would indicate an imminent change in the political situation in the UK. Things seem stable.
Casper, on the other hand, tends to steer clear of the kitchen whenever Debbie and I set out to work there. He called it morbid the first time he found our lists and newspaper clippings. He keeps up with the news in passing, more through us rather than actively seeking it out. He says he wants to keep his distance for now; he's been educated at Durmstrang and more than one of his classmates has since decided to join Voldemort. That revelation has made me a little more apprehensive of him and I keep having to remind myself that he wouldn't be here without Madam Fox's rigorous vetting.
I don't tell my mother about any of this. Although she grows more relaxed the more time passes, she still seems jumpy and uneasy whenever I leave the house. She barely lets me apparate to Debbie's on my own, instead taking Casper's offer of driving me back and forth. I don't object, still enjoying those rides despite his connections. If he were to abduct me on one of these drives, he wouldn't get very far with an entire coven of witches hunting him down. Nor would he be able to get out of the country. The US has now closed its magical borders, blocking off apparition into and out of its territory, save for three heavily controlled apparition points.
So far, no Death Eaters have tried to enter the country, not via apparition and not via muggle means. Unless one of them has crossed over before the beginning of summer or slipped through the cracks somehow, I am safe here. I'm still nervous though. Not so much now, over the holidays, but more so about the start of the new school year. Once the Avery twins are at Salem, there would be three of us wanted by the Death Eaters and we all doubt Corban Avery will let his children go quietly. Austin has been put on the case; he is on constant alert. With an intercontinental apparition pass, he is to go straight to the UK at the smallest sign of disruption, grab Poppy and Violet and bring them to safety. The more time passes, the more agitated he gets.
It is nearing the end of the month. With not much change since June, I have only my birthday to look forward to. It falls on a Thursday and after much arguing I manage to convince my mother to let me spend it with Debbie, Austin and Casper, although I haven't mentioned that we're planning on going out that evening. To dinner, nothing more, and with Austin by our side, a skilled law enforcement agent.
My sense of security takes a little hit however, when I feel heat in my pocket, emanating from an indented coin. Even though I now only ever take Hermione's coin with me wherever I go, my heart still leaps the slightest bit whenever I feel the familiar burn of a coin on me, hoping against hope - and knowing full well I shouldn't - that it is Draco's.
We're moving Harry.
I blink at the coin, my brain taking a second to register what she means, before jumping off Debbie's couch, ignoring her startled look and running up the stairs, taking two at a time, not stopping until I reach Austin's closed door. I rapidly pound on it. He opens it almost immediately.
"Do you know about this?" I hold up the coin in front of his face, not giving him time to even open his mouth in greeting.
He takes the coin from me, staring down at it, blinking just as I did seconds before.
"God dammit," he mumbles. "Ask her when."
He thrusts the coin back into my hands and I do as I'm told, swiftly waving my wand over the galleon to transform Hermione's words. Her response is almost instant.
Now.
"Oh, for the love of-" Austin's head is bent low over the coin. "Do not leave the house." He wiggles his finger in front of my face, before marching back into his room, quickly grabbing his wand and badge.
"What's going on?" Casper has appeared behind me with mild curiosity in his voice. He peers over my shoulder as I wave my wand over the coin a second time.
Be safe.
"They're moving the Potter boy." Austin pushes himself through the gap between Casper and I. "Make sure these two don't do anything stupid.
"What stupid thing do you think I could be doing now?" I say, irritated.
Austin huffs, only turning around as he pulls his shoes on at the bottom of the stairs. "I didn't really mean you."
I roll my eyes behind his back before I follow him down the stairs just as Debbie appears from the kitchen.
"They're moving Harry," I answer her quizzical look.
"Now?" She asks.
"Yes, and Austin seems to think that we're about to run off to England."
Debbie opens her mouth to retort, but Austin already has the doorknob in hand. "Laters!" He calls before vanishing through the door, letting it fall shut behind him.
"He put me on babysitting duty, so don't even think about leaving the house," Casper says from behind me.
"And you seriously think we're that stupid," Debbie rounds on him.
"Leave it," I say, stepping past her as Casper clicks his tongue and goes back into his room.
But the coin in my hand stays unchanged until eight pm, two hours after Hermione's initial message, when I send her an 'Is everything ok?' hoping for a positive answer, but nothing comes back. By nine, Debbie has turned the TV on to reruns of old Friends episodes we've seen a hundred times, but that still doesn't take our minds off of Harry. Casper comes down, for once not complaining about our choice of program, but instead he stares at the coin on the coffee table, mirroring our increasing concern.
"Have you heard anything from Austin?" I ask him.
He shakes his head. "That doesn't necessarily mean bad news though," he says when I frown. "Could you not?"
Debbie started pacing around the room over half an hour ago, biting her thumb nail while doing so. She glares, more irritated with him than I know she would be with anyone else. I'm not entirely sure it is purely out of hurt pride anymore though; she isn't one to hold grudges.
"I need to go home," I say, jumping out of my armchair. A sudden idea has struck me.
"You're not leaving this house," Casper says with finality.
I ignore him, fixing my eyes on Debbie instead. "The other coin," I say simply.
Realization dawns on her face, but she strikes my idea down as quickly as it has come. "It's a full moon, he wouldn't know yet."
I follow her gaze out of the window and sink back into the chair, curling up around a pillow.
"What other coin?" Casper leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
"None of your business." Debbie starts pacing again.
Casper glowers at her but doesn't press further.
Another three uneventful hours pass, Casper eventually manages to snatch the remote away from Debbie, switching the channel to David Letterman instead, directing several more angry looks at himself. I don't complain, nor do I move out of my cramped position on the armchair; my legs fall asleep long before the coin on the table finally glows red hot.
All three of us flinch when we see it, but Debbie is there first and I sink down on my knees in front of the coffee table, looking at her expectantly. Casper turns off the TV.
"What does she mean?" Debbie frowns and drops the coin into my open hand.
They knew.
An uneasy feeling spreads through my stomach, though I am not quite sure why.
"I don't know," I say. I dig my wand out from under the sofa cushions and wave it over the coin, opting for my most pressing question.
Are you all okay?
She responds instantly again.
No.
My breath catches in my throat and I gulp, exchanging a look with Debbie who is now sitting down next to me.
Who's hurt? I send back.
Ron's brother George. But before I can answer, the coin changes again. And Moody's dead.
"Who's Moody?" Casper asks. He has scooched up on the couch, now sitting on the very edge, leaning forward just enough to be able to look over Debbie's shoulder.
"An Auror," I say.
Who else? I ask Hermione instead.
No one, comes the answer. But they knew.
My chest tightens up and I draw a shaky breath as I wave my wand over the coin once more.
How?
"What's wrong?" Casper asks, his eyes narrowing as he looks at my face.
I don't really need Hermione's answer to understand what she is hinting at, and so I furrow my eyebrows in return as I look up at him. "The Death Eaters knew they were moving Harry," I say simply.
"So, there's a rat," Casper responds, just as matter-of-factly.
Debbie holds her hand open, and I give her the coin. Hermione hasn't responded yet, it still doesn't show anything more than my question, but she starts playing with it regardless.
"Do you have any idea who?" Casper asks, his voice level.
I shrug. "She told me at the very last minute," I say, trying to keep my voice as neutral as his. "Not that many people knew."
Debbie slows down as she twirls the coin between her fingers, and I know she's finally caught up with me.
"Do you have any idea who it could be?" Casper asks, not looking away.
I bite the inside of my cheek and eventually shake my head. "It can't be Snape and he used to be the obvious rat."
"Who was Harry moved by anyways?" Debbie asks, turning her back to Casper to look at me.
"I'm guessing the Order," I tell her. "But I don't know all that much about them to begin with, so I couldn't tell you who's likely to snitch on them."
Debbie looks down when the galleon in her hand glows red hot and raises her eyebrows immediately.
"What?" I ask, just as she looks up and said, "Well," handing me the coin.
Someone snitched.
I huff and wave my wand again.
Do you know who?
We have our suspicions.
Her answers are immediate again and I just can't shake the nagging feeling that has started to spread through the back of my mind. I know who she is suspicious of.
It's a full moon.
I respond the obvious and push the coin back to Debbie. Still, Hermione might have a point. She might just be wrong about exactly who has found out through me.
"What do you mean by that?" Casper's eyes have finally left my face and he is peeking over Debbie's shoulder again.
And before I can think of answering she's already blurted out "You know, it really is none of your business."
He glares at the back of her head.
I decide to test the waters. "Hermione thinks I might have told someone."
Casper's eyebrows shoot up. "You don't have connections to any Death Eaters."
I quickly cautch Debbie's eye, who's telling me quietly to be cautious. "She doesn't," she says.
"No Death Eaters, no," I say, adding quickly. "We should go to bed, it's late enough."
Debbie doesn't need to be told twice. She scrambles to her feet and holds out a hand to pull me onto my feet before Casper can enquire any further. He does want to, I know as much from the small wrinkle that has appeared between his brows, but we leave him sitting on the couch on his own and dart up the stairs.
"So, who do you think it was?" Debbie whispers the second she closes her bedroom door behind us.
I sigh and gather my thoughts before answering. "I don't think they told anyone outside of the Order, other than me at least. Austin can't have known, or he would have told me." I ignore Debbie's sharp intake of breath, carrying on before she can say anything. "The only other people I told are you and Casper. I trust you, obviously."
"You think Casper-"
I interrupt her. "I don't think Casper, no," I pause. "Not really, at least. He can't have gotten the message across that quickly."
"Why not?" Debbie asks. "You can get messages across to Hermione in a split second, who knows what ways they have to communicate?"
I lean my head back, exasperated. "It's so unlikely though," I say.
"Is it really?" Debbie asks. "He has Death Eater friends, he admitted it himself."
I groan. "He doesn't have Death Eater friends. He has old classmates that now follow You-Know-Who."
"And you don't think he's still in touch with them?"
"He doesn't seem the type."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know the type," I cross my arms, sinking back into the pillows on her bed.
"Are you sure, or are you just letting your feelings cloud your judgement?"
I shoot her a look, ready to retort but noticing the grin on her face, decide to grab one of her pillows and fling it across the room at her. She snorts.
I don't get much contact with the outside world after Casper drives me home on Monday morning. He stays suspiciously quiet during the drive, and I don't try having much of a chat with him either. It's obvious he is racking his brains about the previous night. He will ask eventually, but for now I am happy having him stay quiet and not pry.
My birthday can't come fast enough. My mother now refuses to let me leave the house until then, fearing somebody could already be coming after me, despite my arguing that nothing much has changed, really. Harry is simply in another place, as safe as he's been before; as safe as he ever could be. The risk to my life, or hers, hasn't changed whatsoever. The Death Eaters still haven't taken over, or even made an attempt to do so, none of them have crossed the pond – there is no evidence they even know who I am. Although, granted, I can't deny Snape knowing and very likely having told Voldemort as much.
The three days between Harry's move and our birthday are about as quiet as the rest of July has been. I don't get another word out of Hermione, and I know she still suspects me. I desperately wish to be able to speak to her, Harry, and Ron directly. But even if I could afford cross-continental calls, there is no phone number by which I could reach them and I sure as hell am not going to travel there. So, we both stay quiet. I know she would let me know if anything happens, whether it be good or bad; she won't leave me in the dark. I still keep my ears open, knowing now that they have been attacked once, it is likely to happen again. But the situation seems to be at a stand-still.
My mother is even more fidgety than usual when Casper finally honks his horn outside the day of my birthday. He still isn't allowed within the confines of the Fidelius Charm, so whenever he is due to pick me up, he sits in his car, honking in front of the approximate spot he thinks our house is in and waits for me to appear. Just as usual, I am sitting in my mother's front room, waiting patiently, but even I have to admit to being more fidgety than usual.
I haven't received many birthday wishes yet. My mother has woken me up with a slice of cake, just as she has every year, but other than her I've only heard from one other person so far and it isn't someone I am particularly thrilled about. I dug out the two coins from my desk drawer first thing this morning. Hermione's was still showing the last message I sent a few days ago. The other one, however, changed over night.
Happy Birthday.
Nothing more, nothing less. I frown down at it. I'm surprised he even knows, let alone remembers or cares. I don't respond, throwing it back into the confines of my desk drawer instead and stuffing Hermione's into my back pocket.
I hug my mother goodbye and she reluctantly lets me go with one last word of warning to be careful and not to go out. A word of warning I am still set on ignoring, wishing to see more of my home city on my birthday than the two houses I've been restricted to all summer.
I drop my bag onto Casper's back seat and sit down next to him with a sigh. He welcomes me with a grin.
"Happiest of birthdays to you."
I snort. "Thanks."
"Any idea where you want to go tonight?" He asks as he pulls away from my mother's house.
"Anywhere but Bourbon Street," I say.
"A bit too touristy, good call."
Yes, that's exactly why I want to avoid Bourbon Street. I clear my throat. "Loufoque's maybe, I don't want anything too crazy."
"The wizard's bar? Isn't that a bit too risky?"
I shrug. "Why? More people with wands means more protection if you ask me."
He stays silent for a moment. "But also, a bigger likelihood to encounter someone you'd rather not."
"They wouldn't dare show their faces here," I say. "And Austin will be there."
He drops the subject. "Have you heard anything from your brother today?"
I purse my lips. "Nope."
I can feel his smirk. "Have you sent him anything?"
I don't respond, but after a minute of silence, I take out Hermione's coin again.
Tell Harry happy birthday.
"Does Hermione have any actual grounds to suspect you snitched on them?" He asks once I am done. I'm not exactly surprised he's figured out as much by himself, but still take a moment to respond.
"Maybe." I say vaguely.
He sighs. "Should I worry?"
I don't respond as the galleon in my hand starts glowing.
He says happy birthday back.
I inhale deeply. "Don't, I'm fine," I stuff the coin back into my pocket, deciding to ignore it for the night.
I only leave the car to drop my bag off in Debbie's room, before we all climb back into it, Austin in the front seat and us in the back. It's a short drive to Loufoque's, although it's purposefully kept as far away from the hustle and bustle of central New Orleans. It is hidden away on the beaches of Lake Saint Catherine, on stilts to escape the frequent flooding and far enough away from the nearest road to avoid any muggle stumbling upon it. Only witches and wizards ever find their way into Loufoque's, but it is crowded nonetheless, as it is one of the only spots in New Orleans that is really muggle free.
Most patrons are Cajun, and it isn't unusual to barely hear a word of English inside. It is kept purposefully bright, which also makes it the safest muggle-free spot in all of New Orleans. No one can lurk within any shadows. The barroom is round, sporting large, all-round windows overlooking the water and a circular bar at its center. It is still light outside when we sit down at a table by the windows and Debbie goes off to get the first round.
"Relax, will you?" I say to Austin as he sits down with his back to the window.
He exchanges a quick look with Casper.
"You shouldn't even be out."
I flash him a smile. "You're here."
He growls. "Three hours max and we're going back home."
I roll my eyes. "I know."
Debbie returns with two firewhiskys for us, and two pumpkin juices for Austin and Casper, which causes the former's eyebrows to shoot up.
"What's the matter?" Debbie asks.
"Leave him, he's grumpy," I say, and Austin stays suspiciously quiet throughout the evening. He spends his time scanning the room, half-heartedly responding when he is asked a question, but otherwise barely interacting with any of us.
It's a pleasant evening otherwise. Granted, I grow tipsy fairly quickly, until Casper explicitly forbids Debbie from getting me any more until she's gotten some cake into me, thereby ruining her surprise. A moment later, she has the bartender bring it to us from behind the bar, seventeen candles on top, and inspiring the entire bar to sing me Happy Birthday until I wish to disappear.
The second I've finished my slice of cake, Debbie goes back to the crowded bar and Austin, mumbling something about needing the bathroom, gets up too. A short silence spreads over Casper and I, during which I don't know much else to do other than clear my throat. I spend twenty minutes in a car with him alone twice a week, yet words suddenly seem to escape me.
"So, who is it you're in contact with?" He looks at me with open curiosity and I look back, my eyes widening just the slightest. "Not a Death Eater, according to Deborah."
"I told you, you shouldn't worry," I say briskly.
"But I do."
I shoot a quick glance back at the bar. Debbie hasn't even been acknowledged by the bartender yet.
"I'm not exactly in contact with anyone," I say, sighing when Casper holds my gaze without a word. "There's a second coin, an old classmate has the counterpart. But I'm not talking to him per se. He gets in touch every once in a while, I don't respond; I wouldn't call it being in contact."
"So, who is it?"
I pause. "Draco Malfoy."
Casper's nostrils flare visibly and he takes a sharp in hale, but before he can say a word Austin has come rushing back to the table, a confused Debbie in his wake.
"We need to leave," he says simply, catching Casper's attention immediately.
"What's going on?" Casper asks alarmed.
"I'll explain," Austin says, nodding hurriedly at the door. I frown at Debbie but quickly get up, following Austin as he ushers us out of the bar.
"What's the rush?" I ask as soon as I sit down in the back seat. It's gotten dark outside.
"There was this kid eyeing you all evening," he says, shutting the door and motioning to Casper to drive.
"So?" I ask as Debbie stifles a giggle, muttering something about cock-blocking low enough for the two in the front not to hear. I slap her arm.
"I had a chat with him in the bathroom," Austin says. "His name is Stan, he's British."
"That's it?" Debbie says when he doesn't immediately continue. "Aren't you getting a bit paranoid?"
"Maybe, except he's on our list of suspected Death Eaters."
"Fuck," Casper mutters under his breath. I see his jaw clench as I glance in the rear-view mirror. "He's not following."
"We can't be sure," Austin says.
"It could be a coincidence," I mumble, my voice questioning, and I meet Casper's eyes in the rear-view mirror.
"I doubt it," Austin says darkly. "We've pretty much just confirmed your identity with that cake."
Debbie glares at him. "It could still be a coincidence," she echoes me more firmly.
"We shouldn't have gone out with a cake," Austin says dryly.
I hold up both my hands, stopping Debbie. "Don't," I say. "There's no point in fighting; let's just go home."
"We'll drop you off at your mother's."
"Your house is perfectly safe," I say, not wanting my mother to immediately realize I'm tipsy.
"We don't have a Fidelius charm, I'm not risking it," Austin shoots back.
"I'll stay with you." Debbie takes hold of my hand.
"Fine." I mutter, casting nervous glances at Casper's eyes in the rear-view mirror all the way home.