Surviving Malfoy _ Part II : Anger and Depression
Slowthai 'Selfish' – The Victories All Come From Defeats.
CW: Gore.
Chapter 27:
„It does look beautiful."
"And it's full of ugly, Thomas."
"We'll make it pretty again."
"Would you guys mind whispering," I say. "Can't risk having anyone hear us."
"Relax, Potter. We're miles away from the castle in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere. We don't have to worry about anyone hearing us yet."
"Always such foul language, Theo."
"It's a form of rebellion Luna, I apologise if it offends you," Theo says, without a hint of malice in his voice.
"It doesn't offend me, I was just wondering," she says kindly. "Carry on, I don't mind."
"Wicked."
"Sh. Jay has a point, we don't know how far the patrols go," Dean says. He looks down at a piece of parchment in his hands that we've been pouring over for the past week or so, roughly mapping out the forbidden forest. "And those aren't the only thing we have to worry about. I'd rather not get spotted by Fluffy if you don't mind."
Theo huffs out a laugh. "Luna will just sing him a tune, we'll be fine."
"So which way do we go?" I ask, ignoring him.
"Roughly that way," he says, pointing at Hogwarts.
I roll my eyes. "No shit, which direction?"
"Pretty much straight south," Dean says, looking up. "We will need to veer off course after about 2 miles, to avoid the acromantulas. As long as we keep our distance, they shouldn't bother us."
"Still not sure I trust Weasley's memory. What if he's making us go straight into their nest?"
"With how terrified he is of them?" Dean asks, ignoring Theo's hostility. "If there's one thing he remembers, it's where he saw those spiders."
"Neville is meeting us at 6.45pm?" I double check, for the hundredth time this week.
Luna nods. "Just before the Carrows lock the front door. We should have a few minutes to slip in without anyone spotting us."
"We should have enough time. It's," Dean checks his watch. "1.30pm."
"Everyone practiced their Patronus' enough?" Theo asks diligently and we all nod in response, although I don't feel quite as confident about mine as I would like. "Lovely-Jubbly. So, we'll stick together until the Acromantulas, split into two groups, and meet back up behind Hagrid's hut around 6. Piece of cake."
"If anything goes wrong, send the other group a Patronus," Dean adds.
"And if it goes completely balls up-"
"Keep calm and carry on."
"Right," I say drily. "Ready?"
"Nope," Theo says with a bright grin. "But I'll never be, so might as well."
"Jay, are you sure you want to go with him?" Dean asks, leaning forward to look at me past Luna and Theo.
"I'll keep him in check," I say. "He's a good dueller, I can use him."
"Use me?"
I slap his shoulder. "Let's get a move on."
It's a bright, cloudless day, but the sun disappears almost as soon as we step foot into the forest. The trees close in around us after just a few yards, and after a few more, we might as well be in the middle of the forest, unable to spot where we entered. We use our wands as a compass every few minutes, to make sure we're still going in the right direction, and Luna uses a tracking charm, so we roughly know how far we've gone. The birds stop singing after about half an hour, nothing to worry about Hermione said; it's when we stop seeing rodents that we know we're getting close to Aragog's family.
None of us speak, listening out for cracks of tree branches, howls, barks, or sizzling. We're almost certain there aren't any Death Eaters or Aurors this far out in the forest, but we still cast an occasional detection charm, just to be sure. And until we reach the two-mile point, nothing happens. The biggest creature we encounter is a bowtruckle Luna spots, almost yelping in excitement and getting chastised for it by Dean.
Theo holds up his hand when he sees Luna's wand pointing out how far we've gone, making us all halt. He doesn't say a word but moves his finger in front of his lips, then points in two opposite directions with his hands. We nod, Luna moving over to Dean and I to Theo.
"Left or right, Potter?" I hear Theo's whisper.
"Left," I whisper back, moving slowly over to him, holding out my hands in front of me until I feel the fabric of his jacket. He takes my hand in his firmly. "Luna? Dean? Be safe."
"You too," comes Dean's voice from somewhere to my left.
Theo and I don't move until we hear Dean and Luna's footprints retreating. We walk in the opposite direction, the forest quickly turning darker, until it might as well be night. I have to check our direction by feeling my wand rather than seeing it, and the tracking charm Theo now uses, usually faint and barely legible by daylight, shines brightly in the darkness. It makes us both stop in our tracks, listening out for any strange noise around us, worried it might have alerted something. I quickly cast a Homenum Revelio, showing there is no human within a quarter mile radius. But unfortunately, it doesn't check for creatures.
"Do you think a light would be safe?" Theo asks quietly, sounding alarmed. His hand is slightly damp in mine.
"I don't really want to go on without one," I admit. "I'll keep checking for humans and you can use Lumos?"
Theo pauses. "Okay."
We both hold our breaths before he lights his wand, afraid of what we might see. But once he does, all it reveals is a quiet sea of trees. We look once around us, but they all look the same in every direction.
"Wait," I say when Theo makes a step forward. I place my wand in the palm of my hand and whisper "point me." It points north, and I pull Theo along south-east. "This way," in the opposite direction of where he was about to go.
"We're gonna get lost," Theo whispers.
"No, we're not," I say. "Do you trust me?"
"With my life," Theo says.
"Don't be so dramatic."
"Right now, I quite literally am trusting you with my life, woman."
"You're not," I say. "You're stupidly following me into a dark forest full of magical creatures. I'm not responsible for your life, Theo."
"Disappointing."
"I'm barely responsible for my own life. Don't make me take on more."
"Oh, why not? Please be my mummy, Po- Ah!"
„Sh!" I hold my hand up in front of Theo to stop him from moving, accidentally hitting him in the stomach in the process. We both freeze, Theo drops my hand to rub his stomach and looks around in worried confusion.
"What did you hear?" He barely whispers.
"Sh." There's a scuttling sound, low to the ground, leaves rustling over mossy roots, and my stomach churns uncomfortably when I can't see anything but trees. I grab Theo's wrist, just to hold on to something, squeezing it hard, but he doesn't complain.
"It's just a rat," Theo points at the ground somewhere to our left.
I exhale in one big huff. It is just a rat. I watch it scuttle away between the trees, thin and long, its fur shining silvery blue in the light of Theo's wand. "At least we're far enough away from the Acromantulas," I say.
"Always look on the bright side of life," Theo says, and, to my amazement, starts whistling.
"Where on earth did you learn that?" I ask, stopping briefly to look up at him.
"I have my secrets." He takes hold of my hand again and pulls me forward.
I pause, letting him lead me forward, staring ahead of the blue glow of his wand. "No seriously," I whisper. "How do you know Life of Brian?"
"Sh, no talking."
"Your father's a Death Eater."
"So? Can't I educate myself independently?"
"So, what, you just had a TV in your drawing room?"
"Merlin no," Theo laughs. "It would have taken my father a while to notice probably, but he would have blasted the thing into oblivion the second he did," he pauses. "Along with my sorry arse. I used to spend summers at Blaise' and he had this neighbor, Louise, sweet girl. We would sneak out of the house behind his mother's back and go hang out with her. She was muggle."
"Blaise never told me."
Theo huffs. "He doesn't like to talk about her. He had this huge crush on her," he trails off.
"Ouh, tell me more!" I tease.
"Well… Turned out she had a crush on me, and she is absolutely not my type," he pauses. "We were fourteen, I let her down gently, tried pointing her in Blaise' direction and she just- well, maybe Blaise will tell you some day. Don't look at me like that, I wouldn't choose me over Blaise either."
I turn my head back forward, but I don't disagree with him. "And she made you watch TV?" I change the subject.
"TV is the greatest thing muggles have ever invented," Theo says earnestly. "She took the mickey out of us at first when we didn't know how to use one, but then she introduced us to all these… magical tales." He waves his hand around whimsically. "By the way, I have a very important question for you."
"Yes?"
"Do Ross and Rachel every make it?"
I bark out a laugh, immediately clapping my hand in front of my mouth. Theo and I both freeze, looking around, but the forest stays quiet and still around us. I turn to Theo, slowly removing my hand. "They do, then they break up," I whisper. "Ross cheats on her –"
"Bastard."
"- although there's some debate on whether or not it was actually cheating."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning we'll watch it together once this is all over," I say. "I haven't seen the latest season yet either. Now shut up we need to get to Hagrid's."
"You're the one who-"
We both hear it.
"Turn that light off," I hiss, and Theo does as he's told.
The rhythmic crackling of branches signifies something much bigger than a rat. I cast a Homenum Revelio, and to both our horror, it glows red. I consider out options for a split second before casting a Patronus. A bright glowing alligator shoots out of the tip of my wand and Theo pulls me to the ground as the first curse comes flying our way.
"Drop your wands!"
It's too dark to discern up from down, let alone how many people there are. There were more than three curses in rapid succession, but with Theo throwing me down I could just about see exactly which direction they came from. But now it was eerily dark, too dark. Impossibly dark.
"Is that your boy, Nott?"
I hear Theo shift next me and grab for his arm where I think he must be lying.
"And he's found himself a girlfriend," the same female voice mocks.
It clicks, and "Peruvian instant darkness powder," escapes my lips before I can stop myself. Theo audibly exhales next to me, but I can't warn him that's a bad idea for what I'm about to do next. I wave my wand and think Mergipalus. I thank Tituba for Madam Zollner and her insistence on silent magic as Theo and I plunge to the bottom of the swamp now flooding the forbidden forest around us. With a second wave, I use a bubblehead charms on both our heads and with a third, I light my wand.
Four pairs of legs stand waist deep around us and Theo instantly gets to work, binding legs and dodging distorted curses through the water. I follow his lead, lassoing who I think is Pettigrew with ropes and pulling him underwater. I watch his silvery hand letting go of his wand, the other of a shriveled looking branch, and grasping for the surface instead. I tie him to a tree root and join Theo in taking down his father, who's smart enough to conjure his own bubblehead before getting disarmed by his son. His voice is distorted as he screams at Theo, calling him a blood-traitor and a muggle-lover, until Theo finally silences him.
The other two make a run for it. Their legs are almost at the edge of the swamp before we manage to catch one with a disarming spell first, their wand landing a few feet from us and swimming on the swamp water above our heads. Theo grabs it, while I bind the Death Eater the same way we did his two friends.
The fourth one gets away.
Theo and I swim in the opposite direction, breaking through the surface only when we can see the light from our wands illuminate the tree branches above our heads. The Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder, still in full force behind us, looms like a menacing cloud above the swamps. Knowing there's at least one more Death Eater on the other side, we make a run for it without checking the direction.
Theo has the longer legs and I have trouble keeping up with him. He fires off another Patronus, a raccoon that runs off behind us towards Luna and Dean and the Death Eater between us.
A green curse rushes past my left ear and I yelp in surprise, firing off a random hex over my shoulder. Theo grabs my left hand again and follows my lead, firing hexes and counter-hexes behind him as quickly as he can while we both try dodging the tightly growing trees. Whoever is behind us is mercifully terrible at aiming; killing curses whizz all around us, but none ever hit their target; even when I am violently wrenched back by my hair. Pain shoots sharply through the back of my skull and the Death Eater behind us crashes into my back, pulling me forward and my hair out of the low hanging branch it got caught in.
He disarms me instantly, pressing me to the ground, left hand on my neck, wand pointing straight at my face. I react instinctively, bucking my hips, which doesn't throw him off kilter but allows me to yank my right ankle close enough to my hand to pull Bellatrix' knife out of my sock and ram it into the Death Eaters neck, trapping the Avada Kedavra in his throat.
I can't help but yelp in disgust as blood instantly gushes out of his wound and onto my face. The gurgle coming out of his throat and mouth makes my skin crawl and I quickly push him off me, wrenching the knife from his throat and rolling away against the tree that caught me. I watch him grope at his neck in a feeble attempt to stop the blood pumping straight out of his aorta.
"Merlin fuck, Potter." Then Theo yelps in turn as another curse comes shooting at him, catching his wand arm, setting it on fire. The Death Eater running full speed at him has no eyes for me. He prepares to curse Theo again, this time at close range. I turn Bellatrix's knife, grab the blade between thumb and forefinger and throw it with as much force as I can towards him.
The Death Eater yells in pain, the knife stuck deep in his thigh and Theo and I both lunge for our wands, yelling stunning hexes in his direction that hit him square in the chest. He crumples to the ground, wand still in hand and knife still pointing upwards, dark blood glistening slightly in the dim sunlight peaking down between the leaves.
"Are there more?" I whimper.
Theo obliges, quickly casting a detection charm, showing three people rapidly approaching up ahead.
"Fuck," I whisper and turn to run, but Theo quickly catches me by the arm.
"What if its Dean and Luna?" He asks.
"There are three people, Theo," I counter.
"It's about time they moved their asses over here though, don't you think?" He waves his wand and a second raccoon appears, running in the direction of the three people. It doesn't take long for a silvery boar to come back, declaring in Dean's deep voice if it's safe, stay where you are. "See?" Theo pauses, and then says "seriously Potter, what the fuck was that?" He points at the Death Eater behind me, now eerily quiet, and I turn to face the music.
The little skin that is visibly is deadly pale, the rest is covered in blood that has seeped into every inch of his clothing, forming a puddle around him that's slowly soaking into the forest soil. I double over, emptying the contents of my stomach onto the ground, holding onto a tree for support. Theo pats my back gently and moves over to the other Death Eater, he grabs the knife handle still sticking out of his leg and yanks it out. When I straighten back up, tears in my eyes and wiping my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater, he's turning it over in his hand, examining the blade.
"Where did you get this?" He asks.
"Bellatrix Lestrange," I answer feebly. "It's the one she threw at Dobby. She used it to give me this too." I lift my chin to show him the scars on my neck.
"That's an incredibly dark artefact, you realize that right?"
"I know, it's cursed. That wound can't be healed by magic, it's going to take ages to heal properly," I point at the Death Eater's leg.
Theo wipes the blade clean on his trouser leg. "Serves you fucking right, doesn't it dad?" He moves over to the Death Eater's head and for a moment I think he's going to slit his throat, but instead he lifts his foot and slams it into his face, breaking his nose with a sickening crack. I press my eyes shut, feeling my stomach reeling again, and lean against the nearest tree.
Theo hands me back the knife and I take it with shaky hands, stuffing it back into my sock. I wave my wand above both our heads, disillusioning us just in case. We only have to wait a few short minutes until we hear several sets of hurried footsteps approaching. "Theo?" we hear Luna's soft, hesitant voice and Theo lifts the charm and lights his wand. She comes running towards us, a large gash across her cheek with Dean following closely behind, limping slightly in the company of a large, palomino centaur, a bow and arrow in hand.
Luna throws her arms around Theo's neck, and I step away from the tree, staring openly at the centaur behind Dean.
"You're hurt," I hear Luna say.
"So are you," he responds, letting her wave her wand over his burnt arm. "Firenze," he says to the centaur.
"Theodore," Firenze responds calmly, nodding his head at him. "And you must be Miss Potter."
"Jolene," I say, not sure why.
"Holy hell," Dean shouts, staring at the dead Death Eater.
"Jolene's doing," Theo tells him, a slight edge in his voice when he pronounces my name.
"We caught another one," Luna says, stepping away from him and pointing at Firenze, who turns his torso around to pull a limp female figure off his back, letting it slump to the ground with a dull thud. "We found Wormtail too, but he was dead already."
I feel my jaw clench.
"What happened back there?" Dean asks.
"Might have drowned him…" I say weakly.
"And this one?" Dean points at the blood covered corpse again.
"Got dealt with appropriately," Theo snaps, shooting me a look. He lifts his wand to mend the gash across Luna's face. "What's with you?"
"Foot caught in a root," Dean says. "Just sprained I think, it'll be fine in a couple of days."
"You sure?" Theo raises his wand and Dean waves him off.
"Thank you," Luna says to Theo, then do Firenze.
The centaur hasn't moved, looking up into the tree branches, a quizzical look on his face. "I will escort you to the castle, four young wizards shouldn't be wandering through this forest alone."
"Thank you," Luna repeats.
"Are we still in time?"
Dean glances down at his watch, "it's 5.30, we should be fine?"
Firenze nods, "if we walk briskly, we will make it to Hagrid in time to meet your friend, young Mr. Longbottom. I can carry you on my back if your ankle bothers you."
"Oh no, really I'll be fine," Dean takes a step away from him.
"What do we do with these two?" I ask, pointing at Theo's father and the woman, both still laying unconscious on the ground.
"That's Alecto Carrow," Luna says. "But I don't know him."
"Ah, just my dad," Theo says. "Leave them out for the wolves, I'd say."
Dean raises his eyebrows at him.
"Someone knows they're out here though," I say.
Luna adds, "the Carrows are teachers. They'll be missed up at the castle if they don't show up by dinner time."
"They'll probably lock down the school…" Dean says.
"Which just means we need to get Longbottom to sneak us into the castle before 7." Theo retorts.
"No," I say. "It means if someone finds them alive, they'll know we are in the castle."
"So?"
"So, I'm not actually going there for fun, Theo," I say, taking a deep breath. "There's something I need to do. If they know I'm there, they'll know what I'm there for and that would be… counterproductive."
"You have ulterior motives?" Theo blurts out in mock surprise. "Fine, I'll obliviate them." He moves to the Carrow woman first, and next to his father, but pauses before he raises his wand at him. "Does it change anything if they know I'm there?"
"Yes," I say sternly. "They know you escaped with Harry and the rest of us."
Theo grumbles "fine", and obliviates his father. "Let's go."
We walk in silence, wands at the ready and Firenze keeps an arrow nocked on his Bowstring, pointing it occasionally into the trees, but mercifully we run into no more trouble until we reach the edge of the forbidden forest directly behind Hagrid's hut. We stop, still among the trees and keep our eyes peeled for movement. There's light in Hagrid's front room and I wonder if it would be okay to go knocking, just for a minute.
Dean glances down at his watch again. "He should be here in five minutes," he whispers.
"I will wait with you." Firenze glances up at the now darkening sky again until finally Neville materializes.
"Hiya!" He whispers excitedly. His left eye is deep purple and swollen shut and his hair looks like it's been singed at the ends, but otherwise, he looks happier than he seemed all of last year.
Luna walks up to hug him, as do Dean and I. Theo, uncharacteristically quiet, just raises his hand in greeting.
"You alright, Nott?" Neville asks him.
"Better than you, it seems." Theo half grins, but still doesn't take a step forward until Neville stretches a hand out to him. He shakes it.
"I will leave you here," Firenze says, finally lowering his eyes to me. "Venus will cut unusually close to Pollux on its way to Eltanin this year, Miss Potter. Greet your brother from me, will you? Luna, Dean, Theodore." He nods at the three of them, turns and vanishes into the forest.
"What was that?" I ask.
"He used to teach divination. Come on, we're not out of the woods yet," Theo huffs at his own joke.
"Disillusion yourselves," Neville instructs, and we all do as we're told. "Can you see this?" He asks, there's a slight shimmer in the air. "Try following the person in front of you. We'll go in through the front door, and then straight down to the dungeons. There's a secret entrance to the room of requirements there at the moment."
We all agree audibly and then start walking out from behind Hagrid's hut. I sneak a look through the window, but it isn't Hagrid sitting inside. It's Filch, stroking Mrs. Norris sitting on his lap. I duck under the window and search the air ahead of me for a glimmer of Dean. I follow it through the grounds, up onto the front steps of Hogwarts, and squeeze through the doors that stand slightly ajar. There is no movement inside, the chandeliers on the ceiling and the torches on the walls are all illuminated and the doors to the Great Hall above the Marble Staircase are wide open, but there is no sound of laughter or talking, only quiet clinking of glasses and scraping of cutlery.
"They'll be dismissed in ten minutes," I hear Neville whisper. "Come on."
We quietly walk over to the dungeon steps. It is completely pitch black down there, only the light from the Entrance Hall illuminates the stairs, and I fumble for Dean's shirt in front of me, feeling Theo do the same to mine. We follow Neville in a single file, holding onto the wall to find our way down and finally, in the pitch black, Neville pulls open a door and we all squeeze in, trying to let as little light as possible into the dark corridor.
The basic layout of the room hasn't changed, the high ceiling is still held up by large stone pillars, there still are no windows, light still seems to just exist, without any recognizable source – but the piles upon piles of things have vanished, revealing just how vast the room truly is. The left wall is lined with sleeping cots, bunk beds and hammocks hanging in nooks in the wall or between stone pillars, a long table stretches along the right wall, covered in clutter; scrolls of parchment, quills, books, empty plates, cups and cutlery, a few wands. The middle of the room is cleared of everything except a few training dummies, strewn around pell-mell. No one is using them currently, the vast majority of the about four dozen people in the room, are chatting animatedly, sitting around the table, the others lazing about in their various sleeping nooks. There are two more doors on the opposite wall from where we just came in, flanking the wooden stove I spent so many nights in front of with Draco.
Neville removes this disillusionment spell on himself. "Bathroom's through here," he points at the left door. "The other door leads to the Hog's Head. The Room can't produce food unfortunately, but Aberforth's been feeding us."
We follow his lead, reappearing one by one.
"Luna!" One of the Patil twins shouts, and "DEAN!" yells Seamus over her, but both grow deadly quiet, stopping dead in their tracks when they spot Theo.
"He's here to help," Neville declares, when every single set of eyes in the room has fixed on him. "He's on our side, he won't harm any of us. You have my word. And be nice," he adds with vigor. "Are you guys hungry?" He turns to us.
Still none of the others speak, all eyes still on Theo as our little group follows Neville to the long table. Seamus finally breaks the silence, loudly proclaiming "I've missed you!" and enveloping Dean in a bear hug. The Patil twin follows suite and pulls Luna into a hug, letting go of her quickly and doing the same to me.
"How did you get out of there?" She asks in my ear.
"Same way as Luna," I say. "With Theo's help."
"Well-" he starts, but I kick him, and when she flings her arms around his neck, he just says "okay," patting her on the back.