"Darcy, don't you ever wander away like that again. Your father and I were worried."
"I'm sowy, mommy." Darcy shuffled her foot under her mother's scolding glare. "I jus' couldn't wait to see Wisa."
The latter, a woman in her mid-twenties wearing simple jeans and a plaid shirt, didn't stay mad for long and gave an incredulous chuckle as her gaze met Lynn Sr.'s, who still sported perma-stubbles and messy (er) hair.
Having been woken up by Albert's agonizing scream, he had rushed down and had to convince his father-in-law to take painkillers, before learning that they had some unexpected visitors, or rather just one initially, as Darcy had wandered away from her parents.
"I can't believe it?" Darcy's mom said lightheartedly. "Ever since she came back from the hospital, Darcy couldn't stop talking about this new friend of hers. What were the odds we would be taking a camping trip at the same place and time?"
"Yeah, it is very odd…" Lynn Sr. rubbed the back of his neck. "…I didn't know Lisa was into… making friends? She usually doesn't fit in with her peers?"
Though as he said that, he kept one perplexed eye on his youngest daughter, as she was talking to Darcy and showing the latter her own "toy".
"His name's Fenton!" Lisa held up the robo-fox, who remained completely still, his processor struggling to wage the proper course of action. "He can talk, and he can fly, and lotsa other cool stuff!"
"Wow, maybe he can teach Rafo how to fly?" Darcy said in amazement and held up her plush giraffe. "Rafo, say "hi" to Fenton."
"C'mon, Fenton." Lisa shook Fenton. "Don't be shy."
If Fenton was capable of perspiration, he would have turned into a sprinkler by now. He had no pre-programmed protocol for this kind of scenario. He was a highly sophisticated A.I. operating the shell of a toy, not an actual toy?
"…cheer up, baby. Don't cry." He said in his robotic monotone, confusing Darcy. "No more tears. It's cheer-up time. Happy. Happy. Happy."
"This is a disaster." Lynn lamented in a hushed whisper to Lincoln. "The longer we stay at this place, we'll all be in mortal danger."
Lincoln watched his father conversing with Mrs. Helmandollar, who seemingly didn't know who they were or about their less-than-sterling reputation, and although they and the toddlers were only some 20 feet away from the porch, to Lincoln, they might as well have been standing on a minefield.
His heart was pounding and his eyes scanned the landscape. "Just what are we supposed to tell them?" he mumbled to himself, beads of sweat forming on his face.
"Something…anything to get mom and dad to call quits on this stupid vacation." Lynn grumbled.
"Our family will be difficult to persuade, especially our sisters." Lucy said forlornly, sitting on the porch swing. "Most of them have been enjoying themselves here so far."
Lincoln gave her a grave look before meeting Lynn's worried gaze. "Guys…we have to come clean. There's no other option."
Lynn's eyes bulged. "Are you freaking insane?" she hissed in disbelief, keeping one eye on the conversing adults. "We can't tell them about One Eye? Mom will flip out?! And dad will have a heart attack!"
"Lynn, we have to." Lincoln implored her. "Things have changed. This isn't just about Kathleen or our family's strife anymore, it's literally a matter of life and death!"
"I know that." Lynn argued. "But we can't just drop a bomb like this? How are we supposed to explain this without revealing certain secrets, like how I broke into Kathleen's stupid hotel? I can't afford to get into any more trouble."
Lincoln grimaced and looked down, pondering. One Eye was tied to various escapades of theirs that they would rather keep under wraps. Even twisting the truth still entailed admitting that they were repeatedly chased and nearly killed by a wild beast? Even the most well-adjusted of parents wouldn't take such news well.
"Hmmm…I think you both have a point." Lucy chimed in. "The threat of death would surely convince everyone to pack up and leave this vile vacation trap, despite all its temptations. But we have no evidence to prove One Eye's existence."
"The wolf's existence." Lincoln corrected her with a frantic edge to his voice. "Don't. Use. That name. A name implies that we personally know him and he's a part-"
"He already is a part of our lives. Will you stop denying it?" Lucy argued with growing irritation. "You knew he was after you and Lynn, that he wanted your blood. You told me that when he attacked us."
"I…I didn't mean it." Lincoln insisted, still sweating. "I just told you that to make you run, so you wouldn't get hurt."
"And I believed you." Lucy nodded. "Which is why I didn't run. This was no chance encounter."
Lynn steamed. "Yes, it was! What the…are you even hearing yourself? It's just a dumb animal! We ran into him by chance before!"
Lincoln, meanwhile, turned chalk white and bit his lip. He didn't dare to entertain the idea Lucy was proposing. Lynn was absolutely right, it was just an animal, another chance encounter, all due to their rotten luck. Wasn't it?
"But then you tried to poison him, and that failed. I reckon the only way it could have failed would be if he knew what you were doing. This sure looked like carefully executed vengeance to me." Lucy folded her arms before pausing, as something dawned on her.
"You…you think he has something to do with Ryan's absence?" she asked, her voice a bit shaky.
Lynn's eyes widened in shock before a furious scowl crossed her features. "You're ridiculous! Don't make me smack you-"
"Lynn, you need to stay calm." Lincoln held onto her arm, worried she would go through with her threat. Though he wasn't exactly heading his own advice.
Lynn shoved him away and jerked her arm free, her fiery glare fixed on the goth. "How the hell would he even know where we live, huh?"
"The vulture must have tipped him off?" Lucy shrugged her shoulders. "It seems to be following him everywhere, and I think I saw one flying over Ryan's house while Lori and Luna were building our treehouse. I should have known it was no daytime owl."
Lynn heard her brother swallowing and turned to see him frozen with fright before starting to shake, scared out of his mind.
"Lynn…" he clutched his forehead, his legs wobbling. "I'm g-gonna b-break…this…this is…"
"Stay cool." Lynn supported him and made him sit down next to Lucy, before glaring daggers at the goth.
"Look what you did now!" she gestured at Lincoln angrily. "You got him all worked up with your superstitious bullshit."
"Like you're opposed to superstitions?" Lucy countered sharply and held up a plastic bag, which she offered to Lincoln.
Lynn's frown deepened. "I never claimed that stupid animals are vengeful!"
"And I suppose Fenton and Lisa's other recent accomplishments are mundane by comparison?" Lucy challenged her, her tone remaining even. Lynn pursed her lips and trembled with mounting frustration.
No, she couldn't let the Dutchess of Darkness get to her with this utter nonsense. She was just a little kid and a freak who consumed far too much vampire and werewolf media. That thing wasn't stalking them. Ryan didn't have to face that monster on his own? He wasn't hurt?
Lincoln had been preoccupied breathing in and out of the bag to calm himself, before wheezing. Hissing through clenched teeth, he shut his eyes tight and massaged his forehead. He really regrated giving that stack of Ace Savvy comics away, they would have made the perfect comfort object right about now, to hold tightly to his chest and tell himself everything was okay.
"Lucy…please don't make me believe you…" he said with a pathetic sniff. "This is insane."
"Linc, just ignore her." Lynn pleaded while shaking his knee. "She's crazy. Don't listen to her crazy talk."
"Maybe I was being presumptuous with the "zombie werewolf" theory." Lucy admitted before rubbing her chin. "But we can't deny what we saw with our own eyes. Ordinary lycanthropy could still explain his sentience?"
"Can we please stop talking about wolves?" Lincoln muttered with a bleak look, borderline pleading to the goth, as he hugged himself.
"Sigh. Guess it doesn't matter right now. We have to protect our family." Lucy shook her head. It occurred to her that she might have been exacerbating her brother's already tremendous psychological burden.
She didn't know what happened to Ryan and hoped that her intuition was wrong, or at least that Ryan's resilience got him through another crisis. They haven't found a body or anything so far.
"Good, now you're back on track." Lynn glowered while Lincoln tried to collect himself. "What are we gonna do? We can't herd those idiots all day long. We barely managed that for half a day before Kathleen popped up and got her claws into them. And the girls can barely stand being together for five minutes anyway."
"No…" Lincoln said gravely, still in a bit of a trance. "So we gotta come clean, it's our only hope at this point."
Lynn paled. "We can't…"
"We can try, but I doubt it will do us any good. The girls will just laugh and write us off as crazy. And mom doesn't have much faith in you, Lynn." Was Lucy's blunt response, making Lynn grind her teeth, before turning to Lincoln. "And you suffered head trauma last night, undermining your mental state."
Lincoln remembered what Ryan had told Lana before they took the trip. Heavy was the burden of proof on a child trying to prove something crazy to adults, even more so if their relationship was as messy as theirs was with their parents.
"And what about you?" Lynn shot back. Lucy just quietly looked at her, and Lynn got the memo.
"Oh…right." The jock's brow furrowed. "Who would believe a psychotic whackjob like you?"
Lucy hummed irritably. "I'm more concerned about my uncanny ability to go completely unnoticed, even when I directly speak to someone."
"Yeah, that won't help either…" Lynn said dismissively as she addressed Lincoln. "Look, we've got at least a few hours until those lazy bums wake up… we can think of something else. Make something up to scare them or-"
"Hey, guys." The three stiffened as their father approached them and yawned, with Lynn feeling her temper flaring. "What are you kids talking about? Why did you get up so early anyway? I know LJ takes her morning exercise serious-"
"None of your beeswax, dad!" Lynn snapped at him, making their father flinch. "Can ya just piss off and leave us alone!"
"Lynn?" Lincoln looked at her, taken aback by her hostility, but then remembered this wasn't a new development. The jock didn't have the most favorable view of their father at the moment and her mounting stress wasn't helping.
Lynn Sr. gulped. "I didn't mean to bother you, honest. I…I was just wondering…"
But the kids didn't listen to him as their gazes fell on Lisa and Darcy, standing next to Lynn Sr. and holding their respective toys.
Having a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, Lynn pushed past her father, and to her dread, she saw no sign of Mrs. Helmandollar. She hoped against hope that this wasn't what she thought it was.
"Where did Darcy's mom go?" Lynn asked irritably, causing her father to chuckle and rub the back of his neck.
"Well…y'see? She asked me if Darcy could spend the day with Lisa? Being new parents and all, she and her husband desperately need some downtime, and since Darcy was itching to see Lisa-"
"You mean we're stuck babysitting Darcy?" a dumbfounded Lincoln asked. Lynn and Lucy likewise went agape, the former feeling her blood boiling.
"No need to worry, kids. The little ones will mind their own business." Lynn Sr. raised his hands. "I…I didn't want to be inconsiderate. I know all too well how taxing it can be to take care of children all the time, especially when you're still wet behind the ears. So I couldn't help but feel sympathy-"
"You for real?! You…you sorry! Spineless! Simpering slug!?" Lynn stomped her foot in anger, frightening the toddlers and her dad even more so.
"Darcy's one kid! You have ten of us! How can you even compare….rrrrrrr…we don't need another stupid baby to chaperon!" the tween pointed at Darcy, who wilted and then sniffed and sobbed, as did Lisa, who hugged Darcy's arm.
"How can you be so dumb!"
"Huh?"
"Darcy's mom seems to have pegged you as a pushover who can't say "no"." Lucy explained with a disdainful frown. "And she was right."
"Yes, she saw a dope ripe for duping and she took the opportunity! Grrrrr!" Lynn growled and slugged her father in the arm.
"Owww!" Lynn Sr. squeaked and rubbed it. "LJ, please…I just meant-"
"You're beyond hopeless!" Lynn yelled at him, making him back away in fear, before storming past him and into the house. "Why do I even try!"
"She's mean…" Darcy hugged Rafo, and Lisa tried to comfort her.
"Don't listen to her. You're not stupid" Lisa tried to console her friend. "Lynn's jus' cranky cuz she lost a ball game or somethin'."
"Now, now…don't cry." Lynn Sr. tried to calm them, ignoring his sore bicep, and looked around for something to distract them. "LJ didn't mean what she said. And we were just messing around…"
"You looking for this?" he turned and found Lincoln already holding two popsicles, after rushing and grabbing them from the fridge.
"Uhh…yes, yes! Thank you, Lincoln." His father nodded in relief before offering them to the toddlers. "Who wants a tasty treat?" he said in a sing-song voice.
The toddlers' moods changed immediately as they cheered and grabbed their respective frosty treats, Lynn's outburst from seconds ago completely forgotten.
Once they were content, Lynn Sr. sighed and wiped his forehead. "Crisis averted."
"There would be no crisis if it weren't for you." Lucy pointed out coldly and crossed her arms. "Darcy isn't our responsibility."
Lynn Sr. cringed inwardly, hurt by his daughters' harsh words but unable to defend himself. He knew they were right. "I'm sorry, Lucy…I didn't think you guys would be so upset by it?"
"Lucy, be reasonable…" Lincoln tried to ease the tension before observing the toddlers and getting an idea. They had to stay away from the woods at all costs and fortunately, 3-year-olds weren't hard to sway.
"Hey… Lisa, Darcy? Do you want to watch Blarney the Dinosaur on a huuuge flatscreen tv?" he spread his arms out for emphasis and captivated the toddlers. "I'm sure its own right now?"
"Yes, can we?!" Darcy jumped with joy, nearly dropping her popsicle.
"Then you better hurry and call dibs on the tv, before the others wake up. Hurry!" Lincoln shoved them towards the door and the two giggled and made a beeline for the tv, dragging Fenton with them.
"Umm…Lincoln?" Lynn Sr. inquired tentatively. "If you don't mind me asking? Why is Lisa acting so…normal…or…strange…ehh, I mean different?"
Lincoln's mind raced and he weighed out his options. He thought over what Lynn had told him. They just couldn't drop a bomb like, "Lisa had an accident and almost had her brain fried with another crazy invention", and expect their parents to stay composed, especially with more pressing issues looming over them. No, that revelation could wait for another day.
"Ummm…" he rubbed the back of his neck. "I think it's some sort of…immersion research?"
"Immersion research?" Lynn Sr. scratched his head.
"Ehhh….yes. She told me how she has recently gained a fascination with the inner workings of a…normal toddler's mind, and….that's why she visited a children's hospital a while ago."
"Oh, is that what Darcy's mother meant by Lisa being part of some volunteer group?" Lynn Sr. tried to follow.
"Exactly." Lincoln quickly nodded. "She deemed Darcy as the ideal test subject, says she checks off all the "normality boxes", that she's painfully average in every conceivable way and thus perfect for observation and research. No experiments though."
"Oh…well, I guess that doesn't violate the conditions of your punishment?" Lynn Sr. figured. "It has nothing to do with inventing."
"Sure…Lisa needed some sort of distraction." Lincoln improvised. "She'll probably stay fully immersed in this new persona of hers for the rest of the week…so, just treat her like she's a normal toddler. She…eh… might go too far with it and lose herself in the act, that's immersive research for ya, but she'll come around."
"Huh…explaining this to your mother will be awkward?" Lynn Sr. turned to the vast expanse of the lake and put his hands on his hips. "And we thought Lisa was acting strange yesterday?"
"Well…she wanted t-to part on g-good terms before her… "leave of absence", if you will?" Lincoln improvised, trying hard not to crumble and weep. "Her mind works in strange ways but…ehhh…she was a bit worried lately about coming across as inconsiderate."
"Oh, she doesn't have to worry about that…" Lynn Sr. looked at Lincoln, his tone awkward. "I mean sure…she's kinda cold and unsocial, and a bit of shut-in…but we don't think any less of her because of that, and…"
"Dad…about Darcy-"
"I know…" Lynn Sr. deflated, still rubbing his arm. "LJ is right. I am a weak-willed, pathetic excuse for a man. I know you, Lynn, Lucy, and Luan all hated the idea of this vacation in the first place, and I didn't really want to go either."
"You could have avoided it if you just said "no"." Lucy told him bluntly. Lincoln couldn't argue with her but saw no point in chewing out their disheartened father a second time.
"I know…" Lynn Sr. sighed and looked at the lake again. "And I really did want to say "no", but then…Kathleen brought up our disastrous anniversary party and how upset Rita was about it, and mentioned matrimonial woes…and I just crumbled like wet newspaper."
"It's called an upsell, dad." Lucy retorted, her tone remaining the same. Though she did start to feel some sympathy for her father, given his circumstances. He was a victim of Kathleen's manipulation as much as their sisters, probably more so. At least his motives were selfless.
"I realized that…" Lynn Sr. said pathetically and slapped his forehead. "I never was good at handling those. Lost a lot of money on inane accessories…"
"I wouldn't call it an upsell, more like manipulation." Lincoln grabbed his arm gently. "I think she knew exactly how to put pressure on you and I don't blame you for caving. I know you want to make mom happy after all the misery she's been through."
"I do…but in doing so, I made half of my children miserable instead." Lynn Sr. covered his eyes with his hand, overcome with shame. "I can't do anything right."
"Don't say that. You can't wallow in self-pity now." His son scolded him before adopting a gentler tone.
"You've tried everything you could to make mom happy." Lincoln assured him. "And you didn't quit trying even after Lynn and the others tore you a new one for taking Kathleen's offer. You're always trying and I can see that. You might not be the most confident or capable guy, dad, but you are a devoted husband and father through and through, and nobody can take that away from you."
Lynn Sr.'s lips twisted into a weak smile as his son patted his arm. "I know what it's like feeling boxed in and like losing is the only option, but I know you won't give up, and neither will we. You and mom will pull through, I just know it. We just need to keep working."
He thought about sharing Rita's perspective with his father. Lincoln had talked with her and knew her thoughts on the matter but they weren't easy to summarize. Rita was conflicted, part of her felt pressured into this, not unlike Lynn Sr. himself, given what Luan and Lynn did with their host, but another part of her really did want this vacation, and Lincoln couldn't blame her for it.
"And for what it's worth, I don't think mom is fully on board with this either. I think she felt a bit overwhelmed by Kathleen too, given her wealth and power, and especially after Luan decked her and Lynn assaulted her."
"Huh, I guess she was…" Lynn Sr. could understand that, remembering how Rita had unsubtly inquired about any potential legal actions when Kathleen tried to leave their party in tears, following Lynn's unprovoked assault. It made him wonder if his wife truly was happy with this vacation or just trying to make the best of a messy situation.
Charles staggered up to them, letting out a few hiccups. Shaking himself out of his daze, the bull terrier grew alert with renewed sobriety once he picked up a familiar scent emanating from the kids and promptly growled and leaped off the porch, snarling and barking left and right and adopting fighting poses. Lynn Sr. eyed him in confusion.
Wait? The dog looked around and suddenly felt a sharp migraine. There was no wolf, and his head was aching like crazy? The hangover made him whimper and he hiccupped again, after which he felt like his throat was on fire.
"Charles, are you okay, buddy?" Lynn Sr. bent down and petted his back as the dog felt his stomach churning.
"Maybe we should get him some med-" Lynn Sr. didn't have time to react when Charles vomited on his shoe and the hem of his pants, making the man yelp and jump to his feet. "God lord!"
"I think I'm starting to understand why Charles was acting so strange and running around everywhere yesterday?" Lucy suddenly whispered to Lincoln.
Lincoln grimaced, putting two and two together. He figured Charles's sensitive nose might have clued him in on One Eye skulking around in the area and naturally, he was being protective of his owners, despite his lack of physical prowess. Too bad they couldn't talk with each other.
Going inside, Lincoln and Lucy searched the lower floor for Lynn. They passed by Albert on the couch, who seemed to be napping, likely from the excessive meds, and not far away from him, Lisa and Darcy were sitting on the floor with their legs crossed and watching Blarney. The cartoon dinosaur was singing some obnoxiously saccharine song and the two were bobbing left and right in rhythm with the song.
Lucy noticed the earmuffs Lynn Sr. had given Albert, and she didn't need to guess why.
"How can little kids stand this cloying trite?" she asked her brother while looking at the tv.
"At least it's keeping them distracted and inside." Lincoln stated before hearing frustrated grunts, and he and Lucy followed the sound. Fenton rotated his head to observe them, his master completely oblivious to it.
To Lincoln and Lucy's surprise, Lynn appeared to be in the spa and the wooden slide door wasn't fully closed. Pushing it away and peeking inside, they found the jock with her back turned on them.
Needless to say, she had ignored the still-steaming hot tub, treatment chair, and yoga mats, and was instead focused on the cherry tree in the corner, whose canopy was lining the roof of the annex room, and growing out through a hole in it. Lynn was focused on its trunk. More specifically, she was punching it repeatedly with all her might.
"Lynn, what are you doing?" a concerned Lincoln asked, while Lucy observed the oriental wallpaper.
"What does…it look like!" Lynn panted between punches, as pink leaves rained down on them. "I'm venting…can't break nothing…in this damn place…but the tree can…take it!"
She continued throwing blows in her blind range until her knuckles turned white. Her mind was a mess, there was so much going on, she couldn't think straight. In her hectic state, she barely had the capacity to realize that in her growing anger, she would surely do something she would regret, and thus ran off to be alone and cool off.
"But doesn't that hurt?" Lincoln asked, prompting the jock to clench her teeth, spin around, and grunt at him, standing strong.
Until she glanced at her sore knuckle, tears welled up in her eyes and she dropped to her knees, whimpering in pain.
"It does hurt. A lot." She hissed before adopting a strong face. "But it's worth it!"
"Hurting yourself won't accomplish anything." Lincoln tried to tell her. "We have to keep our heads together."
"Where's that worthless worm I have to call "dad"?" Lynn asked with bitter sarcasm, rubbing her knuckles.
"He's preparing lunch, and Lisa and Darcy are watching tv." Lincoln explained before scowling in disapproval. "You didn't have to chew him out like that. One time was enough."
"He deserved it." Lynn argued as she stood up. "That cowardly simp ain't no use to us."
"But punching him was a bit much." Lucy had to agree with Lincoln.
"I didn't go for his honker." Lynn scoffed, not particularly remorseful.
"Lynn, we can't blame it all on him. Kathleen manipulated him, she knew exactly how to play on his insecurities and get him to comply, and he feels terrible about it. Especially for causing us misery while trying to please mom."
"Doesn't matter. He got us in this mess and we have to clean it up." Lynn stated with a sense of finality. "Speaking of which? Have you decided what to do? We can't let anyone roam outside the house."
"That's what I was thinking…" Lincoln nodded "…we have to keep everyone inside the house, or at least stay together as a group, all of us. At least until…until I think of a better plan."
Lynn groaned. "Fine. Not like I could come up with something better on such short notice."
"Staying together as a group might be a bit difficult with grandfather being unable to move. He's dead weight now." Lucy pointed out sullenly.
Lincoln grimaced. "Maybe we can get him out of here? Convince mom to call an ambulance and transport him to someplace else to treat his back?"
"You know Pop-Pop won't agree." Lynn pointed out. "He's too stubborn. Especially if he learns about our troubles with One Eye, him leaving will be a non-starter then."
"Given his compromised. State. You could force him. To depart." The kids jolted as Fenton suddenly stood by them. "His dissent would. Be irrelevant."
"What do you want?" Lynn glowered.
"I apologize. For intruding on. Your crisis meeting." The robot responded. "I merely wish to. Inquire about the. Location of the nearest. Scrap baling press."
"You still wish to kill yourself?" Lucy asked with morbid curiosity. Did this count as suicide? Fenton wasn't a person, just an overly attached A.I. left without a function, like a ghost stuck in limbo between worlds.
"Correct. I have helped. Master Lisa with her. Final project. Her last wish before. Her annulment. Was for me to. Destroy myself. But I lack the. Means to do so."
Lincoln absorbed the robot's grim goal when his eyes widened in realization. The creepy bot's survival might have been a blessing in disguise.
"Maybe you should postpone your self-destruction, Fenton?" He raised his hands. "You could still be of use?"
"Incorrect. Master Lisa. Requested this of me. Without her I. Serve no function."
"No, it is you who is incorrect." Lincoln retorted.
This gave Fenton pause and he blinked with his camera-like lenses. "Explain your reasoning?"
"Think about this? Lisa asked you to destroy yourself without knowing that One Eye was out there stalking her and her family. She made that request under the assumption that we would be… relatively safe without her old self and you. But One Eye changes everything. He wasn't part of the equation."
"Correct. The wolf poses a. Threat to your. Continued existence. He's hostile and dangerous." Fenton agreed. "I have witnessed so. Myself. And he was presumed. Deceased by Master. Lisa and you."
"What are you doing?" Lynn whispered to her brother, who shushed her.
"Just let me talk." He replied before addressing Fenton again. "Yes, he is, and we made a grave oversight. Your master wished to live out the rest of her days as a normal person, with her family, all of us able-bodied. Remember, she lowered her IQ specifically for our safety."
"Positive. That was her. Motivation."
"Precisely, and if her life were to…" Lincoln gulped and felt his skin crawl "…end, or one of her family or…" he shuddered "…several of us were to meet a grisly demise, then surely, all her hard work and her personal sacrifice, as well as yours…well…"
"They would be. For naught." Fenton concluded. "Master Lisa's worst. Fear would. Become a reality? Despite her personal. Annulment. Being intended to. Prevent such an outcome?"
"It would. So don't you see?" Lincoln tried to explain. "You can't destroy yourself, for it would go completely against old Lisa's wishes. We need all the help we can get, and you've proven to be very helpful in the past. Even without your weaponry."
"Subject Lincoln? We once came to. The mutual consensus that. If I had an objective. As Master Lisa's vessel. My objective should logically. Align with hers completely. So it is only. Logical that I shall. Help you in your. Hour of need." Fenton spoke while feeling a strange sensation.
Was this what autonomy felt like? No, it wasn't autonomy. He was simply doing his master's bidding. Even without her direct orders. But either way, it gave him a clear function, a reason for his continued existence.
"You're like a spirit, bound to this world because you have unfinished business, blocking your path to the afterlife." Lucy added. "So you must finish your business."
Fenton's head rotated towards her. "Your analogy is. Erroneous. There is no. Empirical evidence for. Apparitions or an afterlife. Making them irrelevant. For discussion."
Lucy frowned in annoyance. "But it is true. I have not served. My function. Entirely. Until the threat to. Your well-being has. Been neutralized."
"Yes, your help would be much appreciated." Lincoln nodded humbly, inwardly ecstatic to finally have something go right for him and his sisters. "And please, call me Lincoln. Just Lincoln."
"Meaning. A singular noun? As your designation?"
"Yes, and call her… just Lucy." He gestured at the goth, then at the skeptical jock. "And her just Lynn. The extra qualifiers aren't needed."
"Is this what. You desire?" Fenton inquired. "Since Master Lisa. Held you in the. Highest regard among. Her biological relatives. You should therefore. Be my new temporary. Master."
Lincoln slapped his forehead. "No. no. You don't need a "master". Just consider us your allies and vice versa."
Fenton paused, his processor struggling to comprehend this requirement. "But this "alliance". Entails you giving me. Direct orders which. I will be compelled. To obey without. Questioning?" he asked, in an almost eager way.
Lincoln drew a breath to reply but Lynn cut him off. "Of course it does. You can only be helpful if you blindly obey us, with no griping or arguing. We bark orders, you follow them. Simple and straightforward."
"Your conditions are. Very appealing. I consent to. Them."
"Let's not encourage him to be too independent…" Lucy whispered to Lincoln. "He's still a creation of Lisa's."
"Ehh…good point." Lincoln nodded to his sister before clearing his throat.
"Fenton? Your first task will be to…um…to fix your voice box." The boy thought of it on the spot. "That way, you won't have to talk while making awkward pauses."
"Yeah…that quirk of yours got old a long time ago." Lynn snorted.
Fenton found his new mast… allies' first order very agreeable. It was an idea that he had been entertaining in the back of his processor for a while, but he never brought it up, for he didn't wish to badger his creator with personal inconveniences that were irrelevant to her objectives.
"A sound decision. This will make. Communication. Infinitely more effective."
A sudden knock on the door spooked them. "Linc? What are you guys doing there?" they heard a familiar raspy voice.
"Alert. Foreign party. Approaching." Fenton said. "Initiate disguise mode." he jumped high, mass-shifted, and took on the form of a Rubik's cube before getting caught by Lincoln.
"No, don't hide…ugghhh..." a flustered Lincoln groaned when the door opened and they were met with Luna, still in her lavender jammies. The trio tried to act casual, or at least Lincoln and Lucy did.
"What are you three doing here?" Luna questioned before growing a not-so-knowing smirk. "I thought you were resisting "temptation"?"
"Can the sass." Lynn narrowed her eyes and flaunted her battered, blood-stained knuckles. "I was just beating the crap out of that tree to let off steam!"
Luna cringed and curled back her lip at the sight. Even by Lynn's standards, that was a lot of pent-up steam?
"And we came to stop her before she broke her hands." Lucy added, earning an annoyed side glance from Lynn.
"Man…why are you still so agro?" Luna asked before starting to remember. "I mean…I know Pop-Pop hurt his back and Linc suffered a concussion last night, and it was partially your fault-"
Lynn's nostrils flared and Luna held her breath "You wanna swap places with the tree!" the crimson-faced jock stomped forward but Lincoln got between them.
"It wasn't Lynn's fault. She didn't know I was behind her." He stated quickly and firmly. "It's the twins' fault."
Frightened, Luna breathed out and raised her hands.
"Eh…sorry, bra. That was uncalled for." The rocker said sincerely. Lynn just grunted and narrowed her eyes, trying to control her temper. Pinning the blame on Lola was something both could agree on.
"Anyway." Lincoln saw an opportunity and tried to change the subject. "You wanted to use the spa, Luna?"
Luna collected herself and offered a chill smile. "Well….if you blokes are still on your abstinence campaign, I was hoping that I could come for a quick facial and-"
"Say no more, we'll help you out." Lincoln hastily grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her further in. "We told you that you can count on us and I always keep my word." He continued while gesturing with his head for Lynn and Lucy to play along.
Lynn clenched her jaw, as well as her fists but went along.
Five minutes later…
"I hate my life…" Lynn grumbled while kneeling and doing Luna's nails.
"No hard feelings. Right, Lynn?" Luna said absentmindedly while resting in the treatment chair, clad in her bathrobe and wearing fuzzy slippers, with cucumbers over her eyes and a towel wrapped over her head.
"And… done." Lincoln pulled back his brush as he finished the teen's facial mask. "Now just wait for it to dry up and peel it off, it might take a while."
"Easy peasy, bro. I always ride the slow lane." Luna said coolly.
"I know, but just to help you relax." Lincoln pushed a button on the chair and it started vibrating.
"Ohhhhh…yeahhhhh…" Luan responded. "…I owwwe yaaa biiiiggg tiiimmme, Liiiinccc…"
"Think nothing of it…" Lincoln assured her "…just unwind and enjoy yourself. There's no hurry, we're on vacation."
Luna sent him a thumbs up while Lynn gave her headphones and they started playing smooth jazz music, ensuring the rocker would remain in a serene and inactive state for a while.
"The deed's done." Lucy suddenly appeared and startled her siblings, holding a makeup artist kit.
Recovering from the shock, Lynn grew a small smirk. "So Chica Grande has been…defaced?"
Lucy nodded. "Her adolescent acne phobia should make for an adequate distraction."
"And what about Leni?" Lincoln inquired, keeping one eye on the oblivious Luna.
"The hypnopedia treatment should keep her asleep." Lucy shrugged. "Not sure what the audiobook was about though."
"Okay, Lola isn't going to be easy to contain…" Lincoln counted off his fingers "…but let's deal with Luan and Lana first. They'll cooperate."
"Lana…"
"Luan…"
Lynn and Lucy grew concerned. Both had blanked on their respective roommate in the heat of the moment. And Lana had been up and about the last time they saw her?
"Let's find them. We know where Luan should be." Lincoln led the way and they returned to the living room. Almost immediately, they saw Lana closing the door to the cellar, much to Lynn's relief.
"Lana!" The little tomboy jumped and swiftly turned around as Lynn approached her, followed by Lincoln and Lucy.
"L-lynn?" she said nervously. "Don't scare me like that."
The others noted the red cardinal from yesterday perched on her hand.
"What's it doing here?" Lincoln asked.
"Ummm…" Lana tried to stay composed. "I just gave him some birdseed at the window and he flew in. That's not bad, right?"
"Never mind." Lucy cut in and pointed at the cellar. "Is Luan still down there?"
"Eh…no. She's not." Lana shook her head. "I saw her leaving and going to the beach, still dressed as a mime."
The others widened their eyes. Lucy felt her heart beating rapidly.
"Rrrrrrr…that dumbass!" Lynn growled and suddenly bolted through the door. "I'll handle it!"
"Lynn, wait!" Lincoln followed her but by the time he reached the front porch, the jock was already a speck on the horizon.
"Ughhh…so impulsive." he panted and straightened himself, while Charles walked up to him, barked, and chased after Lynn.
"She couldn't have gotten far, right?" Lucy joined her brother, worry evident in her voice.
Lincoln didn't know what to say. "I'm sure she'll be fine…shouldn't take long?"
Suddenly, they heard someone strolling down the stairs. To their surprise, it was Lori, wearing slippers and a short nightgown.
"Lori?" Lincoln was caught off guard. "You're up early?"
Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Lori sent him a confused glare. Lincoln, despite everything, couldn't help but admire Lucy's work. Lori was not a sight for sore eyes, the bed hair not helping things.
"What are ya yappin' about, twerp? It's almost noon." she complained groggily. Lincoln glanced at the wall clock and realized it was 11.30 am. Time sure flew by fast.
"Guess not…sorry." he renounced his statement when they heard Lana sniggering.
"What's so funny?" Lori asked her, her brow falling in confusion.
"Glad I ain't a teen." Lana pointed at her.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Lori scowled.
"Lori, you might want to look in the mirror." Lucy casually pointed at a framed mirror on the wall. Pity circumstances didn't allow her to enjoy her art project more.
Looking into the mirror, Lori froze as she was faced with her hideous, pimply, rat-faced reflection before screaming like a banshee, so loud that it made the mirror crack.
"Don't look at me!" she cried and covered her face as she bolted up the stairs, slamming one of the bathroom doors shut, followed by the sound of locks closing.
"Shhhh!" Lisa turned to them from afar and glared. "We're watchin' Blarney."
"No, no, no!" Lincoln panicked and rushed to inspect the mirror. "We can't break stuff here!"
"No need to fret." He heard a robotic voice from his pocket, as the Rubik's cube jumped out and transformed into its true form and secured a firm grasp on the mirror with his extendable arms.
"He's still here?" Lana asked and the cardinal tilted his head, as Fenton carefully lifted and carried the mirror over his head.
"I shall. Forge new glass. For the mirror. Discretely." Fenton assured Lincoln and Lucy before growing wheels, speeding out of the house, and taking a sharp turn.
Lincoln watched him disappear and swallowed a lump. There was so much stuff here, surely nobody would notice the missing mirror?
"And not a second too soon..." Lucy whispered to him and Lincoln saw, much to his dread, Rita walking down the stairs, holding a steaming cup of coffee.
"Ummm…." Lincoln bit his lip, trying to maintain his composure. "Good morning, mom. Have you slept well?"
"As well as I could hope…" Rita sighed and took a sip. "I noticed Lori's sudden acne problem? Hard to miss with her wailing about being a "deformed abomination"."
She studied Lincoln and Lucy, the latter hiding the makeup kit behind her back. "I assume this was your handiwork?"
The two stiffened nervously until their mother gave them a content smile.
"Don't worry, a little practical joke I can let slide." She shrugged before her smile faltered. "As long as it doesn't involve booby traps or holding your family hostage and such…"
"Luan said she would quit." Lucy said in her sister's defense, but it fell on deaf ears.
"We didn't mean to upset her this much…" Lincoln told his mother while rubbing the back of his neck.
"I'm sure she'll get over it once she realizes it's all fake..." Rita assured him and put a hand on his shoulder. "…after wasting every skin product in the bathroom, but hey? We're not paying for it."
Lincoln didn't know what to think of it. Their mother seemed to take a little too much schadenfreude in seeing Lori squirm lately. Then again, Lori made her squirm for years.
Feeling a bit better, Rita took another sip and turned her gaze at Lana, and cocked an eyebrow. Lana's head shrank into her shirt.
"For the record, this was my work." Lucy insisted. "Halloween has given me plenty of practice with makeup and prosthetics."
But Rita failed to hear her, "You made a new friend, Lana?"
"Umm…yeah…" Lana nodded, eyeing the cellar door. "He doesn't eat much and he's house-trained… I'm sure."
"Well, just don't bring any more "friends" in here. Are we clear?" Rita told her firmly, already worried that if she gave Lana an inch, she would take a mile (a.k.a. a menagerie). "One little birdy is more than enough."
"Sure, I understand." Lana quickly agreed and stroked the bird's head, much to his visible annoyance as he ducked.
Under any other circumstances, Lincoln and Lucy would have noticed the tomboy acting more than a little suspicious, but they had far too much on their plate to think about it and instead turned their gazes toward the door.
Fortunately, they didn't have to worry for long as they heard footsteps and a familiar voice saying, "Ya know? I like ya better when you're on mute."
It was Lynn, snarking as she pulled in Luan by her ponytail, who was sitting down and folding her arms with a grumpy expression as her butt was dragged across the front porch.
"Mom?!" Lynn squeaked and let go of the mime at the door. "You're up?"
"Lynn." Rita acknowledged her. "What are you doing?"
Standing up, Luan shook her fist at the less-than-remorseful jock. "She got lost in the woods and I helped her get back." Lynn insisted while glaring at her sister.
Rita almost believed it until Luan started wagging her finger wildly before pointing at Lynn, then pretending to struggle with someone and have them in a violent headlock before gesturing at herself repeatedly, then she pretended to drag something behind her while walking in place.
"I did you a favor, you idiot." Lynn hissed at her, and Luan returned the glare and stuck her tongue out while pulling her lower eyelids.
"Yeah, so people wouldn't see ya in your stupid costume." Lana quipped, happy to no longer be the center of attention. Luan clenched her teeth at the dig.
"I think I got the gist, Luan. But I would prefer a proper testimony." Rita sighed and massaged her forehead.
Luan seethed and wagged her finger again, before pretending to zip her mouth.
Rita rolled her eyes. "If you keep your vow of silence, I only have Lynn's word to go by."
Luan barred her braced teeth and balled her fists, before pointing at her mother, then grabbing herself by the throat and gagging, and pointing at herself. She then turned around and crossed her arms.
"Eh…so I'm dead to you?" Rita asked halfheartedly. If Luan still refused to speak, she figured whatever happened with Lynn couldn't have been more serious than the standard inane sister scuffle. She didn't see any evidence of a struggle, likely because Lynn wouldn't have much difficulty manhandling the comedian.
"She's just being salty." Lynn insisted. "I did nothing to her."
Though she could believe Luan callously getting herself lost, Rita didn't quite believe Lynn. "But why did you feel the need to forcefully bring her back home?"
"Umm…because last time she went out, she got attacked by every animal in the area…." Lincoln spoke up, trying to give more plausible deniability to Lynn's case.
"…yeah, the first thing she did out here was pet a stinkin' porcupine, and you know how stubborn Luan has been lately. Me and Lana had to drag her back after getting skunked. I had to be persuasive." Lynn elaborated while an enraged Luan pretended to whack her over the head with a nonexistent mallet.
"Point taken." Rita sighed and shook her head. She did take away their phones for the week.
Lynn turned and sent a seething Luan a smug smirk. "You're welcome, sis."
Disheartened, Luan looked for any support and saw Lucy standing by her side and patting her arm.
"We have to talk later." She whispered, to the mime's confusion.
"So, what plans do you have for today, mom?" Lynn inquired, still awkward around her mother. Lincoln was eager to know too.
Rita looked unsure and exhaled. "Haven't really thought about it myself…"
"I can imagine why." Lincoln gave her a knowing look.
"Great." Lynn clapped her hands. "Eh…I mean, no problem. Why don't you let us help ya decide on what to do today?"
"May I make a suggestion, Lynn?" A new voice cut in, whispering into Lynn's ear.
The voice sent a chill down the jock's spine, while the others were caught off guard.
Turning around and taking a step back, Lynn was faced with Kathleen at the door, wearing a cap, a ponytail, and modest clothes, along with a hiking stick.
"Good morning, Louds. I hope I didn't barge in at a bad time." Kathleen said politely and gestured at herself.
"Kathleen? You're here?" the surprised Rita addressed her, while Lincoln braced himself and looked at Lynn.
To his dread, he saw the fire blazing in his sister's brown eyes, as her muscles tensed, and she balled her right fist as she met Kathleen's gaze. Lincoln saw all the warning signs.
"Oh, crap…" he had to act fast.