AN: I'm afraid that things have run away with me and there might be two more chapters to this one (unless they run away a bit, again, and I get too detailed/into things along the way). I'm mostly just being self-indulgent here. My apologies if that's not what you wanted.
I hope you enjoy! If you do, please do let me know!
111
Odo had always had an interest in emotions and, particularly, in humanoid emotions. He had emotions, of course, and he was sure of that. He didn't believe—or he hadn't before believed—that he had all the same emotions that many humanoids seemed to have in common, however.
There were things that Odo simply hadn't experienced before. He'd heard of them. He'd read about them in secret—nursing a private interest that he didn't feel it necessary to share with anyone else. He hadn't felt many of the emotions though, and having nobody else with which to discuss his own life experiences, he'd come to simply believe that those emotions weren't a part of his species' experiences.
Lwaxana Troi, however, showed Odo that he was in possession of a great many emotions of which he had simply never been aware before.
Lwaxana had taught Odo what love was—real love, and not the kind that was born simply of trying to find something he wanted to experience. He had learned what deep hurt was at the thought of losing that love. He had also learned the exhilaration of realizing that hopes and dreams could come true for him. He had learned what desire—true desire—felt like, and he'd learned about the quiet comfort of knowing that his love would meet his needs as surely as he would strive to meet hers.
Odo had learned the happiness that came from knowing that he and Lwaxana would have forever together.
And, now, they would have a child. Their son would be born to them soon—very soon, in fact—and Odo found that he was suddenly feeling something very different, unexpected, and entirely unknown to him.
As they were coming out of the small craft, and into the bay, Odo immediately recognized the place as being too crowded on an instinctual level. He felt something in him rise up—the feeling he normally got when he was working security and his entire being somehow seemed to know that something, or even someone, wasn't right in some way—but this feeling was different.
"Mother!" Deanna said, loudly enough that her voice echoed in the shuttle bay, along with the noise of too many other voices and bodies. "How could you not tell me about this? I don't even know where to begin!"
The words weren't aggressive—not truly aggressive—and something in Odo knew that. Some small, nagging voice in his mind knew that. Something else inside of him, though—the something he almost felt like he'd never even known was there before—didn't fully recognize that. And it didn't like any of this.
There were too many people, with too many noises, and too many demands, and they were moving far too quickly toward his wife and son.
And, perhaps, somehow, whatever it was that Odo felt rising inside of him was also something that others could feel because, when he instinctively moved from supporting Lwaxana, whether she needed it or not, to putting himself in front of her to slow the onslaught of people, the front woman approaching him showed something on her face—a sign of recognition.
For a moment, it was as though the something in him that Odo didn't even know well, connected with something in her. She put her hand up, gesturing to everyone behind her to stop. She put her other hand out, her fingers more relaxed and "softer" toward Odo and Lwaxana.
"I'm Dr. Beverly Crusher," she said. "Chief Medical Officer. I'm here to help Ambassador Troi."
Odo felt some of the feeling dissipate. He felt further soothed when he fully realized that he was being touched. Not only that, but he was being held. Behind him, Lwaxana was holding onto him, not caring about whether or not such a thing was appropriate in public, and she was leaning into him. He could feel her—he could feel everything about her.
And, suddenly, he felt awash with peace in the very specific way that Lwaxana seemed capable of making him feel.
"There are too many people," he offered, though he could see a bit more clearly now and realized there weren't as many as he had first believed—there were people who were assigned to care for their craft, people who were there as a sign of diplomatic greeting, those who were there to offer medical assistance, and Lwaxana's daughter, Deanna, who was simply overwhelmed to find out, apparently, a great deal that her mother hadn't told her.
All of them had stopped their forward progress, though, at the simple gesture of Dr. Crusher—a woman that Odo recognized, now, though they'd never been formally introduced.
Beverly Crusher smiled at Odo.
"We'll have some space very soon," she said. "Can you—help me escort Lwaxana to sickbay? Then, we can check her progress and talk about how she envisions things going from here?"
"She is not yet incapable of speaking," Odo offered, stepping so that he might support Lwaxana again, instead of simply blocking her from the oncoming wave of people. "Will that…be part of the process?" He asked, feeling himself tense at the thought of how things might go.
Beverly gave him a reassuring smile.
"She might be a little overwhelmed at times," she offered softly, "but we'll make everything as comfortable as we can. Ambassador Troi…"
"I will call you Beverly," Lwaxana said. "And you will call me Lwaxana. I enjoy diplomacy as much as anyone, but this is hardly the time for any of it."
"I agree," Beverly said, her tone as even and pleasant as it had been from the start. "I have a chair for you…"
"I will go on my own two feet to sickbay," Lwaxana said.
"Lwaxana…" Odo tried to interject.
"Honestly! I'm in labor! I am not an invalid!" Lwaxana snapped. Odo felt her frustration. It hit him like a wave. He understood, though, that a great many things were mingling with that frustration. Lwaxana had been having waves of various feelings since he'd come out of his bucket, and he hadn't pressed her to try to control any of them one way or another. She might be angry now, but very soon, he knew, she would want him to hold her—and he would, as long as the doctor allowed him to do so.
Odo was afraid the doctor might try to stop him from holding Lwaxana when she wanted to be held, and something in him felt like he couldn't allow her to try to do that—though he hoped there was no need for conflict of any sort.
"Of course," Beverly said. "I wasn't sure what you might want or how you might feel. If you're feeling up to it, though, we will certainly escort you to sickbay on foot. Walking is very good for helping labor to progress."
Lwaxana relaxed when she realized that she wasn't going to be forced into anything that she found unpleasant or contrary to her wishes. She allowed Odo to take her arm, and she offered Beverly the other. The doctor offered no objection. As they started to exit the bay, they found the captain waiting by the door.
"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard," Jean-Luc offered.
"I am Odo," Odo offered, realizing that he was being addressed as the only one who hadn't formally met Jean-Luc Picard—even though everyone knew who he was.
"My husband," Lwaxana supplied with a great deal of affection, now that she no longer seemed to be feeling any of the anger from before.
"Husband…" Deanna said. "Mother…what about Jeyal?"
"As much as I support introductions, reintroductions, and family reunions," Beverly said, her voice carrying a hint of annoyance, "I must insist that we move this along. When we're a little more aware of Lwaxana's current condition, perhaps we can discuss what she feels up to doing…and if she feels up to entertaining anyone…"
"Certainly, Doctor," Jean-Luc said, stepping aside and sounding at least a little scolded and apologetic. "If you need anything…"
"We will be sure to let you know," Lwaxana offered. "Thank you, Jean-Luc, for your hospitality."
Lwaxana might have offered more in the way of conversation, normally, but she seemed anxious to go with Beverly and to have more concrete information about their son and his impending arrival. Still, she didn't seem to struggle as they made their way to sickbay, though she did lean a little heavily on Odo—something which he didn't mind at all.
Deanna, for her part, followed them.
"Mother—Jeyal? I don't understand. The last time I spoke to you, you were marrying him…"
"It's all been very embarrassing, Deanna," Lwaxana said. "Honestly—I hoped you would understand."
"I'm trying to understand, Mother," Deanna said.
"Little One—I told you that Odo broke my heart…which led me to meet Jeyal, in the first place."
"Which is one reason for my confusion, you must understand," Deanna said.
"I never meant to break your heart," Odo interrupted.
"Oh—Odo—all is forgiven," Lwaxana said.
"All is forgiven…what happened to Jeyal?" Deanna asked.
Lwaxana growled. That was really the only explanation that Odo had for the sound she produced. Still, her irritation didn't come with the same strong wave of emotion that Odo had felt from her before, so he assumed that it was either minor, or her daughter had some natural and innate ability to keep Lwaxana much calmer than she might have been in different circumstances.
"Oh—I married Jeyal because my heart was broken!" Lwaxana declared with some evident annoyance and more speed than was customary for her words. "I didn't realize I could get pregnant. After all—Doctor Bezou never mentioned that, and I just assumed that…well…I'd never known anyone my age to have a child, and I did know that humans have their limitations when it comes to that sort of thing…"
"I've done a great deal of reading about Betazoid medical findings," Beverly offered, "since we heard you were coming aboard. There isn't a great deal of research released to those who are not Betazoid doctors, surprisingly, but I did learn that Betazoid women can continue to produce healthy children for nearly their entire lifespan."
"But—the Phase…" Deanna said.
"Their—your—fertility only increases after you reach full maturity. That is to say, the Phase only marks the point of heightened fertility. Many Betazoid women, however, prefer to pay careful attention to their birth control and avoid pregnancy, for the most part."
"Betazoid deliveries are quite difficult," Deanna said.
"They are long, and they are tiring," Lwaxana said. "But—oh—at the end of it all, you have a precious child to show for everything. You're a mother. It's truly worth every moment, Little One…you shouldn't let people frighten you."
"Are you honestly trying to talk me into grandchildren right now, Mother?" Deanna asked with a laugh.
"I'm simply taking an opportunity to tell you that…it's worth it," Lwaxana said. "And—I'm not sorry for my choices. Without them—I might not be here, right now, with Odo as my husband and your brother on the way…"
"My brother…?"
"When Jeyal found out I was carrying a child, he forgot his promises that we wouldn't adhere to any Tavnian traditions. It is tradition for married couples to separate when the wife is expecting. If she has a daughter, it would be improper for her husband to remain in the child's presence. If she has a son, then the mother cannot be in the child's presence. Jeyal was going to take my baby from me. Odo married me to save your brother, Deanna…to save me the loss of him. I couldn't bear it…"
"So—you're only married for the baby?" Deanna asked.
"We are absolutely not married only for the baby! I love your mother, and I love my son!"
"Your son…?"
"Tavnian law makes Odo entirely the baby's father," Lwaxana said.
"But biologically…" Deanna said, still sounding confused, but also a bit more frantic than before. Of course, Odo felt practically like electricity was coursing through his entire being, and he didn't know where it was coming from. Some of it, he was sure, was coming from inside of him, but there was plenty of opportunity for it to be coming from Lwaxana or, he supposed, even Deanna. It seemed to practically crackle in the air of the corridor.
"Biology doesn't matter," Lwaxana said. "Besides—Odo will be the biological father of any of our future children. And we'll never make a distinction between this baby and any we may have in the future."
"Future?" Deanna asked. "Mother…"
"I think we're getting a bit upset," Odo said loudly, interrupting anything else that could be said and looking to Beverly for support.
"I feel it, too," she said. She exhaled like she was trying to purposefully exhale something out of her lungs. She laughed quietly. "In fact—I'm getting it from all directions. I think we need to table this discussion until everything is a bit more settled…"
"There's nothing to table," Lwaxana said. "I am happy, Deanna, and I hope you can be happy for me—with me, Little One. But if you can't…I understand that, too."
"I don't want to take this into sickbay," Beverly said, as they reached the doors to sickbay. "Deanna—I am sorry, but…"
"Mother, of course I want you to be happy! I just—don't want to see you get your heart broken again."
"Oh—Deanna…" Lwaxana said, reaching for her daughter.
Odo looked at Beverly, wondering if she felt absolutely invisible and entirely mute.
"For what it's worth," Odo said to Deanna, "I am terribly sorry for any hand I had in breaking your mother's heart. I will spend the rest of my life making that up to her. But—I fully intend to be here for her, and our son, for however long we may have together."
"And maybe another little Changeling, or two…or three?" Lwaxana asked, smiling at Odo. She was clearly teasing him. He could see it on her face. Still, he had slipped and let it be known that he might have allowed himself to daydream about such a thing and, far from being shocked or offended, it seemed to make Lwaxana quite happy and hopeful.
"I want you to be safe, Mother," Deanna said. "Healthy…"
"I assure you," Odo said, "that is what I want most, too. I would never suggest anything that might jeopardize Lwaxana's health…"
"We'll let my doctor tell me about my health," Lwaxana said.
"And that's exactly what I need to do now," Beverly said. "Lwaxana—let's get you into sickbay and see how your baby is doing…OK?"
There was just enough in Beverly's tone of voice to let everyone know that she was being as gentle as she could, but she was just on the edge of not being gentle anymore. Lwaxana smiled at her and nodded.
"The contractions are coming quite a bit faster," Lwaxana said. She blew out her breath. "I'm feeling a little winded. I'd like to rest a little."
Odo marveled, again, at the fact that none of this was progressing at all like he'd been led to believe it might by stories of other deliveries, but he was happy to simply be there and support Lwaxana through whatever she might need him for as their son came into the world.
"Deanna, I think it might be best if you leave us now," Beverly said.
"Do you want me to be with you?" Deanna asked, holding tightly to her mother's hand. There were tears in her eyes, though Odo hadn't noticed when they'd formed. Suddenly, there were tears in Lwaxana's eyes as well.
"No," Lwaxana breathed out. "It will get quite uncomfortable for you, if you stay. I can't handle that right now…"
"We will update you the moment that there is any news," Beverly said, "and you can call me when you want."
Deanna nodded. She and her mother exchanged a quick show of affection, and Deanna left them.
"I wish to remain with Lwaxana," Odo said. He shook his head at Beverly. "I'm sorry, but…I will not be sent away."
"Oh—no—of course you'll stay!" Lwaxana said, suddenly more upset by the very suggestion than she'd been about anything in a bit. "Of course, he can stay! Oh—he's going to be the best papa, and he'll need to be there when the baby comes to hold him! It's only right that he's there!"
"Of course," Beverly said, interrupting. "Of course…I am going to expect your help and support through everything that's to come. Come along—let's start with getting Lwaxana into something less restrictive, and we'll see how your baby boy is doing!"
She practically pushed both of them into sickbay. She ushered them across the sickbay to a far area.
"I prepared a place for you that's really as private as we can offer," Beverly said. She pulled a curtain around the entire area. "It's often used for births."
Odo looked around. There were items here with which he was unfamiliar. There were monitors and something very clearly covered with a sheet that he imagined might be tools of some sort. There was a biobed and an unusual looking chair. There was a normal chair, as well.
He lifted the arm on which he had his bucket resting by the handle—an item far easier for him to hold than for most, since his appendages were, truly, only optical illusions.
"I am not leaving Lwaxana's side. Therefore, I may have to…regenerate, if our son isn't coming very soon. I can alter my regeneration cycle enough to be able to be with Lwaxana when he comes."
"You can both do whatever you need to in order to be comfortable," Beverly said. "Lwaxana is going to know what makes her feel good, and you can listen to her. I don't think she'll do anything dangerous…"
Lwaxana had left both of them for a moment. She was admiring what Odo realized was a small bed of sorts for the baby—a box, really. He saw Beverly's face, and he wondered if she had brought that item in, on purpose, for the happiness and peace that it clearly brought to Lwaxana to see it there—the end of this all in sight.
"Oh—I won't do anything dangerous," Lwaxana said with a laugh.
"And I believe a mother ought to labor and deliver as she sees fit, when possible," Beverly said.
"Wonderful…" Lwaxana said. "I do think—I'd like to sit for a moment…"
"I need to get a few things ready," Beverly said. "Odo—would you please help Lwaxana change? You can choose where you're more comfortable, and I'll be back in just a moment."
Lwaxana thanked Beverly, and Beverly left them.
Lwaxana held up the gown that was neatly folded on the biobed.
"Will you—unzip me, Odo?" She asked.
Odo nodded.
As he moved to unzip her, he realized that he was shaking—his entire being trembled. He laughed to himself as he helped Lwaxana out of her clothes and into the gown that she asked him to fasten.
"I think—I have only just fully accepted that…we are here to become parents," Odo said.
"We are," Lwaxana said. She winced. This time, it was different than it had been before. Odo felt a wave of her discomfort making him uncomfortable. She pressed her hand to her belly and he held onto her.
"Are you alright, Lwaxana?" He asked.
She opened her eyes to him and smiled softly.
"Fine, Odo," she said. "Only—they're stronger now, and coming a bit faster." She raised her eyebrows at him like she was teasing. "I think your son is starting to feel serious about…making his grand debut."
"I'm going to be a father…" Odo marveled.
"Oh, yes," Lwaxana said with a laugh. "And—I do think…we have much more time behind us than we have ahead of us, now, before he comes."
"I'll call Dr. Crusher," Odo said.
"Don't bother," Lwaxana said. "Beverly will be here in a moment. Help me into the chair? I don't care for these contraptions, but…I think they're easier for Beverly, for the moment."
"You should do what you prefer," Odo said.
"I will," Lwaxana said. "There's time for that."
"What else can I do for you?" Odo asked, as she got comfortable in a chair that, to Odo, looked anything but comfortable.
Lwaxana sighed like she was fine with being there, even if she didn't care much for the "contraption," as she'd said.
"You can hold my hand," she said. He took her hand without hesitation. "And—you can…tell me you love me?"
"Have I not told you enough?" He asked with amusement.
"You have," she said. "But—I like hearing it, all the same."
"Then, I will tell you as often as you like," Odo said. "I love you, Lwaxana."
She smiled.
"And I love you," she assured him. "I do love hearing it from you, Odo." She made a face and squeezed the hand he'd offered her. "Oh—oh…dear…"
"What is it, Lwaxana?" Odo asked.
"Nothing to be alarmed about," Lwaxana said. "It's just…I believe things may be…picking up a bit. Oh—oh—it's not…fading as fast as before."
"What does that mean?" Odo asked. "Doctor Crusher! Beverly!" He called out, loudly.
"Calm down, Odo," Lwaxana said. "It means exactly what we expected—nothing more."
Beverly came quickly—practically at a full tilt. She had a tricorder already in her hand. She scanned Lwaxana as soon as she reached them. Odo saw her relax, probably realizing that his calling out for her had come from the fact that he was simply nervous and worried about his wife and son.
"I'd like to do a quick physical examination, if you don't object," Beverly said, moving toward a sink attached to the sickbay wall.
"Of course not," Lwaxana said.
"There may not be time..." Odo said.
"Sweet Odo," Lwaxana said. "It won't be long, but…that's by Betazoid standards at any rate."
Beverly laughed quietly as she returned and went about examining Lwaxana. Odo hadn't been sure what to expect, but now he was determined not to miss anything about this whole experience—at least while his body would allow him to be present.
"Everything is looking great," Beverly said. "Scans are showing that the baby is doing wonderfully."
"What about Lwaxana?" Odo asked.
"She is doing wonderfully, as well," Beverly said. "Lwaxana—you are eight centimeters dilated. No signs of any distress for you or baby." She returned to the sink to wash her hands before running them under a sanitizing light, just like she'd done seconds before her quick examination. She returned, and picked up some items from the covered tray that Odo had noticed earlier. "I'm going to attach these monitors to your belly with adhesive. They shouldn't cause any discomfort for you or baby Troi, but they will help me keep an eye on things."
"Odo…" Lwaxana said, reaching for him not a moment after the sensors had been placed. He sensed her discomfort, and immediately knew that it wasn't from the sensors.
"Breathe through it," Beverly said. "But—I supposed you already know that. Do all Betazoid women labor like this?"
"I have only ever labored as myself," Lwaxana said with a laugh, when it was clear that she felt able to speak again. "I can't speak for the entirely of my species."
She licked her lips in such a way that it caught Odo's attention.
"She is thirsty," he said. "I believe…" He added quickly, worried that he'd overstepped some unknown boundary.
"I am," Lwaxana admitted. "If I can have water…"
"Of course, you can," Beverly assured her. "There is a replicator just over there…Odo…if you'd like to get her some water. I know you may be feeling anxious for something to do. Lwaxana, I'm not putting any limitations on you. I will answer any concern you have, but…I have had few women laboring in my sickbay that seemed so at ease with everything as you do."
Lwaxana smiled, as Odo came back with the water.
"It's all perfectly natural," she offered. She sipped the water that Odo offered her, holding a straw out to her lips. "Oh—thank you…Odo…that's excellent…"
"Would you like something for the pain?" Beverly asked Lwaxana.
"Yes," Odo said quickly.
"No!" Lwaxana said, some scolding to her tone.
Odo frowned at her and looked at Beverly.
"Are you certain?" Beverly asked.
"I thought you weren't going to put limitations on me," Lwaxana challenged.
"Within reason," Beverly said, with some clear amusement.
"Does reason not extend to my ability to decide whether or not I want medication?" Lwaxana asked. "I have delivered twice, and I know what I prefer, Dear…"
"But…" Odo started to argue, but Beverly touched his shoulder and shook her head.
"She's right," she said. "She can make her own decisions."
"If you had done your research," Lwaxana said, lightly, "you would know that a large part of the whole process for Betazoids is the feeling and connecting with our own feelings and those of our baby. Those medications you offer can sometimes be detrimental to the whole process."
"Well, we don't want that," Beverly said. "I understand, Lwaxana. I'm not going to pressure you into anything that isn't absolutely necessary. Do you have any questions for me?"
"When will he come?" Odo asked, feeling almost frantic.
"It's impossible to tell, exactly," Beverly said. "If Lwaxana were human, I'd say anywhere from an hour to three."
"And as a Betazoid?" Odo asked.
"Five to eight?" Beverly said. "Admittedly, I've never actually handled a Betazoid delivery. This is a new experience for me."
"And you're doing wonderfully!" Lwaxana declared. "Patience, Odo." Lwaxana patted him. She winked at him and offered him a reassuring smile. "You'll be a papa very soon…"
"It's not that, it's only…"
"I'm only teasing," Lwaxana said, interrupting him from having to explain himself.
"I will leave you for now," Beverly said. "But you can relax. I will remain in sickbay. I won't leave before your son comes, so if you need anything…"
"Thank you," Lwaxana said, with a great deal of affection. Odo nodded at Beverly, when she looked at him. She left them, closing the curtain to give them privacy.
"What do we do now, Beloved?" Odo asked.
"Oh—now we wait," Lwaxana said.
"Is there anything I could do?" Odo asked. "Lwaxana—perhaps, as you would tell me…I think I need to do something. Please…Lwaxana…anything…"
Lwaxana laughed.
"Oh—you know what I would like?"
"Anything at all!" Odo said, excited by the prospect of having something to do.
"You could help me move to the bed," Lwaxana said. "I could sit there comfortably and…maybe you could rub my shoulders? My neck is very sore from trying to sleep in the shuttle…"
Odo didn't know if it was the truth, but he welcomed the task. He helped her move, and he put more effort into a massage for her than he might have ever imagined doing.
"We should talk about names for the baby, Odo," Lwaxana said.
"Whatever you would like will be fine," Odo said.
"Oh, no…" Lwaxana said. "We need to talk about them. After all, he ought to have a name that his papa picks out for him."
"You want me to pick out a name?" Odo asked.
"I'll help you, if you like," Lwaxana said.
"He's really coming…" Odo mused.
"He really is," Lwaxana said.
Odo laughed at himself.
"I have to admit—I feel quite nervous," Odo said.
"Oh—don't worry, Odo," Lwaxana said. "You're going to do just wonderfully! You will be magnificent!"
"You know, Lwaxana, it really ought to be me that's encouraging you," Odo pointed out.
She laughed, but her laugh was cut short by an obvious pain that seized her. Odo continued his massage, reminding her to breathe as Beverly had. When the pain passed, she spoke to him again.
"Oh—Odo—you're already doing a wonderful job of encouraging me," she said. "And don't worry—there's going to be plenty of time for you do it a great deal more! You'll see…it's going to be a great adventure for all of us."
"You have a strange sense of adventure," he teased.
"Parenthood is always an adventure," Lwaxana said. "One of the best."
"Then, I am quite happy to be doing it with you," Odo assured her.
"I hope we have a great many adventures together," Lwaxana mused.
"Me too. But first, Beloved," Odo said. "Let's begin with this one."