Chapter 12

Angela felt something was off from the moment she opened her eyes after finally falling asleep in the early hours of the morning. But, it wasn't until she flung the covers back and stood up that she saw and then felt it.

A small red stain on the fitted sheet. Angela gasped and her hand immediately went to her panties which were damp. She ran into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet; her breathing ragged.

More blood. Angela's eyes filled with tears that quickly started cascading down her cheeks. No, no, no. This couldn't really be happening, could it? Not now. Not after they'd just told her mother and the children. Not after she and Tony had found their way to making this all work. Not after last night when she'd really leaned into the excitement about having a baby. Such a sense of relief that the secret was finally out; at least to the people that mattered most.

She dropped her face into her hands as the tears just wouldn't stop. Eventually, she had no more tears left to shed, so she cleaned herself up as much as she could. She knew she needed to get dressed and probably have Tony take her to the emergency room.

Tony. He was going to be devastated. He was like a little boy on Christmas whenever they allowed themselves to talk about the baby and the future. Now, she was going to break his heart.

Looking over at the clock, she saw that it was already 7:45 a.m. Thankfully, the children should have already left for school. She wondered why Tony hadn't come up to drop off her morning sickness snack or to see why she was running late. But then she remembered he'd mentioned last night that, since he had to leave the house early to take his college placement exam, he'd leave everything outside her door in the morning.

Oh no. Tony wasn't even here, and there was no way Angela was going to interrupt his test. She knew how excited he was about going to college. Reluctantly, Angela picked up the phone on her nightstand and dialed her mother's number.

"What is it?" Mona barked immediately after answering, since the only people who ever dared to call her this early were her daughter or Tony, usually when they needed help with one or both of the kids.

"Mother…," was all Angela was able to get out before she was once again crying.

"Angela? What's going on? I'll be right there."

By the time Mona arrived, Angela had managed to throw on a sweat suit and pull her hair into a messy bun.

"Angela? Angela? Where are you?" Mona yelled when she didn't see her in the kitchen or living room. After quickly checking the study, she hurried up the stairs and barged into Angela's bedroom.

"Oh, Angela," Mona said softly as soon she saw the stain on the sheets and Angela sitting teary-eyed on the corner of the bed.

"Mother," Angela sobbed as Mona went and sat down next to her on the bed. She wasn't an overly emotional person, but her arms immediately encircled her daughter as Angela cried into the side of her mother's neck.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. There, there. It will be all right, somehow," Mona said even though she knew it wouldn't be all right, not for a long time.

"Where's Tony?"

Angela took a few hard breaths, before answering, in turn managing to get her crying under control, at least for the moment.

"He, he's taking his college placement test. I can't bother him."

"Ok, ok. We'll worry about him later. Right now, we need to get you to the hospital. Can you walk?" Mona asked as her heart broke for her daughter and for Tony. She knew she sometimes came off as cold and unfeeling, but she deeply loved her daughter, and Tony had become the son she never had.

Angela nodded as she stood up letting her mother lead her down the stairs and into the car…

"Tony, it's Mona. You need to come to Fairfield General as soon as you can. It's Angela. We're in the emergency room," Mona said into the receiver once the answering machine at the house picked up. Mona hated to be so vague because she knew Tony would go out of his mind with worry when he heard her message, but Angela insisted that she be the one to tell Tony what had happened.

Mona walked back over to where the ER nurse had put Angela once they'd arrived. Pulling back the privacy curtain that surrounded the bed Angela was lying in, Mona's heart broke all over again. Angela's face was completely tear-stained, and she looked utterly lost and heartbroken. The doctor had confirmed a little while ago that it was indeed a miscarriage. They were going to keep Angela in the ER a few more hours for observation, but then she'd be discharged as it was still early enough in the pregnancy that she most likely wouldn't need surgical intervention.

"Did he answer?" Angela asked tearfully.

"No, Dear," Mona said, immediately going over to the bed to take Angela's hand. "I'm sure he'll be here soon though. It's already almost 11 a.m. However, your secretary did when I called Wallace and McQuade to let them know you wouldn't be in for the rest of the week."

Angela just nodded. The thought of having to go into the office right now was more than she could stomach. In fact, at the moment, she didn't care if she ever went back. Her life had been turned upside down and nothing seemed to matter anymore. Nothing except seeing Tony. He was the only other thing she'd been able to think about besides the loss of their baby. She needed him. Needed him to cry with her over what they'd lost and what could have been. Needed him to comfort her in his special Tonyesque way. It was in this moment of utter despair that Angela realized she was in love with him and had been for a while.

"Angela," Tony called just then practically pulling the curtain down as he yanked it back. He took one look at her crestfallen face, and he knew. He'd driven like a maniac once he'd jumped back in his van after listening to Mona's message. While he raced to the hospital, his mind careened from one dark thought to another as to what had happened. Had Angela fallen down the stairs? Been in a car accident on her way to work? He said a silent prayer that she and their baby would be alright.

"Oh, Tony," Angela cried when she saw him, the tears coming fast and furious. Mona slipped out unnoticed as Tony immediately walked over and put his arms around her the best he could.

"I'm, I'm, so sorry, Tony. I lost it. I lost our baby," Angela whispered, her crying immediately intensifying.

"Shh, shh, it's ok," Tony replied pulling her closer as his heart shattered into a million pieces. Of course, he was devastated about the baby, but Angela looked so fragile and vulnerable that he just wanted to scoop her up and take her away from all this pain.

"It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault," Tony said as tears began to fall down his cheeks. He didn't know much about miscarriages, but he knew sometimes they just happened. "What did the doctor say?"

Angela raised her head to look up at Tony's now tear-stained face and replied shakily, "He said that there isn't a specific reason this occurred. Sometimes it's the body's way of naturally expelling a fetus that would have been born with severe complications."

"I don't care if there would have been complications. I wanted this baby so much," Angela continued as she buried her face into Tony's strong chest, the tears still flowing.

"I know. Me too," Tony replied as he held her while they both cried. He wanted so badly to do something even though there was nothing he could do. He softly stroked Angela's back as it began to dawn on him that he was completely in love with her. This was the worst possible moment to realize it, but there was no denying it anymore. Or maybe this was the perfect time to drop the pretense and lay their cards on the table? They both had been so cautious trying to navigate their way through this surprise pregnancy and look where that had gotten them. Tony realized that all that mattered now was finding a way through this pain together, no matter the consequences.

Taking a deep breath, Tony pulled back so that he was looking directly into Angela's eyes, now two empty pools of sadness.

"Angela, I love you. Ever since you told me you were pregnant, I've fallen a little more in love with you every day. You are my best friend, but you're also the only woman I can't wait to see in the morning, eat dinner with and share my evening with. There's also no one else I would want to help raise Sam. You are the missing puzzle piece that I've been looking for ever since Marie died."

"Oh, Tony," Angela sighed looking up into his painfilled eyes. "I love you, too. When I first discovered I was pregnant, even though I didn't want to admit it to myself, I was so thrilled that it was with you. I've fallen in love with you a little bit every day too. You are the most attentive, sensitive, and honest man I've ever known. Watching you with Jonathan, I'm just so thankful you came into his, no, make that our lives when you did. You're my missing piece of the puzzle as well."

Tony cupped Angela's face before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. It was a kiss full of hope and promise for their future together...

oooooooooooooooooooo

"Hi, Honey, I'm home," Tony called as he walked through the front door stopping briefly to set his briefcase down and hang up his coat. As soon as he turned back around, he couldn't help but smile broadly…