What can I say about this one guys. It's a time-traveler one shot that I may re write and extend into a full length story at some point. I don't even know where the idea came from, I just sat and wrote it while I was supposed to be doing something else

warning.

mental illness

cracked harry

swearing

thoughts of suicide

War.

mxm relationship but no sex in this one just kissing, my ducklings.

So if someone could please remove the firewhiskey from harry that would be great. Honestly, method acting is all well and good soemtimes but not right now.

I present a mirror of erissed pruduction.

sponsored by firewhiskey the only drink that's to hot to handle and weasley wizard wheezes.

my place to be. ...

It had been months since the final battle and he had no idea what he was doing anymore. It had been what you expect after such an event, he guessed. Those first days completely blank as the dead was talked of and memorials were shared. The atmosphere was an odd mixture of deep mourning and complete and utter relief for most people. Then the work on the castle began. Better sooner rather than later he was told. They were all told. Give everyone something to concentrate on. He wished he hadn't been such a complete mess when he stumbled on what he did.

Why he took it he didn't know. Why he had taken anything from the castle, he didn't understand but he did. It became all consuming far to quickly, maybe it was because it was what it was. Maybe it was because the image had changed so much in it from the first time. Most likely it was because that one lone figure that stood within the mirror was the last person he ever expected to see and was dead and there was literally no point of dwelling on it at all. Lords he did though, alot.

His life fell apart around him, as he set a timer each day and roused himself from staring at the image, once it went off. he did this every day, no matter what. It was slowly leaking into every pore of his being even in his sleep.

The rest of his life, Well, the rest of his life was a crumpled mess on the floor. Here he was in Grimauld on his own. Ron and Hermione off in Australia. Ginny by this point had given up on him and he was grateful. Empty bottles strewn on the dark and threaded carpet of the living room floor. Kreacher had been at the castle now for well over a year, so he was truly alone. Well nearly completely alone, apart from the ghost that he visited in the attic and looked at him as he sat in front of the mirror.

He flipped the time turner in his hand. At least taking that had made some kind of sense, he guessed. he looked up at the figure, who looked down on him. Yes alot more sense to take that than anything else he took. he flipped it again. Maybe he wouldn't have felt so alone if those dreams hadn't started a few weeks ago. Maybe he could just say his mind was conjuring a manifestation for all he had lost that day. They did come, he couldn't say the man was here because of a metaphor his head had happily supplied. No they weren't that type of dreams at all and even drinking to oblivion didn't make them go away.

The timer went. he got up off the floor. He touched the cold surface of the mirror and as always, as part of their weird routine. The image in the mirror lifted their hand placed it against their side of it where his was resting. Staring into his eyes.

"Till tomorrow." He told the figure. Then walked away. he shifted to the toilet avoiding looking in the mirror. The last time he had done that he was shocked and apalled by it. Dark stains on his clothes. Beard growth whispy and patchy about his face. He flipped the time Turner in his hands as he sat on his porcelain thrown. Yes it made more sense to have taken that. He didn't even know any still existed. He palmed it into his pocket where it had been since he found it and then shifted to find some kind of food. Ignoring the pile of official looking letters by his front door and looking through cupboards in the kitchen. So quiet in the house that you could hear the ticking of the clock in the room. so silent, so still, so dead.

The library was his next port of call. Once he found the crackers he had left and buttered them. he ate them as he looked down on the work he had been doing spred over several desks.

"If I don't do this, I'm going to go mad." He told himself. Then laughed. He was talking to himself, he was already fucking mad. The completion of that thought cut of his mirth and he frowned at it all infornt of him . Then the pile in the corner. Some of George's newer inventions. Then at the gun. Then at the windows then back down at his plans. God knows how long he stood there.

Now Harry had always been the type to junp in. Always been the type to just do. Always was the type to think about it afterward and always had people around him to do the rest. He only had him now. He would only ever have himself unless he did something. he pulled the time turner back out. It was a stupid idea, though. He laid it on the desk with the Mauraders Map. God's, it was a stupid idea. He could literally fuck up the universe. He achingly slowly went to bed. Not even bothering to get changed.

The dream started with kissing and It always bloody did. It didn't matter what else happened in that dream it always started that way. Today it seemed they would be interupted by a clattering toddler. It was so bizarre. This watching a future unfold that he would never have. Had he contemplated just shooting himself in the head with that gun. Several times, generally after a dream like this. but he learnt to use it for other purposes. Even if he got one originally to do just that.

The minutes ticked by as he moved around the place gathering his things. The only way to know if it would make a difference was to actually do it. The saviour of the wizarding world could be the destroyer of everything, just because he was having ridiculius dreams that haunted every part of his life. He slotted potions into the belt he had converted to hold them about his chest. He put the gun holster on to hold it to his hip. he grabbed the map and tucked it in his back pocket. Slung as much as he could into a back pack. Could this have been better thought out? He was sure it could be, he was doing his God dann best. He told himself. Gathering more to himself and then setting several alarms to go off at certain times that evening. Invisibility cloak already secured about his shoulders, he aparated to the castle gate

The school was healing. He hadn't quite realised there would be as many people as there were. He found that even with the cloak, he would need to wait behind lumps of rubble or chunks of masonry. Sometimes , he stopped dead and held his breath as people walked past. He slipped in and there was the cloakroom off the anteroom that Harry could see on the map was still intact. He slipped into it as the room fell quiet after Charlie, Bill and some others walked up the shattered stairs above him. He just needed to wait for his first alarm.

He sat and looked and thought. Maybe he should of said goodbye to the spectral figure that had watched him as his life fell apart maybe that would of been the decent thing to do. He suppressed another laugh. It was his mind doing this to him he wasn't fucking real Harry get a grip. He sat and rocked as a booming started it took 20 minutes to realise masonry was being moved. It wasn't war. It wasn't giants, it wasn't spells. It soon would be but it wasn't right now, he ccounselled himself

He should of brought a drink he realised. He should of brought anything to occupy the time. He should of brought food maybe but he had eaten the last of that the day before. So he sat and waited his eyes drooping shut and snapping open as he was kissed again and again. Lips playing against his In those stolen moments of sleep. Strong and soft all at the same time. He checked his wand. He checked his gun. He checked the potions anything to keep his mind occupied. Then his alarm went off and he struggled with the thing to make it shut up before he was found. he pulled the time turner from his pocket.

"At least one way or another those fucking dreams will leave me alone.' He told it grinning. This was it. All or nothing, love or death. Life or complete destruction for everyone. He had memorised exactly how many turns it would take and how long that would take to achieve but his math was Shite, so God only knew where he would end up. He turned it. It felt like an age that he sat there and did so, his mind wondered and came back to it again. At this rate he would turn up a decade early. he giggled at that. then stiffled it as someone called

"Who's there?." Then his alarm went off and he was gone.

A loud booming went off and the room shook as he materialised in it. Screaming could be heard and the cries of move, move and nooo exploded around the place as feet hit the stairs above him. He hurriedly adjusted his cloak as he shook at the noises. He removed the gun. An unfortunate death eater was standing by his door as all kinds of sounds exploded around him and he shot the bastard in the head. Hands still shaking but at this distance he wasn't gojng to miss. He slipped his hand back into his cloak and shuffled sideways as people ran to him to see why his face was suddenly a gory mess. He shifted into a corner trying not to have a panic attack at the noise. Pulling his map out he scanned it under the cloak and cursed at everyone being so spread out. Remus and tonks first, then fred, then he would see what he could do. He moved slowly around the crowd that had gathered and then ran not caring up the stairs. He survived dying once. he chuckled at his own thought process.

Fred was actually the first he found. He grabbed him still under the cloak and rushed him into a toilet.

"What the fuck, get off." He said trying desperately to get away. Stopping dead when Harry appeared from under the cloak.

"I saw you like 5 minutes ago. what happened to you?" He asked wide eyed.

'No time to explain." His voice sounded gravely. He had been only talking to himslf for too long now, he guessed. He dropped the bag off his shoulder, secured several things around Fred's boddy.

"What the fuck are you doing.?" He cried.

"Stop being a twat and hold still for a minute." He cried. 'There, for fuck sake. Now off you trot." He indicated the door. Fred blinked at him. Then unsure left the toilet once again, he breathed. He ran up several more flights of stairs and the booming noises only got worse. Did he tumble a few people over those banisters?. Well yes, he did and he laughed as they fell. Bastards didn't even know what hit them. He skidded round the corner of a corridor and there they were just reaching out for one another as they looked at the scene below them.

No time for the romantic shit. He screamed in his head. Dropping his bag again and throwing several Frisbee looking disks about the place. If the floor caved in they were fucked but he wasn't sure this floor did cave in. He ran not thinking about it to much and holding onto his bag tight to his chest.

"Creevy He couldn't help the cry out as he saw him. Couldn't help the washing of happiness at the lads face turning around in his direction in confusion. The gun was out of the cloak quick like lightening as a death eater was coming up behind him and Creevy jumped at the sound of the gun. He dropped the bag. Ran up to him. placed a stupid hat on his head

"For fuck sake keep that on." He told him as he enabled the shielding spell whilst still under the cloak. Then running back catching the bag as he did so and going on.

Screaming stopped his feet and he diverted round a corner rather than down the stairs. Lavender had a half wolf on her slashing at her face. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He slid the metre or so to where she was being mauled and changed the barel of the gun, pulled on the guys hair and shot him in the temple.

The ground shook as he went on. He ran and checked the time on his light up watch. 5 minutes, he needed to be at least on the grounds in five minutes and he needed all he had to do so. He grabbed a potion and flung it as he exited out of the great doors. It smashed and mist curled around where it landed and spread . Just in between some death esters and some students.

"Run " He screamed before whooping, he never did cope well with normal .He defintely coped better with this type of madness. He stopped briefly, pulled out what he could, ddiscarded the bag. He ran the gauntlet of giants legs and threw down what he had, to booming shouts of pain as the giants stepoed on them. soon he was into the grounds proper and he slowed making his cautious way to the whomping willow.

Bam.

A death eater fell. He floated a stick to the tree and froze it before slipping in. If he had timed this right. He grabbed his watch and silenced the alarm, for fuck sake Harrry why didn't you think this through?. Foot steps marched toward him

"I heard it ok. it was some weird..." It got cut off by the potion he threw in that direction, he climbed over the paralysed people that scattered the tunnel.

"Harry you can't be thinking of doing this?."

"Mione for gods sake, I'm just checking what he gave me ok." He heard himself huff. If only that boy new. He scrabbled about to find where he wouldn't be walked into. Come on, come on, he had one more person to save come on. He could nearly shove them down the passage as they past but he bit his lip till it bled instead and ran past them as soon as physically able.

"What was that?" He heard his own voice say. He crashed into the room he knew he was in. Discarding his cloak as he swooped down on him .The body was still bleeding out on the floor.

"Right you fucker, don't die." He bit at him as he poured random potions over his body and in his mouth and rubbed his neck to make him swallow. " Did you hear me you bastard, if you die I will never forgive you." He cried as no movement was made. He pulled out the salve. Getting great globs of it on his hand and holding it to his neck.

"Blood replinisher. I need..." His hand hit on the 8 sided vial. " I swear to god if you don't let me have three kids I'm removng your balls." He laughed wildly at this. Then stilled as the eyes fluttered infront of him. " About God damn time.," He yelled af him.

"What?." Sevesus said looking up at him.

"Shut up " He told him strongly and then kissed him on that blood stained floor. Their first kiss not even registering as such." Just shut up. OK. We are gettkng out of here.,." He told him as he dragged himself away and pulled him up of the floor " You need to move. I can't carry you. I'm not exactly quiditch season ready." He laughed at that too. Village or castle, village or castle. He looked at both exits. Village, he wasn't risking the bastard at the castle. He pulled him as he leant against him heavily out of the front door.

Where are your glasses?." What part of shut up didn't he understand.

"I must of forgotten them." He said back. "I do that alot now." He lowered Severus down into a tree stump getting him anywhere fast wasn't easy.

'" What happened to you?. "

"The war." Harry said looking about for the cloak. " Gods damn it, I left it behind. ," He saw the tree line wasn't far away and he dragged Severus up again.

"You stink." He did stop then and looked at the man . Who was covered in his own blood and sweat and had half the dust of the floor of that shack all over his body. He carried on moving him.

"Hi Harry, thanks for saving my life, Harry, could I ask harry, why did you just kiss me?. " Sevrus bkinked at him and then seemed to lean on him more heavily.

"Why did you kiss me? " He mumble slurred at him as they got to the tree line he frowned at him and set him down, fiddling about with his potions. Before pulling two out and pouring them down his throat.

"Because I wanted too." He told him flatly " Because the Harry that's just about to get himself killed and then win this war has no idea what's about to affect his life if I don't do this. If I don't save you and he won't get to kiss you every day if I don't. "

"I'm not sure that answered the question." The stoic man pointed out and Harry laughed. through his head back and laughed. Feeling elated he had even got this far.

"Come on." he said helping him up gently. "No medi witch here maybe a medi gnome or a medi theastral but no medi witch."

It felt like it took an age to get them to the outskirts of the village. Harry propped him up against a wall

"Whats the plan?." He asked panting slightly.

"No one can see me." He said looking him dead In the eye "You need to go alone." He told him, severus nodddd his head slightly and winced. He took the last few vials out of his makeshift body sling and then poured them down his throat.

"No how to use a gun." He asked him and he arched a brow in response. " I'm gonna take that as a yes.' He said before checking the barel and severus eyed him like he had never seen him before. So he grinned.

"Three shots is all you have use them wisely. Got your wand." Severus shot it into his hand.

"Go into the first house you see, I don't care who's It is go into it." He told him sternly.

"Ok." Severus said tiredly.

"Please survive." Harry told him earnestly. "Please we need you just please survive." Seveuss's eyes grew wide but he nodded " He has no idea how much he would crumble and fall apart. That's the idea. " He told him grinning. " He will not know what I've done I think . He won't get it so you need to not give up ok " He told him, straightening up his shirt. Then cupping his face. " Plaese just don't give up." He told him earnestly.

"I, I won't give up?" Severus said like a question.

"Good because honestly, our kids are going to be amazing.' He kissed that shocked face 'Survive, yeah. " He called to him and left him to walk into the woods.

He released the time turner mecanism to take him back. Not really thinking about where he was when he did so. If he did he wouldn't of been on the outskirts of the village or at least he would of gone deeper into tne braken. It turned and it turned and turned. Until he crashed back into a space that looked almost exactly the same except the season. He laid and heavily breathed at the canopy above him. He did it. He whooped into the air. Gods he was tired. His eyes fluttered. He wondered how this new world would be. He wondeed what the new him would be. He was sad this him would never see it but he hoped some of him would know, somewhere. It dawned on him it was odd he hadn't already changed some or something. He couldn't hold on anymore, though, he wasn't the fit kid he used to be. So he slept right there next to a bramble Bush. When he woke he would be this new and less traumatised person. When he awoke, he may lose him now but gain so much.

The Fates had other plans... He ran the gauntlet, he got the prize

"Harry." Was called and he woke with a start.

"For gods sake I swear if his drunk again."

"Harry.' Another vojce shouted.

"It hasn't been that bad recently." That, that was one of the twins.

"You reckon.' That was the other. He sat up.

" Over here guys." He cried. Just not being able to believe it. Crashing came throught the trees.

"What did I say." Said Fred to george.

"Nah man, he wouldn't "

"You're not drunk, are you haz?." Harry blinked at them it had been, oh, a few days. He felt so dishorentated

"No.' He said quietly. Realising maybe this Harry was just as mucked up as old him. .. Wait, how was he thinking like that.

"Good because I can't deal with Snape going off again if you are " He was informed before sparks were flung in the air.

"Severus.' Harry breathed at them. They bkinked at him

"Yeah you know. The guy who's been doing your head in for like six months " George gave him a funny look. Then turned to fred " Maybe his hit his head. "

"We'll find out in a minute. I'm not going anywhere near him. Remember last time, I got accused of hurting him."

"Whats going on?."

"His really lost his memory." Fred said, looking properly frantic. " I'm Fred, this is George." He said loudly. 'Fred. " He pointed to himself " George " he pointed at his brother.

"Leave us." Harry whipped to the side and saw Severus standing there. Then looked as the twins left before whipping back around to him. He just stood there and surveyed him. He had never felt so grubby and so uncouth in his life. With his whispy beard, his grubby clothes. As severus stood there in clean and crisp black.

"It really happened then?." Harry blinked at him

'" Yes, last night" He told him

"And, and you meant what you said. I didnt dream that ."

"I meant all of it Severus, the last six months without you." And to his chagrin he burst into tears and then he was surounded and rocked and placed in a lap.

'" You stupid boy, you could of destroyed the world." Harry looked at him and blinked away the tears

"Yeah, I know.' He told him, Severus kissed him gently pressing their lips together.

"I owe you about 179 of thsoe now.' Harry laughed a little bit shocked

"I can live with that." He sighed and rested against him.