I could see through my light just fine, but from the reactions of the Templars, I didn't think they could.

None of them could look in my direction, which made the assault on the Qunari stutter a little. I was pretty sure it was still worth keeping going though, especially when I realized that Cullen had only brought two dozen men with him at the most; we were still outnumbered in the plaza.

I don't think Fenris could see all that well either, but he stayed right next to me as we attacked the nearest Kossith. As he used his enormous weapon to break the man's guard, leaving him open for me to cut open his side, leaving him reeling, open in turn for Fenris to behead him when he fell to a knee.

Between their own bombs going off among their ranks, the Templar assault, and my glow-stick of doom spell, I think the local leader of the Antaam lost his nerve. Those deep horns blared the same pattern we'd heard earlier, the entire force began to retreat...

...but not back the way they'd come. I was so busy attacking one who'd lagged behind, lamed by some earlier wound, that it took me too long to realize that we weren't actually fighting the Qunari's main force anymore.

We were fighting a rear guard, left behind to deal with us while everyone else used the street on the Chantry's western side to book it south.

Fenris realized it first, shouting out, "They're past us!"

"I see it!" I shouted back, thrusting upwards to find my opponent's throat. "Cullen! They're getting around us!"

The Knight-Captain was at my side a moment later, his own sword covered in blood. His lion's helm turned slightly away to shield his eyes, "Maeve! What is that!? Where is the Knight-Commander!?"

"Dead!" I told him, "We have to press them!"

He visibly rocked back, going silent.

I immediately punched him in the chest with my free hand, hurting my knuckles more than him thanks to the armor. "Cullen! You're in command now! We have to stop them from getting to the Compound!"

Cullen shook his head one, then twice, then bellowed. "All Templars pursue! Run them down! Follow the light! In Meredith's name!"

Our little warband tore off, more a mob than an army, chasing our retreating enemy.

The next... fuck. I don't know. Hour? Two hours? However long it was, it passed in an exhausted blur of repetition. Of the Qunari making stands in narrow spots, holding us back. Of more Guards and Templars beginning to arrive, Cullen giving orders, telling them to get around the Qunari by way of alleys and side-streets.

Of the Antaam pulling back when they realized they were about to be flanked, of them retreating south a block or two before setting up so we could do that song and dance again. And again. And again.

I kept my light spell going the entire time, the mana not beginning to sputter out until we neared the docks. Until the massive doors of the Qunari compound slammed shut behind their final retreat. When arrows and bolts began flying from the walls, forcing us to give up our first attempt to breach them.

I found myself collapsing onto a small stairwell near a warehouse, the last bits of golden light fading as I finally set the sword down. Fenris was slumped against the wall nearby, while Cullen rasped out a report to the recently arrived Brennan. He'd removed his helm after a spear had wrecked half of it, abandoning it somewhere along the way.

Brennan listened, nodding a few times, then not-so-gently pushed him towards me, "Go rest, Knight-Captain. I'll prepare the final attack."

Cullen seemed ready to disagree, at least until she went on, voice harder. "You can barely talk and you can barely stand up. You're not going to be leading any more assaults tonight. Go!"

He did, staggering over to where we were panting for breath. Trying to ease aching muscles. Cullen picked out a storage crate next to the stairs, easing himself onto it with a visible wince. Then he tipped over slightly, leaning against the railing separating us.

"...Meredith is truly dead?" He asked in a ruined voice.

"...yeah." I said quietly. "She's in the Chantry that we made our stand at."

Armored hands rose, rubbing at his face. "That light. What was it?"

I didn't want to answer that question. So I asked one of my own, "What did it feel like?"

His hands fell, letting me see him frowning. "...nothing. It didn't feel like anything at all. I thought it magic, but there was no hum of it on my skin."

...huh. That wasn't what I'd expected to hear. I'd expected him to say magic, and for me to tiredly shrug. Instead I stared ahead blankly, then kicked my sluggish brain into motion, reaching out to the tether in my belly.

Longing? I asked quietly.

"I smothered it as best I could, but the true debt is owed to another spirit. One of elder Faith. It would not say why it blinded the Templar's senses, or how, only that it was not time yet." She replied, sounding as tired as I felt. "You also had another shift to your soul."

I know.

I just didn't care at the moment. I was too tired to care.

"Meredith." Cullen murmured. "It... how did she die?"

Fenris answered before I could, "Saving Maeve. She could have thrown herself inside, but instead threw Maeve behind her, to the ground. Shielded her from gaatlok explosives. She withstood the blasts, took one more Kossith down with her, but then more arrived."

Cullen turned, staring at me. "Of course. Of course she did. That light... it was Meredith, wasn't it?"

Oh God.

"I don't have enough faith to believe that." I muttered, shaking my head. "Maybe a spirit of Faith felt like intervening."

"...no. I would have felt that. It was Meredith. I know it." He replied, making whatever was left of my soul twist painfully in my chest. Knowing that I should have stopped him there. Should have just told him that I'm a mage.

A young child whispered in my ear, "No. Not yet. They need the faith to withstand what comes. Let them believe."

I twitched, hearing Longing hiss furiously. The feeling of her power wrapping around me, driving off whoever had spoken.

Cullen didn't seem to notice. Too dazed, too busy thinking that Meredith's soul had empowered me in death, as she had in life.

....who was that? I asked Longing.

"Martyr." She replied, making my fingers twitch at the name. My mood did not improve when she went on, "An Elder with some ability at precognition. I... would listen to it's advice, though I have told it to speak with me rather than you in the future."

I closed my eyes, let myself fall backwards onto the stairs. It was awkward, and painful, and I just did not care in the slightest.

Wheels within fucking wheels. There were too many things going on in this city. Too many players spinning webs. Both in reality, and now in the Fade. Mysterious beings of Faith, Longing's unknown plans. God alone knew how many spirits of rage and revenge had feasted tonight. Fuck. The Nightmare would probably be drawn to the city as well, if that Godzilla sized bastard wasn't already here.

"Hush. I will shelter you from even him. Rest, Maeve."

I think I actually fell asleep like that for a few minutes, jerking awake when someone sat down beside me. I opened my eyes to see that it was a very displeased, and disheveled looking, Merrill.

...right. I'd gone off without her. Again.

A flailing hand found hers, squeezing tightly. A wordless promise that I'd make it up to her. Her little sniff told me that I'd better, but her gentle kiss of my forehead told me that I was forgiven regardless.

Brennan's attack went in sometime around then. A force of mostly city Guard trying to use ladders to scale the walls, covered by what few archers that were still around, and still able to draw back their weapons. I didn't think it went well, from the number of wounded coming back. From how they began to fill up the streets and alleys around us. From how Cullen forced himself up, staggering over to join the conference of officers around my friend.

They called it off ten or fifteen minutes later, pulling everyone out of range. Ordering them to start setting up barricades to stop any attempt by the Qunari to break out. To hold until we'd rested, recovered. Maybe found the missing force of battle-mages.

Far more important to me personally was the fact that someone realized we were near an inn, and hammered the doors open to find the proprietors hiding inside. A half hour later and food was being distributed while the surviving leaders all began to group up around our little corner of the street.

The bread was a bit stale, but it tasted wonderful to staving bellies. They promised that fish were being roasted as well, the alert going out through the docks that the Qunari had been contained. That the fighting was over, for now.

Of those that gathered around, Brennan and Cullen I obviously knew, but I didn't recognize most of the others. Not by name, at least, though I thought I'd seen a few of them around before. A trio of Templars, and four other Guards ended up in a rough circle, all of us tearing apart bread, slurping watered down wine or ale.

We all updated one another on what had happened through the night. I went first, describing the running battle from the Alienage to the nameless western Chantry, then our initial stand there until Meredith arrived. How bad our losses had been, the desertion of the crew from the Gallows, and then our orders to pull back.

Cullen had confirmed that he'd gotten Meredith's message about the other Knight-Captain, and that he'd sent additional runners to Hightown ordering the man's immediate arrest.

"I got the message, but didn't see him or the mages." Brennan said when asked. "They must have still been circling around by the time I left Hightown."

I scowled, "Taking their fucking time."

"Cowards." The word came from Merrill of all people, but it drew low growls of agreement from everyone else.

One of the other Templars crossed his arms. "I will swing the headsman's ax myself, if given the chance. But... I must ask. How did the Knight-Commander fall?"

Everyone turned to me, only for Fenris, bless the bastard, to start speaking instead. Describing in painful detail how the Qunari's attack had broken our force. How Meredith had led a scrambling retreat to the Chantry. How we'd tried to hold the doorway, had actually been sort-of holding.

I could have done without his words about how it had been Meredith and I at the end. Fighting side by side in the doorway, trying to hold the Qunari off while everyone else recovered behind us.

How the Qunari had stopped trying to gut us with spears. How they'd backed off.

How she'd thrown me back. Been hit by the grenades.

How she'd died, but not before killing one last enemy.

He even embellished my reaction a little. Saying that my sword had begun to glow the moment she'd fallen. How I'd come charging in, joining him in pressing the Qunari back. Killing those blinded, fighting our way back outside in time to see their slingers screw up their throws thanks to the light. How Cullen's timely arrival had broken them.

I had to look away when all of them stared at me. When the same Templar quietly asked Cullen if it had been magic.

For Cullen to say that it wasn't. That none of his men had felt the smallest bit of mana.

That it had truly been Meredith.

None of them saw Brennan give me a hard look that made me look away in shame, the rest of them probably thinking that I was just in mourning. Unable to process the fact that the Knight-Commander had fallen right before my eyes.

...fuck. She might not have been the only one. I turned back to Merrill, "Evelyn?"

"Alive." She assured me quickly. "She was wounded, but she made it into the Chantry. She's... she's standing vigil over the body now."

Cullen closed his eyes. "Maker's breath, that poor girl. Knight-Lieutenant Laras? Find two men still in good shape, and get them over there to relieve her of that duty. Tell her to... send her to the Alienage. I presume that will be our command center to handle the aftermath of this debacle. Start sending all of our wounded there as well, I believe the Night's Watch has a full team for treating them ready."

The Templar nodded, ducking back to find the men to send off. That left the rest of us free when Cullen frowned, turning back to me. "Where is the First Enchanter?"

I blinked. Then blinked again. Orsino? He was... wait. Fuck. Where was Orsino?

"I... have no idea." I admitted, trying to think. "I remember him being at the plaza, helping try to make a barricade, but I don't remember seeing him after that. Merrill?"

She shook her head, looking equally baffled. "I don't remember seeing him at all, even when we were there. Fenris?"

Fenris made it three for three, "I did not see any mages beyond those of the Qunari."

None of us entertained the idea that Meredith might have sent him away. She wouldn't have. She'd always kept him close, firmly applying the adage about friends and enemies. Which meant that, sometime after we'd spoken to her, but before the final Qunari attack... he'd just vanished without anyone noticing. Hell, apparently Fenris and Merrill hadn't noticed him at all, though I was sure I'd seen him for a moment.

Shit.

Cullen's features pulled into a slow, dark scowl. "He deserted you all? He was not there when the Knight-Commander made her last stand?"

Double shit.

When none of us said anything, Cullen began to shake. Anger giving the man energy he'd been lacking, turning to the other Templars present, roaring at them. "Find him! Find him right now!"

They bolted without saluting, bellowing orders for every Templar still alive to get onto their feet. That the First Enchanter had abandoned the Knight-Commander, that he was to be found dead or alive.

Brennan promptly moved away as well, shouting for her own people to fill in the gaps as the Templars began to run in every direction, making sure that the Qunari didn't have an obvious weak point to try a break out. Not that I really expected them to try it. They had to have taken horrendous losses tonight, and they had to be exhausted as the rest of us. I doubted they'd be doing anything besides forting up and waiting for the incoming convoy.

Then again, my tactical brilliance had amounted to the Watch's mauling tonight, so what the fuck did I know?

"We should go home." Merrill said quietly.

"Yeah." I sighed, slowly, painfully slowly, pushing myself upright. Merrill followed suit, leaning heavily on her staff. Fenris got up as well, the three of us just about to leave when Brennan came over.

"Maeve." Bren said, "I'm not going to say anything, but I think you went too far this time."

"...so do I." I said quietly. "We'll talk later, all right?"

"...all right." A hand rose, gently resting on my shoulder. "You get back to the Alienage and try and get some rest. The Knight-Captain and I will try and get all of this organized. Like he said, we'll eventually meet you there for a war council. Probably around dawn if nothing else goes wrong tonight."

I grunted, "Right. Speaking of, I don't remember seeing Tallis after her last ambush. She's probably still around, so be careful. And watch for infiltrators."

Brennan grimaced. "Yeah, that's going to be a pain. Before you collapse, could you send scouts into Darktown? We need to know if Petrice's old barricades are still intact, or if the Qunari are moving around down there."

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks." She gave my armor a gentle shake, nodded once, then went off to resume leading whatever troops were still alive.

With permission, more or less, the three of us tiredly picked our way through the narrow streets. More civilians were coming out, but those down here near the docks were far more appreciative of our presence than their Lowtown counterparts. Probably because there'd been less direct fighting down here, fewer burning buildings, that kind of thing.

I saw fishermen calling for lights, saying they'd brave the dark harbor to catch food. Their wives and children were fussing over exhausted Guards and Templars, giving them water, bread. Saw several Chantry sisters rushing down, carrying bags filled with clean cloth, needles, and small vials of healing droughts.

Most didn't pay much attention to us. Not until Templars began pointing at me. Began staring.

Started saluting.

I had to stop when the first one did it. I recognized him; the night guard at the Grand Chantry. Not much younger than Emeric, hair long gone to gray, his features weathered. The reason for their remaining behind when the others had gone to hunt for Orsino clear in their wounds. In the glazed expressions to their eyes.

Not that it stopped his fist from thumping hard on his breastplate, his deep voice gruff when I stared at him.

"She will shelter you always, Dame." He said, the utter certainty of faith in his voice. "As she is now sheltered by Andraste."

My jaw worked, my eyes lowering to the ground when other wounded Templars began to do the same. Began saluting the hidden mage in their midst. Someone who'd never intended to support them, someone who had no idea what she was doing. A lying bitch trapped because she'd let herself be trapped when she should have damn well known better.

I shook my head once, then twice. Unable to bring myself to return the gesture.

I just forced my legs to start moving again, Merrill gently wrapping an arm around me. Helping to keep me steady as we walked, as men and women murmured prayers and blessings as we went by.

Nearly all of them actually got up, moving with us. Forming up into a clear guard around us. That all of them had bandages, or even still bleeding wounds, didn't seem to bother them.

I probably should have told them off. Told them to stay... but I couldn't find my voice.

And, once we crossed the invisible line between the Docks and Lowtown, it was probably a good thing they were along with us. The locals were coming out in force there as well, but they weren't nearly as appreciative of our victory. Glares and scowls were our greeting, rather than food and tender care.

The Templars shouts that the Qunari had been pushed back to their Compound were met with grumbles and mutters rather than cheers. With people clearly trying to get a better angle on me, to make it clear just whose fault they thought this entire catastrophe was.

As a result I wasn't surprised when we finally drew nearer to the Alienage to find a growing mob outside of it, staring down a group of Watch holding their ground with spears and shields at the ready.

Well, some were of the Watch. A closer look showed that most of them were actually the even less trained militia, wearing almost no armor behind their enormous kite shields. Still, those barriers, and their long weapons, were enough to keep the angry Humans at bay for the moment.

The old Templar leading us took one look ahead, and then proceeded to lose his goddamned mind.

"Get your worthless selves back to your homes!" He roared, making half of the crowd jump in shock. "In the Maker's Holy Name, we shall not deal with this stupidity tonight! Begone!"

A man shouted back from the mob, "The city's in ruins! It's the knife-ears fault, they provoked the ox-men!"

Rage rolled out from the assembled locals, a woman screaming. "They killed my husband! Speared him down!"

"Enough! Begone in-"

A rock sailed out, striking his hastily raised shield. As if that was the signal, more began sailing out, joined by whatever other debris was light and easily hurled.

Steel was drawn an instant later, the Templars having apparently had enough. Exhausted and wounded or not, having garbage thrown at them by an ungrateful mob was something they weren't going to put up with.

They advanced, and I found myself walking behind them, tiredly drawing my sword one more time.

I didn't end up needing to use it. Like the last time a mob had come for the Alienage, their courage broke quickly under the threat of knights marching on them. Of real blades drawing closer, making them realize that few of them had anything deadlier than a brick, and no protection at all.

That the Alienage's own defenders started moving forward, coming to aid the Templars, probably contributed a lot as well. While those closer to us seemed willing to make a fight of it, the back ranks had no interest in being speared, and bolted. Routing was contagious as I'd seen earlier, and soon enough the mob's anger turned to a mob's panic, and they were all running north, clearing out with only two or three being cut down.

We shuffled through the parting ranks of spears to find Ser Emeric in command, Ser Hound faithfully sitting beside him at the gate proper.

"My lady." He saluted on seeing me, frowning at the Templars accompanying us. "Is the battle won?"

"Sort of." I mumbled, patting him on the arm without stopping. "Fenris? Please? I can't... not tonight."

Fenris gave me a solemn nod, peeling off to speak in low tones to the other man. Leaving Merrill and I free to help one another down the stairs, the rest of the walking wounded following along behind.

At the base of the stairs we found an Alienage plaza full of people. The rows of empty cots had become rows of full ones. Quiet moans from the wounded filled the air, along with the somber voices of those tending to them. That was all on my right, while on the left were those of the Watch who'd gone back with Nethon.

They were eating stew with slow, mechanical motions, drinking water, or laid out on the ground, already asleep.

Near them was Elowen, her personal guard still nearby, and she came rushing over the moment she saw us.

"Maeve, Merrill." Both of her arms wrapped around us, and I felt a leaden arm hug her back. "Thank the Maker. The battle?"

"Qunari are back in their compound." I muttered. "But... Meredith's dead."

She went still just as she was about to release us, then a low, mournful sound came from her. Her embrace tightened again, holding us both close. "Are you all right?"

"No." I said, unable to say anything else. "Need a bed. Please. Wake us up at dawn."

Merrill spoke up, voice quiet as well. "Fenris is with Ser Emeric. He can tell you what happened."

Elowen nodded slightly, finally letting go. Letting me see a tear in her eyes, a clear fear for what would become of us now that our greatest ally in the city was gone.

"Of course. I have a guest room in my home, you can stay there."

I mumbled something grateful, Merrill echoing me more loudly. Then ma vhenan was pulling me across the square, clearly unwilling to let anyone else try to stop and talk to us. Thankfully Elowen's husband was the kind of guy who understood how to read a room. He took one look at us when we arrived at the door, opening it and waving us to the guest room.

"Children are asleep." He said quietly. "But if you wake them I won't blame you."

"We'll try not to drop the armor." I replied softly, "Thank you."

He smiled, carefully pushing open a door to reveal a well appointed, if small room. Most of it was occupied by the full bed, but it was warm, with thick blankets serving as a make-shift rug on the floor. Showing just how wealthy the Alienage's baroness was in comparison to any of her rank out in the city proper.

Merrill and I began helping one another out of our armor at once, doing our best to set the bits and pieces down quietly as we'd promised.

We were just about to collapse when a quiet knock had Merrill pad over to the door. She opened it a crack, sighed, then opened it further to reveal Evelyn Trevelyan, still wearing her battered armor, though without her helm.

The teenager looked every bit the traumatized fifteen year old when she met my eyes for all of a heartbeat before bursting into tears.

Merrill got her inside, gently shushing her, finding a cloth to wipe at her cheeks while I started working on the girl's armor. She tried to help, but her hands were shaking so badly that they mostly just got in the way.

Eventually we got her down to her just the sweaty shirt and pants she'd had on under everything else, and got her over to the bed. Despite being the smallest I was apparently in demand, and ended up being pushed into the middle by Merrill. Letting her curl up on my left, wrapping an arm around my waist while Evelyn collapsed on my right, burying her face into my neck.

I remember holding onto both of them before I let exhaustion claim me.